Unlocking My Love
by JadeHeart
Summary: Shuichi and Yuki begin again. Can they truly build their lives together as they had once before, or will the changes that have been wrought on them both make it impossible for them to return to what they once were? Sequel to ‘The Key to My Heart’
1. Chapter 1

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings:** bad language

**Author's Notes: **Shuichi and Yuki begin again. Can they truly build their lives together as they had once before, or will the changes that have been wrought on them both made it impossible for them to return to what they once were? (Sequel to 'The Key to My Heart')

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, they belong to the creators of 'Gravitation'.

Unlocking My Love

Chapter 1

Shuichi stood in the centre of the room looking around at what was once so familiar but now seeing it as though with a new pair of eyes. So many things were the same and yet…

"Take a seat," Yuki said as he moved to the kitchen, "Do you want a coffee?"

"Ah, yes, please," Shuichi answered. He turned towards the couch, one foot already poised to take the first step when he stopped. It wasn't the same couch. He hurriedly searched through his still new memories, recalling every moment he could about the couch. No, it definitely wasn't the same one.

"What's wrong?" Yuki's voice startled him so much he gave a little jerk and his lifted foot came down with a thump.

"Eh, nothing! Nothing at all," and he hurried over towards the item in question. Gingerly he sat, feeling the leather give only slightly under his body weight. It was new and just recently bought, judging by the stiffness of the covering and that 'just out of the factory' smell that filled his nostrils. He felt a pang of loss. It didn't seem right somehow. This wasn't the couch of his memories, it didn't belong here in his mind. It was like walking into a room expecting to find a good friend, only to have a stranger turn to face you. It threw him completely off balance.

He reached out a hand and ran it over the seat cushion next to him, feeling the chill against his palm. Why had Yuki got rid of the old couch, he wondered. It had still been in good condition, and he should know considering the number of times he had slept on it. It had been like a part of him over those years, as though it belonged more to him than to Yuki despite him having been the one to purchase it. That couch had been a big part of his life, especially his life with Yuki. He had just been expecting everything to still be the same and this difference, this huge, monumental difference, just seemed so wrong.

He could hear Yuki clattering in the kitchen and he took that time to take stock of the rest of the room. It was… all different, he suddenly realized. It was like looking at something with a strange kind of double vision; one image overlaying the other which only made every small change stand out that much more. There were gaps on shelves when they should have been full, items were in places where in his mind other articles had been positioned, there was no video game controls littering the floor before the TV.

A pressure began building at his temples, a tightening as though a vice was being wound another notch. It shouldn't be different. He had finally remembered, he had finally come back here – it shouldn't be different! A lump formed in his throat and he struggled to breathe for a moment as he felt as though he were being bombarded by the ghost memories of the past, and like ghosts, they were completely insubstantial and did not belong in the here and now. That disjointed feeling only made him feel that he didn't belong here either, that he was nothing more than a relic from that past, a forgotten portion that once had resided here but now no longer had a place as the present moved on and bypassed his existence.

"Here you go," He looked up quickly to see the cup of steaming liquid placed before him on the table, a table that he could remember, even down to the slight coffee ring that stained one corner.

"Ah, thanks," he managed to murmur, grateful that he was able to keep his voice from completely cracking. He reached out and wrapped his chilled hands around the warm mug, chilled not from the touch of the cold leather but from an inner chill that had permeated out to his limbs. He brought the cup to his lips taking a hesitant sip, hoping it would help clear his clogged throat so he could at least converse normally with the man sitting next to him. He couldn't bring himself to look at Yuki yet though. If he did he just knew that he would break down completely.

"You know," Yuki said, leaning back on the couch and taking a sip from his own cup, "Those clothes really don't suit you. It's not like you haven't got the money to dress properly. The least you could do would be to buy something that was actually your size."

Shuichi's head spun for a moment in confusion, glancing down at himself with a puzzled frown which vanished as he realized what Yuki was talking about. "Oh, I borrowed these from Hiro," he explained.

"Really," Yuki's voice was so flat that Shuichi shot him a quick side-long look. What was going on there, he wondered. Had Yuki and Hiro had a fight or something? Hiro hadn't said anything to him. "When were you with him?"

"Earlier tonight," he replied, taking another sip. "I got caught out in the rain and my clothes hadn't dried so I borrowed these."

"Why didn't you catch a cab to his place? Or at least take an umbrella?"

"I…I hadn't really intended going there," Shuichi said, not wishing to elaborate at the moment. The image of the first time he and Yuki had had sex flashed through his mind again, and he couldn't prevent the shudder that ran up his spine. The memory of that pain and the confusion he had felt seemed all too fresh still, even though he knew realistically that it had happened a long time ago. He just needed time to get his head around it.

"So where were you off to?" Yuki pressed. "It was pretty late to just be roaming the streets."

From his position in the opposite corner of the couch he watched the younger man perched on the edge, sitting there stiffly. Why was he acting like he was a guest here? Yuki frowned. Any other time he would be sprawled all over the damn thing like it was his own private possession. Half the time Yuki had to almost fight for room on it, especially after a night Shuichi had slept on it; having to push the bedding, and quite often the body, onto the floor just to be able to sit down.

He hadn't been able to control the flash of ire he had felt in being told that Shuichi had been with Hiro before seeing him. He had felt exceedingly jealous of anyone who had been able to spend time with Shuichi since he had returned to Japan, but mostly with Hiro. He envied their close friendship and had always felt that Hiro had a part of Shuichi that he could never touch and it bothered him that anyone other than himself could have any part of Shuichi. Shuichi was his, and his alone. He watched as Shuichi took another sip, not having answered his question yet. Just what was with the boy?

"Oh, I wasn't going anywhere in particular," Shuichi finally said, shifting a little where he sat but still refusing to sit back more comfortably.

"I thought you went to Tohma's?" Yuki said, slightly accusingly. Was Shuichi lying to him now! "You said you had spoken with him."

Shuichi shook his head, "No, I just called him," He shrugged slightly, "I had some things I needed to ask, and he was the only person I knew who would give me a straight answer."

"Tohma?" Yuki said with some disbelief. "What do you mean?" He was a little confused by what Shuichi was saying. It was unusual enough for the youth to turn to Tohma Seguchi for anything; to do so voluntarily and bypass all his other friends and family was completely unprecedented.

Shuichi set his half drunk cup on the table and turned his head to look at Yuki directly for the first time since they had arrived home. "Well, I suddenly realized that no-one had been telling me the truth. Not since I had come home." Yuki felt his heart contract painfully as Shuichi continued, "No-one was telling me the truth."

"So…" Yuki tried to keep his voice calm. "Why did you go to Tohma? Wasn't he doing just the same?"

Shuichi looked very serious and thoughtful as he continued to regard Yuki. "Actually, no," was his surprising answer.

Yuki was a little startled. He knew Tohma hadn't told Shuichi anything different to anyone else so what did he mean?

"Tohma never said anything to me that was a lie, everything he told me was the truth - always. I just never asked the right questions until now."

Shuichi stood and crossed the room to the windows, moving the curtains to gaze out at the night beyond. It was completely true. Tohma Seguchi hadn't lied to him once since he had come home. In everything he had done, everything he had said, Tohma had always been completely upfront. When Shuichi had asked something, he had got an honest answer. Tohma just hadn't volunteered any additional information if it was not directly related to answering one of Shuichi's questions. That wasn't the same thing as lying. For a start, that was just Tohma all over, even on a normal day. Secondly, he was abiding by his promise to Yuki which is what he had learnt tonight.

He let out a small sigh, his head still hurting as his thoughts seemed to be flinging themselves against the sides of his skull like frightened birds trying to escape the approach of a predator. He had learnt a lot tonight – sometimes more than he thought he could cope with. He let the curtain fall closed and turned to face Yuki once more. The man still sat on the couch, not having moved even an inch. He really was beautiful, Shuichi couldn't help but think, and his heart gave a different kind of lurch as a spurt of warmth filled his chest. He felt his throat tighten slightly as though he were about to cry. He did love this man - that was something he knew was true. But…..

"Tohma never lied to me. Okay, he also didn't tell me the truth but he never outright lied to me. He dropped so many hints to try and tell me that I could have asked him more but I just didn't see them. I don't really know how I missed them, sometimes I'm so dense I surprise myself! So you see," Shuichi said, remaining where he was by the window. "Tohma was the only one that I knew that I could trust completely to give me the truth." Another small shrug, "So that's why I spoke to him first."

"What did he tell you?" Yuki asked in a low voice, not sure he really wanted to know. Tohma could be brutal sometimes in his truths, and even he, Eiri, wasn't spared that at times.

"Everything. Well, at least everything that I could think of to ask in a very short space of time. Anyway, he confirmed the main things that I needed cleared up, which helped a number of other smaller things fall into place as well."

"Things like?" Yuki questioned, probing further. Just what sort of things had Shuichi being trying to find out?

"Us," was Shuichi's straight forward reply.

Yuki took another sip from the almost cold drink in his hand, anything to give him time to think and collect his thoughts. Calm, he thought to himself, stay calm. He's not screaming and running out the door so everything's still okay. "So you really do remember us being together?" he finally asked the question. He needed to hear that confirmation again. Hearing it back in the park had been wonderful, mind shattering so, but at the same time it had seemed too much like a dream, a product of his overactive tortured mind to truly be real. Now, sitting here in what once had been their home, together - now he needed to hear it again.

"Yeah, I think I remember most stuff anyway. The main things at least," Shuichi finally walked back to the couch, sitting once more on the edge, though this time he appeared a little more relaxed than he had been. "I certainly remember how we first met, there in the park." A smile quirked the corner of his lips, "Hardly a great start, was it?"

"Probably not. But we never seemed to go for auspicious moments."

Shuichi gave a small laugh, "That's true; anyway, I remembered that. I remember how I tried to find you again after that too. I remember you coming to my first concert," He focused his eyes on Yuki's. "By the way, did you turn up at the recent concert we held back there?"

Yuki was tempted to say no, to pretend that he hadn't been there at all. It was embarrassing to think that Shuichi might learn of how he had fled that night and the resulting accident. But there was something in the youth's eyes, a wariness that he didn't recall being there previously, which warned him to be honest this time so he answered, "Yes, I was."

A look of relief flashed over Shuichi's face, as though a dark cloud had lifted. "Ah, that's a relief!" he said. He smiled at Yuki, a little wider than before. "I thought I must have been going crazy or something to imagine it. I'm glad that I'm not - at least not yet! Why didn't you stay longer and say hi?"

"I…" Yuki stumbled over the words in his head. "I…had to leave." He left it at that, unable to elaborate. The pain he had felt at seeing Shuichi that night was still too raw. Just remembering it made his heart ache. Later he might be able to tell him about it, but not now.

"That's okay, I guess," Shuichi turned away, reaching out for the cup.

"Hey, I'll make us some fresh ones," Yuki said suddenly, reaching forward to grab the cup from Shuichi's hand. Their fingers brushed against each others, pulling their eyes unwillingly to meet. Shuichi's amethyst ones were wide, making Yuki remember all the other times over the years he had seen the youth look just like that. He didn't know what Shuichi would be seeing in his own but he felt a flood of heat sweep through him. All the longing over the past year, all the pain and heartache he just wanted to forget. He had Shuichi back now, he just wanted to be with him in every possible way he could. The flash of heat pooled in his groin and his fingers tightened a little on the cup held between them. He had him back – and he would have him now!

Shuichi felt Yuki's fingers slip over the top of his, curling around them as they followed the contours of the cup he was holding. The feel of those long fingers almost threading with his own brought another flood of memories to mind. He could feel the heat from Yuki's hand warming his own, the smoothness of the skin. Glancing down he could see the contrast between Yuki's pale skin against his tanned flesh; light and dark, heaven and hell, however you wished to view it. He felt a wave of desire rise from the pit of his stomach as a shiver coursed through him; desire for this man sitting next to him, who was touching him. His whole body seemed to resonate with the feelings rushing through him, like a song swelling, a song entirely to do with the person so close to him. His soul seemed to sing at being so near to this person and a clawing demand deep inside his groin was becoming stronger as his whole body seemed to want to throw itself into Yuki's embrace and be devoured.

The pure intensity of his bodily reactions completely overwhelmed him as his mind frantically tried to reassert control, forcing its will on his limbs once more, fighting for every step of the way. Finally it wrested control from the physical and Shuichi couldn't stop the gasp that escaped him at that final win and his hand jerked away, slipping from under Yuki's grip, pushing him hard back against the arm of the couch behind him. He watched as the cup fell from the loose grip that Yuki had had now that his own hand was no longer part of that joined clasp.

He saw the cup fall as though in slow motion yet unable to even try and prevent the disaster that was about to come. The cup hit the floor and shattered, pieces of china skittering across the wooden boards under the table and couch, and the last portion of coffee that had been in the bottom now spattered over the floor leaving a liquid sheen. Shuichi still couldn't move, staying motionless where he was, still apart from the small quick pants escaping his lips as he continued to try and fully control his own body. He felt that he was at war with himself and he wasn't certain who would be the victor just yet. But what he did know for certain was that he was terrified that if his body won the battle, he would be completely lost.

"I'll get a cloth," Yuki's voice reached through his tumbled thoughts and he felt the couch dip as the other man stood. "Don't move or you might cut yourself."

He heard the sound of the other's footsteps recede, followed by the sound of doors opening and closing, but he could do nothing except remain staring at the destruction at his feet. The broken cup seemed to resemble too closely how his own soul felt; seeming to be whole, until the slightest accident caused it to shatter into pieces.

Yuki's crouched form cut across his view. He saw the man carefully picking up the broken pieces, placing them on the table, before mopping up the liquid. Shuichi struggled to get some words out. He had to say something. "I'm sorry about that," he managed to say. "I didn't realize that you weren't holding it." He couldn't tell Yuki that he had been so terrified by his touch and what he had been thinking that that is why he had dropped it.

"It doesn't matter," Yuki replied, standing and returning the sodden cloth to the kitchen, tossing the broken pieces into the bin as he passed by.

Yuki kept his face turned away from the youth sitting in his living room as he re-boiled the water, fighting back the tears as well as the anger that was threatening to break free. He didn't know whether to crush the boy to him in a fierce hug, or scream at him for his erratic behaviour. What the hell was going on in that head of his! Yuki cursed to himself under his breath, refusing to acknowledge the pain that felt like it was tearing his heart apart. He said he remembered about them, about them being together. Everything Shuichi had said indicated that he knew all about it now. Hell, he'd told him that he loved him a mere hour ago! So why had he acted like he thought he was going to be raped and killed on the spot! He wasn't a monster!

His hand froze in the act of pouring the water as his thoughts ground to a frightening halt. Did…did Shuichi think he was a monster? Now that he remembered everything, did he think that only a monster could have hurt him so much for so long? The hot water reached the rim of the cup and spilled over, running across the bench top. Yuki was completely heedless to it. Was Shuichi frightened of him, afraid of what he might do? Was he a monster?

The touch of hot liquid dripping onto his bare foot brought him rudely back to what he was doing. "SHIT!" he swore, dropping the pot into the sink with a loud clatter and jumping back from the growing puddle that steamed around his feet.

"What's wrong, Eiri! Are you all right?" Shuichi's concerned voice rose from the living area as he continued to mutter under his breathe at his own stupidity. Suddenly the youth was there next to him, worry etched on his face, looking at the resultant mess that had literally spilled across the kitchen.

He saw the corner of the youth's mouth twitch and frowned at him. "Don't even think of saying anything!" he warned him in a low voice as he snatched up a couple of towels and dropped them without ceremony to the floor to sop up the water there before turning to the overflowing cups.

"I wouldn't dream of it," he heard Shuichi reply behind him, but there was laughter certainly bubbling in the voice.

Yuki couldn't help the growl that rose from his chest as he gingerly maneuvered the cups into the sink with more than one scalded finger for his troubles. Finally, with Shuichi's assistance, he managed to get his kitchen back to normal. By this time Shuichi was grinning at him openly. "I thought I told you not to say anything," he frowned at the boy as he tried again to make them the promised cups of fresh coffee.

Shuichi tried to look innocent but the mischief twinkling in his eyes belied the expression, "But I haven't," he protested, "Not a word has passed my lips!"

"Humph!" Yuki snorted, "It doesn't have to! I can tell very well what you are thinking. You're so easy to read."

"Oh, really!"

"Yeah. Anyone with the brain the size of a hamster is!"

"Yuuki!" The familiar wail went up. Oh, yes, that was his Shuichi all right, as he winced as the decibels rose.

"Shut up!" he roared back, cutting across it. "I thought you promised you weren't going to do that anymore!"

Shuichi smirked back at him, not a sign of contrition on his face. He quirked an eyebrow at Yuki, "Gets your attention, doesn't it?"

Why, the little…..Yuki couldn't even think the words as he just stared at the young man before him. He was suddenly struck once again by the changes he could see. It was definitely Shuichi standing there and in some ways he hadn't changed that much from when he had met him in Quebec, but the changes were still….jarring. It wasn't just the hair, both style and colour, or the clothes, or the slight disfigurements that his scrutinizing eye could see so clearly, like the broken cheek bone.

No, he decided, it wasn't any of those things. It was the eyes. Shuichi's eyes may have been the same deep amethyst colour that he found completely beguiling even now, but there were shadows in those eyes, shadows that he had never seen before. And what bothered him the most was that he didn't know what those shadows were, where they had come from, or what they heralded. He hated those shadows. Not only did they mar those wondrous eyes, but they had been created during a time that he knew nothing about. He didn't know those shadows, and he hated the thought that there was any part of Shuichi that he didn't know about and that was kept secret from him.

"Ah, Eiri," Shuichi said at his elbow, nodding towards the bench. "You'd better watch what you're doing or you're going to have the same problem!"

Yuki turned to see the pot boiling violently and quickly pulled it from the heat, before concentrating and this time managing to fill both mugs without mishap. He handed one to Shuichi who took it and turned to return to the living room.

"Sorry about the cup," the youth said, sitting down. "I'll replace it."

"Don't worry about it," Yuki replied, sitting next to him. "I've got plenty of others."

Shuichi laughed, "That's true! You always did have a lot."

"Well, I need them,"

"Only because you leave them lying everywhere when you are working and can't be bothered washing them up straight away."

Yuki shrugged, "Why bother washing them when there are plenty of clean ones?" he stated logically. "They get washed eventually."

Shuichi just shook his head. "Sometimes, Eiri, you really are hopeless."

Yuki scowled at him, "Am not,"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

This time Shuichi's laugh was much brighter and louder. "We are such a pair of idiots!" he said almost fondly.

"Speak for yourself!" Yuki growled taking another swallow of his drink, although he, too, felt better from that little interchange.

Shuichi just grinned back, "So are you sure I can't replace it?"

"Yeah, it wasn't even one that I liked."

"Well, okay then," He took a drink from his cup, "By the way," and he dug his hand into his jacket pocket, pulling it out and opening it before Yuki. "Thank you for this," he said in a soft gentle voice. The gold glittered in the light as it lay nestled in the palm of his hand.

Yuki felt his face flush a little, feeling more than a little embarrassed. He didn't regret giving it to Shuichi, but he was beginning to feel just a little embarrassed at the way he had just blurted it out. He still wasn't one for wanton displays of the more softer emotions. Give him a roaring argument any day - that he could cope with. He snuck a glance upwards to Shuichi's face and was held fast by the warmth in the youth's eyes that seemed to wrap around him like two arms and hold him tightly.

"Would….would you put it on for me?" Shuichi asked a little hesitantly.

Trying to control his shaking hands, Yuki reached and lifted the chain from the hand that held it, leaning forward to clasp it around the neck of his lost lover. Shuichi dipped his head so he could fasten it securely behind and he couldn't resist dropping a soft kiss, so lightly that he was sure the other hadn't even felt it, across the top of the head beneath his chin before leaning back.

Shuichi reached up a hand and lifted the pendent, gazing at it with a small smile, fingers running lightly over the charms before looking up to meet Yuki's eyes. "Thank you. It's just beautiful."

"You're welcome," Yuki responded a little gruffly. What else could he say? I thought I had lost you. I thought I had watched you die. I thought you had left me. I thought I would die. No, he couldn't say any of that to Shuichi.

"You've made some changes to the apartment," Shuichi said, changing the subject before the silence grew too awkward.

"Ah, yeah," he replied quickly, grateful to speak of something else. "Nothing big really, just a few little things."

"Hmm," Shuichi's head turned and Yuki saw him look towards the boxes piled in the hall. "What's all that?"

Yuki's heart clenched again. He had almost forgotten about that in light of the startling events of tonight; Shuichi's things that he had so carefully packed up. Tohma had been going to collect them sometime soon. Now he didn't have to bother. His heart unclenched again.

"They're your things," Yuki said, taking a sip. That's right, he thought, we can just put it all back where it was. I'll have to tell Tohma not to bother coming round now.

"Oh," Shuichi hadn't turned back and seemed to be weighing up the amount of goods that must be in them. "So, I guess that is everything that I had left here."

"Yeah," Yuki responded. His lips twitched with a smile that the youth couldn't see as his back was still turned. "It's amazing just how much junk you still had lying around the place. You've got quite a collection there."

"I…see," Shuichi finally turned back, his face completely calm. "I'll get someone to help me come pick to up so it's not cluttering up you hall. You must have been nearly tripping over it up till now."

Yuki just froze. What..?

Shuichi continued speaking, a small gentle smile on his lips. "I'm glad you didn't just throw it out. Thanks for that."

But….But…Yuki's mind frantically raced. What was Shuichi saying? He was still going? He wasn't coming back! But…..

His mind gave up racing and just settled for huddling in a corner and screaming in pain.

"Hiro could probably give me a hand," Shuichi was saying, pursing his lips in thought, "Actually I could probable get K or Sakano to do it for me. They've got the key to my place so they can just drop it off. That's probably the best. I'll talk to them tomorrow." He smiled again at Yuki over the rim of his cup. "You'll have to come see my place sometime, I bet you haven't seen it yet, have you?" He gave a short laugh, "I can't wait to put all this stuff up now as well! It's going to start getting really cluttered soon, but I don't care! Come round sometime, we could have dinner or watch a video, or something. You know I can cook now. Well," he amended slightly, "At least I can cook a few things without burning the kitchen down. Just don't expect anything too fancy! Annette was the one who was a whiz in the kitchen, although I have to admit that you're better." His smile grew broader. "You do realize though that if you do come for tea I'll probably try to convince you to do the cooking anyway! Just to be on the safe side!"

Yuki couldn't speak. He couldn't make his normally agile, sharp, intelligent mind come up with a single comment that he could utter, even if he could manage to push it past the lump that was closing off his throat and making it difficult for him to even just breathe. Shuichi wasn't coming back to him. Why? Why? WHY! After just accepting his gift wasn't the ungrateful brat coming back to him? How dare he!

The anger churning inside him was threatening to burst into a bonfire, incinerating everything in its path and that would most certainly mean Shuichi. How dare this person tear his life apart for nearly a year, drag him all around the fucking world, make him experience emotions that he hadn't thought he would ever be capable of feeling and with an intensity he thought he would never survive! How dare this person think they could put him through all of that, rip his heart out and nearly destroy him, and then NOT come back to him!

Shuichi had stood and walked over to the boxes, opening the top one to look down at the contents. Yuki stared daggers into that thin straight back; daggers of hate, mixed with anger and most of all grief. He saw the youth reach in and draw something out before turning and returning to the couch with a smile on his face. How dare he think he has the right to smile at me, his thoughts grated out.

Yuki looked down as he heard the clink of the object that Shuichi had removed from the box as he set it down on the table. It was a cup; a cup that Yuki was very familiar with, Shuichi's favourite mug. He looked up into the youth's smiling face. Shuichi's eyes were gentle.

"I found you a replacement cup," the young man said softly, "Try not to break it. That way I know that I will at least have something of mine to use here still." Those eyes seemed to grow even warmer in their regard of Yuki, and he felt his hardening heart melt as the last of the anger faded. "I…hope I will have the chance to drink coffee with you again. Soon."

Yuki swallowed hard, "I expect we could probably find the time to do so most days. If you're free?" he managed to say.

Shuichi smiled deeper at him, "For you, I'll make the time," he promised.

Yuki felt relief now; pure, unadulterated relief. Shuichi wasn't gone completely - not yet. He might not be back fully either but he wasn't trying to leave him – not again.

He looked back at the mug resting on the table. It was like a pledge made between the two of them; a pledge to try and find a way forward just as the necklace had been. He looked up at Shuichi, drinking in those beautiful features, imprinting them all over again in his mind. He was back, at least he had that. And he would do anything he had to keep him this time, whatever it took.

It was time for them both to begin those first tentative steps on that path to the future.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings:** bad language

**Author's Notes: **Thank you to all the reviewers – it's nice to know that you are enjoying the start to this next arc. A sequel hadn't been planned at all, but it seemed that Shuichi and Yuki felt they still had something to say - so let's just see where it goes, shall we!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, they belong to the creators of 'Gravitation'.

Unlocking My Love: Chapter 2

Shuichi pushed his hands deep into his pockets against the chill of the night air. His slightly-too-large shoes (borrowed from Hiro) splashed in the puddles on the pavement, sending up sprays of droplets. The bottom of his pants were already well on their way to being soaked but he wasn't paying that much attention to them. He cast a wary eye to the sky above not wishing a repeat of earlier this night and being caught in a downpour, however it remained clear, not a cloud to be seen, just the glitter of stars.

He walked briskly down the street. He didn't want to get a cab just yet, he wanted some time to think and he normally did that best when he was moving. Sitting and musing usually resulted in him tying himself in knots and still resolving nothing.

He continued on his soggy way, letting his thoughts go back over the events of this night. Looking back at it he felt like he had gone through a lifetime of changes in the space of a mere few hours. From his feelings of depression, to his crushing fear and confusion over his sexuality and the resulting turmoil that generated, to his discussions with Hiro and Tohma, all culminating in that final, fateful meeting in the park. It seemed like that was more than enough for one person to experience at one time.

How did he feel about it all now, he pondered, splashing along, the lights reflected in the puddles shattering as his feet broke each mirrored pool with every step. He had been scared by those memories – really and truly scared. And confused. He shuddered as he was once again assaulted by those images, his body alternating between flushes of hot and cold as the conflicting emotions swept over him. He was still confused, not knowing how to deal with these new memories and sensations. Talking with Hiro had calmed him down a little. It had helped him distance himself from those moments, making him view it more objectively and give his emotions a break. So that had truly been helpful, but it hadn't actually resolved anything. All those feelings were still there.

Then, following close on the heels of those emotions, had been anger. He had begun to feel really and truly angry. The more confused he felt, the more uncertain, the angrier he grew. He had felt so...cheated. The more he remembered of his life before, of his time with Yuki, the more he felt how much had been…lacking since his return. He had been feeling quite lost, almost incomplete and he hadn't known why. Now he did. Which was a good thing, yes, but it had been so hard living with before. Now he had found what had been missing. And he was angry that everyone had wanted to keep that from him.

His talk with Tohma had been good - and bad. Yes, Tohma had told him the truth of his relationship with Yuki so at least he knew now that he wasn't going completely crazy. Those dreams he had been having hadn't just been dreams, they had been memories, memories pushing to the surface of his subconscious, demanding to be recognized. He had been glad to learn of that; it had been a huge relief.

However, the bad had been realising just how many people had been in on the deception, including Tohma. His friends, even his family, everyone he knew and thought he could trust had been lying to him all this time. He had felt a huge betrayal at that realization. But far the worst was that it had been at Yuki's request. That had hurt most of all!

He hadn't known what to think of that. He had been shocked when Tohma had told him, then upset, scared, and then deep down angry. He had tried to keep a lid on all those emotions, had tried to hold them in check until he could speak to Yuki in person and find out why he had wanted to deceive him, to ask him why he had wanted to make a mockery of their previous life. However, he had been completely unprepared for the gambit of emotions that had struck him when he accidentally came upon the man in question at the park of all places.

When he had recognized that tall lean form leaning against the railing in the distance his heart had given such a lurch that it had left him with a feeling almost like pain, and that feeling had overridden the anger that had been churning inside.

Yuki hadn't seen him at first. He had been looking at something in his hands. Shuichi had just stood there for a moment, torn between walking forward, and turning around and walking away. The anger was still there, deep inside, simmering quietly, silent yet still burning hot. But something else had kept him frozen in place.

He had watched that piece of paper, stark white against the darkness of the night, lift from Yuki's hands and drift towards him to settle at his feet. As he had leant down to pick it up, he had remembered again their first meeting here, and his mischievous streak couldn't resist rising to the surface and making that comment, "Zero. You've got zero talent".

Oh, yes, he remembered those words so clearly like they had been said just yesterday to him! How could he ever forget them? Those words were the start of everything; that scrap of lyrics the catalyst to what then occurred between the two of them. That meeting there in the park back on that night had turned his world upside down and spun him around dizzyingly until there were days he no longer even knew who he was anymore. He went from being an ordinary high school student with a grandiose dream, to something much, much more, and all in the space of that moment to pick up a piece of paper.

That time had been completely overwhelming and frightening, and little exciting; yet through it all there was one thing that he had been certain of, no matter how weird or strange it had been, and that was that he had wanted to be with Yuki. That was the only thing he had known was real, that felt real, and it was the only thing that had grounded him during that time. No-one else seemed to understand that. Hell, he hadn't even been able to understand it fully himself so how could he have ever been able to explain it to someone else! But whatever the reason; fate karma, destiny, whatever you wanted to call it, it was still the one and only truth that he clung to even now - Yuki.

He continued walking on his way, heading in the direction of his home, still thinking. So yes, he had repeated those first words. They had brought back so many memories and feelings of those early days; those first confusing meetings, the bizarre dance that he and Yuki had played out. It had brought a smile to his face as those thoughts came back to him again.

As he had walked closer to Yuki he had thought he would have found a smile on his face too, yet instead he had been forced to view the completely impassive features staring down at him. He could detect nothing, no emotion at all either on the face or in the shadowed eyes watching him.

His heart had tightened painfully in his chest again at that moment. So it had all been true - not that he thought for a moment that Tohma had lied to him about any of this, but this did just confirm what he had been told. Yuki had wanted the lie. Yuki hadn't wanted to see him. That's why the deception.

He hadn't known what to do then. It was too late to just walk away, he had started this conversation and there was now no comfortable way to just end it. What should he do, he had thought. Perhaps just say something simple. Yes, keep it simple and short and finish things up so he could then go and escape this now awkward situation.

So he had continued speaking, intending to maintain a polite distance in the conversation, not trying to be too friendly. He was just going to let Yuki know he had finally remembered everything so there was no longer any need for the lies to continue but he had suddenly felt the urge to go on. He had so much to say, so much he had to say - even if Yuki wasn't interested in hearing it! His intention to just keep it casual vanished as he couldn't halt the flow of words spilling from his lips.

He had hoped, hoped so much, that Yuki would say something to him during that time - anything. To say some words to him, to interrupt him, to apologise for the deception - but there had been nothing.

He hadn't intended to tell him about his break up with Annette. He still hurt over that, even though he knew it was for the best. No, not for the best. It had been the only thing he could do and be true to himself - but it had still hurt. Right at that moment he would have given anything for her comforting and supportive presence by his side!

Still he had blurted it all out, and still Yuki said nothing. Shuichi had felt his world crumbling again, the fragile picture in his mind fading away. Damn him! he screamed to himself. Damn you, Yuki, for bringing me back to this! If he could have found the energy he would have flung himself at the man and squeezed the life out of him. Anything to get a reaction out of the seeming marble-like statue before him that was incapable of anything remotely resembling emotion.

But he couldn't do it. He was too tired, too emotionally drained. He just couldn't cope anymore with all this. He had just collapsed internally then, completely and utterly defeated, his emotions folding like a house of cards.

He had been fighting to keep the tears from his eyes by that time, not wanting Yuki to see him cry. He couldn't have borne it if he had broken down then. Yet at the same time he couldn't seem to make himself walk away just yet. So he tried once more to speak to Yuki, hoping against hope to see something of the caring he had believed they had shared…or had all that been a lie also?

Instead of any such signs, Yuki had turned away, and before he could stop it he had found himself saying those words - those three words. He hadn't been intending to do so – he didn't even know where they had come from but there they lay, blurted out into the night air, to hang heavily between them. Shuichi tried not to have the mental image of those three poor little words swaying in the wind like felons on the gallows. He felt responsible for dooming them to this horrible demise they now faced.

Yuki had stopped after he had said those words but still hadn't turned around and Shuichi then felt a wave of unreasoning panic. What to do? What should he do! He couldn't take them back, not after it had been said. And it wasn't exactly a lie either but he knew himself he wasn't prepared for them yet. Why wouldn't Yuki say something? Anything! Why didn't he yell, or scream, or throw something at him? Where were the cold cutting remarks, the put downs? Anything would be better than this drawn out silence!

He couldn't take it any more then. The silence, the unknowing, the fear, the anger – everything, he just couldn't take it any more. He had found himself moving then, pushing away from the railing and running those few feet until he stood in front of Yuki. Enough, he had been thinking to himself. He had to have an answer, some form of explanation for what had happened, for what Yuki had down. He deserved that much at least!

Yet when he had fronted Yuki what he had seen had stopped him in his tracks and halted all words. The single tear that traced a silvery trail down that pale cheek glistening in the lamplight like a precious jewel, caught at his heart and stopped the angry words about to pour out. He had hardly ever seen Yuki cry in all these years. It was only at very emotional times that tears could seem to manage to break through the cold façade that Yuki generally maintained to escape their master's iron-willed cage. Yuki was not one to cry over nothing. Could it be because of him, Shuichi wondered, watching in amazement as the tear slowly wound its way to the tip of the sharp chin. Could he have touched something in this man after all? Could it be because of those words he had said?

He couldn't help it then. He just had to reach out and touch that beautiful face before him. The warmth of the skin under his fingertips reminded him of his dreams. No, his memories. He knew this face; his hand cupped the cheek, moulding itself over the contours in a well known gesture, moving without conscious thought. Yes, he knew this face, he knew this touch.

"Aren't you happy?" He had asked, desperate for an answer. He couldn't ask the question the way he had wanted to, like 'Aren't you happy to see me?', or 'Aren't you happy I love you?'. Did Yuki understand those silent questions he didn't dare utter out loud?

When Yuki had finally answered in the affirmative, he still didn't know which question he was answering; the voiced or the silent, yet Shuichi had felt a great feeling of relief anyway.

Yuki was looking at him now, really looking at him and with an intensity that made Shuichi's heart soar, even whilst it made it flutter with something akin to fear. He had felt himself relaxing a little though, all his tense muscles releasing as he basked in that look. The light banter following relieved him even more, the words and rhythm so familiar to him it was like being wrapped in a warm comforting blanket. Or the arms of a lover.

Then, when Yuki had held up the necklace, when the glitter of gold had cascaded downwards before his eyes and he had heard Yuki say those words, he had thought he was going to die from the happiness he was feeling. As that chain had been poured into his open receiving palms he had felt such indescribable joy. He couldn't remember being so happy, not ever. Not even when he and Yuki had first got together. This was a different kind of happiness, a feeling of coming home. Of finally coming home after a very, very long time.

He had thought everything was perfect then. He was so happy that he was having trouble even thinking straight and his ability to speak had suddenly deserted him. It had been Yuki that had taken charge, steering him out of the park, flagging a taxi down and directing it to his apartment.

Shuichi remembered standing there on the sidewalk, looking up at the apartment block as Yuki paid the fare. He knew this place, it was the same address, it was his home. No, he amended in his mind, their home. A silly grin spread across his face. Their home – it had a nice ring to it. He had liked it.

He had silently followed Yuki inside, feeling a little nervous suddenly and not understanding why. He should be happy to be back here, surely? Yet, as he had entered that room, he suddenly realized that things weren't the same, and could never be the same.

It had spiralled down hill from there.

Shuichi stomped along the darkened street, his steps indicating the depth of the anger that slowly and insidiously crept to the surface of his mind. No longer was it hiding, lurking in the depths of his psyche, now it was released and making itself known. His feet slapped against the wet pavement with more force as his steps quickened in time to his rapid thoughts.

How dare Yuki take him back there just to rub his nose in the fact that he didn't want him there! The bastard had not only packed up all his stuff, he had bought a new couch as well! How dare he do that, and then sit there acting as if nothing had changed? That nothing was different? The prick! The jerk! The fucking bastard!

Shuichi's steps were so fast now he was almost running, the anger fuelling his stamina. He ignored the splashing water that was sending dirty droplets high up his pants almost to his waist. He couldn't have stopped even if he had wanted to.

Damn him! Damn Yuki!

He ran harder.

When he had seen those boxes he had never felt so angry in his life. He refused to acknowledge to himself that the feeling he had actually experienced at that time was loss – a deep grieving loss that had made his heart ache. Damn the man!

Yet…and his steps slowed again, gradually falling back to a walking pace. Yet Yuki had sat there and just watched him, watched everything he did. He had seemed a little…nervous perhaps? Maybe it had been just as awkward for him? But if that was so, why had he bought Shuichi back there? What had he wanted? If he hadn't wanted Shuichi there why did they go there? What did Yuki want!

Shuichi breathed rapidly as he gulped in more oxygen to fill his starved lungs. He didn't understand any of this. Yuki didn't seem to want him, or anything to do with him, or even any reminders of him, but….

He had still put the necklace on him.

Shuichi's hand stole up to wrap around the charm nestled against his skin. Yuki had given that to him. He had told him that he was the key to his heart. Okay, it was a bit corny and something at any other time Shuichi would never have believed Yuki would have been capable of saying, yet…..

It had felt so right. Just then, right at that moment in time, it had been perfect between them.

Then reality had hit.

However Yuki had still put the necklace on for him. He hadn't asked for it back and hadn't even tried to brush it all aside and pretend it meant nothing. Something had been there. It must have been!

Shuichi stopped and took a deep calming breath, exhaling slowly, trying to release the tight muscles in his shoulders. Okay, so Yuki didn't want him living with him but still…what?

Shuichi tried to think through it rationally for a moment, trying to put things into perspective. Yuki hadn't tried to severe all ties with him, in fact by giving him the necklace it was almost reaffirming their bond - sort of. He glanced down at his hand, unable to see the scar wrapped around his finger yet knowing it was still there. He didn't know if this was the same as the rings had been but it had still been a gift to him. Yuki had got it for him, and him alone. You don't give a gift like that to someone you don't want to have anything do with. So just what did Yuki mean by it?

Shuichi shivered a little as a chill gust swept over him. Right, enough thinking, it was time to get home before he froze to death, he thought and called a taxi, not having long to wait before one arrived and he gratefully climbed into its warmth. Thank goodness for Hiro's thoughtfulness in providing him with some money.

So what did it all mean, he thought as he gazed out at the blurred scenery. If Yuki didn't want him to live with him but wasn't telling him to leave, what did that mean? He raised his hands to his head, tangling his fingers in his hair and tugging it in frustration. Why couldn't the man just talk to him? Why couldn't he just tell him what he wanted? Why the hell was he trying to guess!

Oh! He suddenly sat up straighter as a thought crossed his racing mind, seeing the eyes open wider on his reflection in response. Oh, shit!

He closed his eyes briefly. That must be it, he thought. Yuki doesn't think I'm into guys anymore since I was with Annette. Aw, crap! Shuichi grimaced now, recalling the clearly shocked expression on Yuki's face when they had first met in Quebec. So Yuki's having doubts about me, is he?

Suddenly the anger flared anew. Well, what does he expect! He wasn't there for me! I was all alone and I did the best that I could! What did he expect? Was I supposed to be just sitting around waiting for him or something? That would have been a bit hard since I didn't fucking remember him! This isn't my fault. I'm not to blame for any of it and I'm not going to take the blame for it! And to hell with him! He's the one who lied to me! And made everyone else lie as well! That bastard was trying to control my entire life - even worse than Tohma ever had! He had no right to just arbitrarily decide what he thought was right for me, just because he thought he might get embarrassed by it or some other such drivel. The jerk!

Shuichi stewed in the cab, the anger continuing to burn. Yuki had no right to do what he did, he fumed. He'd better have a damn good reason for it when I ask him about it! A real good reason!

"No, no, no! That's not it! What is going on with you today? Go over it again!"

Sakano's wail was punctuated by the shots K was firing off like an unholy chorus as the other occupants in the room just looked on wearily. It was hardly worth getting excited about as it was about the sixteenth time already this same scenario had played out and they hadn't even made it to lunch yet.

Shuichi glared back at the two demanding a repeat of the song they were currently working on, about to explode with the emotions that had been churning inside him all night and still building even now.

"I think a break would be more beneficial, don't you?" A quiet voice said from the doorway.

Turning Shuichi saw Tohma Seguchi leaning there, smiling calmly.

"Oh, Mr. President!" Sakano bowed, a little flustered. "Of course, yes, if you think so. Very well, everyone, break for lunch now."

"And be back here promptly," K said, fingering his now holstered weapon. "We don't want to be having to hunt you down now, do we?"

"Shindou, would you please come with me for a moment?" Tohma requested.

Shuichi followed him as Hiro and Suguru thankfully escaped out the door heading in the opposite direction with his friend giving him a silent thumbs up of encouragement.

Tohma led him into one of the waiting lounges, not back to his office as Shuichi had expected.

"You appear to be somewhat distracted today," Tohma said quietly, taking a seat.

Shuichi glared at him, an act that made absolutely no impression at all on its intended target until he finally sighed in defeat and gave it up as a lost cause, while the anger drained way. He pulled a chair out opposite and slumped in it dejectedly.

"Is it because of our conversation last night?" Tohma queried as the silence lengthened.

Shuichi squirmed a little. "Yeah, I guess so."

"You saw Eiri," It was a statement, not a question. Had Yuki already talked with Tohma this morning, Shuichi wondered. What had he said?

"I haven't spoken to Eiri yet," Tohma said as though in answer to Shuichi's thoughts. "I was hoping that you both would have a chance to discuss things first. I gather you have."

Shuichi was confused. If Tohma hadn't spoken to Yuki yet why does he sound like he knows everything?

"Shindou," Tohma said, then, "Shuichi," he amended, with a small smile that made Shuichi sit up abruptly in shock. Tohma /never/ called him by his first name! "It's not that difficult to realize what is troubling you. The only times you are ever so incapable of concentrating on your music is when you have an issue with Eiri."

"Doesn't mean I've seen him." Shuichi said a little sulkily, wondering why he didn't want to admit to Tohma that he had done exactly that. Maybe he just didn't like Tohma being able to second guess him all the time.

"Then you should button your shirt higher," was Tohma's even reply.

Huh? Shuichi's hand automatically rose to his collar, brushing past the material and bare skin to touch something thin, smooth and metallic. Oh, he blushed, realising it was the necklace and it would be visible around his neck.

He opened his mouth to deny it, to make up some story to cover up its presence, when Tohma interrupted. "Before you try and say how do I know that has anything to do with Eiri, it's fairly simple. You've never worn it before today; you've not been anywhere lately to have purchased such an item, and to be perfectly frank, it is not your style. It is too tasteful to have been something you would have chosen for yourself and I don't believe it's something Nakano would have either. Most telling though is that during the course of the morning at various times you have reached up to touch that item and in a way that denotes it has a very special meaning for you, and the expression on your face at those times is one that I have only ever seen you wear in relation to Eiri. Does that now answer all your questions?"

Shuichi scowled. Why was Tohma always so damn right all the time!

"So what?" was the only response he could make, surly as it sounded. He knew he was acting childish but he couldn't help it.

"You're angry with him, aren't you?"

"Yeah," There really wasn't much point in trying to deny it.

"Hmm,"

Shuichi glared at Tohma. "Are you going to tell me that I shouldn't be?" he demanded, almost itching for a fight.

"Not at all," was Tohma's calm reply, deflating him once again. "You have every right to be. However," and he cocked his head to one side, pining Shuichi with his steady gaze so he felt like a butterfly mounted under a glass casing. "Don't let your anger rule your entire thoughts, or life. You have a big tour coming up. This is Bad Luck's rebirth in many ways. Do you want to jeopardize that?"

Shuichi shook his head. No, he didn't want that to happen. They had all worked so hard to get to here and he now wanted it to be a great success, as did Hiro and Suguru. So, no, he didn't want to destroy all that.

But he was still angry!

"I know you are angry, Shindou," Tohma continued in a quiet voice. "You have things to sort out and there is a lot to be resolved between yourself and Eiri. But will you at least give him the opportunity to explain his reasons? Will you at least give him that much?"

Shuichi had been struggling with himself all morning. He had found himself torn between wanting to see Yuki again, almost immediately, to never wanting to lay eyes on the man ever. The extreme pendulum swings in his emotions was wearying to say the least.

He suddenly let out his breath in a deep sigh. "Yeah, all right," he agreed resignedly, "I will."

"Good!" Tohma said briskly. "Now have a break and try your best tomorrow. I think I'll have K let you all leave early today." He smiled down at the youth. "I believe it will be more beneficial for you to have a chance to clear your head a little, remember we go on tour in just a week."

"Yeah,"

A week, it wasn't that long to go and then they would be away for three weeks. Three weeks of not being able to see Yuki. Suddenly he felt panicked by that thought. That's crazy, he chided himself, trying to get a grip on his roiling emotions. Why was he getting so upset at not seeing Yuki for just three weeks when it's been months up till now and he hadn't seen him!

The image of Yuki's face as he presented the necklace to him swam before his eyes. Yuki, his thoughts said gently and a soft smile tugged at his lips. Who was he kidding? No-one obviously, judging from Tohma's observations. Now he had found Yuki he didn't want to be parted from him for three weeks. He was still angry, he still had many questions that needed answers, he still had uncertainties and doubts. But he still wanted to see Yuki.

He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. He would call him and see if they could meet for a coffee since he was going to be finishing early today. He turned his phone on and heard a voice issuing out of it immediately, "Hello?"

He stared at it in shock. He hadn't even dialed yet!

"Hello?" the voice said again, a little more sharply. Then, "Crap!"

"Wait!" he shouted, fumbling a little as he tried to get the phone to his ear quickly. "Yuki, wait!"

"Shuichi?" It was Yuki, he hadn't been mistaken! "Is that you?"

"Yes, yes, it's me," he said feeling ecstatically happy for some reason.

"What are you playing at?" Yuki asked sharply. "What's the big deal with not answering straight away?"

"I'd only just turned the phone on!" Shuichi said defensively. "You surprised me."

"That's not hard to do!" was Yuki's response.

"How….are you?" Shuichi asked a little hesitantly.

"I think I caught a cold."

"Oh. Is it bad?" Shuichi asked with concern.

"No. What about you?"

"I'm fine," Shuichi said brightly.

"Damn idiot," Yuki said gruffly, "You 're the one that was running about half wet and you don't even have the decency to get sick!"

"That's hardly fair!" Shuichi shot back.

"Huh!" There was silence for a moment. "Thought you were supposed to be working? How come you're slacking off?"

"I'm not," Shuichi bristled. "We're on a break."

"Huh!"

Shuichi could hear the exhalation over the line. Yuki was obviously smoking. "Why were you calling?" he asked.

"Ah," Yuki seemed hesitant to say. "No particular reason."

Shuichi rolled his eyes to himself. This all seemed so familiar somehow. "Yuki, you must have had a reason if you phoned me."

"Perhaps I pressed the wrong button!" Yuki replied on the defensive this time.

"But that means you've got my new number programmed in your phone." Shuichi teased even though he felt a little tingle of pleasure at that thought.

"Moron," was Yuki's only reply.

Shuichi rolled his eyes again. "Hey, Yuki?"

"Yeah?"

"Want to grab a coffee?"

"When?"

"This afternoon."

"You skipping work? Better watch it or Tohma will have your balls."

"Tohma was the one who told us to leave early."

"He must be getting soft in his old age."

"Well, that's Mika's problem. You'd better not be doing a touch test yourself!"

"Don't gross me out!" Yuki's distaste practically oozed down the line.

"So you're free?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Okay, pick me up at the studio at three this afternoon."

"When are you going to get a car?" Yuki complained.

"What do I need one for," Shuichi said mischievously, "when I've got you?"

"What am I, your personal fucking chauffer?"

"Yep! I think you'd look really cool in one of those suits and hats!"

"In your dreams!" Yuki snarled.

"Oh, you'd have less than that on in those!"

Shuichi suddenly flushed as he realized what he had just said. Damn it, he hadn't meant for that to come out like that! He couldn't seem to help it. They would fall into this comfortable banter and he would start to think subconsciously about Yuki in 'that' way! He didn't even know if that is what he wanted!

He held his breath as Yuki replied, finally breaking the silence. "You are going to get yourself into major trouble one day with your big mouth."

"I…I'm sorry," Shuichi stuttered a little, still knowing he was blushing.

"Idiot," was Yuki's answer, which sounded almost amused. "Let's take things a little slower before you freak out completely."

"Ah, okay,"

"So coffee is still on?"

"Yes, definitely!"

"Fine. I'll pick you up at three then. Don't be late or I'm leaving."

"Aw, come on, Yuki! I can't help it if I get caught up a little longer!"

"Not my problem." Yuki replied calmly. "Be there or walk."

"Fine then," Shuichi grumbled. "Don't you be late though!"

"What are you going to do if I am?" Yuki asked with actual curiousity.

"I'll…I'll…" Shuichi couldn't think of anything just at that moment then, "I'll tell Tohma that you confessed you had a huge crush on Ryuichi!"

"Whaaaat!" Yuki's surprised roar reverberated in Shuichi's ear drum and he smirked. Got you, he thought happily to himself.

"See you at three!" he chirped in the phone.

"Don't you…" he heard Yuki saying as he cut the connection.

He turned and left the lounge, smiling broadly now, his earlier troubled thoughts seeming to have fled. He began to laugh and was soon almost skipping back to the studio. He would be seeing Yuki soon. The thought pleased him immensely.

And even better – he had got the last word in as well!


	3. Chapter 3

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings:** bad language

**Author's Notes: **Thank you to everyone reading. I don't know yet how long this one will be – it will simply be a case of what my fuzzy little muse gets up to! And you all know just how weird IT can be!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, they belong to the creators of 'Gravitation'.

Unlocking My Love: Chapter 3

Yuki lit the cigarette and drew on it deeply before removing it from his lips and exhaling loudly, more a sigh than anything else.

He looked at himself in the mirror and grimaced at what he saw although he was smartly yet casually dressed, with his grooming immaculate, even though his hair was getting just a bit too long and falling irritatingly into his eyes. He flicked his head a little self consciously to clear his vision and watched the end of his cigarette glow red as he inhaled again. This was the third he had had in less than half an hour and it didn't seem to be helping.

He glanced at the watch on his wrist. He would have to go now if he was going to be on time. Another look to the reflection, a critical eye taking in the view from head to toe; it would have to do. He turned and reached out to snag his jacket from the bed, ignoring the other scattered clothes that lay where he had flung them, discarding each for one reason or another, and left his apartment.

He drove sedately to the offices of NG Productions, there was no need to rush as he had plenty of time and there was probably no point getting there early. He wasn't particularly interested in being forced to sit idly in the car for a lengthy period.

He pulled into the parking lot and commandeered one of the bays marked for 'visitors only' directly opposite the main doors so he had a clear view of anyone entering or leaving. There weren't many vehicles present; it must be a quiet day for NG Productions for once. He had made certain to park where there were vacant bays on either side of him. He didn't want some dickhead slamming open a door and scratching his beloved Mercedes.

He checked his watch again and saw it was only a few minutes before 3.00 pm. He still had a little time. He lit up a cigarette, knowing he was smoking more than usual but also refusing to acknowledge that he was doing so from nerves. He leant his seat back as far it could go, enabling him to be slightly reclined, and stretching out his long legs.

His eyes closed as he filled his lungs once more with nicotine. He had a place in mind to go for coffee; he had been thinking about it the whole drive here. It wasn't far from the studio and he was certain that Shuichi wouldn't have been there before. Once he had gone there with Tohma, but it was unlikely that Shuichi would have bothered finding it, and he doubted very much that Tohma would have let on about its location. Tohma liked to keep some places his own little secret, probably so he could go there in peace and not be bothered by other NG staff. It had seemed a good place for the two them to start out. It was really the only place he could think of on this short notice.

He had vacillated all day as to whether to call Shuichi or not. When the youth had left him last night he could barely choke out a goodbye, let alone any other comment. He had hung onto the door handle, watching as the young man walked down the steps and disappear from view, his grip so tight it made his knuckles hurt. He had kept his mouth clamped shut tightly, holding back the words he had wanted to call out, that threatened to be spilt and shatter his composure completely. He had bitten back on those words so hard that his jaw had ached with the effort.

When he had finally forced himself to step back and close the door - long after all sign of Shuichi had vanished - he had just stood there, both hands resting before him, palms pressed flat against the wood as his entire body had shook. Damn it, he cursed to himself. Damn him!

He had turned and rested his back against the closed door, taking deep ragged breaths over and over. His eyes lit upon the stacked boxes that now seemed to scream accusingly at him for his betrayal. He should never have done it. He should never have packed that stuff up! When Shuichi had so calmly accepted their presence, had even quickly been able to plan how to go about collecting and taking them away, Yuki had almost wanted to hit him his anger had been that fierce. What the hell had Shuichi been thinking! Was he trying to drive him mad? Was he testing him?

No, no, he didn't think Shuichi was that devious. Tohma would perhaps do something like that, but not Shu. No, it wasn't to get back at him. At least…he didn't think so.

That was when it had hit him with a force so hard it had sent him sliding to the floor as he stared out unseeing into the room before him. That was when he realised that he didn't know anymore. He didn't know what Shuichi was thinking, he couldn't second guess him as he once had. He had no idea any more what Shuichi Shindou was thinking or even what he was like.

That thought had crashed over him and brought with it a feeling of terror like he couldn't recall ever feeling before. He hadn't realised just how much he had come to rely on that intimate certainty he had had that he knew Shuichi's every thought and belief. That certainty was what had convinced him of Shuichi's devotion back at the start of the relationship. No matter what Shuichi did he always had the certainty that nothing had changed in relation to the youth's feelings for him. That knowledge was just something he knew; something he knew that, without a doubt, wouldn't change.

That is how, over the time they had been together, he knew what Shuichi was thinking and how he would react to things. In some ways Yuki knew that he could manipulate his young partner through this knowledge, wind him up to get the desired results; whether it was for some peace of mind, food, beer, cigarettes…or sex. It wasn't all one-sided though, Shuichi could play the game as well - as Yuki knew - but that is what it was about. That close familiarity of each other, with all the weaknesses and strengths, habits and behaviours, as they became immersed in the other.

Now…..now he couldn't do that. This Shuichi wasn't the same one he knew. He was - but now there were different facets to his personality that Yuki didn't know, and couldn't predict. This Shuichi didn't react to things he said and did in the way his previous Shuichi would have. His Shu, upon seeing the boxes packed up, would have burst into a tirade of angry words at Yuki's unfeeling actions and cried a fountain of tears, whilst clinging to him tightly and wiping his snotty nose over his shirt. That is what his Shuichi would have done.

Not simply say thank you and leave.

He had sat there on the floor for many hours after Shuichi's departure, unmoving, silent. Sat there till the light of dawn had first touched the horizon. He might have slept a little during that time but he had no way of knowing for certain so unaware of his surroundings he had been. He had finally roused himself when his body insisted that he attend to its natural functions. After going to the bathroom he made some strong coffee, immediately lighting a cigarette even though his stomach protested the abuse this early. He couldn't even bring himself to take his myriad of medications lined up on the counter. He had spent the morning hours just drinking coffee, though more cups were left to go cold than consumed, and watching the ashtray before him slowly fill with the discarded stubs.

His hand had reached for his phone on the table before him a number of times before finally garnering the courage to ring NG Productions to obtain Shuichi's cell phone number. The staff there fully knew who he was and so immediately gave it to him, but after receiving it he still couldn't bring himself to call. The mere thought was almost paralyzing.

He continued to smoke, mulling over lukewarm coffee as the sun continued to climb in the sky. What if Shuichi didn't want to see him? They had seemed to part on good enough terms, but what if he had woken up this morning and decided that it had all been a mistake and he didn't want to go back to the way things were?

Shuichi wasn't a young kid anymore; gone was the gawky teenager he had first met, this Shuichi was an adult. For the first time Yuki realized that he was truly seeing him as an equal. Shuichi had proven he could look after himself. He had managed in North America, combating and overcoming language and cultural difficulties, and still managing to not only survive, but actually thrive. He had managed to build a real life for himself over there, a life full of potential. He hadn't fallen to pieces and messed everything up.

Shuichi was one of those people who others were naturally drawn to and they couldn't do anything but assist him, but that was only because it was his own honest and open personality that attracted them to him in the first place. The most important thing about that was that Shuichi always knew how to make the most of that help offered, nothing was ever brushed aside or discounted. He was not one to sit idly and do nothing, just waiting for it to happen for him. Despite his seemingly ditzy attitude much of the time, Shuichi actually was a real 'go-getter'. If it was something he wanted, he made certain to get out there and obtain it.

Now Yuki realized that Shuichi had really grown up whilst they had been apart, and he couldn't help but fear that this new competent adult Shuichi no longer needed him in his life. That thought chilled him right through to the bone. If Shuichi no longer needed him to be the adult in their relationship, why would he want to be with him?

He clasped his fingers tightly around the phone still in his hands from the last call to NG. He couldn't just let him go - not again! Too many times in the past year he had been left to trail on the sidelines watching Shuichi walk blithely on his way, completely unaware of his presence and need to be with him. For too long he had been forced to watch Shuichi continue on with his life without Yuki a part of it. He had been left hiding in the shadows like some lurking beast – or monster from the past. He didn't want to do that anymore. He wanted to come out of the shadows, to stand in the sun with Shuichi by his side. He wanted to see that bright smile directed at him and him alone, the eyes that could show such passion and joy to only see him. He wouldn't stand back anymore. He just couldn't do it. It hurt too damn much!

Another thought suddenly came to him with startling clarity as he sat there. Is this how Shuichi had felt all that time ago, back at the beginnings of their relationship? Was this burning uncertainty and doubt about his place in his partner's life that ate away at his soul like a ravenous creature - was this what Shuichi had been feeling all that time?

Yuki felt almost physically ill, so much so that he was forced to swallow forcibly three times in an attempt to keep the bile down that was trying to force itself up from his stomach. Now he felt he could understand Shuichi a little better from back then. Was it any wonder that Shuichi kept chasing him, kept pushing, never letting him go away no matter what he did? How had he been able to stand this devastating feeling that seemed to try and rob all life from your heart and very soul? How had the youth tolerated it for so long and still been able to smile? How had he even known that there would ever come a time when he would find a reprieve from this crushing weight that you could barely find the strength to stand against?

Yuki's hands shook as a single burning tear slipped from one eye and traced a fiery trail down his skin. He dropped his head into his hands, nails nearly clawing at his scalp as he tried to stop the thoughts racing in his mind. How had Shuichi done it? When the same thoughts and feelings were driving him to the brink of insanity at a break-neck pace!

A tear fell to his cloth-covered knees and he examined the tiny spot of dampness that rapidly faded as it was absorbed. He couldn't let it end like this. He had to do something. If he didn't, he would lose everything.

Sniffing back deeply he sat up once more, taking another calming breath and trying to focus. If he let Shuichi think about everything that went on last night for too long then the young man might decide that he had a good life without Yuki in it. He might decide that it was better to not try and complicate things by beginning again with his old lover. Yuki still wasn't completely certain just how much Shuichi truly remembered. Not just in remembering the facts, but his heart and soul remembering the emotions that went with it. He couldn't help but wonder about that. Could he perhaps help Shuichi remember more than just the physical and tangible, and go beyond to the emotional? He wasn't very good with that side of things and he doubted his own ability in that area. Perhaps Shuichi would be better off if he didn't try to mess with him again.

He mentally shook his head in anger. No, that wasn't the answer. In some ways he selfishly didn't care if Shuichi was better off without him. He had tried to walk away once, to think of the other's well-being. He couldn't do it again. He wasn't that much of a saint! He would rather be Shuichi's devil and drown the youth in all the temptations, passions, enticements, desire and lust he could! He would not allow Shuichi to forget about him! He would not allow him to walk away from him again! He would fill Shuichi's every pore, every fibre of the other's being, until he could do nothing except live and breathe for Yuki! He would consume Shuichi in all ways!

He gritted his teeth as he began to punch the buttons on the phone, forcing himself to continue each time his hand tried to waver with new uncertainties, focusing on his burning passion which was almost close to obsession. He didn't care if he was obsessed. He /would/ have what he wanted!

He had been surprised to hear Shuichi's voice suddenly through the phone when there had been no sound of ringing. It had been as though his thoughts had conjured up their focus at his behest. The suddenness had thrown him a little, putting him on the defensive and his new-found determination had faltered. Fortunately, Shuichi seemed to take the initiative as he often used to before, and they had quickly arranged a meeting. When Shuichi had hung up, Yuki felt almost lightheaded with relief. At least he wanted to still meet. That was a start.

There was a tap on the window next to his head, startling him. His eyes shot open and he tensed but it was only Tohma peering in at him through the glass with an amused smile. He scowled, yet still wound the window down.

"Couldn't you find somewhere more comfortable to sleep, Eiri?" Tohma asked, leaning on the roof of the vehicle.

"Shut up," Yuki mumbled, raising the last of the cigarette to his lips.

Tohma's smile just deepened. "So what brings you here today?" he queried, although Yuki had the distinct impression that he had already guessed. His brother-in-law's propensity to accurate predictions was downright irritating at time.

Still he answered. "I'm picking up the brat." he replied.

"Ah, I see," Tohma flicked a quick glance over his shoulder to the main doors but there was no-one else in sight yet. "Are you going out somewhere?"

"Coffee, if you must know,"

"Coffee's a good start." Tohma said, straightening his jacket that had slipped a little from one shoulder.

There was silence for a moment as Yuki stubbed out the finished cigarette.

"What the fuck did you tell him?" Yuki finally had to ask. The question had been burning inside him since Shuichi had told him last night that he had spoken to his brother-in-law.

"Hmm?" Tohma said nothing more, just gazed back at Yuki with large beguiling eyes.

"Don't give me that shit!" Yuki growled, glaring back at his friend, confident and arch-nemesis. "What did you tell him!"

"Nothing but the truth," Tohma replied, completely unruffled by Yuki's tone.

"Whose version!" Yuki snorted.

Tohma tilted his head to one side and replied, "There is only one version of the truth based on the facts, Eiri. The interpretation of said facts is what may differ."

They were suddenly interrupted by a loud hail of "Yukkkkkki!" drifting through the air to them from somewhere above. Tohma looked up as Yuki peered through the front windscreen seeing Shuichi hanging precariously out of an upper level window, waving frantically.

"I'll be right there!" he called out and then the figure disappeared.

Tohma looked back down at Yuki. "I have left that interpretation of the facts up to Shindou. If you wish to contradict his version - that I leave up to you."

"Fucking meddling bastard!" Yuki snarled.

Tohma shrugged and stepped away from the vehicle as Shuichi came leaping down the stairs three at a time from the front doors of the building, only slowing a little when he recognized his boss standing by the car.

"Have a pleasant afternoon." Tohma said benignly, bestowing a serene smile on them both before turning and re-entering his domain.

"What did he want?" Shuichi wanted to know, opening the door and sliding into the seat.

"Nothing," Yuki snapped, starting the engine and pulling out of the parking lot. "You're late."

Shuichi pouted at him. "Yeah, well, you were obviously busy being entertained by Tohma to have forgotten the time!"

"I hadn't forgotten. I just couldn't get away. Otherwise you'd be walking."

"Then you'd have been bored on your own."

"Humph!"

"So where are going?" Shuichi asked after a moment of silence.

"There's a place nearby I thought we could try, so it won't take long to get there." Yuki felt a little calmer now. He had managed to push his irritation with his brother-in-law to one side. Tohma always managed to make him face things that he would much rather not and he didn't want to deal with it just at the moment.

"Good! I'm dying for a coffee!" Shuichi said, turning to look out the window. "It was a hell of a morning!"

Yes, Yuki thought, it was.

Yuki was able to park close by and they settled into a table just inside the door and waited to be attended to.

"So how come Tohma knew you were waiting?" Shuichi asked Yuki, leaning back in his chair.

"Huh?" Yuki paused in the midst of removing a cigarette from its packet. He then shrugged, completing the motion. "I don't know."

"So you didn't tell him?" Shuichi said insistently.

"Why the hell would I do that!" Yuki was so surprised by the question he could barely convey any anger at the prying.

"Oh, I just thought that perhaps you two were, like…discussing me?"

Yuki was glad he wasn't the sort who flushed when embarrassed, or when caught out over things. With his pale skin, it would have been impossible to hide. He wasn't about to let on to Shuichi that it was pretty much as he suspected and that he had been the topic of conversation between he and Tohma.

He finished lighting his cigarette, letting the silence lengthen. "Not everything has to be about you." he finally said, trying to look casual.

Shuichi let out a sharp laugh, but then smiled. "Yeah, sorry. I'm just feeling a little paranoid."

"Why?"

Shuichi raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "Why?" he queried, "You've got to be kidding, right?"

Now it was Yuki's turn to be confused as he shook his head. "What the hell have you to be paranoid about?" he questioned.

"Oh, how about just the fact that everyone I know has been lying to me for months? How's that for starters?"

There was bitterness in Shuichi's tone, thick enough to make Yuki blink and swallow hard before trying to think of something to say that could erase it and bring the smile back. However he could think of nothing.

Thankfully they were interrupted at that moment by the waitress. Yuki placed his order quickly and then Shuichi rattled his off. The waitress and Yuki stared at him.

"What?" Shuichi said, looking from one to the other.

"Care to try that again?" Yuki drawled, drawing on his cigarette. "In Japanese this time."

"Huh?"

Yuki rolled his eyes and clarified to the bemused waitress what Shuichi's order had been and she then left happy.

"What's going on!" Shuichi demanded.

"You gave your order in French. Idiot!"

"I did?" Shuichi looked surprised, then began chuckling, leaning back once more in his chair, one arm hanging loosely over the back.

"So what's so funny now?" Yuki asked him, tapping the ash from the end of his cigarette.

"Ah, I guess it all just sort of reminded me of us meeting in Quebec." Shuichi replied with a broad smile. "I mean, we've not got together like this since I came home so I guess I just fell back into the habit of thinking I was still over there. After all, we met quite a few times for coffee back then so this just sort of felt like another one of those times."

"Hmm," Yuki tired not to show the pleasure he felt at hearing Shuichi speak so warmly of their time together across the ocean. At least he knew now that he had enjoyed their meetings as much as he had. Perhaps coffee wouldn't be a bad thing to do for a little while. Like Shuichi said, they hadn't done it together whilst back in Japan; it would be like developing a new habit for them both to share.

Their orders appeared in short order and they both took their first sips with obvious relish.

"Ah, coffee's got to be the best invention in the world!" Shuichi said with gusto, smacking his lips.

Yuki quirked an eyebrow at this display, "You're going to be bouncing off the walls," he commented dryly.

"Naw, this is the first one I've had today. I've stayed with the soft drink."

"That'll rot your teeth."

"Since when were you so concerned with my heath!"

"Since I'm usually the one to have to put with your sugar highs!"

"Well, unless you're planning to move in, you don't have to now!"

They both paused, cups half raised, eyeing each other over the table.

Shuichi flushed and averted his eyes. "Ah, forget that, okay?" he mumbled, lowering his cup.

"Yeah," Yuki sipped from his before returning it to the table. "Idiot."

Shuichi let out a deep sigh and looked sideways at Yuki. "You know," he began, one hand fiddling with the table ornaments before him. "This is sort of awkward, yet...it feels comfortable to." He flashed a quick grin. "Weird, isn't it?"

"You always were," Yuki said bluntly.

Shuichi stuck his tongue out and Yuki frowned back. "For someone who is supposed to be an adult, you still act like a brat!" he said evenly.

Shuichi laughed. "I just like to see what reaction I get!" he said happily. He stretched his arms up then, reaching for the blue sky above them, head thrown back and eyes closed, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

Yuki could see the shadow on his face from the broken cheek bone and as Shuichi dropped his arms, reaching behind to lift his hair away from his collar, he glimpsed again the puckered scars running down the side of his neck. What did Shuichi really feel about those imperfections, Yuki wondered.

"How are you settling in?" he asked, lighting another cigarette. His hands needed something do so as to prevent them from reaching out to tangle in that silky hair and drawing that attractive face closer to be kissed.

"It's been okay," Shuichi said, playing with the sugar bowl. "I've been pretty busy since getting back. Firstly with getting used to singing again and working with the band, then with working towards this next album. Tohma's pushed hard to get this tour organized and finalized on time. I never thought he could pull it off."

"Tour?" Yuki's cup paused at his lips.

"Yeah," Shuichi looked askance at him. "Don't you read the paper or watch TV?" he complained, rolling his eyes at the man opposite him. "How could you have missed all the hype about it! Tohma's had it splashed over just about every medium he could pay to do so without getting arrested! You /must/ have heard about it!"

Yuki remembered that image of Shuichi on the TV a while ago – a dangerous, svelte, charismatic Shuichi, oozing sex appeal and yet at the same time complete unattainable. He remembered seeing it and feeling like the ground had fallen away from beneath his feet, that his world had crumbled completely and stolen the last vestiges of his long-lost love.

He hadn't taken any notice that it might have been about a tour by Bad Luck, though from what Shuichi was saying it must have been. Since returning to Japan he had tried to ignore everything to do with the band, and the few times he could not avoid seeing or hearing something about them, he had tended to be so focused on Shuichi himself that he hadn't taken much notice of anything else. It was then that it truly sunk in - Shuichi was going away.

"I remember seeing something about it," was the only reply he could give as he struggled to get his emotions under control.

Shuichi thumped his elbows on the table, resting his chin on his laced hands and looking mournful. "Geez, and here I was thinking that you had been pining away for me all this time."

Yuki choked, coffee spurting from between his lips and threatening to try and eject through his nose as well. Shuichi just burst out laughing, though was kind enough to pull out some serviettes and offer them to his still spluttering partner.

Yuki mopped at the spittle dotting his lips and chin and asked, "When do you go?" He hoped that Shuichi would put his rasping voice down to his recent attack and not due to trying to hold back the emotions that were threatening to wash over him.

"Next week," Shuichi answered, tipping his cup up to drain the last of the beverage.

That soon. Yuki felt his heart plummet, coming to a halt somewhere in the vicinity of his shoes. Shuichi was going – again.

"We're going to be gone some time," Shuichi continued, "but it should be great!"

Yuki saw Shuichi's eyes begin to sparkle, their old fire and excitement burning brightly. He really did almost look like his old self for a moment. If you ignored the new hairstyle, clothes, and thinner features. Who was he kidding? Get over it and get on with it, he berated himself. Shuichi was different, so just accept the changes and work out what you are going to do now.

"How long are you going to be away?" he asked, watching his coffee cool.

"Oh, a while. Tohma's made this one pretty extensive and it's going to be a real killer! He wants to make certain that everywhere knows that Bad Luck is back – and with a vengeance!" Shuichi actually looked very happy about it, obviously the thought of the amount of stress and exhaustion that would go with such a lengthy tour was not enough of a deterrent to drown out his enthusiasm for what was to come.

Yuki opened his mouth to say something, the words hovering there on the tip of his tongue to demand that Shuichi not go, to not leave him. But he couldn't utter them. He didn't have the right to stop him from leaving. This was his life, his livelihood. What did Yuki have to offer him in return? Nothing. Even his avowal of undying love was worth nothing compared to that. He had nothing to give to Shuichi that could possibly make him leave all that he had worked so hard to rebuild behind him. He had no right to try and even make him stay.

"It will probably be a little lonely at times, you know," Shuichi said in a quieter voice. "This will be the first time for me to be away from my family since coming home, and away from here. I know that Hiro and Suguru, as well as Sakano and K will be with me so I won't be entirely on my own, but I still wonder if I won't find it a bit lonely. And perhaps a little scary."

"You'll be fine," Yuki tried to reassure him gruffly, "You love this sort of thing. You're going to be so damn busy making a spectacle of yourself that you won't even have time to notice if you got lonely."

"You think?" Shuichi queried, turning his cup in slow circles on the table.

"'Course you will. Stop being a dumbass and get your butt in gear. It's not like you to mope around over something like this. You only brood over stupid things, not important ones."

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean!" Shuichi demanded indignantly.

"Just what I said," Yuki growled, pulling out another cigarette. "When it's something important, especially when it's to do with your music, you just get on with it and make it happen. You don't let yourself get down about it for long or dwell on what-ifs and may-bes. When it's something really stupid, like when you got your nose out of joint just because Fujisaki joined the band, you go all depressed and postal and anyone would think that the world had come to an end. You're just an idiot like that."

Shuichi glared at him fiercely. "Look, just because I'm not all 'calm, cool and collected-guy' like the famous Eiri Yuki, famous romance novelist, doesn't mean that I'm stupid!"

"No, you're all 'spazzy, ditzy and completely crazy-guy' just as Shuichi Shindou, the incomprehensibly famous lead singer of Bad Luck. Just goes to show there's no taste left in this world!"

"Well, thanks for your insightful input, Mr Arrogant Know-It-All Bastard."

"Anytime, moron!"

"Jerk!"

"Idiot!"

Shuichi suddenly pushed back his chair to stand and looked down on Yuki with a hard glint in his eye. "You really are a complete asshole, Yuki, you know that? What did I ever see in you?" and then he turned and stormed out of the café too quickly for Yuki to do anything more except open his mouth to try and say the words to stop him.

He stared at the vacant doorway. How had it deteriorated so quickly? He had thought it hadn't been going too badly and he had been trying to cheer Shuichi up, get him out of the morose thoughts so he could focus on his music. He hadn't been trying to pick a fight – so how had it turned into one?

Again he realized just how badly he had misjudged the situation. He was still responding to Shuichi as he had before. He was not taking into account that Shuichi was different in more ways than just the physical. He /couldn't/ keep responding to him in the same way or this type of thing would happen again.

And again.

And again.

Until, eventually, one of them would break completely and any hope of re-establishing their relationship would be doomed forever.

Hell, had he fucked up badly this time!


	4. Chapter 4

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings:** bad language

Author's Note: It is great to see so many reviews from 'TKTMH' – glad to have you all back on board!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, they belong to the creators of 'Gravitation'.

Unlocking My Love: Chapter 4

Hiro peered through the thick smoke haze, blinking a little as the inky blackness was broken intermittently by flashes of neon from the glittering strobe lights above. He pushed forward against the wall of flesh before him, heaving and shifting, seething in time to the beat that pounded up through the soles of his feet until it reached his jaw and ear bones and made them resonate in time until they ached.

He slipped between the bodies, head constantly turning, eyes searching. He couldn't see the one face he was seeking, but then knowing his friend he would no doubt find him in a dark corner supposedly holding up the bar, though it would inevitably be the exact reverse.

Knowing that, he pushed onwards, finally managing to locate the edge of the bar that had previously been almost hidden behind the crowd of humanity, and followed it around the room, smiling politely in response to the appreciative calls and whistles from a number of attractive females, and males, he passed but not stopping to address any of them.

Reaching the far end the crush was less here, as was the noise, in this darkened corner tucked away. There wasn't really the room here to dance, and you couldn't see the activity of the dance floor or DJ so it hardly held much interest for many. For that reason alone there were less people crowded here. However, here the corner was occupied with a different kind of activity; couples seeking some privacy for very different types of moves. He could make out three such duos pressed tightly against the walls, limbs entwined, and soft sounds rising even above the pounding music that filled the rest of the place.

He knew they wouldn't be going too far in their trysts; although that was almost part of the thrill, the edge of danger of doing such things in public. To see just how far the passion could carry you before common sense - or a bouncer - stopped you. To feel the body grow more heated, the blood pounding through your veins in a counter-rhythm to the music flowing around you. The feel of hands and naked, burning flesh in teasing, tantalizing touches, and the clear knowledge that you just couldn't do anything about it, you couldn't extinguish that inner fire, in this place.

He flushed a little at the thoughts running through his head. He wasn't by nature an exhibitionist himself but even he had to admit that he found the thought more than a little erotic.

He dragged his mind from the gutter and his eyes from the dark forms shrouded in the shadows, to let them flow to the very end of the counter as it abutted the wall. Sure enough there, slumped on the stool, head nestled on folded arms on the bar, was Shuichi.

Hiro approached him and although his glazed eyes were open and looking directly at him, it was obvious that he didn't see him at all.

"Hey!" Hiro shouted, plonking himself down on the stool next to his friend.

Shuichi blinked twice, very slowly, and then his head moved slightly so he could look up at Hiro. A big smile split his face. "Hiro, buddy! Whatcha doing here?" His words weren't exactly slurred yet but he spoke with a preciseness that showed the effort he was putting into speaking and forming any type of coherent thought, let alone sentence.

"You called me, remember?" Hiro replied as he reached out and picked up the partially filled glass that was before his friend amongst the cluster of empties. He sniffed. Whew, he thought as the whiff of alcohol hit the back of his nasal passages in a searing strike. He'd better not light up a smoke around this concoction; he was liable to end up a living torch with these fumes! He looked down at his inebriated friend. No wonder Shuichi looked smashed.

Although…., he examined again the empty glasses on the counter. They all appeared to be the same and didn't look like empties from someone else. The staff here were pretty efficient in clearing away once a patron had vacated a spot from what he had seen so it was probably a good bet that they had all been consumed by the bedraggled-looking form next to him. For someone who wasn't a big drinker and tended to stay more with beer than anything stronger, he had done surprisingly well - considering he was still standing.

He looked again at his friend sprawled over the bar top bonlessly. Well, maybe standing wasn't quite accurate, but his eyes were still focusing though no doubt he was seeing double, if not triple, of everything, and he was still able to speak.

"That's right," Shuichi said, making an effort to sit up, using the edge of the bar as leverage to straighten up. "I did. And you came!" He smiled happily at Hiro. "Have a drink with me!"

"You sure you want to have another?" Hiro asked candidly, raising an eyebrow. "You know you're going to regret it soon."

Shuichi looked about to argue when he suddenly hiccupped. He clapped his hands over his mouth and his eyes widened as he hiccupped again. Hiro eyed him warily, ready to dodge at the first sign of projected fluid that might come his way. Shuichi hiccupped a third time and his face went very pale. He dropped his hands and carefully slid from his stool, leaning heavily on the bar as his legs wobbled.

"I think," he said very distinctly, looking directly at Hiro, "That I need to find the bathroom."

Hiro rolled his eyes as he shook his head, slipping one arm around Shuichi's waist and flinging his other around the narrow shoulders. The smaller man leant into him letting him take the rest of his weight which was no great hardship for his taller friend.

He was able to maneuver Shuichi fairly quickly through the club, staying close to the walls to avoid the majority of people still filling the space. He wasn't too concerned with being recognized in a place like this. It was dark enough that people would have trouble noticing his features clearly, and with Shuichi's head hanging down as it currently was, there was no way anyone was seeing his face to place him as the lead singer of Bad Luck.

Which was probably just as well. He could just imagine the headlines if the press got wind of this little fiasco, and Tohma would kill them personally if that happened and jeopardized their upcoming tour.

They finally reached the bathroom, circling around the lengthy line to the ladies restroom to enter the door to the gents. Hiro firmly, but gently, pushed Shuichi towards the first vacant stall before anyone else could enter after them to commandeer it. Shuichi stumbled forward and only just made it inside when he was violently ill.

Hiro grimaced then turned his back and stood guard at the open door as Shuichi slid all the way to the floor, leaning against the porcelain bowl as he continued to be sick.

Finally the sounds of violent upheaval lessened and Hiro glanced behind. He breathed a sigh of relief to see an exhausted looking Shuichi leaning against the stall wall, tears on his lashes and looking very sorry for himself. He had fortunately managed to not make a mess of himself, not even a splatter, for which Hiro was extremely thankful. There was nothing worse than cleaning up a friend covered in spew – and he had had to do that more than once before tonight!

Stepping into the stall, he slipped both hands under an armpit each and heaved, lifting a limp Shuichi to his feet. His eyes fluttered open briefly and a single silvery tear fell from the lashes to trail down the cheek.

"I don't feel well," he said in a very small, soft voice.

Hiro had to smile at the pitiful sight as he literally dragged his friend out, leaving the stall clear for another. The person who stepped in threw a dirty look in his direction for the unflushed toilet to which Hiro smiled apologetically and managed to shrug as he nodded to the dangling figure occupying his hands. The other patron grimaced with reluctant understanding and closed the door firmly behind him, the sound of flushing accompanying its closure.

Hiro made his way to the basins and juggled the body that seemed to have turned into a floppy doll, to free a hand up so he could turn on the faucet. He didn't shove Shuichi's head under the flow of water, the size and style of the basin prevented that, though he was sorely tempted to try. It wouldn't have accomplished much except to make Shuichi very soggy although he was sure it would have made him feel better.

"Wash your mouth out," he instructed, guiding his friend's hands under the flowing water. "You'll feel better."

Shaking hands cupped the water and brought it to the face first and then after, to the mouth. He could hear Shuichi gargling before spitting, then repeating the action. By the time he had done this for the fourth time, his movements were a little steadier and he was able to at least stand on his own two feet instead of relying on Hiro to hold him up. A final splash over the face, damp fingers raking through the hair and swiping over the back of the flushed neck, and Shuichi turned to face Hiro once more.

Hiro checked his friend over carefully. Shuichi certainly looked a bit better but his eyes still had that over-bright sparkle of a person who had had too much to drink, and there was a slight list to his stance.

"Come on," he said, draping an arm over Shuichi's shoulders to help guide him. "Let's get some coffee."

Shuichi didn't move immediately. "I don't want to go home," he said a little petulantly.

"You don't have to," Hiro answered, trying to get him to move. "We'll find some where open, or you can come back to my place."

Shuichi still stubbornly refused to shift and Hiro was beginning to think that he would have to use force to pry him from this place. He wasn't sure it was best for either of them, and especially Shuichi, to remain here any longer.

Shuichi was still frowning and looking like he was going to try and argue further when he finally became aware of the sounds around them; not the sounds of the distant bass beat, but the loud moans punctuated with rhythmic grunts and the creaking of the closed stall door just a little down from where they stood.

The two of them stood in silence as these sounds surrounded them, filling the room entirely. It would be just their luck, or lack of it, that left them as the only two people in the restroom, apart from the unseen players. They were there, alone, unable to do anything except listen as the sounds increased in speed and volume, and intensity. Shuichi's face began to flush deeply, his lips parting as his eyes widened, finally recognizing and understanding, exactly what it was he was hearing.

Hiro had figured it all out not long after it had started, which had been just after he had dragged Shuichi over to the basin, and had been studiously attempting to ignore it whilst trying to get Shuichi to leave as quickly as possible. Now he could do nothing but listen, with nothing else to occupy his mind. He could hear the loud pants, the hoarse cries of what could only be pleasure and it conjured up some shocking images.

Well, not really shocking, but certainly more than a little disturbing, mainly because he would rather be with Ayaka and being able to at least act out in part some of what his mind was envisioning, than stuck in a public restroom listing to the sounds of erotic pleasure with no way for him to ease his growing, literally, excitement. He tried to block out the sounds again and prevent his erection from getting any harder but he was finding it difficult to do. He concentrated, trying to ease his mind away from the pleasure centres it was focused on. He wasn't able to make his erection go away completely but he had managed to keep it only half hard at this stage. He knew he would find it difficult to walk when they left, but thank god for really tight jeans to keep things in place sometimes!

As the sounds of climax echoed around the room, washing over them as the duet voiced their fulfillment, Hiro saw Shuichi gulp visibly and lick his dry lips almost nervously. His eyes flicked quickly to the still closed door from which there was only silence now and then his glance came to rest back on Hiro.

"Let's go, okay?" he said in a voice that wavered.

Hiro rolled his eyes. "Told you to," he couldn't resist saying, as he followed after the hurrying figure of his friend. The shock seemed to have sobered Shuichi up more than anything else could have for he scurried away with hardly a stagger.

They both, fortunately, were able to leave unseen before the participants of the impromptu performance were able to meet their unintended voyeurs. The two of them made their way directly out of the club and into the chill night air, taking a moment for their eyes to adjust and get their bearings. Shuichi looked a little green once more, probably from the impact of the cold night air on his flushed skin, and alcohol soaked body.

Hiro saw Shuichi shiver hard, and it was then that he noticed that his friend was still dressed as he had been earlier in the day. No wonder he was cold. The days may be warm and the studio kept at a comfortable warmth, but come evening the temperature dropped considerably. Why hadn't he gone home and changed? Or - and Hiro's thoughts paused - had Shuichi been there drinking since leaving the studio that afternoon?

"Come on, you idiot. You're freezing out here," He reached out to Shuichi who slapped his helping hand aside.

"Don't touch me!" he snapped, glaring at Hiro.

"Hey, what's you're problem?" Hiro was a little pissed off at this sudden change of attitude. Hadn't he come all the way down here to help him out? So why was he acting like a prissy drama queen now!

"Nothing!" Shuichi scowled, turning away.

"Hey, get back here, you idiot!" Hiro shouted, hurrying after him and reaching out to grab an arm.

Shuichi shrugged him off, spinning around and shoving him back forcefully. "I said, leave me alone!" and then he turned and sprinted away.

"Why that…." Hiro was too angry to finish the thought and just automatically took off at a run also in pursuit of the rapidly vanishing figure. Shucihi was a good runner and generally would have outdistanced his friend easily, but Hiro's longer legs, coupled with his intoxicated state that was quickly sapping his normal stamina, soon found Hiro just behind him.

Shuichi finally had to stop as a stitch stabbed hard into his side and his injured leg ached fiercely, enough to bring tears of pain to his eyes. "Fuck off!" he half wailed as he heard the slap of Hiro's feet.

He leant over, hands on knees, head hanging as he took in deep gulping breaths. His stomach was roiling and he had the nasty feeling that he was going to be sick again. The idea of Hiro seeing him in this state was suddenly very distasteful. He knew that in the past his friend had seen him like this previously, they both had been at various times. But for some reason, now, he just couldn't bear the thought of his best friend seeing him brought so low as to be puking up his guts.

Tears of anger, frustration and pain scoured his cheeks, and his gulping breaths had now turned to sobs. He didn't know what was wrong with him. Why was he behaving like such an idiot?

He felt a gentle hand on his shoulder and just at that moment couldn't find the energy to brush it aside. He concentrated on just trying to get enough oxygen back into his lungs and calm his churning emotions. When he felt that he had himself a little more under control he slipped from beneath Hiro's hand and stepped away, facing his friend defiantly.

He could see Hiro frowning at him but that only made him feel angrier. "So what the hell is up with you?" Hiro demanded, arms crossing over his chest as he scowled at his friend.

"It's none of your business!" Shuichi spat back. "Go home!"

"I would, except there's every chance that you'll be a moron and go and get drunk all over again and then call me – again!" Hiro's brows drew down even further. "I don't fancy getting woken up for a second time tonight!"

Shuichi didn't know how to respond to that, because it was exactly what he had done. He remembered calling Hiro now – and he had only done it because he had been feeling lonely and confused and wanted to be with his friend. And there was every chance that he would do it all again, exactly as Hiro predicted.

"Aw, come on, Shuichi!" Hiro said in frustration. "What's up? You don't get like this for no reason. What the hell has happened?"

"Nothing," Shuichi turned and began to walk away, limping a little.

Hiro fell in beside him and they walked in silence for a time. "Has it got something to do with seeing Yuki this afternoon?" he finally asked.

Shuichi turned to look at his friend, the anger building again. "Is my life the only fucking topic of conversation in the studio!"

"No, it's not like that!" Hiro tried to explain. "Look, I just saw the guy's car when you left, that's all! I don't even know if anyone else noticed!"

"So, what makes you think this has got anything to do with that prick!"

Hiro rolled his eyes, "Because you only get this damn depressed when it is over that guy, and you only call him a prick when you are really pissed off with him!"

"It's got nothing to do with you!" Shuichi stormed off a little quicker.

"You're right," Hiro called out after him. "It hasn't. But you're my friend, and if I can help I want to."

Shuichi stopped suddenly. "My friend?" he said, turning slowly to face Hiro who still stood about six paces behind. "Would my 'friend' have lied to me? Would my 'friend' have kept things from me, important things about my life that I really needed to know?" Shuichi really glared at the man before him, the anger getting stronger and stronger as all the rage and feelings of hurt and betrayal came rushing to the surface. "I don't think so!" he spat out, hands clenched at his sides in fists.

"Ah, so that's it." Hiro nodded his head as though thinking about something to himself. "So are you pissed off at me?"

"Yes," Shuichi hissed, "You and every other person who dared to think they had the right to just screw with my head, and my life!"

"So you're pissed off at your family? And Suguru?"

"Yes!"

"And K, and Sakano. Oh, I guess that would also include Tohma?"

"Yes! Every last fucking one of them!"

"So that would also mean that you're really pissed off with Yuki since it was at his insistence that everyone not tell you?"

"YES! I HATE YOU ALL!" Shuichi screamed out, not carrying who might hear him.

"Really?" Hiro remained calm. "Do you not understand why we agreed to it in the first place?"

"I don't care!"

Hiro didn't stop. "We agreed because Yuki didn't know how you would take being told that not only were you living with a man, but that you had a serious relationship with him. Remember, you were with someone else when he found you. He didn't want to put any pressure on you."

"I don't care!" Shuichi put his hands over his ears in a childish gesture.

Hiro ignored it and continued, "He didn't want to make you feel that you were obligated in any way to do anything. That is why he wouldn't tell you. That's why he wanted all of us to go along with it."

"I had a right to know!" Shuichi demanded.

Hiro shrugged, "Probably, yes. But we had promised Yuki. Until he said it was okay, or you remembered by yourself, we couldn't say anything. Anyway, what's the big deal now? You have remembered, haven't you? So why are you so pissed off about it all?"

"Because that fucking bastard has done nothing but play with my feelings, manipulate me, twist me into a psychotic mess, and lie to me about everything from the moment I first met him! I could never believe anything he said because I never knew when he was really telling me the truth or if it was just something that he thought I wanted to hear, or it was something that was going to get him whatever he wanted, or it was just something to say to fill in the time because he couldn't think of anything else! And he's still doing it!"

Shuichi was pacing now like a caged animal, albeit one that limped but Hiro just let him continue to rant.

"I go away, I get hurt, I don't know who I am or what I used to do, and that bastard still keeps lying to me! Over and over again, that's all he ever does. He doesn't give a fucking damn about me and what I've been through! He only cares about himself and what he wants. That's all he's ever cared about!"

"Shuichi!" Hiro yelled, cutting through his friend's diatribe, bringing the almost hysterical tirade to an abrupt halt. He could see Shuichi's face looking flushed, the rapid panting. He had heard the pain underlying the frantic words. He realized that his friend was feeling a lot more than just anger. "That's not how it was!"

"What do you know!" Shuichi yelled back at him, bottom lip quivering. "You don't know what the bastard is like! You've never like him anyway!"

"You're right, I have never really liked Yuki! So you know that I would never say anything about him that wasn't absolutely true. I'm not going to bullshit you about him!"

"Then you know what a bastard he is! He lied to me! He wanted everyone to lie to me! He doesn't care about me! He never cared about me! Even now I'm nothing to him!" The last sentence finished with a sob, that choked off anything else that Shuichi might have been about to say.

Hiro closed the distance between them, reaching out to grip the shaking shoulders with his hands, holding fast to prevent his friend from escaping him again. He looked Shuichi directly in the eyes, holding his gaze, trying to make him realized that he was being completely open and honest with him.

He had known that not telling Shuichi the truth right back at the start would probably not be the best thing, but he hadn't truly expected this kind of fallout either. He mentally shrugged. Who knows what was the right or wrong thing to do at that time? What was done, is done. Now they had to try and get through this.

"Shuichi, you are not 'nothing' to Yuki. Do you really understand just what he did for you? Just how much he went through to try and find you? He didn't give up on you. He was determined to find you somehow. Is that the actions of someone who thinks nothing of you?"

A glitter of gold caught Hiro's eyes and he saw the necklace lying on the outside of Shuichi's shirt. During the day he had caught the odd glimpse of this new article of jewelry but it was only now that he suddenly put two and two together and realized that it must have come from Yuki.

He nodded to it, still maintaining eye contact with his friend. "Would someone who didn't care about you give you that present?"

He saw Shuichi's hand automatically fly up to grasp the pendant tightly, holding onto it as though fearing that Hiro would snatch it away from him. He smiled gently at his friend, his features softening. "Shu, no-one wanted to lie to you, but we just didn't know what was the best thing to do for you. And that includes Yuki. Probably him more than anyone."

"You lied to me." Shuichi's voice was small without the force from previously, but still with a touch of bitterness.

"I know. And I'm very sorry. If you want to talk to me now, or ask me anything, I promise I will only tell you the truth, no matter what." Hiro vowed, squeezing the shoulders beneath his hands. "I mean it."

A cold gust of wind swirled around them, making them both shiver at its touch. Hiro realized then that if he was feeling cold, Shuichi would be feeling it twice as badly as he was wearing only a light weight shirt.

"Come on, it's too damn cold out here to have any sort of 'deep-and-meaningful'! Let's get back to my place!"

He grabbed an arm and dragged Shuichi after him, heading back to where he had parked his bike. He didn't toss the helmet to Shuichi as he normally would, instead placing it carefully in his hands.

"Hurry up and put it on. Otherwise we're both going to be frozen in place. And if you catch cold and ruin your voice, Tohma will have you singing soprano permanently!" He noticed that that caused Shuichi's lips to twitch a little in amusement which was a good sign. Shuichi hesitated for a moment longer, then complied and slipped the helmet over his head, before settling in behind Hiro.

"Hold on!" he shouted through the visor and started the engine when he felt Shuichi's arms firmly around his waist.

They didn't speak on the ride back to Hiro's place, which fortunately was short. Shuichi still didn't say anything after he had parked, or as he followed Hiro into his apartment.

"Sit down and I'll put the coffee on." Hiro began to walk to the kitchen. "Here," he said, tossing a sweater that had been hanging over the back of a chair towards his friend. "Put that on before you catch cold." He saw his friend struggle into the slightly too big clothing before seating himself on the couch.

Hiro looked at Shuichi sitting in his living room looking quite forlorn, and wondered what had happened earlier this evening. He had known that Shuichi had met with Yuki after they had broken for the day. From an upstairs window he had seen his friend approach the black Mercedes that he knew so well and slide inside before it drove away. It had been a little surprising. Yuki hadn't been around for so long, so to suddenly have him, or at least his car, appear like that was rather unexpected. He had had no idea that Shuichi had been speaking with the man again.

He had thought something might have been happening though. Today at the studio had been almost a nightmare to begin with. Shuichi had seemed to be in such a foul mood all morning but then had perked right up, a complete 180 degree emotional turnabout - which in some ways wasn't that unusual for Shuichi! But it had seemed that he was far more emotional today than he had been since his return to Japan so Hiro had guessed that something must have happened to his friend. However he hadn't known what, and had been loathe to pry.

On top of that they had been allowed to leave early! Suguru had looked completely shocked at the announcement and Hiro hadn't felt much different. This close to the big tour and Tohma Seguchi was giving them time off? The world was surely coming to an end!

When he had rescued a drenched and weeping Shuichi from his doorstep last night he hadn't known what would come of the sudden revelations that his friend had learnt about his life. He had guessed that perhaps he had actually spoken to Yuki that night or before work judging from Shuichi's behaviour today, but he didn't know what might have been said. Initially he would have said that the conversation must have gone very badly due to Shuichi's bad temper, but then he had been more than fine after lunch. When he had seen Yuki's car later on he had assumed that Shuichi had made a decision to at least get in contact with the man again so he had taken that as a good sign. Especially as Yuki had actually agreed to it also obviously! Miracles will never cease!

When he had been awoken from his sleep this evening by the call from Shuichi had been half expecting to find a bubbly happy Shuichi, all excited from the afternoon's meeting. So what had gone wrong, he wondered, stirring the two mugs and carrying them into the room. What had gone so horribly wrong to put Shuichi into such a state?

"Here," he said, holding one steaming cup out to his friend. Shuichi took it, wrapping his hands around the warmth and sipping carefully.

Hiro sat on the floor, back leaning against the couch by Shuichi's knees. They sat in silence.

"So," Hiro began, "Are you going to tell me what happened?"

Shuichi didn't answer at first and Hiro began to wonder if he would so he decided to try and prompt him. "I know the two of you met up. Didn't it go well?"

"I…at first it did, I thought." Shuichi replied in a quiet voice.

Hiro took another sip of his drink. "So what happened next?"

Shuichi shrugged. "I….was trying to tell him that I would…like to see him. That I thought I would miss him while I'm on tour."

"And?"

"He acted like a jerk!" Shuichi's voice hardened.

"How?" Hiro questioned calmly.

"How?" Shuichi looked down at his friend.

"Yeah," Hiro clarified. "How did he act like a jerk?"

"He didn't even know I was going on tour!" Shuichi finally voiced his hurt at this blatant ignorance of his life that Yuki had shown. "He had no idea I was going to be away or how long for! He didn't even care I would be gone!"

"Aren't you being a little selfish here?" Hiro said evenly.

"What!"

"Well, you're all mad because Yuki didn't know you were going on tour, but do you know what he's been up to lately? Has he got anything to be doing? Aren't you just a little too caught up in your own importance in thinking that he should know and remember every little thing about you and your life, yet you haven't bothered finding anything out about his?"

"But…but…" Shuichi spluttered a little as Hiro just looked back at him expressionlessly.

"Well?"

"Okay!" Shuichi finally said with a glare. "Okay, so he doesn't have to know everything about what I'm doing! But the bastard had all my stuff packed up in our place! It was all in boxes and he told me to take them! He doesn't want me around!"

"Oh, stop being a drama queen!" Hiro let a hint of exasperation enter his voice.

"Hey!"

Hiro over-rode anything Shuichi might have wanted to say. "Did you ever think that he just wanted to pack it all up for safe keeping? So if you wanted it, it was all there for you? It's not like he had rushed it over to you as soon as you got back. Doesn't that say anything to you? And no matter how much you try and bitch about him why would he have given you that necklace if he didn't still have feelings for you!"

Once again Shuichi's hand automatically closed over the hanging chain, almost spilling his drink over his lap.

Hiro just raised an eyebrow. "See, you know that meant something. It might not be completely clear just at this moment what is going on with the two of you but that means something. To both of you."

Shuichi didn't say anything, just sat there staring into his cup, still holding the pendant.

"So what's really bothering you, Shu?" Hiro asked softly.

Shuichi turned his head to look down into Hiro's kind eyes and his face crumpled a little. "I….I'm scared." he said in a voice barely more than a whisper.

"About what?"

"Everything."

Hiro reached out to the table before him and snagged his packet of cigarettes from the table, lighting one efficiently. "What exactly though?" he asked after he had exhaled.

"I," Shuichi looked away, obviously unable to meet his friend's eyes. "I still….care about Yuki. I do. But…." His voice trailed off.

"But?" Hiro prodded. He had a feeling that he had to make Shuichi talk this out or it would continue to eat away at his friend.

"I….don't know if I want to go back to….how it was."

Oh, boy, Hiro thought, taking a deep drag on his cigarette. This was getting complicated.

"In what way do you 'care' for Yuki?" he questioned carefully.

"You know," Shuichi said with a small shrug. "I care about him."

Hiro rolled his eyes. "How? Do you care for him the way you do for, say, Maiko?"

Shuichi looked at him in surprise, "'Course not! Maiko's my sister!"

"Yeah, I know that, dimwit! But that's what I'm trying to figure out! Okay, probably bad choice. How about…." He thought for a minute. "Do you care for Yuki the way you do for Suguru, or Sakano, or K even?"

"If you say Tohma next I'm going to strangle you!"

"Ah, no, even I think that would be way too weird!"

"At least we agree on something!"

"Well, answer the question, do you care about Yuki like any of those others?"

"No way! They're friends."

"Okay, so do you care about Yuki the way you care about me?"

"I don't care about you. You're a jerk."

"Ah, but a lovable jerk," Hiro grinned up at him.

"Huh!" Shuichi snorted, taking a drink but there was a matching smile on his face.

"Come on, Shu, tell me! Do you care about Yuki the way you care about me?"

"Nah," Shuichi said with a broad grin, "It's all about the love with us, buddy."

Hiro just grinned back. "If you give me a kiss, remember, I charge for tongue."

"Ew, gross!"

"Back to business. So we've established that you can figure out the difference between friends, and even different friends like with me. So how do you care about Yuki?"

"That's just it," Shuichi said sounding a little frustrated. "I can't figure it out."

"Do you care for him like you do, did, for…..Annette?"

Shuichi's eyes unfocussed for a moment as though looking inwards and Hiro waited until he came back to the present. "I…guess I do."

"Then I think that establishes that you care about Yuki in the sense of a relationship."

"Maybe," Shuichi reluctantly agreed, "But…I don't think I want a relationship with him."

"Hmm," Hiro leant his head back on the cushions behind staring up at the ceiling. "Is it that you don't want a sexual relationship with him? Is that what's scaring you?"

Shuichi said nothing and Hiro glanced over at him to see him chewing absently on a fingernail. "I….guess so." he finally admitted in a small voice, blushing a little.

Hiro hid a smile. It was so surprising to see Shuichi blush like an embarrassed virgin over talk of sex. As if he didn't know he and Yuki had enjoyed a well developed sex life before!

"Look, Shuichi," he said, turning a little to face his friend more directly. "You have to talk to Yuki again. Just because you are speaking with him, or seeing him for coffee, or even if you go to a movie, doesn't mean that you have to have a full relationship with him. That is something for you to decide, and only you can decide that. Don't worry about what happened in the past. You've got to put the past where it belongs and establish yourself now with what you want and make your decisions from there. You need time to rediscover who you actually are now. What does Shuichi Shindou like and want now? You've got a whole new life to explore and rediscover!"

Shuichi didn't look too thrilled by that prospect. "What if I keep remembering things that I would rather not?" he said, nervously turning the cup in his hands.

"So what if you do?" Hiro said bluntly. "Remember it, then get on with life! Don't let it bog you down!"

"But what if I can't do this anymore? What if I can't live up to being the lead singer of Bad Luck? What if I screw up this tour and it all ends in disaster? I'll have ruined everyone's lives! Yours, Suguru's, Sakano's, K's!"

"Hey, where did this all come from!" Hiro said in surprise. "Shuichi, we've been practicing for months, you are fine! You sound better than you ever did. Do you honestly think that Tohma Seguchi would even let you so much as stick your nose out the door of NG if you weren't ready? He'd bury you in the concrete foundations before letting you sully the reputation of his studio! You know that."

"Yeah, I guess." Shuichi didn't sound completely convinced though.

"Honestly, you'll be fine on this tour. It's going to be just fantastic. Just go with the flow like you always have!"

"Hmm," Shuichi leant back on the couch.

"So are you going to see him again?"

"Huh?"

Hiro frowned at his friend. "Shuichi," he said warningly.

His friend fidgeted a little "I don't know. I don't know what to say to him. I…was pretty mad when I left today."

"In other words you acted like a fool." Hiro stated.

"hey, that's a bit harsh! I was upset. He really was acting like a jerk."

"And you probably acted like just as big a one too."

Shuichi stuck his tongue out in response and Hiro just had to smile and shake his head with a soft laugh.

"You two really are idiots," he said, leaning back and relaxing. "But I mean it, you've got to talk to him again. You can't just walk away now. If you do you'll always be wondering about it; wondering if it would have worked or what might have happened or regretting that you didn't at least give it a go. Remember you don't have to commit to any kind of relationship with him. Just find out if you want to spend some time with him and see what comes of it. Only then can you truly make a decision one way or another."

"Do you think he'll understand?"

"If he seriously has any feelings for you, I bet you anything he's trying to figure out exactly the same things. Though he probably will never tell you that. Or anyone else for that matter. That man is such a stuck-up prick it's unbelievable!"

"Yeah, he is." Shuichi agreed with a tired smile.

"And you're a prize idiot."

"Hey, who asked you?"

"No-one. You never remember to ask the opinions of your betters so I have to give it for free."

"Jerk."

"Moron."

"Now you sound like Yuki."

"Gods save me, that's a fate worse than death!"

"At least you'd have plenty of women throwing themselves all over you."

"Don't need anymore than I've got, thank you. Besides, he's always had you throwing yourself all over him too!"

"Yeah, I used to, didn't I?"

"Yep, you did. But it was kinda cute."

Shuichi rolled his eyes in embarrassment. "I can't believe that I used to act like that."

"What do you mean used to? You still do!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Hurry up and give me another coffee." Shuichi thrust his empty cup at Hiro with a smile. "And Yuki makes much better coffee than you!"

Hiro just laughed as he made his way to the kitchen. Perhaps this night wouldn't turn out too bad after all.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings:** bad language

Author's Note: Thank you to all the readers for being so patient. I am not deliberately trying to drag it out or any such thing, but this time of year is very busy for me with business which also involves me being away a great deal from home. So having the opportunity to indulge in past times such as writing really isn't something I can do often. I do hope that you enjoy this chapter.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, they belong to the creator of 'Gravitation'.

Unlocking My Love: Chapter 5

"Things are coming to a head," K said. "I don't think we can avoid it much longer."

The three men who stood in the room were K, Sakano and Tohma, spaced evenly around the spacious office; Tohma ensconced behind his large mahogany desk, Sakano standing almost to attention in one corner and K leaning nonchalantly by the door. Of them all he looked the most relaxed, certainly more so than Sakano who seemed almost rigid in his stance.

Tohma tilted his head a little so as to view K better waiting for him to continue. The blond man pushed himself away from the wall and walked forward, speaking, "There are questions beginning to be raised," he said, reaching Tohma's desk before turning and perching on the corner.

Sakano gasped at this sacrilege and looked about to faint in horror. Tohma just raised an eyebrow to which K just grinned back, refusing to budge. Tohma let it pass. "What questions?" he queried instead.

K crossed his arms. "How're the love birds going to respond to Shuichi being away on tour?"

Tohma swiveled his chair around 90 degrees, crossing his legs elegantly. "Really?"

K nodded. "Yep. The vultures are suddenly beginning to notice that Yuki's not been around so they want to know what's up."

"Hmm," Tohma murmured, steepling his hands under his chin, eyes gazing off into the distance.

"So what are we going to do?" K asked, leg swinging, the only sign of any inner agitation. "Looks like we'll have to go into damage control."

"It was bound to happen sometime," Sakano spoke up for the first time stepping forward to close the triangle between the three of them, pushing his glasses up his nose.

"True," K agreed. "We've been damn lucky so far that we've got away with it up till now so I guess we should be thankful. We were going to have to face the reality sooner or later." He shrugged. "It's just a shame that it's all going to come out now right before the tour. I'm not sure that it will do Bad Luck a lot of good."

Tohma stood and walked to the floor to ceiling window, looking out over the city before him, his back to the others. "Arrange for a press conference tomorrow afternoon," he said evenly.

K and Sakano both looked at his straight back. "Who and how many?" K asked.

"Everyone," Tohma glanced over his shoulder, a wry smile on his lips. "I doubt you'll have any trouble in getting them to agree."

K looked surprised, "So what do we tell them it's about?" he wanted to know. "We'll have to have something to dangle before them so as to entice them to come. So what's going to be the carrot?"

"An exclusive interview with Shuichi Shindou and Eiri Yuki, of course."

K slipped off the edge of the desk in shock, catching himself at the last minute though Sakano was not so dignified, keeling over in a dead faint.

Tohma turned at the thud as Sakano's body hit the floor, the full impact absorbed by the thick carpet. He stared down at his comatose assistant calmly assessing his state and, upon determining that he had, and would, suffer no harm, turned to address K. "Be certain to organize things, and have Nakano and Fujisaki ready to attend also." He turned back to the window once more.

"Are you certain about this?" K queried, regaining his composure as he leant down to haul the woozy Sakano to his feet, supporting him when he swayed dangerously, still pale. "Will Shuichi and Yuki even go along with this?"

"There's a lot to do," was Tohma's only answer. "I suggest you begin as soon as possible."

K shrugged to himself, turning to the door. "Fine, it's your funeral. I'll begin working on it and get the word out. Where's it going to be held?"

"We shall host it here."

"Good. At least we'll have control over things to some extent then." K stated, opening the door. "It's going to be rough on them both. There's bound to be a hell of a lot of talk, you know."

"I'm sure they will be able to handle it."

"Okay. I'll let you know when I've got some idea of who's coming."

Tohma heard the door close behind him.

"He's only half right, isn't he?"

The quiet voice told him that he wasn't alone as he had thought. Looking over his shoulder he saw Sakano still standing at the closed door, the plush carpet had concealed the fact that only one person, K, had left. He didn't say anything and simply watched as Sakano pushed his glasses up in his habitual motion. He then stepped forward, drawing nearer, face serious and never taking his eyes from Tohma. "You've done all this deliberately."

He wasn't asking a question so Tohma just turned to continue looking out the window. In the reflection he could see that Sakano had stopped just behind him. "You've not just covered for the situation since Shindou was missing but also ever since he returned. That is why you were so insistent on getting Bad Luck started on this new album and a new image."

Tohma didn't respond and Sakano didn't seem to expect him to.

"While Shindou was with his family, when he first came back, you ensured that there were photos of him with them, as well as Yuki with his, sent to the media. It made it seem as though they were just having time with family after their 'romantic' holiday; whilst neither confirming nor denying they were officially 'married'." He cleared his throat a little uncomfortably. "I still find it a little difficult to believe that you did that to them although I do understand why. It certainly allowed for their lengthy absence to be explained."

He smoothed down the front of his buttoned jacket as he continued, "I also know that you put out an edict to all the press that if there was anything untoward printed about either of them NG Productions would blacklist them, effectively cutting them off from any exclusive details from there on." Tohma couldn't prevent his eyebrows climbing in surprise though he kept the rest of his features schooled. Sakano saw the involuntary motion. "I came across the email you sent." He explained, blushing a little at his audacity. "You had placed it in my archive folder by accident."

Though then again, Sakano thought, perhaps it wasn't by accident. Tohma Seguchi rarely did anything by 'accident', there was usually a reason behind every action he made. For that information to be placed in Sakano's data could be two things; one that Tohma had wanted him to find it, albeit eventually as it wasn't in a place he went to frequently, and two that if anyone searched for it through Tohma's folders it wouldn't be present. Either way, he would probably never know for certain which one it was.

"Of course, to be able to enforce that you had to indicate that there would be something else worth writing about. They would hardly just give up their livelihood simply because you asked them to, so you would have had to give them something else." Sakano absently played with one of his jacket buttons, twisting it back and forth. Tohma watched him in the reflection. If he wasn't careful he might just pull it off completely, he thought.

Sakano continue, "So that is why you recreated Bad Luck." He took another half step closer. "That is why you pushed the Bad Luck replays on the radio and TV, filling every available commercial spot that you could, raising their image and shamelessly promoting them to the exclusion of your other concerns. Even the time Shuichi was spending with his family you fed the media as being due to him focusing on his lyric writing and was seeking some peace and quiet to be able to concentrate on that. As soon as Shindou was back in Tokyo you made certain to provide photos of him working here in the studio to continue to present the image that nothing had changed. You kept giving them just enough crumbs to satisfy their hunger; no more, no less." He pushed his glasses up again. "It was quite masterfully managed I must say." His tone was one of admiration.

"But you knew that just that wouldn't be enough. As the months went by they would have been demanding more, insisting on more and their focus would start to come back to Shindou's relationship with Yuki, something you didn't want to happen. So you took things to the next level. You recreated Bad Luck entirely, and especially Shuichi Shindou."

Sakano licked his dry lips, unfamiliar with speaking for such lengths, most certainly with his superior. "There was no real commercial need to change Shindou's image. The fans still loved the old one, no-one had tired of it yet so things could have remained as they were. That boy-toy look was still very popular, especially with the female fans. However, despite your seeming indifference to what Bad Luck was doing and acting as though the idea came from elsewhere, it was really at your insistence that his image was altered."

"It was a brilliant move, it truly was. You knew that this would focus the media's attention on the image change and not on the fact that Shindou and Yuki weren't together any longer. Of course, you had also ensured that everything leading up to that had provided every reason for their lack of being together, what with the intensity of recording an album and the time it takes. The new image and push with the release of the new single leading to the album release was a very good cover. It explained nicely why they weren't seen as a couple and focused the media attention on Shindou almost solely, keeping Yuki safe in the background which would have been your main concern. Of course, with Yuki recently releasing a new book it also nicely explained the gap. It really did create that plausible belief that all was still well."

Sakano looked at his boss's straight form before him as Tohma clasped his hands behind his back, for all the world completely unmoved by anything he was saying, neither confirming or denying any of the statements. He was quite certain of his assumptions, it was all too neat, too perfect for it to be a coincidence. It had all the hallmarks of Tohma Seguchi's touch, that smooth, flawless motion. The only way it could have run so perfectly would have been at the President of NG Productions machinations. He pushed on. "You have been orchestrating this the entire time, a little here and a little there, all the time ensuring that it remained on track and covering the real issues. The release of the photo of Yuki attending Bad Luck's unannounced concert was a masterful touch as it enabled the public to continue to believe they were together."

Tohma's hands clenched a little. It had been more good luck than any design by himself that he had been able to do that. The club had had a security camera network, not uncommon in many places nowdays, and so it hadn't been difficult for him to obtain a copy of the tape from the night of the concert and capture a shot of Yuki being present at that time. The main reason he had released it was to try and ensure that it would deflect any prying into Eiri's accident that same night. That he didn't want getting into the papers. Sometimes even the gods were smiling on him and he was thankful for such small mercies.

Sakano paused for a moment then stepped up beside Tohma, reaching up to pull his glasses off, polishing the lenses absently as he too looked directly out the window. "It's all been carefully planed and played out as only you could do so. In fact it has gone like clockwork. Everyone has been protected and kept away from any prying and intrusive comments." He slipped his glasses back on. "But it can't continue any longer, can it?"

For the first time he turned to look at his boss directly. "That's why you've called this press conference. You have to give them something more now or the speculation will run rife, especially with Shindou heading off on tour. His absence afterwards, alone, is easily understandable then and it also gives Yuki a reason to remain alone for that time. But you have to give the media something more."

He turned full circle so now he was facing the door, back to the window, shoulder to shoulder with Tohma. "Do you think this will work?" he asked quietly, standing perfectly still.

Tohma spoke for the first time, still gazing out the window. "It has to," Now he turned his head to look at Sakano. "For both their sake's."

Sakano looked over and their eyes met. He matched Tohma's steady gaze, one of the few people who actually could. "Then I will pray for your success," Sakano said steadily with no mockery. "Mr. President," and he turned and bowed deeply and respectfully before straightening and smartly making his way to the door. Tohma saw him in the window's reflection turn and once more bow before closing the door behind him.

He took a deep breath, holding it for a moment then expelling it slowly, feeling the tightness in his chest releasing a little at a time. There was a lot for him to do; calls to make, arrangements to be made. He had to ensure both Eiri and Shindou would turn up for this process, which was not likely to be an easy task.

He turned and sat carefully in his chair, leaning back tiredly. Why couldn't it be easy? It should have been. The hardest part was supposed to have been over. He had so hoped that happiness would follow the reconciliation but that did not seem to be the case. He had tried everything he could, everything within his power without jeopardizing the people concerned but he had reached the end of his limits as much as he hated to admit it. It would appear that things had not gone well between Shindou and Eiri yesterday. He didn't know any details but the fall-out was rather evident, from Shindou's bad mood today as well as red eyes that betokened a drunken night, to Eiri's refusal to answer his phone most of the day and when he finally did his raspy voice bespoke of a night spent with drink, cigarettes and no doubt lack of sleep, probably just as much as Shindou - at least regarding the drink. Not a happy time obviously for either of them.

Another sigh.

Well, he had done all he could. Whatever the two of them did now was up to them, it was out of his hands. However, this press conference wasn't for their relationship, it was business – his business. He had worked hard to make NG Productions what it was today, a world recognized concern. He had done that by being able to recognize new talents; able to recognize, nurture and create something fantastic that would hit the world by storm. Bad Luck had been just such a creation and he wasn't about to let that go, not yet at least, not while they were still such a growing concern and had such a future before them. No, he wasn't going to see that thrown away. He would find a way to deal with the fallout of the break-up of Shindou and Eiri later but at least for the moment he had to keep NG and the future of Bad Luck as secure as possible, at least to get through this tour which was to re-establish Bad Luck's popularity. After that they would probably be able to weather most things.

He rubbed a hand tiredly over his eyes. So much to do but he just didn't feel like facing any of it yet. He reached out to pick up the phone. He was going to make another call first, knowing it was just putting off the inevitable as he dialed the international number but he just needed to have a brief break from these pressures, just for a moment, and he knew one person who could make him forget.

He heard the ringing and then the American voice answered.

"Hello?"

The ringing was irritating. So irritating that he finally had had no choice but to actually answer it. He knew who it was anyway.

"What do you want?" Yuki growled into the phone, making no effort to be civil.

His head still hurt, aching abominably, temples pounding. His eyes still felt gritty as though he hadn't had enough sleep, which was completely true, and no matter how many times he had rinsed them during the day they hadn't improved. Of course, the continuous smoke haze surrounding him probably hadn't helped any. His stomach gave another lurch and he clamped his teeth together in an effort to ensure that the bile stayed down for once. His throat was already sore enough from vomiting a number of times. He had stubbornly refused to take his medication this morning and his body was making him suffer for his pigheadedness. The last thing he wanted to be doing right now was dealing with Tohma.

"Now, Eiri, you know I worry about you. I just wanted to make certain you were all right."

"You've already called me, numerous times, so piss off." Yuki grated out.

"True," Tohma replied calmly. "But there was something else I wished to speak with you about."

"What?" Yuki was getting that itching sensation at the back of his brain that was like a warning signal. He only ever got it from Tohma. It was like a sixth sense, a learnt survival instinct from being around Tohma Seguchi for so long. He just knew that something was coming that did not bode well for him.

"I require you to attend a press conference at NG tomorrow afternoon."

Yuki couldn't even speak he was so dumbfounded. Dumbfounded that his brother-in-law even had the audacity to ask that question – though then again it hadn't been a question, Tohma had made it a statement as though he just expected Yuki to agree to it. Well, like hell he would!

"Get fucked!" he snapped out forcefully.

"There is no need to be crude, Eiri. I require you to attend this event. It is very important."

"I don't give a flying fuck what is important to your fucking business!" Yuki fumed, getting angrier by the minute. How dare Tohma think he could ask such a thing? Who the hell does he think he is!

"This isn't just about business, although it is to ensure that Bad Luck is promoted correctly. We need to lay a few rumours to rest before the beginning of the tour so it can all run smoothly. Shindou does not need to be distracted by frivolous questions from reporters about your lack of appearance in his life. This way we give them a small taste and let them go away thinking they have received a feast. How you and Shindou intend to resolve this afterwards is up to you. However, in the meantime, we are buying a little quiet time for all concerned."

"I don't care. Let the fucking idiots think what they want. They only write crap anyway!"

"Perhaps, but it is 'crap', as you so elegantly put, that millions around the world read and believe. All of Bad Luck will be attending so Shindou will be present also. I need you to put in an appearance and be completely civil through the function."

"How many times do I have to say this?" Yuki almost shouted, his headache pounding harder. "No fucking way!"

There was silence for a moment, broken only by his own ragged breathing.

"Very well," Tohma finally said, "You leave me no choice."

Yuki stiffened where he was sitting hearing the steel enter Tohma's voice. That was never a good sign, and wasn't usually one that was directed towards him. He wasn't going to like this.

Tohma then spoke in a clipped tone. "You will attend the interview. You will be punctual and charming, and answer the questions appropriately. You will not turn the event into any form of debacle, thus jeopardizing Bad Luck's current status. Is that understood?"

Instead of throwing another tantrum as he felt more inclined to do, Yuki just asked, "Why should I?" He managed to still growl this question out though he was getting a very, very bad feeling about this.

"Because you owe me," Tohma said in a flat, even voice that sent a chill down Yuki's spine.

Shit. Tohma was right. He did owe him – big time.

Yuki chewed on his bottom lip aggressively, ignoring the pain that was beginning to generate from the lacerated flesh. He felt hot like he was running a fever as his anger burnt higher but he didn't vent it. What would be the point? It was Tohma, and such a thing as anger made no difference to him at all.

And Tohma was quite correct. He did owe him, for everything that he had done for him all through his life but most importantly in his search for Shuichi. Now Tohma was finally calling in his marker and Yuki had no choice but to pay up.

His shoulders slumped a little as he let out an angry sigh. "Fine," he snarled, "I'll do it."

"Good," He was sure he could hear Tohma's satisfaction in that one word so with an inarticulate growl he slammed the phone down.

He took a couple of deep breaths trying to get past the rage. He didn't want to go to any fucking interview; especially not one that was going to be prying into his personal life! Because he was not so naïve as to think that it wouldn't. The fucking paparazzi were going to be out for the slightest bit of juicy gossip they could get so they could embellish it out of all proportion and plaster it across the tabloids. He would probably sneeze and next it would be that he was dying from new strain of rare disease! On top of that they would want to know every little aspect about his supposed life with Shuichi, a life that didn't exist. They would keep digging, keep questioning, gnawing at him like irritating termites, trying to get to the truth and Tohma was telling him that he had to cover that. They couldn't know the truth yet, he had to try and convince them that everything was still okay. How the hell was he supposed to do that! Everything wasn't okay! Shuichi didn't want him!

He picked up his mobile phone and sent it flying across the room to strike the wall on the opposite side in a shattering crash.

He stood for a moment longer, breathing heavily as he surveyed the broken pieces in dissatisfaction. The destruction hadn't made him feel any better it only added to his irritation. He was almost shaking with his fury as it continued to build. He didn't want to go to this event, he didn't want to be there, he didn't want to be near anyone there, and he especially didn't want to be near HIM!

He sat with a thump and clasped his shaking hands together tightly, squeezing until he felt bones grind beneath his grip. Fuck it! Fucking shit! He cursed over and over, breathing raggedly through gritted teeth. His jaw ached with the effort of holding back the violent words he wanted to spew forth.

Damn them! Damn them all to fucking hell! Why the fuck couldn't the press have found some other fucking idiots to badger? What was so fucking fascinating about his life that they still pursued him after all this time? Why don't they get a fucking life!

His anger needed an outlet so his leg lashed out, kicking the edge of the coffee table before him, sending it skidding across the floor violently for a few inches before teetering on one slightly upraised floorboard and then toppling over on its side with a resounding crash.

He stared at the damage before him; phone in pieces, table overturned, ashtray and prior contents scattered over the floor. Shit, he thought feeling a little pathetic as he surveyed the mess which solved nothing and only meant that at some stage he would have to clean it up. He slumped back into the couch, letting his head fall to rest on the top and stared morosely at the ceiling. Oh, shit.

He took a deep calming breath before standing to walk over to the remains of his phone, staring down at the pitiful pieces. With another deep suffering sigh he crouched and sifted through the pieces, finally finding the section of the inner workings that still held the card. Carefully removing it, his further inspection seemed to reveal that it had suffered no great mishap but the proof would be when he inserted it into his other phone. He hoped it wasn't damaged – it would be such a pain to have to get another.

He looked up at the window above where he knelt as a cloud scurried across the sky, blocking the sun for a brief moment before passing on its way. There was no getting out of this one, not this time. He was going to have to let himself be subjected to all the crap and questions and probing, though he did suddenly wonder why there had seemed to be very little fuss since he and Shuichi had returned home. Admittedly when he had first returned he hadn't been in that great a shape to want to know what the rest of the world thought of him, and he personally hadn't cared anyway. Since then he hadn't been trying to find out what was getting printed about the two of them never having been that interested in the tabloids and his family would not have raised the issue either, and if anything he had gone out of his way to avoid knowing anything. Yet still he hadn't even heard any whispers, which was a bit unusual he now realized.

I wonder why, he thought, twirling the tiny card in his fingers, I wonder why they seemed to have left me alone till now? Perhaps Tohma had had something to do with that. He wouldn't put it past his brother-in-law. He, more than nearly anyone, knew exactly to what lengths Tohma Seguchi would go to protect his interests. Yeah, that must be it.

But about this press conference. What the hell was Shuichi going to say about this? Had he really already agreed to it?

Yuki snorted. Of course he had, he wouldn't have had any choice – just like he hadn't. When Tohma Seguchi said he wanted something, he got it. One way or another. Shuichi wouldn't have had any option but to agree with his boss's demands no matter how unreasonable they were. He bet the brat wasn't any happier about this than he was. Especially after yesterday.

Shit, yesterday. He tried not to think about it, having spent a sleepless night doing nothing but rehash the events and conversation over and over again in his mind. How the hell had it turned out like that? What the hell had happened!

Yuki stood and headed for his study in search of his spare phone. He was sure that it was in there somewhere although it had been awhile since he had tossed it in a drawer when he had upgraded to the one that now lay shattered over the floor. They just don't make things like they used to.

Yeah, Shuichi was probably going to be really pissed about this too, getting forced into something he didn't want to do but neither of them had much choice. It was something they were both going to have to face sooner or later and they may as well try and come up with a good cover story for the moment and work out how to deal with all the crap afterwards when the public finally found out the truth.

He began opening drawers and angrily pushing the contents around in search of his goal. Gods, he was going to hate tomorrow!

Yuki sat in his car and looked up at the frontage of NG Productions. He was tempted to just restart the engine and get the hell out of there, head home or go anywhere. Anywhere that Tohma wouldn't find him.

Which meant that there was nowhere for him to go. Tohma's arm was long and if he didn't turn up today he wouldn't be able to escape and for once Tohma's wrath would be directed at him, something he didn't particularly want to have to deal with. He had seen the results of Tohma's displeasure too many times to want to be on the receiving end.

He finally got out of the vehicle and strode towards the front doors, chewing on the cigarette clamped between his lips. He just wanted to get this over and done with yet at the same time the nerves were eating away at his insides at the prospect of seeing Shuichi again so soon after their disastrous coffee date. That thought stopped him dead in his tracks in shock and the cigarette fell unheeded from his mouth. Did he just actually admit that it had been a 'date'? He had barely taken Shuichi out on a 'date' ever, even when they were together! Was he trying to 'date' the young man? Was he the one chasing him!

He shook his head violently, trying to ignore the rational, factual voice telling him that that was exactly what he was doing. He was Eiri Yuki; world-renowned novelist, cool, suave, composed and fully in control of his life. He did not go on 'dates'! He simply chose his partners as he wished, took what he wanted and that was the end of it. He did not ask prospective partners on 'dates'!

He took the lift up to the nerve center of NG Productions, Tohma's inner sanctum. The secretary merely waved him forward, motioning for him to enter through the sturdy, ornate wooden doors that in their own right screamed out power to anyone approaching and the sheer expense that was part of it would make most people feel more than a little insignificant. They didn't have this effect on Yuki though. One thing he wasn't intimidated by and that was money.

He pushed through without even knocking, not caring if he caught his brother-in-law in the middle of anything important. Inside Tohma was sitting at his desk, papers placed in neat piles before him. He looked up as Yuki strode forward but didn't say anything. Yuki glared down at him, only holding back his anger with great effort. He didn't appreciate being coerced, not by anyone. Tohma merely continued to look back impassively.

After a moment longer of them staring at each other finally Tohma stood, pushing his chair back and picking up a slim folder before him. "Are you ready?" he asked Yuki calmly as he stepped around his desk.

"And if I said, no?" Yuki growled.

Tohma didn't bother answering, just began making his way to the door and Yuki had no choice but to follow or be left standing in the office alone. They didn't speak as Tohma lead them to one of the waiting rooms on the same floor a little further down the hall. He opened the door and motioned Yuki forward which he did, throwing a scowl in Tohma's direction as he stalked into the room with the curtains pulled back to let the sunlight in, making it bright and cheerful. That only made Yuki frown deeper.

A scuff from behind made him turn his head and he froze. There he saw Shuichi slowly standing from where he had obviously been sitting on the high backed couch. Oh, fuck, he thought, what the hell was he supposed to say!

"As you can see," Tohma said as he closed the door behind him and walking towards the center of the room. "Shindou had indeed agreed to this." He threw a quick smile towards Yuki, tipping his head to one side. "I had no need to lie to you," he confirmed. Then he looked over to Shuichi. "And I must thank you for agreeing to this."

Shuichi nodded warily, not certain how to deal with a 'nice' Tohma Seguchi. Yuki eyed him carefully. Yeah, he doesn't look too happy about this, he thought, noticing the slightly thinned lips even though the rest of Shuichi's features were completely blank.

Tohma laid the folder he was holding on the table and spoke to them both. "This is a list of the questions that will be asked relating to the tour and Bad Luck. The attendees have been provided with these so I suggest that you take note of the relevant information that will answer those." He glanced between the two men on either side of him. "What you say in relation to any other questions I leave to your discretion." He checked the expensive watch on his wrist, noting the time. "You have about 5 minutes before it begins. You know where it is," he directed the last towards Shuichi, "so don't be late. I'll leave you to it."

"You're not going to be there?" Shuichi was surprised. It was unlike Tohma to let them have free rein especially for such an important conference as this.

Tohma gave him a smooth smile which did nothing to reassure him. "I'm sure you will be able to handle this." was his reply as he gave a cheerful wave to them both as he left, closing the door behind him.

Yuki automatically pulled out his cigarettes and lit one, anything to try and stall for time. He pushed his hands into the pockets of his jacket, looking Shuichi over. He felt his heart give a lurch. He looks good, he couldn't help but think as he took in the precise costuming, well groomed hair and slight makeup to enhance his looks. He felt his face beginning to flush with more than embarrassment for his thoughts and cast his eyes down to the table to hide his features.

"I suppose we'd better look through that," he said a little gruffly, meaning the folder Tohma had left behind.

"I wouldn't bother about it," Shuichi said, stepping forward and picking it up. He flicked through the pages, "It's really all about the tour and the band so it's not like you'll have to answer any questions about that." He looked up from the pages, gazing directly into Yuki's face. "Just direct any questions about that stuff to me, they wouldn't expect you to know anything about it." He turned and began making his way to the door. "Besides, you never knew anything about my stuff before so nothing would have changed." With his back still to Yuki he didn't see the older man flush then turn pale or the visible flinch as though he had been struck by a hard blow. Shuichi cast a glance over his shoulder as he opened the door, "Coming?"

"Yeah," Yuki managed to say, forcing the words out between clenched teeth. Shuichi didn't wait any longer and Yuki just followed him down the corridor and into the nominated conference room.

As soon as they entered they were assailed by the flash of cameras and the cheers and applause. The place was packed, larger cameras set up on tripods at the back, the hot portable studio style lights set out around the perimeter of the room casting their heat haze over the entire room. There were so many bodies packed into this area that already the air conditioning was having trouble coping. Yuki felt sweat beginning to break out on his forehead, although it was not all entirely from the heat being generated externally. His own inner nerves and turmoil were only adding to it.

Shuichi on the other hand looked calm and cool, smiling widely at the crowd, waving and joking, winking and smirking. In general just playing the crowd as only he could do. Yuki envied him at that moment.

They took their seats next to the already seated Hiro and Suguru, who both rose and made quite a fuss over Shuichi's appearance, before turning a more subdued greeting towards him. As the noise quietened, the questions began in a fairly orderly fashion, adjudicated meticulously by Sakano who Yuki hadn't even noticed as he had entered. He wouldn't have thought the mild mannered man would have been the best choice but with K looming ominously behind him, hand resting on a clearly visible gun, he supposed Sakano did have enough presence to pull this task off.

The questions began sedately enough, although they were certainly enthusiastic still. They focused mainly on the band, Bad Luck's new image, their new single and the new album also. This took up some considerable time and Shuichi seemed more than eager to discuss all the ins and outs of this and the audience didn't seem tired of hearing about it.

"So why the change of image?" was one question, chorused by other voices to indicate that more than one person wanted to know.

Shuichi laughed loudly, eyes shining brightly. "What? Don't you like it?" He leant forward, nearly oozing onto the top of the table, half lying across it and facing the crowd directly, ensuring he kept eye contact with the young female reporter who had first asked the question. His gaze was openly seductive, a cross between all out slut and faint tease. The reporter blushed bright red and even from this distance Yuki could see her chest rising and falling rapidly. She wasn't the only one either. There was more than one flushed face in the audience and more than one set of glazed eyes, even from some of the men. Seeing Shuichi behave in that manner and look as he was just then, Yuki felt the front of his trousers tighten almost painfully.

"Oh!" the original questioner finally managed to find her voice, "Oh, no! It's truly magnificent! Completely and utterly enthralling!"

Shuichi slithered back to his seat and smiled happily, looking more like his old teenage self. "That's good!" he declared brightly. "Otherwise it all would have been a wasted effort!" He bestowed that joyful look on everyone ranged before him. "A lot of thought goes into how the band looks and we wanted to make it something special. I'm really glad you like it."

"Oh, we do. We do!" The chorus was more than enough evidence of their sincerity.

Finally the topics relating to Bad Luck were exhausted and the questions now turned to Yuki and the release of his new book. "It had been a while since your last novel," one questioner began, "so your loyal fans were beginning to be concerned. Everyone was very relieved to see you back. However, your latest book had a much darker overtone than your previous stories which did surprise many readers. They were most likely expecting something far more romantic after your recent 'holiday',"

The emphasis on the last word told Yuki that they were obviously referring to his time in the USA and their mistaken belief that he and Shuichi had been there for a romantic interlude. Well, he wasn't going to fall into that one. "Then I'm glad that I was able to surprise the readers," he answered calmly, keeping his features smooth and pleasant. "If my readers always knew what one of my books would be like they would become bored quite quickly. I want to continue to be able to surprise them and excite them so they want to continue to reader further stories."

"Your books do quite well overseas now also," Another question came from the back. "You held an unannounced book signing in New York a number of months ago whilst you were in the United States which received wide-spread coverage afterwards. Was that an indication that you are looking at the possibility of a book tour over there to further promote your novels?"

"Not at all," Yuki denied. "It was really just a one-off occurrence and certainly not planned in any way. Think of it as more of an experiment only."

"So you aren't planning to go back over there any time soon?"

Yuki shook his head, "No. I'm quite happy to remain at home. I have no desire to go elsewhere."

"So you won't be accompanying Bad Luck on their upcoming tour?"

Here it comes, Yuki thought, feeling his headache start up with a vengeance. The carrion eaters are snapping at his heels. "No. There is no need for me to do so." he managed to say without it sounding like he was in pain to speak the words.

"So, Shindou, aren't you going to miss Yuki while you are gone?" The next question was directed to Shuichi. Yuki refused to look at him, almost holding his breath as he waited to hear what Shuichi was going to say.

"Of course I will!" Shuichi responded firmly. Yuki cast a quick startled glance towards his partner and saw the smiling face. Shit, he was good, he couldn't help but think. He can lie so easily now – and actually look like he really means every word.

"So are you two just as close as ever?"

"What makes you think that we wouldn't be?" was Shuichi's quick response. Good save, Yuki thought, watching the younger man fence with the press. He's gotten good at this, he suddenly realized. He couldn't remember the last time he had sat through an interview or some such thing with Shuichi so he hadn't seen his partner deal with this type of thing before. Guess he has grown up after all.

"Well, there's been rumours that you have been living elsewhere. Alone." This particular reporter was unshaven looking and Yuki dislike him immediately. His eyes narrowed as he took in the slimy smile on the man's face. He was obviously one of the gutter reports, those bottom-dwelling slimebags that were only out to dig up the dirt and find ways to make it even dirtier.

Well, in this case, for once such a shit as this was completely right. Anyway, this did give the perfect opportunity for Shuichi to either come out and tell the truth fully, and to hell with what Tohma wants, or at least make up a cover story for him having his own place and set up the scene for when he comes back from tour to say that the two of them had broken up and he could continue living on his own. Yuki steeled himself for the pain that he knew was to come.

Shuichi laughed, "Oh, that!" he laughed again. "I got that place so I could really concentrate on this latest album."

"Why would that be?" The slimebag was in there like a shot. "You've never had to do that before so what's different? Have you and Eiri Yuki had a fight or something?" The man was smirking like he knew that he had them. Damn him, Yuki glared at him wishing that he could leap over the table before him and wipe that smug grin from his fucking face!

He jumped a little as an arm slid around his shoulders, holding him tightly. He turned his head to see Shuichi's leaning in close to his, still looking directly at the sleazy reporter grilling him.

"Well you see, after our time away," and Shuichi flashed his one hundred kilowatt smile at those assembled before him, "I was a little out of practice in disciplining myself to concentrate on my work so I was finding it hard to concentrate. And so many other exciting things had been happening that were much more interesting than working."

"So you're claiming that everything is fine in your relationship with Eiri Yuki?" The reporter didn't want to give up, his smile slipping as he felt his thunder being stolen and he was about to look like a fool.

Shut up! Yuki snarled silently, glaring harder at the man. Just shut the fuck up!

"Absolutely!" Shuichi declared. "Well, you know that every couple has its moments and we are no different to any other couple, but this was simply to help get Bad Luck back on top. Besides," and now Shuichi leant in even closer to Yuki, so close he could feel the other's warm breath caress his cheek which sent a shiver down his spine. "It's very hard to concentrate on work when there are far more….delectable distractions with your partner."

That comment was the last straw and effectively concluded this press conference as more than half the audience, mostly female, swooned on the spot and the rest of the members, mostly male, were forced to try and catch and revive their female counterparts. Yuki and Bad Luck were not slow in taking advantage of this opportunity and with Sakano and K running interference they managed to escape into the corridor.

"Whew!" Hiro said, slumping against the wall and wiping a hand over his brow. "Am I glad that's over with!"

"Yes," Suguru agreed, looking a little pinched and pale. He had never liked interviews being somewhat shyer than his two band mates. "Now that's done with I'm going home." He turned and began to leave.

"Hey, wait up!" Hiro said, taking off after him. "Let's go for a drink then I'll take you home!"

"Okay," Suguru agreed still walking.

"Hey, Shuichi," Hiro called back. "Want to come?"

"Nah," Shuichi waved them on with a smile. "I've got something to do. See you tomorrow."

Hiro's eyebrows rose, flicking a quick glance towards Yuki standing a little behind Shuichi, but he said nothing. "Sure thing. See ya!"

Shuichi turned and began walking in the opposite direction. "You got a moment?" he said as he passed by Yuki. "We need to talk."

This is it, Yuki thought as he followed the young man with leaden steps. Now he's going to tell me how he hated having to lie like that in front of so many people.

They entered the room they had first met in and Yuki stayed near the door, although he did close it behind him. He wanted to be as close to the exit as possible, so if it got too painful he could just leave. It may be running away, but he really didn't care.

Shuichi turned and perched on the table edge, looking at Yuki. He crossed his arms a little defiantly over his chest but didn't immediately speak, so Yuki decided to get in first.

"I'm sorry you had to put on that spectacle." He said gruffly. He itched to take out a cigarette but felt that Shuichi might think he wasn't being sincere if he seemed too casual about things.

"No biggie," Shuichi shrugged. "It's not like I'm not used to it."

"Yeah. But you usually don't have to lie."

Shuichi tipped his head to one side. "Who was lying?"

Yuki's brain froze. Wh…a….t?

He looked back at Shuichi, eyes wide, mouth opening and closing with no sounds emerging. Shuichi just gazed back silently. He still didn't know what to say. He then saw a tic begin in Shuichi's cheek, then a twitch at the corner of his mouth and suddenly the youth let out a loud laugh which just continued. That brought a frown to his face which began to flush.

Shuichi continued to laugh, arms now holding in his mirth. "You…" he gasped out between laughter, "you look….like….. a goldfish!" Shuichi mimic a fish face, bringing his hands up to his own face to purse his lips out and opening and closing them in imitation of a fish. He looked totally stupid and Yuki flushed harder to think he looked anything slightly as ridiculous as that!

Shuichi waved a hand at him in a calming motion, obviously noting his growing irritation. "Oh, keep your shirt on, Yuki!" he said, still snickering. "You look cute!" That made Yuki's face heat even further. Cute! He didn't do 'cute'!

"Stop trying to change the subject!" Yuki managed to rasp out in an effort to cover his embarrassment.

"Who's changing the subject? I thought we'd finished." Shuichi pulled himself up onto the table so he was properly seated now. "I told you I wasn't lying."

"How…" Yuki struggled to get the words out but manfully continued although his insides were knotted tightly. "How could you not have been? We.." Now he couldn't continue.

"Okay, so I told a little white lie," Shuichi said with a half shrug. "Just because we're not living together at the moment doesn't mean that it was all a lie."

Did that mean…, Yuki felt a surge of hope. Was Shuichi saying that he wanted to try again? That he wanted them to go back to the way they were?

"Look, Eiri," Shuichi continued. Again his name, Yuki felt a flush of pleasure at the sound of his name falling from those lips. "Things are a little….weird just now aren't they? I mean, between us." Now that was an understatement if ever there was one, Yuki thought. "But I want us to…" Now it was Shuichi's turn to stall and look away in discomfort. "At least try to see if we can become friends. I….I still…..feel things for you," Shuichi looked back at him, completely seriously. "But I can't quite figure out what those feelings mean yet or what I want. What do you want?"

What did he want? Yuki's chest tightened. Gods, he wanted Shuichi back with him! He wanted him living in their home, his stuff cluttering up the entire place. He wanted him annoying him when he was trying to work, playing his music too loud, talking to himself as he played his video games. He wanted him praising him for his cooking skills and eating the food he made for them. He wanted him near to hold and kiss and undress. He wanted him lying in his bed, slick with sweat and moaning with pleasure. His whole body was beginning to feel that it was on fire.

"I want…" He began again. "I want…to try again as well."

Was that a look of relief that just flashed across Shuichi's face, Yuki wondered. Had he been as nervous about this conversation as Yuki had been?

"Great!" Shuichi jumped off the table and walked over to Yuki. In the boots he was wearing the youth was only a couple of inches shorter than him, almost able to look him fully in the eyes. "I'm really glad!" The smile that Shuichi shone on him was almost enough to make Yuki go weak at the knees. That was one thing that he had always had to fight against; that wonderful, brilliant smile.

"So are you up to trying again with a coffee?" Shuichi asked him with a grin. "I didn't exactly get the chance before."

"And whose fault's that!" Yuki snapped out automatically, then could have bitten his tongue off at his careless remark. Damn it, don't antagonize him! He screamed at himself mentally. Don't piss him off now!

Shuichi just laughed, "Mine entirely!" he answered easily. "At least for storming off before getting my cup!"

"Well," Yuki mumbled, "I'm sorry…for what I said."

Shuichi batted his eyes at Yuki. "Be still my beating heart!" he said dramatically. "Is that an actual apology?"

"Don't push it!" Yuki glared at him but without any real malice.

Shuichi grinned back letting it slide. "Well, I'd better go report in to Tohma. He's had enough time to get the lowdown from Sakano and K so he'll no doubt want to grill me next."

"Want me to come with you?" Yuki offered his support, not really comfortable with letting Shuichi face his brother-in-law alone.

Shuichi waved his concern aside. "Nah, it's fine. So I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Shall I call you?"

"Sure!"

"Okay."

They looked at each other a moment longer, neither moving, both shuffling their feet. How were they supposed to end this conversation? They had said all there was to say, but what did they do now? Should he just turn around and walk away, Yuki wondered. That seemed pretty damn cold, especially after everything that had just happened.

He reached out hesitantly with one hand, stretching it towards Shuichi. Should he touch him? Should he hug him? That seemed too presumptuous. What? Shuichi looked just as uncertain as he too began to stretch out a hand. Their fingers were almost touching when Shuichi jerked his back a little and Yuki's involuntary flinch withdrew his also by a few centimeters. Shuichi's surged after his then began a hasty retreat but Yuki took a deep breath and pushed forward to wrap his clasp around those smaller digits. There was a brief moment of stillness as they both froze at the contact of bare flesh against bare flesh, and as clichéd as it sounded Yuki could have sworn he felt electricity running through his veins at the touch. Then he felt the warmth of those fingers wrap tightly around his in a firm grip. Shuichi looked into his eyes, a gentle smile on his lips and what could have been the glisten of tears beginning.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow," he said in a soft voice and slipped his hand from Yuki's grasp as he brushed swiftly past his shoulder and was out the door before Yuki could move.

Yuki stood there for a long moment after, cradling the hand that Shuichi had held as though he could keep that warmth from fading. Tomorrow, he would see him tomorrow. His lips thinned. This time he wouldn't screw up! No matter what!


	6. Chapter 6

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings:** bad language

Author's Note: Well, between being very busy with work and getting side-tracked with different stories finally my little muse managed to get back to this story, which is a good thing as I'm flying out tomorrow evening for work overseas again. So I hope you all enjoy.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, they belong to the creator of 'Gravitation'.

Unlocking My Love: Chapter 6

Yuki stabbed at the key pad frowning, trying to ignore the butterflies fluttering in the pit of his stomach although they felt more like rampaging elephants over his innards.

He paced in the kitchen as the phone continued to ring, puffing on his cigarette. Finally he heard the click and cheery undulating voice say, 'Hi! I'm not h-e-r-e!', then it dropped back to a more normal tone though still just as happy sounding. 'Leave a message', and then a click.

Damn it! Yuki cut the call immediately and his hand clenched around the phone, restraining the urge to toss it away. He couldn't afford to break this one, not until he had picked up a replacement for his last. He didn't want to especially make it a habit sending his cell phones to an early grave. Their demise tended to cause him some inconvenience.

He growled to himself, still pacing, then angrily dialled again. The cheerful message played once more and he waited till it was finished and the annoyingly irritating beeps sounded. "It's me," he said gruffly. He really hated leaving messages. "Call me," and hung up.

He threw himself onto the couch and let the hand holding the phone fall by his side. Damn it, why hadn't Shuichi answered? Had he changed his mind after all? He recalled the events of yesterday's press conference, the closeness and body heat as Shuichi had leant against him, the feel of his arm around Yuki's shoulders, and warmth of his breath against his face. Hell! It had been so fucking long since he had had any of that! How much longer could he go on like this? He was no fucking saint, and more than one person would be happy to call him a devil. He _needed_ Shuichi!

The phone suddenly jangled in his hand, startling him, the vibrations running through his palm and fingertips and up his arm. A shiver ran down his spine as the sensation seemed to pool in his groin bringing an instant response. Oh shit, he snarled as he quickly brought the phone to his ear to answer.

"What?!" he spat out, not even having checked who the caller was.

"Somebody seemed to have got out of bed on the wrong side this morning!" He recognised the cheerful voice that replied, hearing the echo of a chuckle.

"Shuichi,"

"Yep, that's me! So just how long have you been up? Bet it's only been about an hour."

Yuki glanced at his watch and realised that Shuichi was actually quite correct. Although it was nearly midday he had found himself unable to sleep the night before and had only finally fallen into slumber in the very early hours of this morning, so resultantly he had only awoken not long ago.

"Are you free today?" he asked, refusing to answer the previous question.

He heard Shuichi's laughter. "I knew it!" he crowed. "What's the matter, Yuki? Were you too busy thinking about me?" he purred.

"Don't flatter yourself," Yuki growled, knowing he would _never_ admit that was exactly the case.

"Okay, okay, I won't tease you anymore."

"So, are you free?" Yuki asked again.

He heard Shuichi's sigh. "Sorry, but since we had some time off the other day things have just been hectic. One of the previous photo shoots turned out like crap and Toma demanded they are redone before we go on tour, so we're going to be tied up till real late."

"Oh," Yuki felt completely deflated. Well, what had he really expected? Shuichi had work to do just the same as anyone else. He still had to make a living and work commitments took precedence. He felt like a fool. Serves him right for screwing up the first chance they had met - looks like that was going to be their last.

"But, hey," Shuichi continued, sounding hopeful. "Can you get away now?"

"Right now?" Yuki asked, surprised.

"Yeah. If you can get here soon I can at least grab a lunch break before the shooting starts in the afternoon. K always makes sure we at least take a midday break before this kind of thing because they just drag on for so long. Can you make it?"

Yuki looked at his watch, gauging how heavy traffic might be and how long it would take him. Oh, fuck it all! He would make it somehow! "Sure. Wait for me." he said.

"Really?" This time it was Shuichi's turn to sound surprised, and pleased. "When will you leave?"

"As soon as an annoying brat gets off the phone I can go," Yuki said evenly.

"Oh, sorry!" Shuichi laughed, obviously not offended by Yuki's tone. "See you soon. And don't get caught speeding!", then he hung up.

Damn it, Yuki thought, leaping to his feet and making a run for the odor. He jerked on his jacket, snatching keys form the hall table and pushing his phone into his pocket. He patted himself down and then saw his packet of cigarettes and lighter still resting on the coffee table back in the lounge room. Snarling he loped back, snatched them up and was back at the door, slipping feet into shoes as he opened it and stepped out. After locking the door, he swiftly raced down the stairs to the undercover parking, forgoing the slower lift and taking the steps three at a time in leaps, praying he didn't misjudge and slip resulting in a sprained ankle or worse.

As he ran towards his parking bay he clicked the locking mechanism, seeing the lights flash and the beep indicating it had worked so when he reached it he just opened the door and slid smoothly into the seat. He gunned the engine, hearing the squeal of tyres as he backed out, almost doing a hook turn as he jerked the wheel round. There was the smell of burning rubber for a moment as the wheels spun, then he kicked it into gear and he lurched forward, shooting out into the sunlight. The sound of screaming brakes came from the car that had been traveling on the road that swerved hard to avoid the sleek black Mercedes that had abruptly appeared in front of him before disappearing rapidly into the distance, well and truly doing more than the speed limit.

Yuki kept his hands firmly gripping the wheel as he jumped from late to lane, cutting between cars that barely allowed enough space for his vehicle to fit, mere centimeters separating bumpers and fenders before he would jump once again, each time taking him further ahead. He knew these streets well and navigated them now with practiced ease, although the excessive speed and risks he was taking was making it rather more hazardous than normal.

He soon reached NG's parking lot and, ignoring the sign that said 'Staff Only', swung into the nearest empty bay. As he threw himself out of the car he at least remembered to ensure he locked and armed the vehicle as he left, then bounded up the front steps. He didn't notice the fine print on the sign before the bay he was parking in saying, 'Reserved: President'.

Once inside the lobby he suddenly slowed. He had no idea where in this multi-storied building he would find Shuichi and he had no intention of wandering around aimlessly nor lowering himself to actually having to ask someone for assistance. He pulled out his phone, but before he could dial the full impact of his situation hit him. He was breathing heavily, lungs aching as he took deep breaths in an effort to feed more oxygen to his starving body. He could feel the sweat on his face and back making his shirt cling to him uncomfortably. Even his legs ached from his efforts.

He began to laugh, an ironic chuckle bubbling up at the state he found himself in. He was such an idiot. He was acting like a complete moron! Since when had he rushed around like this at anyone's beck and call?!

He leant over and rested hands on his knees as he continued to chuckle at his own foolishness whilst still trying to calm his breathing. Gods, he was so pathetic. When had he become so whipped?

Since you nearly lost him, a voice whispered in the back of his mind, and the laughter faded abruptly.

Yes, yes, that was what this was all about. He had almost lost him once, he wasn't going to let that happen again. When he finally had him back, then he could take it out on his hide for all this humiliation!

He straightened, taking one last deep breath and quickly wiped his face before dialling the number.

"Hello?" Shuichi answered.

"Where are you?" Yuki demanded without preamble.

"Where are you?!" Shuichi retorted, not cowed in the least.

"In the lobby,"

"Wow! You made good time!" Shuichi sounded impressed. "I thought I told you not to speed."

"No, you told me not to get caught. I wasn't," was Yuki's calm response as he placed a much needed calming cigarette between his lips.

Shuichi chuckled at his reply then said, "Wait there and I'll be down in a minute."

After Shuichi had hung up Yuki headed for the restroom he had spied in the corner. It would no doubt take a little time for Shuichi to get there so he had time to try and freshen up. There was no-one else present in the bathroom when he entered so he quickly stripped his jacket and shirt off, hanging them carefully on the hooks supplied. He grabbed a good supply of freshener towels and swiftly wiped his sweaty face and torso, the coolness on his heated flesh refreshing.

After tossing them aside he checked out the selection of colognes on offer. One thing Tohma always ensured was that all the restrooms at NG allowed visitors the opportunity to make themselves presentable before gracing his presence. In this business appearances did count as well as talent, so Tohma believed in providing prospective clients and supplicants every opportunity to impress him. If they failed after that it was entirely due to their own faults. He was pleased to find one of his favourites and splashed it on, careful to not over do it. With a last sprinkle of water over his hair to lay it flat, he dried his hands and replaced his shirt, foregoing his jacket instead simply tossing it over his shoulder as he left.

He had just exited when the lift doors opened and Shuichi stepped out. He was looking a little more like his old self today, wearing as tank top and long baggy shorts though Yuki noticed the shorts were probably a little longer than strictly fashion dictated. However the length did ensure that the worst of the scar on his leg was well hidden. Gone also were the days of crop tops for him, unless it were for stage costumes and his other scars could be hidden as with Bad Luck's newest make-over. Yuki was now beginning to realize that although it still seemed that Shuichi just threw his clothes on casually it really wasn't the case. Now there was obviously a lot of thought that went into dressing, whilst still appearing to be completely haphazard.

Shuichi's face broke out in a smile as he saw Yuki standing there and he jogged over. "Come on, we're going to have to eat here so I hoe you don't mind."

"That's fine," Yuki replied, following as Shuichi led them towards the small coffee shop situated to one side of the ground floor. It ensured that visitors were able to relax for a moment whist they may be waiting for appointments and kept the press occupied at the times they tried to camp out at NG to get a scoop.

"You grab a table and I'll get our stuff. You want something to eat?"

Yuki shook his head. "Just coffee," he replied looking around to see what was available amongst the lunch crowd.

"Okay," and Shuichi shot off to join the queue.

Yuki noticed two people rising from a booth by the window and made a bee-line towards it, reaching it just before another slower moving couple could commandeer it. They glared at him as he sat but he just ignored them, not even warranting them a glance and disgruntled, they moved on.

He kept his eyes fixed on the short figure who had reached the register and watched as Shuichi juggled his tray between the flowing bodies. As he looked he saw Shuichi get jostled and he stumbled as his injured leg seemed to fold under him. Yuki stood hurriedly, almost ready to leap over table, chairs and patrons to reach his side when he saw him catch himself with a practiced ease, smiling forgivingly to the apologizing culprit, and all without spilling a drop from the coffee cups on the laden tray.

Yuki felt his heart return to its place in his chest from where it had leapt into his throat. As he sat back down he realized that Shuichi really hadn't needed his help and the ease with which he had dealt with the situation and adapted so smoothly showed clearly that he was more than used to dealing with such incident and more than capable as well. That knowledge Yuki should have found comforting, but instead it just made him feel more inadequate.

"Here you go!" Shuichi said, almost dropping the tray down in the middle of the table and Yuki watched the coffee slop over the edges of the cups. He glared at the youth sliding into the seat opposite him. as he picked up his coffee cup and watched in distaste as the drops fell from the base.

"You managed to perform like a circus juggler when you got knocked and didn't spill a thing and now you can't manage to keep it all in one cup!" he growled.

Shuichi's eyes opened wide as he picked up his own cup. "Oh you saw that, did you?"

"Yeah," was all Yuki said. "I expected to see you land flat on your arse but instead you managed to save me the embarrassment of having known you."

Shuichi just laughed. "Sorry for disappointing you! Here," he said, pushing a plate before Yuki. "Something to try and sweeten your mood. If anything could!" he finished with a chuckle, taking the second and third plates for himself.

Yuki stared down at the large piece of strawberry shortcake as Shuichi lifted the jam-packed salad roll to his mouth. "There's no way that will fit." Yuki stated eyeing the nearly four inch high roll in the other's hands.

"Huh?" Shuichi paused and then answered, "Sure it will. Watch me!"

Yuki did then watch in fascination as Shuichi's mouth seemed to continue to open wider and wider as though he were a snake disengaging its jaw to swallow its prey whole. Surely the idiot wasn't actually going to do that! Yuki watched as Shuichi's pearly white teeth reached both top and bottom and bit down, penetrating the bread and contents until they met in the middle, tearing off a chunk.

"That," Yuki said, taking a sip of his coffee. "Is just plain abnormal."

"Hmmph!" Shuichi mumbled, chewing.

Yuki looked at the youth's face, cheeks distended like a chipmunk frantically gathering nuts for winter storage. At least he was able to chew with his mouth shut, he thought. It would be way too gross otherwise.

With far more elegance, Yuki picked up a fork and cut a bite-size portion of his cake off, pausing with it before his mouth. Shuichi wrinkled his nose up and rolled his eyes, fully realising Yuki was making fun of him but unable to speak at that time. He finally swallowed and brought the roll up for another bite.

"Laugh at me all you want," he declared, staring Yuki down. "But I've got to be back in half an hour on the dot and I'm not likely to be done till nearly midnight, by which time I'll be too tired to eat anything." He took another big bite and almost half the roll had now disappeared.

Yuki gave a quick glance at his watch. Shuichi was right, there wasn't much time. Damn, why could they never catch a break? He just wanted to be with the idiot!

"Don't they feed you during the shoot?" he questioned, making just as much headway with his cake as Shuichi was with his roll.

"Sure they do," Shuichi said after a brief pause whilst he finished the current mouthful. "But it's usually more in the way of donuts, soft drink and coffee!"

"Hardly nutritional," Yuki pointed out. "Though for you, probably your staple diet."

Shuichi glared back at him over the rim of his cup as he took a large swallow of his coffee. "Hey, I like good food too! I used to eat everything you cooked."

"True," Yuki grudgingly admitted. Shuichi wasn't a picky eater which made feeding him pretty easy.

"Besides," Shuichi continued. "When we're in the middle of jobs like this the sugar high keeps us going or we'd never get through the hours. Not to mention that we need to have something quick and easy to eat so we can do it on the run, and not too substantial or it would send us to sleep while we digest!"' He took another big bite. Yuki agreed that he might just have a point there but that still meant Shuichi ended up with a lousy diet. No wonder he was trying to stock up now.

"You know," Shuichi suddenly said after his mouthful was gone. "We're doing well so far."

"What do you mean?" Yuki pushed his now empty plate aside and pulled his coffee in closer.

Shuichi took another drink of his coffee to clear his mouth. "Well, we haven't managed to have a real argument over anything yet!" He grinned goofily at Yuki daring him to disagree and thus start an argument over the point and so prove him a liar.

Yuki just frowned at him, refusing to rise to the bait. "Don't push your luck," he growled. "There's always time for us to screw up!"

Shuichi threw his head back and laughed. "Yep, that's us all right!" He pushed the last of the roll into his mouth, grabbing at his napkin to wipe his hands.

"Hey," Yuki said, stretching a hand across the table. "You missed a bit." Gently he wiped the drop of relish away from the corner of Shuichi's mouth, fingertips brushing lightly over the corner of the moist lips. He saw Shuichi's eyes widen, almost filing his face, and the movement of his jaw ceased suddenly.

As the youth seemed to freeze, Yuki wondered if he had overstepped the mark and began to pull back when Shuichi seemed to sense his intention and reached up to grab his hand tightly. It appeared he wanted to say something but his mouth was still full and he began to try and chew frantically, swallowing quickly so he could speak.

Too quickly as it turned out as he began to choke, his face turning interesting shades of red and blue. Alarmed, Yuki stood and leaned over the table, thumping on the bent back as Shuichi continued to gasp. Finally he sat up, still sucking in gulping breaths, tears streaking his face as Yuki fell back on his seat with a relieved thump.

"Well," Shuichi wheezed, wiping at his face. "That was a real mood killer." He reached out and carefully sipped his coffee to ease his sore throat whilst Yuki did the same, silence settling over them awkwardly.

'Um," Shuichi suddenly said, glancing at his watch. "I'm sorry to have to do this." His face flushed and he looked embarrassed. "I know it seems like I'm just running away but I really do have to go." He gave an apologetic look across the table, fingers nervously tapping on the table top. "I mean, I'd like to stay longer, honestly. It's not because I'm trying to avoid you or….or feel uncomfortable…." His voice faded away as he dropped his eyes and turned his head so he wasn't looking at Yuki any more. "Anyway, I've really got to go."

He laid both hands on the table pushing himself up as he stood and Yuki finally broke the spell that had held him speechless, leaning over and clamping one hand tightly around one thin wrist, squeezing. He had found himself unable to do anything before, either speak or move as he had tried to quell the thundering in his ears and the pounding of his heart as with that one small touch previously he had been overwhelmed with longing. Now, the feel of Shuichi's smooth skin under his hand was both intense pleasure yet tinged with pain.

Shuichi looked up quickly to meet Yuki's eyes, questioning his actions, his eyes begging him to give him an explanation for what he was doing. Yuki knew that he had to say something, and not just anything. This was a crucial moment and what they were building between them was still as fragile as spun glass and just as easily shattered. "Can…." Yuki's voice sounded strained even to his own ear but he forced himself to continue. "Can you get away tomorrow night?"

"Er, I'm not sure," Shuichi mumbled a little uncertainly.

Yuki could feel that Shuichi was holding himself rigidly in place, could feel the tension in the muscles and tendons beneath his fingers. He took a deep breath and plunged on, releasing his tight grip on Shuichi's wrist only enough to slide his hand down to rest fully over the top of the hand lying on the table. Shuichi looked down, surprise clearly visible on his face, before he threw a quick glance up to Yuki's face.

Yuki softly ran his fingers over the back of the hand, tracing the tendons as he continued speaking. "Do you want to go to a movie or something?"

Shuichi's disbelief increased. "Us? Together?" he almost squeaked.

"Who the fuck else do you think I'm talking about?" Yuki snapped automatically, then as Shuichi's eyes narrowed at the response he panicked. Oh, shit, shit, he cursed himself, quickly adding, "I mean, yeah, us."

Oh, smooth, real smooth, he chided himself. Get your act together, you stupid dickhead, before you mess it all up again!

He continued the gentle stroking of Shuichi's hand which hadn't been snatched away as Yuki had half feared would occur. "If you want to, that is."

"What's on?" Shuichi questioned, still looking a little shell-shocked.

Yuki shrugged. "I don't know so you can pick."

"Really? Me?! And you'll come with me what ever I choose?"' Shuichi peered at Yuki worriedly. "Are you sick or something?"

Yuki just managed to prevent himself from rolling his eyes and snorting. He was really going to be in for it now, he thought, dreading to think what torturous mind-numbing boredom Shuichi was likely to subject him to. He controlled a sigh. There was no helping it. If he wanted to make sure that they had the chance to spend more time together he was just going to have to put up with all kinds of crap no doubt.

"Yeah, I'll watch it with you. But," and he had to add this. "Try not to pick some really lame dribble if you can."

A grin quirked Shuichi's lips. "I'll try, otherwise we're going to have to hope that the music is so loud it will drown out your snores!"

"I don't snore!" Yuki denied hotly.

Shuichi was smiling broadly by this time and turned his hand over under Yuki's so their hands now lay palm to palm and he could wrap his fingers around Yuki's wrist in return. "Okay, it's a date."

Yuki grimaced at that word and Shuichi just laughed at his pained expression. He waggled a finger at the other man and said, "It's no use denying it," he said cheerily. "It's a date no matter how you look at it!"

"Okay then," Yuki grumbled, "It's a date. Just don't be fucking late!"

"But isn't that fashionable?"

Yuki glared at him. "Fuck fashion!"

Shuichi laughed again and smiled down at the seated man. "Anyways, I gotta go. Call me tomorrow, okay?"

"Sure," Yuki agreed, wishing Shuichi didn't have to go just yet but not able to think of any way he could legitimately keep him there any longer.

Shuichi gave his hand one last squeeze and his fingers lingered for another moment before he broke their grasp and took off at a run, obviously already late for his appointment.

Yuki turned in his seat to look after his disappearing form. Shuichi was right. No matter what he tried to say he had just asked him out on a date. He let out a deep breath feeling as though a heavy weight had been lifted from his shoulders. That had gone really well. At least they had actually parted on still speaking terms – that had to be a good start. And they had even arranged for another meeting – yes, an actual date.

He stood and walked out of NG Productions. Now he had to just find a way to keep things going so smoothly and find a way to show Shuichi that he had to come back, that he belonged with Yuki. He reached his vehicle and something white fluttering on the windscreen caught his eye. Reaching out he pulled the piece of paper from under the wipers, opening it to read. It was in Tohma's hand writing and said, 'Good luck on the next encounter. Please see enclosed.'

How the hell had Tohma known what had just happened? Yuki wondered as he unfolded the second piece of thin pink paper. Did the bastard have hidden cameras and microphones in the building? Not that it would surprise him if he did. Or had Tohma just assumed that his meeting with Shuichi would go well. Ah, who knows with Tohma?! Just trying to figure him out would give you a migraine!

He finally had the paper fully opened and read it, feeling the colour drain out of his face as he shook with disbelief and rage. In his hand was a parking infringement notice.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings:** bad language

Author's Note: Thank you to everyone still following the trials and tribulations of these two perennially mismatched lovers! I hope you continue to enjoy.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, they belong to the creator of 'Gravitation'.

Unlocking My Love: Chapter 7

Shuichi let out his breath in a loud whoosh, feeling his heart still pounding. He looked at the shaking hands that held the phone he had just hung up after finishing the call and couldn't help but laugh at himself. Anyone would think he was going out on his first date or something!

He chuckled again as he threw himself back in the couch. Well, he was really. The first date of the new Shuichi Shindou and Eiri Yuki! What a momentous moment!

He flung his arms up towards the ceiling in a shoulder snapping movement, laughing again. How could two grown men act like such idiots, he wondered. Yuki had seemed just as nervous on the phone, asking if he could pick him up so he wouldn't be late. It almost sounded like he was afraid Shuichi wouldn't turn up or something but that couldn't be right. The Eiri Yuki he remembered would never be bothered by something like that! If anything, it would be Yuki that would just arbitrarily decide that he couldn't be bothered going because it was all too much of a hassle! And not bother to call so Shuichi would be the one left standing around!

Yeah, that is how it would have gone in the past, so he must have mistaken Yuki's reason for offering the ride. Anyway, Shuichi had felt a little uncomfortable at the idea as well. It had felt a little too much like he was the girl waiting for her boyfriend to pick her up. It's not like he couldn't get there on his own if he wanted to! He didn't need to rely on Yuki for a lift everywhere, he'd managed fine up till now without him!

Yet still, a smile creased his face as he remembered lunch just the day before. That had been quite….startling. They hadn't argued, they hadn't fought in any way, it had been…comfortable, happy, even the banter thrown between them had seemed…..nice. He had truly felt happy just being with Yuki, being able to share something as simple as lunch together.

He felt his cheeks flush a little as he remembered the rest as well; the touch of Yuki's hand over his, the soft caress, so light yet it had sent tingling fires racing up his arm from the tips of his fingers. He had felt a warmth spreading throughout his body at that touch and he couldn't help but respond, yet at the same time he was a little unnerved by it. He knew that he and Yuki had been in a relationship before, his body obviously remembered too, but each time it responded to the other's presence it still caught him by surprise.

Because of that he never felt fully capable, or in control, of his own reactions and he didn't like that feeling much. It reminded him too much of that 'lost' sensation he had experienced when he had first awoken in hospital after the accident and was greeted with nothing but a blank mind yet the world continued to go on around him and he was forced to just keep up with what was happening. Yes, he had learnt to adapt quickly to those circumstances and soon got used to it, but at the beginning it had not been a pleasant time. He really didn't like feeling that his life and his body were not under his complete control again.

So, although he had really enjoyed being with Yuki, just being with him caused a lot of other conflicting emotions. When he was in Yuki's presence he was never certain how to go about things or what he really should be doing. He still couldn't even say if he knew for certain what he even wanted; from himself, from Yuki, or from any form of attachment, relationship, call it what you will, but whatever it was most times it made no sense to him at all. Whenever he made a move forward he got frightened as it took him into uncertain realms, he couldn't say unfamiliar because unfortunately his body indicated quite clearly just how familiar it all was, but for him now, it was all new. So each time he found himself saying something or making some move along those lines he would panic and immediately want to flee.

He chuckled without humour. At least one thing hadn't changed at all and that was his heightened sense of self-perseveration, honed after so many years of having K as a Manager!

He scrubbed his hands through his hair, lifting the longer length at the back so it was no longer caught in his collar. Things always seemed to go so much better with Yuki when he didn't try and force it, like lunch yesterday. He was so rushed that he didn't have time to worry about being with Yuki or what to say or do and he'd had a really good time. Yuki seemed to as well, although the man was much harder to read than most people. Perhaps that was what he had to do in future? Try and actually relax around the man and not go out of his way to try and actually do anything.

He had been extremely nervous making the call to Yuki just now. How could he, someone who didn't blink at a stadium filled by thousands, baulk at making one phone call? If that wasn't absurd then what was?

Yet, for all his nervousness, when he had heard Yuki's voice it had automatically brought a smile to his face, and although his heart had been in his throat the whole conversation, once the time and place of their date had been agreed upon he had felt tremendously relieved. It was all organized now so it just remained for them both to actually turn up. Perhaps that is going to be the test? Shuichi refused to acknowledge the little wriggle of doubt in the back of his thoughts that Yuki wouldn't show at all.

He heard the sound of the door opening and stretched his head back, almost slithering over the back of the couch so his head was hanging upside down.

"What are you trying to do, make all the blood rush to your head or something?" Hiro questioned, eyeing his friend's flexible position. "You know it won't make you any smarter."

"Nah, just getting a new perspective on the world!" Shuichi said airily, straightening up as Hiro walked round to sit opposite him. "What are you up to?"

Hiro picked up a magazine from the table between them. "Getting away from the current argument between Suguru and K about the stage lighting for the third stop." Hiro flicked absently through the pages obviously not reading any of it.

"Again?" Shuichi questioned. It had been a sore point for some time between the two mentioned antagonists. Suguru felt that the lighting was overdone and poorly arranged at that particular venue which would cause problems for them being able to see well when moving about the stage with it glaring directly at them, not to mention making them sweat copiously in having to cope with the heat they generated. He was also concerned that he would have problems with this due to his keyboard becoming slippery and he worried that he would be more likely to make a mistake during the performances. The fact that Suguru had _never_ made a mistake when playing was beside the point.

Hiro grimaced. "Yep," He then smiled at Shuichi. "Want to make a bet who'll win?"

Shuichi considered it for a moment then shook his head. "Nope, I know who will."

"Who?" Hiro sat back, forgotten magazine resting on his lap.

"Suguru, of course." Shuichi stated quite firmly.

Hiro raised an eyebrow. "I thought you'd go for K," he said. 'Why Suguru?"

"Because that little sod is more stubborn than all the artillery that K could muster, and he's Tohma Seguchi's cousin to boot!"

"That's true," Hiro agreed with a laugh, tossing the magazine on the table before standing and stretching. "It'll be good to finally get this tour on the road!"

"How do you feel about going on tour again?" Shuichi suddenly asked his friend.

Hiro looked at him in surprise. "Huh?"

Shuichi picked at some invisible lint on his jeans as he spoke, "Are you really glad to be going? How does Ayaka feel about it? Won't she miss you?"

"She's fine," Hiro replied, looking down at his friend and wondering where this train of conversation was leading. "She knows it goes with the job, and it's not like I'm away all the time. We always make certain we make up for it later." He walked over to the window, turning and leaning back with his hands on the sill so he could still face Shuichi. "Why do you ask? Are you still worried about performing?"

Shuichi waved the last comment aside, shaking his head. "No, nothing like that. I feel pretty good about it all and I'm really excited." He smiled broadly at his friend. "It's going to be a real buzz!"

"Sure it will!" Hiro grinned back, enjoying seeing his friend so happy and looking like he used to.

"But," and Shuichi's voice dropped a little, some of the joy fading. "I was just wondering what the people we leave behind feel about it."

"Do you mean Yuki?" Hiro asked bluntly, not beating around the bush.

"What makes you say that?" Shuichi retorted quickly although the slight flush on his cheeks said more than any words.

Hiro chuckled at his friend's discomfort. "So are you worried that Yuki will forget you or something?"

"Don't be stupid!" Shuichi snapped. "As if he'd forget me after only a few weeks when he didn't for more than a year!"

"Ah, so you've finally figured that out."

"Eh?" Shuichi paused.

Hiro came and sat opposite again, leaning forward to look at his friend seriously. "You've finally realized that Yuki couldn't just 'forget' you. Like you said, he didn't even come close to forgetting you when you were missing, so just a simple tour isn't going to suddenly change that."

"Uhmm," Shuichi began to look a little uncomfortable, turning his head to one side so he didn't have to meet Hiro's eyes.

Hiro sighed in some despair at his friend's evasiveness. "Shuichi, when are you just going to talk to Yuki properly and sort this all out? You still like him, don't you?"

Shuichi mumbled and shrugged, not admitting anything.

"Oh well, that's your problem," Hiro said, standing and heading for the door. "But I wouldn't wait too long you know, it's just going to get harder." He flashed a smile over his shoulder. "I think I'll go see if the battlefield is clear and who's the victor."

"I'll go with you!" Shuichi said, jumping to his feet. He exited before his friend and looked back at him. "Bet it's Suguru!" he said, grinning.

"No takers," Hiro said. "You didn't want to make a deal with me before so no trying to rig things in your favour now!"

Shuichi stuck his tongue out and set off at a run. "Last one back buys dinner!" he called out.

"No fair with the head start!"' Hiro called after him, lengthening his long legs and quickly catching up to his smaller friend as they set off in earnest to reach their destination, neck to neck.

Shuichi looked at the clothes hanging in his wardrobe and frowned. Time was ticking on and he was getting a little fidgety with his indecision. He hadn't got home that long ago and hadn't particularly rushed to do so as he had thought he would have plenty of time. However, he also hadn't taken into account that he would be standing here for this long trying to make up his mind what he was going to wear!

He gazed that the choice before him, weighing each up in his mind as to style, colour, fashion, and would it look any good on him at all. His indecision came from the fact that he didn't want to wear just any old casual clothes so it looked like he hadn't bothered to make any effort, or was treating tonight as nothing special. However, at the same time, he also didn't want to look too dressed up as though he was trying too hard and therefore looking like someone completely unlike himself. He knew he wouldn't feel at all comfortable like that, and he only owned one good suit anyway.

He pushed some hangers around, chewing on his lip as he co-ordinated each item once more in head, shirts, jackets, pants, still undecided. Why couldn't he just pick something! They were only going to a movie for gods sake!

He eyed the multiple jeans hanging and contemplated them once more. He usually wore jeans now when he was just hanging around, whether it was at the studio, going to the shops or just around the house. They were all nice jeans, not to mention expensive as well. He had discovered that he did like wearing some of the top designer labels and since he had the money to be able to afford it he hadn't seen any reason to deprive himself of that luxury. So there was nothing wrong with the jeans that he owned, they were certainly an option.

But for some reason jeans just didn't seem suitable - not for tonight. He was certain Yuki would be his usual immaculate self. He wouldn't be wearing jeans, of that he was sure. He pulled out a couple of hangers holding crisply pressed dress slacks, one in a jet black, the other in a light beige. Both looked good on him, tailored especially for him after he had returned to Japan. Tohma had insisted that he upgrade his wardrobe and he had quickly agreed as he was no longer able to wear the shorts he was once prone to almost live in. Tohma had even gone so far as to arrange the appointment with the tailor, who had let slip that he made everything for Tohma's wardrobe. No wonder the man always looked so damn perfect!

He held the slacks against a couple of shirts then jackets, determining which combinations looked the best. He oscillated between not wanting to dress the same as Yuki knowing that he would most likely be dressed in slacks and jacket, to wanting to try and look as good as the other. Thinking back it had always been Yuki who had had the better fashion and sense of style. Shuichi hadn't cared about any of that and would have been happy to wear a burlap sack, although he would probably have complained about the chaffing in sensitive areas!

But that was then. Now he wanted to show that he could do better. He might not be the greatest in the fashion stakes but he wasn't completely obtuse either. He followed the articles in the various magazines that commented on Bad Luck's style, both on and off the stage. He had also paid attention to when they attended gala evenings and other events as guests or performers and what other people would wear. Slowly, all three members had begun to slightly up-market their wardrobes, although Suguru was probably the only one who hadn't had to change too much as he had already dressed immaculately.

Shuichi looked at the clock on the dresser. Damn it, he's going to be late! He reached out and just grabbed some articles, throwing them to the bed as he began to strip and head for the bathroom. That would just have to do – and he hoped that Yuki wouldn't laugh at him!

Yuki paced again, cigarette clamped tightly between his lips only to prevent him from taking it in his fingers and crushing it in his agitation.

He hated this, he really hated this. He saw the people entering the cinema, watching couples enter arm in arm, bright smiles and happy voices and they just made him angrier. He looked at his watch and then resolutely thrust the hand back in his jacket pocket. He refused to keep doing that.

Standing here, waiting for Shuichi to appear made him think too much of how similar it had been to that first meeting in Quebec, the uncertainly and nerves eating away at him. It was almost enough to make him nauseous.

He shouldn't be this nervous but he was. He had tried to convince Shuichi to let him pick him up but Shuichi indicated that there were things he had to do first, so Yuki reluctantly backed down, not wanting him to feel that he was crowding him. Instead they had arranged to meet here at the cinema and it was already nearly past the agreed time. It was not looking good.

Yuki leant against a billboard and puffed silently, listening to the traffic hum past. He looked sideways at the picture advertised and snorted. It depicted a scene from the movie they were supposed to be seeing, an all out action movie, Shuichi's choice as he agreed it could be.

He had been a little surprised for some reason at the choice, he had thought Shuichi would go for something a little more subdued, but then again perhaps this was better after all. Complete mindless drivel might be the better way to go. In these types of movies it's not like you have to actually think at all, and you certainly didn't bother looking for any hidden meanings, or most times even a plot.

He half chuckled, amused despite himself. He often derided such movies and it wasn't like he frequented the theatre that often, but deep down he didn't really mind action movies. He had to admit there were times even he got an adrenalin rush from watching some of them.

He caught himself about to look at his watch again but stopped. Gods, what if Shuichi didn't turn up? What did he do then? He could picture how he must look to others, a tall man left standing forlornly at the front of the cinema, obviously stood up by his sweetheart. Even he had to admit that he would look a pitiful sight. At this rate he was going to have enough sappy material to write another entire book without even thinking! What the hell was wrong with him? He began pacing again, unable to stand still and feeling as though the eyes of every stranger were resting on him, pityingly.

He suddenly felt a tap on his shoulder, the unexpectedness surprising him so much he spun around with an oath, cigarette dropping from his open mouth, to find himself facing a smiling Shuichi, casually dressed in slacks, open necked shirt and jacket.

The sight made Yuki gape all the more. Hell, the idiot looked almost grown up! Yuki still felt unnerved every time he realized that the time they had been apart had wrought many changes, not least that in the space of one year Shuichi had seemed to have become an adult.

Shuichi pushed one hand casually into the jacket pocket as he continued grinning at Yuki. "Geesh, anyone would think you had just seen a ghost!" he chuckled. "You ready?"

"Yeah," Yuki managed to find his voice as he fell into step beside Shuichi. "You owe me a cigarette." he grumbled.

"You can't smoke in here so live with it," Shuichi retorted.

Yuki just glared at him and Shuichi seemed to relent. "If you're good I'll buy you a packet." he added.

"What do you expect me to do?" Yuki wanted to know as Shuichi spoke quietly to the lady at the counter and collected something.

"Oh, that's something you'll just have to figure out for yourself," he said as they both followed an usher.

They were lead upstairs, away from the mainstream crowd entering the multiple doors on the ground floor and Yuki wondered what was going on. They were taken into a small section raised above the general seating below. The seats were like curved booths with an armrest between, a small table and cup-holders on either side for convenience. The usher motioned them forward with a smile and left the dimmed room, closing the door behind her.

Yuki looked around him. They were obviously in the premier lounge, special seating set aside to view first releases and other special occasions.

"Not many people," he observed as they were the only ones present.

"There shouldn't be," Shuichi said, throwing himself into one of the seats with a laugh. He looked up at Yuki with mischief in his eyes. "I booked out the whole area. There are some perks to being famous." He smirked at his cleverness.

Yuki raised an eyebrow at this forthright answer, trying not to read too much into Shuichi's answer. It was probably so he didn't have to deal with the stares and other annoyances from fans, not to mention the obvious speculation at seeing them both together. It wasn't so he could just be alone with Yuki.

Yuki sat down next to him and no sooner had he done so when the door opened once more and the usher whisked in, laden with platters of food and two ice buckets which were all place on a small shelf before them. He could see one bottle was wine, while the other was soda. The food was all small finger food size; pieces of pizza, rice balls, sandwiches, chips and other assortments of snacks.

He felt his stomach growl. He had been too nervous to eat most of the day between waiting for Shuichi's call and then worrying about the meeting to come so he had done nothing except pick absently at leftovers in the fridge. But now his stomach was letting him know it needed sustenance, and soon.

Shuichi heard the loud rumble and laughed, much to Yuki's chagrin. "Go on," he waved to the food before them. "Help yourself!"

Yuki was going to refuse when another rumble convinced him he had better do so if he hoped to be able to hear any dialogue what-so-ever during the movie. Standing, he picked up a plate and began placing an assortment of nibbles on it.

"By the way," Shuichi said lazily. "I'll have some pizza, thanks."

Yuki looked down his nose at the young man. "Who died and made me your slave?" he snarled.

Shuichi grinned up at him. "That would certainly be something worth waiting for!" he replied.

Yuki snorted. "What? Me dying or being your slave?"

"Well, I wouldn't want you dying just yet!"

"I suppose that's something," Yuki growled.

"But you being my slave would be pretty good, don't you think?" Shuichi said, chuckling.

"In your dreams!" Yuki snapped back as he held out the second plate of pizza pieces for Shuichi to take.

He did so with a smile. "Dreams come true, remember?" he said, popping a piece in his mouth and chewing. "I always dreamt I would be a popstar and now look at me?!"

He waved his hands around seeming to forget the plate he held, almost dooming the pizza as it slid dangerously close to the edge. "Oops!" He quickly placed it on the table by his side to avoid further mishap.

"Moron!" Yuki said, biting into a sandwich. Shuichi stuck his tongue out at him which Yuki ignored.

He settled back in the seat feeling it mould comfortably to his taller frame. Many times he found most placed he went to where he had to sit for long periods of time were very uncomfortable as they did not generally cater for people of his taller stature. There were certainly drawbacks to being taller than the average population.

So it was a surprise to find himself immediately feeling quite comfortable now, relaxing, and he couldn't prevent the soft sigh escaping him as he leant back and stretched out his legs.

Shuichi looked over at him, amused. "Glad you like it," he said, his tone smug as though he had been solely responsible for the ergonomically designed seating. Yuki just cracked an eye open at him and didn't deign to answer.

Yuki felt the seat shift and he opened his eyes fully to see Shuichi standing and moving to the drinks. He held a bottle up in each hand, silently questioning Yuki's choice. He decided to go for the wine, he felt like some alcohol to further relax him and since he was deprived of his cigarettes he had to have something to console himself.

Shuichi poured two glasses and then another of soda, handing a wine to Yuki before taking the other two for himself. Yuki looked quizzically at the two drinks and Shuichi answered the unvoiced question. "I just can't have wine with something like pizza," he admitted, wrinkling up his nose. "It just doesn't seem right."

"Who would have thought you were some kind of connoisseur?" Yuki said sarcastically.

Shuichi punched him lightly on the arm and picked up his soda, taking a large swallow. "See, you can't do that with wine!" he said, smacking his lips.

"Oh, you can," Yuki replied, sipping from his glass. "If you want to throw up afterwards."

"Bleh!" Shuichi grimaced. "Thanks for putting me off my dinner!"

"Anytime,"

The lights began to dim and Yuki started to fidget to ensure he was comfortable but each time found the armrest knocking his elbow.

"Is that in the way?" Shuichi asked after feeling the bump for the third time. Yuki just growled wordlessly, shifting again. "Why didn't you say so?" and Shuichi flipped it up so it tucked completely away between the two back cushions so you couldn't even tell it was there. "See?" Shuichi said, settling back himself and snuggling comfortably into his seat. He spread his hands out wide with a smile. "Make yourself at home!"

Yuki took immediate advantage of the extra space, spreading his long limbs out a little more yet ensuring he didn't let himself touch any part of Shuichi now that the barrier between them was gone. The lights dimmed fully and the screen soon flared to life.

The movie wasn't too bad as far as action movies go. There were some breathtaking stunts, daredevil deeds undertaken and surprisingly it also had a story that was reasonably realistic and able to be followed. Shuichi let himself get caught up in the fast-paced excitement, fixed on the events being played out on the screen before him. At some point as the wine bottle had emptied, Shuichi had put aside his adult persona and slipped back to a teenager, his jacket tossed over the side table and shoes kicked off so he could put his feet up on the seat.

Yuki could feel the seat bouncing under him as Shuichi jumped around as though trying to mimic the stunts being played out on the big screen. He was acutely aware of the man by his side. He was beginning to think of Shuichi more and more as that – a man. Before he had been 'the kid', 'brat' not to mention 'idiot', 'moron', and whatever else came to mind at the time. Never before had he thought of him as a man. Shuichi had always seemed so young before as though, despite his years, he refused to grow up. There had always been that perception of innocent youth, completely childlike, completely at odds sometimes with the stage costumes he would wear as lead singer of Bad Luck, but perhaps that is what had been his appeal. Both to Yuki and his fans.

Now however that image had changed. Shuichi wasn't so innocent, his youthfulness had altered no longer completely childlike. His new stage presence portrayed a slightly harder edge, far more mysterious, far more inaccessible and thus far more alluring than he had been previously. Now his image, both on stage and off, was that of a man very much in control of his life.

As his seat rocked again with Shuichi's bouncing he couldn't help but revise that opinion. Perhaps he hadn't completely grown up yet!

As the film continued Yuki became aware that about half way through Shuichi's movements were no longer quite as boisterous, and from the corner of his eye he caught him yawning more than once. Obviously he was tired, not surprising really with the countdown to the tour only a few days away. He was trying to avoid thinking about that fact.

Still he was completely startled when he felt Shuichi's head suddenly fall against his shoulder and a quick glance revealed the closed eyes and sleeping features. Yuki froze, uncertain what to do. Surely Shuichi hadn't meant to fall sleep on him. If the idiot hadn't put the arm rest up this wouldn't have happened.

He gazed down at the sleeping face, the features illuminated in the flickering lights from the screen which Yuki was ignoring completely, all his attention absorbed in his study of his beloved face. Shuichi didn't look particularly comfortable and he was beginning to worry he would slip from his precarious perch and be jolted awake. Nothing was worse than being startled from a deep sleep suddenly as he well knew.

He reached up an unsteady hand and rested it lightly on the side of the sleeping head, feeling the slightly prickly hair from the mousse the youth had used to style his hair. Holding it lightly in place he moved his body forward a little bringing Shuichi with him and gingerly lifted his other arm up until he could circle it around Shuichi's shoulders.

He shifted slightly so he was pushed further into the corner of his seat, swinging his legs around so they now stretched out before Shuichi's side. In this position he could cradle the smaller man better, letting him nestle further onto his chest and shoulder.

With Shuichi's head resting just below his chin he couldn't resist letting his cheek lay against it, breathing in the fresh scent of the youth. He could feel the warmth of the body lying against his, permeating through his clothes, heating his own body. He tried to suppress the shiver that coursed down his spine as his arm tightened reflexively around the narrow shoulders, drawing that body closer to him. It had been so long since he had been able to hold him like this.

He nuzzled the hair gently, closing his eyes. If this was what would await him in death he would go to it gladly. How had he survived for so long without this? He tightened his grip again, settling Shuichi in closer. He heard the youth sigh against his chest and for a moment feared that he had awoken him but instead Shuichi simply seemed to snuggle closer, one hand climbing up to rest lightly on Yuki's chest directly over his heart.

He felt that organ's beating speed up at that light touch, holding his breath until the need to fill his starving lungs forced him to begin again. Lying like that, with his past lover in his arms, he vowed again that he wasn't going to give up. There had to be a way to convince Shuichi to come back. He had missed this more than he had realized. Like a starving man suddenly finding a feast set out before him, he wanted to devour it completely.

He was so focused on the figure in his arms he didn't see anything else, including the credits rolling as the film ended.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings:** bad language

Author's Note: Ah, well, we are back! My muse has been very busy lately with completing a FAKE story (finally!) so Gravitation has had to take a backseat for a time. However, now we may be able to see what is in store for Shuichi and Yuki. I know that some readers feel that things aren't moving fast enough between these two, but try and keep in mind that this is now only the fifth day after the events that occurred at the end of 'The Key to My Heart'. That's only five days after Shuichi's full memories returned. So I don't think either Shuichi or Yuki would be rushing towards talking about everything just yet, it's going to take a little bit of time for them both, especially Shuichi, to get a few things straight in their own heads first. Thank you for your patience and I trust everyone had a pleasant festive season.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, they belong to the creator of 'Gravitation'.

Unlocking My Love: Chapter 8

Shuichi yawned widely, mouth open so far that his tonsils could be seen dangling at the back of his throat.

"Big night, was it?" Hiro asked with a smirk in his voice, innuendo positively dripping from every word.

"Not like you think!" Shuichi retorted quickly, glaring at his friend.

Hiro just laughed, amused by his friend's defensiveness. "So how come you're so tired then?" he pressed.

"I don't know. Probably just because we've been at it for so long that as soon as I relax a bit I just crash." He yawned again. "I can barely seem to keep my eyes open."

"Well, you had better be certain to get enough sleep before we start the tour." Hiro warned. "We can't afford for you not to be in top form."

Shuichi waved his concern aside. "I'll be fine," he reassured him. "There's still a couple of days yet, and you know that I'll sleep on the bus."

"Okay." Hiro allowed the subject to drop as he poured himself some water. He made his way back to sit down next to his friend. "So how was the film?"

"Great. What I saw of it." Shuichi grumble.

"Oh, ho! So just what were you doing to make you miss it? No, don't tell me, that's too much information!"

"It was nothing like that!" Shuichi declared vehemently. "I fell asleep."

"A likely story."

"It's true!" Shuichi tried to say. "I got about half way through it and then the next thing I knew was that the movie was over!"

"Some date you are!" Hiro said. "So what did Yuki say about that?"

Shuichi flushed with embarrassment "He told me off." He shrugged. "I can't really blame him. It wasn't particularly good of me to agree to meet him and then go to sleep, especially when he let me pick the movie."

"So was he really mad at you?"

"I….don't think so."

Hiro raised an eyebrow. "You don't think so? Couldn't you tell?"

Shuichi flapped his arms in frustration for a moment. "You know how hard he can be to read! I don't know for sure!"

Hiro leant back then, face calm. "Well, you're still in one piece, and you haven't been bawling your eyes out so I presume the night ended okay. Which probably means that he wasn't that mad with you after all." He eyed his friend with humour. "Though if it had been me, I probably would be if my date had fallen asleep on me!"

"It wasn't a date." Shuichi automatically denied.

"Yeah, yeah, what ever you say." Hiro picked up the papers before them. They were supposed to be studying the layout of the venues where they would be playing during the tour to ensure they were familiar with not only the stage set-up but also the overall location in case of emergencies. K was very big on safety – not that you would think it the way he waved those guns of his around!

Shuichi thought back to the night before and wondered. Had Yuki been mad at him? He had certainly been frowning when he had first woken up.

He remembered coming to slowly, drawing out of sleep, feeling warm and comfortable. There had been the sensation of being cradled, held lightly but firmly in arms that made him feel safe and protected. His eyes fluttered open to find the lights in the theatre on and the screen blank and silent. His head had been resting against something hard, digging into his cheek and when he had shifted away he realised that it had been Yuki's shoulder he had been leaning on.

"About time you decided to surface." Yuki said curtly, shifting away also and stretching his arms, obviously working the kinks out.

"Uh, sorry, did I fall asleep?"

Yuki stared at him for the stupid question he had just asked. "Well, unless you call it being awake with your eyes closed and drooling down my shoulder." He stared down at the afore-mentioned portion of his body and Shuichi, following his gaze, looked guiltily upon the distinctly damp patch visible on Yuki's jacket. He flushed and didn't know what to say. Sorry hardly seemed adequate in this case.

"Has it been over long?" he asked instead, looking over the balcony and seeing no one.

"For a while," Yuki replied, standing. "I told them to leave us alone."

Shuichi felt his face warm a little again. "They're going to get the wrong idea, you know," he said.

Yuki shrugged. "And whose fault is that?" He held a hand out to Shuichi and hauled him to his feet. "Hurry up so we can get out of here."

"Ah, okay," Shuichi took a few steps towards the door when Yuki's voice stopped him.

"Are you intending to walk out like that?"

Shuichi looked over his shoulder, puzzled. "Why?"

Yuki dropped his gaze to Shuichi's feet pointedly and he looked down also. His face flushed brightly and he felt like he was seven years old again and just been scolded by his mother. He tried to hide his bare feet, a feat in itself as there was no physically possible way he could do so, then hurried back to his seat, leaning over to pull his previously discarded shoes on. He was breathing a little quickly when he stood again to see Yuki just staring at him.

"Are you right now?" he asked with a touch of sarcasm.

"Ah…" Shuichi hurriedly glanced around the area and, spotting his jacket, also snagged that before it was forgotten. Not seeing anything else he turned back to Yuki. "Yeah, I'm ready." he said with a touch more confidence.

"Humph," Yuki half snorted, leading the way briskly from the theatre. Shuichi scrambled after him. "You'd forget your head if it wasn't screwed on." he said.

Shuichi refrained from replying because his recent performance hardly dispelled Yuki's statement. "I was still half asleep," he said in a small voice, a token attempt at defence.

Yuki just raised an eyebrow at him without saying a word and Shuichi subsided, trying hard to ignore the stares, smiles, whispers and giggles from the theatre staff still present.

Yuki paused on the pavement outside. "Want a lift?" he asked, hand immediately disappearing into a pocket only to return in a moment holding cigarette packet and lighter.

Shuichi thought about it for a moment, tempted to say yes, remembering Yuki's body warmth which still seemed to permeate his clothes. He flushed again. No, not a good thing. He was tired, still feeling a little sleepy, and liked that feeling of being close to Yuki just a little too much for his peace of mind just now.

He shook his head. "No, thanks. I'll grab a cab."

"Suit yourself," Yuki said. He raised a hand and waved a passing taxi down which pulled in. He opened the door as Shuichi stepped closer, tyring not to feel like Yuki was treating him like a girl. He paused, one foot in the cab, the open door between himself and the other man.

He looked up at that expressionless face, watching the wisp of exhaled smoke drifting from the corner of Yuki's thin lips and upwards. Damn, he looked good, was the unconscious thought that crossed his mind.

"Ah, well, thanks for the evening." he half mumbled, feeling awkward. "It was a good movie."

"How can you say it was good? You slept through most of it." Yuki stated bluntly.

"Well, the sleep was good then!" Shuichi retorted.

Yuki shrugged. "At least your snores didn't drown out the dialogue so I could hear the rest."

Shuichi rolled his eyes. "Anyway, thanks for tonight."

He began to turn away when Yuki spoke again. "Are you free tomorrow?"

Shuichi paused and looked back. "Uhm," he thought over his schedule. "Not during the day and it could be a late finish as well."

Yuki looked off to the side, as though there was something immensely interesting on the other side of the road. "Then why don't you come over to my place for coffee after?" he said abruptly.

Shuichi felt his heart thump hard, pounding in his chest. Could he be hearing right? Had Yuki really just invited him to his home?

"Sure," he managed to get out breathlessly. "I could do that."

"Fine," Yuki dropped the cigarette to the ground and trod on it, grinding it into the pavement. "See you then." He suddenly leant forward and brushed his lips across Shuichi's cheek, before turning and walking quickly away.

Shuichi's hand flew to his cheek, feeing the spot of warmth under his palm, eyes wide and staring in shock after Yuki's retreating form. He couldn't even speak, words caught in his throat as the blood pounded through his veins. He turned and almost fell into the taxi, his knees almost buckling under him. He recalled feeling breathless all the way home and sleep eluded him for some time that night – hence the tiredness today.

He smiled even now, feeling a little please and yet embarrassed. The kiss had been nothing more than a touch, fleeting and gone in an instant. His hand crept up to caress his cheek lightly.

Hiro looked on in amusement. He didn't know what had happened between his friend and old partner but what ever had, had put a permanent smile on Shuichi's face all day which was always a good thing. It felt good to see him behaving more and more like his old self, and the best thing about his friend had always been his smiling face.

"Come on, slacker," Hiro said, whapping Shuichi over the head with the papers in hand, startling him out of his happy trance.

"Ow!" Shuichi glared at him, swatting back.

Hiro was unconcerned. "Don't try and pretend. That didn't hurt a bit. However," and now he fixed his friend with a steely gaze, "if K finds you not paying attention to this you are going to be worm food!"

"Fine, fine, give it here!" Shuichi snatched some of the papers from Hiro and laid them on the table before him, leaning over and trying to make himself concentrate only on them and not on the lingering soft touch of lips against his cheek.

Yuki yawned widely and stretched again. He was still lying in bed, although it was past mid-morning which was unusual for him. He may not have been a morning person but he actually wasn't a sloth either. He just wasn't as hyperactive as Shuichi in bouncing out of bed at ungodly hours in the morning, whether it was for work or not!

He wriggled around a bit, draping one long leg over the side of the bed, enjoying the touch of the cooler air on the skin. He wasn't in any particular rush to get up at the moment. He had nothing urgent that required doing so he allowed himself the luxury of just lying there a little longer.

Suddenly the peace was shattered with a sharp, determined knock on the front door. He opened his eyes in surprise. He certainly wasn't expecting anyone and there hadn't been any messages on the answering machine about any visitations.

The knock came again, shaper this time, and he scowled. Forget it, he snarled to himself. He wasn't going to get up.

The knocking persisted, becoming more rapid, almost to the point of pounding.

Fuck it!, he fumed, throwing the covers back and standing, grabbing his yukata from the back of the door as he stalked out, muttering dire threats to the person on the other side of the door.

He unlocked it, yanking it open, to be confronted by a face that matched his own, right down to the scowl. Mika glared back at him, hands on hips.

"What the hell do you want?!" he snapped, wanting to just slam the door closed again though knowing better not to. Mika had a mean right hook when she wanted to and Yuki had felt it more than once in his hoodlum days although it hadn't made much of an impression back then. Except to give him a healthy respect for his elder sister for a whole new reason.

Mika sniffed delicately and tossed her hair back over her shoulder. "Well, hurry up and invite me in," she said briskly. "I have no intentions of remaining out here and making a spectacle of myself."

Yuki was tempted to say something but wisely bit his tongue, holding it in, as he reluctantly stepped back and allowed Mika to enter, although he made certain to slam the door behind her to indicate his displeasure. That didn't seem to have any effect on her.

Mika made her way directly into the lounge room, seating herself elegantly on the couch. "You can make me a coffee," she stated, placing her handbag on the table before her. "And don't make it too strong!" Yuki glared at her back and stomped into the kitchen, grumbling under his breath. It wasn't that it was really putting him out, he would have made the coffee anyway as it was always the first thing he did, but he hated being bossed around like this. Mika sometimes seemed to forget that he wasn't a kid anymore!

As the coffee brewed he moved back to where his sister sat and looked around for his cigarettes, spying them over on top of the TV. He made a beeline for them and immediately lit up. As he turned around he saw that Mika had done the same and was now leaning back on the couch, just looking at him.

"What?!" he growled at her, truly beginning to wonder if something was wrong.

"So what are you going to do when Shuichi goes on tour?" she suddenly asked, startling him.

"Huh?" was the unintelligent response that dropped from his lips. Gods, he sounded like that idiot!, he thought.

Mika sighed, "What are you going to do when Shuichi goes on tour?" she enunciated each word very carefully and slowly as though he was hard of hearing or worse.

He glared at her, teeth clamped around his cigarette. "I heard you the first time," he snarled.

"Then you should answer instead of playing dumb." She tapped the ash from her cigarette lightly into the ashtray. She looked up at him. "So?"

"I've no idea what the hell you're talking about," he said, turning away and opening curtains and windows. Immediately the room was filled with the distant sound of traffic. "He's just away working for a few weeks. I'll see him when he gets back." He turned around to look at her again. "Besides I've always got things I can be doing. This isn't anything special."

Mika just looked at her obstinate brother and was desperately wanting to throw something, preferably something very large and heavy, at him. Either that or stand up and stamp her feet and scream at him. Instead she settled for taking a deep breath to control such urges and tried again.

"I know you have been seeing him over the past few days," she said.

"How…?" Yuki began and then pressed his lips together. Of course she knew; Tohma would have told her.

He saw her nod with his understanding. "Yes, Tohma has been keeping an eye on things because he doesn't want Shuichi upset and unable to carry on with the tour. This is really important to the band."

"And to him!" Yuki growled.

Mika tipped her head to one side and half shrugged. "Of course it is. Why wouldn't it be? This is his business, of course he wants it to go well. But," and she stubbed out her cigarette fully. "that doesn't mean that he is not also concerned for Shuichi's welfare. There's a lot happening just at the moment and Tohma's concerned that it might be too much for him to handle all at once."

"So what are you saying?" Yuki eyed his sister with wariness. He wasn't sure what this conversation was really about.

"I'm just here to see how things have been going for you two. Are you okay?" Now she sounded concerned for him.

"Why wouldn't I be?" He turned away, refusing to look at her. Although he couldn't see her face he did hear her sigh.

"Come on, Eiri. Talk to me. I just want to know that the two of you are getting along all right. I don't want either of you hurt again."

Yuki looked over his shoulder to see her gazing back at him with complete sincerity and concern in her eyes. He let out a deep sigh himself and felt his anger begin to crumble. He knew Mika loved and cared about him. Her affection had always been a constant in his life, no matter what he did. And he also knew that she did actually have a soft spot for Shuichi as well.

"Things have been going fine," he grudgingly said, running a hand through his hair. He hated talking about his private life with anyone, especially where it concerned his family and Shuichi.

"Are you and Shuichi back together?"

He looked at her, drawing on the last of the cigarette before walking over to deposit it in the ashtray. "What do you mean by 'back together'?"

"Are you sleeping together?" Mika asked bluntly.

Yuki coughed as the smoke he had been exhaling caught in his throat. He spluttered for a moment more before he could speak again. "What the fuck business is that of yours anyway?!" he exploded, feeling his face getting red and that making him angrier.

"I gather that is a 'no'," Mika replied calmly. "That's probably good. I think it would be too early."

"Who's asking your opinion anyway?" Yuki stalked into the kitchen and poured his coffee, and after a moment's hesitation poured one for his sister also.

He held it out for her, ensuring she had a firm grip before releasing his hold. "All I'm saying it that both of you have gone through a hell of a lot lately and this is all new again to Shuichi so I don't want to see you both rushing anything if there's no need to." She sipped her drink. "Besides, Tohma doesn't want his head getting too muddled." She sipped again. "Well, no more than usual that is."

Yuki snorted, taking a large swallow of his scalding drink. "That idiot's hardly got enough brains to muddle!" he grated out.

Mika chuckled lightly. "So you always claim," she replied. "However you know perfectly well that Shuichi has brains, he just uses them in different ways to the rest of us!" She took another swallow. "Though I will admit that he seems to have calmed down a little from what he had been like before." She gazed into the distance for a moment, a small smile tugging at her lips. "I guess he finally has grown up."

Yeah, Yuki thought, drinking his coffee. He has grown up, and he still didn't quite know what he was supposed to do about it.

"Why don't you go with him?" The sudden question brought him out of his reverie.

"Huh?" He focused back on his sister and she frowned at him.

"Have you left you higher thought processes back in bed or something?" she glared at him, rolling her eyes. "You've hardly been able to put a coherent sentence together the whole time. Anyone would think that you had swapped brains with Shuichi!"

"You can leave any time." Yuki snarled at her.

"Humph!" she sniffed. "Well, shall we try that question again? I did only use words of one syllable for you. Why don't you go with him?"

"Now what the hell are you talking about?"

"Go with him!" Mika snapped with frustration. "You said that you haven't got anything better to do so why don't you take this opportunity to go on tour with Shuichi. You never have before so why not see what it is like? It would also give you more time to spend with him."

"What the fuck have you been smoking?!" Yuki roared in complete disbelief. "That is completely insane! I am not some 'groupie' that is going to trail along with some pathetic boy-band! What the fuck do you take me for?!"

"Eiri, you are an idiot!" Mika shouted, jumping to her feet and glaring right back at him. "Stop thinking of your bloody image and try thinking about what is best for you, and Shuichi!"

"What the hell has that got to do with it?!" he shouted back, leaning forward so the two of them were almost nose to nose

"Don't you think that Shuichi might like to see you take an interest in his work for once?!"

"Stuck with that idiotic bunch of people that he hangs with is not something I would ever do voluntarily!"

"Who cares about them?! This is about Shuichi!!" Mika had grabbed the front of Yuki's robe by this stage and was shaking him in her anger.

"What makes you think that he wants me to even do that? He hasn't said a word to me!"

"And why would he when you've never done it before?" Mika gave him another shake. "This is about trying to start afresh so get your head out of your arse and do something!"

"I am not doing it!" He slapped her hands away, stepping back out of reach.

Mika glared at him, real anger in her eyes. "Jerk!" she said sharply, turning and stalking to the front door, every step vibrating through the wooden floor boards so Yuki could feel them under the soles of his bare feet.

She turned as she opened the door and look back at him one last time. "You are sometimes the most selfish person I know, Eiri," she said in a low but penetrating voice. "Why Shuichi wanted to be with you so badly and put up with all your shit is sometimes completely beyond me."

She stepped out and, as the door closed behind her, Yuki heard her say, "You don't deserve him."

He remained where he stood for a moment longer, staring at the closed door, hearing those last words echoing around in his head. He sank into the couch with a groan, dropping his head into his hands.

Perhaps she was right; perhaps he didn't deserve Shuichi. He was honest enough to admit that he had put his lover through hell when they had first hooked up. He had been so screwed up it was a complete surprise that he had been able to hold any sort of relationship together, but that was mainly due to Shuichi's persistence and perseverance. His ability to bounce back from almost anything, his completely positive outlook on life, his utter faith and determination in what he wanted, were all things that had kept them together.

Without Shuichi's presence by his side back then he didn't think that he would have got better. He would have still been locked in the horror of his forgotten memories on a one way path to self-destruction. It was because Shuichi forced him to face his past, to conquer his demons, and give him something to strive for in his future that he had been eventually able to break free of the devastating cycle he had locked himself in. That had all been due to Shuichi.

And what had he given him in return?

He threw himself back in the couch and sighed. Well, he had given him the ring, and Shuichi seemed to have realized just how much that had meant. The idiot had just about been impossible to live with for the first few weeks after, he had been so giddy! But now…

He glanced down at his own bare hand. He had taken the ring off a while ago, back when he had thought that the best thing would be for him to let Shuichi go. It was safely tucked away in a drawer, wrapped in silk to protect it. There was no way he could have thrown it away. He rubbed his finger over the slight mark on the skin, a faint discolouration that showed that a band had once circled that digit.

They no longer had that sign of their commitment any longer. Shuichi's ring was forever gone, a tiny molten lump buried amongst the rubble of the crash. Yuki's heart hurt still to think of that. He tried not to think of it as some sort of sign; a sign that the two of them were over, that their bond was forever broken, lost.

His fingers tightened around his hand, squeezing hard, although he was unaware of the growing pain. No, he wouldn't take it as a sign of that. He would simply re-forge those bonds, reinforce that commitment he had made to Shuichi. He would do it!

He yawned again, feeling weary. Gods, that visit by his sister had just exhausted him. He glanced at the clock and grumbled. There wasn't much point him trying to go back to sleep, or even to just lay here on the couch for a bit. He got up, taking the still almost full coffee mugs into the kitchen before heading to the bathroom. Well, he may as well get ready for the day. He had some emails to attend to, some notes he wanted to make and also some shopping to do. After that he had Shuichi coming over this evening so he had better make an effort to clean the place up. It wasn't that the place was actually that dirty but he did want to make sure it was all perfect.

He frowned at that thought. He didn't particularly enjoy things like housework but he was house-proud so he did it to perfection. That would no doubt take the rest of the day.

He stepped into the warm shower. It would be good to see Shuichi again.

Shuichi walked wearily into his apartment, dropping his bag at the door and slipping out his shoes, leaving them lying untidily directly in the hall.

With dragging feet he made his way to the lounge room, falling lengthwise onto the couch with a deep sigh. It had been a long day for Bad Luck, long and tiring and he simply had no energy left at all.

He glanced at the clock and sighed once more. It was late. He pushed a hand into his pocket and removed his cell phone, staring at it for a moment. He didn't want to make this call, not one bit. But he also knew that he would be far worse off if he didn't.

Another sigh accompanied him flipping it open and pressing the speed dial number, bringing it to his ear to listen to the rings. He was half wishing that it wouldn't be answered, that it would simply flick to the impersonal message bank where he could quickly say what he had to say and leave it at that. The phone continued to ring and his hopes were rising that that would be the case but then there was click as the call as answered and his heart plummeted as a voice answered, "Yeah?"

Shuichi licked his dry lips and spoke. "Yuki?"

"Well, yeah. Who else would be answering my phone?"

Ah, yes, good point, Shuichi thought tiredly. He rubbed a hand over his eyes.

"It's late. What's up?" Yuki's question came to him curtly.

Shuichi sighed softly again. Yuki was right, it was late. He had better get this over with. "I just wanted to call and tell you that I can't make it tonight." There, he had said it. Now he held his breath and waited for the explosion.

The silence stretched. "Why not?" was all that Yuki said.

Geez, Shuichi thought despairingly. Now he wanted a full explanation. "I'm…." Oh, how lame is this going to sound! He almost cried but took a deep breath and continued. "I'm really beat. It's been a really long day." Now the explosion would come, he thought as he steeled himself to hear the 'Idiot!' that would no doubt roar down the line any moment.

"Where are you now?" Yuki's question was sharp but Shuichi was still surprised that there was nothing else added to it.

"Um, at home." he replied a little hesitantly.

"Have you eaten anything this evening?"

"Er…" Shuichi thought about it a moment. "Actually, no, not yet. I hadn't thought about what I would do about that yet. I've just got in the door."

"Then don't." was the short response through the phone. "I'll be there shortly and bring something."

"Oh," Shuichi's tired brain was trying to curl up into a sleepy ball while the rest of his senses were running away screaming in terror at the startling turn of events.

"See you soon. You had better have the coffee ready when I get there."

"Uh, yeah, sure."

"Good," and the phone went dead in Shuichi's hand.

He continued to stare at it in shock for a moment longer. Yuki hadn't seemed mad at all, he hadn't yelled at him once. Perhaps Yuki was really tired too, he thought as he reluctantly sat up and stretched before making his way into the kitchen. Yeah, that must be it. Yuki was also really tired which is why he hadn't showered him with abuse for cancelling. But that didn't explain why Yuki was coming over here, and bringing dinner as well. Although, he looked at the time once more, it was closer to a midnight snack.

Ah, who knows? He made his way to the bathroom. It would take Yuki a little while to get here so he had time to at least take a shower and hopefully that would wake him up enough to try and hold a reasonably decent conversation when the other arrived.

Yuki parked and looked up at the building, chewing on his bottom lip. The car was filled with the tantalizing aromas of what used to be Shuichi's favourite dish which Yuki only hoped still was. Did having amnesia change your tastes? He had no idea.

He stepped out, gathering up the bags from the passenger seat, locked the car and checked the piece of paper in his hand. Yes, it was definitely the same address. He looked up at the building again, wondering which window belonged to Shuichi. He'd had this small slip of paper tucked in the back of his wallet for a long time, a piece of paper with an address written on it in Tohma's elegant scrip. But for the all the length of time he had had it, he had never been here before.

He was now feeling extremely nervous about this visit. He had spent the entire evening pacing and smoking, waiting impatiently for Shuichi's call. He knew that it was likely to be late, but as the hours had continued to pass by his smoking had increased. Had Shuichi decided to blow him off? Had he done something wrong last night and scared him off? He couldn't think of anything, except maybe that kiss at the end, but surely that wasn't enough to have pissed the idiot off?!

When the phone had rung almost close to midnight he had just stared at it for a time. Was it Shuichi calling? It was so damn late. Finally he answered it and his heart had leapt as he recognized the voice at the other end. Shuichi had sounded very tired, he could tell that even through the phone, but when Shuichi said that he wasn't going to see him his hand had clenched around the hand piece tightly in anger. He _wanted_ to see Shuichi!

That was when he had made his decision. If Shuichi wouldn't come to him, he would go to Shuichi. He would see Shuichi this night!

He watched the numbers on the doors he passed, looking for the one that matched that on the paper in his hand. Ah, there it was. He checked again. Yes, it definitely was it.

He shoved the paper into his jacket pocket, moved the weight of the bag in his other hand a little, then raised his hand to knock. It hesitated just a moment as his own inner nervousness tried to make up its mind whether he should go in or just walk away. Pressing his lips together tightly into a thin line as his brows drew down into a frown he rapped on the door sharply before taking a step back to wait.

He didn't have long before he heard the click and the door swung open to reveal Shuichi.

He saw Shuichi look up at him, a small smile on his face. "Hi," he said.

"Hi," Yuki replied in kind.

Shuichi stepped back and beckoned him forward. "Thanks for coming over. You didn't have to since it's so late."

Yuki slipped out of his shoes and turned to face Shuichi. He does look tired, he thought, taking note of the weary expression on the other's face.

"Come in," Shuichi stepped further into the apartment and Yuki followed, glancing around.

It was a simple place, rather elegantly styled as well which surprised him. He always thought of Shuichi as being a messy whirlwind for some reason, yet when he thought about it even when they were living together he really hadn't been. Sure, he tended to leave stuff around a little more than Yuki did but that was more because he just had more stuff. He actually wasn't a really messy person at all. And the soothing décor was probably just the thing that Shuichi would need after long days of working.

He turned back to where Shuichi was clattering in the small kitchen, placing bowls on the counter so he made his way over there and put the bag on the top, reaching in to remove the three take-away packs of food he had bought.

He saw Shuichi's tired eyes light up with delight as he opened each and his smile turned greedy.

"Yummy!" he exclaimed reaching quickly for the first and scooping some of the contents liberally into the bowl before him. "This is just what I need!" He belatedly realized that he wasn't acting the best as a host and looked quickly up at Yuki. "Oh, sorry!. Here I'll dish yours out too. Just say when."

"That's enough." Yuki stopped him from completely filling his dish so nothing else would fit. "You can have the rest."

"Great!" Shuichi didn't wait for a second invite and almost dumped the rest of the container into his dish. Yuki could swear he could see drool gathering in the corner of Shuichi's mouth as he lifted the bowl to his face and inhaled deeply, eyes closing in bliss. "Oh, this is heavenly!"

Yuki reached out and began to scoop out some from the other containers also as Shuichi hugged his food in ecstasy for a moment longer before noticing what was going on. "Hey, you're my guest! You're supposed to let me do that!"

Yuki raised an eyebrow at him and continued what he was doing. "I couldn't bear to break up such a happy couple," he drawled. "I was just waiting to see if you were going to propose to it."

Shuichi stuck his tongue out as he picked up his chopsticks. "Yeah, right. It's not like you haven't got enough on your plate!" which was complete true as Yuki was just as hungry.

"Maybe, but you don't see me swooning over it."

Shuichi made his way into the sitting area and sat on the couch, already bringing food to his mouth. He chewed for a moment as Yuki joined him. "Just because I appreciate good food." he finally replied before shoveling some more in.

Yuki just snorted at him and began to eat just as quickly.

There was silence for a moment, broken only by the soft slurping as noodles were sucked up and the clicking of chopsticks against the inside of the bowl as they searched for the last morsels. Finally two bowls were placed on the low table before them, completely bare of any sign of having once been filled to overflowing.

"Ah, that was so good!" Shuichi exclaimed, leaning back and patting his full stomach. He let out a deep satisfied sigh. "Just perfect!"

"You're going to be sick later." Yuki said calmly, wiping his mouth elegantly.

Shuichi looked over at him. "Not on your life! There's no way food like that is going to make me ill." He suddenly yawned widely then gave a sheepish smile. "Though I think it will put me to sleep so I can digest it!"

"Hmm," Yuki responded, actually trying to suppress a yawn of his own. It was late after all and he had had a busy day.

"Hey!" Shuichi's voice broke into his thoughts. "You can smoke if you want, you know."

He saw Shuichi pointing to the table in front of them and it was now that he noticed an ashtray set at one corner. He looked back up at Shuichi who was grinning back at him.

"I put it out earlier when you said you were coming. I knew you would die if you couldn't have a cigarette at some stage!"

"Humph!" was all he said as he immediately reached for his cigarettes and lighter. He inhaled deeply, drawing the nicotine into his lungs and feeling himself relax a little, leaning back further on the couch, throwing one arm casually across the back as he looked around the room.

"So what do you think?" Shuichi asked him, noticing his scrutiny.

"Not bad," was all Yuki said.

Shuichi rolled his eyes. "You know it looks good," he said a little defiantly. "Anyway, I like it so that's all that matters."

"Yeah, there is that." Yuki tried to suppress the irrational spurt of anger that Shuichi didn't seem to care about his opinion but he was completely correct. Yuki's opinion really didn't count in this at all.

Yuki didn't know how he felt being here. This was the first time he had come to Shuichi's apartment and in many ways it was just an apartment, nothing special. Yet, it made him very uncomfortable. For some reason it felt so wrong for them both to be sitting here in this place. He kept finding himself turning his head and expecting to see his own place, his own things. He kept expecting to see Shuichi sitting on his couch, in his lounge room, in his apartment. It just seemed so wrong.

"Did you actually do the decorating?" he finally asked Shuichi, still smoking.

"Yeah, though with some help at times." Shuichi admitted. "I did some really crazy things to start with!" He grinned at Yuki, drawing his feet up and curling into the corner of the couch so he could face the other, an action that was so heart-wrenchingly familiar that Yuki nearly forgot to exhale the lungful of smoke he was holding. "I tried all sorts of styles and colours at first, using all these things that I thought I would really like to have, only to find that I didn't!" He laughed at himself, running a hand through his hair. "It wasn't that I didn't like all those things, I just found that it didn't seem to be what I wanted to live with." He looked around his room fondly. "I found that keeping it quite simple, with just a few touches here and there, really made me feel relaxed." He turned his head back to Yuki. "Of course, it was only after seeing your place that I realized that that was probably why!"

Yuki frowned at him. "What do you mean?" He reached out and tapped some ash away before sitting back.

"Haven't you noticed?" Shuichi looked a little surprised and then grinned broadly. "Geez, you are so unobservant! Have a good look around you."

Yuki let his gaze travel around the room, trying to figure out what Shuichi was attempting to point out to him and failing to grasp it. He saw Shuichi shake his head out of the corner of his eye and turned back to him.

"Yuki, I set this place up almost exactly the same way yours is! Don't you see? Even though I couldn't remember any of it, or thought I didn't, my subconscious must have so it made me create the same setting that I used to live in."

Surprised Yuki looked again and now he could see it. The way the furniture was arranged was almost the same, and it wasn't that it couldn't have been set out differently. Shuichi was right. He had made this place an almost exact copy of Yuki's apartment. He couldn't help but wonder if the bedroom was the same also.

He looked down at the couch he was sitting on and noted something else also. "You even chose the same colour for this." He stated, running his hand lightly over the material.

Shuichi looked as well. "Yeah, I guess I did. That was probably why it jumped out at me so strongly when I was at your place that you had changed it. In my mind I had been expecting to see the same old couch there, just like this one."

Yuki was startled to see the forlorn expression on Shuichi's face. Had it really been so upsetting for him when he had seen that Yuki had changed the couch?

He cleared his throat. "It was something that I had to do at the time." He said a little gruffly.

Shuichi looked up. "Had it got broken or something?" he asked.

Yuki shook his head. "No." He took a deep inhalation and then blew the smoke away. "It was just….difficult to have it there."

"I don't understand."

Damn it, Yuki growled to himself, feeling his face heating. The idiot's going to make him actually say it! He leant over and forcefully stubbed the cigarette out, refusing to look at Shuichi.

"I didn't like having it there any more. It was too…painful to see it."

Yuki remained leaning forward, elbows resting on spread knees, intently examining the wooden floorboards between his feet. The silence stretched between them but he couldn't look up. It was just too god-damn embarrassing.

"Do you mean," Shuichi finally broke the stillness. "That it was painful because you disliked the fact that I used to sleep there?"

"What?!" Yuki's head shot up and he glared over at Shuichi in real anger. "Don't be a fucking moron!" he snarled at him. "What the hell made you think that was it?!"

Shuichi jerked back a little away from Yuki's obvious ire but spoke up strongly, frowning back at him. "Well, I don't know do I?!" he shouted back. "You never tell me anything! All I know is that I turn up at your place after all that time, the place I used to live and you just casually tell me that you got rid of it! What am I supposed to think?!"

Yuki scrubbed his hands through his hair. "You are such a moron!"

"Don't call me a moron!"

"Fine then! Jerk!"

"And don't call me a jerk either, you dumbass!"

"Idiot!"

"Bastard!"

They glared at each other from opposite ends of the couch, both leaning slightly forward with one arm outstretched when they suddenly realized that their hands were actually touching, fingers almost entwined. They dropped their gaze down almost simultaneously before looking up. As their eyes met they both flushed and snatched their hands away, retreating to their corners once more.

They sat there for a moment and then both snuck a peek at the other, meeting eyes once more. Shuichi was the first to begin to giggle at the situation and Yuki couldn't stop the corner of his mouth twitching in response although he was able to restrain his laughter whereas his partner couldn't for Shuichi was soon hugging himself with laughter.

"Okay, okay," Yuki muttered reaching for another cigarette. At least that would keep his hand occupied so it wouldn't reach out and capture Shuichi's which is exactly what he wanted to do. "That was stupid of us both." he grudgingly admitted.

"Yep!" Shuichi agreed, wiping away tears, still smiling broadly. "Are we pathetic or what?"

"Humph!"

"So," Shuichi took a deep breath. "So you're saying that isn't why you got rid of the couch?"

Yuki glared at him. "What is with you and that fucking couch?" he growled.

"Because it is important to me to know," Shuichi said, his face completely serious. He fixed Yuki with his amethyst stare, those large eyes gazing back at him steadily.

Yuki let out a deep sigh, closing his eyes briefly. He knew that look. He would get no peace at all if he didn't answer properly so it was better to just get it over with.

He turned his head away, not able to look at the other as he bared his soul. "I got rid of the fucking thing because it fucking hurt to see it there without you!" he grated out, each word sounding like it was being pulled from his mouth under great duress.

He refused to turn around as the silence extended, the cigarette between his fingers slowly burning down.

"So you really did miss me?" He heard Shuichi ask quietly from behind.

"Yeah," he almost whispered, still not turning.

"Okay," and a quiet touch to the back of his hand startled him so his head did swing round to see Shuichi's smiling face. "That's good to know."

Yuki frowned at him, trying to prevent the tears that were prickling his eyes from falling. "Happy now?" he growled, turning to stub out the now burnt down cigarette.

Shuichi grinned back at him brightly. "Yep! Absolutely!"

"Idiot!" This time Shuichi just kept grinning at him.

"And you're still a jerk!" was his quick comeback.

He saw Shuichi glance at the clock and realised how much later it was. Damn, he would have to go. He didn't want to. It seemed that they were just starting to get somewhere but he knew Shuichi would have a big day tomorrow. The tour departure date was looming ever closer and Bad Luck had to be ready to go at full throttle and hit the boards running.

He stood and stretched. "I'm going," he stated, making his way to the door.

"Oh!" Shuichi was startled by the sudden movement and scrambled off the couch, following quickly. "Well, thanks again for coming over." He said as Yuki slipped on his shoes and opened the door. "And thanks for the food. I appreciate it."

"No problem," Yuki said calmly. "Knowing you, you would have just eaten junk food otherwise."

Shuichi grinned at him and shrugged. "Probably! But you do know I like your home cooking the best!"

Yuki paused for a moment and then quickly said, "So why don't you come over tomorrow night? I'll cook this time."

"It could be really late again though." Shuichi said a little uncertainly. He really did want to go but he hated imposing upon Yuki like that.

Yuki shrugged. "It's not big deal. Just give a call when you're leaving so I can get started."

"You're sure?"

Yuki looked down at him with a frown. "I wouldn't have asked you if I wasn't!"

Shuichi held up a placating hand to show he didn't intend to argue. "Okay, that would be nice." Then he grinned again. "Although I could be so tired that I might fall asleep and drown in the miso soup!"

"Grow gills," was Yuki's sharp reply.

"Aw, Yuki," Shuichi whined, although he was still smirking. "Are you saying you would let me drown? Wouldn't you even try to resuscitate me?"

Yuki looked at him as though he were examining a rather distasteful specimen under a microscope. "Resuscitate?"

"Yeah, mouth-to-mouth, you know!"

Yuki saw Shuichi's eyes suddenly widen as what he had said sunk in and he knew that he was thinking the exact same thing that he was.

"Ah, forget that for the moment!" Shuichi added quickly, waving a hand as his face flushed.

"Yeah," Yuki replied as he stepped into the corridor. He turned around to see Shuichi standing in the door way. "So I'll see you tomorrow."

"Sure," Shuichi said brightly, although Yuki could still see his cheeks were red.

He paused for a heartbeat and then leant down a little, uncertain if he was doing the right thing but as Shuichi tipped his head up it gave him more courage.

Looking down into that beloved face, he wanted nothing more than to capture those lips with his own, to plunder that sweet mouth that he yearned for so much. But he also knew that if he did that he would not be able to stop there. That one sweet taste would make him lose all his control and he would ravage the body before him, sinking into those depths, reclaiming his property, taking back what was his. He would fuck Shuichi until he couldn't walk and make his head spin, ensuring his mind was full of only Yuki and nothing else.

Looking down into that beloved face, he knew that if he did that he would lose everything and so he controlled himself, feeling Shuichi's warm breath against his lips one last time before angling his head at the last minute so his lips pressed against the soft cheek. As he moved away he felt warm lips brush against his own cheek, trailing over the flesh lightly.

He leant back a little more, looking down into Shuichi's shyly smiling face. "Good night." Shuichi said a little breathlessly.

"Yeah," His own voice cracked a little at the suppressed emotions. He forced himself aware, his cheek still feeling like it was burning from that soft touch, almost completely undoing his iron control.

He turned and began to walk away. "I'll see you tomorrow," he called back over his shoulder.

"I'll be there," was the response from behind, but he didn't stop and he didn't turn for if he did either of those things, Yuki knew that he would not leave and destroy everything. There was still time. He could wait a little longer – although it was getting harder and harder.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings:** bad language

Author's Note: Well, I didn't keep you waiting for too long this time. Lovely to see you all back – Kitty in the Box, Lily Evan Potter Black Lupin, kodomo353, geniusgirl, DarkMetalAngle, and all the other readers. I trust you will enjoy.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, they belong to the creator of 'Gravitation'.

Unlocking My Love: Chapter 9

Yuki snarled as he slammed the car door and strode angrily towards the lift. Who the hell did they think they were?!, he thought viciously, stabbing at the floor button. His patience was at breaking point so even the few seconds delay for the doors to close was enough to make the last vestiges of calm vanish.

"Come on, you fucking piece of shit! Shut!" He kicked out hard, feeling the sole of his foot connect solidly against the wall under the control panel as the doors began to slide closed.

He fumed as it slowly climbed its way to his floor and it was fortunate that it did not pause to collect further passengers. Fortunate for them that is with Yuki's foul mood at this time. Anyone who might have been unlucky enough to encounter him would mostly likely have ended up with a tirade of verbal abuse and, dependent upon what else occurred, there would be every chance that it would escalate towards the physical.

The ascent was taking too long to suit him so was doing nothing for his temper. He had spent most of the day closeted with his publishing company. At first he had thought it was nothing more than the normal routine meetings that he was forced to endure at times so had attended, albeit reluctantly. However things hadn't quite turned out as he had expected.

He stomped down the corridor, reaching his own door and cursing under his breath as it seemed that the key refused to smoothly enter its lock. When it finally did click and the handle turned freely, he yanked the key out and thrust the door back with such force that it connected with the wall that would be bound to leave a mark.

He strode through, a swift kick from behind slamming the door with a vibrating thud, then shoes were kicked off violently to lie randomly where they fell. Hard footsteps carried him to the kitchen, jacket thrown over the couch in passing.

He immediately reached into the darkness at the back of the opened cupboard, fingers searching before finding their goal, wrapping around the neck and drawing the bottle to light. A glass was set firmly on the counter top next to it, ready and waiting.

Yuki poured a liberal amount of scotch into the glass, tossing the first one down in one gulp, ignoring the burning sensation down his throat and into his stomach as he immediately refilled the glass.

This day had turned to complete shit!

He had awoken in a good mood that morning, stretching in his bed, thoughts of the night before still giving him a pleasant warm glow though he would never admit it to anyone.

The last two evenings had left him feeling very pleased. Even though Shuichi had fallen asleep at the movie he hadn't considered that detrimental to their, well, whatever you could call that they had. It wasn't a relationship that was for sure but it was still something a lot more than just passing acquaintances.

He could still remember how it had felt to hold Shuichi in his arms, the other's body warming his own. That had felt really good, and muscles that he hadn't even known had been tense had slowly relaxed. For the first time, in gods know how long, it had felt like he had finally been able to fully let go.

So, yes, he had considered that night a very good night. They had talked, traded barbs, ate and drank together, and it hadn't ended in harsh words or tears. In fact, it had unexpectedly ended in a kiss.

He felt his face grow hot with that thought. He could hardly believe that he had done that. He certainly hadn't planned to do so but it had seemed like the only thing to do. Standing at the cab had been damn awkward. How else were they supposed to have said goodbye, shake hands?

Still he felt extremely embarrassed about the whole thing. It was something that he would have expected Shuichi to have automatically done once and yet, now he thought about it, he had probably instigated just as many kisses back at the start of their relationship. Hell, their very first kiss had been his move so he should hardly have anything to be embarrassed about!

He threw back the covers and made his way to the bathroom, stepping under the shower once the water reached a comfortable temperature. But what had been even better was last night. It had felt like they had actually talked, although they really hadn't said that much at all.

That stupid couch! Shuichi had been really hung up on that. But then, he let the water run over his body, if he hadn't been then he wouldn't have said anything more either, and Shuichi had seemed very pleased to just even get that much out of him. He tipped his head back, running a hand across his face and pushing his wet hair back from his eyes. Stupid idiot!

He lathered the shower gel all over his lean body, slim fingered hands running smoothly over flat stomach, down long legs, bumping over nipples that hardened a little at the silken touch of suds. That slight touch sent a reaction straight to his groin and he groaned. How he wished Shuichi was here, right now! They had often showered together. At least they did when neither of them had a commitment to be somewhere at a particular time and had to be rushing off. That was because they would inevitable get side-tracked, and what should have been a quick wash would become a whole lot more. He could imagine Shuichi here with him so clearly, he didn't even have to close his eyes. Shuichi's hair plastered around his face, dripping; skin slick and flushed with the heat of the water…

He shook his head hard, growling at himself. Stop it! He scrubbed the shampoo through his hair, digging fingers into his scalp almost hard enough to hurt, trying to erase those thoughts although his body was aching to respond.

It was getting so fucking hard to not want to be with Shuichi intimately. Every time he saw him he wanted to kiss him, own him, possess him all over again. He wanted to lock him away in the bedroom and drive him insane with sex so he cried in ecstasy and couldn't walk. He wanted to know that Shuichi belonged to him and only him. His inner lust was clawing at him seductively, sliding sensuously through his mind, whispering bewitching words of desire, tendrils of temptation creeping through his soul enticing him to act and act now. Every part of him wanted to do just that, but one small portion of rational thought stood firm against this alluring inducement.

He rinsed the shampoo from his hair thoroughly and then ruthlessly turned the temperature to cold, remaining under the needle like pinpoints of iciness that rained down on him, teeth gritted together. He felt his ardour cool a little, which really wasn't surprising. It was fucking cold!

He turned the heat back up, sighing with relief as his chilled body began to warm up once more. He felt that he was a little more under control but all those emotions of need, want, desire and possession still bubbled just below the surface, just waiting for the moment to break free completely.

He stepped out and rubbed himself down, wrapping the towel tightly around his hips and made his way out to the kitchen for his morning coffee. He had to keep control of himself. He couldn't rush things though this slow cautious approach was driving him mad. He was used to just taking what he wanted, ignoring what he didn't, and always getting his way. This…courting, trying to coax Shuichi to spend time with him and return to him was just plain exhausting, both physically and emotionally. He tossed down his medication, washed away with a glass of water. He was sure that the reason his damn ulcer was still playing up was due to the stress of having to hold back all the time!

Still, as he poured the now ready coffee into a mug, picking it up to return to the living room in search of his cigarettes, it had still been a good night. He recalled the brush of Shuichi's lips against his cheek. Shuichi had actually kissed him back, that had been a surprise in itself. Perhaps he was getting a little bolder? Perhaps he wanted to be back with him again? Ah, who knows at this stage. And the damn idiot was going to be gone soon on tour.

He sipped his coffee, in between drawing deeply on his cigarette, feeling his stomach churn. He grimaced. Yeah, that fucking ulcer was definitely Shuichi's fault, he was sure of it! Just the thought of him going away and not being able to see him for some time made his guts clench in anxiety. He didn't _want_ Shuichi to leave! Was that so difficult to understand?! But he also knew that he didn't have any right to demand that he stayed either.

But things seemed to just be starting to get sorted between them. He was sure he could say there had been progress, if the mutual kiss last night was anything to go by. Okay, it was more a kiss between shy first graders or something just as stupid but it was still mutual. What if Shuichi changed his mind when he was on tour and didn't want to see Yuki when he got back? Yuki was sure that if he kept Shuichi close he would be able to convince him to return to what they had before, he was positive of that. He would make damn sure he convinced him! But what if Shuichi was out of his sphere of influence? They hadn't made any sort of commitment or spoken of any kind of decision so there was nothing to bind Shuichi to him during his absence.

Yuki stubbed the cigarette angrily out, scowling. He couldn't have that. He had to try and get some sort of…something out of Shuichi before he left. A promise that they would continue to see each other and talk when he got back. Something - anything.

Yuki sauntered down the street, moving with the flow of people on the sidewalk. He wasn't in any particular hurry, there was still time and he was only meeting Mizuki. He reached his destination and glanced around, spotting his editor at a table in the corner. She looked up just then from the book she was reading, a bright smile spreading across her face as she waved him over. She did not call out his name; that she would never do in public. Mizuki was always discrete and would be wary of inciting any type of disturbance by announcing to all and sundry that the novelist Eiri Yuki was present.

He sidled between the crowded tables, finally reaching the vacant chair opposite, and sitting. A waiter appeared immediately to take drink orders which Yuki left Mizuki to deal with. She knew precisely what he would want. She passed him a menu with another smile, then opening the other before her.

"Punctual as always, Yuki," she said. "I hope you are hungry. I'm famished!"

Yuki lifted his eyes from the menu he'd been scanning. "I thought you only ate like a horse when you were pregnant. Are you knocked up again?"

Mizuki laughed at his bluntness, quite used to it. "Of course not, but believe me the energy you expend in looking after a child is unbelievable! I have to keep my strength up."

"You'll look like a hippo if you keep this up," Yuki replied, a gross exaggeration as Mizuki had returned to her normal svelte self soon enough after the birth of her child almost a year ago.

"As charming as always, my dear author," she responded quickly. "I swear I'm going to buy you that book on etiquette and manners one day."

"It'd be a waste of time," Yuki said, looking up as the waiter returned with their drinks. "Are you ready or not?" he queried her.

"Of course, I decided before you had even arrived." She smirked at him. "You're the only one holding us up."

He frowned at her and rattled off his order then waited for Mizuki to do the same. She hadn't been kidding when she had said she was hungry, ordering nearly twice as much as he. Perhaps it did take a lot of energy to look after a kid, although he couldn't see how. When they are first born all the squalling brats did was eat, sleep and shit. How hard could that be?

"So what is this about?" he asked, picking up his drink. Mizuki was the one who had asked him to meet her today which was unusual in itself. Although they had been together for a number of years now it wasn't as though they made it a regular thing to have lunch together, at least not without a purpose.

He saw her frown a little, playing with the napkin resting on the table before her. "I don't know," she replied. "I was only told about this meeting yesterday myself." She looked up at Yuki. "You know there's been some changes happening?"

Yuki knew what she meant. The publishing company he used was currently in the middle of a 'merger', which could mean any number of things in the business world, most often than not a 'take over'. As far as he knew nothing had been finalized and he had been waiting for some time to be asked to sit down with them to hear what was occurring. He had been surprised that it hadn't happened before now.

He nodded in reply to her question and she continued. "Well, I guess that something has finally been sorted out and they're ready to tell us now. I must admit that I'm unsure why I have been asked to come along with you today. Generally they keep the discussions very separate between we, the editors, and the clients."

"Is that all it is?"

Mizuki shrugged. "As far as I know. They've been keeping this all very quiet so I don't know anything more than that."

"Hmm,"

Their lunch arrived then and they both began to eat quickly.

"By the way," Mizuki said, pausing to take a sip of tea. "I'm still getting a lot of queries coming in from the USA. There's a big demand over there for you to return and do a full book signing tour. Of course, if you went everywhere you'd be over there for years but a select tour route could cover a fair bit of the country and ensure that most people had a good opportunity to see you if they wished."

Yuki didn't respond. Since returning to Japan, Mizuki had broached him on this subject a number of times. It seemed that the little set up that Tohma did back at that book store in New York had been the catalyst for since then a number of prominent book store conglomerates had found a whole new market in his translated novels. Having his picture plastered through a number of papers had also apparently helped boost this interest. There had even been some offers from other publishing houses in the USA itself trying to get him to change to them. He had to admit that the offers were good but their condition was that he moved there also, something that he had no intention of doing.

"I know you don't want to go over there to live, but it could be extremely beneficial to you to at least go for some kind of tour, even just a short one." Mizuki added.

Yuki looked at her intently. "Why are you so insistent I do it?" he wanted to know. It wasn't like Mizuki to push him so much about something she knew he didn't want to do.

She sighed, setting her chopsticks down and looked back at him seriously. "Yuki, it's just that things are a little slow here for you. There was a big gap between your last few books, due to what occurred. And you haven't been around a great deal either. It will take a little time to regenerate the same interest. However, over there, that interest is already at a peak, with them clamouring for more. If we worked that it could escalate not just in the USA but perhaps spill over into other countries. Your books are now being translated into a number of languages so it could be an ideal time to look at promoting yourself more internationally. That way, if your popularity wanes here at homek, you will still have a number of years left on the world-wide market."

"I'm not interested." Yuki stated. "I hate that crap."

Mizuki leant forward, maintaining eye contact with him. "I know you do, but this could be a very good move for you, career-wise. Can't you put aside your dislike of such things just this once? I'm only thinking of your future."

Yuki knew that she was, however the mere thought of not just having to go through that debacle but leaving Shuichi made his stomach knot so badly he thought he would throw up. No, he was not interested in going anywhere!

He shook his head. "No," he snarled, fixing her with a fierce look.

She held his gaze for a moment and then sighed again. "Okay," she said quietly, resuming eating. "I won't raise it again."

"Good," he said, and the rest of the meal was finished in silence.

"So do you have any ideas for your next book yet?" She asked him as they walked to his car. He had agreed to give her a lift to the meeting as she could easily return home directly from there as it was close to the station.

"Give us a break," he grumbled, lighting a cigarette. "The other one hasn't been out that long."

"Oh, I know, I just wondered if you'd had any ideas yet."

"No," was his simple answer.

She grinned at him. "Try and be nice in this meeting, Yuki. Not every one will be as understanding as me, you know."

"Humph!" he snorted, not really caring.

Mizuki just shook her head as he opened the car door for her to step in. She kept her smile hidden though at his action. Sometimes Eiri Yuki could be a real gentleman, but he would hate it if it was pointed out to him.

The drive to the office wasn't that far and fortunately reserved parking was available to them which alleviated the problem of trying to find somewhere to leave the car. They were directed to the top floor where the board room was located. That wasn't surprising considering this was obviously an important meeting being held.

As the lift rose Yuki gazed out the glass side of the elevator, watching the ground draw further and further away as they climbed higher. He hoped this meeting wouldn't take very long. He wanted plenty of time to go shopping after. He had already decided on what he was going to cook for Shuichi tonight. It was a meal that a fair portion could be prepared beforehand and so when he called all Yuki had to do was add the finishing touches and it would be ready. That meant that it didn't matter how late it was Shuichi wouldn't have to be waiting around to be fed. The only worry was that he would be so tired that he would decide to cancel again as he had last night. Well, he supposed he could always go round to his place again, and take the meal with him.

He frowned. He didn't want to do that. He wanted Shuichi to come to him tonight. He wanted to make a nice meal for him and remind him of all the times they had eaten together just like that. Perhaps just doing that would make him feel at home again and he might start to think about moving back in. That's what he was hoping anyway. Or if things really went well, perhaps the night wouldn't end with just dinner either. That thought put him in a very good mood.

However those pleasant thoughts quickly evaporated when, upon entering the boardroom, he was confronted by at least twenty people, far more than the normal grouping he was used to dealing with.

He cast a quick scowl at Mizuki who raised her brows to indicate that this was a surprise to her also. He snorted quietly to himself. Yeah, Mizuki probably didn't know anything about this, he thought, stalking over to one of the two empty chairs whilst she made her way to the other, directly opposite where he sat.

The meeting opened ordinarily enough, with the usual round of introductions, polite bows and nods, exchanging of business cards and polite pleasantries which Yuki forced himself to endure. He may have hated such formalities but he was not so stupid as to completely ignore tradition and immediately alienate these people. He tried to always ensure that he maintained as best as possible a civil working relationship with any business associates.

During the course of these proceedings he found himself being introduced to a number of new names and faces. Further discussion clarified that the 'merger' that he had heard about had actually gone ahead and was now a done deal. So these people were now the majority of the personnel that he would have to soon be dealing with on a regular basis.

Now he didn't like surprises at the best of times, and changes to his work and livelihood even less impressed him. He didn't like feeling that suddenly this was all sprung on him with no warning and it was obvious from the shell-shocked expression on Mizuki's face that she too knew nothing about this. The way these events were unfolding made him feel that there was something more afoot, an attempt to put him at a disadvantage in some way, and that just made him angry.

Mizuki caught his eye and made a small discrete motion with one hand, a motion he easily interpreted as telling him to calm down. She would be able to pick up the small tell-tale signs of his disgruntlement even if no-one else could.

Fine, he stifled his ire and tried to remain just focused on the presentations being given about how wonderful the new company would be, blah, blah, blah. He sat back and schooled his face into blankness, letting it all flow around him, ignoring everything.

"As you can see, there are great initiatives in store for the Company and we are all proud to be a part of this new direction as we aim for a grand future." the new Director was saying.

Yuki hid a yawn with great difficulty. He still couldn't figure out why he and Mizuki were here. They were the only author and editor present, the rest comprising of the old board members, minus a few faces, and the new board. Since there were no other clients present he gathered that the next stage of the meeting would be specifically aimed at his own involvement within the company. He didn't see why it was taking so long to get to the point. He didn't care what went on behind the scenes as long as his books were published and he was paid. That's all that mattered to him. Who ran the place and what they wanted to do with their company didn't concern him in the least.

"Now, Mr. Yuki, I wish to thank you for taking the time to come today. It is a pleasure to have you here."

Yuki bit back on the rude retort he was tempted to make and settled for just a sharp nod.

"As you have seen there have been a number of changes already, with further ones to come over time as we continue to develop the growth of the business. One of these major changes is that we are looking at the reassignment of staff and we feel that you would be best served with another editor. You will find in the file before you the person we have chosen to represent you. I'm sure you will be pleased with them. They come highly recommended and have been with our firm for a number of years. Now," the Director looked down at the pages in his hands.

"Wait a minute," Yuki snapped, stopping the man from continuing.

"Yes?" the Director looked up, surprised at being interrupted in such an uncouth manner.

Yuki scowled at him, eyes narrowed. "Just what do you mean, another editor?"

"There is no need to be concerned. They are very good and their work is always of a high caliber. You'll have no worries with them. Now let's move onto the next point."

"I said, hold up!" Yuki slapped a hand down flat on the table, the sharp sound making more than one person jump. He could see Mizuki trying to frantically motion at him to calm down but he ignored her.

"I don't care who the hell you have picked out of your little cadre, Mizuki is my editor and has been up till now and I have no intention of changing that!"

"I'm sorry but our policy is that we allocate editors to the clients based upon our requirements." The man tried to end the topic again, but Yuki was not having any of it. After all this time there was no way he would separate from Mizuki, not after all the loyalty she had shown him, especially getting him through the difficult past year. That sort of loyalty didn't come from a business arrangement. That came from between friends, and there were too few people that Yuki called 'friend' and there was no way he would turn his back on that. And he had no intention of working with some stranger that he knew nothing about and having them becoming intimately aware of his private life. That was just not going to happen!

"I am not working with anyone else except Mizuki. She does a damn good job and that's all I need."

The Director looked down his nose at Yuki, almost sniffing with disdain. "Mr. Yuki, you don't have any say in this matter."

"Oh, yes, I do!" Yuki snarled, leaning forward and glaring right back. "I work with Mizuki and no-one else or I don't work with you at all!"

Yuki saw Mizuki hide her face with her hand, obviously in great pain or despair, but he didn't care. He wasn't doing this just to impress her or anyone else. He sincerely had no intention of working with anyone else. It had taken a number of years for the two of them to develop the easy, comfortable working relationship that they had and he wasn't going to go through all of that awkwardness again.

"Are you threatening us, Mr. Yuki?" One of the other board members spoke up.

Yuki leant back in his chair, radiating icy calmness. "I'm just telling you exactly how it is. I work with Mizuki, that's all there is to it." He didn't give a fuck if they were pissed off with him.

"That is quite forward of you, sir, when you have yet to sign the new contract?" the member said succinctly.

Yuki scowled at him. "What new contract?"

"It is in the folder before you - if you had bothered to look." There was an evident sneer in the tone of voice now which was making Yuki twitch.

He flipped the folder open and saw the document they were referring to. He felt his blood beginning to boil, the rage intensifying. Mizuki was also scowling now, a look that seemed completely out of place on her usual calm countenance at this heavy handed approach.

He slammed the folder closed again. "I have no intention of signing anything until my lawyer checks it."

"You are required to sign it now if you wish to continue to work with us, sir," the Director stated firmly. "The prior contract is null and void due to the company changes."

"That is not my concern," Yuki said. "I have a valid contract _until_ the new contract is signed. There is no clause in the previous contract that allows you to cease its validity without due notice."

He saw the Director's eyes flick to one of the other men at the table who Yuki recalled had been introduced as the new legal representative. This other man gave a small grimace. Ah, he thought with satisfaction. So he had been right after all. He actually couldn't remember everything that had been in his previous contract but he had hoped that there had been such a clause. Nice to be right now and then and pull one over the bastard lawyers!

"That may be so," the Director said, "but according to your prior contract you have been breach of the requirements in that."

"In what way?" Yuki growled, causing the people sitting on either side of him to uneasily shift their chairs aside a little.

The Director gave him a false smile which made him want to immediately wipe it off his face. "Firstly, during the long sabbatical you had you were not able to fulfill your requirements of attending the mandatory number of follow-up interviews and other promotional activities as set out. Secondly, you were well in breach of the indicated timeframes as stated in producing your latest book." The man smiled again. "I think this shows quite clearly that you have not met your current contract."

Yuki ground his teeth together, his jaw almost aching with the pressure. How he wished Tohma was here with him. If anyone could cut through this kind of bullshit it was him. The Director continued to smirk at him as were some of the other men at the table.

Keep smiling, assholes, he thought darkly. Tohma would gut you and hang you with your own intestines before you even knew what was happening, and all with a smile on his face! You think you're so good? Hah! You don't have a clue. Compared to him you're all amateurs!

However, unfortunately his brother-in-law was not present so that left Yuki to deal with this mess on his own.

It was obviously going to be a long day.

"So is everyone clear on what is required?" K asked in a loud voice.

A row of vigorous nods answered him, possibly having more to do with the fact that he was tossing his Magnum nonchalantly from hand to hand than that the people concerned really did understand.

Sakano pushed his glasses up his nose and looked at the three members of Bad Luck, a frown of concern on his face. "It is extremely important that you follow everything exactly the way it has been planned. Every effort has been taken with security at each venue, both on and off stage, but you will still be required to take great care." He wrung his hands as he said this and Shuichi rolled his eyes at this habitual nervous gesture.

A cold tap to his temple made him freeze in place, eyes wide as he heard a click that seemed almost deafening it was so close. "It would be wise for you to take heed of what is being said," K said in a quiet voice, leaning closer, pressing the barrel of his gun a little firmer against Shuichi's head. "If the ticket sales are anything to go by each place will be packed to capacity with more of a crowd gathered outside in the hope of scoring a ticket sold by scalpers, or willing to hang around in the hope of gaining a picture or autograph either before or after the show." He removed the weapon and crossed the room to lean back against the table behind which Sakano sat, looking at the three of them seriously. "Because of that it's going to be difficult enough with security. I've got my top people lined up and ready to go but you three are going to have to be careful."

"Come on, K," Hiro said, leaning back and lighting up a cigarette, moving over to open the window for the comfort of the others. He sat there, propping one foot up on the sill and making himself comfortable. "It's not like this is the first time we've been on tour or anything. We do know what to expect."

"So you think," K said a little ominously. "But the interest that the public is showing in the band at the moment, mainly due to Shuichi's new make-over and your new sound, is tenfold to what it had been previously. Tohma's told me to make certain that nothing goes wrong," He fixed each of the band members with a hard look. "And I don't intend to let anything mess that up."

Suguru quirked an eyebrow and cast a quick glance at Hiro, meeting the other's eye, then exchanged a similar look with Shuichi. So, Tohma Seguchi was insisting on this tighter security, that was a surprise. Did that mean that he knew something that he wasn't telling them? Or was it just general precautions? Who knew? Tohma always did what Tohma wanted, and everyone made certain that what Tohma wanted Tohma got.

Shuichi sighed, leaning back in the couch. "Okay, fine. Look, we've gone over this stuff a hundred times, we know what we have to do. Besides," and he grinned at the other two men. "You'll tell us if we get it wrong anyway!"

K suddenly grinned evilly, making Shuichi's eyes widen and he shivered in fear. "Oh, yes," K said almost sibilantly, "I will definitely make certain to tell you."

Shuichi gulped and saw Suguru was looking a little queasy as well. Oh, boy, this looked like it was going to be a long, long tour to come.

"Anyway," K suddenly stood and made his way to the door, Sakano behind him. "We've still got some things to finalize with Tohma so we'll see you later."

"So are you getting excited yet?" Hiro asked Shuichi as the three of them exited the room also and turned in the opposite direction.

"Yeah!" Shuichi replied enthusiastically, eyes sparkling. "I am! This is going to be just great!"

"Only if we get everything done on time and you finally get that last song right. You keep coming in a beat too soon, no matter how many times I tell you." Suguru said sharply, pushing open the door of their destination and making his way directly to his beloved synthesizer.

"I'm not!" Shuichi denied hotly, following.

Suguru frowned at him. "Even after I played it back last time and compared it with the recording you can still say that?"

Shuichi stuck his tongue out at the other and Suguru just rolled his eyes. "Oh, yes, very mature!", turning back to the keyboard and running a quick scale.

Hiro made his way over to his guitar, slinging the strap over his shoulder, smiling at his two bickering band mates. "Shu, you know you are coming in too soon so let's just work on it, okay? You just seem to get so caught up in the song that you forget to wait that half beat."

Shuichi grumbled as he flicked through the music sheets, not that he really needed it to read the words, or the notes for that matter, but it might help him keep the beat a little better perhaps. "Fine," he muttered. "We'll start with that one then."

Without further ado, Suguru hit the opening chords, Hiro's guitar blending immediately and Shuichi closed his eyes as he waited for a moment for his cue to sing.

"Yes! Finally!" Suguru cut his playing off sharply as he lifted his hands from the keyboard and Hiro played out the last few notes on his own.

"You did it!" Hiro said happily, walking over to give Shuichi a slap on the shoulder. "Congratulations!"

Shuichi beamed back at him, tired but pleased. It had taken them nearly two hours of practicing just that one song, and not even the entire song each time, before he finally managed to hit it spot on as Suguru insisted. He stretched his back and rolled his stiff shoulders, rubbing at the small of his back.

"Let's have a quick break and then run it through from the start one last time," Hiro suggested, slipping out of his guitar and setting it securely in its stand. "Who wants a drink?"

"I'll have a cola," Suguru said quickly, stretching his arms and wriggling his fingers.

"Coffee for me," Shuichi said with a small yawn. "I need to try and wake up a bit." He suddenly looked around him. "Damn it's got dark quick."

"Well, turn on the lights," Suguru stated pragmatically.

Shuichi bit back the retort he was tempted to make as he made his way to the light switch. He flipped it and the lights overhead came on, all but one which gave a wavery flicker and then fell back into darkness.

"Oh, great!" Shuichi muttered, noting that it was the one directly above his microphone. Without it working the others would only throw his own shadow across the music stand.

Suguru also looked up at the black spot on the ceiling. "We should call someone to fix that."

"That would take ages," Shuichi said sharply. "I don't want to have to just hang around waiting for them to turn up. I would like to actually leave here before midnight you know!"

"Why?" Hiro said as he re-entered the run, drinks in hand. "Got a hot date?"

Shuichi felt his face blush and turned away quickly, hoping that the shadows around the blown light would hide the colouration of his face from his friend. "I just don't want to be here all night if we don't have to be!"

"So what do you suggest we do?" Suguru asked practically, hands on hips, looking at him.

Shuichi thought about it for a moment. "There should be a maintenance closet some where on this floor," he finally said. "All we need is a ladder and a globe. We can fix this."

"Uh huh," was all Suguru said, not sounding at all convinced but following Shuichi's mad dash out the door nonetheless whilst Hiro trailed behind.

"Here," Hiro handed over Suguru's cola to him.

"Thanks," Suguru took it and gratefully began to drink.

Hiro stopped and leant against the wall, sipping his own drink. "We may as well just wait here," he said, grinning at Suguru. "Shuichi will let us know if he finds anything. There's not much point in all of us running around madly now, is there?"

"You have a point," Suguru replied, taking his cue and leaning back on the wall next to the taller man. "We may as well conserve our energy."

"Now you're getting it!" Hiro grinned at him.

Just then a joyous cry echoed down the corridor and Hiro turned his head in that direction before looking back at Suguru. "What did I tell ya? Shuichi would let us know if he found what he was looking for!" He headed off in the direction of the voice.

"Yeah," Suguru sighed, also moving. "But he's probably let every other person in the building know it as well!"

They turned the corner to see Shuichi struggling with a ladder under one arm, the end dragging noisily on the floor and leaving deep gouges, and a box marked 'fragile' slipping precariously from under the other.

Suguru and Hiro both made a dive forward, Suguru rescuing the box just before it met its demise on the floor, whilst Hiro scooped up the other end of the ladder whilst Shuichi still supported the front.

"Thanks, guys!" Shuichi said a little breathlessly, still smiling and looking very pleased with himself. "See, I said I'd be able to find the stuff!"

Suguru rolled his eyes and stood, settling the box in his arms a little more securely. "You could have waited till we got here before trying to move anything." he stated as they began to make their way back to the room.

"You were taking too long," Shuichi said, looking over his shoulder.

By this time they had returned and Hiro immediately set up the ladder beneath the blown light.

"I'll go up," Shuichi said, clambering up the first few steps. "You pass me the light, Hiro." he instructed.

"Have you ever changed a light globe before, Shuichi?" Hiro asked, a little amused at his friend's eagerness.

"No," Shuichi replied, looking down. "How hard could it be?"

Suguru was beginning to look a little alarmed, although Hiro didn't seem to be that concerned. "Wouldn't it make more sense to just call Maintenance and have the professionals do it?" he said, getting a bad feeling about this.

"It's fine," Shuichi said, as he now stood on the very top step, reaching upwards. "Stop being such an old woman and hand me up the light."

Suguru passed the new globe to Hiro who extended his long arms upwards as Shuichi bent down grab it.

"Shouldn't you take the old one out first so you have your hands free?" Suguru called up, beginning to feel anxiety build as he watched his colleague balanced precariously and trying to undo the original fittings whilst not dropping the new light.

Suguru glanced towards Hiro, who was now leaning casually against the ladder, smoking. "Shouldn't you be doing something?" he prodded him, pointing up at Shuichi.

Hiro just shook his head. "Don't sweat it."

Suguru took a step back and then determinedly turned his back on the scene. If he didn't look he might save himself from getting an ulcer. A sudden clatter broke his resolution and he spun around to see the old light fitting come free, dangle by one end for a moment as Shuichi tried not to drop the new light, before it dropped directly downwards. He held his breath, waiting for the shattering crash as it impacted with the floor, but instead it fell into the ready and waiting hands of Hiro below. He let his breath out with a whoosh of relief.

Hiro grinned at him. "See, told you it would be fine!"

Suguru frowned at him. "Well, I think you're pushing your luck!" he said emphatically. Hiro just laughed and set the light over on a table, well clear of everything before moving back to his position at the base of the ladder.

Just at that moment the door opened and Sakano walked in, staring at a sheaf of papers in his hands. "Ah, Shuichi, there were a few….."

His voice trailed off as his eyes rose to take in the scene before him. His eyes flicked first to Surguru, standing to one side, arms crossed over his chest. Then to Hiro, where he smoked with one foot resting on the lowest step of the ladder. Then, slowly, his eyes traveled up the ladder to the very top where he could see Shuichi standing almost on tip-toes as he struggled to fit the new light into the recently vacated fitting. The papers fell from his nerveless fingers in a fluttering rain of white to lay forgotten around his feet as his face blanched to match.

"Shindou! What are you doing?!" He all but shrieked in horror.

Shuichi looked down briefly. "Oh, hi, Sakano. Be with you a minute."

"Shinnnnndouuuu!" Sakano wailed, arms flapping as though he was attempting to try and fly to where Shuichi stood.

Suguru and Hiro watched the antics for a moment, Sakano was always good for amusement value, then Hiro turned back to Suguru. "So have you got any plans after the tour?" he asked the younger man.

Suguru shook his head. "Nothing really. I just want to get this over and done with and know that we're back on top."

Hiro exhaled. "Yeah, I admit that it will be a relief to have this first step out of the way. It's been a bummer having to put so much effort into it."

"That's only because it's cut down on your time to be all lovey-dovey with Ayaka!" Shuichi called down from his position above their heads. "You haven't been able to do all your kissey-kissey!"

"No comments allowed from the peanut gallery," Hiro said calmly, not even looking up.

"Who're you calling a monkey?!" Shuichi declared as he almost swung by one hand from the light fitting, feet scrabbling frantically to grab some purchase on the ladder as it swayed precariously for a moment whilst Sakano danced around frantically below, arms out in an attempt to catch Shuichi if he should fall.

Hiro simply raised one eyebrow, looking up, and said, "Need you ask?"

Shuichi managed to get his footing secured then stuck his tongue out at his best friend before dropping to the floor in one leap from the top, at which Sakano promptly collapsed in a heap on the floor in a dead faint.

Shuichi went over and flipped the switch back on and beamed brightly as the repaired light flickered into life to match the others. "Perfect!" he said, giving his band members the thumbs up.

"So what did Sakano want?" Hiro queried Suguru, as he fanned the still unconscious man.

The keyboardist glanced at one of the papers he was gathering up from the floor, reading through it and shrugged as he added it to the growing pile. "No idea. He'll tell us when he wakes up." He stood and placed the sheaf on the table. "Meanwhile let's go over that song again and see if Shuichi remembers to get it right."

"Not again!" Shuichi almost wailed. He looked imploring at Hiro. "Aren't you tired? Can't we just finish up now? I've already got it right once!"

Hiro just smiled at him, walking over to his guitar. "Then you should be able to do it a second time as well." he said.

Shuichi slouched towards his place, shoulders slumped. "Damn slave drivers!" he muttered under his breath, taking a sip from his drink as Suguru and Hiro ran through the intro and he launched himself into the first verse.

As he sang his eyes focused on the wall clock before him. It was getting late but if he got this right then he would still be able to get to Yuki's. He sang on with all his concentration then.

Shuichi was breathless when he pressed the doorbell, leaning over to ease the stitch in his side before straightening again. He waited, wondering what was taking Yuki so long to answer the door. He had called earlier as he had left the studio but had received no answer just the message bank, which had surprised him. Still he had left the message letting Yuki know he was on his way.

Now he was beginning to wonder if something had happened. Perhaps Yuki had been called away urgently for a family emergency or something. But surely he would have let him know if that was the case. After all, it was he who had made the invitation in the first place so if Yuki was the one to cancel it wouldn't he have told him?

He was just thinking that he would leave when he heard a click and the door swung open to reveal Yuki standing in the dark hall way.

"Ah," Shuichi paused, taking note of the state of the man before him. Yuki's hair was in a mess as though he had been running his fingers through it constantly, his shirt was half unbuttoned and half pulled out of his slacks, a cigarette dangling from his mouth. He was in bare feet, his house slippers still neatly placed at the door, unused.

"Uhm, is this a bad time?" Shuichi asked a little hesitantly. Something was definitely wrong.

Yuki stared at him for a moment as though trying to place who he was and why he was at his door, then understanding seemed to dawn on him.

"Oh, it's you," he grunted and turned and walked away, leaving the door wide open and Shuichi still standing uncertainly in the corridor. "Well, hurry up and get in!"

"Sure," Shuichi hurried inside and closed the door securely behind him, the place immediately plunging into darkness. Had Yuki been sitting here in the dark? What was going on?

He walked forward, running through his memory of his last visit to this apartment to determine if anything had changed that he was likely to bump into. He managed to make it to the living area, one outstretched hand finding the edge of the couch and he sat down with a small sigh of relief.

"Ah, Yuki, have you got a problem with the lights?" he finally asked, making out the darker shape of the other man standing in the kitchen.

"What?" Yuki snapped, then he moved and there a click and the kitchen light turned on.

There was silence for a moment more as Shuichi waited for Yuki to say something else but he just remained where he was, one hand lifting the glass it held to his lips. Glancing past him, Shuichi could see that there was no sign of anything cooking and there certainly wasn't any cooking smells either in the apartment. Hadn't Yuki checked his messages?

"Want a coffee?" Yuki suddenly broke the silence, startling Shuichi.

"Uhm, yeah. That'd be good."

"Humph,"

Shuichi watched as Yuki slowly moved around the kitchen, setting the water to boil, getting out a mug. The measured movements made him suddenly completely sure. Yuki was drunk. It wasn't like he hadn't seen Yuki drunk before. Shit, he'd seen him drunk heaps of times in fact, so much so that he was throwing up. That wasn't any surprise at all. But Yuki was actually one of these drunks that seemed to be able to stay in complete control, right up to the moment that they passed out. For Yuki to be having to take such great care with everything he was doing meant that he was quite drunk. When did he start drinking, he wondered.

"Is…something the matter, Yuki?" he asked a little hesitantly, unsure if it was even his place to ask such a question.

"Why do you ask?" Yuki glanced over at him, his face expressionless, as though daring Shuichi to call him a drunk to his face.

"Ah, you just seem a little….out of sorts." Shuichi scrabbled for something to say, all the time beginning to feel more uncomfortable. "Er, look, if you'd rather be alone that's fine, I'll go. We can do this another time."

He made to get up when Yuki's sharp voice halted him.

"Sit down!"

Shuichi looked over to see Yuki glaring at him, both hands flat on the kitchen counter. "I'm making you a coffee so you will fucking sit down and drink it!"

Shuichi slowly lowered himself back to the couch, cautiously eyeing the other. The hairs on the back of his neck were beginning to twitch with apprehension. Nothing more was said as the coffee brewed and Shuichi watched as Yuki continued to drink the amber liquid in the glass he held.

Finally he walked over to where he was and Shuichi steeled himself, every muscle tensing up as though he was the prey watching a predator pace ever closer, ready to flee if need be at a moments notice. Yuki thumped the mug down before him, almost hard enough to slosh the coffee over the sides.

"That's for you," he said almost sullenly, throwing himself into the opposite corner of the couch.

"Er, thanks," Shuichi replied, reaching out a little hesitantly to pick up the drink. He really did want a coffee, it had been a very long day.

He suddenly noticed what mug he was holding. It was the one that he had left here with Yuki to replace the one he had accidentally broken. Was it only six nights ago? He looked at the funny figure on it, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. This mug had gone through a lot with him.

"It's yours," Yuki suddenly said.

Shuichi looked over at him quickly, seeing him watching him with a steady gaze that seemed to be trying to peer into his very soul.

"That cup," Yuki continued. "It's yours. You always had the stupid thing."

Shuichi bristled a little at that comment but held his tongue, instead taking a sip of the hot beverage.

"Every time I saw the damn thing I missed you," Yuki muttered as though talking to himself yet Shuichi could hear every word clearly. "I wanted to throw it out, you know. Along with all the rest of the stuff. But I couldn't, I just couldn't do it. I kept waiting for you come back and get it, and I knew you'd be pissed if any of it was missing and you'd just scream and cry and be completely annoying."

"Well, if you don't want it I'll take it with me when I leave." Shuichi replied, wondering if that is what Yuki was trying to say to him, that he didn't want to have any of his stuff in his apartment any more.

"Is that your answer to everything?" Yuki snarled, leaning forward so quickly it made Shuichi jump a little. He hurriedly put the cup back on the table, worried he was going to spill it, before turning to try and deal with a belligerent Yuki.

Yuki was leaning closer to him and Shuichi could see his hands clenched into fists. "Is that going to be your answer? Just leave, just take everything away? Are you trying to get back at me or something?"

Shuichi moved away a fraction, not understanding what Yuki was getting at. Whatever was going on in the other's mind just seemed to be making him angrier by the minute and Shuichi was beginning to think that he needed to get out of here and let him just calm down.

He stood and turned to head for the door. "Look, Yuki, you're drunk. I don't know what's gone on and you're not interested in telling me so I think it's better if I just go and leave you to sleep it off. I'll talk to you tomorrow when you're more yourself."

He didn't hear a thing but suddenly felt a presence looming behind him and he turned quickly to see Yuki right there, seeming to tower over his smaller stature. He backed up quickly only to feel the wall hit his back, bringing his retreat to an abrupt halt.

Yuki crowded in close, one palm slamming hard against the wall by his head. Golden eyes glared down at him as though burning with a fire lit deep inside.

"You think you can just leave me again? Do you know how long I looked for you? How long it took? All the crap I went through, just for get your sorry arse back here?!"

Yuki leant in even closer and Shuichi could feel the heat radiating from the lean body before him as his voice dropped to a low dangerous rumble. "Do you think I'm just going to let you walk out of here without anything? All you've done is kiss me, if you could call that pathetic excuse of a thing last night a kiss even! You're mine, remember? I know every inch of your body; I know every nook and crevice. I know everything that makes you moan and cry out and squirm like a bitch in heat. You're mine!"

Yuki leant down now, capturing Shuichi's eyes with his own hard ones, daring him to try and escape him and knowing that he could still easily over power the younger man even if he tried to do so. He was sick of waiting. He wanted Shuichi, he couldn't hold back any more. He wanted to hold him, he wanted to feel his kisses, he wanted to feel those arms wrapped around him tightly, feel those hands roam over his skin, banking the internal fires. He wanted to feel that warmth, that love. Oh, how he wanted to feel that love!

He pressed in closer, intent on capturing those partially open lips in a searing kiss, to devour that enticing mouth. He would kiss him senseless and just pick him up and take him to bed. He wanted them to at least be comfortable for he intended to worship Shuichi's body in every possible way that he could.

Their lips were almost touching when Yuki froze with what he saw in those amethyst eyes gazing back at him. There wasn't any longing, there was no warmth or need or desire or want. What he saw in them was fear, but more than that was anger, and contempt.

He realized then that Shuichi had one arm up, crossed over his chest, blocking Yuki from coming any closer, preventing his body from touching the other, the hand clenched in a fist. He could feel the muscles in that arm completely rigid and those eyes seemed to dare him to try and go any further. Everything about Shuichi was saying in no uncertain terms that he had no intention of letting Yuki do anything else. The only way would be for him to truly force him, completely over power him and subdue him. However, the power and strength that Yuki could feel generating from that arm blocking him made it quite clear that Shuichi was more than ready to take him on and fight back, and it was more than clear that such an altercation would most likely result in injuries to both sides.

Yuki felt like he had been dowsed with a wave of icy water and he half stumbled back, disgust filling his mind as he realized what he had been trying to do.

"I…I…." He began to say but then his drunken anger surfaced again, as he was unable to face his guilt over his actions just at this moment. "It's your fault!" he snapped instead, his voice cracking, ignoring the other internal voice that was wailing in despair and screaming at him to stop before he destroyed everything. "You sit there tempting me, reminding me of how things used to me, holding everything back and never letting me have it again! It's your fault!"

Shuichi pushed himself away from the wall, automatically straightening his clothes, his eyes cold as they gazed back at the slumped man before him. "You," he said in a flat even voice. "Are pathetic."

He turned on his heels, brushing against the table corner as he side-stepped around Yuki, making his way briskly to the door and left, the door slamming with a finality behind him.

Yuki heard the door close loudly but what captured his attention was the sight of Shuichi's mug that teetered on the table corner, displaced by its owner as he had passed by. As if in slow motion it rocked twice then tipped, falling from the table edge, liquid raining down wards as it tumbled over, landing with a thud to the floor.

Yuki gazed down at the broken pieces, the cup split almost precisely in half, watching as the last vestiges of coffee drained out of the receptacle. He fell to his knees, shaking hands blindly going out to pick up the remains, cradling them to his chest as he began to rock backwards and forwards. What had he done, he moaned.

A single hot tear splashed down on the two halves. Looking at those shattered pieces he couldn't help but feel that this was a sign, a symbol of their broken relationship.

And he knew that this time, he had been solely and entirely responsible for this destruction.


	10. Chapter 10

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings:** bad language

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, they belong to the creators of 'Gravitation'.

Unlocking My Love: Chapter 10

Yuki groaned. He hadn't opened his eyes yet to the brightness but he could feel the warmth on his face so he knew the light was there. He had obviously forgotten to close the blinds when he had gone to bed.

Not that he could actually remember going to bed in the first place. In fact, he couldn't remember much of the night before at all.

However, at the moment his head was pounding, his mouth was dry, his throat sore, and his stomach was doing back-flips which were getting to the serious stage which would send him seeking the bathroom rapidly if it continued.

"So you are alive,"

Yuki managed to drag one reluctant eyelid upwards, breaking the hard grittiness that caked the area and the stickiness that seemed to be acting like glue to hold both upper and lower lids together. The unsheathed eyeball wept at being subjected to the bright sunshine as it tried to focus on the owner of that even voice.

Tohma stood at the bedroom door, leaning casually back against the frame, arms crossed over his chest. He wasn't in his habitual coat and hat, in fact his clothes appeared to be a little rumpled which was quite unlike him.

Yuki blinked, trying to push away the water building up in his eye and making Tohma appear like he was underwater, and slowly dragged the opposite eyelid open also so he could view the world from a more even stance. Now he could also see that Tohma was minus waistcoat and his shirt was open, the buttons undone all the way to the bottom so it hung loosely revealing a long portion of smooth white skin from throat to navel. Yuki began to get a bad feeling, a very bad feeling.

"Well, it does seem like you are back with us once more," Tohma straightened as he spoke, turning to face Yuki fully as he smiled, one hand raking fingers through his short blond hair, smoothing it back into place from its previously tousled look.

Yuki couldn't prevent the involuntary groan that sounded close to despair that escaped him as he closed his eyes again, blocking out the sight before him. Tohma half dressed, Tohma's hair messed up, what the hell is going on?! The bad feeling was beginning to fester.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he managed to growl out with his dry throat.

"You don't remember? I'm hurt, Eiri," Tohma replied, placing one hand over his heart and a wounded expression on his face.

Yuki just snorted and Tohma smiled at him. "Get your self into a shower," he said, turning away. "I'll have the coffee ready when you're done," then he left the room.

Yuki tried listening for the receding footsteps but couldn't hear any sound of Tohma's retreat to the kitchen. That man walked so damn quietly, which is why he was able to sneak up on people so easily. It was almost eerie just how quietly he could move, as though he wasn't even human.

He rolled over and managed to haul his aching body to his feet and make his staggering way to the bathroom. He let out a sigh of relief as he stepped under the warm running water, feeling it cascade over his body and slowly washing away the heaviness that seemed to be weighing down his limbs. He kept his eyes closed, head thrown back as the water rained down on his upturned face and through his hair. Ah, that felt so good!

He grabbed the soap and began to lather his long body. He still didn't know why he was feeling so tired or sick. He paused in his ablutions as his hand swept over a mark on his skin. He stared at it. There on the inside of his thigh was a blemish, a bruise. A bruise that hadn't been there before.

He touched it lightly, trying to think. It hadn't been there yesterday morning, he was sure of that, and he couldn't remember doing anything that might have caused it. The bad feeling that had begun to fester was starting to feel like a very nasty boil inside his guts.

He almost angrily rubbed the suds over the spot, hiding the mark. He had obviously just forgotten bumping into something yesterday. No big deal.

He continued washing, dragging the soap over his chest, moving down his flat stomach, up over his ribs to under his arms. He turned to do the other side and once again paused. His chest began to hurt as his breathing sped up. He stared in horrified fascination at another set of marks splayed across his lower ribs, almost reaching his hip. There was no mistaking those four marks and he was sure that if he could see he would find a fifth on his back.

He reached out with a shaking finger to lightly touch them; one, two, three, four. He spread his hand and was not surprised that their spacing matched so well. No, there was no getting away from it. These were bruises left by fingers, left by a hand gripping him tightly enough to mark, and in that place that meant….

His mind almost shut down as he was assaulted by a picture of Shuichi on his knees before him as he thrust inside the other. He could see where his hands were gripping Shuichi tightly around the waist and hip area, holding firmly to be able to control the movements so he could pull him back hard as he pushed in deeper.

Although he was in the shower he could feel the sweat break out on his forehead. Yes, that positioning of the hands on the kneeling body before you was the best place to hold, the best place to ensure that you could gain and give the most pleasure. He suddenly felt cold all over. Oh, fuck, what the hell happened last night?!

He stood there shivering, his mind still a complete blank, his thoughts skittering around frantically like mice trying to escape a cage when a cat had been dropped in and they just knew that their doom was approaching.

Now another image struck him. Tohma looking quite unlike his normal self. He couldn't have just arrived that morning. There was no way he would ever walk out the door looking like that. So he had obviously been there far longer than just arriving this morning to wake Yuki up. Tohma was half dressed, Tohma's clothes were not the normal neatly pressed suit. Instead they looked as Yuki's normally did when he had pulled an all-nighter with his writing and then just crashed to sleep for a day without bothering to change. Yes, Tohma's clothes looked exactly like they had been slept in, pressed against body and what ever else.

And Tohma's usually immaculate hair ruffled around his face and looking delightfully disheveled. Yuki could honestly admit that Tohma looked rather good all roughed up and not his general straight-laced appearance. It was almost reminiscent of the early Nittle Grasper days when Tohma's stage dress sometimes went to the sultry and seductive to match Ryuichi.

But the thoughts of _why_ Tohma looked like that again was making Yuki's blood freeze. Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck ….his mind chanted over and over again. What the fuck have I done?!

He dragged himself from the shower, still shivering. The water had gone cold whilst he had been standing there thinking and now he had to very rapidly rub himself down to try and bring some warmth back into his frozen limbs. He half stumbled back to the bedroom and quickly threw some clothes on but his fingers refused to co-operate and he fumbled trying to do up the buttons. He snarled angrily, snapping one off in his frustration. Shit!

He almost tore it from him to grab another but paused. What was the point? Tohma had already seen all his flesh so what's the point trying to hide it now. He glared at himself in the mirror. Gods, he's a complete fuck-wit. He restrained the urge to slam a fist into the glass to shatter the reflection gazing back at him. Instead he straightened his shoulders and turned to the door. It was time to face the music, and the mess he had managed to make of his life. Everything had just gone down the toilet in one night!

He made his way out to the kitchen to see Tohma just pouring the coffee. He looked up with his normal gentle smile. "Feeling better now? Have a seat," he said, turning his attention back to the job at hand. "Your cigarettes are there."

Yuki threw himself silently onto the couch and immediately reached for the packet and lighter, glad to see that his hands were no longer shaking although his insides were still churning.

"Here you go,"

He looked up at the cup that Tohma was holding out to him, taking it with a nod, still not willing to speak yet.

He was concerned that Tohma would sit down right next to him and was relieved when instead he took the other far corner of the couch. He watched his brother-in-law out of the corner of his eye as he sipped at the coffee with eyes closed and a small smile on his lips.

"So how are you feeling this morning?" Tohma suddenly asked.

Yuki froze, then took another drag on his cigarette trying to think of an appropriate answer. What was Tohma asking him? Was it good last night? He couldn't fucking remember!

"Not particularly well." He finally settled for, thinking that was true enough in all areas.

"I'm not surprised." Tohma replied. "You put away quite a quantity of alcohol last night."

"I did?" Yuki blurted out before he could stop himself, turning his head towards the other.

Tohma raised an eyebrow. "You don't remember?" He smiled more fully at Yuki. "I'm heartbroken, Eiri, that you don't even remember inviting me over."

"I….invited you?" Yuki was feeling sicker and sicker and put the coffee down. Instead of soothing his stomach the beverage was tasting like it was turning to acid as soon as it reached its destination.

"Yes. Late last night. Well, actually it was the very early hours of this morning if I remember correctly. You called and demanded that I come over."

"Why…." Yuki paused, struggling to find the courage to actually ask for the truth, for no matter how hard he tried to dredge through his hazy memories he could not recall anything after Shuichi had left him. "What…..did we….do?"

"Do?" Tohma gazed at him, a small frown creasing his forehead. "You really don't remember anything, do you?"

Yuki was tempted to make a smart comeback but the blankness in his mind was frightening enough for him to bite it back and just shake his head.

Tohma let out a deep sigh, leaning back against the back of the couch. In doing so his shirt fell open fully, slithering to either side of his lean body and exposing fully his chest and taut stomach. Yuki felt himself flush a little. No matter how pissed off he got with his brother-in-law even he could admit that Tohma was one hot guy when he wanted to be. He could give that Ryuichi Sakama a run for his money in the looks department, and he was most certainly saner! At least he managed to pull of the sanity part well enough to fool everyone! He quickly reached for another cigarette, trying to blot out those thoughts.

A soft chuckle made him look up quickly to see Tohma watching him with an amused smile. "Eiri, I think you might be under some serious misapprehensions. Although," and he now cast his eyes towards the ceiling as though contemplating something. "I am very tempted to leave you with them and see what happens. It would be very…. interesting to see if you would give in to your own illusions."

He then let out a deep sigh that sounded very reluctant. "However, that wouldn't be fair to you or Shuichi, and Mika would kill me." He dropped his gaze to meet Yuki's and grinned. "As you know, there are limits to what your sister would tolerate and I have no intention of pushing that envelope!"

"What do you mean?" There he had asked it.

Tohma stood and Yuki flinched back a little, almost expecting him to lean over and kiss him. Instead he just chuckled again as he picked up his cup and returned to the kitchen to refill it. "Eiri, from your reactions you seem to believe that something very specific happened last night. What do you think did?"

Yuki glared at him. The bastard was trying to make him say it out loud! He was damned if he was going to do that! He remained silent, puffing on his cigarette angrily.

Tohma chuckled again. "What makes you think that we had sex, Eiri?" he asked bluntly.

Yuki choked. Even though it was what he had been thinking, to have his brother-in-law actually come out and say it still shocked him. He stared at Tohma who just shook his head as he returned to the couch. "Come on, Eiri. What on earth makes you think anything happened?"

"Are you saying it didn't?" Yuki challenged him.

"I'm asking you what makes you think that it did." Tohma stood firm.

"Because, you fucking prick, look at you!" Yuki snarled.

"Me?" Tohma glanced down at himself in surprise. "What's wrong with me?"

"You are fucking half-dressed, blatantly showing off your body to me!"

Tohma frowned, tipping his head to one side as he seemed to ponder this statement. "Is that really so unusual?" he finally asked.

"Yes, it fucking is!" Yuki all but shouted, crushing the cigarette out in the ashtray.

"Really?" Tohma said quietly. "I had no idea." He began to button up his shirt. "I suppose I didn't think that much about it because when you were a child you had seen me half-dressed before. I mean Mika is used to seeing me like this. As well as with much less."

"I'm not interested in hearing about your sex life with my sister!" Yuki growled. Tohma continued to button his shirt. "Isn't that a little late now?" Yuki pointed out.

"I thought that you found it disturbing." Tohma said.

"I do, but there's not much point trying to hide it now, is there? Not after what else we've done!"

"Done?" Tohma paused as he was settling his shirt collar down. "What have we done?"

"Don't play coy with me! Or so help me, I'll rip your fucking head off!" Yuki leapt to his feet, glaring down at Tohma, hands clenching in fists. "You know what the fuck has gone on! It was probably just a perfect situation for you!"

Even as he said those words, he felt a stab of guilt. He knew that Tohma would never take advantage of him. Tohma was one of the few people whom he trusted explicitly. That is why whenever he wanted to drink himself into a stupour he would always shamelessly ask Tohma over because he knew that the man would look after him. Now he was attacking him. Just like he had Shuichi.

"Eiri, calm yourself. You're really not making any sense. Just tell me outright what you mean." Tohma kept his voice even as though he was completely untouched by Yuki's harsh accusation which only served to anger him more.

"You want me to tell you? Fine! Look!" Yuki opened his shirt wide and against his pale skin the bruises around his waist were clearly evident.

"Oh, my," Tohma responded, looking at them with wide eyes.

"Is that all the fuck you can say?!" Yuki was beginning to shake with rage, wanting to throttle the man before him.

Tohma waved a hand, indicating that Yuki should sit back down. "Don't go jumping to conclusions, Eiri." Yuki refused to be placated, remaining where he stood so Tohma just gave a deep sigh.

"Sit, Eiri," he said in a quiet voice but one that was firm and brooked no argument.

Yuki had heard that voice a few times. It was the voice that Tohma used only when it was required. It was a warning. Do what he said and pay attention, and don't cross him.

He was tempted to ignore the warning and just leap on the man and begin to strangle him although he knew perfectly well that he would lose. Tohma may have been smaller than he and weigh less and look far too effeminate at times, but he was all steel underneath and that small body contained not just a razor sharp mind. So taking a deep breath to regain some semblance of calmness, Yuki sat.

"Now," Tohma said. "We shall start at the beginning and go through the course of events of the night."

Yuki cringed. He wasn't sure he could stomach hearing how Tohma had fucked him. His stomach flipped over again. Gods, he needed his medication!

"To begin the proceedings you phoned me, as I had mentioned, just after midnight and demanded I come over."

"Why?" Yuki interrupted. "Why did I call you?"

"Because you had had a fight with Shindou."

So that part hadn't been a dream, or more to the point, a nightmare, he thought despairingly. He inwardly winced at the remembered harsh words he had said. He had really been such a bastard after all.

"From the sound of your voice I had gathered you had been drinking and you were also crying so I came immediately."

Crying? I was crying? Yuki was amazed. He didn't cry often so why had he been crying? Apart from realising what a complete asshole he had been.

"Oh, by the way," Tohma continued. "Mika sent over some food for you so you had better have it for breakfast or you will hurt her feelings."

Food was the last thing that Yuki had on his mind.

"Anyway, when I got here you were still drinking and very upset so I stayed with you." Tohma finished.

"What….else, you bastard," Yuki grated out.

"Else? Eiri, there was nothing else. I let you cry on my shoulder, which by the way is why I do not have my jacket on because you managed to snivel all over it which wasn't particularly pleasant. Then I put you to bed."

"And what did you do to me there?!" Yuki reached out and grabbed the front of Tohma's shirt, bunching it in his hands and creasing it further.

Tohma met his gaze evenly. "Nothing." he said with a tone of finality.

Usually Yuki would believe him when hearing that tone but his mind was still frightened by what it suspected. "Then how do you explain these bruises?!" he almost screamed with despair.

Tohma reached up and carefully disengaged Yuki's hands from his clothing. He didn't try and resist him in anyway. "Eiri, as I was trying to get you to stand up and go to bed your behaviour became a little….erratic and you managed to trip over the chair. I had to try and grab you before you fell, as at that time you were incapable of saving yourself. That is how you got those bruises."

It sounded plausible enough but...

"What about the bruise on the inside of my thigh?" Yuki almost whispered, shoulders slumping.

"That you probably managed to get when you fell off the end of the bed when you tried to roll over, and landed on some of your books piled on the floor."

Yuki took a deep breath and looked Tohma in the eye steadily. "Is that the truth?" he asked outright, almost pleading.

"Do you doubt me?" Tohma replied just as evenly.

Yuki gazed into those depths and knew that he was hearing the truth. Tohma never lied to him.

"Besides," Tohma continued. "Does your arse hurt?"

Yuki's eyes widened in shock and his hand automatically went behind him although he knew immediately that he hadn't felt any twinges from that area at all. Of course. He was a complete idiot. If Tohma had taken him last night he would certainly be feeling it this morning and there hadn't been anything.

"See," Tohma chuckled, rising again and returning to the kitchen, opening the fridge and pulling out some containers. "Perhaps I should feel hurt that you think that you wouldn't be able to tell you'd had sex with me. You know that I'm not that small and I do pride myself on my sexual prowess!"

"That's just gross,"' Yuki said more calmly, reaching for the cold cup of coffee. A hand closed over his and he looked up into Tohma's smiling face.

"I'll get you a fresh one," and he gently removed the cup from Yuki's unresisting fingers and took it with him.

Yuki closed his eyes as he smoked, leaning back into the couch, listening to the soothing clattering in the kitchen. He felt himself begin to relax for the first time that morning.

"So are you going to apologise?"

"Apologise? For what?" Yuki cracked one eye open and looked over at Tohma. "You're the one that didn't try and clear up the confusion. You know perfectly well that I would probably think the worse."

Tohma grinned at him. "As much as that was somewhat amusing, I actually wasn't talking about me."

"Oh? Then what?"

"Shuichi," Tohma said.

Yuki's hand paused on the way to his mouth. "What about him?"

The aroma of cooking filtered from the kitchen area as Tohma began to quickly warm up the food his wife had kindly provided.

"Eiri, I know all about it; every word and action. You told me in great detail last night."

"I did?"

"Yes, you did. And you," Tohma now looked across at Yuki with a hard glint in his eye which almost made him shiver. "Were a complete bastard to him. Are you trying to deliberately sabotage this relationship?"

"Ah," was all Yuki was able to choke out. Looks like he hadn't held anything back from Tohma after all. And it looks like Tohma wasn't particularly happy with him either. Not a good thing. He should have kept his mouth shut. Gods, he really must have been drunk!

"You were very drunk last night," Tohma confirmed verbally. "And you know what you can get like. Although I must admit that that is the first time for many, many years that I've seen you lose it that badly. Generally you manage to keep your temper under control when you are drinking."

"It was a bad day."

"So I heard,"

"What else did I tell you?"

"Well, actually nothing. You were focused on Shuichi the whole time. But I had already received a message from Mizuki last night so I knew about that as well." He placed the bowls of food on the table, taking a seat again. "That must have been irritating for you."

"It was. Very." Yuki growled, filling his bowl.

"However, it sounds like things are being resolved. I had another message from Mizuki this morning to say that she was keeping an eye on things and she's happy to leave it all with the lawyers at this stage to iron everything out."

"Good."

"You know they were only trying to browbeat you?"

"Sure, I knew that but they also did have a couple of points. Even moving onto another firm they could have caused some issues for me."

"That's why you've got lawyers. By the way, Mizuki also mentioned that a couple of your supporters from the old guard had been conveniently not invited to that meeting. Even without them they had a full quorum so legally they could have potentially pulled a few things off but they were making damn sure that your support base wasn't present. They were just flexing their muscles to see what they could get away with."

"Yeah, well, they've learnt they can't try and pull that stunt again."

"Oh, I think they have learnt their lesson."

Yuki shot a quick glance at his brother-in-law at that deceptively calm voice. "What have you been up to?"

"Oh, nothing really. Don't worry, Eiri," Tohma smiled beatifically at him. "Everything is going just fine. Your people will look after you."

Yuki still wasn't completely reassured but he knew perfectly well that he wasn't going to get anything more out of Tohma on this matter.

"So when are you going to apologise?"

"Huh?"

Tohma rolled his eyes. "Shuichi. Your bad behaviour. Your apology." he reminded Yuki.

"Oh, that."

"Yes, _that_. A very big _that_. I don't need you upsetting my employees you know, especially just at this moment. He leaves tomorrow remember. Well, in actual fact he leaves tonight."

Yuki paused in his eating. Shit, that's right. Shuichi was going on tour and it began today. Shit, he was going away. He was leaving him again!

The bowl slipped from nerveless fingers as his mind completely froze and his vision blanked out.

"Eiri!" Tohma's shout broke through his self imposed stasis and brought him back to reality. He could feel Tohma's hands gripping his shoulders tightly, fingers digging into his flesh as the man knelt before him, gazing up into his face, worry etched over his features.

"I…I'm all right," he managed to say.

"No, you are not," Tohma stated bluntly, eyes never leaving Yuki's. He continued to stare at him for a moment longer and then shook his head. "Go," he finally said. "For gods sake, go to him."

"I….can't," Yuki finally admitted, cringing at the mere thought of facing Shuichi after what he had done last night. "He'll probably punch me."

"And so he should," Tohma replied, standing. Yuki's head shot up to stare at his brother-in-law in surprise.

"What? Why so surprised?" Tohma said a little mockingly. "You deserve to be punched. In fact, you probably deserve a great deal more so Shindou has every right to do exactly that. If you get off with just a punch to the face, I would say you are getting off lightly."

Yuki couldn't get over what he was hearing. Not only was Tohma saying that he should be subjected to physical abuse but he was actually siding with Shuichi! Would wonders never cease?!

Tohma turned and carried the dishes back into the kitchen then glanced at the clock. "Well, it's time for me to leave you. I would suggest that you make yourself presentable and go and speak to Shindou as soon as possible. There isn't a lot of time left."

Yuki now took note of the time and was alarmed to see the digits indicating it was late afternoon. Where had the day gone?

Tohma collected his coat and hat from the hall stand, slipping his shoes on. "You didn't wake up till close to midday so most of the day had already gone by. If you want to speak to him you will need to do it quickly. He's not one to be late to join the rest of the crew. Not for the start of this tour."

Yuki didn't reply. How could he even face Shuichi?

"Eiri," Tohma's quiet voice reached him over the sound of the opening door. "If you don't go to him you will have lost him. For good this time. And you will always regret it."

The door clicked shut as Tohma left, leaving Yuki sitting there, thinking. Could he really go and see Shuichi? He knew where he lived, that wasn't a problem but would he even let him talk to him? What if he just slammed the door shut in his face? That's what he would do.

Yuki scrubbed fingers through his hair, frowning. Damn it! He had no choice! Tohma's parting words were far too prophetic sounding and touched a chord deep inside his psyche. He couldn't lose Shuichi. Not now, not ever, and certainly not over something like his own stupid, idiotic behaviour!

He stood and took a deep breath. Right, he looked at the clock gauging the time it would take. He would get dressed properly and head over there. He would have to leave now as he was going to get caught in traffic so it would be a slow trip no matter what he tried. Should he take a gift to say he was sorry? He grimaced, what sort of gift would be appropriate? No, probably it would be better to just forget the gift. It might look a little cheesy and Shuichi would probably be rightly suspicious of such actions from him. So scratch a gift. Flowers perhaps? No, even worse!

Okay, not taking anything. He would just go himself and say he was sorry, and that it was wrong of him for doing what he had done. He felt a flush of heat as he remembered being so close to Shuichi, lips so close as to almost be touching. But, shit, he wanted to kiss the idiot so badly!

He made his way to the bedroom. Even if he did apologise to Shuichi, what then? Just where did the two of them stand now? He was going to go away tonight and wouldn't be back for a number of weeks. What was going to happen with them during that time?

His stomach churned again and he grimaced. He had better take his medication. He felt that he was going to really need its settling influence if he was going to get through the coming ordeal without throwing up over Shuichi's shoes!


	11. Chapter 11

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings:** bad language

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, they belong to the creator of 'Gravitation'.

Unlocking My Love: Chapter 11

Yuki glanced down at himself; shoes clean, trousers pressed, casual jacket hanging loose. Perhaps he should button it, make it a little more formal? No, he mentally shook his head at the thought. That wouldn't make any difference.

He was dying for a cigarette, he hadn't had one since leaving home, which was very unusual for him, but as he was coming to make his apologies he thought that perhaps he shouldn't arrive reeking of smoke. Shuichi had never complained about his smoking but he did know that as a non-smoker he did not particular like it. So in an attempt to think from Shuichi's point of view he had foregone his usual indulgence during the drive.

He scrubbed a hand through his hair then frowned at his own actions, making a quick effort to pat it back down so it still looked presentable. Damn it! All he was doing was fidgeting! He needed a fucking cigarette!

He took a deep breath, straightened his shoulders, and rapped sharply on the door. He concentrated on his breathing, trying to keep it slow and calm although he could feel his heartbeat begin to race. Was Shuichi home? Had he already left? Yuki's stomach knotted at that thought. Shit! What if he had already gone?!

He raised his hand to knock again when he heard the rattle of a lock and the door swung open, and he found himself face to face with Shuichi. He saw the play of emotions chase across the young man's face; surprise at his presence, suspicion which was sort of to be expected, and then the narrowing of the eyes as the flames of anger flared in them. He saw Shuichi's lips press together tightly, forming a thin line, his brows draw down in a scowl, and the door begin to push close.

"Wait!" he said quickly, putting a hand out to halt the motion and pushing a foot forward also to try and jam it open.

Shuichi's scowl grew fiercer.

"I just want to talk," Yuki grated out, knowing he wasn't exactly sounding like the supplicant that he was begging for mercy but he couldn't help that. He just couldn't bring himself to plead for forgiveness whilst he was standing in the hallway for anyone to see and hear!

He saw Shuichi hesitate a moment, saw the fingers flex on the edge of the door as though it was about to be forcibly slammed shut, whilst the other hand clenched into a fist. Okay, that is more what he had been expecting; Shuichi smashing him in the face or else kicking him in the balls.

"If you want to hit me, go ahead," he said, not moving, determined not to release his hold on the door. Whatever happened he had to keep that door open, prevent it from closing and separating them. He knew that if he let that happen it would all be over, no going back. So no matter what occurred he had to stand fast and keep that barrier at bay. For whilst they were still able to see each, look in each other's eyes, communicate in some way, there was just a chance that they might be able to work through this.

"But if you're going to hit me, can you at least invite me in first and then kick the shit out of me? I don't think your landlord would appreciate having to clean up the blood in the hallway and I'm sure you don't want to attract any undue attention."

He felt the pressure increase against his hand pressed against the door. He wasn't getting through. If Shuichi threw all his weight behind that door he'd be pushed back and that would it. Or he would be unlucky enough that his foot would be caught in the door and his ankle broken. Either way he was screwed.

Suddenly the pressure eased as Shuichi stepped back, releasing the door and he half stumbled forward a few steps. Shuichi stayed well clear of him and the anger had not left his face.

"Say what you have to say then get out." He turned away and moved off down the hall. "Close the door."

Yuki carefully closed the door, although he was having a hard time keeping rein on his own building temper which was urging him to slam it shut loudly. He then turned and followed Shuichi into the room he had disappeared into.

When he entered he was surprised to find it was Shuichi's bedroom. After what had happened last night he wouldn't have thought that he would have wanted him anywhere near this kind of room with him. He watched as Shuichi moved around the room, opening drawers and closet, removing clothing. Other articles were already strewn over the bed; obviously he had interrupted him in the middle of his packing.

Shuichi kept his back turned. He couldn't face this man. Even now he was regretting that moment of weakness that allowed him to enter his apartment.

Although he didn't want to face him, it was also nerve-racking to keep his back turned as well after the events of the previous night. His nerves twitched, ears straining for every sound, trying to sense any change in air pressure that would indicate that Yuki had moved closer; that he was coming at him again.

He suppressed a shudder. Last night had brought up some other nasty memories. Thank goodness that Yuki had stopped when he had and nothing more had happened. He didn't want Yuki's face to be interchangeable with Taki's and those others.

Still it had all been quite frightening, even though at the time he had been more angry than scared. Angry that Yuki had dared to even think that he could try something like that, that he could think for one moment that he would let him. Still, by the time he had returned home, thrown some cushions around violently which was far better than letting loose on more breakable items, he had calmed down enough to think it through a little better.

It was then that he realised that if things had been the same, it probably wouldn't have been that bad. Yuki hadn't actually hurt him. Not physically. He hadn't even actually touched him, only used his body to crowd him against the wall. He had been about to kiss him, that was, oh, so very evident but he had stopped at the last moment. If they had been still together and nothing had changed, he would have let Yuki kiss him and it most definitely would have led to other things, of that he had no doubt. He knew what it had been like between them before. He knew what would have happened.

But things weren't like before. That was the difference. He and Yuki were not together, they weren't a couple and Yuki did not have the right to expect anything from him, or try and take it. Still, he had been glad that Yuki hadn't actually touched him in any way. Not like before….with Taki.

Yet in some ways, it had almost felt worse than that time. Yuki's sudden aggressive behaviour had shocked him. Not so much the drunkenness, but the raw emotion that seemed to be bubbling to the surface in the other man. That had been unexpected…and a little frightening.

He was angry at himself for having been so happy to be seeing Yuki that night. He had _wanted_ to see the man, so what he had found had been more than a little upsetting. It wasn't exactly the way he had envisioned the evening going. Certainly a far cry from a nice dinner, good conversation and, he had hoped, perhaps a small kiss?

He knew he was going to be leaving today and so had really wanted to see Yuki before doing so, and had hoped that the sudden invite had been because Yuki had wanted to see him as well before they were separated again.

Now, well, all it showed was that his impending departure wasn't what had been on Yuki's mind at all. He probably wasn't even bothered by it, that's if he had even thought of it. He had showed very clearly what he was interested in.

Shuichi felt a little ill again at that thought, just as he had last night when he had first got home. He had thought that what he and Yuki had been sharing over this past week was so much more, that they were actually going somewhere. Sure it wasn't racing along like a bullet train, but it had seemed that they had been making some progress. He had thought it was a difficult for Yuki as it was for him, not knowing what to do, wondering if the past was clouding the present. Everything that seemed to be going so well. Right up to that small kiss they had shared.

Even now the thought of it warmed his cheeks although it didn't reduce his anger. Obviously that small kiss had meant nothing at all to Yuki though. It had probably been nothing more than just a ploy to try and get past his defenses, make him think there was more there than there was. And he had almost been stupid enough to fall for it as well!

The hateful words that Yuki had shouted at him last night replayed through his mind and he ground his teeth. Oh, yes, he had made it quite clear that all he wanted was to just screw and that was it! He didn't care about anything else!

Shuichi tried to get control over his roiling emotions. Calm, he had to keep calm. He couldn't show any sign of weakness around this fiend! He felt nothing now but disgust. Yuki had no idea about anyone else's feelings, not about anything, as long as he got what he wanted when he wanted it. That in a way irked Shuichi the most, that Yuki couldn't even wait for the right moment. He had no idea of romance, or caring about someone else! What a bastard!

"Hurry up, I don't have all day," Shuichi's cold voice startled Yuki, more from the tone than the suddenness of it.

He licked his lips, although he refused to admit that they might be dry from nervousness. What to say? How to start? He rubbed a hand over his face trying to think of something, anything that wouldn't just make things worse.

"Well?" Shuichi paused in his actions, turning to look at him, arms crossed firmly over his chest. His voice may have been cold but his glare was hot, hot enough to sear Yuki to the bone if it had been generating any real heat. Yeah, the brat was pissed at him. Well, he did have good reason this time, he grudgingly admitted.

"Are you going to hit me first?" Yuki finally asked.

"What?" Shuichi now looked surprised, and a little confused.

"Well," Yuki leant against the doorframe. "If you are, I would rather know if I'm expected to try and talk afterwards through broken teeth, split lips, or a blood nose. Do you have some ice packs? I'll get some ready if that's the case."

Shuichi was looking at him now as though he had completely lost his mind. Well, it was at least a little better than the constant glare, he supposed.

"Are you crazy?" Shuichi finally asked, looking at him a little closer although he didn't move from where he was standing. "You're drunk, aren't you?"

"Not any more," More's the pity, he thought. At least if he was really drunk he could just pass out and not be putting himself through this misery.

"Really?" Shuichi turned away and folded a couple of more things into the bag on the bed. "So how drunk were you last night?"

"Very," Yuki admitted. "And it got worse."

"Worse?" Shuichi looked over his shoulder, surprise evident. "You kept drinking after that?"

"Apparently," Yuki replied with a grimace.

His stomach suddenly gave a very dangerous lurch, churning loudly enough for them both to hear. He winced a little as he placed a hand over it. Sometimes he could swear that he could feel the acid eating away at his body.

"It's playing up again?"

Oh, that's right, Yuki suddenly realised. He doesn't know that the ulcer had come back with a vengeance.

"Yeah," was all he said. He didn't want to make it sound like he was blaming Shuichi for his current medical problem.

"Are you taking your medication?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Shuichi snorted. "Right," he said sarcastically, returning a couple of things back to the closet. "You never did take your medication correctly, always trying to avoid it which caused you half your problems. You're probably still doing it."

"No, I've been doing the right thing." Yuki shrugged. "I just don't like taking it."

"We all have to do things we don't like."

"Yeah,"

Yuki watched as Shuichi carefully hung the three shirts he was holding, smoothing them down before closing the closet door. It was a far cry from the teenager who used to just dump his clothing in a pile in the corner and would just shake the creases out to wear it the next day.

"So are you still mad at me?"

"Yes," Shuichi replied simply as he returned to his packing.

"You should be."

"I know."

There was silence for a moment. "I'm sorry."

Silence again.

"For what?" Shuichi kept his back turned, although his voice was soft.

"For treating you like that. For blaming you for things that aren't your fault. For taking things out on you because I'm pissed off with them. For being an asshole."

"That's a pretty long list."

"Yeah, well, you know me. I don't do things by halves."

Yuki heard him give a soft chuckle. "Yeah, that at least is true."

Suddenly Shuichi turned around to face him. "So why did you do that?" he asked bluntly, looking intently at him.

Yuki gnawed on his bottom lip for a moment, his brows drawing down in a frown. A part of him wanted to ignore Shuichi's question, to avoid it completely as he would do for most people but he knew he was treading on very, very thin ice here. One false step and it would all be over.

"I'm a dickhead."

"That goes without saying, but it doesn't fully explain what happened last night."

Yuki was amused at Shuichi's off-handed way of accepting his comment. Damn it, the idiot really did have a backbone!

He took a deep breath and let it out, turning his head away. He couldn't look in Shuichi's eyes when he said this. It was too embarrassing. He knew he had done the wrong thing, but it didn't make it any easier to actually admit it.

"I'd had a really bad day, work related," he began, shoving his hands into his pockets. "I started drinking thinking it would make me forget it all, instead it just put me in a fouler mood."

"Why did you do that? You knew that I was coming around."

"I was only going to have a couple," Yuki insisted. "But the worse my mood got, the more I kept drinking."

"So why didn't you call me and cancel?" Shuichi demanded. "I wasn't going over there at that time of night to put up with your lousy crap!"

"I know!" Yuki almost shouted, now looking directly at Shuichi. They both glared at each other. "I know that. But I still wanted to see you!"

There, it was said. They remained where they were, eyes locked, each searching for the truth and uncertain still if they were finding it.

"If you were so interested in seeing me, why the fuck did you act like a psycho rapist?!!!"

This time Shuichi did move, closing the short distance between them and grabbing the throat of Yuki's shirt, bunching it in one fist. He was too short to do anything as threatening as lift Yuki's feet off the ground, but he could push him backwards which propelled them through the bedroom doorway until he was pressed back against the wall in the hallway, where Yuki's back met it with a hard thump.

"Because I'm an idiot!" Yuki shouted right back, the force of his breath pushing Shuichi's hair from his forehead. "I'm a fucking moronic loser, that's why!"

He saw Shuichi's lips twitch a little and then his head dropped so he could no longer see his face. He then heard the low laughter, saw the shoulders shake slightly as the pressure at his neck loosened. When Shuichi raised his head again, he could see the humour shining in the eyes.

"You know, I never thought I would hear the day when you would admit that you were a loser. And a moronic one at that."

"And you won't again," Yuki growled, "so make the most of the moment."

"Oh, I am. I just wish I had recorded it. I would love to have it and play it back to you whenever you get out of hand again."

Yuki caught his breath at that last statement. Could it be…..

"Again?" was all he managed to say, that one word asking a multitude of questions that he was afraid to voice.

Shuichi let him go and stepped back, crossing his arms over his chest again although this time he was no longer scowling, if anything he looked a little sad. "Do you really find it that hard to be around me?" he asked in an even voice.

"No!" Yuki blurted out.

"But you said last night…"

"No, look, just forget it."

"I can't," Shuichi's quiet tone stopped Yuki. He was right. He couldn't just forget it. Yuki had said it, now it was up to him to make him understand.

Yuki ran a hand through his hair again, not caring that it was beginning to stick up on end which is how it usually looked after he had been hard at work in his office. Shuichi was amused by this but refrained from saying anything.

"Look, yes, I'll admit that it's…hard to be around you sometimes. But it's not because I don't want to be. That's the problem. No, it's not a problem. What I mean is that it's my problem because I just want more from you."

"Like sex."

"Yes, I mean, no. I mean…oh, shit!" Yuki snarled and swung back-hand so his fist slammed into the wall at his side.

He tried to get a grip on his thoughts and words. This was so important, he had to try and get Shuichi to understand him properly. "I want us to be together again. Like we were before, that's what I mean. And, yes, if you want to know if that means sex, then yes it does. We did do that before, remember?"

"I remember,"

Yuki couldn't tell from his tone if that was a good or bad memory for him and he wasn't too sure he wanted to know.

"That's why it's sometimes hard for me to be around you. I want it to be the same as it used to be and sometimes when we're together it almost seems like that again but then something happens or something gets said and I suddenly realise that it's all different."

"But things are different,"

Yuki felt himself go cold all over. Was Shuichi telling him that it was over, already? Again? Was he saying that he didn't want to get back together?

"Yuki, the sooner you understand this the better it will be for both of us. We can't go back."

Yuki watched as Shuichi turned and re-entered the bedroom, striding across to the bed and picking up some clothing and this time just stuffing it into the bag. He couldn't move from the spot he stood, frozen there in despair.

Shuichi continued to speak. "A lot has happened, Yuki. To me. I've done a lot of different things and I've done them on my own. I'm not the same as I was when I left here last."

He turned slowly and sat on the bed, looking through the door at where Yuki still stood. His face was sad. "You don't seem to be able to see that. You keep wanting your 'old Shuichi' back but I'm not him anymore. I'm me - here and now is the person I am. But you don't see that."

"I…" Yuki swallowed to clear his throat and walked slowly forward, cautiously entering the room but pausing again just over the threshold. "I know you're not the same."

"Then why do you still keep trying to keep me the way I was?" Shuichi looked up at him. "Why do you still seem to always be chasing after a dream from the past? I'm right in front of you now!"

Yuki took another couple of steps forward, paused again, and then slowly seated himself beside the young man, keeping a distance between them.

"You're probably right," he finally admitted, almost whispering. "I am probably still seeing you as you once were." He glanced over at his partner. "I….find it hard to know what the changes are in you. I wasn't around to see those changes. I wasn't there with you."

"I know," Shuichi replied softly, hands loosely clasped between his knees.

"It's not that I don't like you the way you are now," Yuki continued. "I do. I know there are changes; every time I see you or speak to you I notice them but I'm just not sure how to…respond. I used to know exactly what you would do or say to things, now it is all a mystery."

"Is that really that bad?" Shuichi looked over at him.

Yuki scratched at his cheek absently. "Not bad, exactly. Unnerving."

"Is that what's giving you an ulcer?"

"Among other things."

"Oh,"

Great, now he's done it! Yuki mentally slapped himself. "No, what I mean is that it started up when you went missing."

"Sorry,"

"What are you sorry for, idiot?" Yuki snapped back. "Did you plan to blow the plane up or something?"

"Not exactly," Shuichi said with a crooked smile.

"So you've got nothing to be sorry about."

"But you're sick because…"

"It's not _because_ of you," Yuki said firmly. "It's because I am making myself sick _about_ you. There is a difference. Maybe if I had more faith in you and wasn't so damn impatient then I wouldn't be worrying so much about it all so I wouldn't have an ulcer."

"Is that what you really think?"

Yuki shrugged. "Just came up with it the theory, but it's as good a hypothesis as anything, don't you think?"

Shuichi laughed. "Yeah, guess so."

They sat in silence for a few moments.

"Does that answer your question?" Yuki finally asked.

This time it was Shuichi's turn to rake his fingers through his hair, letting out his breath in a whoosh. "I don't know. I don't know anymore what question I really want to have the answer to even."

"You and me both." Yuki admitted.

Shuichi laughed again and got to his feet with a bounce that jiggled Yuki where he still sat. He smiled down at him. "So do we take it that we've sorted things out about last night?" he said.

Yuki looked up at him steadily. "Are you happy with it as it stands? Is there anything else you want to ask me?"

Shuichi thought about it a moment and then shook his head. "Nah," he finally said. "I don't think we're going to get much more out of it if we just keep rehashing it."

"Perhaps," Yuki agreed, standing.

"However," and Shuichi stabbed his chest with a finger, glaring up at him. "You need to back off and remember that I am not the same as I was. We can't just fall back into everything the way it used to be. If you can't accept that then you have to walk away now. That's your choice."

Yuki looked down into the upturned face, seeing the absolute conviction there in what he was saying. "I'm staying." he replied.

"even if things don't go any further than just good friends? Can you accept that?"

Yuki felt the fear rise in his chest. Had Shuichi already decided and wanted to prepare him for complete rejection?

"Hey, Yuki, don't stress," Shuichi suddenly said, patting his chest. "Calm down. I'm just saying, okay? That's all. I can't see into the future. I just want to know if you think we could be friends if that happened, whether it's tomorrow or twenty years from now." He suddenly smiled broadly. "Although I would love to see what you're going to look like middle-aged, with a potbelly and wrinkles!"

Yuki frowned in mock anger. "And you would still be a hyperactive twerp, only moving a little slower."

"Probably," Shuichi agreed happily. "So," and he grew serious again. "Are you okay with that?"

"Yeah, I'm okay with that."

"Good," He turned back to his bag, dropped one last item into it then zipped it closed. 'And no more doing that stupid drinking, yelling and sex crap that you pulled last night!"

"I said I was sorry,"

Shuichi snorted, "Which you will probably forget as soon as you walk out the door!"

"You sure you don't just want to hit me and get it out of your system." Yuki said a little sarcastically.

Shuichi smiled at him. "Nah, I'd hate to mess up that pretty face."

Yuki felt himself flush at the sudden compliment. "Shut up,"

"That's my Yuki!" Shuichi slung the bag up on his shoulder. "Come on, I've got to go."

Go? Oh, that's right, it was the tour. Yuki had completely forgotten about it. He felt his stomach flip over again. That meant that Shuichi was going to be gone for the next three weeks. He would be alone again. What if Shuichi changed his mind once he was away?

He silently followed Shuichi out of the room to the front door, silently watching as the other grabbed keys, phone and wallet from the hall, slipping on a jacket and shoes.

"That's it," Shuichi said, "Got everything?"

"Yes," Yuki replied shortly, having already put his own shoes on.

He stepped through the door first, waiting as Shuichi locked it securely behind them and they made their way down the stairs, side by side. Yuki didn't know what to think. Shuichi didn't seem that concerned that he was leaving. It didn't seem to bother him that they would be parted, even so soon after their just recent reconciliation. Was he really not that worried about it? Did that mean he had more confidence in their budding rocky relationship, or was it that he didn't even see it as such so why would he be worried about this separation? Yuki wished he really knew what he was thinking. He could ask, sure he could. But he was very wary about raising anything that may ignite their troubles again. He didn't want Shuichi to think that he was trying to pressure him again.

They reached the ground floor and Yuki could see a taxi waiting outside. Obviously Shuichi had pre-booked it, or most likely Tohma had. As he watched Shuichi toss his bag to the far side of the back seat he found himself wishing that he would ask him to accompany him. It's not like he really could just up and go, it's not like he was some 'groupie' or something, but it would have been nice if Shuichi had at least asked. Guess he was hoping for too much, too soon. He would have to learn to be content with the small crumbs he was given to sustain him till next time. But at this moment, three weeks seemed a long, long time.

Shuichi paused for a moment as he was getting into the taxi. "Well, that's it." He smiled warmly at Yuki. "I'm glad we had this talk. I didn't want things to be like they were."

"Neither did I."

"I know it's hard because things aren't the same as before, but it doesn't mean that we can't keep working towards something new. However we'll only get there if we keep trying to return to what once was. We have to begin afresh, don't you think so?"

Yuki gazed down into his face, memorizing this moment. "I want to. I'm just not sure I know how to do that." he finally admitted.

Shuichi reached up and gently patted his cheek, "Don't worry. We'll figure it out together."

He slipped into the taxi and closed the door firmly, winding the window down and leaning out. "See you later, Yuki!" he called out as the vehicle sped away.

Yuki raised one hand silently, not trying to call out over the traffic noise. He stood there watching until the taxi was gone from sight, swallowed up by the steady stream of vehicles filling the street. He let out the breath he had been holding, feeling suddenly very, very tired and wrung out.

He turned and began to make his way back to where his car was parked. It would be a long trip home and already he was finding he was missing Shuichi. Already it seemed the gulf was widening between them. He tried to push these irrational fears down, squashing them but they didn't quite go away completely. If this was how he was feeling now, how bad would he be feeling after three weeks?


	12. Chapter 12

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings:** bad language

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, they belong to the creator of 'Gravitation'.

Unlocking My Love: Chapter 12

"Come on, sleepy head," The muffled voice reached him, muffled due to the pillow currently pulled over his head which he had used in an attempt to drown out the crowd that was presently in his room.

Shuichi let out a deep sigh and reluctantly pushed the pillow to one side, rolling over and sitting up in bed, one hand raking through his long hair at the back of his head, before rubbing tiredly at his eyes.

He yawned widely and blinked a few times, a frown on his brow as he gazed at the people in various poses scattered around the room. Who ever said that the bedroom was the most private place had never had to live with this lot!

K stood over at the window, gun unholstered but not fired. Thankfully someone had managed to convince him that it wasn't necessary, probably Hiro. Sakano fidgeted in the doorway, hands nervously rubbing together then being clasped behind his back. Shuichi wondered if something actually might have gone wrong but a few moments later when Sakano repeated the same routine reassured him that all was fine. If Sakano ever stopped fidgeting, then he would know that the world was about to end!

Suguru sat demurely in the corner, legs crossed, absently flicking through a magazine he must have grabbed from the other room, although Shuichi could see that his eyes weren't exactly following what was before him. Not surprising, he was as tired as them all.

The last person in the room was Hiro, who currently sat on the edge of the bed near Shuichi's feet. He grinned at him, enough to make him feel like kicking him off just to see him fall flat on the floor but he restrained himself. This wasn't Hiro's fault as per se.

He yawned again, this time wide enough that his jaw cracked, making him wince. He saw K's hand twitch his weapon at the sound and was glad he wasn't feeling in as trigger happy mood as he generally was. That would have normally resulted in him being aerated.

"So can someone tell me just why the hell are you all in my room?" he grumped, now scrubbing both hands through his hair. The sides and front had grown out from the usual short cut he had maintained since his time in North America. It wasn't as long as he had used to wear it, but his fringe was now down to his eyebrows. He decided he didn't mind it like that, but he intended to have the sides shortened again. He tugged at the back of his hair, measuring the length. It was about at the top of his shoulders so he would just have that trimmed a little also. It would still be long enough to cover the scars.

"Well, it is midmorning," Hiro said, leaning elbows on his knees. "We were beginning to wonder if you intended to sleep the entire day away."

"It hardly matters if I did. We don't have the concert till night." he replied.

'That is true," Sakano spoke up from the doorway, hand rising to push his glasses up his nose in his habitual gesture. "But we were concerned that if you slept too long you would feel worse when you awoke."

"Also that if you slept right up till the concert you might be too lethargic and not have your usual amount of energy." K added. He grinned, quite evilly. "You need to make sure that you have your natural energy flowing well before then. It's the adrenalin that makes you so good. We want to make sure you give your best performance."

"I get hyper doing a concert no matter what," Shuichi complained, throwing the sheet back and standing, stretching arms and back.

"True, but it's so much better when you've been fired up before." K rubbed the butt of his gun. "I can always add some incentive." he offered.

"There's no need for that!" Shuichi hurriedly assured him. "So are we doing something special today? Is that why you're all here?"

"Actually, we did have something." Sakano said. "Since it has been nearly a week already and we are here in Osaka, the President thought it would be quite a good opportunity for you all to visit Universal Studios."

"Really?!" Shuichi froze in place, not believing what he was hearing. He had actually never managed to visit Universal Studios up till now, apart from some brief promotional shots of the band a number of years ago. It was a place he had wanted to go to so often but it was one of those places he just never seemed to manage to do so. He noticed that even Suguru looked up with sudden interest at that, whilst Hiro's grin grew broader.

"Yes," Sakano continued. "The President said that you should all ensure that you have a short break during this time and enjoy yourself."

"Yeah!" Shuichi shouted, punching the air as he jumped. "Way to go, Tohma!"

"Ahem," Sakano cleared his throat, flushing at Shuichi's casual mention of Tohma Seguchi's name. "We haven't made any special arrangements." he said. "It's not as though the park will be closed down for our exclusive use, so you must all be careful. The advantage is that it is not peak season so there should be less people but do watch yourself. And please be careful to not do anything that might result in injury to your persons. You do still have a concert, remember, and we don't wish to cancel due to some untoward accident."

"Aw, stop worrying your pretty little head," K spoke up causing Sakano to flush at the comment. "I'll be there to keep an eye on things so crowds won't be a bother."

Shuichi had a vision of their manager, in full camouflage wear, blond hair streaming in the wind around him, with a rocket launcher by his side as Universal Studios burned to the ground, laughing manically. He shuddered. It was more than likely a prophetic vision than a hallucination unfortunately where K was concerned.

He turned to him and frowned fiercely. "You are not going to take any dangerous weapons in there," he stated firmly. "This is an amusement park. It's a place to have fun and I'm not going to have you ruin it. So no weapons!"

K opened his mouth as though to protest when Hiro spoke up. "He's right," he said. "We'll be fine. You and Sakano deserve a break as well. We're all going to be together so it's not like we won't be able to keep an eye on each other. So let's just all go and have a good time."

"That sounds like an excellent idea," Sakano suddenly added his support, looking over at K. "I'm sure that everything will run smoothly without our added assistance."

K looked crestfallen but didn't raise any further objections.

"Right!" Shuichi suddenly clapped his hands. "Now that that's settled," he looked at them all in the room. "Can you get the hell out of my room so I can change?!"

"Of course, of course, our apologies, Shindou," Sakano hurriedly went over and grabbed K, propelling him from the room, as Suguru stood and wandered out with Hiro close behind.

"Don't take too long," Hiro said with a wink, "And don't go back to sleep!"

"As if!" Shuichi said, picking up a pillow and tossing at him which he easily caught and tossed right back so it landed on the bed. "Get out of here."

Shuichi was ready in record time, so fast that Hiro wondered if he had moved around in the shower so quickly he had missed the water drops completely, but then a tell tale drip slipped from his fringe which at least indicated that some parts of him had actually got wet.

They had all dressed casually for the day, though any die-hard fans would still have no trouble recognizing them but that couldn't be helped. Hiro had no intention of trying to disguise himself and going to all that trouble, he'd been through all that before and the nightmarish memories still haunted him. So, no disguises this time, not when he wanted to go out and have a bit of fun.

"Let's go!" Shuichi crowed as he rushed to the door. Everyone else followed along a little more sedately but no less quickly. Despite efforts to appear that they weren't as interested, none of them could completely hide their own excitement for today's sojourn. Once downstairs they all piled into waiting taxis and headed off.

The journey took some time, not so much due to traffic but Universal Studios were not near their hotel but finally Shuichi spotted the recognizable area as they drew closer. "There it is, there it is!" he said, bouncing up and down in his seat

"We could have caught the train out here." Suguru said, checking out the brochures he had on his lap.

Hiro looked over his shoulder. "Perhaps we can take it back," he suggested.

"It might be a little crowded by that time," Sakano stated. Hiro and Suguru shared an amused glance at Sakano's constant worrying.

"Come on!" Shuichi shouted to them, waving. He was already quite a distance in front of them. "Hurry up!"

"Hold on, Shindou!" K called out. "Stay together. We're not going in through the front entrance."

"We're not?" Suguru questioned

"No. I arranged for us to be taken through a side staff entrance to avoid the crowds. So come this way."

They followed K as he took them down the boulevard walk, Shuichi's eyes wide with wonder. "Oh, damn it!" he suddenly said, halting.

"What?" Hiro asked.

Shuichi looked like he was about to cry. "I didn't bring a camera!" he all but wailed. "I've finally made it to Universal Studios and I didn't bring a camera!" Now Hiro could see real tears gathering in his friend's large eyes.

There was a sudden flash of light and both Shuichi and Hiro turned to see Suguru leaning against one of the poles. In his hands was a camera.

"I didn't think you'd remember so I made certain to bring mine." he said.

"Suguru!" Shuichi shouted and rushed his fellow bandmate, throwing his arms around him to hug him in exuberance.

Hiro watched, amused as Suguru's face turned slightly purple as his oxygen was completely cut off for a moment.

"You are such a good friend!" Shuichi was almost weeping on Suguru's shoulder, squeezing him tightly.

Suguru patted his back comfortingly, rolling his eyes at his friend's antics. "There, there, it's all right now." He managed to disengage himself from Shuichi's grip and place his hands on his shoulders, holding him at bay. "Here," he said, holding the camera out to Shuichi. "You can use it."

"Are you sure?" Shuichi said hesitantly, not taking the proffered object. "I might break it."

"You'll be fine. Hey, it's just a camera."

"But what if you want to take photos?"

"If I do you can either take it for me, or I'll just buy one of those disposable cameras. It's fine."

Shuichi now reverently took the camera, holding it to his chest tightly, smiling brightly. "Thanks so much, Suguru!" he exclaimed. "You're the best!" and he grabbed his friend in another bone crushing hug.

"Yeah, yeah, that's fine."

"Ah, Shuichi, you're starting to attract attention." Hiro said, noticing the people beginning to stare at their little party and more than one drawing closer. "You don't want to be mobbed out here, do you?"

"No, no, not at all!" Shuichi quickly released Suguru, who took a deep breathe to ease the ache in his oxygen starved lungs.

"Come on then," K said. "Let's get inside."

They continued closer to the gates when Shuichi let out a small squeal, of considerably less volume than he would normally do so showing his attempted restraint. "Look, look! It's Snoopy!"

He rushed over to the statue he had seen and sure enough it was the adorable black and white cartoon canine. "Hiro, you've got to take a photo, please?!"

"Sure,' Hiro agreed, smiling indulgently. "Hand it over."

Shuichi beamed happily as he posed next to the statue as Hiro clicked a couple of different shots, amused by his friend's antics.

"Let's go now." K stated. "At this rate we won't get to see everything before we have to leave to get back."

"No!" Shuichi nearly cried. "We can't leave if we haven't finished everything!"

"Then let's get moving, pipsqueak." Hiro said, slapping his friend's back.

"Hey, who're you calling 'pipsqueak'?!" Shuichi demanded.

"A pipsqueak," Hiro said with a smile over his shoulder, following the others.

'Beanpole!" Shuichi muttered, hurriedly catching up.

Hiro laughed as he draped an arm around his shoulders. "You're going to love it, Shu. You got to go on the Jurassic Park ride."

That's right, Shuichi remembered. Hiro had been here before. He had come here with Ayaka a while ago, it had been a special date. Her family even gave permission for them to stay overnight, although it had to be in separate rooms.

Shuichi sneaked a glance upwards at his friend, wondering if those separate rooms were actually both used or if they had shared after all. Hiro had never said - not that he would. He wasn't the sort of guy to 'kiss and tell', he was a real gentleman like that. Not like a certain grumpy blond…..

He cut that thought, pulling away from Hiro and running forward. He did not want to think about a certain someone. A someone who seemed to occupy his thoughts every chance there was. He couldn't seem to help it. It just seemed that whenever he had a moment of spare thought it was filled with that one person; thoughts of him, memories of him, and with those came the feelings. Emotions of longing and loneliness that were almost strong enough to bring tears to his eyes. Or at least make his heart hurt.

He mentally tried to shake those thoughts aside. "Hurry up, slowpoke!" Shuichi called back to Hiro as he ran to catch up with K and the others. There would be plenty to occupy his mind today surely so he would not be thinking about that other person.

At least he prayed that would be the case.

Once they were inside it was all that Shuichi could do to not stop and stare with wide-eyed wonder. He may not be a goofy teenager any more but he hadn't lost his wonder and amazement for amusement parks of all sorts. He still loved them; the fantasy, the illusion, the dream-like quality they held as though he had stepped into another world. He loved that feeling. The camera in his hands began working over time.

"So what do we do first?" he asked, bouncing up and down, only stilling to snap another photo.

"Well, I think the most logical way to do this," Suguru said, looking at the map in his hands. "is to work our way around in a clockwise direction, starting right here. There are a couple of things that start at special times," Holding the page out and pointing to them so the others could also see. "Are we interested in seeing those as well?"

"Of course we are!" Shuichi exclaimed, frowning at his sacrilege in suggesting anything else.

Suguru just shrugged. "Okay, then why don't we just work our way around the exhibitions and rides and when it is coming to the time for these special events to happen we go and see them, and then come back to where we had stopped."

"That sounds like a very good plan," Sakano stated, impressed by Suguru's masterful planning. It reminded him of the President, although Tohma Seguchi would not be running this as a democracy.

"Are we all agreed?" K asked. A chorus of nods answered him.

"Then what are we waiting for?" Hiro smiled, turning and heading for the closest building. "We've got a lot to get through today so let's get started!"

"Yeah!" Shuichi leapt up and rushed over also and the day begun.

"Oh, wow!" Shuichi exclaimed, brushing the water away from his clothes. Fortunately it was still a warm day so they should dry without too much trouble. "That was awesome!"

Hiro smiled at him as he lit up a cigarette. "Didn't I tell you that the Jurassic Park ride wasn't to be missed?"

"Yeah, those spooky dinosaurs, those scary ones were really creepy. And then when that gate looked like it wasn't going to close," Shuichi's eyes were sparkling as he spoke, his hands waving as he walked and described what he had just seen. "And then that T-Rex right at the end! Gods, I swear my heart was going to stop! It looked like it was going to eat us for sure. Then – whoosh!- down we went that drop! I'm sure I felt that monster's breath across my back!"

"That would be impossible." Suguru stated evenly. "It's a mechanical creation, it has no breath."

Shuichi frowned at his younger bandmate. "You have no imagination," he complained.

Suguru just rolled his eyes and said nothing as they continued to walk.

"So where did we lose K and Sakano?" Shuichi asked, looking around although they hadn't seen their manager and producer for the last few attractions.

"I think it was in the line for the Spiderman exhibit." Suguru replied.

"Don't worry," Hiro assured them both. "We'll meet up with them somewhere no doubt. The park isn't that big. Besides we'll certainly find them at the end of the day when we head back. We all know what time we have to be leaving."

Shuichi glanced at his watch. "Then we'd better move it. We're running out of time."

"The biggest time waster is waiting in the lines." Suguru half complained.

"True. Even though it's not peak season there are still a lot of people. Though it's really only been for the most popular rides, or the new attractions." Hiro stated.

"So where to next?" Shuichi asked.

Suguru consulted his map and pointed off to another path. "Let's go that way to the 'Jaws' exhibit."

"'Jaws'?" Shuichi queried, following the others. "What's that? An eating contest?"

"It's about a big shark." Suguru said.

"A shark? Sounds boring." Shuichi's steps began to slow.

"Don't knock it till you've tried it," Hiro said, throwing a smile at his friend, encouraging him. "You'll like it, honestly."

"Okay," Shuichi said a little reluctantly. They've got a whole ride about a shark, he thought. What fun could that be? It's not like it's going to be a real shark. It really did sound boring to him.

As they approached they suddenly rounded a turn of the path and he stopped. Before them was a large shark, fake of course, hung from its tail. It was huge, stretching up to the sky.

"Wow!" he said, eyes drinking in the sight. He brought the camera up and began to snap.

"Hey, don't take all the photos here," Hiro said. "You can get better ones down there."

Shuichi followed him down and Hiro then took the camera. "Go and stand next to it," he told his friend.

Shuichi squeeze in while there was a gap in the crowd and proudly stood next to the huge head whilst Hiro took a couple of photos.

"Now," Hiro said. "Lean down and put your head in the mouth. It'll make a great shot."

"What?!" Shuichi exclaimed.

"It's not like it's real," Suguru put in calmly.

"I know that!" Shuichi flared back. Then, with a determined look on his face, bent over and rested his head in the open jaws.

As he looked at Hiro and smiled, he tried not to shiver at the feel of the large teeth hovering over and below his neck but as soon as Hiro indicated that he was done, he quickly extricated himself from that position and took a deep breath.

From this close position he looked up the length of the creature. It was just huge and very impressive. "So this is 'Jaws'." he said. "I guess it is pretty cool." He turned to the others who had come down to join him. "So where next?"

"No, this isn't it. This is just something fun to do before you go on the ride." Hiro pointed down another section of the path following behind the hanging shark. "The ride is down there."

"Really? Okay."

"So what did you think?" Hiro asked his two bandmates.

Suguru brushed again at the wet spots of his clothing, grimacing a little. "Remind me next time to wear waterproof pants," he grumbled.

Hiro laughed. "But that's part of the fun," he said. "If you were too prepared it wouldn't be so much of a surprise. How about you, Shuichi?"

Shuichi was leaning against the railing, ignoring the water still dripping from his shirt, eyes still a little glazed.

Hiro peered at him more closely. "Shu, you okay?"

Shuichi took a deep breath and blinked. "Yeah," he finally replied. "That was just….." He blinked a few more times. "terrifying."

"You think so?"' Suguru looked at him, a little surprised. "You were that scared?"

Shuichi glared at him whilst Hiro chuckled. "You should see the bruises on my arm where he grabbed me." he said to Suguru.

Shuichi transferred his glare to Hiro. "I didn't know what to expect. I've never seen the 'Jaws' films before so I didn't know what it was all about!"

He wasn't about to tell either of them that at the climatic moment as the shark appeared to rise from the water to swallow him whole and he really thought he was facing utter doom, the face that had flashed before his eyes had been Yuki's. That split second of image had taken his breath away and the longing he had felt for the other had almost been overwhelming. That feeling had remained after they had returned to the shore, leaving his knees feeling weak and his heart hurting. He tried to shake the feeling away, returning to the conversation he was currently having.

"It looked so real." he added, trying to defend his response.

"It's supposed to." Hiro lead them away. "Let's grab a drink over there."

"Were you really that scared?" Suguru asked with a little curiousity as he fell into step beside Shuichi.

"Yeah, I was," he replied defensively. "Are you saying you weren't?" he demanded back.

"Well, it was startling, certainly. I didn't know what to expect either. But I wouldn't say I was terrified."

"Then excuse me for actually getting into the whole feel of the thing!"

There was silence for a moment.

"Yeah, well, that always was your forte." Suguru then said quietly.

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"You always do throw yourself into everything whole heartedly. You have a knack of being able to put yourself into what universe you want to. You can seem to visualize it all so clearly. No, not just visualize it, but actually believe it, live it." Suguru turned his head away so Shuichi couldn't see his face. "You can even 'feel' what it would be like. I wish I could."

Shuichi looked at his friend's dark hair, seeing the twinkle of an earring. That had surprised him when he had first seen it. Suguru hadn't pierced his ear before he'd got on that plane, way back when. When he had arrived in Quebec for that first time he remembered taking note of that flash of light on the gold hoop, though at the time he hadn't realized why he had made such a note of it. Later, when he regained his memories, he realized why it had seemed so out of place. He had often wondered why the normally straight laced and sedate Suguru had suddenly got his ear pierced when he had never shown any indication of wanting to do so.

"You can feel things too," he said then, reaching out to place a hand on Suguru's shoulder, forcing him to stop and turn to face him. "You feel things through your music. It might not be the same way I do, but your music expresses how you feel. The way you can take the notes and arrange them into something so much more than I could even imagine, that's a real gift."

Suguru's face didn't change in expression.

Shuichi rubbed at the back of his neck, fingers bumping over the slightly raised skin of the scars that ran down one side. He pulled his hand away quickly, not wanting those reminders at this time. "You know, I envy you that ability." he said, looking at Suguru a little sheepishly. "I always have."

"Me?" Now Suguru looked surprised.

"Yeah. You can take my music and make it even better. I didn't particularly like that at the start. It felt like you were stealing my only child or something."

Suguru snorted. "That's stupid."

"Yeah, I know," Shuichi admitted then shrugged. "But, hey, you know me. I'm a spazz!"

"Oh, yeah, that we know."

"You don't have to agree so quickly!"

"Why not when it's true?"

Now it was Shuichi's turn to roll his eyes as they began walking again. "By the way," he said, "I've been meaning to ask why you got your ear pierced."

Suguru's hand flew to his ear, cupping over the loop as though to hide it, his cheeks colouring. "Oh," he said, "I…sort of forget about it now that I've got it."

"When did you get it done?" Shuichi questioned. "I know you didn't have it when I left the last time."

"No. I got it later."

"How come? Have you got a tattoo also?" He looked Suguru up and down as though he would be able to see such an illicit thing through his clothes.

"Don't be stupid," Suguru chided. "It's just the earring."

"So what brought that streak of rebelliousness on?" Shuichi pressed, curiousity eating at him now. "I wouldn't have thought your family would have approved."

"It's nothing. Forget it." Suguru said, walking faster.

"Hey, what are you hiding?" Shuichi exclaimed, hurrying to keep pace. "Is there a bigger meaning behind it?"

Shuichi saw Suguru's cheeks flush again and crowed with delight. "There is, isn't there? There's some hidden secret about why you got it done. Come on, tell me!" He began to wheedle, drawing closer to his friend. "Is it a girl, is that it? Or…. don't tell me," and he suddenly thought of something else, "it's not a boy?!"

Suguru made to slap him them, cheeks flaming brightly, which he easily dodged. "You are such an idiot sometimes." he almost snarled. "You're the only raging homo in this group, remember?!"

"Ah, doesn't mean that you mightn't fall for some guy too," Shuichi said. "Not if they looked as good as Yuki so you can't blame me."

"Yeah, well, if he's so damn hot why aren't you with him?"

Shuichi suddenly stopped dead in his tracks, feeling like he had been doused in a bucket of cold water. Suguru had a point. Why wasn't he with Yuki? He'd just told him that he still thought Yuki was hot and he could admit that is exactly what he did think. Yuki was really good looking and he still made his heart skip a beat when he saw him, or even just thought about him. So why wasn't he with him?

"Hey, Shu?" He looked up to see Suguru standing before him, a worried frown on his face. "I'm sorry I said that. I didn't mean anything by it."

Shuichi cleared his throat. "No, it's okay," he reassured his friend, bringing up a small smile. "No big deal." He began to walk off, still deep in thought.

Okay, why wasn't he with Yuki? Well, he was on tour at the moment for one. But that's not really the reason. He could have asked Yuki to come with him. He had wanted to, he really had, but Yuki hadn't made any indication that he was interested and in the past he hadn't either.

He had previously come to the odd concert, usually under sufferance, but an entire tour? No, that would have been out of the question. Besides, the man's got his own work to do. Why would he have put aside all that for three weeks to trail around after him? Touring can be pretty tiring so he wouldn't have been the best of company most of the time.

Still, he couldn't help but think that it would have been nice. Even after what Yuki had done that time, he still found he thought of him nearly all the time. Everything seemed to remind him off Yuki for some reason. Even here, he kept wishing that he was with him, although he knew that the man would be doing nothing but complain about being dragged all over the place to see such stupid things. It was just plain weird that he actually missed all that grousing.

"It was for you," Suguru suddenly said.

"Eh?" Shuichi refocused on his bandmate by his side.

Suguru's face was a dark red, more than just a light blush, and his hands were shoved deep in his pockets in a stance that Shuichi had come to recognize over the years as when he was extremely embarrassed.

"The earring. It was for you."

Shuichi's mind spun. Was to him?! Arghhhhh!, his mind screamed and his inner soul ran around in circles waving its arms. "Uhm…." he began but couldn't get anything more coherent out.

Suguru continued. "When you went missing," he said, still not looking at Shuichi. "I got it done then."

"Ah, why?" Shuichi finally managed to ask. How was he going to let Suguru down gently and tell him that he wasn't interested in him that way?

Instead of answering immediately Suguru reached up and unclasped the earring, passing it over to Shuichi, still not meeting his eyes. "Look inside," he said.

Shuichi held the gold band up closer, peering at the interior. He could make out etchings and made his way into the shadow of a tree to avoid the glare of the sun so he could read it easier. Some symbols were carved there, then his name written after. He looked up at Suguru who had followed him.

"That symbol is a reiki," Suguru explained, obviously guessing that Shuichi wouldn't know what it was. "It's a chant if you like, or a wish. There are a number of these reiki, all to do different things."

"What's this one mean?" Shuichi asked, peering back at the symbols.

"It's called hon sha ze sho nen, or the Distance symbol."

"What does it do?"

"It's used to send healing reiki over distance and time to anyone." Suguru answered.

Shuichi read it again, sounding out the words Suguru had told him. "So this, with my name…?"

"It's directing the power of the reiki to the person named." Suguru said, still not looking at him. "When you went missing I didn't know what to do. I wanted to try and do something. That's all I could think of."

"Thank you," Shuichi said warmly, touching his friend's shoulder.

Suguru turned his head and for the first time he looked at Shuichi directly.

Shuichi held the earring out to him with a smile. "Thank you for thinking of me. It must have helped."

Suguru took back his accessory with a sniff. "Don't be stupid. It's all just superstition." he said as he reaffixed it to his ear.

"Maybe," Shuichi said. "But then I am back here, aren't I?" Suguru looked back at him. "What are the odds of that?"

Suguru looked a little uncomfortable at that thought and Shuichi chuckled. "All I'm saying is that every little bit probably helped. I don't think I could have made it if it had just been my doing. So thank you for wanting to help me."

"That's okay," Suguru muttered, shuffling his feet a little with further embarrassment.

"Hey, you two," Hiro's shout startled them both and they turned to see him waving from the front of a food stand. "Get over here and order. I'm starving."

"Coming!" Shuichi waved back. He turned back to Suguru with a smile. "Hurry up, there's still a tonne of things to see before we leave and if I miss any I'm going to blame you."

Suguru rolled his eyes and followed. "So what else is new?" he shouted after him.

"So what were you two talking about?" Hiro asked Shuichi as they sat and ate some cinnamon sticks. Suguru had wandered off for a moment to look at something, leaving just the two of them.

"Nothing in particular."

"Oh, really?" Hiro replied. "That wasn't what it looked like to me."

"It was kind of private," Shuichi said a little apologetically. He wasn't used to keeping things from his best friend but he also knew how private Suguru was so he didn't know if he should say anything.

"Hmm," Hiro chewed for a moment. "Was it about his earring?" he finally said.

Shuichi was surprised while Hiro just grinned back. "Yeah, I knew about it. He didn't actually tell me," he explained, taking a drink to wash the last of the snack down. "I sort of figured it out though." He looked at his friend. "He's always full of surprises, isn't he? Just when you think you've got him figured out he does something like that that gives you a whole new perspective on what makes him tick."

"Yeah, you're right." Shuichi looked across to where their younger bandmate stood touching some plants growing by the fence. "Even after all this time there's still so much about Suguru that we don't seem to know."

"Don't sweat it," Hiro said, nonchalantly leaning back and lighting up a cigarette. "We've got plenty of time to figure him out." He glanced across with a grin. "Besides, isn't it more fun to still have surprises than to know everything?"

"I suppose so." Shuichi agreed. "I just never expected something like that from him."

There was silence for a moment between them.

"Shu," Hiro then said quietly. "When you went missing it affected a lot of people."

Shuichi looked at him, puzzled. "What do you mean? I know my family and friends were worried. I'm sorry for that."

Hiro waved his apology aside. "I don't mean you have to be sorry for it. It wasn't your fault. All I mean is that, yes, we were worried, but it was more than just 'worried'. You can worry that you're going to be late for work, or miss your train, or run out of laundry powder. That's worry. What I mean is that when you were missing we weren't just worried."

Hiro took a deep drag on his cigarette. "I know you know your family loves you. Hell, they're such a crazy bunch who else could love you!" Shuichi snorted at that accurate assessment of his family, but he still smiled at the thought of them. "But it wasn't just them."

Hiro leant forward and let his hand dangle between his knees, cigarette drooping from between his fingers. "When I first heard, I thought my heart would stop." he said softly. "I couldn't believe that I could lose you. I don't know if you really understand just how much a part of my life you are, Shu. I don't mean just because we're in a band together, or because we've known each other for so long. I mean because you are a big part of my life and without your there, there is just a big gaping hole. I want to be able to keep sharing all the special times in my life with you as my best friend, both the good times and the bad."

Hiro lifted the almost finished cigarette to his lips. "I really didn't know what to do when you were gone. I didn't even know what I could do. Suguru was like that too. He wanted to do something for you but just didn't know what, so his way of trying to help was to get that earring. Mine was spending time with your family; it sort of made me feel that you were still here, that you weren't gone completely."

"I know you did a lot for me, Hiro," Shuichi responded just as quietly. "I couldn't ask for a better friend and I want to be there for you too. Even for Suguru. I ….love you both, you know."

"I know," Hiro gave a small grin. "Though be careful how you say that because it could be interpreted a whole lot of different ways. Say it to the wrong person and the tabloids would have us in a threesome!"

"Ew! Gross!" Shuichi wrinkled his nose in disgust while Hiro just chuckled.

"I know you love me, and hell, I love you too. In a manly way, of course." Hiro said.

"Of course," Shuichi agreed a little sarcastically.

"But you see, when you went missing Suguru and I wanted to do something but we couldn't do much. We couldn't think of what we could do that would help. There was only one person who didn't just think about it. He did it."

Hiro looked at Shuichi intently. "Shuichi, it was Yuki. He didn't sit here and wonder what was it that he could do. He didn't weigh everything up and believe that there wasn't anything so it was better to leave it in the hands of others. He wasn't like us. From that very first moment he did something. He was determined to do something, and there's no way anyone would have been able to stop him. He just up and went after you, as simple as that."

Shuichi just continued to look at Hiro as he spoke. He had known that Yuki had come in search of him. That was no secret but the way Hiro was now explaining it to him made him look at it in a whole new light. Hiro was right. Of all the people in his life, it was only Yuki that had come for him. It wasn't that no-one else had cared or loved him, or missed him, or anything like that. It was just that Yuki was the only one who was determined enough to go and get him again, or believed he had the right to come and get him. He suddenly couldn't stop the chuckle that emerged. Gods, that man was so damn possessive!

"Shu?" Hiro questioned, looking a little worriedly at his friend.

Shuichi waved his concern aside. "It's fine. I just thought of something, that's all."

"About Yuki?"

"Yeah," Shuichi admitted. "How it's sort of funny in a way that after so many years of me chasing him, that this time it was him chasing me! He really can't bear to let anything that he thinks is his, go!"

"Well, you did promise you would stay with him," Hiro reminded him with a smile. "I think he took that pretty seriously."

"Yeah, I guess so." Shuichi agreed quietly.

"You miss him, don't you?" Hiro suddenly sat back, draping his arms across the back of the bench.

Shuichi opened his mouth to deny it, then decided against the lie. "Yeah,"

"So why don't you call him?"

"I….don't want to bother him." Shuichi said.

"Or is it that you're pissed off with him about something again?"

"Not…really. Well, maybe a little. We had an….argument the night before we left. We kind of sorted it out the next day but…I don't know, I think he should still be the one to make the first move. It was his fault in the first place!"

"Is that so?" Hiro said in a tone of voice that made Shuichi bristle. It sounded like he didn't believe him.

What did he know? It was Yuki's fault! The whole thing was, from start to finish. He should never have done what he did. Hell, he didn't even ask to join him on this tour so he obviously wasn't too worried about him being away. If he wants to talk to him he can be the one to damn well ring first! Shuichi remained fuming in silence.

"When are you going to stop testing him?" Hiro suddenly said

"What?!" Shuichi exclaimed, completely caught off guard by that strange comment.

Hiro looked over at him, cigarette dangling from his mouth as he scrutinised his friend. "Is it that deep down you blame him for everything?" Hiro mused as though speaking more to himself than to Shuichi. "Is it that you actually blame him for not being with you when you had the accident? That you were alone during that time? Do you blame him for not being with you during all that?"

"I…I…don't know what the hell you're talking about!" Shuichi snapped, feeling anger beginning to boil in his stomach.

"I wonder," Hiro continued quietly, seeming unperturbed by his friend's obvious ire. "I wonder if that is what this is all about. You're subconsciously constantly testing Yuki's feelings for you, constantly testing if it's real because you blame him for abandoning you during that time. You can't bring yourself to go back to him because you don't believe him any more. You don't believe what he feels for you is real. So you keep testing him, keep pushing him to show you, to prove to you again and again that you are the only one for him and mean the most to him above everything else."

Shuichi's face was red with anger now, so much so that he couldn't even speak.

Hiro turned his head away and watched as a tendril of smoke drifted away. "That's pretty cruel, you know. That guy moved heaven and earth to find you. I may not like him all that much most of the time, but I admire the hell out of him for what he did. I don't know if I could do what he did for someone. That makes me quite envious of what you two shared. To have someone love you that much, that intensely, well," Hiro stubbed his cigarette out. "Let's just say it scares the hell out of me, yet makes me insanely jealous at the same time."

Hiro stood then, waving back as Suguru motioned to them. "Personally I don't know if I could handle that kind of intensity, but it still might be nice to experience it." He glanced down at his angry friend. "You really should have a good think about just why you are doing what you are doing. And think carefully about what you are feeling. Yuki didn't abandon you. Nothing could keep him away from you, nothing. I think he's more than proved that, don't you?"

Hiro moved off, soon joining Suguru. They exchanged words for a moment and then Suguru called out, "Shuichi, come on! You're the one who said we have to see everything so move your butt!"

Shuichi waved acknowledgement back, then took a deep breath and pushed his anger aside, standing and brushing his pants down. He walked towards them, trailing a little behind, lost in his own thoughts as they chatted in front.

He tried to keep his anger at bay as he thought about Hiro's words. Was that really what he was doing? Was he testing Yuki? He didn't think he had been. Did Hiro just expect him to jump back into bed with the man? His face flushed as he immediately remembered what it had sometimes been like previously. Well, based on some of those memories he couldn't exactly say it had all been 'bad' as such.

He mentally shook his head to clear it. Did he really blame Yuki for all that had gone wrong? He remembered what it had been like to wake up in the hospital after the accident, the crushing loneliness and fear. He had been swamped by those emotions, they had threatened to drown him completely and there was no-one there, no-one at all.

He suddenly stopped as he remembered something else. Yes, it was during that time that part of those feelings had been the burning intensity that there _should_ be someone there, that he _shouldn't_ have been alone. That being alone was so completely and utterly _wrong_. Was that what this was about? That even back then part of him had believed that Yuki should have been there with him? That the fact that he wasn't, had left a deeper scar on his heart than he had realised?

He raised his head to see Hiro and Suguru's backs in the distance, still walking, unaware that he was no longer behind. Perhaps Hiro was right. Perhaps there was a lot more to this than just Yuki being a pushy bastard. Perhaps he was being a spoiled brat too. He snorted quietly. Well, some things just don't change, do they?

He saw the exit sign then and veered off that way, reaching into his pocket for his cell phone. Things weren't going to change if something wasn't done. If he was just testing Yuki then he had to talk to the man, to try and spend more time with him to figure that out. At the same time he would be able to see if the other really did want to seriously be in a proper relationship again and it wasn't just about falling back into old habits. He wasn't concerned about leaving Hiro and Suguru. They would all come here to the exit when it was time to leave so he wasn't in any danger of being left behind.

Besides, this was more important.


	13. Chapter 13

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings:** bad language

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, they belong to the creator of 'Gravitation'.

Unlocking My Love: Chapter 13

He's got to have been crazy.

No, not crazy, just a masochist to have subjected himself to this. Why did he do it? He knew it would be like this, it always was, so why did he still go ahead and do it? Couldn't he have thought of something – anything! – else to do instead? Surely he could have, so why hadn't he been quick enough to do just that?

Yuki swallowed a sigh and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, wishing he could block out the sound as well as the sight and hoping in vain that when he opened them again it would all have just been a bad dream.

Slowly he did just that, lids lifting and unveiling the world before him once more. Nope, it would have been just too much to ask for. Nothing had changed.

He sighed again, a little more audibly this time, and hunched his shoulders in disgruntlement. Why was he here? Why hadn't he said 'no'?

He looked around at the scene before him. Just why the hell had he agreed to subject himself to a luncheon with his family, consisting of Tohma, Mika AND Tatsuha?!

He reached out and picked up the drink in front of him, partially filled with amber liquid. It was coming up to late afternoon and he'd been drinking steadily since lunch. Being with his family tended to do that – though if he was being perfectly honest he really didn't need all that much encouragement to have a few. It was just that being harassed by his siblings seemed to drive him to the brink faster than most things!

Suddenly the glass disappeared from between his fingers as though like magic, one moment there, then it was gone, and he was left staring at the emptiness that had once been occupied.

"What the fuck?" He looked up to glare at his sister standing by his side, his purloined glass in her hand. So there was the culprit. He frowned at her, reaching out to reclaim his missing drink.

"That is quite enough for you," Mika said firmly, moving away and taking the glass with her.

Yuki scowled after her, opening his mouth to snap something quite rude and certainly inappropriate to say to an older sister, but if there was one thing he really hated was people interrupting his drinking!

"You have had a number already, Eiri,"

His tirade was cut off before being voiced as he turned to look over the table at Tohma.

"That is beside the point," he snarled, not worried about being polite.

A steaming coffee cup was placed in front of him, hard enough to send a vibration through the table top his arm was resting on, yet still not spilling a drop over the sides.

"As you don't have the good sense to know when to stop, nor to not try and drive afterwards when you would certainly be far too drunk," Mika stated, looking down at him. "You can have coffee from now on."

Yuki glared at her, meeting her steely grey eyes that matched him glare for glare, daring him to argue with her. He took a deep breath, more than ready to voice his displeasure at her high handed ways and controlling mannerisms when he heard Tatsuha chortle in his corner, lifting his beer with a grin.

"Tough luck, bro!" Tatsuha snickered, enjoying seeing his older brother berated by their sister. It was always good for entertainment value when these two started. He settled back in his chair with a smirk, waiting for the fireworks to begin.

Yuki transferred his glare to his younger brother now, not appreciating having Tatsuha treat him as nothing more than a joke. But before he could make any kind of scathing remark about the state of his health, heritage or moral code, a hand dove over the younger man's shoulder and into the top pocket of his shirt, reappearing a moment later with a set of keys dangling from slender fingers.

"Hey!" Tatsuha exclaimed, twisting around in his chair and looking up at Mika who stood behind him.

"You will be staying the night," she directed to him quite calmly, turning away and taking his bike keys with her.

"Hey!" Tatsuha said. "You didn't take his keys off _him_!" he almost whined.

Mika paid no attention to the tone. "Eiri is old enough to know when he's being an idiot. And if he still wants to be one that is up to him."

Yuki held his tongue with difficulty but his eyes stabbed daggers at his calm sister. It was just one insult after another with her! He was oh, so tempted to call her a stuck up bitch just to see what reaction he got!

Then again, if he did that he had better do so only when there were no objects within reach that she could throw. Mika had a mean arm on her, and her aim was always dead on!

"I'm an adult too!" Tatsuha declared loudly, sitting up straighter. "I don't need to be babied!"

Mika fixed him with her patented look of scorn, one elegant brow lifting in disbelief. "You," she emphasized, "are incapable of ever being an adult. And as such, I have no choice. You will be staying the night."

Her tone brooked no argument but Yuki could still see that Tatsuha was fuming although he wasn't quite brave enough to say anything to his sister and rouse her wrath.

"It will be a pleasure to have you," Tohma indicated smoothly. "The children will be delighted."

Tatsuha glowered at his smiling brother-in-law, knowing that the comment was made as nothing more than a way of soothing the troubled waters but another glance at Mika's false serenity was enough for him to finally realize that it was a lost cause. He slumped in his chair in defeat. He knew he was beaten.

"Fine then," he snarled, raising his beer and sculling down the last quarter, thumping it back on the table forcefully. "Then I'll have another drink since I'm not going to be driving anyway!" he declared loudly, daring anyone to say anything.

"That's fine," Mika stated calmly, seating herself next to her husband. "You know where everything is."

Her younger brother sat still for a moment then stood, grumbling, to get his own drink. Yuki smirked at his browbeaten brother to which Tatsuha responded to by sticking his tongue out at him

'Juvenile,' he thought back and saw Tatsuha mouth 'jerk' as if reading his thoughts.

"How come you didn't stop him getting another?" Yuki asked his sister, lighting up a cigarette. "He's already had more than me."

"If he has a few more drinks he'll be passed out and asleep before too long," Mika replied smoothly, then sighed. "At least he'll be quiet then."

Yuki rolled his eyes. His sister was as manipulative as Tohma. He sometimes wondered who may have taught whom in that department, or maybe they just kept learning off each other. Perhaps having the two of them marry each other might have been the worse thing ever, they were only going to get more so! Or, now he paused in his smoking, was it genetic? Did that mean his nephews would inherit the genes from BOTH sides? Did that mean that those kids would grow up to be a merging of every trait from both Tohma and Mika?

His eyes glazed over a little at that thought. Heaven help the world once they were older! Thank gods he would most likely be safely dead and buried before that happened!

Tatsuha returned then, throwing himself back into this chair, drinking from his bottle. He looked like he was tempted to put his feet up on the table but he still retained enough sense to not try pushing his sister any further. Mika was not known for her patience.

Yuki tried to quell his desire to reach out and steal Tatsuha's beer for himself, he still really felt like he wanted the taste of alcohol on his tongue. Instead he forced himself to reach out and pick up his coffee, sipping carefully at the hot beverage.

"So have you spoken to Shuichi lately?" Mika asked, looking over at him as she played absently with the stem of her wine glass.

"No," he replied shortly. He'd wanted to, every day since Shuichi had left he had wanted to pick up the phone and call him, just to hear his voice again. Every day had made that desire grow. In fact he'd had to fight the urge to contact Shuichi half a dozen times each day but he wasn't about to tell anyone that.

"Why not?" she questioned, tilting her head to one side as though scrutinizing an interesting specimen under a microscope. "Surely you want to know what's been happening? It's been nearly a week since he left."

"Five days," he stated, then closed his mouth with a snap. He wasn't counting – not at all!

"Geez, bro!" Tatsuha put in, "What's the problem now? I thought you'd have put a tracer on the little twerp after last time!"

Yuki scowled at him. "That," he growled. "is none of your business!"

"Sure it is! None of us want to have you go psycho on us again."

"I didn't go 'psycho'," Yuki snarled, knowing Tatsuha was just trying to push his buttons.

"Yeah, sure. What would you call it; running all over the world, making up elaborate stories, all the time trying to drink yourself into an early grave because you couldn't get your hands on your favourite screw toy?"

"You," Yuki half rose from his seat, more than ready to punch his irritating brother for the crude insults he was making. Not so much for those directed about himself, but it really raised his ire to hear Shuichi being spoken of like that.

"Sit down," Mika's sharp voice halted his motion and he glanced across to see her looking directly at him. She motioned with a downward flicker of her eyelids for him to comply to her order. He didn't particular want to obey, he still wanted to snot the little bastard, but he could see the slight touch of worry in his sister's gaze also so he did as she wanted.

He took a deep swallow from his now almost cold coffee. He didn't know what the hell was going on with Tatsuha. Sure, Tats usually tried to rile him about stuff just to see him lose his cool, but he wasn't usually this derogatory towards Shuichi and certainly not in this way. He'd always had a soft spot for Shu, not only because Shuichi was very similar to Ryuichi Sakuma, the one and only that Tats obsessed about. So in some ways the ribbing and snide comments weren't entirely out of character but they seemed to have an edge to them that normally wasn't there. Now that he thought about it more he realized that Tatsuha just didn't seem like himself.

"So how is Shuichi going?" Mika now directed her question to her husband, obviously abandoning her brother as a lost cause. Yuki perked his ears up to hear Tohma's response, unable to quell his own need to know, his disagreement with Tatsuha forgotten.

"From all I have heard the tour is progressing well, with no issues arising to date." Tohma responded.

"Meaning: they're rocking!" Tatsuha interpreted. "That's no big surprise. The new album is great and Shu's new look is smoking!"

Eiri glanced at his brother. "You are one sick perv," he stated.

Tatsuha just looked back at him. "Why? Because I think he looks good?" He shrugged. "At least I'm honest enough to admit it. Unlike some." He took a drink. "In actual fact, I prefer his new look. He looks older now, more adult." He gazed off into the distance. "Maybe that's why I like it," he said, "He reminds me of Ryu at his peak. Really in control of his music."

"Ryuichi?" Tohma questioned, glancing at the youngest of the Uesagi siblings. "You think so?"

"Yep," Tatsuha confirmed. "I mean he's not exactly the same, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying he's some kind of carbon copy, but his change of look matches the change in Bad Luck's music. It's like they've all finally grown up."

"Hmm," Tohma murmured.

"I think he's right," Mika said. Tohma looked across to his wife. "Bad Luck isn't just some kiddy-pop band anymore. They've got a more mature sound to them, a greater scope if you like. If they work it right they'll develop a far greater fan base, apart from just the teeny-bopprs."

"Hmm," Tohma sipped at his coffee.

"Not that you really needed us to tell you that." Mika added, standing and gathering together some of the empty dishes from the table.

Tohma flashed a brief smile at her and Yuki saw her reciprocate. He returned his gaze back to his brother-in-law. She was probably right. Tohma had probably known all that. In fact he had probably orchestrated the whole thing. In his darkest moments he sometimes wondered if Tohma hadn't been responsible for Shuichi's accident and disappearance in the first place, and it had all been an elaborate scheme of his to push Bad Luck in this new direction.

The frightening thing was that such a crazy thought didn't seem that crazy when applied to Tohma Seguchi.

"So why haven't you phoned him?" Tatsuha pushed, peeling the label from his beer bottle.

"There's no need to," Yuki growled, wishing his annoying brother would shut up.

"You two are just hopeless!" Tatsuha stated. "Aren't you even interested in saying 'hello' to him?"

"I'll see him when he gets back."

"That's ages away! You've been as miserable as a bear with a sore head since he's been gone so why don't you just go and see him? I reckon he'd be pretty pleased if you did."

"Why would I want to see him?!" Yuki stared at his brother as though he had taken complete leave of his senses.

"Because you're crazy about him!" Tatsuha shouted back, leaning forward over the table towards his brother. "So just go to him!"

"You're an idiot!" Yuki mirrored his position so they were almost nose to nose, glaring at one another.

"Takes one to know one!" Tatsuha spat back, hands clenched in fists on the table top.

"You could go and see him, Eiri," Tohma quietly put in, halting the argument immediately. Two heads turned in his direction, one light, one dark, as he continued. "They're currently in Osaka but by the middle of next week they'll be in Kyoto. Neither is that far away. You could always go for a few days at least, even perhaps the weekend."

"That is a stupid idea." Yuki stated flatly, leaning back in his chair again

"Why?" Mika asked, returning from the kitchen and replacing the full ashtray between Yuki and Tatsuha with an empty one. "What's stopping you, apart from your stiff necked pride?"

Yuki didn't answer. In fact he couldn't think of anything to say really. She was right. There wasn't anything just at the moment stopping him from taking a bit of time off. But run off to Osaka or Kyoto? That was just plain crazy! That's the sort of bizarre thing that appeared only in bad novels or movies. Although it was also exactly what Shuichi would have done – or once would have. Now he wasn't so sure about that. Besides, Shuichi aside, people didn't just go rushing off like that to be with someone, at the drop of a hat. There was such thing as responsibilities, and being practical. That's it, it was not practical for him to go.

But then, Shuichi isn't the only one who's traveled to the other side of the world to find someone. He did exactly that himself. He actually hadn't really thought about that much. It made him seem a lot more like Shuichi, and that was just plain scary!

"It's only a few hours away and only for a few days. It's not like you would be gone for long. You did, after all, go all the way to North America for him once." Tohma suddenly said quietly.

Yuki looked across at him. Damn the man, could he even read minds now?!

Tohma smiled as though that was exactly what he was doing and Yuki suppressed a shiver, as well as clamping down on his thoughts. If Tohma could read minds, he wasn't about to give him any more ammunition to work with!

"Exactly!" Mika said firmly, placing a platter of watermelon on the table. "If you can manage to do that for him, I'm sure you could go as far as Osaka or Kyoto. Or at least contact him!"

Yuki rolled his eyes with a sigh of long suffering. "All right, I'll call him. That's if the idiot even has his phone on!"

"Then go and do it now," Mika said, making a shooing motion to send him on his way.

Yuki pushed back his chair and strode outside, knowing that if he didn't go she would only continue to badger him. Once outside he lit up another cigarette. It was a pleasant late afternoon, the sun just beginning to dip towards the horizon. He stood there silently smoking, just watching the shadows lengthen.

He could just stay here until he finished and then go in and say that he had made the call. It didn't mean that he actually had to do it. But if he did that, then knowing his luck, Mika would get hold of his phone and actually check if he had placed the call, and then she would give him hell for lying to her. He growled to himself. There was no getting around it. He was damned no matter how he looked at it.

He pulled out his phone and turned it on. He stared at it. It would be nice to hear Shuichi's voice, he had missed it. He'd got used to being able to speak to Shuichi every day during that week before he left. It had been…..nice to be able to meet up for lunch, the movie, coffee. He suddenly raised a hand to cover his eyes as he was struck by a thought. Gods, he'd been dating Shu! He couldn't believe it! He had actually been going on dates!! How pathetic was he?!

His hand fell to swing at his side as his shoulders slumped. He wondered if Shuichi had figured that out as well? Then again, and he straightened up a little, Shuichi probably didn't care if he did realize the same. Yeah, that idiot wouldn't see anything wrong with it at all. Not that Yuki necessarily thought it was 'wrong', it's just that he didn't do dates!

He stared at his phone once more. Should he call? It couldn't hurt to do so, it was just a phone call. Or he could just leave it, a small inner voice whispered. Just forget about it and not bother. It's the safest thing to do.

He fought against that urge and made himself dial the number, bring it up to his ear. It flicked immediately to the message bank, surprising him. Damn it! Yuki hung up immediately, without leaving a message. Just as he thought, the idiot didn't have his phone on!

He was about to shove it back in his pocket when it suddenly beeped in his hand, surprising him, indicating there was a message waiting. He was even more surprised when the name and number showing on the screen was Shuichi's. What..?

He dialed again and once more it flipped to the message bank. He hung up a little more forcefully this time, snapping the flip piece down. What the hell was going on?

The phone beeped again. Again it was Shuichi's number. What was the idiot playing at, he fumed.

He dialed once more and again got the message bank. This time he did leave a message.

"Get off the damn phone!" he snarled into the hand piece and then hung up.

Again the phone beeped, showing a missed call.

Idiot, he fumed. Fine, he would try once more. He dialed but again the message bank picked up. He hung up on the first word, his anger increasing with every moment. The annoying beep sounded again but this time the little envelope flashed to indicate that there was an actual message waiting for him. Damn it.

He called up his own message bank.

"What are you doing?" Shuichi's exasperation was quite clear in his voice. "Call me back!"

Why the little…! Who does he think he is, demanding he call him? Yuki stared at the phone for a minute, then dialed again.

Shuichi stared at the phone in his hand. Damn it, he probably shouldn't have said that. It would most likely just piss Eiri off. He had just got so frustrated.

He'd managed to get away to a quiet spot here at the gate in the hope he wouldn't be bothered or overheard, going so far as to try and hide behind some plants growing in a flowerbed to avoid recognition by passing pedestrians. The last think he needed was to be mobbed by squealing fans. Yuki would not be impressed to hear that in the background when he answered.

Only that was the problem. The man wouldn't answer!

When Shuichi had first dialed, the call had gone immediately to the message bank. He'd hung up quickly, without leaving a message. He had been expecting to hear it ring at least a few times. Suddenly the bars of 'Rage Beat' jingled in his hand, startling him so much that he had to juggle the phone quickly to prevent it from falling to the ground. He looked at the screen and saw Yuki's name and number indicating a missed call. Oh; he quickly redialed.

Once again it went straight through to the message bank and once more he quickly hung up. What was happening? Obviously Yuki had his phone because it said he'd tried to call. He was brought out of his thoughts by the sound of music again and sure enough Yuki's number appeared again.

Shuichi frowned and gave a small exasperated sigh. Why couldn't he get hold of the man?

He dialed once more but the message bank picked it up and once again he just hung up. This time, as he looked at the silent phone, he began to laugh at himself. Oh, geez, why was he acting like such an idiot? What was the matter; was he was afraid of leaving an actual message for Yuki? Oh, how much more pathetic could he get?

Get a grip, he scolded himself. It is just a phone, and it is just a message. Just call him back and talk to him. The phone gave a sudden beep and he saw that a message was waiting for him. Quickly he called it up, almost holding his breath, waiting to hear what was said.

His ear was suddenly blasted with, "Get off the damn phone!". He stared at it, eyes round with surprise.

Geez, he snorted, hanging up. Fine, he would try once more.

He dialed again but once more the message bank picked it up. This is getting downright ridiculous, he thought, beginning to feel just a little angry. So this time he did leave a message, short and succinct, and he was very proud of himself to not include any expletives as Yuki was so wont to do.

"What are you doing? Call me back."

Now, now he was having second thoughts about leaving that message. Yuki was just as likely to take it all the wrong way and get pissed off at him and then he'd never talk to him!

That worrying thought immediately sent his fingers flying over the keypad. He'd better get hold of Yuki straight away and tell him he's sorry.

"Fucking hell!" Yuki shouted as the call went to the message bank once more. "Get the fuck off the phone!" he almost screamed into it.

This time the phone beeped to say there was a message. By this time Yuki was more than a little hot under the collar and almost just deleted the waiting message outright but he stayed his hand, angrily pressing the button to let it play. He listened as Shuichi apologized for the previous message.

Well, at least the idiot realized that he shouldn't have said it.

Then Yuki thought about his last message, just sent. Ah, shit! Now he's done it. The little idiot would be pissed off at him again. Hell, he couldn't seem to catch a break! He's better do something to try and apologise as well or he was never going to speak to him again!

So what could he do? Phoning was completely out of the question now. They had both just proved that was a useless mechanism for them to communicate. He stared at the phone in his hand in distaste. Fucking modern technology, he snarled under his breath.

So if he couldn't phone him what could he do? He looked at his watch. It wasn't that late. He knew Shuichi was scheduled for a concert tonight so he would be up till late. If he headed home now he could throw a few things into a bag and get to the station on time and be in Osaka only three hours later. He would still catch him.

He turned away and went back into the house.

Shuichi had just hung up from sending his apology when the phone beeped to say there was a waiting message. That was quick, he thought, seeing Yuki's name. He called it up and then was forced to hold the phone away from his ear as the scathing words blasted out of it. What the…?! Hell, it's not his fault that that jerk was always on the phone!

That's it, he wasn't standing for this any longer! He had tried to do the right thing and apologise when he had felt he'd done the wrong thing, but this was going just too far! He was not going to play this game anymore! Angrily he shoved his phone into his pocket and stormed off, intending to find Hiro and Suguru and actually finish having fun this day.

And to hell with Eiri Yuki!

"I'm going." Yuki said, grabbing his jacket and putting the phone on the table as he dressed.

"Going?" Tohma asked, his tone indicating he guessed that Yuki wasn't just speaking about leaving there for the evening.

He just met Tohma's steady gaze, not saying anything. Then a slow smile spread across Tohma's face and he inclined his head slightly. "That is good news." he said quietly.

"Drive carefully," Mika called out from the kitchen. "Don't forget to say goodbye to the children."

"All right," Yuki walked into the room at the far end of the hall, the furtherest from the bustling area of kitchen and living room, but found his two nephews still sleeping, not having awoken yet from their afternoon nap. Not surprising really when they had been hard at it playing samurai with their Uncle Tatsuha right up till the moment their mother pulled the covers over them.

He reached out and gave a soft pat on the light hair of each before leaving the room quietly so as not to disturb them. As he made his way down the hall he heard his phone ring and hurried his steps.

"Hey, it's Shu!" Tatsuha said, holding his phone and reading the screen.

"Give it here," Yuki snarled, reaching out to retrieve his possession.

"Uh, uh," Tatsuha teased, holding it out of reach.

Yuki's face clouded over like thunder. "Give it the fuck back!"

He lunged and grabbed for it, surprising his brother, but in the brief tussle that followed, the call was disconnected.

"Fuck you, dickhead!" Yuki shouted at his brother, furious at losing contact with Shuichi once again.

"What's the big deal? Just call him back!" Tatsuha tried to brush aside his actions. "You didn't want to talk to him anyway!"

Yuki suddenly swung and his fist connected with Tatsuha's face, sending him stumbling back to land on the floor, one hand going to his struck cheek. He glared up at his brother, fire building in his eyes as he gathered himself to throw himself at Yuki.

"Enough!" Mika's strident voice brought them both to a halt. She stood between them. "Tats, get outside and cool off!" she commanded. "Eiri, sit down!"

Tatsuha grumbled but did as he was told. Eiri didn't.

"Pick up the phone and call Shuichi and ignore Tats," Mika said evenly.

Yuki thrust his jaw out belligerently.

"Eiri, do it. The only person you're punishing is yourself – and Shuichi." Mika turned away, still muttering under her breath and although Yuki couldn't make the words out distinctly, the tone was definitely uncomplimentary and most certainly directed at both her erring brothers.

Yuki slowly picked up the phone and left the house. As he sat in his car he redialed. The phone rang and rang. Was Shuichi ignoring him completely now? At least it hadn't gone to that damn message bank. Finally he heard the click of a connection and Shu's voice.

"Hello?" It sounded a little cold.

"Tatsuha is an idiot," Yuki said without preamble.

"Huh?" Shuichi's surprise was evident in his tone.

"Tatsuha thought he was being smart in grabbing my phone and your call was cut off." It wasn't exactly an apology, he knew, but it was as close as it was likely to get coming from him at this time. He just couldn't bring himself to say anything more, not when he was still feeling so angry towards his brother.

Shuichi hadn't been certain he would even answer the phone when it had begun to ring, showing that the call was coming from Yuki. He had stared at the flashing lights for some time before he had flicked it open. In fact, he had been so angry at being cut off before that he had been quite ready to scream and yell abuse at Yuki, but he now found he had been thrown completely off guard by the mention of Tatsuha. Yes, he could imagine some sort of insanity occurring between the brothers that had resulted in his call suffering the brunt of whatever it had been. Now his anger was beginning to fade.

"Okay, I'm not even going to try asking just what the hell has been going on," he said, pinching the bridge of his nose with eyes closed. "I'm sure it will just give me a headache."

"Tell me about it," Yuki replied.

"I've been trying to call you." he said.

"I've been trying to call you." Yuki responded. "You were always on the phone."

"So were you!" Shuichi shot back.

"That's because I was trying to reach you!" Yuki sounded almost defensive.

"And I was trying to call you!" Shuichi could feel the anger returning again. How dare Yuki try and blame this all on him!

Yuki could hear Shuichi's heavy breathing in a way that usually only indicated two things; he was horny or he was angry. And as he didn't think Shuichi really got that excited about yelling over the phone he would have to go with the latter.

He sighed. "Fine. We're both idiots. That's why I hate modern technology."

Shuichi chuckled down the connection. "Except for your laptop."

"Except for that." Yuki agreed reluctantly.

"Why were you calling?" Shuichi asked him.

"Why were you?" He countered quickly, not wanting to say now. He was sure to sound quite pathetic if he said he just wanted to hear his voice!

"I asked you first," Shuichi wasn't letting him off the hook that easily it would seem.

"I….just wanted to see how you were going," he muttered under his breath.

"Oh, it's going fine," Shuichi replied lightly. "How about you?"

"I'm fine," There was silence for a few heartbeats then Yuki asked, "What were you calling me for?"

"Oh the same," was the only answer he received. Hardly anything earth-shattering there, Yuki grumbled silently.

There was silence for a moment more, then Yuki blurted out, "I was going…", just as Shuichi also spoke, "I wanted to…"

They both halted their sentences.

"Sorry," Shuichi said. "You go first."

"No, you go." Yuki felt his face flushing. He reached up a hand to his brow and was surprised to feel moisture. Hell, he was sitting here sweating!

He heard Shuichi's sigh over the line. "Why is it always so hard for us?" he said.

"Uhmm," Yuki wasn't quite certain what to say to that. He was right. It did always seem hard for them just to have a conversation. When had it become like this? Or had it always been this way?

He steeled himself against his instinctive reaction to not say anything, not admit anything, and spoke. "I was calling because I wanted to come and see you." he said in a rush, cringing at the way it sounded.

There was silence for a moment, then Shuichi responded, "You were?" His voice rose on the last word, almost cracking so great was his surprise.

"Yeah," Yuki admitted.

"W…when?" Shuichi stuttered a little as though he was having difficulty forming the word.

"Tonight."

"Oh."

Silence again and Yuki's hand groped for his cigarettes again. He'd already stubbed out the last and he was feeling in dire need of a nicotine fix just at the moment to calm his nerves. He couldn't even remember when the last time was that he was this nervous!

"So," He took a gulp of air. "That all right?"

"Oh! Yeah, sure! I mean, I was… I mean," Shuichi's words trailed off.

"What?" Yuki asked, giving into temptation and drawing out a cigarette, clasping it between his teeth to remove it from the packet.

"I…was calling you to ask if you would like to meet somewhere. Though," and Shuichi's voice became a little softer. "I didn't know if you were too busy to come."

"Humph," was Yuki's replied as he withdrew the cigarette lighter and placed the glowing end to tip of his smoke. He inhaled deeply, then blew out the lungful of smoke before continuing. "I can make it for a few days."

"Really?" Shuichi sounded surprised. "You've got the time?"

"Yeah, I have nothing pressing at the moment. So…" Yuki paused for a moment, "if you want me to, I can stay a little while." He held his breath for Shuichi's answer.

"That's great!"

Yuki was so startled by the sudden exuberance in Shuichi's voice that he almost choked on his next inhalation.

Shuichi continued, speaking rapidly. "I mean, if you come down tonight we're still Osaka and we'll be here for a few days so we can look around a bit together. It'll be fun doing some sight-seeing because I normally don't get that much time to do so, or I just don't feel like doing it on my own. Hiro and Suguru aren't always interested in some of the things that I am, you know. And then, I don't know if you've got the time, but you could come with us to Kyoto so we can spend more time there. I know you know everything there is to know about there because it's your home but there are heaps of places I haven't been too. I really want to go to Toei Movie Land, it's been years since I've gone there. You'd come, wouldn't you, Eiri? You don't have to dress up or anything like if you don't want to, but you'd still come with me, wouldn't you?"

He finally paused for breath and Yuki was able to say something. "I could probably manage that." He thought about it for a bit. "I guess I could probably manage to be with you for about a week if that suits you."

"A week?! Oh, wow, that'd be fantastic! We could do so much, and that means you can spend time here in Osaka and in Kyoto! So when will you get here?"

Yuki looked at his watch, time was ticking away quickly. "If I really get a move on I should manage to be there around midnight. Can you have someone pick me up at the station?"

"Not a problem," Shuichi assured him quickly. "I'll get Sakano or K to do it. We will only be finishing up after the concert so it won't be like both of them have to still be with us. I'll tell them straight away."

"Okay." Yuki agreed.

"Uhm," Shuichi suddenly sounded a little unsure.

"Yes?" Yuki hoped he wasn't about to change his mind now.

"Ah, have you booked anywhere to stay? I mean, do you have a hotel yet?"

"No, I'll do that when I get there." Yuki started the car and began to drive. If he really was going to make the train on time he had to get moving.

"It's just that things are pretty packed here at the moment, you might find it hard to find somewhere."

"Are you saying that I shouldn't come?"

"NO!"

Shuichi sounded frantic and Yuki could just picture him flapping his arms or doing something equally ridiculous.

"No, all I'm saying is that it might be hard for you to find somewhere. And if you couldn't, you could always….ah…"

"What?" Just what was Shuichi trying to say now, Yuki wondered.

He heard Shuichi draw in a deep breath. "If you can't find anywhere you can stay with me." he said.

Yuki nearly ran into the car in front of him in shock. He stamped hard on the brakes, hearing them squeal and sat for a moment looking at the red tail lights before him. He let his breath out in a whoosh, relief flooding through him.

"Yuki? Yuki!" Shuichi's voice reached him through the phone. "Are you all right? Say something!"

"I'm fine," he muttered, glad he'd already finished his cigarette because it wouldn't have survived this near miss. "You just surprised me."

"Sorry," Shuichi said. "I just meant…"

"I know what you meant." Yuki responded gruffly, moving away with the flow of traffic again. "And I appreciate the offer. The hotel can always throw another bed in the room."

"They wouldn't have to," Shuichi said hurriedly. "There's a spare bed here already. I've got a room with two double beds."

Yuki raised an eyebrow as he pictured it. "What did they think you were going to do?" he said. "Have an orgy or something?"

"I hope not!" Shuichi said, laughter in his voice. "I really hope that isn't what they think of me!"

"Whatever," Yuki said, feeling thankful to see that he was nearing home. "Let's see what happens when I get there."

"Well, yeah, we could do," Shuichi said. "But I was just thinking then that why even bother trying to look somewhere else."

Yuki didn't say anything as he navigated into his parking bay.

Shuichi continued. "Since I do have the extra bed already here doesn't it make more sense that you just stay here? It would make it easier if we want to do stuff instead of trying to go back and forth between different hotels, don't you think?"

Yuki turned off the engine and tried to still his heartbeat that was pounding hard in his chest at the thought of staying in the same room as Shuichi. He didn't know if it would be a blessing or a curse, being that close to him, sleeping in the same room, being around him almost 24/7. Could he cope with that? But then, could he cope not being like that? The thought of not seeing Shuichi made his heart hurt.

That answered his question. "Okay, I'll accept your offer," he said, getting out of the car and locking it. "I'm going to pack now and go straight to the station so just make sure someone is at the other end to collect me."

"I promise!" Shuichi said happily. "I can't wait to see you!"

"Me too," Yuki admitted.

"Bye!" and Shuichi hung up.

Yuki rang for a taxi and then stuffed the phone back into his pocket before throwing all dignity to the wind as he ran up the stairs to his apartment. Once inside he hurriedly stuffed a few pieces of clothing and toiletries into a small bag and headed back out the door to where the taxi was ready and waiting. If he had forgotten anything he could always just buy it so he wasn't too concerned. He managed to just make it as the train was going to be leaving and thankfully settled into his seat with a sigh.

As he looked out the window at the darkening world he wondered at just what he was doing. He'd never thought he would act like this, dropping everything on just a whim, chasing after someone.

But Shuichi was special. He had been from the moment he had walked so unexpectedly into his life. It may have taken him a long time to realize that, and even longer to be able to accept it but once he had he had felt so much happier. Somehow it had seemed that his view on life had taken on a whole new perspective, and every way that he thought of his life and his future had featured Shuichi. So he wasn't about to let that go. He had to keep trying, he had to keep hoping that he could convince Shuichi that it was right.

He had to just hope that Shuichi felt the same way.


	14. Chapter 14

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings:** bad language

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, they belong to the creator of 'Gravitation'.

Unlocking My Love: Chapter 14

"Yuki!"

He turned and was surprised to see Shuichi standing at the kerb, waving. He finished lighting his cigarette before picking up his bag and walking over to where his partner waited.

"Thought you said someone else would be collecting me," he commented as he reached Shuichi. "What are you doing here?"' He suddenly stopped, eyeing the vehicle. "Don't tell me you're driving?!" He couldn't keep the horror out of his voice. Shuichi's prior attempts at driving had never ended well and Yuki had sworn that he would never be a passenger to his diver as long as he was alive. If he did, living would be exactly the problem!

Shuichi grinned at him. "Nah, don't panic. We've got a driver! Get in," he motioned.

Yuki tossed his bag in the trunk and slipped into the back seat next to Shuichi, who was still grinning broadly at him. Their driver was separated from them by a pane of glass with a small sliding panel built into it. He also noticed there was an intercom system for if the passenger required to speak to the driver. Pretty flash. But then again, he wouldn't have expected anything less. Tohma Seguchi made certain that NG Productions had the best of everything.

"So are you surprised? I thought it would be nice to meet you in person." Shuichi was saying. "We'd finished up earlier than I expected so there didn't seem much point sending someone else."

"So how was it?" Yuki asked, puffing on his cigarette. The faint whirr of the air conditioning sucked the pollutant away efficiently, leaving almost nothing behind as the faint lemon freshener scent almost completely over-rode any lingering aroma.

"What? The concert?" Shuichi looked surprised at his interest, but his smile soon returned. "Great!" he exclaimed, his eyes lit with remembered excitement. "Opening nights can really go either way; a total flop with nothing coming together, to just mind blowing. So much depends on the people. Tonight though was really good and the crowd just fantastic! You should have heard the screams!"

Oh, Yuki could imagine that part easily enough. Especially if Shuichi had been wearing his new 'look'. Leather, bare muscular skin and fake tattoos were a turn on for most people, no matter how much they might try to deny it. Anyway, it was for him!

In a matter of moments they had reached the hotel and Yuki followed Shuichi through the wide doors swished open as they approached and greeted by a doorman in a dashing uniform that had been pressed to within an inch of its life.

"You don't need to bother about checking in." Shuichi said, taking them past the reception area. "I've already let them know you're going to be here with me and given them your name and details. The cost is going to be picked up by NG anyways." Shuichi grinned a little evilly. "I didn't think Tohma would mind since it's you!"

"Huh." was Yuki's only response. Stuff what Tohma minded anyway, he wasn't about to leave now!

They went up the lift in silence, Yuki using this moment to look Shuichi over. He was looking good, as usual. He had that glow about him that he always had after a show, the eyes were always much brighter and the grin much wider. Playing live seemed to bring out another layer of Shuichi's more than exuberant energy and it usually took a while for it to dissipate. Of course, in the past he had been more than able to take advantage of that state. He had soon discovered that Shuichi was far, far more sensitive and passionate during this time, not to mention that his stamina levels went up. Although Yuki had never admitted it to him, more than one time he had been close to exhaustion from a session with Shuichi after a concert. It was just lucky that he'd been able to satisfy his younger partner enough that he was content to just go and watch tv or play video games to expunge the last of any residue of that energy!

However, on the other side, he couldn't help but feel almost constantly surprised as he continued to grapple with this more matured and even organised Shuichi. He seemed nothing like his usually idiotic self now and that was something that Yuki still found slightly unnerving.

He waited as Shuichi unlocked the door and waved him inside, following after. Looking around the spacious suite laid out before him, taking noted of the plush décor, it now made sense why Shuichi had extended the invitation to him. The place was huge!

He made his way over to the second bed which didn't have clothes of all types strewn over it and set his bag down on the cover.

"If you want to smoke you can do so on the balcony." Shuichi said. He looked a little apologetic. "This is a non smoking room, sorry."

"That's fine," Yuki said, even as he made a bee-line for the balcony door. He really did want another cigarette. The one in the car hadn't lasted long enough and he needed to keep himself occupied and calm his racing pulse now that he was here.

"Do you want a drink?" Shuichi called out from inside the room.

"Yeah, a beer," he answered, lighting up.

Shuichi join him a moment after, holding out a beer, a second in his hand for himself. "Here you go,"

"Thanks," Yuki accepted.

"So what are your plans while you are here?" Shuichi asked, leaning on the railing.

Yuki glanced over at him. "Nothing in particular," He took a swallow of his drink. "What about you?"

"Well, tomorrow morning we've got a post-concert meeting," Shuichi grimaced. "It's standard practice just to go over how it went. We may make some technical changes and if necessary rehearse a bit as well so I may not have a lot of free time before the concert that night."

"Hmm,"

"But we could maybe still do something!" Shuichi said hurriedly. "Something that won't take too long or stuff."

"It's no big deal." Yuki replied, taking a drag on his cigarette.

"Don't…you want to do anything now?" Shuichi asked in a small voice.

Yuki mentally slapped himself and tried to think of what to say which wouldn't be misinterpreted, and preferably didn't sound so sickenly mushy that he would want to throw up!

"I meant, that if you were busy, we can do something some other time. I understand that you've got a job to do and that comes first."

"Oh," Shuichi's face cleared and his voice brightened once more. "Oh, okay. Well, there are quite a few things to do around Osaka. I don't know what you've seen before." He looked questioning over at Yuki.

Yuki thought back and realised that he probably hadn't seen many of the normal sights of the town. He had never been one for crowds so the usual attractions held no appeal to him, and to be honest, most of the things were better enjoyed with company and not on your own.

"I really haven't had the opportunity to look around much myself," he told Shuichi. "So probably anywhere would be okay. Within reason." He couldn't help but add, dreading to think that Shuichi would haul him off to a drag queen show or something equally bizarre.

"Really? Yeah, I guess you're normally busy too if you're visiting here." Shuichi's smile spread widely. "That just means there're heaps of things to choose from! Are you sure there isn't anything special that you might like to see?"

Yuki stubbed out the cigarette and let it fall from the balcony, disappearing in the darkness on its descent to the ground. "I said no, didn't I?" he growled. "You think of something and just let me know."

"Okay, okay! Just don't complain about what I choose!"

Shuichi then suddenly yawned. "Sorry," he said sheepishly. "Guess I'm a little tired."

Yuki could see his eyes beginning to get that slightly glazed look which meant that sleep was not far away. It was really quite adorable, even appearing on this more mature person.

"So am I, so why don't we call it a day?" he said, amending what he had been going to say. It had sounded wrong to ask Shuichi if he wanted to go to bed – that just had way too many connotations attached to it at the moment!

"You can stay up if you want to," Shuichi said, smothering another yawn. "It won't keep me awake."

"It's fine. It's been a long day for me as well." Yuki replied, turning and heading inside.

Shuichi locked the balcony door behind them although Yuki couldn't imagine what they would have to worry about being on the 20th floor so who the hell was going to be trying to sneak through their windows?!

"Do you want to take a shower?" Shuichi asked. "I've already had one so you can help yourself."

"Yeah, I will." A cold shower might be well and truly in order, though firstly he was going to have to get something else out of the way so he didn't feel like he was going to burst. He'd been able to keep his desire in check up to now but it had been more than a little difficult and he knew that spending the night so close to Shuichi in this way was only going to make it more uncomfortable. So he intended to take things in hand and get it over with now so hopefully his dreams would not be too disturbed. Or worse, he tried to jump Shuichi again!

He rummaged through his bag and gathered his toiletries and change of clothing, then headed for the door leading to the bathroom that Shuichi had indicated.

If he had thought that all the space had gone to making the other rooms as large as what they were, he had been wrong. The bathroom was equivalent in size; a large spa bath taking up one corner with enough seating for eight, a double shower stretched across the other wall, mirrors stretched from the top of the double bench vanity to the ceiling. He almost expected there to be mirrors on the ceiling also and couldn't stop himself from looking up to check. No, thankfully.

As he made his way towards the shower, the plush mats soft under his feet, the gleaming tiles showing his distorted reflection, he couldn't stop his racing thoughts. If he had hoped that by coming here he would be able to calm them he was being sadly disabused. This room generated far too many fantasies, almost more than he could cope with. The shower was more than large enough for two people, no matter what they were trying to do. The vanity bench was just the right height to sit someone on it and he could either be kneeling before them or doing something far more intense. The fact of the mirrors alone was enough to add further excitement to his dream images as he could imagine being able to see Shuichi's naked form from all directions at once.

Although the spa bath could seat a number of people all he could think of was that it was certainly large enough for the two of them and the thought of being able to wrap himself around Shuichi entirely, their bodies buoyant in the water was quite intoxicating.

He remained standing where he was for a moment longer, frozen in place as he gazed at the bath. The best image that came to mind was Shuichi in there alone, floating, bath foam thick over the surface of the water with just tantalising glimpses of bare flesh now and then as an arm was lifted or a leg was raised.

Then Shuichi standing and the foam clinging to his body slowly sliding down his limbs, leaving glistening trails behind on every portion of exposed skin. Ah, what a vision that was!

He forced himself from his immobilised state and almost staggered to the shower, turning it on quickly. He almost turned it directly to cold but instead left it as a pleasant warmth and stepped under it as soon as it was ready.

He closed his eyes and leant forward with one hand against the tiles before him as support and then proceeded to swiftly give himself relief. It didn't take long. Under any other circumstances he would have been embarrassed at such a lack of control but he wasn't here trying to impress anyone or prove anything. He just needed the release and he had needed it desperately.

He leant there for a moment after the final shudder had subsided. His thoughts were too often filled with Shuichi, and too many of them were sexually charged. Yuki knew that he was a sexual creature. He had used sex has an emotional crutch for a long, long time, a way of feeling something, anything during a time in his life when he was no longer in touch with his normal feelings. That brief fleeting moment during climax where he could actually 'feel' something was just that – brief and fleeting. It never lasted beyond the finale.

Until he had begun to have sex with Shuichi. Then that feeling had kept lasting longer and longer afterwards until it had spilt over into his entire life and permeated his every waking moment until he could no longer live without it. He wanted to have that back.

He took a deep breath and cleaned himself up, washing quickly. He didn't want Shuichi to start wondering what he was taking so long for and beginning to get worried or anything. He had to make certain that he maintained his calm and gave Shuichi no indication that he was going to lose control again. No matter how difficult it was on him.

He retuned to the bedroom to see Shuichi stripped down to nothing but boxers, pulling back the covers of the bed. His heart skipped a beat as he noticed the scars that he hadn't seen before. The winding one stretching from those on the neck that he had noticed in Quebec and now could see ran down his back. As Shuichi moved he saw the white and red puckered mark spreading across his stomach also. Letting his eyes move downwards he saw the long thin scar running down Shuichi's leg, final proof of that injury that he had only noticed previously from his occasional limp.

His chest tightened, almost hurting as he took in all the harm that had been inflicted upon this small form before him. None of these denoted minor injuries. They would have been deep and painful and would have hurt. No, they would have been agony and Shuichi had had to live with that. Live with it and survive it.

And he'd had to do it on his own. Yuki could barely comprehend how he could have done it. Completely alone and in such pain with no-one there to hold him, to reassure him, and wipe away his tears. Yuki almost wept then himself, cried for the pain that Shuichi had had to suffer, cried for the fact that he hadn't been able to be with him at that time.

Shuichi noticed that he had returned to the room, starting a little in surprise. "Oh, I didn't see you there!"

He reached out and picked up a tank top, slipping it over his head. Although it didn't hide all the scars it did block from view the worst on his back and stomach. Yuki guessed that Shuichi was probably a little self-conscious of them after all although his movements hadn't been particularly hurried. He forced himself to keep walking, pretending as though he had seen nothing out of the ordinary.

"Sorry to keep you waiting," he muttered, clearing his own bed and turning down the covers.

"You didn't take that long," Shuichi replied. He smiled as he bounced onto the mattress. "I hope you'll find the bed comfortable," he said, pulling the covers up. "It's a little harder than you like."

Yuki sat and bounced a little. Shuichi was right. Usually he did like it softer but it wouldn't be unbearable.

He laid back, tucking hands behind his head, looking up at the ceiling. Not that it was a particularly interesting ceiling, he was just trying to think of what to say. As usual, Shuichi beat him to it.

"Thanks for taking the time to come down," Shuichi said.

Yuki turned his head to look over at the other occupant of the room. Shuichi lay on his side, looking his way.

"Not a problem," he said a little uncomfortably. "Thanks for the invite."

"Not a problem," Shuichi mimicked him with a smile. He yawned then widely, showing gleaming white teeth.

"Shut up and go to sleep," Yuki told him.

Shuichi stuck his tongue out and wriggled a little, obviously getting more comfortable. He yawned again.

"Then turn off the lights," he said, closing his eyes. "You were the last one in bed. You know the rule."

Yuki glared at him. It had been a rule they had had, only because he made absolutely certain that he was always the first in bed so Shuichi was forced to get the lights. Unless he was up doing an all-nighter with his writing. But when they were heading to bed together, Yuki made certain that rule was enforced.

Now the damn idiot was calling him out on it!

"I am the guest," he growled. "Which means it is your job to get the lights!"

Shuichi opened his eyes. "Hey, you said that you were thinking of coming down anyway, so if I hadn't agreed to it you wouldn't have been a guest but an uninvited interloper. So you should get the lights!"

Yuki sat up. "That is the most stupid thing I've ever heard! Only a moron would come up with that?!"

"And only a jerk would have thought up the rule in the first place!" Shuichi snapped sitting up also.

They glared at each other across the space separating the two beds, covers rumpled around their waists.

"Why you…." Yuki began, and then was cut off as a pillow came sailing through the air and caught him full in the face.

"Wha……!!!!!" He sat there stunned for a moment, the pillow now resting in his lap as he stared at the red-faced Shuichi as he tried to muffle the laughter and only succeeding in making him snort in his mirth. That damn brat had just thrown a pillow at him!

He swiftly picked it up, returning it in kind, and quickly following it up with a second snatched from his own bed. The first caught Shuichi on the top of his bowed head, the second directly in the face when he looked up in surprise at the return volley.

"Hey!" The pillows returned to Yuki's side of the room, only to be flung back with now a third added. On the returned journey they now numbered four and Yuki managed to capture them all with no sufferance and lobbed them back at Shuichi as one large mass instead of individuals.

The younger man looked for a moment like he'd been buried under a cave-in of while blocks from which he erupted with a growl and suddenly the pillows began to fly in earnest.

Yuki hadn't realised when he started laughing. He wasn't laughing uproariously the way Shuichi was, hiccups and snorts punctuating the sound. No, his laughter was more of a quiet chuckle. He refused to consider that it sounded sinister in any way, despite the fact that it even gave himself a little bit of a weird feeling doing it.

Finally, the pillow fight stopped. More due to the lack of ammunition than intention to cease the battle, as the pile of white shapes littered the floor between them with not a single one surviving on the beds they had been intended for.

Shuichi threw himself onto his back, still laughing, a broad smile on his face. He reached up to wipe the tears of laughter from his face.

"Oh, man," he said, still chuckling. "That feels so good!" He looked over at Yuki. "I can't believe that you just had a pillow fight! Hardly goes with your suave, cool romance novelist image!"

Yuki scowled. "It was only because you started it!" he defended.

Shuichi rolled his eyes and then, without getting out of bed, reached to the floor and snagged a pillow, bringing it back to his bed. "Well, now I really am ready to go to sleep. That was damn hard work!"

Yuki copied his actions and pulled two pillows up, settling them where he wanted before lying down. "I'm still not turning the lights off." he stated, closing his eyes to make it quite clear.

He heard Shuichi's quiet chuckled. "You don't have to," he said, and then a click plunged the room into darkness. "The controls are right here."

Yuki suppressed a quiet snort of humour. Damn idiot had deliberately tried to rile him. All to just have a pillow fight!

He rolled over to his side, looking over to where Shuichi lay. In the darkness all he could make out was a slight bump in the bed, nothing more. He felt his lips still curved in a smile. Ah, well, it was a good pillow fight, he thought. And he was sure that he won.


	15. Chapter 15

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings:** bad language

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, they belong to the creator of 'Gravitation'.

Unlocking My Love: Chapter 15

He wasn't awake yet.

Deep in his mind he knew that, still floating in that warm blankness of slumber, relaxed and comfortable. There was no reason for his consciousness to wake but it stirred just slightly to register something. A touch, a sensation, something that seemed to brush against his hair for just a fleeting moment and then was gone and the tendril of thought fell back into blissful blankness.

Yuki rolled over onto his back, yawning widely as he did so, arms sliding from beneath the covers to stretch over his head for a moment.

He yawned again, this time cracking an eye open to look around him. He was thankfully not assaulted by any bright light. Shuichi had considerately left the curtains pulled shut so the room was still shrouded in darkness. He sat up, glancing around and noted that a breakfast tray was set out on the table by the window.

He scratched a hand through his hair, raking nails over his scalp and yawned again. His hand paused for a moment as he tugged at his fringe. Hadn't he felt something earlier? He frowned, trying to remember but it was just a vague thought that something had touched him during the night. Perhaps Shuichi had tried to wake him after all. Not surprising he hadn't succeeded. He had really been very tired. Too many restless nights in a row had completed exhausted him.

He stood up and stretched again, reaching hands towards the ceiling, rolling his shoulders and neck. That felt so good! For the first time in a long time he actually felt that he had had a decent sleep.

He padded over to the tray and lifted the covers to gaze down at the meal. Not bad, he thought, as his stomach lightly rumbled in agreement. He turned to search for his cigarettes, finding them laid out on the bedside table. That's funny, he thought as he picked them up, he didn't remember putting them there last night. In fact he would have sworn they had still been in his jacket when he'd gone to bed.

He lit one as he looked around and noticed that the clothing that he had worn the previous day and shed before his shower, tossing them onto a chair at the foot of the bed, was also gone. What the hell was going on?

He walked over to the long wardrobe and slid open the door to see his clothing neatly hanging there next to Shuichi's. Oh, Shuichi must have hung them up for him. Huh.

The call of coffee, the aroma of which he had been smelling since he awoke, pulled him back to his breakfast. Well, he might as well make this leisurely, he thought, pouring a cup and taking it with him as he dragged the curtains back. He winced a little at the sudden brightness but was happy enough to step outside into the fresh air to smoke his cigarette.

There was no rush at the moment. He could have breakfast, although when he glanced at the clock inside the room, realized that it would be more accurate to call it brunch. Anyway, he could eat, read the paper as he had noticed it neatly folded by the tray, take his time showering and shaving and then he would call Shuichi and see what time he thought he might be finishing today.

The thought of seeing Shuichi made his heart give a thump and his blood tingle. He almost didn't believe he was here with him, it all seemed so surreal. Yuki still found that he was grappling with this new situation between the two of them. Shuichi was different – hell, if he was completely honest with himself, he was different too. The events of the past year, the trauma and pain he had experienced had altered his way of thinking as well. How sudden it had been; the loss of Shuichi's presence by his side; the knowledge that he may have lost him for good was still terrifying and had left an indelible scar on his soul. He didn't want that again.

And it had made him, perhaps for the first time in his adult life, to actually realize what was truly important to him; Shuichi, first and foremost, but also his family and friends. Without Tohma's assistance and steadying presence by his side during those first months he didn't know if he could have gone on at all. Mika and Tatsuha's unobtrusive ways of looking after him and helping him once he had returned to Japan.

Even Mizuki's constant dedication to his well-being and support through it all went far beyond her duties as his editor, and he had to include Jim Harris in that also for his constant efforts, as well as the two detectives, Ryo and Dee, in New York.

He hadn't expected to find new friends through this ordeal but he had. People who had helped him, supported and assisted him through his search, people who actually seemed interested, even cared about him and also Shuichi. He really did want Shuichi to meet those people in America. He was sure he would like them too.

He sipped at the cooling coffee, his cigarette long finished. It had been quite a journey, in more ways than one. A journey that began as a search just for a person, yet it also became a journey for himself finding his heart again, learning to care, accepting the love he felt, realizing that he needed these things in his life. No, not just needed them, but actually wanted them, truly and honestly wanted them in his life. The thought of that love being completely absent, of returning to the way his life had been before was not something that he wanted.

But even acknowledging those changes in himself and knowing that his what he wanted, he still found it hard to deal with it. It was all so foreign to him that he was grappling with these new thoughts and emotions, and he was the world's worst at expressing such things. Endearments and compliments did not roll easily off his tongue, his first thoughts were generally cutting and sarcastic. It was hard to break habits of a lifetime and he sometimes wondered if he ever could.

Still, Shuichi seemed to accept him the way he was, even now. Well, most times. He cringed inwardly as he remembered the mess he had created only a week ago, that night he had got drunk and took his frustrations and fears out on Shuichi. He had nearly completely blown it then, but even though Shuichi had been pissed off at him he had still forgiven him. He half grimaced. Well, that was Shuichi after all, nothing ever kept him down for long; it never had and never would.

He turned and made his way back into the room. Since he was here now he had the chance to see what would come of things. He needed to know if Shuichi would accept him or not. He was prepared to wait, but what would be the point if there really was no chance? He gripped the edge of the table until his knuckles turned white at that horrific thought. What would he do then?

He squeezed his eyes tightly shut for a moment. He couldn't think like that. It didn't help him in anyway to do so. It was entirely up to Shuichi anyway, but Yuki hoped that perhaps spending this time with him, together, he would get some real sign from Shuichi that he would come back to him.

He was still hopeful. For the glint of gold around Shuichi's neck beckoned to him like a promise waiting to be fulfilled.

Shuichi sat slumped in his chair, head leaning on his crossed arms on top of the table, one hand idly tracing patterns before him.

He wasn't really listening to Sakano as he spoke, his soft voice a comfortable drone in the background of his mind. They had already gone through the most important things that needed to be discussed and apart from a few minor changes they were all pretty happy as to how the concert had gone. The lighting crew were going to set up a few different things, and the sound engineers said they were going to have a look at the equipment as they felt there was some feedback coming through the sound system, but apart from these technical issues, from the performers perspective all the members of Bad Luck were pretty happy with how it had gone. The only thing that was being changed there was that Suguru wanted to be set up a little closer to Hiro so when the guitarist came over to play directly with him he wasn't having to walk so far and thus perhaps lose a little of the vitality of the moment during that particular song.

Shuichi agreed with their assessment as he watched the two of them act out that portion as though they were on stage. Yes, it would work in much better if the distance was shortened and it didn't really affect anything else apart from some lighting.

However, once all those essential points were out of the way Shuichi quickly lost interest as Sakano gave them a run down on the financials as they stood, what was expected of this leg of the tour, and any changes already in for the rest of the concerts. He generally did listen, with at least half an ear, to this part of the debrief but today he just wasn't interested. What was occupying his mind at present was what could he do with Yuki this afternoon?

A small smile touched his lips, hidden from anyone else's view by his folded arms. He had awoken before the alarm had run so had quickly turned it off to prevent it from waking the slumbering occupant in the other bed. He had checked to make certain that Yuki was definitely still asleep before heading off to begin his morning preparations.

He kept his shower short so that the sound of the running water didn't disturb Yuki and was able to dress in the semi-darkness without opening the blinds. Phoning from the bathroom, he arranged for a breakfast tray to be brought up to the room, choosing all the things that he knew that Yuki liked and asking for them to be placed on warmers so no matter what time he awoke it would still be edible.

He intercepted the hotel staff as this arrived before they could ring the bell, and ensured that everything was in order, laying the paper at the side of the tray and quietly ushering the hotel staff member out.

He checked everything over once more and then peered down at the still sleeping man. He does look pretty beat, Shuichi thought, taking note of the shadows around the closed eyes. He probably hadn't been kidding when he said that he was tired. He was glad now that he'd not waken Yuki.

He reached out and gently brushed the long hair away from the closed eyes, the silky strands sliding through his fingers. His hair was getting really long, Shuichi thought, longer than normal. It doesn't look that bad really.

He smiled softly as he lightly stroked the soft hair, withdrawing his hand quickly at the sleep murmur that arose.

Time to go, he thought, as he dashed to the door, securing it behind him and left to start his day.

Now, sitting here in the function room, he only had to think of some place to go this afternoon with Yuki as he had promised, and for the life of him he couldn't come up with a single thing. They had already done Universal Studios, and as much as he would love to go back, he knew that Yuki wouldn't think much of it. No, it would have to be somewhere else, but where?

He suddenly felt a rush of cold as he thought of something else. He would be alone with Yuki. He finger stopped its random patterns and froze. It wasn't that he didn't want to be with Yuki, but being alone with him? For a whole afternoon? He felt a wave of panic begin to swell. What if he did something stupid and pissed Yuki off? What if he said the wrong thing? Oh shit, he thought frantically, his mind racing. He hadn't considered that aspect!

As soon as Sakano finally finished everyone swiftly vacated the room, scattering in all directions to go about their tasks for the rest of the day. Shuichi quickly caught up with Hiro, who had been sitting closer to the door.

"You gotta help me!" he hissed, arm around Hiro's neck and pulling his taller friend down so their heads were even.

"What with?" Hiro whispered back. "And why are we whispering?"

"You and Suguru have got to come out with me this afternoon. And I don't want other people to hear us!"

"I hadn't planned on going anywhere," Hiro said, looking at Shuihci. "I was thinking of just taking it easy before tonight."

"You can take it easy coming out with us." Shuichi stated firmly, not releasing his friend.

"Us?" Hiro was curious now.

"Yeah. Yuki's here." Shuichi felt his face flush a little and hoped his friend didn't notice, though it was unlikely that he could miss it when their faces where only an inch apart.

"He is?" Hiro just raised a brow, not saying anything more. He hoped Shuichi wouldn't notice the slight twitch in the corner of his mouth as he fought the curve of a smile at this unexpected news. Perhaps the two of them were finally going to get somewhere now.

"Yeah, he came down last night and might be able to stay for a little while. So I want to go out places. You know, do stuff together." Shuichi sounded a little flustered and his friend took pity on him.

"So what did you have in mind?" Hiro asked, getting down to business.

"Um, I'm not sure," Shuichi frowned in worry. "I don't really know Osaka very well and I mean I don't want to drag Yuki off to someplace that seems too…over the top. You know how he is."

"What about somewhere fairly common?" A voice asked directly behind them, making them both start in surprise.

They turned to see Suguru standing behind them.

"When did you get here?" Shuichi squeaked.

"I came in at the point where you didn't know where to go." Their third band member replied.

"So you have some ideas?" Hiro asked his other friend.

"Well, I don't know whether you're going to like them. They aren't exactly your type of places I wouldn't think. And I have no idea what Yuki would like."

"Don't worry about that," Shuichi said, waving a hand and brushing Suguru's concern aside. "Where?" he demanded.

"Well, I thought that since you don't want anywhere too over the top, why not go someplace that is still a popular attraction but nothing outlandish. There will still be people around so it won't look like you're trying to just be alone with him or anything, yet there will still be some opportunities for quiet moments."

"That sounds just perfect!" Shuichi said, beaming happily. "Where?"

"The aquarium."

Shuichi stared at his friend. "The …aquarium?" he questioned. "That's got fish."

Suguru frowned at him. "Yes. That's what aquariums generally have."

"I don't know if Yuki's into fish," Shuichi said slowly.

Suguru shrugged, turning away. "It was just a suggestion. No skin off my nose if you don't go."

"Hey, wait!" Shuichi reached out and grabbed his arm, yanking him back, his other arm still around Hiro's neck.

"You know, I think it's a good idea," Hiro commented.

"You do?" Shuichi asked, eyeing his best friend.

Hiro smiled at him. "Yeah. Like Suguru said, there would be enough people to not make it seem like you were trying to go for something intimate, yet it probably won't be packed as Yuki isn't much for crowds. But best of all it certainly does have the …opportunity for you to grab some quiet time together if you want. Or not, depending on how things go."

Shuichi chewed his lip for a moment as he considered it. "You really think it would be okay?" He released his hold on his two friends.

"Don't see why not," Hiro said, straightening up and rolling his shoulders to get rid of the kinks from being bent over for so long.

Shuichi considered it for a moment longer and then began to smile. "I think you're right! I mean we can always leave anyway if we get too bored. It's not like we have to stay there the whole time. And we're still going to have to leave with plenty of time for the concert tonight."

"Precisely," Suguru agreed.

Shuichi began to bounce a little on his toes. "You know, I think it might work!"

"Whatever," Suguru commented, turning away again.

"See, I told you it'd work out," Hiro said, slapping Shuichi on the back, smiling at his friend. "Good luck!" And he also turned to follow Suguru.

"Hey, you two!" Shuichi yelled, closing the distance between then and grabbing them both firmly again. "Where do you think you're going?"

Suguru looked at him with a frown. "I'm going to have a rest," he stated firmly.

"Oh no, you're not," Shuichi said just as firmly, not releasing his grip on their arms. He began to walk, pulling them both reluctantly along. "This is your idea so you are both coming with me to look at fish."

"But I don't want to," Suguru said, trying to dig his heels in but finding no purchase on the shiny tiled floor.

"That's too bad," Shuichi said flatly, ignoring his protest. "There's no way you two are leaving me alone with Yuki!"

Yuki smoked as he waited on the side walk, leaning against the wall, just watching the traffic race past on the road before him. He took another puff on the cigarette, exhaling slowly and shrugged his shoulders in his jacket. It was beginning to get a little cooler. Perhaps he should have put on his coat after all.

He spotted the sleek black car as it turned the corner and pulled up at the front of the hotel. Shuichi immediately stepped out from the back door on the other side, all smiles.

"Sorry we're late," he said.

"That's okay," Yuki replied, dropping the cigarette stub to the ground and stepping forward. As he entered the car, Shuichi also returned to the interior of the vehicle.

"So," Yuki said, trying to keep his voice neutral. "How did it go?"

"Fine," Shuichi replied brightly. "There weren't any real problems."

"That's good."

There was silence for a moment when Yuki broke it. "So where are we going?"

Shuichi didn't answer straight away and looked a little embarrassed, making Yuki immediately suspicious. He was beginning to wonder if this was going to turn out to be a very, very bad idea. Just what had Shuichi picked out?

"I thought you, um, might like some place a little quiet, since it was so late last night," he said. "So I thought perhaps the," Yuki waited for it. "aquarium."

Yuki stared at Shuichi, shock stunning him into complete silence. "Aquarium," he said slowly, fingers twitching as though seeking a cigarette.

"Yeah. I know it's probably not really your thing but it is supposed to be good!"

"Uh huh. Aquarium."

"Yeah," Shuichi nodded, looking at Yuki as though trying to read his expression.

Yuki wished he did have a cigarette. "That's got fish,"

"Uh, yeah," Shuichi agreed.

"Huh,"

Yuki mulled it over, biting back against his instinctive reaction to Shuichi's choice. He didn't do fish. Still it did mean that he was spending time with Shuichi. And he had told him to choose so he supposed fish wasn't too bad considering.

"Okay," he finally muttered.

"Really?" Shuichi said, disbelief clearly evident in his voice as though he hadn't truly expected Yuki to agree to it. Then a look a relief crossed his face as he continued. "It really is supposed to be good!" He tried to reassure Yuki.

"Yeah,"

By this time they were drawing close and Yuki immediately sought out his cigarettes as he exited. If he was going to spend the next few hours looking at, gods forbid, fish, then he definitely needed a smoke now!

He gazed up at the bright blue frontage of the building. He had seen pictures of this place before but hadn't paid that much attention to it really. It certainly had never been high on his list of 'must do's' in his life!

"Come on," Shuichi said with a smile, starting up the steps. He bounded up the first few and Yuki followed more slowly.

"Hey, Shu! Hurry up!" The call carried clearly down to them and Yuki looked up to see Nakano and Fujisaki standing at the top of the stairs where they were heading.

"What are they here for?" he growled, stopping.

Shuichi looked over his shoulder, his smile fading as he saw Yuki's scowl. "Uhm, they wanted to see it too so I thought we could all go together. Do you, ah, not want them here?"

Yuki ground his teeth together and restrained the impulse to just turn and walk away. He'd be damned if he would let Nakano of all people drive him away from Shuichi!

"Forget it." he grumbled and stomped up the remaining stairs, Shuichi hurrying at his side with a worried look still on his face. That only made him feel even angrier. So much for a nice afternoon, just the two of them.

Hiro smiled at him as they reached the top. "Glad you could make it," he said to Shuichi, then, "Hi, Yuki. Long time, no see."

"Nakano," He managed to utter without making it sound like a swear word although his irritation still showed.

Hiro heard it and his smile didn't falter, in fact it seemed to just grow wicked. "This is just going to be so much fun!" He said, sarcasm colouring his voice though his smile didn't slip.

Yuki saw Suguru roll his eyes and turned to acknowledge the third member of Bad Luck. He was acutely aware of Shuichi hovering by his side, still exuding worry vibes and he was angry that his partner was feeling like that. Okay, he would try to make the best of this no matter what. He was sure he could put with the other two for a few hours.

"Fujisaki," he nodded curtly, not wasting words.

"Yuki," Suguru replied just as shortly. At least he didn't have to worry about snide comments from this one, he thought. That would only come from Nakano and he would be hard pressed to not return in kind.

Now that the pleasantries, or not so pleasant pleasantries, were over they all stood for an awkward moment, no-one moving.

Yuki raised his almost finished cigarette to his lips. ""So when do we get this fish feast on the road?" he finally asked.

This seemed to snap Shuichi from his uncertainty and he hurried to the fore, waving them to follow. "Let's go. There's a lot to see and we don't have much time."

As they moved through the aquarium, going from floor to floor, Yuki had to admit that the choice of venue wasn't that bad after all. It was dark so none of them were likely to be noticed easily so there was no dodging of rabid fans. The atmosphere was actually quite soothing and the only drawback being that he couldn't smoke.

Even better was that Nakano and Fujisaki soon separated from them and although they were still present on the same floor or looking at the same exhibit, they were generally on the other side of the room or some distance away. Yuki didn't know if this was by design or not and he didn't really care. As long as he was with Shuichi, that was all that mattered.

And best of all was that Shuichi still seemed happy and comfortable being with him which was all he asked for.

"Wow, that is really big!" Shuichi said with awe, leaning forward to stare at the large sunfish as it slowly swam around the tank.

"It's certainly a lot of sashimi," Yuki drawled, more intent on the touch of Shuichi's shoulder against his as they leant on the railing side by side. It was the closest that Shuichi had come to him during this visit so Yuki wasn't going to do anything to make him move away.

"I could stay here watching this for hours," Shuichi said with a sigh.

"You'd be bored in ten minutes," Yuki replied.

"Hey," Shuichi said, turning his head to look up at him. "I would not!"

"Yeah, right," Yuki said. "You've got the attention span of a firefly."

Shuichi just rolled his eyes. "Just because I know there are so many more interesting things to see and do," he exclaimed. "and speaking of which, we'd better move it!" He turned and grabbed Yuki's arm, tugging him around to follow him.

Yuki grumbled but allowed himself to be pulled along in Shuichi's wake as they caught up to Hiro and Suguru. He saw Hiro glance down at Shuichi's hand wrapped around his arm and the grin that spread across his face. He saw Yuki looking at him but didn't try to hide his amusement. Instead he gave Yuki a broad wink and Yuki felt his cheeks flush a little. Thank goodness it was dark. Was he so damn obvious in his desire to be close to Shuichi?

He turned he head away and ignored Nakano; it was the only way to deal with him. In doing so, Fujisaki met his eyes. The young man's face didn't change at all on seeing Shuichi holding him. He refused to admit that there appeared to be an unseemly twinkle of amusement in the eyes of the normally serious young man. Of course, Fujisaki wouldn't be amused by this. It wasn't in his nature. At least he very much hoped so. The last thing he wanted was him reporting all this back to his cousin! He would be bound to receive an irritating call from Tohma all too soon if that were the case!

"Hey, we'd better get moving," Hiro said, glancing at his watch.

"What? All ready?" Shuichi responded, looking at his own timepiece. "Oh man, you're right But I wanted to see more!" he practically wailed.

"We're nearly finished," Suguru said. "This is the last floor."

"Then we'd better do it fast or we're not going to make it. The last thing we want is for K to turn up here." Hiro said seriously.

They all stood still for a moment as visions of what damage their eccentric manager would do in the fragile environment of the aquarium. Images of fish fragments, charred and singed hulks of sharks, and water cascading down the passages, sweeping them all along like the force of a tidal wave came to them.

Shuichi could picture them all riding on the flat surface of the dead sunfish as they practically surfed the wash of water that would pour from the front of the aquarium and down the steps to the plaza before it. He shuddered. No, he didn't want K inflicting that sort of mayhem on this nice place. Although the vision of Yuki drenched to the skin, wet blond hair slicked back and thin shirt clinging to his torso so his nipples showed through was very tempting and almost enough to change his mind.

He shook that vision away. No, not a good idea – no matter what the perks might be. Lots of dead fish did not balance the scales just to get a vision of a wet Yuki.

"Hey, are you in there still?"

A voice brought him back to the present and he looked up to see Yuki staring down at him. He just gaped at him for a moment, his vision of the man before him soaked with water overlapping the one before him. Oh boy, got to shake that image as he felt his whole body flush with heat.

"Uh, yeah, I'm good." He managed a shaky smile. "Hiro's right. We'd better get going. K could do a hell of a lot of damage here."

"Or anywhere," Suguru put in.

"Well, you'd certainly end up with a few fried fish," Yuki agreed.

"Yeah, not a good thing to have," He grinned. "We'd like to be invited back to Osaka again you know, and destroying one of their main attractions probably wouldn't be the way of going about it!"

They raced through the last of the exhibits and were breathless by the time they reached the exit and waiting car, piling into the vehicle, thankful that there was enough seating for all.

"So are you doing anything tonight?" Shuichi quietly said to Yuki who was sitting next to him as Suguru and Hiro chatted opposite.

He shrugged. "Hadn't thought about it,"

"Would….would you like to come to the concert?" Shuichi asked a little hesitantly.

"Guess I could," was Yuki's bland answer.

"Really? You'll come?"

"You just asked me to, didn't you? Besides, beats sitting around dying of boredom in the hotel room."

They pulled up in front of the hotel just then and Yuki got out, leaving the others seated as they were going directly to the concert venue.

Shuichi leant forward to speak to him. "I'll arrange for someone to pick you up at around 7pm. Then I can see you after the show and we can come back together."

"Yeah, that's fine," Yuki agreed.

Shuichi bestowed one of his 1000 watt smiles on him, stunning him completely. It had been a long time since he had seen that expression and it took his breath away. "See you then!" Shuichi called out, waving

Yuki allowed the door to be slammed shut and watched as the car sped down the street, disappearing from view quickly. He looked at his watch. He'd just have enough time to shower and dress, even have something to eat before it was time to join Shuichi.

He turned and entered the hotel, making his way to the room he was sharing with Shuichi. He tried not to think of it as 'their' room but he couldn't help but feel pleased to enter it and see Shuichi's clothes and other articles strewn around the room beside his as they once used to be. He hoped that sometime soon he would be able to see this every day for many years to come.


	16. Chapter 16

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings:** bad language

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, they belong to the creator of 'Gravitation'.

Unlocking My Love: Chapter 16

"Just wait a minute. I won't be long," Shuichi promised as he rushed past and disappeared into the dressing room.

Yuki made no move to follow him, electing to remain standing in the corridor. As much as it would have been nice to sit down and take it easy in a comfortable chair and away from the bustling activity of the after-concert clean up, it really wasn't an option. All three members of Bad Luck shared the same dressing room, and watching Nakano and Fujisaki change clothes held absolutely no interest to him what-so-ever. In fact the mere thought of possibly seeing them naked made him shudder. Of course, seeing a hot, sweaty and flushed Shuichi naked was an entirely different matter!

He pushed that disturbing – in a nice way! – thought away, leaning back against the wall, hands delving deeper into the pockets of his coat. This was their third, and last, night in Osaka. Tomorrow the tour would be moving onto Kyoto, the third week would be taking in the cities of Nagoya and Yokohama, before culminating in Tokyo itself. By that time everyone would no doubt be exhausted.

Despite a concert every evening, he and Shuichi had actually managed to spend a reasonable amount of time together so far, for which he was very glad. After their visit to the aquarium, the following day they had roamed the city, going up to the Floating Garden Observatory, even though it was daylight and the best view was supposed to be at night. It was still quite spectacular.

As well as that they did a number of other more mundane things such as shopping, Shuichi on the prowl for further interesting ideas for his stage costumes. Yuki thought he looked quite sexy enough as it was. In fact almost too sexy, judging from some of the hot looks he had seen the concert goers give the singer, not to mention the overheard remarks. It had almost been enough for him to either want to punch the speakers to shut them up, or jump on stage and wrap Shuichi in his long coat to hide him completely from the view of any others. Totally irrational thoughts both of them, and fortunately he did not act upon either, but that didn't mean that he hadn't wanted to.

However, he managed to restrain himself from letting any of this show to Shuichi during their shopping spree and when the young man came out of the change rooms in clinging lycra or mesh shirts, he forced a grudging, 'That looks okay,' through his teeth, rather than demanding he purchase a ski suit instead.

As the afternoon had slipped away, they had finished that day off with a trip on the Santa Marie, the old sailing ship that cruised the bay. He had thought at first that Shuichi intended to drag him through the aquarium again, to which he was determined to refuse, as they arrived at the same area but all was well as they made their way instead towards the berthed ship. Shuichi happily took photos of the ship before they boarded, cajoling Yuki to smile for the snaps. He naturally refused.

However he did find the ship rather interesting, despite everything. It was his first time up close to such a ship and it immediately fired his imagination. He made mental notes of many things that he intended to jot down later that night as he was sure he could blend it into an upcoming book. It might not be his next one, but some where down the track he was sure these observations would come in handy.

Shuichi had gushed about the ship, rushing from place to place, opening doors, looking at everything, and more than once nearly tripping over something on deck because he was so intent on gazing up at the masts and rigging. Yuki had visions of having to rush his exuberant partner to the hospital just before his concert to get stitches or something. He'd look pretty funny going on stage in a cast!

Although he didn't quite express his appreciation of the ship the way Shuichi did, as they stood on the upper deck even he had to admit that it was a little romantic as they sailed along the bay as the sun set.

There was one problem though in all this.

He had found out the hard way, much to his surprise and horror, that he and sailing were not compatible. Or at least not sailing in this type of ship, for his stomach had rebelled almost immediately upon setting foot on board.

He had been caught completely off-guard at the first flush of heat to his face and the sudden back flip his stomach performed. Swallowing manfully against the surge of bile that rushed up his throat, he clamped his lips together tightly and tried to push back the urge to throw up ignominiously all over the polished decking. Fortunately he'd had nothing to eat up to that point, at least not since breakfast, so there was little in his stomach to result in much mess but that still didn't stop his stomach from attempting to purge itself countless times.

Shuichi had taken one look at his face and just stared, eye wide, mouth hanging open.

"What?" he had managed to garble out. One word was all he was able to manage for he feared if he kept his mouth open for too long he would vomit on the spot.

"Are you all right?" Shuichi peered up at him in concern. "You've gone a sort of….green colour."

"No. I. Am. Not. All. Right." he said in short clipped tones and fled to the bathroom on board.

This was not working out the way he had thought his afternoon with Shuichi would go.

To make matters worse, they were still accompanied by Nakano and Fujisaki whom he was beginning to think of as irritating and a rather bizarre choice of chaperones, and he hated the fact that they were witness to his moment of weakness.

"So what's the peanut gallery doing?" he growled weakly from where he hung over the railing above decks with Shuichi solicitously hovering by his side.

"They're just over there," Shuichi replied, looking past his shoulder.

Yuki turned his head to follow his gaze and saw Hiro and Suguru talking quietly where they sat on a bench, the wind whipping their hair around their faces.

He scowled. They obviously weren't bothered by motion sickness. His stomach gave another lurch and he clamped his teeth tightly together again. His jaw was beginning to ache with the effort of trying to prevent this instinctive reaction. And he had thought his ulcer gave him plenty of grief. That was a walk in the park compared to how wretched he felt at this moment.

"I'm sorry," Shuichi said hurriedly, his words almost tripping over themselves. Yuki could hear the distress in his voice. "I had no idea you got sea sick or I'd never have suggested coming!"

"How could you have known when even I didn't?" Yuki said bluntly. It was completely true. He had never actually got on a large boat before so he'd had no idea he would react like this. Great way to find out!

"But this was supposed to be a way for you to relax!" Shuichi was almost crying in his despair which only irritated Yuki further. He didn't want to feel like it was his fault for upsetting Shuichi simply because he was the one sick.

"Look, it's no-one's fault," He tried to soothe his partner, reaching out and pulling Shuichi closer so the young man's head rested against his chest. "Neither of us knew this would happen. At least we do know now so we can avoid it in future. Hell, I can just take some medication beforehand next time."

"But I've made you sick!" Shuichi repeated, pulling away once more although Yuki was glad he hadn't seemed to have minded the loose hug.

"You're going to make me sicker if you keep whining!" he half snapped, his discomfort making him short-tempered.

Shuichi's mouth closed with an audible smack, obviously biting back whatever further lamentations he was going to make, and he took a further step backwards, widening the distance between himself and Yuki.

Damn it! Yuki thought. He hadn't been trying to push Shuichi away!

He took a deep breath, both physically and mentally. "I'll be fine once we land and that will be soon. I feel much better up here in the fresh air than cooped up downstairs. That's probably what did it. So none of this is your fault at all and I don't want you saying otherwise. Got it?"

Shuichi looked like he wanted to argue but Yuki repeated, "Got it?" in a steely voice and finally he nodded reluctant agreement and muttered, "Okay."

"Good. Look," and Yuki pointed away from the vessel. "There's the berth so we'll be off soon."

Yuki shifted his shoulders under his coat at remembrance of that afternoon. It really had been rather wretched and a rotten way to end the day. He'd been unable to eat any dinner that evening although he had immediately begun to feel better as soon as he left the boat, even though his legs had felt almost rubbery and it took a little time before he felt that the ground wasn't rocking under his feet.

As soon as he had returned to the hotel he laid down on his bed and fell asleep, not to awaken until a number of hours later to realise he had missed Shuichi's concert. He had felt angry at himself for doing so, although he probably would have found the bass beat thumping up through the soles of his feet and bouncing through his innards unbearable at that time.

Still, he had intended to see Shuichi each night during his time with him. The whole point of him being here was to try and spend as much time as possible with him and as the concerts were a big part of Shuichi's life he had planned to make certain he would be there for each of them. At least then he could ask intelligent questions about them to generate conversation between the two of them.

So the fact that he had missed this night's annoyed him greatly and he had quietly cursed the boat trip.

Shuichi had returned not much later after his had awoken, quietly entering the room and looking surprised to see him up. When Yuki had tried speaking to him he had replied in a soft voice, urging him to go back to sleep, treating him as though he were a sick invalid or some such. He tried to tell Shuichi that he felt fine now but the singer had simply smiled indulgingly as though he were a child, and completed his ablutions quickly and quietly, before climbing into bed and flicking the lights off and plunging the room into darkness to emphasis the point that it was time to sleep. He'd had little choice then but to follow suit for he sensed that if he tried to push the conversation it might only degenerate into an argument and he couldn't have faced that.

So that had been their disastrous second day together.

Today, their third, they had managed to spend only a short time together as there was far more for everyone connected to the tour to do to ensure the move to Kyoto the following day went smoothly. The meetings had begun early in the morning and were still running well into the afternoon, with a number of interviews and photo shoots occurring also.

Yuki had decided to hang around at the concert venue rather than sitting aimlessly at the hotel. He had awoken at the same time as Shuichi this day and so had watched as the singer has bustled around getting ready and they had managed to share a quick breakfast together.

Shuichi had appeared quite normal which had relieved Yuki. He didn't know if the younger man would have still been feeling upset about the way yesterday's excursion had ended or if perhaps he might have been upset that Yuki didn't get to the concert. Yuki wasn't quite certain if he didn't feel a little disgruntled that Shuichi didn't appear to have missed his presence at the concert last night.

When Shuichi had explained that he might not be able to get time off today Yuki had quickly asked to accompany him. Shuichi had at first looked surprised but then had smiled brightly.

"Of course you can come if you want!" he had said with enthusiasm. "But what are you going to do while you're waiting?"

Yuki had shrugged, standing and picking up his jacket and small briefcase. "I've got some notes to write up," he had said. "so I've got enough to keep me busy."

"Okay," Shuichi said, following him to the door. "I just don't want you to be bored."

"I'll be fine," Yuki assured him as they descended to the lobby and strode out to the waiting car.

He had been glad of his snap decision. At least if he was close by there was the chance that he would still be able to catch Shuichi in between meetings which is exactly what they had done. Shuichi would exit the meeting room at a run, smiling when he spotted Yuki still sitting calmly on the couch nearby, notebook on his knee, pen in hand.

"Are you up for another coffee?" he would ask brightly to which Yuki would respond as he stood, "Always,"

They had sat together over their coffee, sometimes with cake to supplement the beverage, and just talk. Sometimes it was discussing what was to come with the tour, sometimes about their more recent sightseeing, sometimes the distant past of their time together.

They even found themselves reminiscing about their time in Quebec of all things. Shuichi spent some time asking rather pointed questions about Yuki's search for him; what had happened, who had helped him, and so on. He had been surprised, and not a little uncomfortable in responding to these queries. He had never liked talking about himself, or his feelings, and some of what Shuichi was questioning churned up emotions that he didn't enjoy having come to the fore once again and made him more than a little embarrassed and self-conscious.

He began to wonder what had sparked Shuichi's sudden interest in this aspect of the past. They really hadn't spoken about that time since their return to Japan and it seemed so unexpected for Shuichi to be raising it now.

Yuki fully accepted that North America was a part of Shuichi's past and memories but he still didn't like hearing about that time. It was a time in Shuichi's life that he didn't really know about or understand for he hadn't shared it with him. It made him feel like a stranger. Still he tried not to let Shuichi know this as he listened to the other speak of places and people that he didn't know, laughing over memories, sounding a little melancholy when speaking of seeming friends, smiling gently over happy thoughts. It was disturbing to feel like an outsider, only able to listen to this part of Shuichi's life and having no real understanding of it. It was still more than disturbing every time Shuichi mentioned his time with Annette, and Yuki couldn't prevent the flare of jealousy each time her name was brought up. But he realised it was not his place to say anything. It was in the past and there was nothing he could do to change it, so he had better learn to accept and live with that aspect of Shuichi's past.

Shuichi suddenly broke off mid-sentence as he saw the time on the clock in the cafeteria and had rushed off to get ready for his concert, with a smile and wave to Yuki and a demand for him to remain and see the show.

Yuki had acknowledged him and allowed himself to be escorted to the seat set up at the side of the stage. He didn't see any need to be out in the crowd again, he could remain behind the scenes and see and hear just as well. Why should he have to fight the milling masses and put up with screams of adulation in his ears when he didn't have to? Besides, he believed he had a much better view of Shuichi from this close vantage point than from out in the stands.

Shuichi had finally been able to leave the stage after standing ovations, numerous encores and pandering to pleading, screaming fans. Yuki was just glad when the last of them had been ushered out, even a little forcefully, so Shuichi could finally be with him.

Now he waited once more for Shuichi to join him.

"Sorry," a breathless voice uttered at his elbow.

He glanced down at Shuichi's flushed face, cheeks red from being scrubbed to remove the last of the stage make-up, hair damp and mussed from being dried quickly with a towel no doubt. He found he was liking the orange streaks in the hair now, they sort of grew on you. He noticed that there was a small dark smudge around one eye where Shuichi obviously hadn't fully managed to wipe away the eyeliner and his hand itched to reach out and remove it but he held himself back. It wasn't like it was really noticeable and he didn't want Shuichi to think that he was taking liberties again. Still he was hard pressed not to touch the face before him. It was still a beautiful face.

And he still found the look Shuichi wore after a concert very, very cute – and very alluring.

"No problem," he finally managed to reply. He pushed away from the wall and began to walk towards the exit, Shuichi falling into step beside him.

"Are you very tired?" Shuichi suddenly asked.

Yuki glanced down at him, one eyebrow rising. "Not really," he replied honestly, wondering at Shuichi's question.

"Then are you okay if we make a stop on the way home?"

Yuki shrugged. "I suppose,"

"Good," Shuichi said with a smile and firm nod as though he had been hoping the answer would be in the positive. Yuki was seriously beginning to wonder just what the singer was up to.

They slid into the waiting car, unobtrusively parked by a side door in the hope of avoiding the die-hard fans still lurking in the darkness around the venue in the hope of catching a glimpse of their idols. They managed to make a clean get-away and sped off into the late night.

Yuki couldn't really tell where they were going as they drove the dark streets. In the dark it was hard to tell what direction they were taking and he wasn't that familiar with Osaka to be able to identify any clear landmarks and get his bearings. He did realise that they obviously weren't heading for the hotel as it was taking much longer than it had previously. He also noted that Shuichi hadn't given any directions to the driver since they had entered the vehicle so he had obviously primed the chauffeur beforehand. That made him even more curious. Just where on earth was Shuichi taking them?

Finally the vehicle slowed to a stop, the engine ceasing.

"Here we are," Shuichi said, turning to him with a smile as he opened his door. "Come on."

Yuki exited also and looked around, taking note of the surroundings. Now he was even more curious about what Shuichi was up to because they were back at the aquarium once more. His stomach rumbled in fear. Shuichi didn't intend to subject him to that boat again, did he?!

"This way,"

Yuki turned to see Shuichi heading away, thankfully, from the route to the waterfront so he followed, quickly catching up with him with his longer stride.

It was then that he saw there was another person in the shadows ahead of them. He slowed his steps a little, wary, and wondering if they were about to be the subject of a mugging but Shuichi simply raised a hand and waved which the person returned. Obviously Shuichi knew them, although they were not anyone that Yuki could remember seeing associated with the tour.

"Is everything still okay?" Shuichi questioned the man as they drew near.

He nodded with a smile to them both. "Not a problem. This way."

Shuichi threw a reassuring smile in Yuki's direction as he followed the man up some steps and along a walk way.

"Just wait here a moment whilst I get it started." The man said to them before disappearing into the darkness again.

He and Shuichi were alone for only a moment when Yuki heard the sound of motors, loud in the silence. Before he could ask Shuichi about it suddenly a multitude of lights turned on all around him, blinding him for a moment so he had to blink rapidly and turn his head away from the onslaught.

He squinted through the brightness and saw the walkway before him all lit up and leading to a sight that stunned him. Before him was a ferris wheel, slowly beginning to rotate, the carriages swinging by like tiny pendulums. He knew this ferris wheel had been around here. It was a little hard to miss with the size of it as it stood out against the Osaka skyline, the Tempozan Giant Ferris Wheel He remembered seeing it from the boat yesterday as well. However, he had only seen it during the day and he was sure that it didn't usually operate this late at night.

He looked across at Shuichi who was smiling, a little smugly it seemed, by his side.

"Come on," Shuichi said, motioning with his head and making his way to the carriages along the marked aisle. The man who had met them was already waiting there.

Yuki followed and ducked to enter into the swinging carriage after Shuichi as the door was closed behind them by the attendant. He settled back, sitting opposite Shuichi as they began to rise into the night sky.

Shuichi was still ginning at him like it had been permanently tattooed on. "I arranged this especially just for us." he said, finally satisfying Yuki's curiousity. "They agreed to run it outside of normal operating hours and we can have it for as long as we like. Of course, I am paying a premium for this but," he shrugged. "I thought it was worth it."

Yuki leant back a little further and crossed his legs. A pity he couldn't smoke. "So what made you do this?" he asked.

Shuichi didn't answer immediately, instead turned his head to look out the side window at the twinkling lights extending to the darkened horizon. "I…..wanted to try and do something nice for you. I mean after yesterday when you were so sick on the boat I felt bad about that so I wanted to make it up to you."

"I told you that wasn't your fault."

Shuichi shrugged a little as he faced him again. "I know, but I still felt bad." A look of horror suddenly crossed his face. "You don't suffer from vertigo, do you?!"

Yuki rolled his eyes. "No. I don't. So chill out."

"Oh," Shuichi breathed with relief. "That's good."

Yuki looked out his window, admiring the way the lights flickered on the water below.

"So, do you like it?"

He turned at Shuichi's question. "What? This little jaunt?"

"Well, yeah. What else do you think I'd be talking about?!" Shuichi responded a little indignantly.

Yuki turned to the window. "Yeah. It's fine."

"Geez, Yuki! Can't you sound a little more enthused about things?" Shuichi sounded completely exasperated. "Sometimes I don't know why I bother!" Yuki turned to see him cross his arms with a humph, slumping in his corner of the car.

He searched his mind for something to say to take that pout away from Shuichi's face, although he did find it rather cute. However the only thing he kept finding himself thinking was that he wanted to lean over and kiss it away but he didn't feel it was the right time to do that.

Instead he said, "This was a good idea."

He fumbled a little more, trying to put some feeling behind his words although he had always been better at showing his feelings than speaking them, and considering he had spent most of his adult life as an emotional eunuch, that wasn't saying much. "I hadn't expected you to do something like this. Thanks."

Shuichi just turned his head to look at him, still maintaining the same disgruntled posture, obviously not fully convinced of Yuki's sincerity.

"It's a great view. And it's all just for us. I doubt many people could boast of being able to do this. So you've done something really special." He struggled to find a way to finish things off. "It's nice." He finally said rather lamely.

He saw Shuichi roll his eyes but at least his arms uncrossed and he sat in a more natural pose.

"You never could sound like you really meant what you said, except for sometimes. I had thought you were beginning to get better at doing so but you seemed to have relapsed." Shuichi stated.

"I'm out of practice," Yuki replied. "No-one to practice on." He added, and then wondered if he should have said that.

"Well, you're going to have to practice more." Shuichi said firmly. "That can be your homework, so from now on you have to express yourself properly and say how you really feel. None of this half-assed way that you normally do. It's really annoying you know."

"I don't generally have to say that sort of stuff to people." Yuki defended himself.

"Then you have to practice every time you're with me." Shuichi stated, frowning at him. "I don't want to hear any of your usual crap, right?"

"I don't speak crap!"

"You do when it's not really what you're feeling!"

Yuki wisely shut up then. Shuichi did have a point after all and it wasn't going to get him anywhere if they continued arguing over such a stupid thing.

"Fine," he finally said, slouching in his seat.

"Don't sulk," Shuichi said.

"I'm not,"

"Yes, you are!"

Yuki glared at the man opposite him, meeting a matching glare and they remained like that in silence for a moment. Then Shuichi suddenly crossed his eyes and stuck his tongue out at him. The sudden change in facial expression surprised him so much that he let out an involuntary guffaw.

"See, that's more like it," Shuichi smirked at him as the mood lightened once more. "You need to go with the flow."

By this time they had reached the zenith of their circular trip.

"Oh, wow!" Shuichi pressed his face up against the glass, looking out into the night sky.

The ferris wheel began to slow, before stopping completely and they hung suspended, swaying slightly, seeming at the top of the world. They were then plunged into darkness and Yuki wondered if something had gone wrong and they would be stranded here mid-air.

"Don't worry," he heard Shuichi say in the darkness. He could begin to make out the other's features near him as his eyes became accustomed to the dim lighting from the illumination coming from other buildings around them. "The attendant said that he would do this so we would have a good chance to look around." He saw the flash of white as Shuichi smiled. "He said it's normally something you would do for dating couples but he didn't think we would mind."

"I don't mind," Yuki assured him, turning to look out the back window as well. It certainly was a good view.

"Yuki,"

"Yeah," he replied absently, still looking outside.

"Have you really liked being here the past few days?"

He turned around in surprise, wondering why Shuichi was asking him.

"'Course I have!" he replied firmly, hoping to dispel any doubts the other had. "Why didn't you think I would have?"

"We haven't really been able to spend much time together, with the meeting and concerts and all. Not to mention the places I've dragged you out to haven't really turned out that great."

"They've been okay," he replied. "Except for the boat." he replied honestly.

"Yeah, that was a bit of a downer, wasn't it? I really had no idea you were going to get sick."

"Like I said, neither did I. It's not like I've ever spent a lot of time on the water before now so I hadn't realised either. Live and learn."

"I'm glad you're okay with this."

"You've done good here," Yuki complimented him. "I honestly do like it." he managed to say.

Shuichi chuckled. "You make that sound like you're saying it under duress."

"I'm not," he hurried to assure him, cursing his own inability to say what he truly meant.

"I know. I'm just teasing."

Yuki growled at him which just made Shuichi laugh again.

"So you will still be coming with us to Kyoto?" Shuichi asked.

"Yeah, I can do that."

"I'm glad."

They sat in silence for a moment, wrapped in darkness, rocking slightly with the wind. It was a comfortable silence, a silence that could only be found between two people who were in tune with each other. It was the first time that Yuki truly felt that between them since their new beginnings.

"Yuki?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm glad you came," Shuichi said softly.

Yuki looked over at him, seeing the small smile on his face.

"I'm glad we could spend this time together again. It's been good." Shuichi continued.

"Me too." he replied, feeling as though his throat was closing up with those heartfelt words.

"I still don't know really where we are going," Shuichi then said, still in an almost whisper. "But I'm glad to have been able to spend this time together with you."

Yuki didn't know whether to be worried that Shuichi wasn't indicating a total commitment to getting back together, or pleased that he seemed so happy to have spent time with him. The conflict of these emotions made his stomach ache.

"You've done so much for me," Shuichi continued. "I guess I'm still only just realising how much the more I talk with you. I'll never be able to thank you for all that. You really did give me back my life."

He turned to the window, raising a hand to trace random patterns on the glass. "I still have trouble coming to terms with some things. I still find a lot of stuff confusing, trying to reconcile my time in North America and here. I feel that I know my past and present, even though some things are almost contradictory at times, but my future? I'm not sure what that is or where it's going. They say the future is shaped by your past and present but if that's the case all I can say is that my future looks to be pretty murky."

"You'll be okay," Yuki put in quietly, hoping to provide some reassurance although he wasn't even sure if Shuichi was seeking that from him.

"I know I will be," Shuichi agreed. "I know I'll be fine no matter what. But it's that uncertainty."

"Everyone's future is uncertain," Yuki said. "That's the nature of it being the future. You can't predict it or everything would become pretty damn boring. We all have to just see where it goes and what comes of it."

"Even you?" Shuichi asked with a small smile for him.

"Even me."

"I thought you had everything planned out. You're already famous and settled with everything. Surely you don't have to worry about the future any more?"

"There are some things that I can't control. Important things." he grudgingly admitted.

"Guess everyone is the same then," Shuichi said, returning to the window.

Yuki didn't know what else to say.

"Anyway," Shuichi's voice was a little brighter when he spoke once more. "I'm still really glad you're here and I've been having a lot of fun. We are going to still be able to see each other when I get back to Tokyo, right?"

"Of course," Yuki hurriedly replied, feeling his whole body tingle at Shuichi's outright request to continue seeing him.

"Good! There's heaps more I want to talk to you about so you had better plan on lots of late nights!"

"I might even cook sometimes," Yuki said.

"Oh, goody! I'll put in my orders before I'm coming round!"

"What am I?" Yuki complained. "A fast-food outlet?"

"Nah, your cooking is way better than that!"

"You'd better eat every damn thing on your plate in that case!"

"Don't I always?" Shuichi declared.

"Just make certain you do!"

They were suddenly both startled by resounding metallic clunks and the carriage swayed violently for a moment.

"Whoa!" Shuichi said, grabbing for his seat so as not to be pitched forward. "I guess we're on the move again."

"Looks that way," Yuki agreed, as they began to move once more although the lights hadn't come back on yet.

He met Shuichi's gaze for a moment and saw the other smile at him.

"It's been a great night, Yuki. Thanks."

Yuki struggled to try and find words to reciprocate, mindful of what Shuichi had said to him just earlier about expressing himself with more feeling. He tried, he honestly did, but he just couldn't think of any to actually convey everything he was feeling to Shuichi in a way that wouldn't come out sounding awkward or downright creepy.

Shuichi sitting opposite him was obviously expecting him to say something, but was beginning to look a little puzzled at his delay.

He scrubbed his hands through his hair in frustration.

"Oh, fuck it!" he finally snapped.

He raised one hand, reaching across the distance separating them to slide the palm of it across Shuichi's smooth cheek. He saw Shuichi's eyes widen but he didn't pull away as Yuki leant forward.

Yuki pressed his lips against Shuichi's forehead, letting them linger there for a moment against the soft skin, let his thumb lightly caress the cheek it rested on, feeling the hair tickle his nose a little.

"Thank you," he whispered into the hair, feeling the warmth of the body so near to his.

He leant back, letting his hand fall away from Shuichi's face, wondering if once again he had over stepped the boundaries and just ruined everything. But it was all he could do, the only way to express even a portion of what he was truly feeling.

As he drew his hand back towards his own side of the carriage Shuichi suddenly reached up and grasped it, holding it tightly. Yuki felt his fingers wrapping around his, halting his withdrawal.

He met Shuichi's gaze, seeing a soft smile spread over the other's face as he leant forward so his elbows rested comfortably on his knees. After a moment Yuki followed suit, mirroring the pose so their hands remained locked before them, joining them across that small distance that separated them still.


	17. Chapter 17

**Title**: Unlocking My Love

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings:** some mild bad language

Author's Note: Thank you to all you readers for being so patient. Sorry it's taking so long between updates, but I really can't promise things will get much better. However, this story won't be completely abandoned, even though it has slowed down somewhat.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, they belong to the creator of 'Gravitation'.

Chapter 17

"I don't care! We are going to have some time off!" Shuichi stated belligerently, chin thrust forward.

"You know we are going to be busy," K was saying. "There's a lot to do so we can't guarantee anything."

"We are still having some time off." Shuichi repeated. "Yuki leaves in a couple of days and I intend to spend every moment I can with him. It's not like we don't know what has to happen and if it's something really important then we'll make certain we're here but you can handle the rest."

K sighed heavily. "Just what is the big deal? You'll see him again when we get back to Tokyo. It's not that far away."

"I want to be with him now!"

"But, Shindou," Sakano wailed, wringing his hands. "There's so much work to do! What will the President say?"

"Stuff what Tohma says!" Shuichi said forcefully, which immediately sent Sakano into a dead faint.

K gazed down at his prone colleague and sighed again. "Fine then," he said, raising his hands in defeat. "We'll keep the meetings to a minimum and you can have your free time"

Shuichi was suddenly all smiles. "Thanks, K!" and he bounced out of the room.

K gazed after him and then smiled, a little wickedly. So, Shuichi, it looks like you're starting to get into Yuki now. He chuckled. Not before time. He had been beginning to think that he was going to have to hog-tie the two of them and lock them in a room together to have them talk. Fortunately they took matters into their own hands and did something about it.

He knelt down beside Sakano and slapped his face lightly a couple of times until he slowly opened his eyes, still looking a little woozy.

"Has he gone?" Sakano asked in a weak voice.

"Yep," K answered, standing and reaching down a hand to assist his friend up. "Went out of here like he was walking on air."

K laughed as he hoisted Sakano to his feet. "Finally it looks like we're getting somewhere!" he said, clapping his hands together sharply. "I haven't seen Shuichi that fired up about anything for a while, and certainly not over Yuki till now. It's good to see at last!"

"Yes, it is good news that things appear to be going so well between the two of them but we all know that this does not necessarily bode well." Sakano pointed out. "They have always had a rather…volatile relationship, and unpredictable to say the least."

"Yeah, yeah," K waved his concerns aside. "Still they're talking again, and spending time together. Not to mention sharing a room!" The leer he shot Sakano could only to be said to be lecherous and Sakano blushed.

"Think they're doing the 'naughty, naughty' yet?" K whispered as he sidled up to Sakano, nudging him with his elbow, smirking.

Sakano's face went an even brighter red and K could have sworn he saw steam issuing from under his collar. Sakano was just so damn cute at these times. He couldn't help but tease him!

"That….that is actually none of our business," Sakano managed to find his voice, running a finger around his collar as though he suddenly found his tie far too tight, and said this firmly, turning to face K. "What they do in private is nothing to do with us."

"But don't you want to know?"

"NO!" Sakano slapped his hands over his ears and squeezed his eyes shut, intending to block out anything else K may say to him. He cracked an eye open to see that K was just standing looking at him and slowly took his hands from his ears. "You haven't placed some sort of bugs in their room, have you?!" he suddenly asked, horrified that K would have invaded the singer's privacy and knowing that is exactly the kind of thing that the mad manager would do!

"Don't worry," K sighed again, looking a little despondent. "They've been perfect gentlemen with each other."

Sakano swayed on his feet for a moment, undecided whether to faint again or not. K obviously had bugged Shindou's room! Suddenly another thought struck him. What if he's bugged all the rooms – including his!

This time he did faint, falling to the floor with the shock and it wasn't until he felt the light slaps on his cheek once more that he opened his eyes to see K looming over him, blonde hair trailing over one shoulder.

"You know, Sakano, you're gonna hurt yourself badly one of these days if you don't break this habit. It's all very cute and everything but it must be hell on your bones." K stated, looking down at his friend with his head titled to one side as though examining a frantically wriggling specimen under a microscope.

Sakano didn't object as his friend pulled him to his feet once more. He took a deep breath and tried to calm his still racing heart. Once he felt he'd gained a modicum of equilibrium he turned to K and tried to place a stern look on his face.

"I want you to remove what ever devices you have placed in Shindou's room," he said firmly, then amended the demand. "Any devices you have placed in anyone's room." Hopefully there were none other than in Shindou's but he wanted to try and cover all bases if he could. K was too devious, if you didn't pin him down exactly to what you wanted him to do he always seemed to find a way around it.

"Aw, Sakano, why do you want to do that? Look, if anything heats up between them I'll even let you listen." K wheedled.

"No, no, no! I don't want to!" Sakano shook his head violently then pointed an accusing finger directly at K. "You will remove them all! Now!"

K pouted. "Okay, I'll take the listening devices out." he said very reluctantly.

Sakano was about to agree when he paused. He didn't like how K had only specified 'listening devices'. Did that mean that he had other types also? Had he set up a miniature camera to spy on Shindou? Or anyone else?

He felt his face begin to burn with embarrassment. Was K able to watch everything that went on in all their rooms? The bedroom? The bathroom? His whole body felt like it was on fire now, his clothing far too restrictive and his necktie feeling like it was about to strangle him. Had K seen what he had been doing in the shower lately? Had he been watching whilst he had……

It was all too much for Sakano to handle as his brain completely overloaded with the racing images. He threw himself at the taller man, grabbing K around the collar and shaking him violently so his long hair whipped back and forth as his head flopped around like a doll's.

"You will remove everything you have put in the rooms! Everything, you hear!" He twisted his hands in the shirt material, tightening his grip. "Listening devices, cameras, pressure plates, spy holes, whatever you have installed you will remove every last one of them from every single room! And you will not do this again for the rest of this tour!"

His voice had risen to a shout by the end of the tirade and he stopped the shaking on the final word but did not release his unyielding grip so there was no escape for K.

K's eyes spun giddily as he tried to regain his internal balance after this harsh treatment. "Sure," he managed to mumble. Sakano was just so violent at times. "I'll do it."

"Everything!" Sakano stressed again with another smaller shake.

"Promise, I swear," K said, still feeling like the room was spinning a little.

Sakano released him then, taking him at his word. "Fine then." He stepped backwards and straightened his clothing, smoothing his ruffled hair down and pushing his glasses back up his nose. "You had better get on to it now whilst Shindou is occupied elsewhere." He threw a steely glance at K. "I expect it all to be done by the end of today, understood?"

"Yes, sir," K saluted and not quite mockingly. He hid the smile he was tempted to make. Sakano could be full of surprises sometimes. He sometimes thought he would never fully plumb the depths of his generally mild-mannered colleague.

K turned and made his way to the door, Sakano falling into step by his side.

"By the way, that was great acting back there," he said, slapping his friend on the back and making Sakano stumble a little. "Fainting like that was just the right touch to make Shuichi think we were really serious in trying to stop him having time with Yuki."

Sakano straightened up, tugging the bottom of his jacket down again to smooth its tailored lines and then pushed his glasses up his nose once more as he opened the door.

"It wasn't acting." he said as he exited. "I just dread to think what the President is going to say about all this."

-oOo-

Yuki leant back in the chair, letting his head drop backwards, eyes staring at the ceiling, watching the lazy curl of smoke winding its way upwards from the cigarette dangling from his lips.

He lifted his arms and laced his fingers together, pushing them to a full stretch. He winced a little as one shoulder popped, dropped his arms, then rolled both shoulders, before shaking his hands hard to ease the stiffness at the wrist.

The cell phone resting on the table before him suddenly flashed into life, startling him a little. He looked at it as it juddered along the smooth top. He probably should have taken it off vibrate as he continued to watch it in semi-amazement as it seemed to move as though it had a life of its own.

He finally reached out and picked it up, rescuing it before it decided to leap off the edge of the desk to plunge to its demise to the floor. He glanced at the screen, noting the number flashing there and sighed as he flipped it open, removing the cigarette from between his lips before answering.

"What do you want, Mizuki?" he growled.

"And a good morning to you also, Yuki," Mizuki's cheerful voice carried down the line, completely unfazed by his gruff greeting.

"What do you want?" he repeated again.

"Oh, nothing in particular," she answered. "I just wanted to see how you are doing."

"Yeah, right," he responded, stubbing out the now burnt down cigarette. "Try again."

"Oh, come now, Yuki. I truly did just want to know how you were going. It's been a long time since you actually had had a holiday."

"What are you talking about? I was away for more than six months earlier!" he snapped through gritted teeth. And thanks the fuck for reminding me of that time, he snarled internally.

"That was hardly a holiday," Mizuki responded quietly, cutting through his anger easily. "That is why I was so glad you chose to take this time away. You needed it. So did Shuichi."

"Humph," was all his reply was. It wasn't something he wanted to talk about it but he knew that Mizuki was being completely sincere.

"So," Now her voice returned to her perpetual chirpy state and he rolled his eyes at the tone. "Back to my question: How are you doing?"

"I'm fine," he answered succinctly, not elaborating.

"And so when do you anticipate you will be back?" she prodded. He could hear a faint tapping in the background and could picture her sitting at her desk, pen in hand and tapping on the edge of the desk. It was a habit of hers that he had seen since the first day they began working together although she had denied she did it when he had once pointed it out to her. He had also learnt over the years that she only did this when she was thinking about something very important, and usually that had nothing to do with what she was actually saying.

So with that clue Yuki's eyes narrowed a little. "Why do you want to know?" he asked suspiciously.

"Oh, no reason," was Mizuki's hurried response.

"Uh, huh," Yeah, right, he thought to himself, frowning.

He heard her sigh through the phone. "Okay," she said, obviously deciding to come clean. "I'm truly sorry to bother you like this, Yuki, but I've got to at least pass on the messages to you. What you do with it after that is up to you."

Well, she was trying to give him fair warning that she knew he probably wasn't going to like it. Great, now what?

"What is it?" he grated out. Better to get this over and done with.

"Well, the publishers want to know if you're currently working on anything. They're strongly hinting that it is high time that you started on your next book due to the delay of the previous one and such, and so they are expecting to see some progress."

"You can tell them they can kiss…."

"I know, I know," Mizuki interrupted him before he completed his less than complimentary response. "And I've already told them as much. Although not quite in the same words as you would. Anyway, I know I can hold them off for a while but even I have to admit that I was wondering if you are working on anything yet."

Yuki glanced down at the bound book before him that he had just finished writing in. One hand reached out to gently touch the cover. "No, I'm not working on anything. So tell them to piss off."

"Fine, I'll cover for you."

Yuki knew she would too. She had never let him down.

"But," she continued. "do you at least have any ideas for your next book?"

"Yeah, I've made some notes." he admitted.

"Okay, that's good enough. Send me through a bit of a synopsis and I'll throw them that bone. That should keep them happy for a time."

"Fine. Then goodbye," Yuki moved to disconnect the call.

"Ah, there's one more thing," Mizuki said quickly before he could hang up.

"What?" He couldn't hide the irritation he was feeling at this conversation. He had wanted to get right away from work and everything that went with it and just be able to concentrate on Shuichi for these few days. He didn't want to have to be dealing with this now.

"You've still been getting a lot of offers to do promotional events in the USA. You've developed quite a large following over there, and those few photos taken at your impromptu book signing a few months back has really fanned the flames. They are offering quite lucrative deals and I really think you should at least consider some of them. It would do wonders for your career."

"I told you I'm not interested in going back there!" Absolutely not. He didn't want to go back there with all the memories associated with it. It had been bad enough when it had just been in relation to his own past experience in New York. Heading back there now after everything that had happened with Shuichi was not something he was ready to deal with. Not to mention that he had absolutely no intention what-so-ever in leaving Shuichi at this stage!

"Yuki, I…" Mizuki began.

"This conversation is ended!" He cut her off curtly.

"Okay," she said with a sigh. "Have fun then and sorry to bother you. I'll see you in a few days?"

"Yeah," He knew Mizuki really wasn't to blame for the anger he was feeling. She was only doing her job and trying to look out for him.

"I'll talk to you when you get back then. Say hi to Shuichi for me, will you? Tell him I've got a ticket to see his show in Tokyo and can't wait!"

Yuki snorted. "Tell him yourself." He still couldn't come to grips with the fact that his normally so level-headed editor turned into a raving fangirl where Bad Luck was concerned. He found it quite bizarre even to this day.

"You're so heartless!" Mizuki said, although he could detect the laughter in her voice. "See you then!" and she hung up.

He set the phone down and his gaze returned to the book before him. He hadn't lied to Mizuki when he had said that he wasn't working on a new book for publishing. What he was spending the hours writing at present was something far, far more personal, and nothing to do with his work. Which is why he was handwriting this and not using his beloved laptop. The words he were setting down were far too important to trust to the cold, calculating and devoid-of-heart modern technology. The only way to do this justice was to painstakingly scribe every word, etching it onto the paper, watching each page slowly filling as he bared his soul.

He stood and picked it up, striding over to his case tucked in the wardrobe. Kneeling, he opened it, pushing clothing to one side until he reached the bottom and withdraw the slim case. Opening it, he dropped the book inside, snapping the lid shut before flicking the tumblers to securely lock it. The last thing he wanted was for anyone to find it, especially Shuichi.

"Hey, Yuki!" The door slammed opened as Shuichi burst in almost as though his thoughts had summoned him there. "Are you ready?"

Yuki stood and pushed his case back into the bottom of the closet, shutting the doors before turning. "Yeah," he answered walking forward and grabbing his coat along the way.

"Then come on! The car's waiting downstairs," and Shuichi turned on his heel and left him to close the door behind them as he followed.

-oOo-

Shuichi yawned widely. "I'm beat," he said tiredly, falling face first onto his bed.

Yuki looked across at him, admiring the pert backside outlined in the black pants stretched tight across that region. Nice view, he thought, licking his suddenly dry lips.

He deliberately turned away from temptation and spoke. "Hurry up and have a shower and get to bed," he said gruffly, hanging his coat up.

"I'm too tired," Shuichi's muffled moan reached him.

"Do I have to drag you in there?" he said, turning around.

Shuichi half rolled over so he could twist his head around to view Yuki and grinned. "Are you saying you're gonna sweep me off my feet and carry me away?"

"Don't be stupid," Yuki replied curtly, although the idea of picking up a naked Shuichi and carrying him into the bathroom wasn't a horrid idea by any means. In fact it was too good an idea, judging from the tightening of his trousers.

He turned around again so Shuichi wouldn't see his state of arousal. "Just hurry up. I want one too."

"Yeah, yeah," Shuichi said, sitting up with a deep sigh. "But hey, today was fun wasn't it?"

"I suppose," Yuki replied, not turning around.

"Aw, Yuki!" Shuichi half whined. "Come on, surely you had some fun today? Are you going to tell me it was a complete waste of my time taking you there?"

"No," Yuki said, sitting down on the end of his bed to remove his shoes. "It was okay."

Shuichi stood and stretched before making his way to the bathroom, pausing at the door to scowl back at Yuki. "Honestly, Yuki, you never get excited about anything!", then he disappeared into the room, the door clicking shut behind him.

Yuki sighed, looking at the door. Shuichi was completely wrong. There was one thing that got him excited every time – and that was him. He took another deep breath and willed his arousal down, trying not to let his mind drift to thoughts of a wet and naked Shuichi in the shower.

Today had been a good day. They had got away quite early which had surprised Yuki as up till then Shuichi had usually been tied up with production meetings and the like in relation to the tour. But today he had rushed back to the hotel mid-morning and they had headed off immediately to Toei Uzumasa Eigamura. Yuki had heard of this place before of course, since he had grown up in Kyoto but had never visited it himself. His family hadn't exactly been into that sort of thing when he had been younger. His mother might have done so if she had lived, certainly not his father. So during his childhood he had never come here, then he had spent his early teen years living in America. Upon his return to Japan and his change in behaviour, it wasn't really something that had grabbed his attention. He had never thought he had missed out on anything by not visiting.

However it was certainly a place that made Shuichi's eyes sparkle, with his love for the dramatic and dressing up and it had been at his insistence that they come here so he had the opportunity to see it.

It was designed like a large film set and was frequently used for the filming of various period dramas for just that purpose. Yuki had to admit that it had been rather interesting to wander through the recreated streets and buildings and it certainly gave one a good feel of what it might have once been like. He had even had a few thoughts that he might be able to use in one of his novels if he decided to choose such a setting.

As soon as they arrived, Shuichi had insisted on taking the opportunity of dressing up for the day, a privilege open to all, at a cost of course. He had tried to convince Yuki to join him but he drew the line at that. Shuichi wisely backed down, only asking Yuki's opinion on what costume he should chose and pouring over the photos of each as he chewed on his bottom lip in deep thought.

Finally he made up his mind and disappeared into a curtained alcove at the back of the shop, a number of attendants following him in, leaving Yuki to sit and smoke whilst he waited for Shuichi to reappear. He would occasionally hear laughter and giggles issuing from behind that closed curtain and he wondered just what was going on. It didn't sound like Shuichi was being molested. Or at least if he was he wasn't objecting. That damn hussy!

He ground his teeth on his cigarette, frowning, one foot taping impatiently. Just how long did it take to put some bloody clothes on?! As he sat there he was forced to fend off the frequent efforts from the remaining staff in trying to make him change his mind and follow in Shuichi's footsteps. He was hard pressed to remain polite in his refusal but didn't want to make a scene and spoil the day for Shuichi..

When Shuichi did finally reappear he was dressed as a samurai; orange streaked hair gone, hidden under a skull cap and sporting a false top knot, double swords by his side, make-up accentuating his almond-shaped eyes.

He looked quite dashing really in a way, except his small stature hardly made him seem threatening, especially when he stood next to the much taller Yuki. Still he looked damn good and the shop staff 'oohed' and 'ahhed' over him and official photos were taken immediately. Probably a good thing, Yuki thought, as there was no guarantee what trouble the idiot was likely to get into so the state of his attire might not be the same upon his return at the end of the day.

They then left to view the rest of the premises. This had been their first stop as Shuichi had wanted the opportunity to walk around for the rest of the day in costume, just as other people were. As he said to Yuki, in some ways it was no different to when he put on his stage dress, it was all the same, just make-believe. Yuki didn't say much to that. He didn't think that when Shuichi got up on stage to sing that it really was as much make-believe as the other thought. If anything, it was then that the real Shuichi seemed to come out.

They had taken their time that day and he had actually enjoyed it. They shared a leisurely lunch, he even bent so much as to play a few arcade games with Shuichi, trying to ignore it when his partner got too loud and boisterous. Shuichi was in awe of everything and so took lots of photos, even sneaking in a few of Yuki, catching him unawares at times. He would have to get hold of that digital camera at some stage and be certain to delete those.

However the thing that had relieved him most about this day was that Nakano and Fujisaki hadn't accompanied them. This was the first time they hadn't been with them on their day trips and he was more than relieved to have finally shaken their annoying chaperones. It had made him very uncomfortable having the two of them constantly around he and Shu, watching his every move.

He wondered whose idea it had been for them to have that role; Shuichi's or someone else? Perhaps it had been Tohma's to make certain that nothing upset his star singer. That would be just like his brother-in-law.

So all in all they had had a great day and he had taken great delight, in spite of not showing any evidence of it outwardly, in seeing Shuichi enjoying himself so much, strutting along like a peacock in his costume, really getting into the swing of being a samurai.

Shuichi even managed to find a few other costumed visitors, both male and female, who were enthused just as much as he was and promptly they organised themselves into a hierarchical group, with a couple of the cosplayers being nobility, Shuichi and a few others as their samurai warriors and then a few in the role of lowly servants, and a ninja thrown in for good measure.

With the costume, fake top knot and make-up, Shuichi didn't look anything like the charismatic lead singer of Bad Luck and none of the young people around him appeared to recognise him as such which appeared to delight him no end. He seemed to enjoy this anonymity, throwing himself into his new role with gusto, acting like any other hyper young man. So as a group they happily had mock sword fights, wooed the ladies present, and fended off the ninja leaping around who was trying to whisk their lady loves away.

Yuki had been content to just sit on a bench and watch them from a distance, more concerned about being any closer and possibly losing an eye from an ill swung implement, but also to distance himself from the raucous group as they drew more than one glance from other visitors due to their antics. Yuki didn't want anyone to think he was associated to any of them!

Still it had provided him with some amusement in watching them. He didn't feel in any way left out or abandoned by Shuichi during this interplay for he would frequently fall back by his side to fill him in on further information about his new friends before dashing off once more to join in the fun. See Shuichi like this made Yuki truly believe that his younger partner was completely back to normal. This sort of idiocy he knew well.

He frowned a little as two of the girls clung to either side of Shuichi, one on each arm, giggling and hiding their faces on his shoulder. Just what did they think they were playing at? He continued to glare at them from a distance. Get off him, he snarled mentally at the simpering females. Go grope someone else! Not that Shuichi seemed to mind the attention as he beamed down at them, his smile a little too smug and pleased for Yuki's liking.

His phone jingled, vibrating against the side of his leg as the dark strains of the Funeral March rose into around him. He didn't need to look at the screen to know who was calling, that tune was enough to identify the caller only too clearly, beside it being the only piece of music linked to an actual caller. He wasn't one to bother with that sort of thing but Shuichi had put that tune into his phone a long time ago and he'd never bothered trying to change it. Despite what many people thought, Shuichi actually did know a fair bit about classical music and in a fit of vengeance had allotted the 3rd movement of Chopin's Piano Sonata No 2 to the object of his ire at the time.

The piece continued to play; that dark, almost depressing music making him feel like it was threatening to drag him down into the depths of despair. It certainly wasn't a happy tune in any way.

He was tempted to continue to ignore it but knew that if he did he would get no peace and it would resolve nothing. So, with a sigh, he answered.

"What?"

"Good afternoon, Eiri," Tohma's cheerful voice said. "How are you enjoying the delights of Toei Uzumasa?"

Yuki irrationally looked around him as though expecting to see various types of spy cameras fixed on him, if not Tohma himself standing behind him, but quickly realised that either K or Sakano, or even Shuichi's fellow band members had probably passed that information on to the President of NG. It was always just a little unnerving at how in touch with everything Tohma Seguchi was every minute of the day.

"Fine," he answered shortly. "What do you want?"

"I simply thought I would see how you were doing in your self imposed exile."

"If you're checking to see if I've upset your golden goose, I haven't!" Yuki snapped back.

"Oh, I know that," Tohma's reply was completely unconcerned. He probably was fully aware of it. Everyone else would have been quick enough to tell him if Yuki had done anything untoward to Shuichi. Hell, probably Shuichi would have done so as well!

"Humph!" was all Yuki allowed himself to say. There was no point trying to argue with Tohma.

"I just wondered," And now Tohma's voice became serious. "If you were coping?"

Yuki waited as he lit a cigarette before replying. So that was it. "It's been fine," he answered shortly.

"Truly?"

"Yes,"

"So things are going…well?"

Yuki exhaled and let the silence lengthen, thinking. What was Tohma really asking, he pondered. He was certainly fishing for some kind of information but Yuki wasn't sure exactly what it was that he wanted to hear.

"Look, I haven't molested or strangled him and he hasn't thrown me over the balcony or tried to smother me in my sleep so we're doing just fine. Happy?"

"Hmm," was Tohma's frustrating reply.

Yuki ground his teeth a little. He so often wished that his brother-in-law would just learn to come straight out and say what ever it was he wanted to say instead of going about it so cryptically and leaving everyone else's head spinning!

"What are you after, Tohma?" he snarled.

"Hmm? Oh, nothing in particular," Tohma replied, sounding a little distracted. "I have a meeting to go to. I'm glad you are both doing well. We'll speak again when you return to Tokyo. Good day, Eiri. Take care."

Yuki stared at the suddenly silent phone in his hand and was almost tempted to immediately ring Tohma back and demand that he make some sense but he knew that he probably wouldn't even bother picking up. That conversation just didn't seem to make any sense at all to him.

He mentally shrugged and pushed the phone back into his pocket and stood to catch up to where Shuichi and his friends were heading, glancing at his watch. They would have to make a move to leave shortly. No doubt he would have to listen to Shuichi's wails of despair all the way back to the hotel at having to leave so early.

Once more, after having their day out Shuichi had to go on to the concert venue for his performance and Yuki accompanied him. Although he was seeing the same show each time he never tired of watching Shuichi on stage. Each show was subtly different in the way the stage was set up and thus how Bad Luck had to work it during their performances. Even the crowds were different and so Shuichi adapted his routine accordingly each time.

It was quite an eye opener for Yuki in many ways. He had never bothered to spend this much time with Shuichi when he was on tour previously so he had only watched a few of his concerts in person. Now, he could only admire how masterfully Shuichi could plan and execute each show, being able to adapt as need be and draw the best from each audience. Shuichi didn't just get up there and sing and expect it all to go well. He worked for the ovations; he sweated for it and he made sure he would get them.

Watching Shuichi in his element like this made Yuki realise that he had been missing out on something very important for so long during their prior relationship. Now that he knew what he had been missing he was determined to not let it continue.

At the end of the show Shuichi had come off the stage glowing, energy seeming to still be crackling from his body as he wiped sweat from his smiling face, talking animatedly with Nakano and Fujisaki. When he was finally calmed down enough they left and returned to the hotel.

Now it was time to try to get some sleep.

Despite Shuichi's claims that he was fine and getting enough rest Yuki wasn't so sure. He was certain that there were the beginnings of dark circles under Shuichi's eyes, although the stage make-up easily hid that.

Not surprising really that his eyes were becoming shadowed when Shuichi was being busier than usual with not just the normal tour commitments but also with going out with Yuki during the day and still having to perform at night. In some ways he was glad he would be leaving in another day so he might have a chance to relax a little more between performances.

He heard Shuichi leave the bathroom and watched him yawn again as he rubbed the towel over his damp hair.

"I'm done," he said, making his way towards his bed.

"Fine," Yuki acknowledged as he stood and headed in the direction Shuichi had just come. "Hurry up and get under the covers before you get chilled."

"Aw, Yuki, are you trying to take care of me?" Shuichi said, laughter in his voice.

Yuki turned at the bathroom door and looked back with a scowl on his face to see Shuichi smiling as he pulled the covers back and jumped into bed.

"I just don't want to have to hear Tohma bitching at me 'cause you've got a cold and lost your voice!" he snapped and entered the bathroom.

He showered quickly, refusing to let his thoughts wander again, finishing up his ablutions in record time. When he returned to the bedroom he could see Shuichi was already slumbering, mouth open and softly snoring.

He quietly watched for a moment, enjoying the sight of his partner's face relaxed in sleep. Quietly he walked around the suite, turning off all the lights, checking the door was locked securely and forgoing his desire to have one last cigarette before bed.

He paused for a moment at Shuichi's bedside as he reached down to flick off the lamp by his head, studying the sleeping features. Slowly he leaned down until he could brush his lips gently against the bare forehead, feeling the warmth of the skin against his flesh.

Turning swiftly Yuki forced himself back to his side of the room and crawled into his own bed, trying to get comfortable and wishing that he had a warm, slight body lying next to him to wrap his arms around as he slept.

-oOo-

The next day Shuichi was up early to do some photo shoots, dawn barely having broken on the horizon to chase the night away.

"Brr!" He shivered as he splashed cold water over his face. "That's cold!"

"You could have used hot water," Yuki stated evenly, watching from the doorway.

Shuichi looked at him in the mirror. "That would have probably put me back to sleep," he admitted, running a brush through his hair and sending droplets of water into the air.

"So when will you be done today?" Yuki asked.

Shuichi grimaced as he paused in his shaving. "Not till later this afternoon," he said in an apologetic voice. "We've got some things to sort out after the shoot."

Yuki half shrugged. "That's fine,"

"Are you still okay to go out later though?" Shuichi patted his face down as he turned.

"Yeah," Yuki replied.

"Good!" Shuichi was all smiles then. "Gotta go!" he said, brushing a soft kiss on Yuki's cheek as he pushed past him. "See you later!"

The door slammed shut, leaving a stunned Yuki where he remained frozen in place in the bathroom.

Shuichi had kissed him?! He kissed him! Disbelieving, his hand rose to touch the softly assaulted cheek. What the hell had brought that on?

Mentally shaking himself, his thoughts still racing, his hands patted at non-existent pockets in his pyjamas, searching for his usual crutch, the obligatory cigarettes.

Finding none, he half staggered back into the main room, almost in a daze, and made a bee-line directly to where his jacket was thrown over the back of a chair. Sure enough his questing fingers found the familiar shape and withdrew it along with his lighter. His hands went through the motions of lighting up automatically, whilst his mind continued to circle.

He had been caught completely off guard by Shuichi's action. There had been no lead up, no indication that Yuki could tell that he had intended to do that, nothing at all. He had thought, if anything, that all the indications had been that Shuichi wasn't ready for that sort of interaction between them. Had he missed something?

He wandered out onto the balcony, drawing deeply on the cigarette between his lips, feeling himself begin to relax as the nicotine flooded his lungs.

He leant on the railing. He didn't think he had missed anything. Sure things had seemed a little easier between them since Osaka, that had seemed to be a sort of turning point between them, not that he really understood why or how. Still things had seemed better since then, a little more relaxed at least in regards to being physically around each other.

Especially from Shuichi. He didn't flinch or shy away when they were close to each other, or accidentally touched and stuff anymore, but he still hadn't thought things had gone any further than that. Does this mean he should.…

He suddenly remembered what his last abortive attempt to kiss Shuichi had been like and half shuddered, remembering the contempt in the other's eyes. No, it probably wouldn't be a good idea to try that again, certainly not when he'd had something to drink. Okay, that time he'd had a lot to drink but that really wasn't the point. It would still be a bad move all round to try that again at this point.

But for Shuichi to do that it must mean something surely? He hadn't done it under any sort of coercion and it hadn't seemed forced in any way. In fact it had seemed just like old times, the way he would just suddenly drift past Yuki and bestow a kiss and a smile in passing as though it were perfectly natural to do so.

That openness of expression of affection was something Yuki had always envied in Shuichi. No matter how hard he tried, such gestures still did not come easy to him. It wasn't that he didn't want to do them. It just seemed as though his mind had forgotten how to do it. It was only from being with Shuichi that he had begun to relearn how to show those gentle romantic moments, the soft touches and meaningful gestures. He had forgotten how hard it was to do now he was trying to court Shuichi. So did this mean Shuichi wanted to be wooed by him?

He groaned as he dropped his forehead to his folded arms. This early in the morning such thoughts just made his head hurt!

He lifted his head a little so his chin rested on his arms, eyes narrowing a little at a sudden thought. He could try doing something for Shuichi, sort of like what he had done for Yuki in Osaka.

He thought about it some more, puffing on his cigarette. There were no ferris wheels to take Shuichi on after the concert and he was concerned about making him lose any more sleep, not to mention that it would just be copying Shuichi's idea. This afternoon they were going to Gion Corner as Shuichi had not really been there before and he had already arranged for a special performance in one of the tea houses just for the two of them before he had to go to tonight's concert.

Yuki rolled the cigarette to the other side of his mouth and back again. Shuichi was the one doing all the organising to go places at the moment. Perhaps he really should try and come up with something instead.

He blew out some smoke. Perhaps he should visit his old man and ask what might be a good place to go? He blinked twice as he realised what he had just thought. What the fuck was he thinking?! How crazy was he to even contemplate such an idea?! Just went to show much that kiss had confused him!

He turned and went inside, heading for the bathroom. No matter, he was determined to think about this some more before Shuichi's return and he would figure out something.

Meanwhile, there was a warmth emanating from his cheek that seemed to permeate right to the very depths of his soul.


	18. Chapter 18

**Title**: Unlocking My Love

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings:** some mild bad language

Author's Note: To all who celebrate the Festive Season, I trust you will enjoy yourselves. For those that don't I hope the past year has been good and best wishes to all for 2008.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, they belong to the creator of 'Gravitation'.

-oOo-

Chapter 18

"There'

Yuki looked across to see Ayaka stepping back from the table with a satisfied expression. He saw her frown for a moment, reach out to minutely shift a glass a fraction to the left before making a satisfied 'hmm', before looking over to him.

"What do you think?" she asked.

He looked over the table preparations and shrugged, reaching up to place his cigarette in his mouth. "Okay," he muttered.

He chose to ignore the flash of ire on Ayaka's normally calm countenance as he turned back to the bench and picked up the knife he had been using. He began to dice the vegetables before him with quick, precise strokes, the blade thumping against the wooden board in a brisk concerto.

A hand reached up and swiftly removed the cigarette dangling from between his lips, startling him so he lost his rhythm which almost resulted in the loss of digits also.

"Hey!" he snarled, turning, knife still in hand, and glowered at the culprit.

Ayaka calmly stubbed the cigarette out in the ashtray on the bench. "It is extremely unhygienic to cook whilst smoking," she stated calmly, before emptying the ashtray into the trash can, then turning to rinse it under the tap, giving it a quick shake before wiping it clean with some paper.

Now she met his glower, saying, "You don't really want not only yourself but your home to stink of cigarette smoke on the first night he's back do you?"

Yuki thought about it for a moment to try and come up with a suitably scathing remark but couldn't, so instead he turned back to his preparations, saying in a sulky voice, "He's used to it."

Ayaka snorted delicately. "Well, he's more tolerant than he should be!" she said, picking up a few dishes and retuning to the table.

"You can't talk. What about your lapdog?" Yuki snarled at her, feeling a little put upon. "He smokes."

"And Hiro at least makes the effort when he sees me to not come smelling like a chimney, or putting in my food!" she stated archedly.

Yuki just growled and tipped the contents on the board into the simmering pot. The aroma that wafted from the uncovered meal pleased him. Yes, it was coming along nicely.

"Is there anything else you need?" Ayaka asked.

He thought a moment then shook his head. "No."

Ayaka sighed. "You could, at the least, say thank you," she said with some exasperation as she picked up her bag, then coat, slipping it on.

He looked briefly at her, not ceasing his cutting. "Thanks," he said shortly, embarrassment making him brusque.

She just rolled her eyes as she slipped on her shoes and picked up the carefully wrapped box beside them. "You are welcome, Eiri," she said with a small smile. "And thank you for doing this for me." She indicated the box she was carrying.

He just nodded briefly.

"I'll let myself out," Ayaka said, glancing at her watch. "I'll have to hurry or I won't be home in time myself." She opened the door and gave him a cheerful wave. "Have a good evening, Eiri. I hope it all goes well for you both."

"Huh," was his only reply as she closed the door behind her.

When he had planned this evening he'd struggled with whom to ask for some assistance. He couldn't ask his sister. Mika would have driven him crazy, not to mention that she would want to know every single detail as well as expect a full report afterwards. On top of that, she would also never let him live it down for the rest of his life and he wasn't about to give her anything further that she could embarrass and blackmail him with. She had far too much as it was.

So with Mika scratched, he wasn't left with many other options. In fact it really only came down to one person and that was Ayaka as the logical choice. He knew he could count on her to help him if he asked. She had always remained steadfastly loyal and with her engaged to Nakano that meant that he still saw her rather regularly and she certainly kept up with what was happening in his life. It was funny in a way. After he'd broken off their engagement he had thought he would never see her again and yet here they were, years later, still spending time together. In fact, they spent more time together now than they had previously. Life was weird like that.

It had been almost a week since he'd last seen Shuichi. On his last day in Kyoto with the Bad Luck tour he had gone to some lengths to try and do something special for Shuichi. So far it had seemed that Shuichi had been the one doing everything and Yuki was beginning to worry that if he didn't reciprocate then Shuichi would think he was putting in the effort. So when Shuichi had said that he would have almost the entire day off before that evening's concert Yuki had put things in motion.

He had refused to tell Shuichi where they were going, simply bundling him into the chauffer driven car and told him to sit back and enjoy the trip. He had, however, ensured that the car had been well stocked with soft drink and snacks, namely Shuichi's favourite, strawberry Pocky. He personally hated the flavour but he had to admit that he had always liked it on Shuichi; or at least on Shuichi's lips and tongue.

Watching Shuichi talking animatedly whilst they drove along made Yuki aware again of just how things had changed. Not once did Shuichi whine at him, demanding where they were going and that Yuki tell him, crying when Yuki didn't, or wailing in the way he used to. Now, this composed young man leant back in the plush leather seats and waved a hand with leather bound wrist around as he went over the finer points of the previous night's concert, even asking Yuki's opinion on some matters. Yes, things certainly had changed. Yuki had to keep remembering that or he would screw everything up again.

So the drive had passed very pleasantly for them both, with not a single harsh word said although there was still plenty of banter in the conversation. When the car finally pulled up at their destination, Shuichi seemed more like his old self, curiousity and excitement causing him to plaster himself against the window as he tried to peer out and see where they were.

"Why don't you just open the door and get out, you moron," Yuki said with a touch of sarcasm as he did exactly that. He straightened his jacket, smoothing the wrinkles, then turned as Shuichi exited on the other side.

"So where are we?" Shuichi said, turning to look at Yuki across the top of the car.

"Come on," Yuki said, striding towards a large building. He could hear the tapping of Shuichi's shoes behind and knew he was following.

Yuki lead them to a small side door where a man was waiting to meet them. He bowed as Yuki stopped and said a few quiet words and then motioned for them to accompany him which they did. Although Shuichi was saying nothing, Yuki could almost feel the tension building as the younger man tried to control his inquisitiveness.

As they finally stepped back out into the open air Yuki turned to see what Shuichi would say now. The singer was standing and staring, mouth open as he gazed all around him, up at the multitude of hanging baskets with bright flowers in bloom, at the rail tracks and then he turned back to Yuki.

"Is this….?" His voice trailed away as he waited for Yuki's response.

"Yes," Yuki replied, lighting a cigarette. "It's the Torokko Ressha Train. I thought you might like it."

"This is just great!" Shuichi said, almost bouncing in place, a broad smile on his face. "I've never been on it before!"

"I know. That's why I chose it."

"Thank you!" and Shuichi suddenly flung himself at Yuki and hugging him briefly then spinning away and almost running down the empty platform before turning and waving at Yuki. "Come on!" he called out.

"Okay, okay," Yuki called back, walking more slowly. That hug had caught him completely by surprise so he hadn't had time to respond in anyway at all and it had been over all too soon. Now he regretted that he hadn't been able to hold onto that warm body for just a little longer.

Their escort motioned them to a bench and bowed again. "Please remain here," the man said politely. "Screens will be erected so you will have complete privacy from the rest of today's commuters. Please be assured that we will do everything to ensure you have a pleasant trip." He bowed again and then walked away, and only a moment later some maintenance personnel appeared and true to his word screens were installed, blocking their view of the rest of the station platform so they now sat in their own private alcove.

"What's that for?" Shuichi asked, leaning forward to look at the screens with a frown.

"I said I didn't want to be bugged by other people," Yuki replied around his cigarette. He leant back on the bench, both arms stretched across the back. "It's going to be pretty damn crowded so I told them if they want my business they need to keep the mob away."

Shuichi looked up at him with a half smile. "And knowing you, you probably said it exactly like that too!"

Just then there was an explosion of sound and they were forced to cease all conversation as the rest of the commuters were allowed entry to the platform. Shuichi got up and peered through the crack between the screens and was amazed at the number of people he could see milling around, all of them talking loudly and the air seemed to crackle with the excitement that was exuding from everyone.

He turned back to look at Yuki in amazement. "Wow! I never thought it would be so busy!"

"It's a very popular thing to do," Yuki explained, removing his cigarette and exhaling slowly. "Especially for couples."

"Really?" Shuichi questioned, returning to his seat beside Yuki.

"Yeah. That's why it pays to get here early and make certain you get a seat. If you're too late or it's exceptionally busy it might take you nearly all day to get a seat even if you did arrive first thing in the morning."

"So how did you get tickets so quickly? It looks pretty packed out there. Don't tell me you pulled some strings or something?" Shuichi tilted his head to one side, waiting for Yuki's answer but before he could do so there was a loud whistle that made Shuichi jump in surprise.

Turning his head in the opposite direction he saw the train slowly drawing nearer. "Wow!" he exclaimed, leaping to his feet and moving closer to the edge of the platform as the train drew nearer.

"Watch it!" Yuki snapped. "You fall on the tracks you'll be nothing but a smear and I'm not scrapping you off!"

Shuichi looked over his shoulder and stuck his tongue out at Yuki, not bothering to answer as he returned his attention to the train that was now settling in against the station.

Their escort returned and motioned them forward, opening a carriage door for them. Shuichi bounded in first with Yuki following more slowly.

"So where can we sit?" Shuichi wanted to know.

"Anywhere," Yuki replied, sitting down in the middle of the carriage, back against the window.

"But what about everyone else?" Shuichi wanted to know as he slid in opposite.

"Haven't you figured it out yet?" Yuki said, sliding out of his jacket, tossing it in an untidy heap to the seats across from them.

Shuichi just stared at him, then frowned. "What? You're going to call me an idiot again, aren't you?"

"Well, in this case you deserve it," Yuki replied. "If you don't want to be called it, don't act like an imbecile."

Shuichi rolled his eyes and leant back, crossing his arms over his chest, glaring at Yuki. "Okay then, Mr I'm-so-clever, explain it to me!"

"I've booked out the entire carriage," Yuki said, enjoying the sight of Shuichi's brows rising in surprise. "How else do you think we'd get any peace at all on this thing? It's packed with people, most of whom would know either Bad Luck or Yuki Eiri, so unless you wanted to be pawed to death this was the only way we could do it."

"No, no, pawing to death isn't high on my list of things to do today, truly it isn't!" Shuichi said with a broad smile. "You thought this through pretty well, didn't you?"

Yuki grunted. "Well someone had to. It sure wasn't going to be you."

Shuichi leant forward then, resting his chin on his cupped hands and smirked at Yuki. "You're not just a pretty face after all!"

"Put a sock in it!" Yuki snarled back in mock anger.

Shuichi just laughed and then bolted to the other side of the carriage with a delighted yell as the train pulled away from the station and began its journey.

The rest of the trip went exceedingly well. They talked, they laughed, they joked, they teased. Halfway through a sumptuous picnic lunch was brought in and laid out for them, complete with their alcohol of choice. It was all light food which meant that none of it would sit heavily in their stomachs making it easier for Shuichi to digest so it wasn't likely to affect him later that evening when he was performing. Yuki had taken great care in selecting the menu for just that reason.

When they reached their destination they disembarked, again discreetly hidden from view and were whisked into a darkly tinted car to be driven further into the mountains. There, they were lead into a secluded tea house where light refreshments were served to them in the elegant garden, under the weeping wisteria bursting with colour. It was a pleasing way to relax and it wasn't long before Yuki glanced over to see Shuichi curled up on the bench, eyes closed, face relaxed.

He looks tired, Yuki thought, gazing at the slumbering features. It's a good thing they use such heavy make-up or those dark circles would start to show through. He felt that he was the cause of those blemishes. Shuichi had been trying to cram everything in during these last few days; still doing the preparation for each night's concert, the performances, and trying to spend time with Yuki.

Yuki quietly lit up another cigarette. Well, he could let Shuichi sleep for a bit, and had leant back and closed his own eyes, allowing his hand to fall to his side so his fingers were just touching those of Shuichi's.

He came out of his doze at the quietly words spoken and opened his eyes to see the owner of the establishment bowing before him. "My pardon, sir, but your car is waiting."

"Thank you," he said in acknowledgement and turned to see that Shuichi was still sleeping. He had rolled over onto his stomach at some point and was looking a little less elegant than he had begun. A smile tugged at the corner of Yuki's mouth. It reminded him only too well of how Shuichi loved to hog the bed.

He stood and leant down to lightly shake the shoulder. "Come on, Shuichi," he said softly. "Time to wake up."

"Yu…ki…..ah…no…..yessss…." Shuichi snuffled in his sleep but showed no sign of waking.

Yuki froze and stared down at the sleeping figure. Was Shuichi dreaming about him? What was he dreaming about? That had almost sounded…..sensual. Or perhaps he was reading too much into it.

He mentally shook himself and rocked the sleeper again. "Shuichi," he called a little louder this time.

"Later….a little longer…." Shuichi's mumbled.

Yuki felt himself snap then. "Get your stupid ass up, you idiot!!" and he kicked the base of the bench, making it rock precariously for a moment and threatening to tip Shuichi to the ground.

"What…..what…?" Shuichi now sat up, rubbing at his eyes.

"Shit, you sleep like the dead." Yuki exclaimed, shrugging into his jacket. "Hurry up. We've got to get back or we'll miss the train."

"Oh, okay," Shuichi gave another sleepy yawn and ran his hands through his orange tipped hair before rubbing his eyes as he followed Yuki out to the car.

They returned to the station and again at their own private carriage. Shuichi spent most of the trip back hanging out the open window and waving at the people in the boats as they took the return journey along the Hozu River. Yuki had momentarily contemplated that for this trip but after his misfortune on the Santa Maria cruise in Osaka he decided not to risk it.

By the time they had returned to Kyoto Shuichi hadn't had much time to get ready for the evening's show and afterwards he had simply fallen directly into bed, his soft slow breathing indicating clearly to Yuki that he had drifted immediately into sleep again. However, when Yuki had then entered the bathroom to get ready for bed, having allowed Shuichi to go first due to his tiredness, he found a message scrawled in shaving cream across the top of the bench saying, "Thank you, Yuki!" and those simple words had sent butterflies flapping through his stomach.

"Idiot," he had muttered to himself as he grabbed a towel and wiped the bench clean, erasing the words completely. Still he hadn't been able to stop the small smile that had slipped onto his face.

The next morning had been rushed as he had to depart early and Shuichi had a prior appointment so they had no time to do more than a few hurried thank you's and a promise that when the tour returned to Tokyo that they would have dinner.

So that was where they were at now. He had contacted Shuichi as soon as Bad Luck had arrived in Tokyo for the last leg of the tour and they had set tonight as the day. There was no point trying to do it immediately as Shuichi would be far too busy but there were only a few more days to go now so it seemed the best time. Yuki wasn't about to say that he didn't want to wait any longer without seeing him!

However, he had been a little in a quandary then. He had ensured he got Shuichi's commitment to come over tonight but then he had had to try and think of what else to do. He wanted to try and make the occasion special in some way; without going over the top. The cooking wasn't a problem. He knew all Shuichi's favourites and that hadn't seemed to have changed but he hadn't wanted things to be a little…more. He was loathe to use the word 'romantic' but even he had to admit that was probably what he was trying for. He wanted to coax Shuichi back and he wasn't very good at subtle.

So he had swallowed his pride and called Ayaka to help him out in this, knowing that she would be able to keep it low key, yet tasteful. She had agreed, with a condition of her own which was that he helped her with a couple of dishes that she wanted to make for Nakano as a surprise. He readily accepted; that was hardly as terrible as what he could expect from Mika if he'd approached her. At least Ayaka wouldn't give him a hard time about it either.

He looked the preparations over. It all seemed just perfect; from the table to the rest of the apartment. His home had been cleaned from ceiling to floor, so much so that even the wooden boards seemed to sparkle. Ayaka never did anything by halves so when he had asked her to help him set up things for a nice meal as soon as she had walked in there was no stopping her. He'd been forced into the hall as she had swooped upon the kitchen, scrubbing till it gleamed and then was herded into that corner and ordered to begin preparations whilst she tackled the rest of his unsuspecting apartment. He hadn't even known he'd had enough cleaning materials in the house to do the wonders that she had in such a short time.

Yuki looked over it all again and chewed on the unlit cigarette between his lips. His fingers crept towards his lighter but he dragged them away. As much as he hated admitting it but Ayaka was probably right. He should at least hold off on the smoking till after dinner. This time Shuichi was, after all, a guest so he should try and put on some sort of good front.

Well, he'd better go and have a quick shower before Shuichi arrived, he thought, when there was a knock on the door. It startled him so much that he made no immediate move towards it. His heart beat rapidly and his throat was suddenly dry. Surely it wasn't that time already? Shit! He hadn't even got changed!

The knock came a second time and this galvanized him into action. A few long strides brought him directly in front of it where he paused for a moment to drag a hand briefly through his hair in an attempt to smooth it into place as he opened the door.

On the other side stood a beaming Shuichi, looking fresh and bright, teeth gleaming as he smiled and holding up a brown bag. "I come bearing gifts!" he declared magnanimously.

"What is it?" Yuki wanted to know, feeling more than a little seedy as he noticed that Shuichi seemed to positively glow with freshness.

"Beer!" Shuichi eyed Yuki still blocking the doorway. "So does this mean I can come in?"

"Yeah, I guess so." and Yuki stepped aside. Well, there was nothing he could do about it now. He could hardly leave Shuichi standing in the hall while he went and bathed!

Shuichi immediately entered and slipped out of his shoes, then jacket, hanging it on the hooks by the door. He was wearing a bright red shirt, half unbuttoned with the gold chain around his neck glittering. He's still wearing it, Yuki couldn't help but think. Just seeing that warmed his heart.

"Your hair's getting long," Shuichi suddenly said as he turned and scrutinised Yuki for a moment.

"Yeah," Yuki replied, reaching up and tugging on the long strands falling into his eyes. He then half reached towards Shuichi's before halting his hands progress and just said, "So's yours."

Shuichi laughed and nodded agreement, reaching up to run his hand's through the shorter fringe and down through the orange streaked mass at the back.

"I know. I've been thinking perhaps I should cut it short like it used to be."

"I like it like this," Yuki said before he could stop himself.

Shuichi just looked at him, surprise on his face.

"I mean," Yuki said, glancing away self consciously. "I think it suits you like that." He half shifted his weight on his feet, feeling uncomfortable still. "Except for the orange bits which make it look diseased."

Shuichi's face remained blank for a moment and Yuki wondered if he'd been too blunt and pissed him off but then he burst out laughing.

"Only you would come up with that one!" Shuichi said, still chuckling, running his hand though his hair again. "I've been threatening Sakano to dye it blue. You should see his face then!"

"I can imagine," Yuki said as he turned and made his way towards the kitchen with Shuichi trailing after him.

"Wow!"

His sudden exclamation made Yuki hurriedly spin around, wondering what had happened now. "What?!"

"This is amazing!" Shuichi stood by the table. "Did you do this?" He gazed at Yuki with sparkling eyes, obviously impressed.

As much as Yuki wanted to take all the credit he couldn't bring himself to lie. "I had some help," he conceded, not bothering to elaborate.

"Well, it still looks great. So what's for dinner?" Shuichi said, hopping up to perch on the stool at the counter.

"You can wait to find out," Yuki said, beginning to set out plates and bowls. "Why don't you find some music to put on?" he suggested, nodding towards the stereo system. "And nothing crappy." he warned.

"So you're admitting that you have crappy stuff in your collection?" Shuichi said impishly.

Yuki glared at him, refusing to answer. In fact he hoped that he had put away all the really embarrassing ones.

As Shuichi attended to that task, occasionally calling out the possible selections whereas Yuki responded with either a flat out 'No!' or a grudging acceptance, he continued to set out dinner. There didn't seem to be any point in putting off eating, it would only have the chance of spoiling if they waited. Besides, he was hungry. His nervous tension had prevented him eating all day so his stomach was insisting on getting something substantial into it before the day was done.

As soon as the music began and Shuichi had considerately turned it to a suitable volume that did not preclude conversation, rather unlike the level that he used to set it which had resulted in frequent complaints from the neighbours initially, he joined Yuki at the table just as the last dish was set down.

"Want to drink your beer out of a glass?" Yuki asked.

"Nah," Shuichi replied as he sat down. "It will only mean more washing up after."

Yuki grunted agreement and swiftly grabbed two beer cans from the fridge and set them on the table. They looked completely incongruous amongst the elegant setting. Ayaka would definitely disapprove. Yet that sight put him a little more at ease.

Shuichi immediately raised his can, cracking it open and looking over at Yuki who was doing the same. "Here's to us!" he said brightly, stretching his hand to the middle of the table.

Yuki lifted his can, trying not to read too much into that statement, and Shuichi clicked his against it, chuckling as he drank.

"You'll get hiccups if you do that," Yuki stated as he too drank.

Shuichi smacked his lips together, still smiling. "No fear!" he said bravely. "Ah, beer always tastes better out of a can!" He took another deep draught.

Yuki watched his throat bob as he swallowed. At this rate Shuichi was going to have finished his first drink before dinner had even begun.

"If you get sick don't be spewing up in my house," he warned, having another drink himself.

"Don't worry," Shuichi assured him. "It's just really good to be able to relax and have a drink. K watches us like a hawk when we're away in case we have a few too many. He takes all the fun out it."

"Must be tough being a star," Yuki reached out and began to dish up, including placing portions onto Shuichi's plate who didn't make any attempt to stop him.

"Well, it's tiring if nothing else," Shuichi replied, and Yuki could hear that underlying tiredness even in his voice. Not surprising. This tour had been gruelling, with all the lead up and new image for Bad Luck, the release of the new album and then straight into a tour. No, it hadn't been easy on him.

"So it's still been going okay?" Yuki questioned, wondering if it would help Shuichi to talk about it a bit.

"Yep," Shuichi sparkled again. "Just three more days and it's over!" That would be the last dates of the tour which was finishing here in Tokyo.

"How are you going to feel about that?" Yuki asked, knowing how much Shuichi enjoyed the live performances.

"Hmm," Shuichi leant his elbows on the table, supporting his chin on his hands, his face taking on a thoughtful gaze. "I'll be a bit sad that it's all over," he said slowly. "It's a real buzz touring and really exiting. But it will be nice to finally have a breather and a chance to get our heads back together again."

"So what's planned next?" Yuki asked as they ate.

"Oh, Tohma hasn't said anything, apart from the usual interviews and guest appearances and stuff. I think he's waiting to assess how the whole tour has gone before deciding on what we have to do."

"That sounds like him," Yuki agreed with Shuichi's assessment.

They continued with the meal, Shuichi occasionally getting up to change the music to something different when either of them were tired of what ever had been playing. He even helped Yuki clean up after, offering to dry the dishes whilst Yuki washed.

"Hey, I just noticed something!" Shuichi suddenly said.

"What?" Yuki asked, placing the last pot on the bench and tipping the water out, before wiping his hands dry.

Shuichi looked up at him from where he knelt before an open cupboard, a smile on his face that seemed a little nostalgic. "You've got everything in exactly the same place as it used to be before."

"Have I?" Yuki peered down with a frown. He certainly hadn't done it intentionally if that was the case. He looked again at Shuichi gazing now into the interior of the cupboard.

"Well, I guess some things don't change, do they?" Shuichi said then, standing up and closing the door firmly.

Yuki didn't know if he meant it as a good thing or not and wasn't game to question it. Shuichi finished the last couple of items and then joined Yuki in the lounge room where he immediately managed to cajole Yuki into playing some video games with him, something that Yuki hadn't done since Shuichi had left. Still, although he argued and snarled at having to do it, he wasn't that unhappy to have the opportunity to be able to sit so close to Shuichi.

Finally Shuichi glanced at the clock on the wall and gave a little sigh.

"Guess I should be going now," Shuichi said, standing. "It's getting kind of late."

"Yeah," Yuki agreed, following suite.

"Thanks for the meal. It was fantastic!" Shuichi said brightly, walking toward the front door.

"Not a problem," Yuki replied, watching as Shuichi bent to pull on his shoes. No, he wasn't paying attention to how Shuichi's trousers stretched tight across his arse. No, he was definitely not checking him out like that. Not at all.

Shuichi straightened, yanking his jacket down from the hook and turned to face Yuki.

"Ah," He began, standing in front of Yuki but then paused in what ever he'd been about to say. He remained silent, only shifting a little from foot to foot almost nervously.

Yuki too began to feel edgy at the lengthening silence. He needed to say something but what? How should he do this? What was the way he needed to finish of this night? Everything had gone so well up to this point, the last thing he wanted to do was have it go to pieces again.

After a little longer and it was obvious that Shuichi wasn't about to speak again, the tension had become almost unbearable and so Yuki finally said a little gruffly, "Well, goodnight.", then he almost held his breath awaiting Shuichi's answer.

"Uh, okay," was the only response. Not quite the enthusiasm that he was hoping for but perhaps it was the best it was going to be at this stage.

Still they stood there, neither moving, both obviously ill at ease. Yuki ground his teeth together. Damn it, this wasn't supposed to be happening. Why was it so fucking hard to say 'good night'?!

Finally Yuki made a decision. If he didn't do something it looked they would both remain where they were until they died of sedentary blood clots or something.

So taking a deep internal breath he leant down, carefully aiming for Shuichi's cheek. However, at the last moment, just before his lips would have connected, Shuichi moved his head and instead Yuki lips fell upon Shuichi's.

He almost jerked back in shock but temptation was greater, so he remained where he was, holding the kiss. It was a gentle kiss, nothing like what the kisses used to be between them. In the old days they had been hot and heavy, filled with passion, lust and a desire for sex. This kiss was none of that. It was soft and gentle and simple. He didn't try and force the issue, not wanting to push things further, fighting against his desire to thrust his tongue into that moist cavern and claim Shuichi's mouth all over again. Instead he just allowed their lips to remain pressed together.

He's wearing that damn lip balm, he half thought , recognizing the slightly slick sensation and the almost medicinal taste. At least it wasn't some sickly fruit flavoured stuff; that was one saving grace. Even if it had been at this point he really wouldn't have minded.

The kiss continued and Yuki held himself tightly in check, keeping his hands clenched tightly at his sides, resisting the urge to wrap his arms around the man before him and clasp him tightly. He knew full well that if he tried to do that, if he tried in any way to restrain Shuichi or make him think he was trying to use force again it would all be over. He wouldn't get another chance at this. So he kept control of himself.

But although this was like a dream come true for him there was only so much self control he had and if this kiss continued for much longer he would lose the last strands there were. So he reluctantly withdrew from those soft lips, despite his inner voice screaming at him to do otherwise. He mentally swatted it silent. Now was not the time or place. He was not going to screw up like before.

As he lifted his head, he opened his eyes to look down at Shuichi's upturned face with eyes still shut. He's got such long eye lashes, Yuki thought absently. Just then Shuichi opened his eyes and captured his gaze with those intense amethyst eyes that always stopped his breath and made his heart pound in a way no-one else could make it. Yuki drew back further before he truly did lose control completely, putting some distance between them.

"Er," Yuki fumbled for something to say. He didn't want this night to end now. That kiss only made him want to keep Shuichi's presence near him for longer. It had been such a long time since he had had that, and now he didn't want to let him go just yet. Not when it seemed they were finally coming together.

"You know, you could just stay here tonight," Yuki said suddenly, his voice sounding loud in the silence that had settled in the apartment. He kept his eyes turned to one side, refusing to look directly at Shuichi . "You've had a few to drink so you can always stay the night."

He glanced at Shuichi from the corner of his eye and saw him flinch a little. Shit! "Look," he said hurriedly, trying to forestall any hurried escape Shuichi may try to initiate in panic. "The couch is comfortable enough. You could have the bed and I'll sleep there."

Damn it, he thought, fumbling to a stop. He's pushing too hard again.

He waited for the explosion, tensing up, fully expecting to be hit even, but when none immediately came he looked down at Shuichi and was surprised to see a small smile on his face.

"Thanks," Shuichi said quietly. "But it's okay. I'll head home."

"Yeah. Sure," Yuki didn't try to make any attempt to forestall him this time as Shuichi walked to the door, fighting back the bitter disappointment he felt. Still at least Shuichi hadn't run out screaming so perhaps he could take that as a good sign.

Yuki followed him to the door, standing silent as he reached out for the handle before pausing for a moment and then turning to face him again. Shuichi gazed up at him, his face serious and Yuki couldn't help but wonder once more what was really going on in that head now.

"Hey," Shuichi suddenly said, beckoning for Yuki to bend down closer.

"What?" he replied, complying.

Shuichi reached out, gripped the front of his shirt and suddenly pulled him closer so their lips touched again in a kiss.

Yuki was caught completely by surprise, the unexpected forward momentum making his parted lips press firmly against Shuichi's. Before he could recover, he felt the tip of Shuichi's tongue fleetingly graze across his teeth and lightly touch his tongue before retreating just as swiftly. He was released just as promptly although Shuichi retained his grip on Yuki's shirt, keeping him bent down so they were eye to eye.

Shuichi gazed at him seriously, large eyes pinning him in place.

"That's so you don't forget," Shuichi said a little huskily. "Hold onto that thought. About staying over."

Then he released Yuki abruptly and stepped back through the now open door, a crooked grin on his face.

"Sleep tight," he said mischievously and then turned and walked away, leaving a stunned Yuki at the door.

Had Shuichi just said he would stay over next time? Had he really?

Yuki felt like his heart just might burst.


	19. Chapter 19

UML Chap 19

**Title**: Unlocking My Love

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings:** some bad language, slight sexual thoughts

Author's Note: Thank you to everyone for their patience.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, they belong to the creator of 'Gravitation'.

-oOo-

Chapter 19

Shuichi let out a deep sigh and let his head fall to the table before him, managing to avoid his bottle of water more by good fortune than intent.

He couldn't believe how bad his luck had been lately. His life was completely ill-omened he was sure. He should have thought things through more clearly when he first had chosen the name for the band. How he now wished he'd named them something different, like 'Good Luck', or 'I Want To See Yuki', or anything else!

It had been more than a week since he had last seen Yuki. Oh, they had had some contact nearly every day with phone calls but even that had been forced to be short, and quite often more a case of leaving messages on their respective answering services or a very brief text as Yuki liked doing neither. Yuki still hadn't changed in that respect so Shuichi really didn't expect anything more from him. He was just glad that he got any response from him, even if it was only one word at times! Still it wasn't the same as actually having a proper conversation in any way, and certainly not being able to see each other face to face.

He sighed again and drew random patterns in the pool of condensation on the tabletop with a finger.

It wasn't that he was trying to avoid Yuki after their last evening together, although he had to admit that he was still more than a little nervous about facing him after what he'd said. He felt his face heat as he remembered those words. Had he really said that? There was absolutely no way Yuki could interpret it in any other way except a promise to stay over! He cheeks continued to heat and he buried his face in his crossed arms with a groan. What on earth had compelled him to say that?!

That was an entirely rhetorical question. He knew exactly what had made him say it. The feelings that had been building all that evening as they had eaten and talked together; the way they had worked together cleaning up afterwards, and playing computer games. That comfortable, easy feeling had kept growing, a feeling that kept saying that that was where he belonged. He could remember that feeling, even from before. Okay, he knew their relationship prior had been pretty rocky, especially at the beginning but they had got through that and finally reached a point where they could share those other moments together. He remembered that, and a part of him wanted that again.

By the time they had said goodnight those feelings were almost overwhelming and it had taken all his strength to walk to the door. When Yuki had leant down for that hesitant kiss the desire to taste his lips was too much and Shuichi had taken the initiative.

It was far sweeter than he had thought it would be; that warmth pressed against his lips. Although it was familiar, it still seemed so new, and thus so much more exciting and desirable. That warmth had permeated every part of his body, slowly creeping down his limbs, filling him with a need for more.

After that first taste he hadn't been satisfied, in fact it had only whetted his appetite so to speak and he'd been sorry when Yuki had drawn away for he had found himself yearning to reach out and hold this man. He couldn't bear to go with only that single touch so before leaving he just had to taste it again.

He had seen the flash of surprise in Yuki's eyes as he had pulled him forward, a look which had amused him because it wasn't often he'd ever taken Yuki by surprise before. He had felt the brief caress of warm breath across his face before their lips had met once more. Yuki's parted lips had been too much of a temptation and he couldn't resist flicking his tongue forward, brushing against firm teeth and feeling the more heated warmth of the interior of Yuki's mouth. That had sent a jolt of fire through his body from head to toe and even now, sitting here just remembering it, made that heat pool almost uncomfortably in his groin.

Shuichi felt his face heat up again and groaned in slight despair. Now was not the time to be getting a hard-on! It's not like he could do anything about it!

He took a couple of deep breaths, trying to steady his internal emotions before lifting his head and resting his forehead in one hand, gazing out at nothing in particular.

He could try and wriggle out of this one all he liked but there was no getting around it. He was the one who had made the first move this time in indicating this relationship should go further, and he was the one who had made that promise. He couldn't back out of it now; that would truly be cowardly. But it was a hell of a big step also.

He scrubbed a hand across his eyes. So what should he do now? What should he say to Yuki next time he sees him? How should he behave? Should they immediately kiss next time they see each other? Was that what Yuki would expect after what he had said? Just what would Yuki be expecting of him?

He felt a shiver run down his spine as he thought of something else.

It was more than likely that Yuki expected them to have sex now, after he said it like that. There was no way that he couldn't think that. It's not like Shuichi left very much to misinterpretation in what he had said. But he wasn't really sure he wanted that yet. He wouldn't mind staying over at Yuki's and being able to spend more time with the man, but sex? That still held a bit of uncertainty. It's not that he hadn't thought about it. The tightness in his trousers right this minute could attest to that, and how he felt about it. But still, he wasn't really certain that he just wanted to leap right into it.

How would Yuki want it, he wondered. He knew that Yuki could get pretty passionate, even a little rough at times. It had sort of been okay before, but he wasn't so sure that he wanted it like that now. At least not for their first time. Okay, technically it wouldn't be their 'first' time but it seemed like it! Should he just let Yuki do it the way that he liked first up and then they move on from that?

Argh! He rubbed both hands furiously through his hair as though trying to erase the thoughts in his mind. That wasn't right! He could hardly simply say, 'Let's have sex and get this over with', could he?! Besides he didn't want their first time to be nothing but the act. Damn it, he wanted more!

"So what's up with you?" A voice made him focus on his surroundings again and he saw Hiro sitting across from him. "You've been making weird faces for a while now. Are you feeling sick?"

"Nah," Shuichi answered glumly, not having even heard Hiro come in, let alone sit opposite. He'd obviously been more lost in his thoughts than he had realised.

"Hmm," Hiro mumbled in reply as he bit into the riceball in his hand. "So it must be Yuki then."

Shuichi frowned at him. "Why does it always have to be about that guy?"

"Because you haven't seen him for over a week and you've been getting more and more depressed. The only times you cheer up is when you've had some contact with him on the phone." Hiro chewed some more and swallowed. "You're pretty easy to read, you know."

"Fine," Shuichi said waspishly. "I'm depressed because I haven't seen Yuki. Satisfied?" He picked up his water bottle and drank.

"Well, at least you've finally admitted it." Hiro took another bite and chewed. "So have you fucked him yet?"

Shuichi splurted water out in a fountain, liberally spraying his friend sitting opposite, as he choked and coughed.

Hiro just sat there for a moment, water droplets running down his face and dripping from his hair. Slowly he put his unfinished riceball down before reaching up, carefully wiping his face clear.

"Why you…!" He suddenly reached over and grabbed the corners of Shuichi's mouth and stretched, glaring at him. "You dirty little…"

"Ah's ooor aul!!" Shuichi tried to yell out with his face distorted and lips unable to form the words correctly.

"It seems impossible to even have a quiet lunch with you two present." Suguru said with some exasperation as he sat at the other end of the table.

Hiro released the hapless Shuichi and brushed back his still damp hair. "Talk to the fire hydrant here about that." he replied.

"Hey, I didn't mean it!" Shuichi defended himself, glaring at Hiro as he rubbed his sore cheeks. "How did you expect me to react to that?!"

"What?" Suguru asked, biting into the sandwich he held.

Shuichi just blushed and didn't answer so Hiro spoke up. "I just asked him if he and Yuki had fucked yet."

A plethora of coughing met his statement as Suguru's face began to turn red, then purple.

"I think he's choking," Shuichi said, gazing in some amazement at the colour changes on Surugu's face.

"Yeah, I think you're right," Hiro agreed as he swiftly went round behind Suguru and thumped the bent back expertly three times, almost plastering his bandmate onto the top of the table. However the wheezing and coughing ceased and soon only tired gasps issued from the slumped form.

"Hey, you okay?" Hiro asked, concerned, leaning down so he was eye level to Suguru's face resting on the table.

Suguru's eyes seemed glazed for a moment and then snapped back into focus in the form of a glare. "I…" he managed to wheeze, "will get you for that."

Hiro shrugged, grinning. "I didn't realize it would get such an enthusiastic response from the two of you." He turned and made his way back to his seat, picked up his riceball and eyed it with distaste at the moisture that dripped from it before turning and throwing it into the bin. "You owe me lunch," he said to Shuichi, sitting down.

"Like hell," Shuichi replied. "It's your own fault for coming out with something like that just out of the blue. Besides, it's none of your business!"

"So you haven't yet."

"How do you figure that?" Shuichi said indignantly. "For all you know we could be having a mad passionate affair at the moment."

"No," Suguru put in, taking a delicate sip of his water and clearing his throat. "If you were you would be telling us about it constantly and acting all lovey-dovey, not to mention be covered in hickeys."

This blunt assessment by his normally quiet and polite bandmate stunned Shuichi into silence.

"That's pretty accurate, I'd say," Hiro agreed, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. He grinned at Shuichi. "You always have been pretty easy to read when it comes to Yuki, and you just can't keep anything to yourself where he's concerned."

"Okay, so you both know nothing's going on. What's the problem?" Shuichi said a little grumpily.

"No problem," Hiro stated. "But why don't you go and see him?"

"I'd like to but in case you hadn't noticed we've been so damn busy that we haven't had time to scratch ourselves!" Shuichi said sarcastically.

"True, we have been rather occupied with things." Suguru agreed. "I hadn't expected the wrap up for our last tour to be this intense."

"Yeah, we must have held interviews for every major tabloid and magazine in the country." Hiro said a little tiredly, raking a hand through his long hair.

"Not to mention the radio and television stations," Suguru added.

Hiro nodded. "Both of which have actually had a number of daily slots to fill."

"Then there's been the photo shoots, the album signings, the impromptu concerts and signings at shopping centres and events, the list goes on." Suguru finished, ticking each item off on a finger.

"See?" Shuichi said dejectedly. "With all that, we've hardly had any spare time at all. On top of that, Yuki's been busy too."

"Oh?" Hiro asked with interest. "What's he been up to?"

"To be honest I don't know all the details. You know how Yuki is with his work, he's never told me that much about it all. His last book is being promoted still as there's talk of it possibly being made into a film and perhaps a television series due to his increasing popularity overseas so he's been heavily involved in talks to do with that. He had to head to Kyoto to meet with some people there."

"I didn't know he was all that well known outside of Japan," Hiro commented.

"I believe the sudden interest has come from his brief appearance in New York last year," Suguru put in. Hiro looked down the table towards him. "Apparently he held an unannounced book signing there and he made quite an impression."

Hiro raised an eyebrow in surprise. "I didn't think that was Yuki's sort of thing."

"I believe it was arranged by my cousin," Suguru stated evenly.

"Ah, well that explains it then," Hiro nodded sagely. He knew full well that what Tohma Seguchi wanted, Tohma Seguchi got and even Yuki Eiri had to jump to that man's tune at some stage.

Hiro turned back to Shuichi. "So apart from not seeing him, are things going okay between you two now?"

"Ye….ah," was Shuichi's slow reply.

"Now that hardly has the enthusiasm I was looking for," Hiro commented. "Don't tell me you're fighting again."

Shuichi shook his head. "No, nothing like that. It's just…" he paused, unable to go on. He just couldn't bring himself to talk to his friends about how he had indicated to Yuki that their relationship should go further. It was just too embarrassing.

"Hey, it's okay," Hiro said, reaching out and ruffling Shuichi's hair, smiling. "You don't have to tell us. We're just teasing."

"True," Suguru agreed, standing and dropping his rubbish into the bin. "I'm sure you'll do your best no matter what."

Shuichi smiled gratefully at them both. They were right. Despite what was going on he had to put on a smile and do his best, both for himself and for Yuki. This busy period wouldn't last forever and when it had quietened down, then he would be able to see Yuki again.

"Right then!" he exclaimed, standing abruptly, beaming at his friends. "Let's go out there and get them!"

"That's the spirit!" Hiro encouraged him as they made their way out the door.

"I've got some great ideas for our next photo shoot!" Shuichi said as they made their way down the corridor. "I think we should have an English nursery story or rhyme theme. You know, like The Three Little Pigs, or Three Blind Mice. I think that would be great. Hey," he turned to look over his shoulder at his friends following. "Tohma could be the Big Bad Wolf!"

"And you intend to actually suggest that to him?" Suguru said in a deadpan voice.

"Ah, you're probably right," Shuichi paused in his thoughts for a moment then clapped his hands together. "I know. We'll make it K! Yeah, he'll be perfect!"

"You're gonna be shot full of lead if you suggest that to him," Hiro warned his friend.

"No pain, no gain!" Shuichi airily exclaimed, too caught up in his quirky idea to pay heed.

"No brain, you mean," Hiro said, shaking his head at Shuichi's bizarre thoughts.

"No kidding," Suguru agreed, with a long suffering sigh, trailing along last.

-oOo-

Yuki sighed as he loosened the tie around his neck, pulling it almost violently undone and tossing it on the bed. Ah, finally he felt like he could breathe again! He wasn't used to wearing ties, although he always dressed smartly where business was concerned. However, this time Mizuki had strongly hinted that it might be best to do so. It didn't make him feel any better in seeing that she had been correct in suggestion so as everyone else present had so been attired. He still hated them.

His hand automatically went into his pocket and withdrew his cigarettes and lighter as he shrugged out of his jacket which soon joined the tie where it lay, before slumping into a chair. Damn he was tired, he thought, letting his head drop back for a moment.

He gazed up at the uninspiring ceiling of his hotel room. He could have opted to stay at his family home whilst in Kyoto but it was some distance from Kyoto city centre and he hadn't been thrilled about the idea of the lengthy commute he would have had to endure each day. Also the fact of having to deal with his father each day would only have made his already short temper far shorter. Although he had to admit that he got along better with his father now than he probably ever had, they would never share an entirely harmonious father-son relationship. That was just the way it was between them and he found he could live with that.

So here he was, spending the past week in this dingy hotel. Well, not quite dingy – it did have a five-star rating and everything and everyone was at his beck and call, but Yuki just did not want to be here.

It wasn't so much a problem with the reason for this visit to Kyoto. The idea that his book would be adapted to the screen, be it the big screen or for television, had honestly never occurred to him before. It was a tremendous opportunity to be sure, and a real feather in his cap no less. No only that, it opened up the possibility, depending on how well it did, for other of his books to be picked up also. Such things were the stuff dreams were made of. If it went like this he would be pretty set for life, or at least until interest waned in him. It would certainly take a bit of pressure off him for a while.

So, no, it wasn't that he was entirely disgruntled in this visit. He still hated having to go through these polite discussions and meetings, and they hadn't even got to the stage of real negotiations yet, but he could tolerate them when he had to. And this was certainly worth his while to put on a good face. No, what irked him about this trip was that he hadn't wanted to be away so suddenly from Tokyo. Or, to be more accurate, from Shuichi.

He raised a cigarette to his lips and lit it, inhaling deeply, before blowing the smoke out slowly. He didn't bother checking his phone. There had already been a message from Shuichi there not long before and he knew that he would be too busy to have sent another one just yet. Yuki had a pretty good understanding of what Shuichi's timetable could be like when he was at work.

That was one of the other reasons that he had agreed to this trip as readily as he had. He knew Mizuki had been surprised by his sudden capitulation when she had contacted him. Despite her only being recognized as his 'editor', she was actually more like his 'agent', always keeping an ear open for opportunities for him to promote his work. Whenever she heard anything of that nature she always brought it to his attention, gently, and sometimes not so gently, pushing him along the right paths. She really had done wonders for him. When she had first phoned, he could tell that she had been prepared to have to argue with him to go along with this trip. If Shuichi hadn't already contacted him two days prior to say that he was going to be extremely busy and most likely unable to meet for a while, leaving Yuki suddenly feeling rather bereft, he probably wouldn't have agreed so readily. Still, this trip gave him something to do, something else to focus on besides Shuichi and what he had said, so it was a way to fill in the time at least.

He stood and walked over to the sliding door, stepping out onto the balcony. He refused to acknowledge that he had run away from Tokyo. No, he had not run away at all. Why would he? He had no reason what-so-ever to do so.

He leant his elbows on the railing and let his cigarette dangle from his fingers. Okay, perhaps he had made a …strategic withdrawal for the time. It was just for a short time, that's all. What else could he have done? After Shuichi's surprise statement he was now at a complete loss as to what he should do next. If he had remained in Tokyo with nothing to occupy his mind he would send himself crazy. After just two days he had begun to feel that way.

Yuki growled to himself, one hand curling into a fist. Why was this so damn hard?! Finally Shuichi says the words that he'd been waiting to hear, and upon hearing them he runs away! How gods damn pathetic is that?!

He took another deep drag on his cigarette, seeking to calm his anger. He wasn't angry at Shuichi, he was angry at himself. Angry at his uncertainty and hesitation. He'd always been used to getting what he wanted. From the time he was sixteen he'd lived his life exactly as he wished. He'd taken what he wanted, when he wanted it. Whatever he'd wanted, he got. What didn't interest him, he ignored or discarded. There had never been any uncertainty, he'd never hesitated in gaining his desires or fulfilling his needs. He wasn't used to having to deal with these two unfamiliar emotions.

He ran a hand through his hair, closing his eyes for a moment to feel the breeze on his face. He truly didn't know what he should say when next he saw Shuichi. Should he mention what Shuichi had said that night? Should he ask him to explain exactly what he meant by it or would that make him look stupid? Would Shuichi think he was dense in having to ask for it to be spelt out to him? He hadn't been able to make himself ask that question over the phone, and it hardly seemed the right thing to raise in a text message.

But what if he had misinterpreted it? What if Shuichi hadn't meant that he thought he did? Could Shuichi really have meant that he wanted to stay the night? Did that mean sex?

Yuki's thoughts spun out of control for a moment as he envisioned a naked Shuichi, skin sleek with sweat, hair plastered to his brow, lips parted as moans of desire fell from them as he rode Yuki to climax. He swallowed hard against a suddenly dry throat. What he wouldn't give to see that sight again!

But what if that wasn't what Shuichi had in mind, he wondered, pushing aside his fantasies. Sex wasn't everything – but it fucking well came close to the top every time for him! But that didn't mean that Shuichi was like that. In fact, Yuki knew that wasn't the case for Shuichi. But what else could he have meant? Shuichi would hardly have said that because he wanted to play mahjong!

Yuki growled again and violently stubbed out the cigarette on the railing, flicking it out into the open air and watching it spiral downwards towards the ground. He meant, I meant, who meant…what? He was just running around in circles here!

He stomped back inside and headed for the coffee machine, swiftly filling it. As he listened to the bubbling and inhaled the heady aroma of the brewing drink he wondered what Shuichi was doing. Shuichi's brief messages had given him a pretty good indication of just how busy he was. Knowing Tohma, he was probably running them ragged at the moment, but Tohma wasn't stupid and he would know just how to pace this circus of his. He would push Bad Luck to their limit, but stop just before they were completely exhausted. Then they would have some time off to recuperate. That will probably be fairly soon. Which meant that was when he could see Shuichi again.

He poured himself a cup and sipped it carefully. In all, this sudden trip to Kyoto was probably the best thing. He needed to calm his thoughts a little so he had a clear head when next he saw Shuichi. Up till now, his thoughts had been a scrambled mess in trying to figure it out and worrying he would somehow make the wrong judgment and screw things up again. He would simply play it by ear, going along with whatever Shuichi indicated. He could hold himself back a little longer – no matter how hard it was.

-oOo-

Yuki stepped off the train and let himself be pushed along with the exiting crowd. He kept a firm grip on his bag and made his way to his desired exit, breathing deeply when he broke into the fresh air above. He pulled off to one side and gratefully lit up a cigarette, standing there for a moment to savour it.

Glancing at his watch he judged how much longer it would take him to reach his destination. Should he take the train and walk, or just get a cab and be done with it? Probably a cab was just as easy; traffic shouldn't be too bad at this time of the evening.

That decision being made, he finished the last of his cigarette, stubbing it out in the bin by his side and flagged a cab down, giving the address, and settling back for the ride.

It had now been over two weeks since he had last seen Shuichi and the number of times they had actually spoken verbally to each other over the phone he could count on one hand with fingers to spare and all in the first couple of weeks only. It hadn't stopped Shuichi sending him a number of text messages, to which he had replied, however terse they might have been. He really did hate that form of communication, although not quite as much as ringing and being forced to leave a voice message. Usually he just hung up without bothering but he had made the effort for Shuichi, knowing that the messages he left would sound rather stilted to anyone else but he hoped that Shuichi at least could read beyond the mere words.

For the most part their communications just kept each other informed as to their day to day activities, never delving into the realm of personal matters, which suited Yuki fine. The one time it had was when he had told Shuichi that he would be returning by a particular date and Shuichi had extended the invitation for Yuki to come over and he would cook for him. That had been a pleasant surprise and Yuki had readily accepted. He was a little concerned about what he was likely to be fed, although he knew that Shuichi's culinary skills had improved a little. Still, they could always order in if anything disastrous occurred.

He looked out the window of the cab to gauge where he was. They were making good time and should be there shortly. He chewed on his bottom lip, frowning. He hoped he was doing the right thing. He was actually a day earlier in returning than he had told Shuichi. He hadn't deliberately lied about his return date, it had simply worked out that way. He had completed all that he had to do for that day and it had been done far earlier than he had expected, courtesy of one of the film financiers who he was supposed to have dinner with that evening, coming down with food poisoning and unable to keep their appointment. After profuse apologies and assurances that everything that needed to be discussed had been, Yuki suddenly found himself at a loose end. So instead of hanging around in his hotel for another night and leaving the next day, he had checked out and caught the train back to Tokyo.

His initial thought had just been to get home, back to his comfortable apartment and his own soft bed, but on the journey back he had found his thoughts fixated on Shuichi. The last text from him had said that he was now free and that he intended to relax and enjoy himself. He had mentioned about wanting to spend time catching up with family and friends which was to be expected. Shuichi was still very close to his family but he hadn't said he had intended to go home just yet which meant that he was still most likely in Tokyo.

That was when Yuki realized that he desperately wanted to see him. In some ways he still didn't know what he was supposed to say when he did see Shuichi, not after their last evening together, but he no longer cared. He just wanted to see him!

During their separation he had found his thoughts turning more and more towards Shuichi. His thoughts were filled with desire and want, so much so that it frequently affected him physically and he was forced to hide his erection on more than one occasion, be it sitting or standing. His only solace had been his attempts to relieve this sexual frustration come evening, where in the darkness he could imagine it was Shuichi's hands on his body bringing him to climax. But no matter how often he did this, it still paled in comparison to his memories of the real thing. So he had been resolved that when he returned he would speak to Shuichi bluntly about this. He had to make the other man know the depth of his desire and try and find out if this is what Shuichi wanted also.

So here he was, sitting in a cab and heading for Shuichi's apartment. He hadn't contacted Shuichi directly to tell him of his plans. He could have phoned, but he was half afraid that if he did Shuichi would say that he was busy. He still could be, for all Yuki knew, but he still thought it would be better for him to turn up and find Shuichi not there, than to be rebuffed before he even got there. So all he had done was send a brief text to say he was on his way. But this was the night that he would kiss Shuichi breathless, filling him with all the desire that Yuki was holding inside, and then they would see where things went from there.

Just thinking about that made his pulse race, imagining the touch of Shuichi's warm skin under his hands, the silkiness of his hair sliding through his fingers, those soft lips pressed against his. The pressure in his pants increased and he groaned, closing his eyes and sliding one hand discreetly under his coat to cup the bulge at his crotch. He bit his lip as he lightly rubbed it, feeling it stiffen further, before he clenched it hard, hard enough to cause discomfort.

Enough, he snarled to himself, forcing his hand to reluctantly withdraw. What the hell was he doing?! He could hardly get himself off whilst sitting in a cab! Yet he couldn't help but wickedly think that he probably could get away with it. He wasn't generally very vocal and he could keep his face hidden easily from the driver's view by resting it in one hand as he was now. By keeping the other under his coat, it was safely hidden from sight also. With his level of excitement as it was at present it wouldn't take much to make him come so it would all be over quickly.

His hand inched back under his coat, brushing his still stiff erection, when he jerked it away and steadfastly crossed his arms. No, he wouldn't be as crass at that. For a start, if he came the driver would be sure to smell it. Secretions of sex had a particular aroma and there weren't too many adults who wouldn't recognise it. And apart from that how the hell could he turn up at Shuichi's door with such a compromising stain on the front of his trousers?!

The cab halted and he forced his desires down, gratefully feeling his erection flagging slightly, at least enough to not be so noticeable. He quickly paid the driver before exiting and hurrying up the stairs of the building before him. His fingers tapped against his leg in an agitated tempo as the lift rose, the doors swishing open as they reached the chosen floor. His steps echoed in the corridor as he strode past the other apartments, before pausing outside one.

He took a deep breath, and raised a hand to knock. There was no answer and he felt his spirits begin to drop. Damn it! Guess he wasn't home after all, he thought. Tohma had probably called them back for something to do with Bad Luck, or perhaps he already had left to stay with his family. What a waste this had been.

He was about to turn away when he sniffed. Turning back to the door he leant forward and sniffed again. He wasn't mistaken. The cooking smells were definitely coming from behind Shuichi's door. There was no way even Shuichi was that much of an idiot to leave stuff cooking and then going out. Perhaps he just didn't hear the knock?

Yuki reached out and knocked again, louder this time, rapping his knuckles hard against the wood. He waited a little impatiently but there were still no answering sounds and the door remained closed. He scowled now. What the hell..? He knew that Shuichi was home, he was sure of it! Was he deliberately avoiding him?!

He knocked again, almost thumping on the door with his closed fist, reaching down with his other hand to rattle the door knob, and was completely surprised when it turned easily in his hand. What the..?!

He opened the door and looked in. The lights were on, soft music was playing from somewhere in the apartment, and he had been completely correct in that there was something cooking as the aroma grew stronger. All the indications were there that someone was present in the apartment.

Yuki stepped forward, leaving the door open behind him for he was, after all, intruding in a way. It wouldn't have been polite to have closed the door as though he had been invited in. Still, he was irked at having to act this polite.

"Shuichi!" he called out, taking another few steps inside. "Hey!"

He heard the sound of running footsteps on the wooden flooring, light steps, swiftly drawing near. Finally he's coming! Yuki thought, stepping further into the hall and slipping out of his jacket. Politeness be damned, he thought. The moron had probably been lying on his bed with his earphones on and hadn't heard anything. He should at least lock the door properly if he was going to do that!

"You took long enough, you idi….." he said, turning to look up as the footsteps halted.

Yuki's words halted at the sight of the person who suddenly appeared around the corner, sliding to a surprised halt. The long hair was wet, testament of having just exited a shower, droplets still clinging to bare shoulders. A towel was clasped tightly around the slim body, arms and legs bare to view, one long fingered hand holding the ends together.

Yuki was frozen in place, unable to move, unable to even speak. His world seemed to darken, plunging him towards despair.

Before him, just as frozen in time, was Annette.


	20. Chapter 20

UML Chap 20

**Title**: Unlocking My Love

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings:** some bad language, slight sexual thoughts, masturbation

Author's Note: I had intended to post this chapter before heading off to China at the start of May but I finished it just before I left – meaning that the taxi was waiting at the door to go to the airport so I had no time to post, so unfortunately it has been waiting for my return. Now that I have arrived home here it is.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, apart from Annette; they belong to the creator of 'Gravitation'.

-o0o-

Chapter 20

This tableau held for a heartbeat longer then Annette let out a shrill shriek, turned and fled back down the passageway, her angry scream of "SHUUUUUU! You….!", then the slam of a door cut off the rest of her words.

"What?!" came an answering shout.

Yuki heard the sound of pounding feet again and this time Shuichi slid into view, fully clothed, hair tousled, breathing hard, earphones tangled around his neck.

His eyes widened as he stared at Yuki, then his face split into a broad smile.

"Yuki!" he cried out. "What are you doing here? I wasn't expecting you till tomorrow."

Before Yuki had a chance to respond in any way the smile fled from Shuichi's face as he turned to look back down the corridor where Annette had fled and one hand came up to slap his forehead.

"Ah, shoot!" he exclaimed. He waved a hand at Yuki. "Come in, come in. Make your self at home." He headed down the passage way. "I'll be back in a sec, okay?"

Yuki slowly turned, reaching out for the door and for a moment wondered if he should just walk through it and leave but his hand hesitated, trembling, before he pushed and closed the door firmly instead.

He leant down and picked up his coat where it had fallen to the floor and hung it carefully on the hook before stepping forward towards the sitting room. He could hear the sound of muted voices from down the corridor but could discern no words.

Sitting on the couch his thoughts were still spinning. What the hell was that girl doing here?!

"I'm so sorry, Yuki!" Shuichi suddenly reappeared. "You've managed to catch us all by surprise."

"Obviously," Yuki replied, bitterness underlying his words. He was beginning to wonder if he had interrupted some sort of tryst and he wasn't feeling very magnanimous.

Shuichi opened his mouth to say something when there came a loud knocking at the door. "Hold on," Shu said, turning to answer it.

"Hey, buddy!" Yuki heard Hiro's voice greeting Shuichi. "Man, that smells good! Guess you won't be poisoning us tonight!"

"Only you, my friend. Only you," was Shuichi's cheerful response.

Yuki turned his head to see Hiro solicitously taking Ayaka's coat and hanging it up next to his own. When he looked across and spotted Yuki, his eyes widened in surprise.

"When did you get back into town?" Hiro asked, stepping forward and heading straight for the other couch.

"Hello, Eiri," Ayaka greeted him politely with a shallow bow and a smile. "Shuichi hadn't mentioned that you would be joining us this evening."

"It hadn't been planned," Shuichi called out from the kitchen where he had gone to get drinks for everyone. "Yuki had said he'd be back tomorrow so I wasn't expecting him tonight."

"I sent you a message," Yuki grunted, feeling the pressure begin to build in his temples. Why did he feel as he was being blamed for something here?

"You did?" Shuichi queried, reaching for his phone on the counter.

The sound of further footsteps heralded the arrival of Annette, now dressed, hair tied back.

"Ah, good evening," she said hesitantly in formal speech.

"Hey," Hiro greeted her casually, whilst Ayaka's nod and soft 'hello' followed as she seated herself on the floor beside the other girl.

"So do you remember the old sour puss over there?" Hiro asked, nodding towards Yuki.

Annette glanced at Yuki and her face flushed as she answered. "Yes, I remember." She seemed to take a deep breath and lifted her head to look at him directly. "Hello, Yuki," she said. "How have you been?"

"Fine," he answered curtly.

"Don't mind him," Hiro reassured Annette. "He's like that with everyone."

Shuichi joined them just at that moment, placing drinks before them all, and gave Yuki an apologetic look. "I'm really sorry I missed your message. I had left the phone out here and hadn't heard it ring."

Annette glared at him. "You mean you knew he was coming over? Why didn't you tell me?!" she said indignantly.

Shuichi placed his hands together before him and bowed to her. "I really didn't see the message! Honest!" he apologized. "Forgive me!"

"Humph!" she sniffed, turning her head away and not looking at him.

"What's the problem?" Hiro wanted to know, looking between the two of them.

Shuichi lifted one hand and self consciously scratched the back of his head. "Uhm, Yuki sort of turned up unannounced and caught Annette just getting out of the shower," he explained.

"Oh my!' Ayaka exclaimed, one hand coming up to cover her mouth expressing her shock, a light flush of embarrassment on her cheeks.

"It wasn't like that!" Annette hurriedly tried to explain. "I had a towel on and it's not like he saw anything or was trying to do anything! I just heard someone call out and thought it was Shu so came out here and he was standing there instead!" She flushed again. "It was just a shock, that's all.''

"Ha!" Hiro crowed, slapping his knee. "Bet he was just as shocked seeing a naked woman in Shuichi's apartment, am I right?", looking over at Yuki with a wicked twinkle in his eye.

Yuki glared at him. "It wasn't quite what I was…expecting," he grated out, trying to keep it polite and biting back on the words that he really wanted to say.

Shuichi laughed also. "Yeah, it was probably a big shock for them both. You should have heard Annette scream! She sounded like a banshee!"

"That's not funny!" Annette fumed, tossing a cushion forcefully into Shuichi's face, catching him completely off guard.

"Hey!" Shuichi mock growled. "I'll get you for that!", and he pounced on Annette and proceed to pummel her with the cushion, although it was gently done.

Watching the two of them play-fighting, seeing the way Annette laughed and giggled at Shuichi pretending to be angry, made Yuki's insides crawl. Worse though was seeing the smile on Shuichi's face and the carefree manner that he was behaving which sent a stabbing pain directly through his heart. The two of them seemed so in tune with each other; anyone watching would have thought the same.

Completely unlike he and Shuichi.

"Enough you too, or we'll never get to eat," Hiro said, settling them both. "Which leads to the next question of when do we eat 'cause I'm famished."

Shuichi got up and reached a hand down to assist Annette to her feet also, then the two of them headed for the kitchen.

"Right now," he declared, pulling a pot from the stove whilst Annette set out bowls. "You had better appreciate it," Shuichi threatened. "I spent all day slaving over the stove to make this you know so I don't want to hear any complaints."

"Aw, isn't that sweet of you," Hiro said, smirking . "You shouldn't have, honey."

"Anything for you, darling," Shuichi simpered back, blowing Hiro a kiss. A light slap to the back of his head from Annette made him turn.

"Less talk and more work," she said, shaking a finger at him. "You're putting some of us off our food."

"Ah, you know I love you too," Shuichi grinned, leaning over and giving her a peck on the cheek.

"Yes, yes, just hurry up before it goes cold." She shooed him away impatiently and began to carry the dishes over to the others.

Yuki's fingers itched to light up a cigarette but he could hardly do so now that the food was served and there was little pause for ceremony before everyone fell to with eating. His insides continued to churn as he watched Ayaka serve Hiro, whilst Annette dropped various things onto the plate Shuichi held out. It was such a 'couple-y' thing to do that it made him feel nauseous. He hardly noticed when Ayaka filled his bowl also, just absently lifting it and beginning to eat. His entire focus was on Shuichi.

As the meal progressed Yuki began to feel almost invisible. In between eating he continued to drink. He hardly had to be concerned about the quantity as he wasn't driving, but even if he had driven his current state of mind would have made him drink like this anyway. All he could do was sit there and watch the interactions with the people before him. He barely cast a glance towards Ayaka and Hiro, not even when Hiro draped an arm casually around Ayaka's shoulders. No, what held his attention was Shuichi and Annette. Every word, every action that passed between them Yuki scrutinized intently, and his depression increased.

Between the two of them, with interjections from Hiro and the odd quiet word from Ayaka, the conversation seemed a continuous flow that washed around and over Yuki. He barely joined in, answering the odd question tossed his way with little more than a monosyllable before taking another drink. Every time Shuichi smiled over at him his chest tightened further, for after each such moment he would then return his attention to Annette.

Yuki stood and made his way to the kitchen, tipping the beer can up one last time to drain the final dregs before dropping it in the bin. He contemplated getting another when he felt that someone was behind him and turned to see Annette standing there, holding some of the empty dishes. He moved to one side and she continued on to place them in the sink.

"How much," she suddenly said, making him stop, back to her, "do you really like Shu?"

Yuki couldn't turn to face her as he ground his teeth in growing irritation. What right did she have to ask him such a question?!

"Shu told me about you two," she continued, as though she hadn't expected him to answer. "I mean, about how you two were before."

She came into his line of sight, placing herself in front of him, her face serious. "Do you really love Shu?" she asked bluntly. "Or is it all just a sham like we thought it was? I don't know what Shu was like before, or what his life was like back then, but I do know what he's like now." She crossed her arms defiantly. "I won't let you hurt him."

Yuki stared down at the girl, feeling like claws were raking down the inside of his skull as her words jabbed through him. Did he love Shuichi? Of course he fucking loved him! Why else would he have done all this? Why else would he have endured these gut-wrenching emotions and been led around by the nose?! He loved the fucking idiot so much it was killing him!

But he didn't say any of that to Annette, remaining silent.

Annette lifted her chin stubbornly and glared at him. "Fine then. Just remember you can't just think to take what you want when ever you please," and she turned away and returned to the others.

Yuki stood there a moment longer, darkness swirling around him, filling his vision. Had the little bitch had just warned him off? He was sure she had. She had just challenged him for Shuichi! He hadn't thought she was the type to do that but what else could she have meant? Hell, it was just the sort of thing that Tohma would have done!

His jaw began to ache painfully from clenching it so tightly and he could feel his chest rising and falling rapidly as he tried to control his racing breath. That's it! He wasn't staying here a moment longer watching everyone play 'Happy Families', deliberately rubbing his nose in it.

He turned and headed for the door.

"I'm going," he said curtly, not even bothering to stop and say his good-byes any more politely.

"Sure," Hiro called out. "See you 'round."

"Good-bye, Eiri," was Ayaka's quiet response.

"Hey, Yuki!" and he could hear Shuichi run closer as he lifted his coat from the hook and slipped it on. "Are you going already?"

He turned to see Shuichi looking up at him with a small frown. He bit back on the sharp retort he was tempted to make, instead just nodding sharply. "Yes," he said, turning and reaching for the door handle.

"Well, will you be coming round tomorrow night like we'd arranged?" Shuichi reaching out as though to touch him and Yuki quickly stepped out of range.

"I'll be busy," he replied, lying.

"Oh," It was only his imagination that Shuichi sounded a little crestfallen. "Well, I'll call you so we can sort something else out, okay?"

"Fine. See you," and Yuki stepped through the door and set off briskly down the corridor, not looking back.

-oOo-

Shuichi lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, still unable to sleep.

This evening had been turned out to be full of surprises.

He hadn't expected Yuki tonight, knowing that he was originally not returning until tomorrow so it had been an added bonus that he had come over. When he had first seen Yuki standing there in the hall, his heartbeat had begun to race so fast he thought it was trying to run up his throat and choke him with pleasure!

Shuichi ran a hand through his hair, brushing the stands back from his eyes as he continued to look upwards.

He was very glad now that Yuki had come though since he said they couldn't have their dinner date tomorrow night as originally planned.

Whilst Yuki had been away he had tentatively suggested dinner, not really knowing if he was being pushy or how Yuki would react. He had even told Yuki that he would do the cooking as it was a special occasion. He'd practically held his breath until Yuki's monosyllable text of acceptance had come back.

Immediately he'd begun making plans and preparations, agonising over every single thing. It had taken him two days of intense thought and pouring over recipe books to determine what he might cook, as well as further research on the internet, and badgering his mother and Maiko over the phone for suggestions also. They had both expressed surprise and disbelief at first but then had been more than happy to give him some hints which he was extremely grateful for. His culinary skills may have improved a little from his time living in North America but he was still far from being as skilled as Yuki was.

That was what he was worrying about the most. He wanted to impress Yuki, but choosing to do so through cooking was probably the most difficult thing for him to have chosen. However he wanted to show Yuki that he could do it, and show him that he didn't mind making the effort for him. He still worried though because he wanted to make certain that it all went perfectly for his night with Yuki and there were so many things that could go wrong, so he had been working like a whirlwind on a permanent adrenalin high very since that moment.

That was why he had arranged tonight's dinner party. It was to have actually been a trial run for his dinner date with Yuki and he had bullied Hiro into agreeing to be his guinea pig as a taste-tester. Ayaka had willingly come as moral support for her boyfriend, willing to risk it also.

He had begun preparing the meal first thing that morning, not knowing how long it would take him. The last thing he wanted to have happen would be for Yuki to arrive for dinner and leaving him waiting for hours because he had mistimed things. He had laid out all the recipes carefully, ensuring they were all firmly anchored down so no sudden gust of wind could disturb then. Next all the ingredients were gathered from the refrigerator and cupboards, painstakingly checked off against the corresponding list and neatly grouped together with its corresponding recipe.

Then, washing his hands and taking a deep breath, he reached for the first pile and began. Annette had offered to help but he had refused, shooing her out of the kitchen although allowing her to sit and watch as he continued. He wanted to know that he could do this all on his own, so he could do this just for Yuki. However, he was willing to accept the few suggestions Annette offered to him as he continued, sometimes pausing to write an additional note on one of the recipes as a reminder to himself when he repeated this tomorrow night.

He practically sweated whilst he did this; not because it was hot, but because he felt so nervous. He had to laugh at himself reacting like this. He could face a stadium of thousands but trying to cook one meal was making him shake!

He was very glad of Annette's company during this time as she kept up a comfortable light chatter whilst he cooked, occasionally getting up and changing the music playing in the background. He had soon realised that she was doing it deliberately. She wasn't exceptionally musical herself but she did enjoy music, and she tried to match the music as best she could to what Shuichi was doing. So when he was busy doing a lot of dicing she chose a song with a rapid back beat and he soon found himself matching his strokes to the beat. When he was slowly stirring a simmering pot, carefully watching it so it wouldn't boil over, she chose a slow mellow tune.

He found that he began to relax a little due to this and actually begin to enjoy the cooking, not stressing so much. He had caught Annette grinning at him as he had pull himself up short when he realised he had just been waving the spoon he'd been holding like a baton and subsequently splattered the kitchen bench and floor with the liquid clinging to it.

When the meal was finally almost complete, he had breathed a huge sigh of relief and grinned as Annette had applauded him. He gave a flourishing bow in reply and laughed out loud, throwing his arms up in a bone-snapping stretch and closed his eyes briefly for a moment. Now all that was left was to see how it actually tasted.

He had therefore been a little sorry in one way that Yuki had arrived back early because he had wanted to be certain the meal was edible before presenting it to him. Unfortunately that's not the way it worked out and so Yuki had been subjected to the food, completely untried. However it appeared to have been a success. Yuki had eaten it with no complaint, Ayaka had complimented him which meant a great deal as she was also an exceptional cook, and no-one had made a sudden dash for the bathroom to throw up. All in all, those were good signs.

Shuichi rolled over onto his side, pulling the quilt around him a little tighter. As much as this evening had been great – good food, good company – he still wished that Yuki hadn't been there. If Yuki had returned tomorrow as planned, they could have had a quiet dinner, just for the two of them. They could have talked, he would have heart Yuki praise him for his cooking. They could have had a few drinks; perhaps...

His thoughts trailed off as he felt his body grow hot. He hadn't been able to stop thinking about the kiss he had shared with Yuki before he had left and had been half-hoping that there would be the opportunity to do so again. And even, perhaps, a little more?

He groaned as he pulled the pillow over his head. Damn it, he had been looking forward to that almost as much as anything else! He squirmed at the stiffness building in his groin. Shit, he didn't want to have to do this again.

Giving into need he slipped a hand beneath the covers. Eyes closed as his hand wrapped around his erection. The image of Yuki's face easily came to him; the remembered feel of his lips, his hot breath caressing his face. It only took moments before he stiffened, swallowing his cry and feeling the pulsing stickiness on his hand.

Shuichi sighed as he breathed deeply for a moment after then withdrew his hand. He fumbled around for his tissues and wiped himself down, grimacing a little. He didn't want to go the bathroom and risk disturbing Annette in the next room. For some reason he felt embarrassed to have her see him in this state. Strange really when they had lived together before and had even been intimate so it wasn't like she wasn't quite aware of his bodily functions. However now it was different, and this was not something to be sharing so openly with her any longer.

Since breaking up with her they had still needed to be in touch. Initially it was so he could finalise such things as what to do with his things over there, his jobs, and various other everyday tasks, including closing of bank accounts and the like. Annette had helped him do as much as possible and so they had spoken on the phone any number of times at the beginning. Once that had all been settled, they had continued to remain in touch, although it was usually only through the odd email or text message now, phone calls having dwindled. He guessed at one time they would lose touch completely, probably when she got another boyfriend but he hadn't wanted that yet. She was still a very important person to him and he owed her a great deal.

So when he had heard from her that her family were coming to Japan to visit relatives he'd been delighted. He was excited that he would now have the opportunity to share some of Japan with her and show her his home and everything he was doing. It wasn't the same trying to describe it through an email. It was also his way of repaying her for the time she had supported him in Canada.

And, if he was completely honest, it also gave him a chance to show off a little to her. Her discovery about his position as lead singer in Bad Luck had been sudden, and then he had left almost immediately after to return to Japan. He wanted to show her now that it really was the case and just how good Bad Luck was. He could admit that he was a little vain like that, but he felt proud of the band and their success and couldn't see anything wrong in showing people that. So he really did want Annette to see him at his best. She had always been his biggest supporter about his music when they lived together, and he wanted to show her that now he had returned home he was doing well and he was as good as she had thought he was.

Since her arrival a week ago he hadn't changed his mind about any of that. It had been nice to have her here as he hadn't had many visitors up till now so it was kind of fun to have a second person around the place. When he had to be busy there had also been plenty of people who had offered to show her around. Hiro and Suguru had both helped out, and she had met Ayaka on the second day after her arrival and the two girls seemed to get along. Even K and Sakano had assisted, although Annette had whispered to him in a shaking voice that she would rather not be with K on her own as she found him a little….scary. Shuichi couldn't blame her in that. He thought K was scary too – even after this many years!

What he had also really enjoyed was having her there to talk to. He still felt comfortable in her presence, and had poured out his confused thoughts about Yuki and their slowly developing, he hoped, relationship. It had been almost a relief to be able to speak about it with someone who was completely outside the situation and who hadn't known what it was like between them before. Annette had listened quietly, letting him spill everything out in a rush, only ducking occasionally to miss a wildly waved arm when he became too emotional, not trying to interrupt him until he had it all out of his system and had calmed down. Until the next time. Yes, he had really appreciated that quiet support from her and he always felt much calmly after having spoken with her and clearer in his mind. It was actually from being able to do this during the past week whilst Yuki was away that had helped him truly put his thoughts in order and come closer to understanding his own muddled feelings where Yuki was concerned.

He scrubbed a hand over his eyes, feeling them begin to droop closed as sleep stole upon him. He yawned widely and snuggled a little deeper into the soft quilt. He would call Yuki tomorrow and see how soon they could reschedule their date because he really, really wanted to see Yuki as soon as possible.

-o0o-

"I wish I was more like you," Annette said enviously, watching Ayaka gracefully glide across the floor in her kimono.

Ayaka had invited her at last night's dinner to come to Kyoto and stay with her for a couple of days and Annette had jumped at the opportunity to do so. She had arrived early this morning and Ayaka had immediately assisted her into a traditional kimono, carefully smoothing the folds of material as each layer was carefully draped around Annette's form. Annette had stood silent through these preparations, amazed at how complex, and yet simple, it was and the touch of the cool silk on her skin was delightful. When it was complete she had stared at her reflection, hardly able to believe that it was truly herself she was seeing and amazed at how different she looked just from this apparel.

Now the two girls were in the small tearoom, set at the back of the main house. The burbling sound of running water drifted inside, as did the steady knock of the bamboo fountain.

Ayaka looked surprised as she knelt opposite the other girl. "Why?" she asked, smoothing the silk over her knees.

"Because you're so elegant," Annette replied, "Everything you do is just so….perfect."

"Hardly that," Ayaka said demurely.

"But it is," Annette insisted, leaning forward then remembering herself and returning to her upright position. Her back was beginning to ache from holding this unaccustomed pose and her legs had gone numb some time ago.

"I mean, I couldn't be like this," Annette continued. "I have no elegance at all. I slump and slouch and love putting my feet up on the couch. If I tried to make a flower arrangement I would just end up sticking it all together because I would run out of patience."

Ayaka had already demonstrated her skill in ikebana, the Japanese art of flower arrangement. Annette had just stared as she had taken nothing more than a few dead, twisted twigs, four flowers of various sizes and produced a startling aesthetic vision of austere purity.

She sighed. "I really wish I could be more like you."

"But you have so much freedom," Ayaka said, looking directly at Annette. "You have no hesitation in speaking your mind and saying what you think and feel so there can be no mistaking what you want." She cast her eyes down. "I'm always worrying I will offend someone, or say the wrong thing and shame myself. I really wish I had your confidence to actually stand up for myself more."

"But you do; at least when it matters." Annette said, reaching down and picking up the bowl of tea. They had now dispensed with the full formalities of the tea ceremony and were just enjoying a simple drink. "After all you defied your family to get engaged to Hiro."

Ayaka blushed and turned her head a little to one side as though trying to hide her burning cheeks. "Well perhaps, but if Eiri hadn't pushed me to do so I probably wouldn't have even gone out with him." she said softly.

"Didn't you like him then?" Annette let her cup pause halfway to her mouth.

Ayaka blushed harder, reaching up a hand to hide her face from view. "Yes. Very much." she admitted very quietly. "But I was still officially engaged to Eiri. It was very wrong of me to have begun to have feelings to someone else."

"But you can't stop who you love," Annette said. "And besides didn't you say Yuki was already with Shuichi? If he wasn't really abiding by this arranged engagement thing, why should you?"

Ayaka looked down at her hands. "My family was very traditional and so I was brought up in that way. I wouldn't have dreamed of going against them."

"But when you met Hiro you did," Annette said, sipping the tea. "So since you did like him then surely you would have done something eventually."

Ayaka shook her head. "Most likely not," she said, gaining a little decorum once more. "I was so used to obeying my family's wishes that I never even thought about trying to be attached to Hiro in that way. I still had feelings for Eiri although I admit they were more of a young girl's dreams of meeting her 'Prince Charming'."

Annette successfully muffled her burst of surprised laughter. Thinking of Yuki as a 'Prince Charming' was just….wrong. He may have a pretty face but there was nothing 'charming' about his disposition that she had seen!

"And now?" Annette asked instead.

Ayaka blushed again but didn't hide her face this time. "Now? I can't imagine my life without Hiro by my side but I still don't know if I would ever have had the courage to act entirely on my own."

"I think you would have." Annette said firmly. "You two love each other too much for you not to be together. You make a great couple." Annette sighed. "He seems such a nice guy. You're so lucky." She tried not to sound jealous.

"You think so?" Ayaka questioned, seeking reassurance.

Annette nodded firmly. "Absolutely."

Ayaka withdrew a kerchief from the fold of her kimono and twisted it nervously in her hands. "I worry so sometimes that I'm not really suited to be the wife," and she blushed again, "of a famous star like him."

"Don't be silly," Annette said firmly. "It's not like there's some sort of job description that you have to match to marry him."

"But he lives in such a different world to what I do."

"So? That just means that the two of you have lots of different things to do together. You know," and Annette shuffled closer to her new friend. "the only times I've seen Hiro fully relax is around you." Ayaka looked back with wide eyes. "I mean it. Remember I met him in Canada without you and again here and it's only with you that he gets this," She waved her hand a little, searching for a word to describe what she wanted to express, "sense of peace." She nodded. "Yes, that's it. Peace. It's like he can just completely forget about everything and be just himself with no worries, and he's only like that with you."

"But what about when he's with Shuichi?" Ayaka said. "They've been friends for so long and Hiro loves being with him."

Annette eyed her for a moment. "Are you jealous of Shu?" she asked bluntly.

Ayaka flushed and dropped her head fully, bringing both hands up to bury her face into them. "I know it's horrible of me!" she cried pitifully. "And I know how wrong it is for me to feel like that, but when he's with Shuichi I just feel that it's a part of him I won't ever be able to share and I'm always worrying that one day he will chose Shuichi over me and I will lose him!"

"Well, I guess that is true in a way," Annette said slowly. "But Hiro has chosen to be with you so Shuichi isn't the only person important to him. We all can have different people in our lives who we care about and don't want to lose. And we can love them all, just in different ways."

Annette reached out and gently drew Ayaka's hands away from her face. "No matter what relationship Hiro has with Shuichi or anyone else, he shares another part with you, and that's the part that he wants to spend the rest of his life with."

She reached out and wiped away the single tear that was clinging to Ayaka's lashes. "There's no doubt at all how much Hiro loves you. It's there in his face every time he looks at you, it shines in his eyes, reflects in his smile. When Hiro's with Shu he's really happy, they're best friends after all, but when he's with you he looks like he feels completely safe and secure and can relax fully, and just be… him."

Annette grinned a little self-consciously. "I'm not sure any of that made sense."

Ayaka reached out and grasped Annette's hand tightly, smiling a little shakily. "It did. Truly, it did. Thank you."

She reached up now and wiped her face, erasing all signs of her earlier distress, taking a long deep breath and exhaling slowly before smiling again at Annette.

"I feel very silly now even thinking of such things about Shuichi. And I apologise for burdening you with such talk."

"Don't be sorry, and it's not silly at all," Annette waved the apology aside, then sighed, her own features saddening. "It's sort of like me."

"You?" Ayaka asked, head tilting to one side, a small frown appearing.

"It's a bit like how I feel about Yuki," Annette admitted in a small voice. "Although the difference is that I know for certain that I've lost." She turned her head away. "Doesn't make it any easier though," she murmured.

"Why do you feel jealous of Eiri?" Ayaka queried.

"Because he took Shu away!" Annette exclaimed, holding a hand up to cover her face. "We were happy before and then he turned up and Shu left!"

Ayaka could see the other girl's shoulders shaking.

"I hadn't intended coming here," Annette admitted, her voice still slightly muffled by her hand.

There was a long pause and then she dropped her hand back into her lap, a resigned expression on her face. "When Shu called to break up I wasn't really surprised," she said, her voice even. "Hurt, sure, but not surprised. Even if I hadn't realized it was about Yuki I just felt that when he left for Japan that he wouldn't be coming back. It had seemed as though every new part of his past life slowly drew him further and further away from me, and I couldn't do anything. It was so hard to just watch it happen and not know how to stop it!"

Annette reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind her hair and Ayaka could see her hand was trembling as she continued to speak, "Still, even though we were officially over, we sort of kept in touch. There were a lot of things that needed to be arranged and sorted out with him leaving so suddenly. I had to pack up his gear and help him sort things out with his jobs and stuff so it kept me pretty busy for a while and we had to speak fairly regularly about it all. Although it was nice to still be able to hear his voice, at the same time it hurt so much."

"Did you stay in the apartment you shared?" Ayaka asked softly.

"Yes," Annette nodded. "I didn't really want to but it was so conveniently located and it would have been really hard to find somewhere else. I was going to move back to my parents but I would have had to move to another university and I didn't want to do that. Luckily a friend wanted to share so she moved in not too long after which has been really good."

Annette gave Ayaka a crooked smile. "I felt pretty lonely living there on my own," she admitted. "It's not until someone leaves that you realise just how much space they actually take up in your life. When Shu left the place seemed so….empty."

"So why did you come to Japan?" Ayaka wanted to know. "Surely it would be even more painful for you."

"I knew that," Annette said, "but I couldn't stop myself. I mean, I wasn't going to come. All I did was mention in passing in an email to Shu that my parents were coming over to do the family thing. I was going to do a part-time job in my break from university and thought it would be a little dull having to spend all my time only with relatives. It wasn't like it was a real holiday or anything. So I hadn't even said that I was coming, just my parents.

Next thing Shu's talking about me being here and doing stuff and showing me around places. He just assumed that I was coming with them, and that they wouldn't mind if I stayed with him for a while. I tried to refuse and tell him I wasn't but…I couldn't seem to do it." She looked at Ayaka. "I… wanted to see him again."

She took a deep breath. "Of course when I got here he told me all about Yuki. I was pretty surprised. I mean, I know we'd read all the articles and seen those pictures but even Shu back then thought it was all just a gimmick. I had no idea that they were all real."

Ayaka saw how bright Annette's eyes began to be, obviously from unshed tears. "It was so hard to listen to Shu talking about Yuki all the time! You say you're jealous of Shu. I'm not just jealous, I hated Yuki!" She dropped her head and her hands clenched into fists on her knees. "So what does that make me?!"

"Human," Ayaka said calmly, reaching across and lightly touching the back of Annette's hand. "It's not wrong to want to hold onto your love for Shu. Do you still hate Yuki?"

Annette sighed softly, straightening up a little. "No, no, I don't. I can't say whether I like him, but the way Shu's eyes light up when he talks about him and the way he acts around him, I can't help but want him to be happy like that always."

"Then there's nothing wrong with you. You want only what is best for Shu," Warmth infused Ayaka's soft voice. "You're still allowed to feel hurt and sorrowful for losing something that was dear to you." She met Annette's gaze. "I'm sure you will find someone else in the future who will be the one for you, despite how you might feel now."

"You think so?" Annette said with a low chuckle, rubbing at her eyes.

"Of course," Ayaka assured her. "Look at Hiro and I."

Annette laughed properly at that and took a deep breath, collecting herself. "Yeah. Stranger things have happened, huh?"

"You never know," Ayaka returned the smile. "Are you all right now?"

"Yeah," Annette met her smile. "I'll be fine. Thanks."

"You're welcome." Ayaka replied with a bow.

"However I've got something really serious to ask you." Annette said suddenly.

"Anything," Ayaka declared stoutly. "Anything at all."

"Well," and now Annette looked quite embarrassed, her cheeks flaming. "Could you help me up? I can't move my legs and I've got to pee real bad."

-o0o-

Yuki stared at the flashing cursor, the light from the laptop screen illuminating his face in the darkened room. The last ash fell from the cigarette resting on the edge of the ashtray, having burnt down to the filter without being touched. He rested his chin on the back of his clasped hands as he stared at the blank screen before him. Annette's words echoed in his mind, retuning again and again to haunt him as they had done all day.

He had woken late that morning, head pounding and feeling like it was filled with cotton wool. He'd been in a foul mood by the time he had arrived home last night and had drowned his sorrows in the bottom of a bottle, before falling into his bed half dressed.

Now, since midday he'd been sitting in his study, supposedly to work, and succeeded in nothing. Was she right?, he wondered for the umpteenth time. Could he not have Shuichi?

He clenched his jaw in anger. Still he wasn't prepared to give him up again either. But perhaps he wasn't going about it the right way. Perhaps he had to show Shuichi that things would be different this time.

He'd seen how relaxed and comfortable Shuichi had been with Annette. Perhaps he needed to show him that he could be like that with Yuki also. Maybe that was it. Maybe Shuichi couldn't see any difference in him from how it had been before.

Since retuning to Japan Shuichi's career had grown in leaps and bound. His face, and the rest of Bad Luck, adorned posters that were plastered around Tokyo, and elsewhere, some standing two stories high. They were the talk of the town, on the top of the charts and even the English version of Twisting Vines, their last single, had reached the top ten in the USA on its release.

Bad Luck had grown up and now wore a far edgier, mature appearance. Leather, bare skin, fake tattoos, and piercings gave them an air of danger that fans, both old and new, liked very well. Their music also now had a darker, grittier touch to it that hadn't been there before, although they still mixed a smattering of the lighter pop music that they had begun with. In all, Shuichi's life had changed quite dramatically and grown in a very short time.

So what had Yuki been doing in this time? Nothing. He had remained the same; doing the same thing, stubbornly refusing to take any chances or consider new possibilities or change of any sort. He was doing nothing, except sit here and stagnate.

He continued to stare ahead at nothing, turning his gaze internally.

Perhaps that was the problem. Everyone else, including Shuichi, had moved on and he still remained where he had been, unchanging. If Shuichi had surpassed him already, and he had noticed that Yuki hadn't, perhaps he didn't think that Yuki wanted to change anything. That might be the reason then. Might Shuichi be thinking that if Yuki can't be bothered making any sort of changes or growth in his life in regards to anything else, then how could he believe that Yuki would act any differently in their relationship? For a relationship to survive it has to be able to change and grow, otherwise it just withers and dies. If Yuki couldn't show that he was able to change and grow, perhaps Shuichi didn't think he could.

Something seemed to finally click into place in Yuki's mind, bringing it finally to a halt and stopping the perpetual circular thoughts that had plagued him all day. Making a decision at last he picked up his cell phone and hit the desired speed dial.

As it was ringing he strode out to the hall, grabbing his jacket from the back of the couch. The call was answered as he slipped one arm in.

"Hello?"

"Call those idiots in New York and tell them I'm coming," he said, slipping on his shoes and grabbing his keys.

"Yuki?" Mizuki's confused voice said, "You mean now?"

"Yes now!" he snapped. "Get things organized and we leave tonight."

"We? Who?"

"You're coming with me."

"Yuki," Mizuki's patient voice began to explain, "You know I can't possibly come with you. I have a family to look after."

"Bring the brat with you," Yuki said, walking out his door and making his way downstairs.

Mizuki's husband had walked out on her the year before, leaving her to raise their child on her own. Her divorce had finally gone through but she received little assistance from her ex-husband. Unfortunately, with her parents living far in the north, she had little other support to call on during this time and yet still managed to juggle her busy work schedule and raise her now two year old son. Yuki secretly admired her for the incredible strength and drive she showed, especially as she was older than him. Not that he would actually ever tell her that. Still he was fully aware that what he was asking was a great deal.

"That's really not practicable." Mizuki stated, still sounding like she was trying to reason with a madman. Perhaps he was just a little mad at the moment with what he was about to do.

"Of course it is," he said succinctly, unlocking the car and sliding in. "Bundle it up with its shit-holders and bring it. You can look after it the same there as here. I want to be on a plane tonight."

"Yuki…"

"Do it." He paused, then added, "Please."

There was silence for a moment and then he heard Mizuki's quiet resigned laugh.

"Since you asked so nicely how can I refuse?" she finally said. "Very well, leave it to me," and she rang off.

Yuki started the car and headed off. He would do whatever it took to show Shuichi that he could change also, that he too had gone through some changes in the past year, and that they could make their new relationship work.

Yuki drove through the drizzling rain rapidly, reaching NG Productions swiftly and took the elevator directly to Tohma's office. The secretary looked up to stop the unannounced intrusion but, upon seeing who it was, did nothing more. Long years of experience had taught her that one person it wasn't worth trying to stop was Eiri Yuki.

Yuki barged into Tohma's office without knocking, not caring as usual if Tohma was busy or not. Tohma was seated behind his customary desk with Sakano standing by his side, a sheaf of papers in his hands.

Tohma looked up from the papers he held, a frown on his face that immediately left when he saw it was Yuki, whilst the perpetually nervous Sakano started a little in surprise at the sudden interruption.

"Eiri. What can I do for you?" Tohma asked with a smile.

"I want to use your apartment," Yuki replied curtly.

Tohma tilted his head to one side, staring at his brother-in-law. "Which one?" It wasn't a strange question to ask. He had several dotted around the world in many major cities for business purposes now as NG Productions continued to expand.

"New York," was the startling answer he received.

Tohma's eyebrows rose, the only indication of his extreme surprise. "For how long would you like it?" was all he asked though.

"However long it takes," was Yuki's non-committal answer.

"I see," was Tohma's response.

He wasn't sure what was going on but knew that he wasn't likely to get anything more out of Yuki at this time, not from the way his jaw was stubbornly set.

"Very well," Tohma said calmly. "I'll ensure it is arranged. When will you be arriving?"

"Tonight."

Again Tohma found it difficult to mask his feelings. This was turning out to be a very unusual day. "Then I'll arrange for the agent to have a key waiting for you and the premises readied. Do you require anything else?"

"No," Yuki replied, turning and striding from the room without a backwards glance or a word of thanks.

"Well well," Tohma said quietly, staring at the open door, a look of concentration on his face. "I wonder what that was all about?"

He looked up at his faithful Sakano standing silently at his side. "How's Shindou?" he asked

Sakano pushed his glasses up his nose before answering, "He seems in good spirits," he answered.

"Hmm," Tohma mused. "So it doesn't appear that they have had a falling out."

He leant back in his chair and rocked slightly. "Eiri's manner also didn't seem to indicate they had argued. He didn't appear depressed or particularly angry. He looked more….determined. Almost like when…"

Tohma let the thought trail off, then swung around to face Sakano abruptly. "Contact my agent in New York and finalise the arrangements for my apartment to be used by Eiri for an indeterminate time."

Sakano scribbled a few notes as Tohma spoke. "Make certain there is suitable food and beverages available, but not too much alcohol please. I don't wish to encourage him in that habit."

"Yes sir," Sakano replied. "Is that all?"

"Yes, I think so."

Sakano began to move to the door then paused. "Should I organise for a driver to pick him up at the airport?"

Tohma thought for a moment and then shook his head. "No, I'll arrange that. Thank you."

"Very good, sir," and Sakano left.

Tohma turned his chair and looked out the window, seeing the rain running down the glass. Just what was Eiri up to now?


	21. Chapter 21

UML Chapter 21

**Title**: Unlocking My Love

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings:** some bad language

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, apart from Jim Harris; they belong to the creator of 'Gravitation'.

-o0o-

Chapter 21

Yuki got off the plane and strode away rapidly then stopped abruptly, waiting.

Soon Mizuki arrived at his side, her two year old in her arms. She looked tired; it wasn't easy taking such a long flight with a young child. Yuki was just grateful that it wasn't so young that it did nothing but shit and scream.

"We'll go straight to the apartment," he said, beginning to walk again.

"Are you certain that you want us staying there too?" Mizuki asked again, shifting her offspring in her arms.

"It's a suite of rooms," Yuki replied, "You can have your own set of rooms, including kitchen and bathroom so you won't bother me."

"We'll do our best," Mizuki replied, a trace of laughter in her voice.

Yuki glanced at her but her serene face betrayed none of that humour.

"Humph," was all he said. He knew anyone else would have been offended by what he'd said. He was probably lucky that Mizuki knew him so well and took it in a better light.

"Come on," he said, grabbing his bag from the luggage carousel and picking up Mizuki's larger one also, before turning to head for the exit. The rest of their luggage was coming by freight in a day's time which included numerous copies of his books ready for signings. Mizuki had left instructions as to what had to be packed and the quantities required, and it was arranged that it would be delivered directly to Tohma's apartment.

On the way over, Mizuki had complained about the sudden rush of this trip, stating that she could have followed in a day or two so she could have personally organised everything and Yuki wasn't to complain if something went wrong because she wasn't there to prevent it. He had ignored her.

They cleared Customs, Yuki already grinding his teeth in frustration at the delays and slow moving crowd. He was still forced to shorten his stride to keep pace with Mizuki so he couldn't just push through as he would normally have done.

They finally broke free of the masses and began to head for one of the exits when one figure amongst the many caught Yuki's eye; a familiar face, with short cropped hair, and a casual stance. Even the cocky grin was the same, Yuki thought as he refused to break his stride.

"What are you doing here?" Yuki almost snarled, glaring at the man as he drew even with him.

The grin didn't slip from Jim's face. "Just playing chauffeur," he said with a shrug.

"Huh!"

Jim then noticed that Yuji was not alone and stared at Mizuki in open surprise.

"When did you get hitched to such a pretty lady?" he asked, "And here I thought you batted for the other side."

"I didn't," Yuki ground his teeth whilst Mizuki laughed outright.

"Don't let his outward appearance fool you," she said to Jim in perfect, if a little halting, English. "He may have a pretty face but he has a very bad disposition." She smiled at Jim. "He'd make a terrible husband!"

"Yeah, I think you're right," Jim replied, with an answering smile.

"Besides," Mizuki continued, shifting her child in her arms again as it gave a sleepy murmur. "Yuki likes them young and short." She dimpled in amusement. "I'm definitely not his type."

"If you were male, I'm sure you would be," Jim said. "His loss then anyway."

Mizuki blushed at his compliment but acknowledged it with a slight nod.

"Are you two finished yet?" Yuki snapped. "I want a smoke."

Jim laughed and waved them forward. "Sorry, pal. I forgot your addiction. Come on then, let's get moving."

He turned to Mizuki. "You okay with him?", referring to the child in her arms.

"I can manage. Thank you."

Jim smiled again and lead them out to his car. He solicitously assisted Mizuki into the passenger seat whilst Yuki got in the back.

"Sorry, buddy," he said as he started the engine and pulled out of the car park. "Better not smoke with the kid here."

Yuki glared back at him, even though he hadn't intended to anyway. He was sometimes considerate of others around him. Sometimes.

"It's not far," Jim continued, "so it shouldn't take too long. Try and hang on till then okay?"

"Whatever," was Yuki's answer.

Jim just shook his head, smiling.

Yuki sat in silence as they drove, only half listening to Jim conversing with Mizuki, questioning her about her job and association with Yuki. For his part he was already thinking about Shuichi.

He probably should call him in a couple of days and let him know where he was. Or perhaps he'll just text, save the hassle of trying to figure out what to say on the phone. Yeah, he'll do that.

"Here we go," Jim announced and Yuki looked out to see they had indeed arrived.

"I'll take him," Jim said as he opened the door for Mizuki and reached in to lift her young son from her arms.

"It's all right," she protested. "He's not heavy."

Jim carefully cradled the boy and gave a kind smile to Mizuki. "It's no problem," He gazed down at the sleeping child and his features softened. "He's a beautiful kid."

"Thank you," Mizuki said softly, also looking at her son.

Jim turned and began to walk towards the building. "You bring the bags," he called back to Yuki.

"What the hell do I look like?!" Yuki snarled, even as he pulled the bags out. "A fucking bellboy!"

"Not young enough!" Jim said, tossing a grin over his shoulder. "Or pretty enough!"

Yuki growled in the back of his throat as he trailed after them, dragging the two bags with him.

When they reached Tohma's apartment, Mizuki immediately excused herself, taking back her sleeping child with a warm smile of thanks to Jim and a goodnight to them both, before heading to the rooms that would hers.

"She's quite a lady," Jim said, gazing at the closed door. He looked over at Yuki with a grin. "Wonder what she did wrong to get stuck with you!"

Yuki didn't bother answering, just reached into his pocket and drew out his cigarettes, putting one between his lips as he fished out his lighter.

"Still got that, huh?" Jim said from where he sat on the couch.

Yuki glanced down and saw that he held the silver lighter Jim had given him on his last visit. Gods, that seemed almost like it had been a life-time ago!

He lit the end of his cigarette and said, "Want it back?"

Jim shook his head. "Nah, it's better you keep it," He grinned. "Don't want to tempt me to take up a bad habit again, do you?"

"Not my problem if you want to kill yourself," Yuki said, exhaling. He heard Jim chuckle in response.

He eyed the older man for a moment then said, "So what did Tohma tell you?"

"'Bout what?" Jim asked, not denying that he was there at Tohma's request.

"Why I'm here,"

"Nothing,"

Yuki snorted in disbelief.

"Honest," Jim insisted. "He just asked me to pick you up and get you settled." He eyed Yuki. "So why are you here?"

"Work," was all Yuki said.

"Is that all?" Jim queried, his tone indicating that he didn't believe it was only work related. "How's things been going with your boy?"

"None of your business," was Yuki's curt reply.

"Fair enough," Jim said easily, not taking offence. He stood then, absently tugging his jacket into place and headed the door. "Well, I'll leave you to it." He turned at the open door and glanced back at Yuki. "Try to stay out of trouble this time, huh?"

Yuki grimaced, following the other to the threshold, leaning on the door as Jim stepped out into the hall. "So are you going to tell me the story about this lighter?" he said, exhaling slowly.

Jim gave him a crooked smile, sadness in his eyes. "None of your business," he answered with no malice intended.

Yuki nodded slowly, carefully slipping the lighter back into his pocket. "Fair enough," he replied, mirroring Jim from earlier.

Jim gave him a salute as he walked away, leaving Yuki to lock the door behind him.

He went into his bedroom, throwing himself onto his back, feeling his body bounce a couple of times from the impact. He pulled out the lighter again and looked at it, running his fingers over the etching on the case. He knew there was definitely a story there. You couldn't fake the sadness that he had seen in Jim's face.

He reached out and laid it on the bedside table, stubbing out his cigarette in the ashtray resting there. Well, Jim was right. It was none of his business. Right now he had his own worries to sort out.

They were more than enough to occupy him.

-oOo-

Shuichi slouched over the back of the chair he was sitting on in reverse, arms dangling, chin resting on the padded frame. Hiro was in the corner, quietly plucking his guitar, running over a passage of their latest song they were rehearsing. Suguru sat over the other side with a keyboard balanced on his knees as he did much the same.

Shuichi sighed, not noticing the look that passed between his two bandmates. He was feeling a little down today. He'd been trying to call Yuki for the past two days but only reached the answering machine each time. He knew that Yuki had said that he would be busy but he still wanted to hear his voice. How were they supposed to arrange another date if they couldn't talk to each other?

He heaved another melodramatic sigh, and Hiro rolled his eyes, as he set his guitar to one side.

"Okay, I'll bite," he said, reaching out one long leg to kick Shuichi's chair. "What's up?"

Shuichi didn't turn to look at him. "Nothing," he grumped.

"Of course there isn't," Suguru put in, still fingering his keyboard in mute, not even looking up. "That is why you're singing like a dead fish."

Shuichi rolled his head around to gaze at him. "What's a dead fish sound like?" he asked out of curiousity.

"You," was Suguru's reply.

Shuichi pulled a face which Suguru didn't see but the younger man still said, "And you know it."

Shuichi didn't respond as he understood what Suguru was saying. He knew his performance wasn't good today but he just couldn't seem to find the heart for it. All his dreams of a wonderful reunion with Yuki after their recent separation had seemed to have fallen apart and he was just feeling….down about it. Yet he knew he couldn't let it affect his work like this for long.

He ran a hand through his hair and sighed again. "Look, I'll be fine on the next run," he promised his friends.

Suguru now did look up. "You need to be," he said succinctly. "My cousin will only put up with you wallowing in self-pity for so long. You wasting time is lost revenue to him."

Shuichi grimaced. "Yeah, I know," Suguru was quite right. The last thing he needed was Tohma Seguchi breathing down his neck as well.

"So why don't you tell us what the problem is?" Hiro asked again, joining the conversation.

"There's nothing really," Shuichi began, turning around on his chair so he was facing his friends. He caught the look of disbelief on Hiro's face. "I mean, it's just that I haven't been able to contact Yuki lately. I'm beginning to wonder if he's avoiding me."

"Why would he be doing that?" Hiro questioned. "He came to dinner the other night."

"I know that," Shuichi responded a little sarcastically. "I was there, remember?"

"Oh, yeah," Hiro said, turning his eyes towards the ceiling. "You were that noisy little runt."

Shuichi lifted his water bottle as though he were going to throw it as he glared at his friend. "I'm going to put arsenic in the miso next time," he threatened.

"Make it cyanide," Suguru interjected. "The miso will cover up the taste of the bitter almonds fine." Suguru wasn't particularly fond of miso.

HIro let out a bark of laughter, whilst Shuichi guffawed. Their other bandmate often surprised them with his comments at times.

"Look," Shuichi began, setting the water bottle down. "I don't think Yuki felt really comfortable about that night."

Hiro looked at him quizzically. "Why the hell not?"

"Well, think about it," Shuichi said. "He came round to see me when he'd just got back and he found himself in a crowd! Not to mention I know he was really surprised about Annette being there." Shuichi scratched at the back of his head. "I really probably should have told him about her coming over."

"So why didn't you?"

Shuichi fidgeted a little, looking uncomfortable. "Initially it was because I just didn't think of it. It was all such a snap decision and then next minute she was here."

"It only takes a phone call to let Yuki know," Hiro put in.

"I know, I know," Shuichi agreed with exasperation. "But then I didn't know how to tell him. I thought he might get mad."

"Why should he?" Suguru asked, finally joining in the conversation. "It's not like he didn't know who she was."

"And that," Hiro put in dramatically, eyeing the squirming Shuichi. "is exactly the problem, isn't it?"

"Uhm, yeah, I guess." Shuichi admitted.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not following," Suguru looked between the two of them.

Hiro glanced over at him. "Yuki knows Annette's Shu's old girlfriend. How do you think he's gonna feel suddenly finding out that Shu's letting her stay at his place?" Now he turned his attention back to Shuichi. "Especially when they've just started dating again."

Suguru thought about it a moment and then nodded. "I see," he said. "So Yuki might think that Shuichi's cheating on him, or just running back to the convenience of his old girlfriend."

"Hey, don't talk about Annette as a convenience!" Shuichi bristled a little. "That's not very nice. I thought you liked her."

"I do," Suguru agreed calmly. "You're the one who's in the wrong here; in how you are treating both her and Yuki."

"Huh?" Shuichi looked confused now.

"How do you think Annette would interpret you inviting her to stay with you again? With no Yuki around as well."

"We're just friends," Shuichi declared.

Suguru nodded, returning to his keyboard. "Sure you are. Even though you had been living together before." He glanced at Shuichi. "Ever thought that even though you've moved on, that she might not have got over you?"

"Ah…," Shuichi paused. It really hadn't crossed his mind. He still liked Annette but it was in a platonic manner now. He had just assumed that she felt the same way. "You mean that she…."

"I don't know for certain," Suguru interrupted. "You're the one who spends the most time with her."

"I think Suguru might have a point, you know," Hiro quietly agreed. Shuichi looked over at him. "It must have been pretty hard on her when you just up and left. Have you ever really bothered to talk to her about it properly since then?"

"Not….really," Shuichi admitted, trying to think. "She seemed to accept the break-up really well and we still kept in close touch afterwards so I thought it was all okay."

"You see," Suguru added. "Both Annette and Yuki might be thinking that you're playing a game here. Maybe that's why Yuki isn't speaking to you. How do you think he would have felt seeing you getting along so well with your ex again?"

Shuichi thought back on the dinner two nights ago and now he began to see Yuki's behaviour in a different light. What he had originally put down to just the other being tired, and his usual unsociable self around other people, he could now see was more like when Yuki was pissed off about something; that seething anger that built up inside him.

"Shit!" Shuichi suddenly groaned, pulling at his hair.

"Now he gets it," Hiro said, nodding to Suguru.

"So it would seem," was Suguru's calm response.

"Okay, I'm a moron," Shuichi growled at them, glaring. "So shoot me!"

"Some days, gladly," Suguru replied immediately. "However I leave that pleasure to K."

Shuichi just rolled his eyes. "Well, if Yuki's so mad at me that he's not answering the phone I guess I'll have to go round there in person and apologise."

"Make certain you grovel well," Hiro grinned at his friend. "It's the only way he'll listen."

Shuichi grimaced again. "You are so right there! Geez, I really am going to have to pile it on thick this time."

Hiro chuckled as he stood, crossing over to ruffle Shuichi's hair, who swatted his hand away with a scowl.

"Cut it out!" Shuichi muttered.

"Just swallow your pride and do it," Hiro stated.

"And maybe then we'll finally be able to get through this song in its entirety just once?" Suguru added.

Shuichi frowned at him. "What's my apology got to do with that?!"

"Apology?" Sakano asked as he walked in the door. "What have you done now?!"

The man looked to each of them worriedly, and Shuichi could see those tiny frown lines begin on Sakano's brow. He hurriedly waved his hand to reassure the man.

"It's fine, Sakano," he said soothingly. "It's nothing to do with work," and he ignored the small "huh!" interjected by Suguru as he continued, "I've just got to speak to Yuki about something after, that's all."

"Oh!" Sakano sounded relieved, turning to leave and then paused at the door. "Oh, Shindou, if you intend to see Yuki you won't find him home. He's already left."

Shuichi felt suddenly cold all over, as though doused with a wave of icy water. "Left?" he managed to say, though his throat felt dry. "Left where?"

Sakano seemed to sense that something wasn't quite right and he swallowed almost nervously, one hand coming up to tug at his tie. "New York," he said, waiting to see what reaction he was going to get.

"New….," Shuichi's voice failed him for a moment before he could swallow and continue, "York?"

Sakano nodded. "Yes. He informed the President yesterday of his intended destination."

"I….see," Shuichi fell silent and no-one else made any move to speak.

Hiro watched his friend with concern. He was just as shocked by this sudden news and couldn't help but wonder if this meant that Yuki had finally given up on beginning again with Shuichi. Perhaps seeing Annette had been too much of a shock to him after all.

Shuichi abruptly stood, making them all start. His features were set in angry lines, his eyes narrowed and lips thinned.

"Shu?" Hiro queried a little hesitantly, not sure what his friend was likely to do.

"That bastard!" Shuichi exploded with and then practically ran from the room, leaving the other three to stare after him in surprise.

"That…was unexpected," Suguru finally said, the first to break the silence. He reached up and tugged at his earring, still looking after the now vanished Shuichi.

"I think you just made him mad," Hiro said absently to Sakano, wondering where his friend might have taken off to in such a hurry.

"I'm so sorry. I thought he already knew!" Sakano apologised, almost falling over his words, wringing his hands.

"Don't sweat it," Hiro reassured him with a slap on the back that made Sakano stagger a little. "He'll be fine." He looked at the door Shuichi had ran through and chewed on his bottom lip for a moment. "But I gotta wonder what he's gonna do now."

-oOo-

Shuichi ran full tilt down the passage, skidding to a halt before the elevator, stabbing at the button angrily until the doors slowly slid open. Once inside he fumbled a moment as he pulled out his key card and swiped it over the sensor before pressing the top most button, impatiently waiting for the doors to close again and the lift begin to rise.

Damn that man! He seethed angrily. How dare he just take off and not tell him! Just who the hell did he think he was, the bastard!

Shuichi stared up at the ascending numbers swiftly illuminating as the speed picked up.

He just couldn't believe this! Here he'd been worrying and wondering about Yuki. Wanting to see him again and spend time with him and the jerk has gone and left him behind without a fucking word! All that bullshit that Yuki had spouted to him before about wanting to start again; what a crock of shit that was! And that crap about how much he said he loved Shuichi! Yeah, right, disappearing overnight without even having the guts to face him really showed just how much he cared! Fucking bastard!

He ground his teeth, both in anger and frustration and other emotions that he didn't want to acknowledge or touch just at this moment.

He bet Seguchi had a hand in this. Yeah, that prick would have egged Yuki on to get away whilst he had the chance. He wouldn't have done anything at all to stop him from going! He was going to teach him once and for all to not meddle in his affairs!

The lift pinged softly and Shuichi didn't bother waiting for the doors to open fully, turning sideways and squeezing through. He strode swiftly down the corridor and didn't even pause when the usually intimidating secretary interposed herself before him. Instead he feinted left, and then barrel-rolled under her arms on the right, coming to his feet and literally diving towards his goal which were the large ornate doors before him.

His hand connected with the handle, turning it, even as he was sure he could feel the hot breath of the secretary on the back of his neck, that close to pulling him away. The door moved under his hand, suddenly swinging wide and depositing him flat on his face over the threshold.

"Is there something I can do for you, Shindou?" Tohma Seguchi's calm voice reached him through the blood pounding in his temples from his recent exertions.

Slowly Shuichi got to his hands and knees, head hanging down. "You…are….a…. prick," he said in a harsh voice. He stood fully now, glaring across the room at Tohma.

Tohma tilted his head to one side, the only expression on his face was one of mild curiousity. "And that is something new you have discerned?" he questioned as though seriously wanting to learn Shuichi's answer.

Shuichi glared back at him, eyes flashing and hands clenched in fists at his side. He was trying to hold himself back, for just at that moment he dearly wanted to throw himself across that desk and throttle the man sitting behind it. Of course, that would be the end of his career but at this minute he actually didn't care. The reason he was holding himself back was that he wanted to find out what the hell was going on with Yuki.

"You just can't stop interfering, can you?!" he snarled instead.

"Just what might you be referring to?" Tohma asked, hands coming up before him so he could rest his chin on them.

"Yuki," Shuichi managed to spit out. "You didn't even try to stop him from going, did you?!"

"And why would I do that? He is quite free to do what he wishes. I have no control over his life." Tohma indicated, voice remaining calm.

The way Tohma Seguchi could maintain his calm, seeming completely unconcerned about any of this, just made Shuichi seethe more.

"So you just up and let him go, knowing he's been stringing me along up till now? Don't you fucking care about anyone other than yourself?!"

Tohma blinked a couple of times. "Is that what you think this is about?" he finally asked.

"What the hell else could it be?!" he almost screamed.

"Ah, shall we lower the tone a little?" Tohma requested mildly. "I wouldn't wish for you to ruin your voice over something as trivial as this."

"TRIVIAL?!" Shuichi's voice went up another octave.

Tohma waved his hand to indicate for him to quietened down and spoke before Shuichi exploded again.

"Yuki came to me late yesterday and requested that he have the use of my apartment whilst he was in New York in business," Tohma explained.

"Business?! Hah!" Shuichi's tone of disbelief indicated he didn't think this was the truth at all.

"I can only pass on what I was informed of," Tohma stated. He leant back in his chair now. "I do know however, that his editor did accompany him and his publishing house confirmed that he was undertaking some promotional activities there." He met Shuichi's angry stare. "I have no reason to believe there is any lie here. Do you?"

Shuichi paused for a moment, letting Tohma's words sink in. Obviously Tohma had already checked up on things. Well, of course he had, Shuichi silently scolded himself. This was about Yuki so Tohma would have made certain he knew all that he could. So perhaps, just perhaps, it was actually on the level? Perhaps Yuki really had gone over there for work. So why didn't he tell Shuichi?!

Because he thought Shuichi was back with Annette? Could Yuki have really thought that?

Shuichi's shoulders slumped then as he seemed to deflate on the spot, all the anger dissipating at once.

"When…," Shuichi cleared his throat and began again. "When is he coming back?"

Tohma gave a small shrug, leaning forward and picking up a pen. "I have no idea. The arrangement for the apartment was open-ended." He glanced up at Shuichi. "Please close the door on your way out."

That was as pointed as it could get of Shuichi being told to get out and he didn't try and argue, instead just silently turning and walking out, softly shutting the door behind him.

Well, that looked like that was it. He felt a tightness build up across his forehead and temples and rubbed at his face, feeling the slight dampness that touched his eyelashes.

He'd really blown it this time.

-oOo-

Tohma continued to look at the closed door for some time after Shuichi had left, his mind ticking over rapidly. Slowly a smile curved his lips and he carefully placed the pen back on the desk and instead picked up the phone.

He dialled and waited, rocking slowly in his chair. It rang out the first time but he just calmly pressed the redial and waited again. He did this for a third time before it was finally answered.

"Hiya, Tohma!" Ryuichi's cheerful voice echoed down the phone.

"Hello, Ryuichi," Tohma replied warmly.

"I knew it was you!" Ryuichi crowed. "I told Kumagoro that it was. Only you know our secret password!"

The 'secret password' was the three attempt ring. Ryuichi seldom bothered answering the phone, generally leaving the answering services to pick up calls but if Tohma wanted him they had set up this simple system which seemed to work fine for them both.

"So how have you been?" Tohma asked, leaning back comfortably.

"Really, really good!" was Ryuichi's exuberant answer. "We've been really busy lately. I've just finished filming and they let me play with the gorilla suit between takes! It was loads of fun! Kumagoro wanted one too!"

"Uh, huh," Tohma said in response.

"So what do you need?" Ryuichi's voice was now even and calm, all traces of his childlike enthusiasm gone.

Tohma stopped rocking and turned to sit properly at his desk. "I want to organise an event," he said.

"An event?" Ryuichi questioned. "What type?"

"An anniversary concert of Nittle Grasper."

There was silence for a moment on the other end of the line, then Ryuichi spoke again.

"Why now?"

"Don't you want to see Noriko and I?" Tohma answered with a question of his own.

"You are avoiding the point, Tohma," Ryuichi replied just as calmly.

Tohma chuckled but said nothing more.

"Okay," Ryuichi filled in instead. "Where and when?"

"New York. And as soon as possible."

"New York?" Tohma could hear Ryuichi's surprise. "It's been a long time since we've played there."

"Precisely," Tohma stated. "Almost ten years in fact, so isn't it a perfect time to consider something like this?"

"What's the real reason?"

"Yuki," he said. "And Shindou."

"Ah," Ryuichi said. "So what have you got planned with holding this concert?"

"I thought it would be a good drawcard to have Bad Luck as Nittle Grasper's supporting act. Their music is beginning to get some good airplay over there so we should strike whilst the iron's hot so to speak."

"Hmm," Tohma could almost hear Ryuichi's sharp mind running through the options. "It could work out. I could also use it to promote my latest film. Is that a problem?"

"Not at all," Tohma readily agreed.

This time it was Ryuichi's turn to chuckle. "No, it wouldn't be, would it? After all, nothing about this concert is exactly what it seems."

"True," Tohma admitted easily. "So you can make yourself available?"

"I'll be there," Ryuichi promised. "Are you going to organise everything?"

"Of course," Tohma said, "Leave it to me."

"Are you sure Nori will agree also?"

"I'll speak to her. Don't worry," Tohma reassured Ryuichi. "She'll be delighted with the opportunity to see you again, I'm sure."

Ryuichi suddenly laughed out loud. "It'll be really good to get back on stage with you!" he said happily. "I can't wait! Kumagoro is excited too now! Hey, Tohma, can Kumagoro join us? Please?"

"I'm sure we can arrange something," Tohma said smoothly.

"Goody, goody!" Ryuichi almost squealed. "Did you hear that, Kuma? You're going to be a pop star!! Say thank you to Uncle Tohma!"

Tohma heard the rustling on the other end of the phone and could picture the pink plushie being mashed up against the phone.

"Tell Kumagoro he's welcome," Tohma put in. "We should be able to get over there in a couple of days so I will call you when we arrive and let you know where it will be held and where we'll be rehearsing."

"Yep, yep!" Ryuichi agreed. "I'll be waaaaaiting!!" and he rang off.

Tohma hung up the phone and immediately dialled again. There was a lot he had to organise now.

"Hello, Noriko," as the call was answered. "I have a favour to ask."


	22. Chapter 22

**Title**: Unlocking My Love

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings:** some bad language

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, apart from Jim Harris; they belong to the creator of 'Gravitation'.

Chapter 22

Tohma stood in front of the stunned group, all expressing their surprise in different ways.

Sakano's eyes had rolled back in his head as he'd fallen down in a dead faint – no surprise there. K's eyebrows had risen high as he absently twirled his beloved Magnum around on his finger - hopefully with the safety on. Nakano scratched the back of his head, cigarette dangling forgotten from his lips. His young cousin Suguru sat frowning, a common enough expression but the pursed lips also clearly denoted worry. Meanwhile Shuichi Shindou simply sat there silently, face utterly blank, mouth hanging wide open.

Tohma kept the smile on his face and waited for them to recover their senses. The first to do so was Shuichi who let out a high pitched scream of "Whaaaaat?!!!" which made them all wince.

Tohma waved him silent and was pleased that Shuichi's shock hadn't made him forget who exactly held the power here as he subsided.

"I shall repeat myself for the benefit of Shindou as it would seem he has difficulty in grasping what was said," Tohma began, keeping his voice calm. "I have arranged for Bad Luck to be the opening act at the forthcoming Nittle Grasper reunion concert to be held in New York in two months. You will all be ready to leave in one week's time."

Tohma turned around to leave when Shuichi's voice halted him.

"Hold on a gods-damn minute!"

Tohma looked over his shoulder to see Shuichi glaring at him, teeth almost gnashing. "What are you talking about?" he declared. "This is just impossible! There's no way you can set up something like that so fast!"

"It has already been discussed with both Noriko and Ryuichi and arrangements are in place," Tohma stated firmly as though that was the end of it.

"The kid's right, you know," K now put in, absently prodding the still comatose Sakano on the floor with the toe of his shoe. "Getting a concert of that size together this quickly is just about impossible."

Tohma smiled, a smile that looked more than a little threatening. "This is a charity event and also being used to promote Ryuichi's new film which has a strong focus on the issue of abuse. That makes it an extremely topical matter at this time and the relevant welfare organizations have been more than supportive in ensuring this will go ahead as requested. The Governor has also seen it as a positive action and is providing his full support."

"I…see," K eyed Tohma with intense scrutiny. Then he smiled brightly and turned to the still silent members of Bad Luck. "Okay then, kids!" he exclaimed. "Guess it's time for you to start getting your act together and brushing up on those songs!"

"I won't!" Shuichi's voice rang out. Deathly silence settled over the room as all eyes turned towards him. He sat in the chair, hands clenched in fists before him, eyes flashing. He was breathing heavily, almost panting in his rage. "I'm not doing it!"

Tohma met his angry eyes, meeting them and holding them. Shuichi didn't try to look away although his shoulders stiffened visibly. Few people could comfortably meet Tohma Seguchi's gaze when he turned such intensity upon them.

"You," Tohma said succinctly, each word falling loudly into the silence although he never raised his voice once, "will do as you are instructed." He paused, letting the full force of his personality show through his eyes as he gaze bore into Shuichi's. "Do I make myself clear?"

Shuichi tried to hold firm, still showing his outrage although he audibly swallowed nervously. His mouth opened as though to speak again but no sound emerged and then slowly it closed.

Tohma held his eyes for a heartbeat longer then turned and continued out the door. "I would suggest," he said as he left the room, "that you begin to plan the schedule you would like to present for my approval. I expect it on my desk in three days."

No sound followed him as he exited. However as he entered the lift at the end of the corridor he heard the sound of running feet from behind. Turning he wondered if he would see Shindou pelting down the corridor, frothing at the mouth, spewing forth a diatribe of refusals. Instead he saw Sakano sprinting the remaining distance, sliding into the elevator just as the doors swished shut, barely missing catching the tail of his jacket.

Tohma tilted his head to one side, quietly watching as Sakano leant over, hands on knees, breathing heavily after his exertion. "You are very fast," he commented with a touch of admiration. It wasn't false praise; Tohma knew exactly how long that corridor was.

"I have learnt to be in your employ," Sakano gasped out. He straightened up, automatically tugging his jacket down to smooth the crumpled look away and straightening his tie.

"Ahem," he said, pushing his glasses up his nose in his habitual gesture.

"Yes?" Tohma queried, watching the numbers ascend. "You have something on your mind?"

"This concert," Sakano began in an even voice, "is…rather unexpected."

"Hmm," was Tohma's only response.

Silence settled between them before Sakano spoke again. "It is unusual for Shindou to be so against the opportunity to perform." The man shifted his shoulders within his jacket. "It would appear that he has a reason to not wish to go to New York."

"What possible reason could there be?" Tohma asked in a slightly amused voice.

Sakano's gaze narrowed as he looked at his superior. "I understand that New York is where Yuki Eiri has traveled to."

"You know, I do believe you are correct," Tohma answered noncommittally. He heard Sakano sigh.

"I will do all that is in my power to ensure that Shindou is ready to leave as requested," Sakano stated.

Tohma smiled at him. "I knew I could count on you."

They exited the elevator and Sakano fell into step behind Tohma in his usual place as they continued on till reaching Tohma's office.

"You have been very successful in completing the preparations for this event so speedily," Sakano commented, immediately turning to the coffee machine in the corner to begin brewing Tohma's special bled.

Tohma sat, eyes scanning over the papers set out on the top of the wide desk. There was still much to be done. "Ryuichi has assisted tremendously in enlisting the support of the film's personnel for the endeavour."

"The fact that it is election time for the Governor of that State of course had no impact upon its successful acceptance."

Tohma looked up, surprised. Sakano was watching him with a steady gaze and he felt his lips curve in a smile then he began to laugh softly. "Ah, Sakano," he said, still smiling as he leant his chin in the palm of one hand, elbow resting on the chair's arm, gazing at his subordinate with pleasure. "You are constantly surprising me."

"Thank you, sir," Sakano replied with a low bow.

Tohma continued to chuckle as he now turned his attention to the papers on the desk, shuffling them around until he found the one that he was seeking. He held it out to Sakano.

"Since you have already discerned that aspect perhaps you would be so good as to continue to monitor the situation and ensure that it runs smoothly?" he said.

Sakano stepped forward, placing Tohma's coffee on the desk before taking the paper from his hand.

"We wouldn't want the Governor to come up with some excuse why things could not proceed at the last minute now, would we?"

"I shall be certain to ensure that does not happen," Sakano promised with another bow.

"Thank you," Tohma said, knowing he could trust Sakano to deal with the matter. He turned back to the rest of the papers resting there. There were still many other pressing matters for him to deal with before the week was out.

-oOo-

"And that is it so far," Mizuki finished with, closing the file before her. "So what do you think?"

Yuki looked grumpy. "Why couldn't they have got their shit together earlier? I've had nothing to do till now and I hate pissing my time away for nothing," he growled.

Mizuki shot him an exasperated look. "Who was it who insisted that we had to come here right this minute and not wait in Japan whilst the arrangements were being made, hmm?"

Yuki refused to answer or meet her eyes. He had had no choice. If he hadn't gone immediately he might have lost his nerve and never come. It would have been too easy to have made excuses to remain in Japan with Shuichi. However, although that would have been the easiest way, it wouldn't have accomplished anything. He had to show Shuichi that he could change too.

He tapped the cigarette hard, the ash falling downwards into the tray he held. "That's still a hell of a lot to do all of a sudden," he finally said, lips still pressed together in a thin line of displeasure.

Mizuki hid her smile knowing it would just put her charge in a worse mood. That was about as near to an admission of guilt as she was likely to get from Yuki.

"Not really," she said soothingly. "If we are to make this successful we really do need to make a splash right from the start. This," and her fingers tapped the file, "gets you exposure via the media through both radio and TV guest slots. That gives time for the book signing locations to be advertised and set up. A week of this ensures that we can move smoothly into the rest."

"I hate travel," Yuki stated, lighting another cigarette.

Mizuki just cocked her head to one side. "You knew you would have to do some. You did agree to this," she chided gently.

He puffed on his cigarette for a time, scowling. He knew he was being difficult and it wasn't that he wasn't aware of all that would go with this plan. Yet it still grated on his nerves to be doing something that was so against the grain. He felt like he was a caterpillar encased in a cocoon, struggling to slough of its confining shell but not completely sure that what would emerge would actually be a butterfly. It unnerved him.

"So," Mizuki said into the silence. "Have you called Shuichi yet?"

Yuki's heart thumped fast for a moment as his eyes skittered off to the side, refusing to meet hers. "No," he said, almost chewing on the cigarette between his lips. His hands clenched into fists. Shuichi, his mind sang. How he wanted to speak to him!

Now it was Mizuki's turn to frown slightly "You said you were going to when we arrived," she reminded him. "That was three days ago. Don't you think you should do so?"

He shot her a quick glare then looked away again quickly. "I'll do it later," he mumbled. Why did he suddenly feel like he was being scolded? He felt like he was a child again being chastised by his mother.

"When?" Mizuki pressed, not letting up. "He's bound to be wondering where you are."

"He'd be too damn busy with his music to wonder about me for a few days. It's not going to kill him."

Mizuki opened her mouth to say more but then with a roll of her eyes just closed it without speaking. She knew only too well that there wouldn't be any point in continuing this strain of conversation, not when Yuki was sitting there with that stubborn look and pout on his face.

With a small shake of her head she stood and collected her file. She could only hope her son didn't grow up anything like Yuki Eiri. Admittedly it would be nice if he was as good-looking and intelligent, but the rest? She shuddered; that would really be just too much for her to handle. She was getting enough grey hairs as it was!

"Well, don't put it off for too long," was all she added. "You don't want him to worry unnecessarily and I'm sure he would be excited for you."

She turned and headed for her rooms. "You should try and have an early night, you know. From tomorrow things are going to be rather busy and there's not going to be a great deal of time to relax." She paused, turning at the door with a smile. "Good night, Yuki."

"Humph," was the expected response she received.

Yuki remained seated on the couch, smoking. The bottle of beer before him was leaving a ring of condensation on the coffee table but he didn't care. It wasn't his coffee table. The fact that there was a set of coasters placed neatly and in full view in the middle of said table, obviously for just such a purpose, he ignored.

The last few days had been difficult for him. He'd been frustrated by the delay but he knew he couldn't blame anyone else but himself. He was the one who had insisted on coming over here before plans had been set in motion so it was only to be expected that there would then be a time of waiting whilst arrangements were made.

In fact Mizuki had done wonders as it was. Upon arrival she had immediately contacted all the interested parties here in the States who had been pressing for him to come here. That was one thing that Mizuki was excellent at. She always kept copious notes on every discussion she had that related to Yuki's work so she had a full and comprehensive list of contacts whom she immediately got in touch with, much to their delight. He couldn't understand why they were so pleased. He personally would have been pissed off if the situation had been reversed. His sudden arrival was putting them all under a great deal of pressure and giving them a lot more work to do yet they still seemed happy. He mentally shrugged. Oh well, that was their problem.

What had surprised him just as much was how much Mizuki seemed to be enjoying it all as well. She had truly risen to the challenge despite having to be dealing in a foreign country, and he had a far greater appreciation of her now than he ever had. He had even noticed that her spoken English had become far smoother. As she had been on the phone almost nonstop since their arrival, the constant practice was improving her language skills no end.

He watched the curl of smoke drifting away from the cigarette held between his fingers. It wasn't only the people here in the States that Mizuki had been busy with. She had been on the phone back to Japan from almost the moment they touched down, liaising with his publishing company to ensure there were no further bruised toes or egos that would have to be dealt with due to his sudden decision. He didn't know what she had told them but she had indicated after the first day that all was well so he didn't have to worry about that. He had felt some of the tension release in his shoulders after hearing that.

Yuki raised the cigarette to his lips, drawing in deeply, holding the smoke in his lungs for a moment before letting it seep from between his lips. He thought back on what Mizuki had discussed with him this evening. After three days of inactivity - at least for him - he now had a full schedule to attend to ranging from radio broadcasts, TV appearances, and magazine article interviews. Not to mention various photo-shoots and the recently developed schedule of book signings in different locations. Now it was beginning to feel that it was really going to happen whereas till now it had still seemed so intangible.

Even despite his dislike for travel he had known that he would have to. Simply remaining in New York wouldn't achieve anything, it would hardly give him the exposure that he was seeking. No; to prove himself he had to go further afield and Mizuki knew that. So with this in mind his schedule currently took him to a number of different locations such as New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Massachusetts, and even a trip to Washington DC. If Shuichi could be so head strong as to want to take on the world then Yuki would show him that he could do the same!

He reached up and rubbed his eyes tiredly. He wasn't tired because he'd been busy; in fact he had had nothing to do except sit on his arse each day for he had no desire to go out and do the touristy thing like sight-seeing. New York held no interest for him in that way.

No, he was tired from having to think in this way. Trying to promote himself like this, to push himself beyond his usual boundaries felt strange. Such a thing had never been a concern for him before. Previously he had written his novels, reaped the rewards that went with the fame and fortune, and just carried on with his life as he saw fit. He'd never cared about making anything more of himself as it all just seemed to happen for him so he hadn't seen any point in exerting himself when there was no need to do so.

Professionally he had known that he was 'limited' in a sense in only being truly well-known in his own country of Japan but so what? That had been enough for him. He had the recognition, could get any woman he wanted, had all the money he needed and generally could do just as he pleased. He hadn't seen any need to change that. If the rest of the world had never heard of Yuki Eiri what did he care? It hadn't meant anything to him. But now…now was different. Now he had something to prove - and to someone who was very special to him.

He stubbed out the cigarette and walked to the window. Gazing out at the night sky he tipped the beer bottle up and drained the last drops. Being in New York again troubled him. It was another reason he had decided to come so suddenly. Here was probably the last place that he wanted to be, in fact to ever see again. Even after all this time, no matter how far his shrink said he had come to accepting his past and moving beyond it, he still would sometimes wake up in a cold sweat. Just thinking about it now made his palms sweaty.

He rubbed his hands, one at a time, against his leg, wiping the moisture away. That had been the problem. If he had spent too much time thinking about it he would never voluntarily have returned to this place. He would have only been too happy if some momentous catastrophe wiped this blighted blot of a city from the face of the Earth. That's how much he detested even knowing of its continued existence. Unfortunately it was still here so he had had no choice but to come. Now he just had to survive being here.

Yuki rested a hand flat against the glass, the coolness chilling his palm. How he hated it here. The last time he'd had Tohma, that familiar steady presence supporting him. With all that had been going on back then he's had no time to think about his own neurosis which was probably a good thing. Now though he had nothing to distract him, no-one to keep him balanced and soothe his past fears. Without that those dark worms crawling deep inside his psyche were squirming their way to the surface.

His hand clenched into a fist and for one brief insane moment he wanted to punch the glass before him, to see it shatter, his flesh lacerated and blood spray out. Blood; yeah, he remembered how that had pooled around the still bodies cooling quickly. His heart began to beat rapidly, blood pounding in his temples as his breathing sped up. He heard himself panting, beads of sweat gathering on his brow. It felt like his body was going to burst into flames.

He leant forward so his forehead rested on the glass, focusing and trying to calm his racing heart, forcing himself to relax, to not give into the past psychosis that had ruled his life for so many years. Slowly he began to breathe normally, slowing, tension releasing from his taut muscles. He took one last slow deep breath, holding it and then slowly releasing it.

Straightening up, he ran a hand through his hair, pushing it back from his damp brow. Shit, how many times was he going to have to deal with this, he wondered. He remembered vividly running here to New York once and Shuichi following. It had been such a stupid thing – for both of them. Back then he had always been trying to find ways to run away from his past. His whole life as a famous novelist had been nothing more than a coping mechanism. It wasn't until he'd met Shuichi that he had been faced with the prospect of having to decide if he was going to stop running and actually do something about it all. Even after coming to that decision he hadn't had the will power to do it, trapped within his mind in an ever circling spiral of despair. It was Shuichi who had pulled him from that maelstrom, reaching out his hand and grasping Yuki so tightly he couldn't escape. Without that Yuki would never have broken free. Shuichi had become his rock, the light he reached for as he slowly and painfully climbed the precarious ladder from the darkness that had clouded his soul.

Being here on his own now was making him feel like he was falling back into those depths. He took another deep breath. He had to fight against that. He had to show Shuichi that he could do this. So no matter how much he wished Shuichi were here he couldn't use him as a crutch any longer. This was his battle to fight.

He turned away and pondered having another cigarette. No, he didn't really want one. What he did want was to call Shuichi. Mizuki had scolded him for not calling yet but it wasn't that he didn't want to; he did. He wanted to hear Shuichi's voice and talk to him but every time he began to dial he'd freeze up. He didn't really have anything to tell him yet and until these promotional activities began he didn't even know if he would be successful. He would feel like a real fool if he called and told Shuichi all about this only for it to turn to shit and he was left with egg on his face. He would never be able to face Shuichi under those circumstances again. Just thinking about it now made his face flush with humiliation. Failure was not something he was used to and he had no desire to advertise it before the fact. No, despite almost desperately wanting to speak to Shuichi, it would be better to hold off. Just for a little while longer.

He crossed the room and set the empty beer bottle on the table then made his way to his room. He ignored the bed, directing his feet to the wardrobe first instead. He withdrew and unlocked his valise, pulling out the brown leather bound journal before heading for the soft inviting bed.

Laying down on top of the covers he opened the book against his propped knees. His eyes scanned the pages filled with writing, sometimes neat, often scrawled as though a spider had fallen in an ink pot and wandered across the page. Some pages were wrinkled as though they had been clenched in a hand ready to be torn out, a few even had small tears either at the binding or edges. Flicking through on some the writing appeared smeared as though moisture had been dripped on the paper and then wiped away. Page after page turned, flashing past his gaze. He couldn't stop himself from pausing sometimes, his eyes steadying and re-reading entire passages, his face heating occasionally with either embarrassment or desire at the words upon the pages.

This was a very precious item to him, this journal. He'd begun it when Shuichi had gone missing, had almost burnt it when he'd got his memories back but found he couldn't bear to part with it. Writing in it every night had been a catharsis of sorts during the worst of those times; a means of purging his mind of all the turbulent thoughts and emotions tearing him apart. It hadn't taken long before it had become like a part of his soul.

Every entry was entirely about Shuichi in some way; what Yuki thought of him, what he remembered of their past times together, what he wanted of the future for them. It was filled with his sense of loss and frustrations, his terrors and fears, his concerns and worries. It was filled - every single page - with his overwhelming love, desire and need for that one person, Shuichi Shindou.

Now, every night Yuki found himself sitting down before going to bed and filling in this journal. Somehow he never seemed to run out of things to say, day after day. Even if he tried to miss a day he found he was unable to sleep, tossing and turning until he rose to at least put something down in words so he could seek his rest. It may have become nothing more than an unhealthy emotional crutch during that traumatic time that was now a bad habit but he didn't care. He felt better for it which is all that mattered. And he still half hoped that one day he might be able to actually tell Shuichi in person even a small portion of what was written on these pages.

The pen remained poised above the blank page. Perhaps after this he would finally be able to say what he really wanted to.

-oOo-

"Will you just stop it?" Annette said with exasperation.

"Stop what?" Shuichi grumbled, kicking at the side of the coffee table as he had been doing for the past twenty minutes. The constant pounding had been irritating Annette all that time until she could stand it no longer. Especially as she knew it was nothing more than one of the symptoms of a far greater cause.

"Stop acting like a child!" she shouted, finally snapping.

Shuichi looked at her, eyes glaring over the top of the cushion that she had thrown at him. "I'm not!" he snapped, tossing it violently to one side and coming to his feet to face her.

"You are! You've been moping around for days!"

She matched his glare, meeting those large amethyst eyes with her own angry gaze. She felt herself begin to get lost in those eyes, eyes that had first captivated her so long ago. There was a time that just a look from Shu would make her go weak at the knees. Usually his eyes were filled with laughter; now they flashed fire and she inwardly cringed at knowing that anger was directed at her. She stiffened her resolve against that look. She wasn't the one at fault here and it was about time someone kicked him out of this rut.

She took a deep breath to try and steady herself, not intending to back down in her decision but inside she trembled. How she wanted to just throw herself into his arms and make all this go away. When they had been together they had hardly ever had a disagreement. Being at odds now with him left her feeling a little ill. She really didn't want to continue this. She would much rather just apologise and make up with him for then surely everything would be okay.

She steeled her heart against that thought, physically clenching her hands into fists at her side, the slight pain of her nails digging into her palms steadying her. Taking another mental breath she kept her gaze locked with his.

"You've been doing nothing but wallow in your own self-pity for the past week," she said evenly. "Hiro and Suguru have been doing everything and you've just continued to make your own selfish demands. You haven't even cared that you're messing with their futures as well."

She took a deep breath, forcing herself to continue. "On top of that, Mr Sakano has been practically in tears trying to encourage and support you, and Mr Winchester hasn't once tried to shoot you." She had become quickly used to K's strange way of controlling his unruly band so she too realized how momentous this was.

"All you've been thinking about is how you feel and what you want and not caring about anyone else! You've been unbearable!"

"Then in your great wisdom what am I supposed to be doing, huh?" Shuichi practically sneered.

Annette felt her chest tighten again hearing that unaccustomed tone in his voice directed at her. "Instead of being an ass about it all, why don't you just go and see him?"

Shuichi froze in place. "Who?"

"Who do you think?" Annette snapped back. "Yuki of course!"

"This has nothing to do with him!" Shuichi shot back. "That bastard up and left of his own accord. He's out of my life and good riddance!"

"Then why are you being difficult about going to the States for the concert? Just because you know he's in New York!" she threw back at him.

"That's got nothing to do with it!"

"Then what has it go to do with?!" she shouted, almost wanting to stamp her feet in frustration at his pigheadedness. "What other reason do you have for not wanting to go there?!"

She watched as Shuichi opened his mouth but he could voice no further argument so she continued. "There is none and you know it!" she stated firmly. "You are giving up the chance of playing live in the States, in New York no less with media coverage, all because you don't have the guts to face one single person."

She pointed a finger at him, her hand almost shaking. "The Shu Chan that I knew had more courage than that. He loved music and wanted nothing more than to have the whole world hear it. And the Shuichi Shindou that came after would never let anything or anyone hold him back from having his music heard." She took a step towards him. "You once said that nothing was more important than your music. Was that all just a lie?"

"Of course not!"

"Then prove it! Go to New York and stop acting like an idiot! This is your big chance to bring Bad Luck the world-wide recognition that you have always wanted!"

"I…" Shu paused and ran a hand through his hair, frustration clearly evident in the gesture. "It doesn't have to happen now."

It was a lame excuse, as lame as they came and Annette wasn't having any of it. "It is now or never," she stated. "You won't get another chance like this." She decided to try a different tack. "Are you afraid that you won't be able to do it? Do you not think your music is good enough? Or are you just trying to find excuses for why you failed by blaming Yuki for it?"

"Of course not!" Shuichi defended himself.

"Then go." She stated simply. "And while you're there talk to Yuki. It's about time you did."

"I don't see why I need to go that far," Shu grumped, throwing himself back onto the couch and slumping there.

Annette looked at the disgruntled expression on Shu's face, partially amused despite herself. It was strange in a way. In the time that she and Shu had been together she hadn't seen half of these expressions he had shown during her stay with him here. Their relationship had been so easy-going that she had thought it was almost perfect. But perhaps it was that she had barely touched the surface of who Shuichi Shindou really was. It was after all a kind of indicator of the level of trust in a relationship when each partner was not afraid to show their displeasure or hurt or frustration to the other, knowing that their partner would still care for them, still love them no matter what they were feeling. Shu had never shown her these moods; yet it would appear that Yuki more than received his share.

She swallowed a sad sigh, turning her head to one side so Shu wouldn't see the brightness building in her eyes, not believing she was about to say what she was.

"Shu, it's obvious that you need to see him even if you aren't willing to admit it." She schooled her expression into one of calm and looked back at him. "You owe it to him and yourself to see him. He's done a lot for you, you know that. You can't just cast that aside."

"He's the one that left me," Shu muttered, foot going back to kicking at the table.

Annette lightly kicked his ankle, making him cease his abuse of the furniture. "So you need to find out why," she said.

Shu didn't say anything although his lips were set in a stubborn line. Annette felt her own tremble at this sight. She felt a flood of feelings wash over her, memories of times past, a time she had shared with Shu. Looking at him now, understanding and finally accepting what was happening made her heart ache. She pushed aside the last lingering hope of Shu returning to her, flinging it away forever.

"You need him, Shu," she choked out. "You really do. And you need to make a decision about what you really want."

Shuichi turned his head aside refusing to look at her, his anger fading from his face. "I'm doing fine on my own," he muttered.

"Really? When just knowing he's not here is upsetting your judgment and affecting your work? That's not fine. If you want to move forward you need to sort out what path you intend to walk and with whom. You can't sit at the crossroads any longer waiting for something to happen all on its own. It's time you took control and made it happen yourself."

Silence settled between them, then Shu spoke. "So what should I do?" he asked, sincerity in his voice.

Annette shrugged. "That's your decision," she answered. "First thing is to see him. The rest is then up to you."

She turned and headed for her bedroom. "Oh, and by the way I'll be going with you." She looked back with a grin seeing the surprise on his face. "I've got to get ready for next semester so there's plenty to do. Holiday's are over for me!"

"You really have to go?" Shu asked unthinkingly.

Annette clamped down on the surge in her heart at his words, knowing that he didn't mean them in the way that she hoped. She dredged up a smile to hide her hurt.

"'Course I do," she said. "You're not the only one who has things to do. So I'll be leaving you in New York. Knock 'em dead, okay?"

She gazed upon Shu's seated form, trying to imprint this last sight of him in her mind before turning away. She closed the door tightly behind her then fell onto the bed, burying her face in the pillow so it could soak up the regretful tears. This time she knew would be the last she saw of Shuichi Shindou.

It was time for her to move on also.

-oOo-

"So what's this for?" Hiro said looking at the small box, brightly wrapped with a blue bow no less perched on the top.

"Just take it," Shuichi mumbled, looking embarrassed.

"Is it going to explode?" Suguru asked seriously, staring at a similar box with a green bow attached, hands carefully folded in his lap and far away from the object of his scrutiny.

Shuichi frowned at him fiercely. "Don't be stupid," he growled. "As if I would do something like that!"

"Yeah, you're right," Hiro said with a smile reaching for the box and tugging at the bow.

"That's true," Suguru agreed, mirroring the action. "You're not smart enough to rig that up. Now if it were K…."

"That," Shuichi snarled, glaring at his keyboardist. "is not a compliment by any stretch of the imagination."

"It wasn't supposed to be," Suguru said, looking up at him. "I'm merely stating a fact."

Shuichi just continued to glare at him.

"Wow, Shu," Hiro exclaimed, looking inside the box. "This is just great!" He looked at his friend. "Come on, you've got to tell me what this is for."

"Well," Shuichi ran a hand through his hair, eyes flicking off to the side as his face brightened. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry for acting like such a jerk lately."

"You hardly need to apologise for that," Suguru put in, removing the lid of his gift carefully. "That's pretty normal."

"You can give it back right now!" Shuichi snapped, reaching out as though to take it.

Suguru's eyes widened as he looked at what lay inside the box and he swiftly snatched it out of Shuichi's reach. "No!" he said with feeling. He held the box carefully in both hands, almost cradling it against his chest.

Hiro looked at his younger friend, one eyebrow lifted. "What is it?" he asked curiously. It wasn't often that they saw Suguru acting so emotional.

Suguru looked for one moment like he wasn't going to say anything but then slowly he held the box out for Hiro's perusal.

"Ah," was all Hiro said.

Nestled in the protective tissue paper was an earring; perfectly circular, no doubt real gold, and hanging from it was a large glittering emerald. It would suit Suguru perfectly, Hiro thought. Few people even noticed that Suguru now had his ear pierced. Fewer still knew of the true meaning behind that gesture which was so unlike the normally straight-laced keyboardist. That was what made this present so perfect. It was an earring given by Shuichi, one of the people who did know why Suguru had suddenly got his ear pierced and who appreciated why he had done so. That acknowledgement would have meant more to Suguru than a million other presents.

Hiro glanced back at his own gift. His was no different. Inside was a guitar pick, swirling ornate etchings covering the shining surface. Nothing out of the ordinary one would think except this was made of silver titanium; very durable, extremely expensive and something he had wanted for a long time. It really was just the perfect girft.

He raised his eyes to meet Shuichi's and smiled. "Thanks, Shu," he said. "But you didn't have to, you know."

Shuichi's hands clenched into fists on his knees for a moment before relaxing as he sighed. "Yes, I did," he said. "I've been a complete jerk this whole time and I've left the two of you to do everything when I should have been helping."

"So does that mean you're over your tantrum and are coming?" Suguru asked.

Shuichi threw him a sour look which he didn't notice as he was still looking down at the box in his hands admiring his present. Shuichi sighed again. There was no point getting mad. That was just Suguru all over.

"Yeah, I'm over it," he finally replied, smiling ruefully. "I know you've basically finished but if there's anything you need me to do just tell me."

"Nah, I think we're good to go," Hiro said calmly, lighting a cigarette. "And it wasn't like we had a hell of a lot to do really. Most of it's handled by Sakano and K."

From the corner of his eye Shuichi saw Suguru's head come up as he opened his mouth as though to say something but then he closed it without saying a word. Shuichi appreciated what they were both trying to do, pretending that they hadn't been working their guts out to have everything organized to Tohma Seguchi's exacting standards. They really were the best friends he could possibly have.

"So what made you change your mind?" Hiro asked, twirling his new pick in his fingers, admiring the way the light was captured by it. Pretty.

"Uhm, Annette sort of kicked my arse about it," Shuichi admitted.

"Really?" Hiro was surprised. He wouldn't have thought Annette would have butted in, not about this at least. He'd gathered from Ayaka that Annette still had feelings for Shuichi so he would have thought she would have been happy to see him so adamant about not going.

"Yeah," Shuichi continued. "She pretty much told me that I was being a fool to pass up this chance. And that I was being the biggest jerk out to everyone."

"I always said she was a smart girl," Suguru stated, meeting Shuichi's eyes. "You know, she's far too good for you."

"Hey!" Shuichi exclaimed. "That's hardly fair! We dated you know!"

"I know," Suguru responded calmly. "I just never knew what she saw in you. I'm sure it was bound to end sooner or later even if you didn't get your memories back. She's got far too much sense to put up with you forever."

"That's a bit harsh, don't you think?" Hiro put in quietly, wondering if this would generate into a proper fight. Suguru seemed to be deliberately baiting Shuichi.

Suguru looked across to him and then back to Shuichi. "I'm not trying to say this to be hurtful," he stated.

He lifted the earring out and held it up between his finger and thumb, the emerald catching the light as he continued to watch Shuichi. "All I'm saying is that no matter what, eventually you would have come back to this life in some way. There's no way you could have stayed away forever, so you would have come back to us somehow. I think Annette realizes that too. She's a strong girl and not the sort to just hang around or go along with someone else's dream at the cost of her own so you would have drifted apart sooner or later."

Shuichi watched as Suguru reached up and took out his regular earring, slipping the new one into place. He then met Shuichi's eyes again with that steady gaze that was so similar to Tohma's.

"You," Suguru said firmly. "Belong to us, and Bad Luck. There is no where else you can be."

Shuichi felt tears pricking in his eyes at Suguru's words. His friend may often have a strange way of showing how much he cared but there was no way Shuichi could doubt the depth of his feelings.

"Can't say much more than that, can we?" Hiro's soft voice added, drawing Shuichi's gaze to him. He smiled at Shuichi. "Didn't we say we were going to take on the world some day?"

Shuichi threw back his head with a laugh, feeling his heart filling with a fierce happiness. He looked at both his friends with a broad smile. "You bet!"

-oOo-

"Why are you taking Tats?" Mika wanted to know as she watched her husband pack the last of the items neatly laid out on the bed.

He smiled up at her as he zipped the bag closed. "I felt it might be good for him to have a change."

She scrutinised him closely, one brow rising. "I admit he has seemed out of sorts for a while now." She snorted indelicately. "He's been acting more of a brat than Eiri usually does!"

Tohma's smile broadened as he chuckled. "I'm sure Tatsuha would deny that," he said, walking towards where she stood at the door.

"Probably," she agreed. "But it's still true." She met her husband's eyes as he stopped before her. "So what's really up?"

He paused for a heartbeat as though intending to not answer when the glint in Mika's steel grey eyes warned him not to try and avoid her query. "I think," he said carefully, "that Tatsuha is experiencing an…emotional crisis."

"Crisis?" Mika looked surprised. "Over what?"

"Ryuichi may be at the centre of it."

"What's that idiot done now?!" Mika bristled, rising to the defence of her younger sibling.

Tohma soothed her immediately. "Nothing," he assured her. "Ryuichi has kept his word and never encouraged things."

Mika calmed. She was fully aware of her youngest brother's infatuation with the charismatic Ryuichi Sakuma which had started from a very young age. She had expected him to grow out of it but that hadn't happened. So the only thing she could do was to warn Ryuichi off. Tohma's friend had accepted her demand easily and she had never had any cause for concern since.

"So if Ryu hasn't done anything why do you think he's got something to do with Tats' behaviour?"

"It's precisely because Ryuichi hasn't done anything that things have come to this point," Tohma explained. "Tatsuha has pursued and worshipped Ryuichi from afar all these years during which he frequently came to meet him at various times through Ryuichi's association with myself and Noriko. However this extended stay of Ryu's in America has been the longest Tatsuha has gone without seeing him. That absence appears to have upset him."

"So is it really a good idea then to take him with you?" Mika asked. "Wouldn't that just make him worse?"

"I think it is high time that Tatsuha determined truly what his feelings for Ryuichi are," Tohma replied. "Hero worship is one thing, but if that is all it is Tatsuha needs to let it go and move on."

"And if it's not?" Mika queried.

Tohma smiled warmly at her. "Then he needs to make some other decisions in his life. Can you accept that?"

Mika was silent for a moment, one long varnished fingernail tapping at her pursed lips, a small frown on her brow as she thought it through. "What's Ryuichi think of all this?" she finally asked.

Tohma shrugged. "You know how Ryuichi is," he said. "I don't intend to pry into his affairs. This is something that the two of them must determine for themselves."

Mika frowned further but didn't say anything immediately instead she pushed away from the wall and headed for the front door, Tohma following with his bag.

She turned as she opened the door. "Well, look after him," she said. "And try to keep him out of trouble. You know what he's like."

"I will," Tohma promised.

"And tell Ryuichi," she continued as he stepped over the threshold. He turned to face her, seeing the firm set of her mouth. "That if he does anything to hurt Tatsuha he'll have me to deal with."

Tohma smiled as he leant in to place a warm kiss on her cheek. "I'll do so," he said.

He dropped his hand to rest it on the slight swelling of her abdomen, feeling that rush of pleasure in knowing that he would soon be a father again. "You take care also," he told her.

"Of course," she said, placing her hand over his and holding it there for a moment longer before releasing him. "Don't be away too long this time," she said as he stepped back. "Hurry up and get those two idiots together."

"Which two would that be?" Tohma asked with a smile. "Tatsuha and Ryuichi; or Eiri and Shindou?"

"Any of them; all of them," She waved her hand in a gesture of uncaring. "Whatever."

"Whatever? So Eiri and Ryuichi would do as well?" he teased.

The disgusted look she gave him made him laugh.

"You'll miss your plane," was all she said.

"I'll call when I get there," he replied as he walked away. He heard the door shut firmly behind.

As he settled into the back of the taxi he pulled out his phone and sent a quick text off to Ryuichi. The message was short and simple, "I'm on my way", then he leant back comfortably. Soon, soon they would be in New York.

Then the fun would begin.


	23. Chapter 23

**Title**: Unlocking My Love

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings:** some bad language

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, apart from Jim Harris and Annette; they belong to the creator of 'Gravitation'.

Chapter 23

"So how's it feel to be back here?" Hiro asked, watching Shuichi stare out the window of their car as they headed from the airport.

"Strange," was Shuichi's muted answer.

Hiro didn't press the issue, just glanced at Suguru who sat opposite them, noting he too was closely watching Shuichi. Hiro had wondered how Shu would feel about coming back here. He didn't really know that much about what Shu had gone through when he was here but he guessed it probably held some important memories for his friend. He just hoped there were no memories here that would disturb Shuichi so much that he wouldn't be able to go through with the concert.

Shuichi then leant forward abruptly and rapped on the partition behind Suguru. It slid open and K looked in at them.

"What's up, kiddo?" K queried with a wide smile.

"Hey, any chance that we could make a side trip before getting to the hotel?" Shuichi asked.

K raised one eyebrow, the only sign of surprise and then shrugged. "Let me check with the boss first," he said, reaching inside his coat. The members of Bad Luck shrank away automatically but the only thing he produced was a hand-held two-way radio. He spoke quietly into it for a moment, nodded and then turned back to Shuichi.

"Tohma said it's fine if it's not too distant and you don't stay too long," he said, laying out the conditions.

Shuichi nodded acceptance. "That's fine. Where I want to go isn't that much out of our way." He gave the address which K repeated to their driver and soon they headed deeper into the suburbs before finally pulling up outside an apartment block.

Shuichi was the first to get out, pausing to look up at the building for a moment.

"You okay, Shu?" Hiro queried softly.

Shuichi looked down at him then smiled. "Yeah," he said, stepping aside so Hiro could exit, closely followed by Suguru.

"So why are we here?" Suguru asked, craning his head back to look up at the top of the building before them.

"I want to see some old friends," Shuichi answered, walking forward.

"Do you want us to wait here?" Hiro asked, not moving, thinking Shuichi might be more at ease meeting people from his past life without their confusing presence.

"Nah, it's okay," Shuichi answered. He tossed a smile over his shoulder at his friends. "I want you to meet them; they're my old band." He frowned at K for a moment. "But can you try to restrain yourself and not pull out your guns? They would probably find that a bit freaky."

K suppressed a smirk. "I'll do my best," he said with a straight face,.

Shuichi just snorted as though not believing it but turned to continue up the steps. He put his hand on the door and turned the handle.

"Don't you need a code to get in?" Suguru queried, noting the mechanism.

Shuichi grinned at him, jiggling the handle and then giving the door a hard bump with his shoulder under which the door suddenly swung open. "That's the way to get in if you forget the code," he said, pushing it wider and entering. "It was always a dodgy lock and sometimes would get stuck and not open when you used the code so we all had to figure out how to get past it or be stuck out on the pavement."

He thumbed the elevator button and tipped his head back to watch it descend. Hiro saw the almost nostalgic smile as the elevator let out a loud screech, startling the rest of them and making them jump. Only Shuichi didn't react. Obviously he had remembered and expected it.

When it arrived the four of them only just managed to squeeze into the small space provided.

"Cosy, isn't it?" Suguru muttered, trying to avoid K's elbow digging into his kidney. However to move away from K forced him closer to Hiro facing him and he felt a little uncomfortable, face flushing, as their pelvises nudged closer.

Shuichi grinned at him from the other side. "You should try getting in here with musical instruments as well," he said. "I had an almost very unpleasant encounter with the neck of a guitar one time. Now that could have caused some serious damage."

Hiro chuckled, "Or the best time of your life," he put in.

Shuichi punched him lightly which his friend return and K stepped in before it could get out of hand completely in such confined space. "Steady on, boys. I know we're all friends here but in this situation something's liable to 'come up' and I don't want little Suguru here to get 'christened' unexpectedly."

Suguru blushed hard as Shuichi crowed with laughter, and he could feel Hiro's deep chuckle in the broad chest before him as his hair ruffled with Hiro's breath. He may not swing that way but he couldn't deny that being in such close confines with a sexy guy like Hiro did kind of make his pulse race. He pushed that thought aside, trying to imagine pink elephants in tutus, or anything to take his mind from that path.

Luckily he was saved from further embarrassment as the elevator jerked abruptly to a stop, lurching to one side which threw them all against each other, Shuichi plastered against the doors which suddenly opened, spilling them all into the corridor. Shuichi adroitly side-stepped, having the advantage over the others with his background knowledge, and watched the rest of them fall in a pile on the floor, Suguru sandwiched between the taller Hiro and K.

"Come on you lot," Shuichi instructed, turning away. "No time for an orgy."

Suguru hurriedly wriggled out from between the other two, his face hot and body feeling uncomfortable. That was little too close for his liking. He swiftly caught up with Shuichi, taking a deep breath to slow his racing heart.

They had almost reached the end of the corridor when Shuichi stopped in front of one of the doors. He reached up and rapped loudly on the wood panel. There was no immediate response so Shuichi knocked again, louder this time. Still no answer.

"Perhaps they're not home?" Suguru commented. "We can always come back later."

Shuichi was frowning, chewing on his bottom lip before lifting his hand and knocking again, only this time it had a different rhythm. Suddenly the door was flung open and hands stretched out to grab Shuichi, pulling him forward. K reached out in alarm, one hand grasping for his gun in its holster, perhaps fearing that his charge was being kidnapped but a loud cry of "Shu!" from further in the apartment made him pause. Obviously these people knew Shuichi well.

They stood back as Shuichi was engulfed in a hug by a young man with long blond hair pulled back into a pony tail who towered over Shuichi's smaller frame. Another person was wrapped around him also, only a little taller than Shu, short jet black hair leaning against Shuichi's orange-streaked strands, completing the three way embrace.

Suddenly they all parted, although the taller man didn't let go of Shuichi's shoulders, staring down at him. "Geez, man! What are you doing here?!" he said. "Last we heard from you was that you took off to Japan to sing and stuff and nothing since except a couple of texts. What the hell kind of "staying in contact" do you call that?!"

"Yeah," the other young man said, yanking on Shuichi's long hair, a frown on his oriental features. "You told us you would let us know what was going on but we couldn't make heads or tails of most of the stuff you said."

"Ow!" Shuichi uttered, wincing at the pulling and reaching up to extract his hair from the grip. "Look, I told you that I was in a band again," he explained in heavily accented and slightly broken English.

"Yeah, but you didn't tell us what one!"

"Didn't I?" Shuichi stared back at them with wide, surprised eyes.

The taller man rolled his eyes heavenward and shook his head. "Shu, you are as dense as ever. I thought getting your memories back would have made you smarter."

"No," Suguru then said in carefully pronounced English. "It just meant that Shuichi returned to normal. That already included the stupidity."

"And who asked you for your opinion?" Shuichi growled in Japanese, glaring at Suguru who just shrugged.

"So who are these dudes?" the tall man said, looking them all up and down, eyes settling on Hiro. He tipped his head to one side and said, "Guitar?" to which Hiro grinned and nodded.

"How do you always do that?" Shuichi complained, looking at his old band member. "You always could pick the guitar players. Do you guys have a secret sign or something so you recognise each other?"

His friend shrugged with a smile, "Nah, nothing like that. You just know somehow." Hiro nodded agreement, smiling back.

"So are you going to introduce them or do we have to somehow guess?" the Asian youth asked.

"Yeah, yeah," Shuichi huffed, turning around fully to face the Japanese contingent whilst his previous American group draped arms over his shoulders. "Hiro, guitarist; Suguru, keyboardist; and K, uhm,,, manager...sort of," he said, pointing at each in turn. "These two are Troy, guitarist," indicating the tall man to his left, "and Kim Kyung-Bin, drummer," pointing to the Asian youth. "I used to be on keyboards."

"And sing," Troy put in, ruffling Shuichi's hair.

"Cut it out," Shuichi swatted the hand away. "Anyway, what's the big idea in not answering the door, huh?"

Troy rubbed the back of his neck, looking a little sheepish. "Well, we're kind of late in the rent this month," he said. "So we're dodging the landlord at the moment."

"That's how we knew it had to be you 'cause you are the only other person who knew our signal," Kim added.

"Thought so," Shuichi said, grinning. "How much do you need?"

Troy looked shocked as Shuichi reached into his pocket. "Hey, we're not after handouts!" he said hurriedly. "We've both got pays coming to us soon which will cover it. We just had a few other things come up this month that cleaned out the savings. We'll clear it in another week and be fine after."

Hiro was relieved to hear this as for a moment he had been concerned that these 'old' friends of Shu's might only be after his money now he was famous. However it didn't seem to be the case.

"Come on in quickly before the landlord finds out we're home after all," Kim said glancing down the corridor and hustled them inside.

"Take a seat any where you like," Troy said, waving around the room. Hiro glanced over the choice of furniture which consisted of an old two-seater sofa which K and Suguru claimed. Shuichi promptly sat on the floor, back resting against one end, obviously a familiar position for him. Hiro decided to mirror Shuichi's position, which left Kim to climb onto the small square kitchen table opposite and sit there cross-legged, whilst Troy perched on the edge so they all faced each other.

"So what brings you here?" Kim asked, resting an elbow on one knee, chin on hand and directing the question to Shuichi.

"What, can't I just drop in and see my friends?" Shuichi said with a grin.

"Hell of a wide detour from Japan for a coffee," Kim replied dryly.

Shuichi chuckled. "Yeah, it is kind of," he agreed. "I'm over here for work."

"The band?" Troy put in, looking at both Hiro and Suguru also.

"Yeah," Shuichi confirmed. "We're holding some concerts here soon and I wanted to ask if you would like to come and see."

"Sure," Troy said enthusiastically. "Just tell us where and when and we'll be there."

"You still haven't told us the name of your band," Kim reminded Shuichi.

"Oh, yeah. It's 'Bad Luck'."

Kim and Troy stared at him. "You're kidding me!" Troy said in a strained voice.

"Uhm, no," Shuichi responded, not understanding his friend's shock.

"That's really you lot?" Kim said, sounding a little disbelieving.

"Uh, huh," Shuichi nodded. "Have you heard of us?"

"Hell, yeah!" was Troy and Kim's reply in unison.

"Your music's been playing in some of the underground clubs around here for months now," Kim put in.

"I heard someone say that it began in Canada somewhere and filtered down to here. You've got quite a following in a number of the places." Troy explained.

"And there's been a heap of advertising over the past week about you heading here for some big concerts."

"Ah," Shuichi said, realising that Tohma had obviously been involved in arranging the advertising. However, he doubted NG's president had anything to do with their songs playing in the clubs. He guessed that the downloads he'd left back in Quebec at the club had continued to be played. It felt a little strange to realise that so many more people had been listening to their music and they hadn't even known about it.

"So you mean you're really going to give us tickets to see you live?" Troy said excitedly.

Shuichi nodded. "It's the least I could do when you both took care of me before," he said with a smile.

"Hey, you helped us out as well. You were the best lead singer we had." He grimaced a little. "We had a hell of a time finding a replacement at first."

"So you're still playing?"

"Yep," Troy said with a proud smile. "Though we've changed a little after you left. We've got another guy on guitar, a bass player and a real sexy singer!"

"And she sings pretty good too, just to show that it's not all just about looks," Kim added with a frown at Troy. "He and Susie are dating now," he explained. "That's why he's so ga-ga over her."

"Well, that's great!" Shuichi said happily. "When's your next gig? I want to see!"

"We've got something lined up in two weeks if you're still going to be around and are free?" Kim said.

"Let me know," Shuichi said, "and I'll really try and make it."

"Ahem," K suddenly cleared his throat loudly interrupting them. He smiled. "I hate to cut this short but I've got to get these boys to the hotel before our boss sends out a search party."

"Oh, right," Shuichi said reluctantly, remembering he had promised he wouldn't remain away long. They all stood and headed for the door, pausing as Kim carefully checked the corridor in case their persistent landlord had appeared seeking the elusive rent, then stepping into the corridor at Kim's all clear.

"I'll be in touch with the tickets," Shuichi promised his friends.

"You'd better not forget," Troy threatened.

"I'll make sure he remembers," K assured them. "It was nice to have met you both."

"Yeah, likewise," Troy replied.

Handshakes were given all round and then Bad Luck trooped back to the patiently waiting car and headed for the hotel. Tohma was in the foyer, obviously waiting for them but he didn't say anything, just smiling and handing out their keys with the admonishment to get a good night's sleep as tomorrow would be a busy day.

Shuichi flopped down face first onto the large king size bed. He gathered a pillow under his arms, resting his chin on the soft form, legs absently kicking against the mattress. It was nice to see Troy and Kim again. He hadn't known how he would feel seeing them in person after getting his memories back. He had wondered if he would feel differently about them, or he would seem like a stranger to them but it had been like nothing had changed.

He felt that weird sensation again of being two people crammed into one body. It had been a long time since he had thought about being 'Shu Chan'. He had been just Shuichi Shindou for a while now and his previous persona had slipped away. 'Shu Chan' had no place in Japan so it wasn't surprising. But now that he was back in America he felt like 'Shu Chan' was trying to resurface, reclaim his place. It unnerved him. Would he submit and return to being 'Shu Chan' and that life? Is that what he wanted? Would he be able to stop it?

He rolled over onto his back and stretched out, arms and legs reaching for the corners with no chance of actually reaching. He always felt a little lost in beds this size. With his small stature you could fit four of him in this bed and still be fairly comfortable, or all three members of Bad Luck at least. He'd often shared a crowded futon with Hiro whilst they were growing up.

He gnawed at his bottom lip, still looking up at the blank ceiling above, noting the tiny hairline cracks crazing across the plaster. No, he didn't want to be 'Shu Chan'. He was Shuichi Shindou and he liked being Shuichi Shindou. 'Shu Chan' had been a necessary part of his life at that time but he didn't want to return to being that person. 'Shu Chan' wasn't the singer of Bad Luck which was his entire life. 'Shu Chan' didn't have a great, supportive family. 'Shu Chan' didn't have friends like Hiro and Suguru, or K and Sakano.

Shuichi stretched again, still not able to touch the sides though relishing in the comfort provided. Eiri would like this bed, he thought, bouncing a little and feeling the spring in the mattress. He continued to absently bounce there.

That was something else that 'Shu Chan' didn't have – Eiri Yuki. 'Shu Chan' would never meet Yuki, never talk to him, never see him... never kiss him, a soft whisper said in his mind and he felt his face flush.

He dropped an arm over his eyes in embarrassment, hiding his view of the room. Damn it, why couldn't he forget the man! 'Shu Chan' wouldn't have this problem! His life was completely Yuki free!

But even as he thought that Shuichi felt a pang inside. He had accepted that he didn't want to be 'Shu Chan', so therefore he had to accept everything that Shuichi Shindou was and had. And that included whatever his relationship with Yuki was, in all its frustrations and confusion.

He turned onto his side, drawing his knees up a little. Yuki was here somewhere so tomorrow he would find out where.

oOo-

"So things are going well?" Tohma said into the phone cradled between his shoulder and chin as he fastened the cuff of his shirt.

Yuki's voice came through the phone clearly. "So far."He didn't expand any further and Tohma just smiled to himself.

"That's good then," he replied, turning to the other cuff. He was waiting for the one question that he knew that Yuki was dying to ask which so far in the conversation hadn't been. The pause lengthened and he refused to fill it, letting it draw out. Finally he was rewarded with Yuki clearing his throat loudly before speaking.

"So... how is...the preparations going?"

Tohma was amused. How like Yuki to refuse to say outright what he really wanted to know. Tohma was tempted to torment him a little longer but decided he didn't have time. He had a promotional party to get to and he couldn't afford to be late.

"It's going fine," he said, shrugging into his jacket. "Shuichi has been working hard in putting together the compilation for the show. He's thrown himself into his work rather enthusiastically." He waited to see if Eiri would respond to this but there was nothing. Tohma sighed softly. Eiri was being rather boring tonight; not biting as he usually would. Perhaps this separation from Shuichi was taking its toll? "Shall I tell him where you are?"

"Ah..." Eiri hesitated and Tohma wondered if he would chicken out again. It would be the third time since his arrival in America that his conversations with Eiri had resulted in a stalemate on this question. He also knew that Eiri hadn't directly contacted Shuichi yet which was irritating his lead singer no end. Surprisingly though Eiri's response was, "I...suppose you can. Tell him I'll see him when I get back."

"Of course," Tohma agreed. "I'll be happy to pass the message on."

He could already imagine the explosion of anger that he would get from Shuichi with this second-hand message. It had been dramatic enough when Shuichi had approached him the day after their arrival to ask where Eiri could be located (not asking if Tohma knew, but accepting that of course Tohma did). Upon hearing that Eiri had left the day prior to begin a week of book signings outside of New York Shuichi's tantrum had been something to behold. Tohma thought it might just have been his best to date.

So Shuichi had not been happy at all that firstly Eiri had left before he arrived; secondly, that he had left without speaking to him or leaving him a message; and thirdly that Tohma wouldn't tell him anything further about where exactly Eiri was or when he would be back. Although Eiri had requested that Shuichi not be informed, it was also a precaution that Tohma was happy to take to ensure that his lead singer did not suddenly get the mad idea into his head to take off after Eiri. Tohma didn't need the headache of trying to track down his wayward singer at this crucial point.

However, now that Eiri had given permission to let Shuichi know of his whereabouts Tohma would need to keep a close eye on him although he thought the danger point had passed. Shuichi was fully committed to the concerts now and was unlikely to jeopardise things – at least not completely. Still Tohma was interested to see just what Shuichi's response might be. Ah well, at least Eiri was actually giving him a message at all.

"I've got to go," Eiri said abruptly as though suddenly embarrassed at his capitulation.

"I also," Tohma replied. "Call me when you are returning and I'll let you know where to find us."

"Right," and Eiri hung up.

Tohma snapped the phone shut, staring at it for a moment.

"So what excuses does he have this time?"

Tohma turned to face the speaker, sprawled untidily in one of the plush armchairs in his room. "Actually none," he said calmly, slipping the phone into his pocket. "He was rather…tame tonight."

Tatsuha let out a bark of laughter. "You mean bro didn't bite once?" he grinned at his brother-in-law. "You must be losing your touch, Tohma."

Tohma just shrugged with a calm smile, refusing to be goaded by the youngster. Tatsuha had a long way to go to be able to best him. Not that it stopped the young man from trying. He turned and checked his appearance in the full length mirror. Yes, that should do, he thought, turning to each side. He could see Tatsuha behind him in the mirror, now staring out the balcony door at the darkness beyond, a pensive look on his face.

Tohma watched him for a time longer, pondering. Tatsuha had done very little out of the ordinary since his arrival in New York. He had gone out and done some sight seeing around the city, accompanied at all times as Tohma didn't want to lose him. Mika would never forgive him if that happened. He had come to the concert venue a number of times but that was it. He wasn't even hanging out with the members of Bad Luck which seemed strange considering he had always got along with them, especially Shuichi, a fellow Nittle Grasper fan. In fact, he had been unusually subdued since his arrival which was almost alien behaviour for Tatsuha.

Tohma turned from the mirror and walked over to the coffee table, reaching down to pick up his hat. "Are you sure you don't wish to change your mind?" he asked almost nonchalantly.

He settled the hat carefully on his head, taking care to not appear to be watching Tatsuha. He saw the young man start a little, a quick worried frown crease his brow before he schooled his expression into his more easy-going manner.

"Naw," he drawled, grinning. "It's just going to be the usual boring stuff; everyone fawning all over you, saying how great Nittle Grasper are and everything."

"You don't think we are?" Tohma raised an eyebrow at him, smiling.

Tatsuha waved the comment aside. "The difference is I know you are great!" he declared. His smile grew broader. "And I'm one up on any of them since you're actually related to me now!"

"Show off," Tohma commented with humour. "Still, you would be able to spend some time with Shuichi and the others. And don't you want to say hello to Noriko and Ryuichi since they've just arrived?"

Tatsuha turned his head aside quickly but not fast enough for Tohma not to see the flush that touched his cheeks. "It's not really a big deal," he said hurriedly. "I'll have plenty of opportunities to see them at other times."

"Hmm," Tohma murmured. He was very puzzled by Tatsuha's behaviour. He had expected the youth to be more than eager to meet his idol, Ryuichi Sakuma, again yet instead he almost seemed to be trying to avoid him. Which was totally unlike his usual pushy self. Tohma made a mental note to himself to ponder this further afterwards.

"Well, have a good night then," was all he did say, heading for the door.

"You too," was Tatsuha's response.

Opening the door, he found Sakano already waiting on the other side attentively.

"Is everything ready?" he absently asked as he strode past his aide and down the corridor.

"All is as you requested," Sakano replied, opening the door for Tohma to walk through unimpeded. "K just called to say that all the members of Bad Luck are also present and accounted for."

"Good," Tohma nodded approvingly. This night should go well for them and his plans were coming together nicely where the concert was concerned. He even felt that perhaps there was beginning to be a little progress with Eiri and Shuichi also, although that still remained to be seen once Eiri returned to New York and they were at least both in the same city!

The car pulled up smoothly outside the skyscraper and Sakano swiftly exited to open the back door for Tohma who paused for a moment to appraise the surroundings before putting on his most professional and bright smile for the flashing cameras.

He walked calmly along the red carpet rolled over the pavement, an audacious, yet striking, touch that he appreciated. He paused a few times at the shouted requests of the paparazzi, smiling and posing for moment before moving on, Sakano remaining silently behind him. He turned at the glass front doors, flanked on either side by large burly security guards clad ominously in black, to give a last wave to the gathered crowd and then swept through as the doors swung open to admit him.

"Quite a performance," a voice said as he entered.

He smiled, not altering his stride, which took him directly towards Noriko so he could draw her in to a warm hug.

"I always try to give the public what they want," he replied, releasing her.

"Humph!" she snorted in amusement, flicking her hair back from her shoulder. She kept it shorter than she used to, only just reaching past her shoulders when down. Tohma found he rather liked it like that. It added a maturity and appearance of confidence to her face than what had been her usual pigtails. "You always did know how to play a crowd!"

"That's what he does best," and Tohma turned to face a smiling Ryuichi. They clasped each other tightly, holding the cinch for a long time.

"Okay, okay, that's enough, boys," Noriko said, reaching forward to break them up. "You've still got an audience remember?", nodding towards the glass frontage where flashes where flaring madly as the crowd jostled to take the best photo of the first reunion of the members of Nittle Grasper in New York. Not to mention the sought after photos of Tohma Seguchi and Ryuichi Sakuma in compromising positions which always added fuel to the rumours of just what their relationship had been or still was.

Ryuichi waved broadly to the crowd on the other side of the glass, draping his arm around Tohma's shoulders and pulling him closely to his side, his hand hanging loosely to rest on Tohma's chest, long fingers running through the fur trimming in what could only be called a suggestive manner.

Noriko just rolled her eyes at this display and then Ryuichi let out a loud laugh before releasing Tohma and turning to face her, grinning.

"So do I do as well as Tohma?" he wanted to know, his smile broad and dark eyes twinkling with mischief.

Noriko couldn't help smiling back at him. "You do okay," she said, reaching out and giving his ear a tug. "Now come on, you two," she turned and headed for the elevators lined against the side wall. "We can't keep the guests waiting too long."

Tohma and Ryuichi followed, the elevator doors swishing open as they arrived and they all entered together.

"So how are things going?" Tohma asked his two friends. It had been some time since he had seen either of them in person.

"We're a star!" Ryuichi stated loudly, chuckling. "Me and Kumagoro!"

"And where is Kumagoro tonight?" Tohma questioned, actually curious. He didn't think that Ryuichi would have come to such event without the stuffed toy. Perhaps it was a good sign if he had.

Ryuichi's hand snaked inside his long black leather coat and a splash of pink appeared, stark against the dark colour. The rabbit-like face stared up at Tohma while Ryuichi continued to grin. "He's right here!" he said proudly. His voice dropped to a stage whisper. "All the lights outside scared Kumagoro a little so we hid him. He didn't even come out when the camera men asked for him." He was obviously pleased with this deception.

"Is Kumagoro going to stay hidden all night?" Tohma asked mildly. He wasn't particularly bothered if the toy wasn't. He was quite used to Kumagoro's presence and he didn't care if any of their guests might think it a little…odd. If it made Ryuichi happy that was all that mattered.

"Perhaps…perhaps," Ryuichi said in a sing-song voice, making Kumagoro's arms wave at Tohma. "But Kumagoro really wants to say hello to Shuichi."

"Then by all means he must do so," Tohma replied, noting they were drawing closer to their level. He smiled at Ryiuichi. "I'm sure Shuichi is looking forward to it also."

Noriko sniffed. "Just keep Kuma under control," she warned, giving Ryuichi a sharp look. "This is a very important event, not just for us, but for Bad Luck. It would really hurt Shuichi if this got messed up."

Ryuichi pouted, looking upset, and hugged Kumagoro tightly to his chest. "Kumagoro wouldn't do anything bad!" he defended his toy. He squeezed it tighter, his bottom lip trembling. "Kuma wouldn't do anything to hurt Shuichi. We want to see Shuichi shine even brighter!"

"There, there," Noriko said in a calm voice, patting his arm soothingly. She smiled at him and reached up to gently wipe away the traces of moisture building at the corner of his eyes and then lightly patted Kumagoro's head. "I know you care about Shuichi, Ryu. I just don't want you getting too excited about everything. There are a lot of people here who may not understand so I'm just worried about you."

"Noriko's worried about me?" Ryuichi said, tilting his head to one side as he looked at her. He smiled brightly and abruptly threw his arms around her, hugging her hard. "I'm fine," he whispered in a low voice into her hair. "I promise you I am fine and I'll be careful."

Ryuichi released her just as quickly, spinning away and pirouetting, swinging Kumagoro around in circles. "See!" he crowed, laughing. "Kumagoro wants to dance as well! He wants to see Shuichi shine tonight!"

The elevator pinged and Tohma extended his arm towards Noriko to lead her out, Ryuichi following closely behind. They could hear the hum of the crowd as they walked down the corridor, able to already see the milling people through the open doorway of the function room in the distance.

"So," Tohma said, halting his stride. "Are we ready for this?"

On his right Noriko shook back her hair before lifting her chin and giving Tohma a quick look. "What do you think?" she said with a wink and a crooked smile.

Ryuichi stepped up to flank him on the left, leather coat curling around his legs as he moved, pink Kumagoro no-where to be seen once more. He inhaled loudly, letting it out in a low laugh as he met Tohma's eyes. "Let's do it," he said with a feral grin.

Tohma's smile also held a sharp edge as he felt the familiar rush of adrenalin surging through his body. He shook his shoulders, reaching up to straighten his hat.

"It's show time," he said softly, stepping forward in unison with Ryuichi and Noriko.

-oOo-

Shuichi sat up and threw a third pillow across the dark room in frustration as sleep continued to elude him. It wasn't a problem losing the pillow, there was a multitude of pillows and cushions on his large bed so it could afford to lose a few. Besides he needed some way to vent. Another pillow sailed through the air.

Tomorrow Yuki returned to New York. Tomorrow he would finally get to see him after all this time with barely any contact, and days before Tohma even would tell him where Yuki was! Tomorrow he would finally be able to find out why the man had run away from him without a word.

Shuichi punched the pillow nearest him violently. Tomorrow he would snot the bastard for leaving like that, he growled internally.

He flopped down on his back on the bed again with a loud sigh. He didn't really know how he would react when he saw Yuki. As it drew closer to the day of Yuki's arrival his dreams had taken a new turn. Instead of strangling Yuki he was doing far different things with him – things that made him moan and sweat and wake up with very different problems and a clean up required as well.

Rolling over he buried his face in the pillow, both fists punching the others on either side of his head, trying to erase those vivid thoughts. How could he be missing that when they had barely kissed since his return to Japan? But somewhere in his mind he obviously was and his body certainly seemed to crave it if his imagination was anything to go by. Still, Shuichi was resolved not to just go with these feelings, not unless he was absolutely certain that it was something that Yuki also wanted and was committed to. Shuichi didn't want to continue a relationship where he never knew if his partner was going to just up and disappear on him. Again!

Shuichi rolled back over and tried to get comfortable, sighing again, knowing that sleep was still far away for him. Damn that man!

-oOo-

The last notes of the song faded away and Shuichi jumped down from the stage, gratefully accepting the towel that Annette held out for him and wiping away the sweat from his brow.

"That looked really good," Annette said, smiling at him and extending it also to include Hiro and Suguru who joined them.

"I'm still not doing any back flips," Suguru stated firmly, sitting on the edge of the stage, legs dangling. He nodded thanks as he took the proffered towel from Annette, neatly wiping his face down before folding it and setting it beside him.

"I think we can leave that to Shuichi now," Hiro said with a smile, rubbing his towel around the back of his neck. His long hair was tied up into a pony tail out of the way whilst they had practiced.

Their choreographer had been getting fired up more than usual and had been wanting to include more acrobatic moves into their stage show. Suguru and Hiro were far more cautious about such things; Suguru who had more sense than to put himself at risk doing something so unfamiliar, and Hiro whose tall, lanky frame wasn't quite as flexible as required to pull such stunts off. Shuichi, however, was all for it although even he had some restrictions due to his old injuries. It had taken a quiet word from Tohma to dampen the choreographer's eagerness although it hadn't managed to curb it completely.

Annette leant back against the stage next to where Suguru sat. "Well, I think you all looked great," she declared in support. "You were looking pretty slick up there."

"If we didn't we would hardly be doing our fans justice," Suguru stated.

Annette smiled at him. "Come on," she quietly chided him with a smile, nudging his leg. "You know you like doing it too."

Suguru half shrugged, not denying it.

"So how long a break do we have?" Hiro asked, stretching his long arms up.

"Half an hour," Suguru replied.

Shuichi yawned widely. "I need sleep!" he moaned.

"So what kept you up all night?" Hiro asked with a leer. "Jerking off?"

Shuichi glared at him, hoping his face wasn't changing colour as that was exactly what he had been doing - at least in his dreams, along with other things. It was too embarrassing to tell even his best friend and he certainly couldn't say it in front of his ex-girlfriend!

"I bet he was thinking about Yuki so much he couldn't sleep," Annette then said with a grin.

This time his face did flush as Hiro laughed and even Suguru quietly chuckled. He hadn't expected Annette to be so perceptive or so forthright.

"Yeah, I think you've got it right," Hiro said, still grinning.

"Speaking of," Suguru began, his eyes fixed over the tops of their heads towards the back of the stadium. "The one and same just walked in."

"WHAT??!"

Shuichi spun around so swiftly he almost gave himself whiplash, eyes searching through the shadows, finally settling on the single tall figure at the back, silhouetted in an open doorway.

For a moment it looked like the person was about to turn away but at Shuichi's loud, "YUKI!", it hesitated and then began to move towards them.

As Yuki drew near, Shuichi could make out those familiar features and suddenly his heart started pounding, harder and harder. He swallowed against a suddenly dry throat, palms growing sweaty as the man finally halted a few steps in front of them.

This tableau held in complete silence then Shuichi cleared his throat noisily and managed to utter a raspy, "Hi".

"Huh," was Yuki's response, hardly what Shuichi had been hoping for. He felt his anger begin to boil. Had he been the only one thinking about them, wanting more? Had he been making a fool of himself all this time?

"Hey, Yuki," Hiro said easily. "Where have you been?"

"Around," Yuki replied as he pulled out his cigarettes to light one.

"Are you done now?" Hiro continued. "I heard that you were promoting your books or something."

"The rest of my work will be here in New York," Yuki mumbled, eyes flicking back to Shuichi.

"So that means you'll be able to see the concert. That was good timing," Suguru put in.

"Yeah," was Yuki's reply.

"Say something, Shuichi," Annette said in a stage whisper, reaching out and poking him. She grinned at Yuki. "Don't mind him; he's just overwhelmed by the sight of your beauty."

"Oh, shut up," Shuichi said quickly without malice, turning to face her. "It's not like that!"

She smirked at him. "Oh, no? When you're standing there completely dumbstruck? Shouldn't you at least give him a kiss hello? Isn't that what you've been wanting to do all this time?"

"Hey!" Shuichi said hurriedly reaching out and covering her mouth. "You don't have to say another word!"

Annette's eyes laughed at him over his hand making him flush again. He now turned back to face Yuki.

"So," he began then faltered to a stop not knowing where to begin.

"Geez," Suguru interrupted into the silence "If we stay here waiting for these two to have a conversation we're all going to grow old and die." He slid down from the stage. "I'm going to go and get something to drink before our break's over."

He turned to Annette, holding out his hand. "Would you care to join us?" he asked. He glanced at Yuki and Shuichi with a look of exasperation. "You could stay here and watch these two idiots but I wouldn't advise it. We've been doing it for years and it's really not that interesting."

Annette laughed and placed her hand in his. "I think I'll take your advice and leave them alone."

"Wise decision," Suguru agreed, gallantly leading her away.

"I think it's a good idea, too," Hiro said. He glanced at his watch and spoke to Shuichi. "Don't forget we've only got half an hour break so don't go disappearing or doing something stupid. We've still got a lot to do."

"I know," Shuichi assured him, only taking his eyes from Yuki for a second.

Hiro just shook his head and hurried to catch up with Suguru and Annette, leaving Shuichi and Yuki alone.

-oOo-

Yuki looked at Shuichi, eyes drinking in those features thirstily, unable to speak. He had agonised all morning if he should come or not. He wanted to – desperately so – but at the same time the thought of facing Shuichi was daunting also. He didn't know if he would be able to control himself if he saw him in person. His nights were filled enough with thoughts of Shuichi; of what he wanted to do to him, wanting to feel him, touch him, devour him in all ways. Those thoughts made his heart race, blood pound through his veins, setting his body on fire so it was almost unbearable.

He had almost turned away again as he watched the small group of figures near the stage, recognising Shuichi easily even at this distance but it had been Shuichi's voice that had stopped him. How could he leave after hearing that?

His feelings churned within him. The banter with Hiro and Suguru was not uncommon and he let it wash over him, not even deigning to comment. But the way in which Shuichi interacted with that girl, Annette, made his heart clench. They seemed so natural around each other, so easy going and comfortable. So completely different from he and Shuichi. His stomach stabbed at him reminding him he hadn't taken his medicine that morning in his distraction. Damn it, why was Shuichi still with her? Why couldn't he be like that with him?!

"So how have you been?" Yuki finally spoke, the silence becoming awkward.

"Good," Shuichi replied. "You?"

"Fine."

They looked at each other again in silence. Speak, damn it, Yuki snarled at himself. If you don't he's going to leave!

"Uhm," Yuki puffed on his cigarette a few times then continued. "I've heard about the concert. You're getting a lot of promotion. It should be a big event."

"That was Tohma's plan," Shuichi agreed. "Although our music has been in some of the clubs here already."

"How did you find that out?"

"My old band told me," Shuichi suddenly looked animated again and Yuki felt another pang. There was that previous life intruding again. Was Shuichi regretting returning to who he had been? Did he wish he could have remained here as the new person he had created? A life which Yuki had no place in?

"So you've seen them?" was all he could come up with to say.

"Yeah. I'm going to go see them play before we leave." He looked sideways for a moment and said, "Do.. you want to come with me? To see them play?"

Yuki felt his heart flutter, this time in happiness. Shuichi still wanted to see him. He felt his breathing become easier, tension releasing. He removed the cigarette from his lips and released the last of the smoke in his lungs slowly.

"I would like that," he said slowly, meeting Shuichi's eyes and holding them.

Shuichi matched his gaze then smiled at him, a small chuckle falling from his lips. "Welcome back, Yuki," he said.

"Thanks," Yuki replied, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

-oOo-

Yuki looked around the room in disbelief.

Since his return to New York he had had a full schedule each day which carried him from morning to night. Today had been attending his book signing event in the morning, followed by a magazine interview with photo shoot in the afternoon, before going to watch Bad Luck rehearse as their concert date drew closer. Even he was amazed at how quickly Tohma had been able to pull this event together. The publicity for it was everywhere, promoting not only Bad Luck and Nittle Grasper, but that idiot Ryuichi's new film. Then on top of that was the promotion of the various charities that would benefit from it.

His days may have been fuller than he would have liked but he wasn't about to give up spending time with Shuichi so his answer was to try and be around Shuichi where ever possible. Sometimes Tohma firmly stated his presence would be more disruptive than beneficial and he would be banished from Shuichi's side. He would seethe at this restriction but there was little he could do. He wasn't about to go against Tohma, not without being fully prepared to take him head on, nor did he want to do anything which might jeopardize things for Shuichi. His aim was not for Shuichi to be pissed off by him. So between these time constraints and other obstacles he looked forward to those moments where he could snatch time with Shuichi, hoping Shuichi did also.

So far, at least Shuichi hadn't given any indication that he didn't want Yuki to continue to come by. In fact he had even proposed that Yuki join him for dinner tonight as once the concerts began his evenings would be fully occupied, reducing their time together even more. Yuki had accepted with no hesitation and time and place quickly set, the easiest being at Shuichi's hotel. Yuki had hoped that it might be in the privacy of Shuichi's room, but instead Shuichi had named the dining room. Yuki winced a little at the thought of being under scrutiny from other hotel guests but he said nothing. Shuichi had had to rush off then for a magazine shoot, leaving Yuki to head back to his apartment, already pondering what he should wear for tonight.

Now he stood staring around his room, gazing at the carnage, and wondered what he had done to deserve this. His papers were strewn across the floor, some ripped into jagged pieces and scattered like confetti around the desk by the window he'd been using. Pens and pencils had also been swept from the desktop to litter the ground. Although he could see that his laptop was pushed over to one side it had appeared to have suffered no real permanent damage though precariously balancing on the edge, the power cord stretched taut all that prevented it from falling. He rescued it, turning it on and breathed a sigh of relief as the screen lit up normally.

He placed it back in a more secure place, turning to purvey the rest of the mess. Cushions had been thrown around the floor, obviously having been aimed at the walls as some of the pictures were crooked from being buffeted by the assault. Broken glass glittered in places where used drinking glasses had been left out.

Slowly he turned around and walked to the bedroom where the same scene greeted him. Clothes were scattered across the floor, having been pulled from drawers and torn from clothes hangers in the wardrobe. He went towards the adjoining door and tried it, rattling the door knob but the door remained locked. Perhaps Mizuki's quarters had escaped the destruction. He looked over the wreckage again and pondered for a moment.

He had no idea how this could have happened. Tohma's apartment was in a secure building; tenants had electronic keys, both for the front door, the lift, and the apartment itself, not to mention the underground carpark. There were also security guards stationed on the ground floor and who patrolled the garage so it seemed extremely unlikely for a normal vandal to get in here. It should have been as safe as anywhere. Still the evidence before his eyes disproved this.

Damn it, he thought, bringing a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose. He really didn't need this shit right now. When he dropped his hand the mess was still there before him. He knew he had to do something about this. As much as he would like to have just ignored it he knew he couldn't but the thought of having to deal with a bunch of strangers just annoyed him more.

Making a decision he pulled out his wallet and sifted through the wad of papers and cards crammed inside. He flicked through them, letting those he discarded fall to the floor, apart from a few he replaced back in the wallet. Finally he paused at one scrap, peering at the scrawled number written there, the creases from the folds cutting across it. He pulled out his phone and dialled, tapping his foot impatiently as it rang.

The door bell rang and Yuki immediately went to answer it, cigarette dangling from his lips. He had been standing in one corner of the room, glaring at the mess as he had waited. This was his third cigarette as it was. He opened the door and looked at the two people standing on the other side.

"Smoking's bad for you, you know," Dee said with a grin.

"Huh," Yuki replied, stepping back and allowing first Ryo and then Dee to enter.

"It's good to see you again," Ryo said, holding his hand out with a smile.

Yuki shook it, repeating the gesture with Dee.

"You could have just called in the local beat guys," Dee said, glancing around the room.

"Didn't want to," Yuki answered which was entirely true although he was already wondering why he had asked these two. He didn't have a problem with Ryo but something about Dee always seemed to annoy him. He had forgotten about that.

Ryo began to carefully walk around. "Have you touched anything?" he asked.

"Just the laptop," Yuki answered.

"Anything missing?" Dee asked, squatting down and using a pen to lift a few papers to look beneath.

"Not that I could tell so far," Yuki answered, looking around and then he paused.

Suddenly he spun around and slammed through the bedroom door, flinging open the closet door so far it jerked hard against the hinges. Ryo and Dee had followed him. He pulled out his valise and wrenched it open, looking inside. He began to swear in a quiet, low voice that was filled with venom.

"I guess that's a 'yes'?" Dee said then in an even voice.

Yuki looked up to see him leaning casually against the door frame although his expression was serious. Yuki stood and tried to calm down. "Yeah," he replied. He could feel his stomach begin to churn in a familiar sensation. Gods damn ulcer!

"What's missing?" Ryo asked professionally.

"My manuscript. And a journal," Yuki replied with some reluctance. He couldn't tell them that the journal was the one he kept solely to write down everything to do with Shuichi, all the things he thought about the young man, all the things he felt, all the things he wanted to say but never did. That was the last thing he wanted to lose and it was the very last thing he wanted to fall into someone else's hands.

"Is that the only things?"

"Looks like it. They didn't even take my passport." He held up the document to show that it had been in the valise with the other now missing items.

"Hmm," Ryo mused as he looked into the wardrobe.

"So the perp was after that manuscript specifically maybe?" Dee asked. He looked at the vandalism around them. "All the rest of this could have just been camouflage for what they really wanted."

"Could be," Ryo agreed. "I imagine your manuscript would be worth quite a bit in the wrong hands?" He looked at Yuki who nodded. That was true enough. He was a well-known author so for the raw manuscript of his next book to be distributed before publishing could make someone a great deal of money.

Ryo pulled his cell phone out and dialled. "I'll call in the boys and we'll see if they can pull any prints off for us." He went back into the other room and Yuki could hear him speaking

"Has this place got a security room?" Dee asked.

"Don't know," Yuki said. "Probably. This place is like Fort Knox."

"Obviously not quite," Dee said with a crooked smile. "Otherwise your intruder wouldn't have got in." He stood up and brushed his hands on his trousers. "Try not to touch anything else," he said. "I'm going to go talk to Security and see what information they've got."

Dee walked out with Yuki following. He saw Dee give a signal to catch Ryo's attention who was still speaking on the phone. He made a couple of gestures to which Ryo nodded and then Dee left. Yuki felt a pang of envy. These two men could communicate so easily, not even having to speak. He and Shuichi could barely manage to communicate directly with each other in any capacity – and it sometimes seemed that they had even more problems when they did talk.

Ryo hung up and turned to Yuki. "Do you want to go somewhere for a coffee whilst we work here?" he asked. "We could be a while."

"How long?" Yuki asked, thinking of his dinner date with Shuichi tonight. He had wanted to shower and dress his best for that as this was the first date they would have together since their arrival in New York. Most of the meals they had eaten together were accompanied with other people and generally hastily grabbed somewhere on the street nearby or ordered in for them.

"A few hours are all we'll probably need," Ryo assured him.

"That's fine," Yuki said, picking up his keys and jacket. He paused at the door. "Do you need my number?" he asked.

Ryo smiled at him. "I've still got it," he said, waggling his phone. "We'll call once we're finished," he promised.

"Right," and Yuki turned to leave. There was a café just down the street that he could wait at. "Oh, those rooms belong to someone else," he said, pointing to the adjoining door. "I don't think they got in there since it's still locked."

"Do you have a key?"

Yuki shook his head. "Security will have though."

"We'll check, just in case," Ryo said.

"Okay. I'll call Mizuki and let her know what's going on."

"We'll talk to you later then."

-oOo-

Ryo and Dee were true to their word and called him after a couple of hours to say he could return. He found his place pretty much the way he had left it and frowned. Couldn't they have even tried to clean things up?

He tossed his jacket onto the couch angrily. Damned if he was going to do this, he thought as he stalked towards the bathroom. He stepped into the shower and hurriedly washed. Time was ticking away and he didn't want to be late. As he stepped out of the shower and made his way to his bedroom, towel wrapped around his waist he heard a sound in the living room. It didn't sound like Mizuki who always called out when she returned. He froze for a moment to listen. Had the burglars returned?

He walked on bare feet quietly to the door and carefully looked around the corner to see Tohma standing there with three other people surrounding him as he spoke.

"Ah, Eiri," Tohma said, seeing him there. "Don't mind this. They'll start in this room and get it straightened out first. The bedroom will be done whilst you are away." He looked at the cracked mirrors and other damage seen on furniture, pointing it out to one of the men at his side who held a notebook which he scribbled in hurriedly after every comment Tohma made. The second man in the group was on the phone, and Eiri caught fragments of the quiet conversation with mention of glaziers, before a second call began discussing upholstery.

Yuki just turned around and went back to his room to dress. It was only to be expected that Tohma would know about the damage, no doubt the security people in the building alerted him as soon as the police began to question them. He scanned his clothes, brow furrowed as he considered what would be the best combination for tonight. He had no doubt that under Tohma's eagle eye the apartment would look as though nothing untoward had occurred in any way by the time he returned.

After finally settling on his attire he dressed, brushed his still damp hair, flicking it out of his eyes, before splashing a little cologne on. It was one that Shuichi had given him, in fact the last present he had given him before he left on that fateful trip so Yuki had never worn it for him. It was a fragrance that Shuichi had told him he had liked and thought it suited Yuki. Yuki hoped that perhaps the scent would remind Shuichi of that time and bring them closer together.

When he returned to the living room there were even more people present, some measuring items, one carrying a damaged chair from the room, others in overalls and gloves cleaning up. Tohma oversaw it all. However he smiled upon Yuki's entrance.

"You have a pleasant evening and don't worry about a thing here. I've already put Mizuki up in another hotel with her son and moved her belongings there also. I think it is best if she were out of the way at this point. I would be happier if you also moved."

Yuki frowned at him so Tohma just held up his hands as though surrendering. "I thought that might be how you would see it. However, until this matter is resolved I have arranged for the locks to be changed again, with extra security personnel located on this actual floor. I would appreciate it if you didn't make their lives too difficult."

Yuki didn't like the thought of strangers hovering so close by but he understood that this was Tohma's way of compromising. He couldn't really argue as this was Tohma's apartment he was using after all.

"Fine," he grudgingly said. "Did the police give any idea of who did this or why?"

Tohma shook his head. "Nothing so far that I know of. I asked Ryo and Dee to keep me informed."

Of course he did, Yuki thought.

Tohma continued, "Such a situation as this should not have been able to occur so I will be personally looking into it."

Oh, oh, that meant trouble for someone. Yuki wondered who was going to bear the brunt of Tohma's wrath for this fiasco. He almost felt pity for the unknown victim.

"Anyway, you don't have to worry about anything," Tohma said, briskly. "Enjoy your date and we'll speak later on about this matter."

"Humph," Yuki muttered, heading for the door. He was met in the lobby by a smartly dressed chauffeur who bowed politely.

"Mr Yuki, please come this way, sir. Mr Seguchi has instructed that I am to be completely at your disposal for the duration of your stay here in New York. Please feel free to contact me at any time, day or night."

Yuki didn't bother arguing. Tohma was not taking any chances. It was at least easier this way than taking a cab.

-oOo-

Shuichi nervously sat at the table in the reserved section of the hotel restaurant. A solid partition had been slid across creating a small separate room from the rest. He could hear the distant clatter and murmur of voices of the other diners but only faintly. He had this whole area to himself, a special request that the hotel had been only too happy to accommodate. He knew how much Yuki hated being stared at when they were out. That's the funny thing about being recognized. When it was for work or you were expecting it, it didn't really bother you. Both he and Yuki were used to playing for the cameras and crowds. But when it was unexpected, or you just wanted to be yourself and not the larger-than-life image that the public knew, being hassled grated on your nerves. So he had wanted this section of privacy just as much as he knew Yuki would.

He tugged at his jacket, feeling a little uncomfortable in it. He had become used to being back in the more flamboyant and revealing clothing of Bad Luck so dressing more conventionally felt strange. However he had thought it would be more suitable for tonight's dinner.

He played with the stem of the empty wine glass before him, staring at the single rose in the crystal vase set in the middle of the round table. The low candles on either side flickered, making the crystal cast myriad tiny swirling rainbows across the table, walls and even the ceiling above.

He glanced at his watch, although he had done so only a few moments ago. Would Yuki be here soon? Now he scrunched at the corner of the pristine, folded napkin before him. He realised what he was doing and hurriedly folded his hands in his lap, feeling irritated with himself. He shouldn't be nervous about seeing Yuki as they had been spending time together over the last few days. Admittedly this was the first time you could say they had been on a 'formal' date.

He took a deep breath and then slowly released it, trying to be calm. If anything he should still be angry with Yuki for pulling his disappearing act. He had intended to take Yuki to task over that immediately upon seeing him but he hadn't managed to even ask why he'd done that. He still wanted to know, and it was still a worry hovering in the back of his mind but every time he decided he would at the sight of Yuki he just couldn't bring himself to raise the issue. He was so afraid that in doing so he would ruin what little time they had together as it is. But he did still want to know.

A sound caught his attention and he looked up to see the partition sliding apart, just enough to allow a single person to enter. Yuki's tall figure strode into the room, his golden hair almost glittering in the soft light making Shuichi's breath catch in the back of his throat.

"Sorry I'm late," Yuki said gruffly as he reached the table. He sat as the maître de who had unobtrusively followed pulled his chair out and then smoothly slid it into place, before fading into the background again, leaving them alone.

"You're not late," Shuichi said. "I'm just early. It's not like I had as far to come as you."

Shuichi watched as Yuki took the wine list which seemed to magically appear at his side, proffered by the maitre de. He noted the two tiny creases between Yuki's eyes which he remembered usually meant that Yuki was worried about something. He didn't recall seeing them there this afternoon when Yuki had stopped by.

"What's up?" he asked, wondering if Yuki would actually tell him.

"Huh?" Yuki looked up from his perusal of the wines to gaze at Shuichi.

Shuichi tapped between his own eyes and said, "You're worried about something."

"Oh," Yuki looked at him for a moment longer then returned his gaze back to the list in his hand. He turned to the silently hovering maître de and ordered, Shuichi recognising the name of wine that he had had once before some time ago with Yuki that he had said he had rather liked. He didn't think that Yuki would have remembered. The wine list was whisked from Yuki's outstretched hand and they were alone again.

Yuki's long fingers played with the napkin before him then he finally answered. "My place got broken into," he said in a bit of a rush.

"What?!" Shuichi was shocked as he knew that Yuki was staying at Tohma's place here in New York. If anywhere was safe from such things he would have thought that would be. "You're okay?" he immediately asked, running his eyes over what parts of Yuki he could see. He didn't spot any damage.

"Of course I am," Yuki said in a disparaging voice, glaring at Shuichi. "I said my place was burgled, not that I was mugged!"

"Well, you might have been there when it happened," Shuichi defended his show of concern, frowning back.

"Well, I wasn't," Yuki stated. The wine arrived at that time and their glasses were filled after Yuki tasted and gave his approval.

"So was anything taken?" Shuichi asked, trying to break the building silence.

"A couple of things," Yuki replied. "My manuscript for one."

"You've got a copy, right?" Shuichi questioned as he took a sip of the wine.

"Yeah, but it would still be bad news if it was leaked early."

"Yeah, I guess it would be," Shuichi agreed although personally he would love to get his hands on Yuki's story before anyone else. "So what else?"

"Uhm...nothing important," Yuki muttered, immediately picking up his glass and taking a large swallow. Shuichi raised one eyebrow but didn't press the issue although his curiousity was roused. Obviously Yuki didn't want to talk about it although Shuichi couldn't help but wonder what it might have been.

"So what are you going to do about it?" he asked instead.

"The police are investigating," Yuki replied, taking the menu offered to him. "And Tohma's looking into it."

"Ah," Shuichi felt himself relax a little as he took his menu. If Tohma was already aware of the problem he was sure it would soon be resolved. A mere burglar was no match for Tohma Seguchi.

"Anyway, let's forget about it tonight, okay?" Yuki said abruptly, putting down the menu and holding out his wine glass. He looked directly at Shuichi. "A toast," he said in a quiet, intense voice.

Shuichi raised his glass also, mirroring Yuki. "To what?"

"To us," Yuki said, tilting his glass slightly so it clinked against Shuichi's.

Shuichi felt his whole body grow warm and his eyes prick with sudden tears. "To us," he managed to reply.

The moment held, glasses meeting like lovers kissing over the candle light sealing a promise, the red rose below mirrored in the stems.


	24. Chapter 24

**Title**: Unlocking My Love

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings:** some bad language

Author's Note: I wanted to try and finish this chapter for Christmas - I've just managed to scrape in! This has been very rushed so I hope there aren't too many mistakes. To all my readers who have waited so patiently whilst this story unfolds, thank you. For those who celebrate this time of year, I wish you a Merry Christmas and a prosperous New Year.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, apart from Jim Harris and Annette; they belong to the creator of 'Gravitation'.

Chapter 24

"So do I look all right?" Shuichi asked for the third time since they had left the hotel, tugging at the bottom of his jacket before running a hand through his hair which inadvertently caused some bits to stand up on end.

Yuki sighed loudly in exasperation. "Stop fidgeting," he growled. He reached out and smoothed Shuichi's hair back down. "We're just having beers with them."

"It's all right for you," Shuichi complained. "But I've never met them before; you have."

"They're just ordinary...." Yuki began to answer when the door swung open.

"'Bout time you showed up," Dee said with a grin, framed in the doorway. "We were beginning to wonder if we had to send out a search party."

He stood back and waved them inside. Ryo was just entering the living room from another doorway which Shuichi could see lead to the kitchen. He greeted them both with a warm smile.

"Welcome," he said, coming forward to greet them. He held out a hand towards Shuichi. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Shuichi," he said, clasping Shuichi's hand in a firm grip.

"And you," Shuichi replied, smiling despite his nervousness. Ryo exuded a warm, calming presence and Shuichi felt himself beginning to relax. "Thank you both for helping so much before." He bowed deeply to show the depth of his gratitude and thanks.

"We didn't really do anything," Ryo began when Dee interrupted rudely, draping an arm around Ryo's shoulders and leering at Shuichi.

"Don't you believe it," he said, "We worked ourselves to the bone to help out so now you're rich and famous if you want to show your appreciation a nice condo on ......"

This line of conversation was brought to an abrupt close as Ryo thumped Dee on the head without a change of expression on his calm face.

"We were just doing our jobs and more than happy to help," Ryo said as Dee hunched down at his feet grasping his bruised skull. "We're just glad to see that everything worked out well and you were found safe. Aren't we, Dee?"

"Yeah, yeah," was the mumbled reply then Dee stood again and headed for the kitchen. "Is beer okay with you two?"

"Yeah," Yuki responded, speaking for the first time as he sat on the couch and immediately drew out his cigarettes.

"Shuichi?" Ryo questioned. "Is there anything else you would rather prefer?"

"No, no," Shuichi said hurriedly. "That is fine with me."

"Okay. Four beers coming up!" Dee announced loudly.

Just at that moment the front door rattled and swung open and the room was filled with noisy chatter as four teenagers entered, two boys and two girls.

"Hey, shut up!" Dee yelled at them, sticking his head around the corner from the kitchen with a glare. "Can't you monkeys see we've got guests!"

"You're the big ape making the most noise," one of the boys snapped back, blond hair startling against his darker skin.

"Come here and say that, pipsqueak!" Dee growled. "I'll give you a crash course in manners."

"In your dreams, mister!" the teen responded, giving Dee the finger. "You're too fat and lazy to even catch me. Besides, I've grown another two centimeters, jerk!"

"Aw, give it a rest, Bikky," one of the girls put in now, slapping the boy's arm sharply. "You're being really rude. Just because Lai beat you, you shouldn't take it out on everyone else."

"He didn't beat me!" Bikky stated firmly, glaring at the other youth. "I was just having a bad day."

"Yeah, sure," the other youth with Asian features said calmly, arm draped over the shoulders of the girl by his side. "Any time you want a rematch you just have to say the word. But that doesn't mean that it gets you out of paying for pizza this time."

The scowl on Bikky's face was fierce but he grudgingly acknowledged his obligations. "Fine, but next time we're upping the stakes," he said, pointing at his friend.

"Bring it on," was the quick reply. "But don't start crying again when you lose next time!"

"As if I'll lose to a slanty-eyed bastard...."

"Ahem," Ryo interrupted them, loudly clearing his throat. "We do have guests," he pointed out to the teens before the argument got completely out of hand. "I would like them to leave with a fairly good impression of you if that is possible."

One of the girls immediately went over to Ryo's side and hugged him. "Sorry, Ryo," she apologised, looking up at him.

Ryo smiled down at her and patted her shoulder. "That's okay, Carol," he said.

Now Carol glanced to where Yuki sat on the couch with Shuichi beside him and her eyes widened. "It's you!" she said, excitement in her voice and she threw herself across the room to give Yuki a crushing hug, his face buried between her young breasts.

"Umph!" was Yuki's startled, muffled response as Shuichi looked on in shock. Just what was going on with these people?! He had been told about Ryo and Dee by Yuki prior and all they had done in trying to find him so he had wanted to meet them even though he had been extremely nervous doing so, but who were these kids? And what was this girl to Yuki?! Before he could straighten his thoughts out the second girl let out a squeal and flew from the side of her obvious boyfriend to engulf Yuki in as an exuberant hug as her friend. All Shuichi could do was sit there and stare.

"There they go again," Bikky grumbled, plonking himself down cross-legged on the floor, resting his chin in one hand, elbow resting on his knee. A disgruntled expression was on his face as he watched the two girls shower affection on Yuki.

"Yep," said Lai, joining him in the same pose. He sighed in resignation then spoke to Shuichi. "Just give them a minute to get over it and then they'll be fine."

"Ah, okay," Shuichi responded, still at a loss.

Carol and the other girl finally released Yuki, who took a deep breath as he came up for air once more, face red. "It is so good to see you!" Carol was gushing. "And you look as handsome as ever!", giving his blond hair a light tug.

The other girl now turned to look at Shuichi whose lap she was nearly sitting in and her eyes widened a little, hands coming up to cover her mouth for a moment. "Carol, look!" she demanded, turning to her friend. "It's him! It's him!"

Carol now focused her attention on Shuichi also, surprise turning to delight quickly. "It is you!" and she threw herself at Shuichi although she didn't try to hug him as she had Yuki. Shuichi shrank back a little, feeling overwhelmed by this onslaught of attention from the two girls as they stared at him so intently he felt he was being peeled layer by layer.

"I didn't recognise you at first because you don't have pink hair anymore but I think you're even more handsome like this!" Carol continued. "Don't you think so, Lass?"

Lass nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, yes!" She turned to Yuki for a moment. "So you finally found him! I'm so glad for you!" She didn't bother waiting to see if Yuki was going to say anything, immediately turning back to Shuichi. "Are you all right now? We were told you had lost your memory so are you better now?"

"Ah, yes, I'm fine. Thank you," Shuichi managed to utter.

"Oh, that's good!" Lass continued. "Yuki was so worried about you. I'm so glad he found you again!"

"So are you still going to be playing?" Carol then said.

"Playing?" Shuichi asked, trying to follow the conversation.

"The band," Lass clarified. "We've wanted to see you play for ages." She cast a coy look at Yuki. "Yuki said you're very good."

"Uhm, well, we are here to play," Shuichi attempting to answer the questions being fired at him in quick succession. Although his grasp of English had improved tremendously from his high school days due to his forced stay in America, but he still had a little difficulty in following the language when it was being spoken so quickly. He glanced at Ryo. "I guess it may be all right for you to come and see us play if you would like to." Did these teenagers know what type of music they played?

"Whee!" Carol and Lass squealed in unison making all the males wince a little.

"You'll be able to get the tickets for us, won't you, Ryo?" Carol asked sincerely. "I'll be able to pay you back next month with my allowance."

"You mean you know when they're playing already?" Bikky asked, looking surprised.

A withering look was cast upon him. "Of course," was the quick response from Carol. "All the kids at school have been talking about Bad Luck for ages!"

"Bad Luck?!" Bikky sat up straight at that, even Lai looked more alert. He stared at Shuichi. "You mean that kid is in Bad Luck?"

"Kid?" Shuichi huffed, finally finding his voice and glaring at the boy sitting on the floor. "I'm 24 years old, thank you!"

"No way," Bikky stated in disbelief. "You're hardly taller than me!"

"Well, I am!" Shuichi said in a tight voice. "Japanese people tend to be shorter than you Americans, that's all."

"See, Bikky," Lai put in smoothly. "There's hope for you yet to be taller than someone else."

"Shut up," Bikky growled, scowling at his friend.

"I'll try and get the tickets," Ryo said then, looking over at Shuichi and diverting attention. "When do they go on sale?"

"I can arrange for some," Shuichi said quickly.

"No, I couldn't let you do that," Ryo stated, holding up a hand. "That wouldn't be right."

"Please let me do this," Shuichi said, standing and bowing deeply. "It's the least I can do to repay you for all your help."

"Aw, let the kid do it if he wants," Dee drawled from where he sprawled on the floor, beer in hand having for once quietly watched the interplay till now.

Ryo frowned at him then returned his gaze to the still bowed Shuichi. "Please stand up," he said quietly. He smiled at Shuichi when he did. "As you insist I would be happy to accept your offer. And thank you." He looked up at the teenagers in the room. "I'm sure they all would like to thank you also."

"Thank you!" Carol and Lass said in unison, kissing Shuichi on each cheek, making him flush.

"And?" Ryo looked at Bikky and Lai sitting on the floor. "Unless you don't wish to go?"

"Hey, we didn't say that!" Bikky said quickly. He looked at Shuichi. "Sure, we'd like to go, but I ain't kissing no dude!"

"I may like your music also but I draw the line there as well," Lai said calmly.

Ryo sighed. "A simple 'thank you' I am sure will suffice," he said.

"Then sure," Bikky said with a shrug. "Thanks a lot, man."

"I will be sure to have the tickets delivered shortly," Shuichi said. "Should I include one for you both also?" looking at Ryo and Dee.

Dee choked on his beer at the question then wiped the spittle from his chin. "Uhm, can't say I've ever heard of you before," he admitted.

"Actually I wouldn't mind attending," Ryo said surprisingly, making Dee look at him in shock. He smiled at Shuichi. "I've heard your music played by Bikky and thought it was rather good."

"Then I'm going too!" was Dee's hurried response.

"Fine then," Yuki finally put in, cigarette hanging from his lips. "That's six tickets so can we finally get another drink?"

"Of course" Ryo said standing, "My apologies." He returned shortly with further beers although Shuichi and himself had barely touched theirs. Yuki and Dee immediately reached for their second.

"How about us?" Bikky asked.

"There's juice in the fridge," Ryo said as Dee swatted Bikky's hand away from where it rested near his beer.

"Back off, you sawn-off midget!" he snarled. "Babies don't drink beer."

Bikky stuck his tongue out at him as he stood and headed for the kitchen. "As if I would want to share spit with a pervert like you!" He looked over his shoulder towards his friends. "You can wait in my room where it's safer," he said, "in case his perversion is contagious."

"You just want to do the dirty with the girls, you rampant hormonal shrimp!" Dee threw back in response.

"Unlike you, we actually know how to control ourselves," Bikky replied loftily. "Just because you can't stop yourself from jumping Ryo every minute don't lump the rest of us in the same basket!"

"Why you...!" Dee cut short what he was going to say as Bikky's door slammed shut firmly. "Damn brat!"

Shuichi now realised that he had missed the obvious about Ryo and Dee. Not only were they partners at work, they were obviously a couple as well. Like Yuki and me, he thought, sneaking a glance at Yuki. Did Yuki know? Of course, he did. Yuki had spent much longer with these two men, even having said that he had visited them at their home address before.

He now watched Ryo and Dee more closely. Although the two men sat apart, unlike he and Yuki seated on the couch, there was still an obvious connection between them. The way their bodies would incline towards each other, the way their conversation would flow and blend together, the amused or warm looks that would pass between them, even the teasing or scolding comments. These two men were obviously deeply in love and Shuichi felt a pang of envy. Ryo and Dee didn't seem to need overt displays of affection to show that they cared. He snuck a quick glance at Yuki by his side. Would he ever be able to get to that stage of comfortableness with Yuki? Probably not, he thought a little sadly.

He leant back with a sigh, then started as he felt something brush against the back of his head. Twisting around he realised that Yuki's arm lay across the back of the couch behind him.

"What?" Yuki questioned, raising his beer to his lips.

"Uhm," Shuichi began then didn't quite know how to continue. He began to lean forward again.

"Hurry up and sit back," Yuki suddenly said. "You're jiggling the couch."

He didn't look at Shuichi as he said this but he also didn't move his arm so Shuichi had no choice but to gingerly lean back, feeling Yuki's arm warm against the back of his neck. He started a little as he felt Yuki's large hand fall upon his shoulder, glancing sideways to see the long fingers curled around his upper arm. A tingling began to spread through his body, permeating outwards from that point of contact.

"So," and Shuichi tuned back to the conversation that had been continuing whilst he had mused. "We've not found out anything much so far," Dee was saying, taking a handful of nuts from the bowl set on the coffee table before them and tossing a couple into his mouth. "The surveillance video just showed general staff coming and going, there was only one that stood out as suspicious."

"Further investigation showed that one of the cleaning ladies' uniforms had been removed from the lockers. The owner was cleared as she was away on holidays at the time with her family. Just before going away she had lost the keys to her padlock and it had to be cut off and she hadn't got around to replacing it," Ryo continued to story. "She wasn't particularly worried about doing so as there was only the uniform in there, nothing else of value."

"So you think someone grabbed the uniform and got in?" Yuki queried. "Just like that?"

Dee shrugged. "Looks like it," he said. "You can get into the car park if you walk through at the time the gates are opening for cars and get out the same way. If you come through the car park and go via the workers entrance you bypass the security guards in the foyer. Once you've got the uniform and pass key it's easy from there to access the living quarter floors."

"Don't they lock the worker's entrance door?" Shuichi asked, curious.

"Sure they do," Dee said, "Except when there are deliveries and the door's propped open."

"So what's it all mean?" Yuki asked.

"Well, there are two possibilities," Ryo said. "Either this was a very well planned break-in or it was just luck that everything fell into place."

"That seems a little unlikely," Yuki put in skeptically.

"I agree, but it does happen that way sometimes," Ryo said. "Plenty of crimes occur as a spur of the moment action, simply because everything seemed to be just right."

"But it definitely looks like you were the target," Dee put in. "As no-one else was interfered with, and it would appear that your manuscript was the reason for it as nothing else was taken, and in truth the damage was pretty minor."

Yuki raised an eye brow at that but didn't comment. "So could you see who it was on the surveillance tapes?" he asked instead.

Ryo shook his head. "Sorry," he apologised. "They kept their head down and we couldn't get a good picture of their face."

"We're not even sure if it was a chick or a dude," Dee added. "Those uniforms could hide anything under them."

"So in other words this has all been a complete waste of time," Yuki growled.

Dee shrugged again. "Well, we can look at it this way," he said. "Now they've got the manuscript they're not going to bother coming back so you don't have anything to worry about."

"Huh!" Yuki huffed, scowling. He wasn't surprised. Tohma hadn't turned up anything different either after his enquiries. Oh, well, he would just have to redo the story before submitting it. If he changed it enough, it wouldn't matter if the manuscript got leaked.

"The investigation is still on-going but unless another lead turns up we're pretty much at a dead end. Sorry about that," Ryo said apologetically to Yuki.

Yuiki shrugged. "Not anything else you can do," he said. "It's just a pain in the ass." He paused, blowing out some smoke. "Thanks anyway."

"No problem," Ryo smiled.

"Now, how about something to eat, like pizza?" Dee said, clapping his hands, smiling broadly. "Didn't I hear something about Bikky buying?"

-oOo-

Yuki yawned as he walked through the lobby, heading for the front doors.

He and Shuichi had stayed out drinking at Dee and Ryo's far later than he had anticipated. Surprisingly, he had actually enjoyed their company and the time had just slipped by unnoticed. Shuichi had seemed to have had a good time too, soon bantering with the four teens who had joined them for pizza, accompanied by Bikky's strident complaints about paying, with music being the main topic of conversation. Ryo finally shooed the kids off to bed when Bikky and Lai began to teach Shuichi how to play basketball in the lounge and Yuki was sure that Ryo feared for the well-being of his home's décor if that continued.

The four adults then spent some further time talking, Shuichi being curious about Ryo and Dee's work and enthralled by some of the stories they told, before Dee then pumped Shuichi for information about being a pop idol, wanting to know if he got fancy cars and things showered on him from potential sponsors. He seemed a little disappointed when Shuichi explained that there really wasn't that much of those things as that was all controlled by the production company they were signed with. Dee then made a few cracks that Shuichi should introduce him to some of the pretty young groupies that must follow him until he caught the icy glare of Ryo and hurriedly cancelled that request.

Shuichi had continued to speak animatedly in the taxi as they headed back to their respective dwellings, and Yuki was pleased to see him acting so boisterously once more. He didn't see that side of Shuichi much any more but it always brought back so many memories of the past. Shuichi had finally subsided and Yuki had felt a warm pressure on his shoulder. Looking sideways he saw Shuichi asleep on his shoulder, eyes closed, long lashes brushing his cheek, his breathing slow and steady. No wonder, Yuki thought, Shuichi's been going at full steam since their arrival in New York in preparation for this concert. Any wonder he's tired. He directed the driver to change plans and head directly to Shuichi's hotel first, even though it was the one furthest away.

As they pulled up, Yuki gently shook Shuichi away. "Hey, wake up.

Shuichi's eyes cracked open, blinking slowly, then a large yawn opened his mouth wide as he reached up to rub at his eyes. "Where?"

"Your hotel, idiot," Yuki said quietly, letting Shuichi wake up properly.

Shuichi looked out the window, still rubbing his eyes. "Oh, it is too," he muttered, yawning again. He suddenly sat up straighter and looked at Yuki. "Hey, weren't you getting out first?"

"I would have except someone was busy drooling on my shoulder," Yuki stated.

"Aw, not again!" Shuichi said, slapping his forehead. He wiped at his mouth and chin, obviously trying to detect any sign of moisture.

"It's no big deal," Yuki said, "If I had got out first you would have gone right back to sleep and could have ended up anywhere. If I take my eyes off you for one second you're liable to get yourself into some sort of trouble."

"Now that's unfair," Shuichi said firmly.

Yuki just raised one eyebrow and remained silent.

"Whatever," Shuichi finally said, opening the door and exiting. He leant back down to look through the open window at Yuki. "So I'll see you tomorrow? Can you make it?"

Yuki nodded. "Should be able to but it won't be till late afternoon."

"That's okay," Shuichi said with a bright smile. "As long as you come I don't care what time it is."

Yuki stared at Shuichi's open face, wondering if Shuichi realized just how that statement made his heart race.

"Hey," Yuki said.

"What?"

"Come here for a sec," Yuki beckoned Shuichi to lean in closer.

"What?" Shuichi queried again, complying.

Yuki leant forward and kissed him, lips meeting, holding, moulding to Shuichi's. Yuki could feel the warm gust of Shuichi's breath as it entered his mouth, mingling with his own. He pulled back and met Shuichi's eyes, wondering what reaction he would get.

Shuichi stared back at him then a slow smile spread across his face. "You," he said, with a low chuckle. "you always manage to surprise me."

"That's good, isn't it?" Yuki asked. "Means you won't get bored."

Shuichi gave a soft laugh. "Yeah, you're right. But that's gonna be a lot of surprises, you know." He moved away from the car and gave a jaunty salute to Yuki. "See you tomorrow!", then he turned and walked briskly into the hotel.

Yuki watched until he was inside, before directing the driver to his apartment, sitting back to ponder what Shuichi had said. Could he take as meaning that Shuichi was seriously considering being with him again? Permanently? He inhaled deeply, holding it, then exhaling slowly. Don't rush it, he calmed himself, don't push him too hard for an answer. He couldn't afford to screw up this time.

Yuki smothered another yawn as he settled into the waiting taxi.

Yes, last night had been a good night and he didn't care how tired he was now, not when the end of the evening had ended so promisingly. He just hoped that Shuichi wouldn't have had any second thoughts upon awakening this morning. Yuki had a full schedule today and really couldn't get away any earlier. Mizuki would be meeting him at the studio where his interview was being recorded, having remained at the hotel where Tohma had ensconced her and her son after the break-in although there had been no further trouble. It had just seemed simpler than moving back again, especially as Tohma said he would pick up the hotel bill. As long as Mizuki was okay with it, Yuki wasn't going to insist she returns to be with him. He didn't need her at his beck and call, he could look after himself.

"SHIT!!"

Yuki was suddenly thrown abruptly forward as the taxi driver slammed on his breaks, twisting the wheel furiously to avoid not only the car who had cut dangerously in front of him, but to avoid the car in the lane beside them as well as the truck squealing in behind them. Luck or whatever deity of taxi drivers there is, was on their side and they navigated the perilous pitfalls surrounding them to be able to pull onto the shoulder, shaken but unharmed.

"You okay, mister?" the driver turned around to check on his passenger.

"Yeah. Fine," Yuki answered, rubbing his forehead where it had connected hard against his forearm which he had thrown up instinctively to protect himself as he was thrown against the back of the seat in front of him.

By this time, other cars had also stopped to check on them. The drivers concerned in the near disaster huddled together and Yuki caught smatterings of the conversation, enough to realize that the car that had caused the entire incident had not stopped and no-one had been able to get the license number.

Yuki glanced at his watch and growled under his breath. Damn it, he was going to be late if they didn't get a move on! He pulled out his mobile phone and quickly dialed Mikuki.

"Yuki, where are you? You don't have much time. Don't tell me you over slept?" Mizuki's harried voice reached his ear before he could say a word.

"I didn't over sleep," he defended himself. "I'm in a taxi right now. There was a near accident on the highway and I'm caught in it at the moment. See if you can push it back by half an hour or so."

"You're not hurt?" Mizuki asked.

"No, nothing like that. It was just an idiot driver."

"Okay, I'll see what I can do. Get here as fast as you can."

"Will do."

Yuki hung up and glanced out the window at the still talking people. He sighed as he opened the door and got out, pulling his cigarettes out of his pocket. May as well enjoy a smoke at a time like this.

-oOo-

Yuki walked through the open gate, seeing Shuichi on the basketball court with Bikky. He sat on the bench, the players not noticing his arrival so engrossed in their game were they. He could see Shuichi frowning in concentration as he kept his eyes fixed on Bikky dribbling the ball. When Bikky finally moved it was lightening fast but Shuichi responded almost as quickly, his small, lean build an advantage. He managed to intercept Bikky, stealing the ball for a moment, heading for the opposite basket. However, Shuichi's beginner status was all too clear when Bikky came flying in, stealing the ball mid-bounce from Shuichi's grasp, circling his opponent, before sprinting to his basket to take an astounding leap upwards to dunk the ball firmly into the basket.

"And that is how you do it!" Bikky declared with a broad grin, pointing at Shuichi still trying to catch up to him.

"How…do…you move…so fast?!" Shuichi gasped out as he stopped, leaning over to place hands on his knees as he tried to get his breath back.

"I'm not an old man like you!" Bikky teased, sticking his tongue out.

Shuichi glared up at him, hair clinging to his sweaty forehead. "When I catch you…"

"Yeah, yeah," Bikky interrupted, rolling his eyes. "If I had a dollar for every time anyone has said that to me I'd be a frigging millionaire!"

"I think I need to work on my stamina," Shuichi stated, straightening up and pushing his hair back. "And I used to think I had a lot of it in my stage performances and yet I can still get run ragged by a kid."

"I'm not a kid!" Bikky exclaimed.

"You are for an old man like me!" Shuichi replied with a grin. He stretched his arms up, and noticed the figure sitting on the bench. "Hey, Yuki!" He turned to Bikky for a moment. "Thanks for the game. Catch you later!"

"Later," was Bikky's response.

Shuichi hurried over to where Yuki sat.

"I'm glad you could make it," he said with a smile, looking down at the immaculately dressed man.

"Well, you did say you had the day off," Yuki responded, lighting up a cigarette. "It seemed stupid to waste it so I moved my schedule around a bit."

"Thanks for doing that," Shuichi said, sitting down beside Yuki. He suddenly realized that he was still dressed him nothing more than shorts and t-shirt, and still sweaty from his exertions. Did he smell?, he suddenly wondered, worrying.

"You look like you and that pipsqueak are getting along well," Yuki suddenly said.

"Huh? You mean, Bikky? Yeah, we've hung out a couple of times now." Shuichi turned to Yuki with a broad smile. "He's been trying to teach me basketball but I'm not too good at it."

Yuki was silent for a long time and Shuichi frowned. Was something wrong? Had Yuki had a bad day so far or something?

Yuki dropped his half-finished cigarette to the ground, slowly grinding it underfoot. "So, you've had time to hang out with that brat and everyone else, but always telling me you're so busy.

"Eh?" Shuichi was taken aback by the fierce intensity in Yuki's voice. "No, I mean I am busy, you know that, but I have had some time off now and then. Sometimes just an hour or so and since Bikky's on school break at the moment he's been free too. It's not like I spend heaps of time with him or anything. This is only the second time we've met up, honest!"

"And I'm supposed to believe that?" Yuki snarled, glaring at Shuichi. "So you spend a couple of hours with some kid you hardly know, then what? A few hours with another 'friend'? What about a few hours with that ex-girlfriend of yours? A few hours is more than enough time to screw her. You come in about thirty seconds anyway so in a couple of hours you could screw her a couple of hundred times if you can get it up that is!"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!" Shuichi demanded, angry now, feeling his face heat. "Don't you dare say such things about Annette!"

"Oh? Defending your darling Annette, are you? Missing her so much since you left her that you couldn't wait to have her come stay with you in Japan and bring her back here to play happy families again?"

Shuichi sprang to his feet and glared down at Yuki, fists clenched at his sides. "Shut up!" he almost screamed. "Why the hell are you saying all this crap? I haven't done anything with Annette – not in Japan, and not since we arrived here! Why can't you just believe that?!"

Yuki was on his feet now, staring down at Shuichi. "How can I when I keep seeing you fawning all over her, and she hangs around you like a bad smell!"

"She is 'supporting' me!" Shuichi yelled. "Something you wouldn't know about since you just decided all on your own to piss off to New York without a single word to me about what you're doing and not given a fuck about me! You know, you've got a bad habit of running off here when you get scared and I'm getting real sick of it! So why don't you fucking grow up?!"

"So I'm supposed to just sit back and shut up whilst you flirt with you ex?!" Yuki demanded.

"I'm NOT flirting!" Shuichi stressed. "She's been encouraging me to do my best in my music. And she's been encouraging me about you as well, you arrogant, conceited, tight-ass! You weren't around to tell me to do my best!"

"So are you telling me anyone would do then?!" Yuki growled.

Shuichi reached out and grasped the front of Yuki's shirt, bunching it in his fist, glaring into Yuki's golden eyes.

"Not anyone!" he said fiercely. "Only the people who are important to me, and I was beginning to believe that you were one of them! But you fucked off which told me that you didn't think I was important to you!"

"Geez!" Bikky's exasperated voice broke the angry silence that had settled between the two of them.

They both turned, glares transferring to the youth.

He stood there with basketball casually tucked under one arm, the other hand raised as he twirled it in his ear, completely unfazed by those looks.

"Why don't you two just get a room?"

Shuichi's jaw dropped in surprise as Yuki blinked a couple of times also.

"What?!" Shuichi finally stuttered out. "Why would I want to get a room with this jerk?"

"More to the point, why would I want to be in the same place as a snot-nosed, spoiled brat like you?" Yuki snarled back.

Bikky just rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Boy, are you two so much like Dee and Ryo." He paused for a moment, thinking. "'Cept they didn't really argue like you two. Dee just kept chasing Ryo who kept avoiding him." He bounced the ball a couple of times. "Ryo was pretty good at that but it was damn obvious that he liked Dee too."

He turned and lined up the basket. "It was funny at first but it got pretty annoying after a while." He lobbed the ball and it sailed upwards to strike the backboard and fall into the basket before bouncing to the ground.

Bikky ran forward and collected it on the bounce, dribbling it back towards where Yuki and Shuichi sat. "It was way better once they finally got it together," he continued. "It sure was a hell of a lot quieter. Except at night."

"We," Shuichi growled with a glare at Yuki, "are nothing like Ryo and Dee!"

Bikky took another lob at the basket, missing this time. "Yeah, yeah," he said absently, frowning at his missed target. "As if anyone believes that."

He collected the ball once again before turning and sprinting back to the basket, leaping high to tip the ball into the hoop. He landed back on the ground, feet slapping firmly against the asphalt. "Yes!" he whooped with satisfaction.

Bikky turned to look at them both. "Anyone can see how much you like each other," he said. "So why don't you just admit it and get it over with?" He collected his ball from where it lay on the ground. "Dee and Ryo were much happier after that."

Bikky turned as his name was shouted out by some other youths just arriving at the courts. "Gotta go!" he said, flicking a casual wave at Yuki and Shuichi before taking off at a run.

The two of them looked after his retreating back then looked at each other, neither speaking. Finally Shuichi began to chuckle, one hand coming up to cover his eyes.

"Man, are we really that stupid?"

Yuki lit up a cigarette. "I guess," he agreed gruffly.

Shuichi looked at the man beside him, watching him silently for a moment. Yuki really was handsome; tall, good-looking, lean. Shuichi couldn't deny that he found him very attractive.

"So should we do what he said?" Shuichi asked.

"What's that?" Yuki queried, eyeing him. "Get a room?"

"No!" Shuichi said, blushing. "I meant, admit it." Shuichi sat down on the bench.

Yuki gazed down at him and then looked off to the side as though intently watching the basketball game currently in motion. "I suppose."

Shuichi grinned at Yuki's reluctance. "Okay, I'll go first," he said, knowing that if he waited for Yuki to do so they would be there all day. Shuichi took a deep breath, steadying himself, trying to ignore how fast his heart was racing. "I like you," he blurted out in a rush. He took a deep calming breath and then said a little more calmly, "I really like you."

He waited as Yuki continued to smoke, before reaching up to remove the cigarette from his mouth and sit heavily on the other end of the bench, hands coming up to hide his face. "Likewise," he finally mumbled.

"Come on, Yuki!" Shuichi said a little testily. "At least say it properly this time!"

Yuki raised his head and glared at him. "What the hell do you want me to say?" he snarled.

"Say it like you mean it!"

"What? You want me to get down on my knees or something?!" Yuki snapped. "Don't be a moron!"

"I'm not a moron!" Shuichi growled back. "I just want you to say it like it actually means something so I know it's the truth. Is that too much to ask for?"

"I travelled half way around the fucking world for you and you still don't think I mean it?! Are you an idiot?!"

"I'm not an idiot and stop calling me names, jerk!"

"Fool!"

"Pig!"

"Dumbass!"

"Bastard!"

By this time they were leaning so close to each other their noses were almost touching. Shuichi could feel Yuki's hot breath lifting his hair, the golden eyes flashing fire as they glared at him.

"You," he said in a low voice. "are impossible." He leant forward to press his lips against Yuki's in a long kiss.

Yuki didn't pull away instead Shuichi felt his tongue slide forward to slip past his teeth and into his mouth. He revelled in this touch, flicking his own tongue to stroke and twine around Yuki's, holding him in place by this touch alone.

He suddenly was pulled out of this delightful sensation as he became aware of the resounding whistles and catcalls. He pulled back from Yuki to see Bikky and his friends calling and clapping, mixed with cries of 'ewww!', at the other side of the court having abandoned their game for the obviously more entertaining show Shuichi and Yuki were putting on.

Shuichi felt his face heat a little and heard Yuki growl in the back of his throat. Yuki gave the youths the finger and then reached out and pulled Shuichi back into a kiss, this time harder and more forceful than the last, one hand tangled in Shuichi's hair at the back of his neck. When he was released, Shuichi felt breathless and his lips tingled.

"Let's get out of here where we won't have an audience," Yuki said in a low voice looking directly at Shuichi.

Shuichi nodded silently, his whole body tingling as Yuki stood and hauled him to his feet, dragging him along behind by a firm grip on his hand. He glanced back briefly to see Bikky give him a broad grin and thumbs up salute before turning back to the game with his friends.

Shuichi followed silently, allowing Yuki to continue to lead him by the hand. His heart was racing, wondering what Yuki was intending. He knew it was going to be something intimate, no doubt something sexual. He wasn't worried exactly but he still felt a nervous anticipation of what he knew was to come. His own level of excitement at these thoughts was making itself evident in the tightness in his groin. He was highly aware of the feel of Yuki's hand in his, the strength in that grip, and it made his heart race at the thought of that hand touching him elsewhere.

"So," Shuichi spoke quietly, staring at Yuki's broad back. "What was that all about back there? Do you really think that I'm back with Annette?"

Yuki stayed silent for a time then Shuichi heard him speak, "Not really."

Yuki stopped abruptly but didn't turn, although he maintained his tight grip on Shuichi's hand. "I…believe you if you say you're not."

"Then why did you…?" Shuichi didn't know if he should continue this conversation. The last thing he wanted to do was to repeat the argument they had just had. It still left a sour taste in his mouth.

"You'll laugh if I tell you," Yuki mumbled.

"I won't," Shuichi said, squeezing Yuki's hand. "I promise."

Yuki stood silently for a few more heartbeats then said, "I was jealous."

Shuichi stared at the hunched shoulders in amazement. Yuki was jealous? Of Annette? A chortle slipped from his lips before he could smother it.

Yuki spun around and glared at him. "You promised!"

"I know. I know," Shuichi waved his hand before placing it over his mouth to muffle the following chuckles whilst Yuki continued to glare at him. Shuichi could see his face colouring with embarrassment and tried to get himself under control.

He took a deep breath and managed to stifle any further unexpected mirth. He took a step closer to Yuki and reached up to touch his cheek, smiling.

"You don't have anything to be jealous about," he said. "Annette and I are over. You're the one I'm interested in. Okay?"

Yuki reached up and placed his hand over Shuichi's holding it for a moment against his face. "Fine then," he said then turned away and continued to walk, tugging Shuichi after him once more. "Just remember that from now on," he added and Shuichi wisely decided to remain quiet, simply rolling his eyes. Although it was kind of nice to see Yuki get jealous, he didn't want it to get out of hand either. He would wait till another time to talk this through a little better. Right now, he just wanted to enjoy the warm feeling building within his chest.

They reached the open street and headed for the main road, Yuki obviously hoping to flag a cab down. They were almost there when there was a loud squeal of brakes from behind them and a vehicle flew past so quickly the displacement of air blew their hair violently back, throwing dust up into their eyes, forcing them to stop and put up arms to protect their faces.

The car screeched to a halt, swerving to angle across the narrow road, effectively blocking the way.

Yuki had come to a halt and now pulled Shuichi in behind him, watching as the driver stepped out of the car. The long blonde hair lifted in the wind, dark sunglasses hiding the eyes. The driver leant on the roof of the car and reached up to remove the glasses.

"It's taken a while to find you, Shuichi," K said with a broad smile.

"It's our day off," Shuichi said defensively, looking from behind Yuki's back. "You knew I would be back at the hotel later." Yuki still hadn't let go of his hand.

K walked around the car and up to them with a nod for Yuki. "Sorry, time off has been cancelled. You've got a radio interview to get to pronto."

"Now?" Shuichi said in surprise and disbelief.

"Yep," K said, grabbing his arm and beginning to drag him away.

He came to an abrupt halt and turned to see Shuichi's arm stretched out, his other hand still held tightly by Yuki who glowered at him.

"He said he had the day off," Yuki snarled. "If you've booked something without telling him that's your problem!"

K raised one eyebrow, taking note of Yuki's dark frown and the tight grip. "Well," he said, scratching the side of his nose. "Officially this wasn't his day off," K explained with a grin. "I was just being my usual nice self and let him go because he wanted to see you. Hiro and Suguru have still been working all day."

"They have?" Shuichi looked at him with wide eyes, a touch of guilt in his voice.

K nodded. "Sorry to burst your bubble, Shuichi, but I can't keep presenting Bad Luck when it is absent the lead singer. This is pretty important."

"Oh," Shuichi said quietly. He knew K was right; he hadn't realized the rest of the band had been covering for his absence.

He glanced over at Yuki, meeting his eyes. He wanted to say something to him, to tell him that he didn't want to go. Ideally he wanted to tell K to go jump off the highest building but he knew he couldn't. He still had a job to do here after all. But he didn't want to make Yuki mad either. If he did, would Yuki leave him again – this time for good? He didn't think he could cope with this yo-yo of their relationship anymore.

Yuki looked back at him, remaining silent. Shuichi felt the grip tighten on his hand for a moment then loosen, before slipping away and Yuki's hand fell to his side. He stood there looking at Shuichi. "You'd better go," he said quietly.

"Come and see the concert," K said, tugging the now unimpeded Shuichi along behind him. "I'll send you a pass."

Shuichi allowed himself to be lead away but continued to watch Yuki even as K bundled him into the car. He wound the window down as K revved the engine.

"Come tonight!" he called out, hanging dangerously out the window as K took off with a squeal of tyres. "I'll be waiting for you!"

Yuki stared after the vehicle and ground his teeth in frustration. He had been so close. He could almost taste Shuichi as he had lead him away and Shuichi had seemed just as keen. Finally he had thought they would be able to get somewhere at last. Then that damn K had to turn up and ruin everything!

Yuki turned and stomped along the pavement, anger and disappointment churning inside. He supposed he would go and see Shuichi sing tonight. It would kill a few hours and he had nothing better to do anyway.


	25. Chapter 25

**Title**: Unlocking My Love

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings:** some bad language

Author's Note: A New Year's present for all my readers! Thank you again! If anyone is confused about some hints about past events in New York affecting Ryuichi, Tohma and Jim Harris this is told in the side story, "Unchained Memories".

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, apart from Jim Harris and Annette; they belong to the creator of 'Gravitation'.

Chapter 25

"Man, I'm beat!" Shuichi said with feeling, stretching his legs out in the car. He slumped further in the seat. "We haven't even started the concert and I feel I could sleep right now after today."

"Well, we have been on a pretty full schedule since our arrival," Suguru said, looking just as weary. He smothered a yawn. "We've managed to accomplish a great deal in a short time."

"You have indeed and you should all be proud of that," K said, turning in the front seat to smile at them. "You've done well."

Shuichi scowled at him. "Well, I hope Tohma appreciates all we've done for his stupid whim!" he growled under his breath.

K smirked at him. "Hardly a whim. You of all people should know by now that NG's president doesn't do anything for such a stupid reason. It's a pretty clever move he's made; this gives Nittle Grasper a revival which boosts sales of their prior albums, and introduces their old fan base to Bad Luck, whilst introducing your fan base to Nittle Grasper. It's a win-win situation, no matter how you look at it."

"It also firmly establishes Bad Luck's presence here in America, and linking them to good causes and other charity events for the people here which is excellent publicity and promotional value," Sakano put in from the driver's seat.

"What you're trying to tell me is that we're still all puppets in Tohma's grand play?" Shuichi held his arms up and waved them in imitation of a marionette. "So how long are we expected to let him pull our strings?"

"If you're smart," K said seriously. "For as long as Bad Luck is successful. Tohma's one of the best in the business. Anywhere in the world. Don't dismiss his ideas just because you're feeling jerked around."

"I know, I know," Shuichi slid down further in his seat, scowling. He agreed with everything K was saying, it wasn't that he didn't, but he still hated feeling that he was being manipulated.

He glanced across to Hiro sitting next to him. "How come you're not saying anything?" he asked.

Hiro half smiled at him. "I'm too tired to think of anything to say," he replied. He pushed his long hair away from his face. "We're all going to have to try and wake up properly before the concert tonight. At the moment we look like the walking dead. That's sure going to make a good impression on the crowd for the first night."

"It's natural to feel like this," Suguru added. "We've been so busy getting everything ready for the concert and now it's the first night we're mentally just winding down."

"Which means we'll have to mentally wind back up if we're going to make it through the concert," Hiro said. "We've made it a pretty physically demanding show." He shook his head ruefully. "What were we thinking?"

"It'll be fine," Shuichi said, smothering another yawn.

"You've got a few hours free when we get to the venue," Sakano put in. "Rooms have been set aside with sofa beds so you can all get some rest well before you have to begin preparing for the show."

"You're a life saver, Sakano!" Shuichi said earnestly.

"You can thank the President," Sakano responded. "It was his instructions."

"See?" K said, smiling. "Tohma does look out for you."

Shuichi didn't answer, just stuck his tongue out at K.

Suguru shook his head. "How juvenile," he muttered.

"So how was Yuki?" Hiro asked, turning to look at Shuichi. "Sorry we had to pull you away after telling you take the time off."

"It's okay," Shuichi said, smiling at his friend. "I'm sorry you both were doing all this stuff without me. I didn't realize."

"We thought you could do with a break," Suguru put in. "It was unfortunate that we were not considered enough of a representative sample."

"I think you and Hiro are plenty good enough!" Shuichi declared, pulling himself up straighter. "You're both as much Bad Luck as I am so they should have been more than happy if it was just you two!"

Suguru looked at him skeptically. "Are you saying that because you mean it, or because you just want to be able to sneak off to spend more time with Yuki?"

"Because I mean it, you ass!" Shuichi exclaimed, getting riled.

"Oh, then in that case – thank you, that's really nice of you to say that," Suguru said, complete nonplussed by Shuichi's indignation.

Hiro just chuckled, amused by watching the by-play between his bandmates. "Yeah, thanks, Shuichi. However, we both know that Bad Luck wouldn't be anything without your voice so we don't really blame the interviewers for wanting you to be there as well. But we are sorry for busting up your date. So how did it go?"

"Ah, uhm," Shuichi flushed as he remembered the last passionate kiss he had shared with Yuki. "Good – I think."

"You think?" Suguru raised one eyebrow as he looked at Shuichi, then sighed. "Honestly, I don't know what to do with you two. Will you just get yourselves sorted out and get back together."

"Hey, what if I didn't want to get back together with him?!" Shuichi stated, glaring at Suguru.

"Oh, please!" Suguru replied, rolling his eyes. "You so want to be with that man and always have! So much so that it's driven the rest of us nearly insane from the very beginning. Even when you say you don't want to, you obviously do!" Suguru paused, then looked at Hiro. "Did I just almost sound like Shuichi then?" he asked evenly.

Hiro nodded solemnly. "You did."

Suguru nodded his head slowly in return. "I thought so." He lifted one hand up to cover his eyes. "My life is truly doomed now."

Shuichi began to chortle, before laughing fully. "You two!" he gasped between laughter. "I am so lucky to have friends like you!"

"You've only just figured that one out?" Hiro said, grinning at his laughing friend.

Shuichi settled back into the seat again, this time feeling a little less tired, smile still on his face. He was lucky, he knew that all too well. He had great friends like Hiro and Suguru, other people helping Bad Luck be the best band in the world like K, Sakano and, yes, even Tohma, and a very supportive family. So many people who were important to him for many different reasons and they had always stood by him.

And one other – Yuki. Yuki had been there too, even when Shuichi didn't know it. Shuichi couldn't deny it any more. No matter what happened, no matter what it might have been like in the past, or what might lie ahead of them in the future, he did want to be with Yuki. It might be unnerving, and a little scary, even hurtful at times but he still wanted it. It was just as Suguru had said – there was only Yuki for him.

Shuichi reached up and lightly touched his lips with his fingertips, feeling the tingle run through his body as he remembered the touch of Yuki's lips; firm, moist, his tongue diving into his mouth, wrapping around Shuichi's, drawing it forward. Shuichi's eyes drifted shut for a moment, savouring the memory. He could almost feel Yuki's hot breath on his face, his body heat pressed against him...

Shuichi's eyes snapped open quickly, hurriedly taking a deep breath, trying to calm his rapidly beating heart and wanting to ignore the growing hardness in his pants. Not good, not good, he chided himself mentally. Got to focus on the concert tonight.

He shifted to try and get a little more comfort. He had to try and compose himself. What if Yuki turned up tonight? Shuichi had invited him, albeit a little hurriedly and he really hoped Yuki would come. But if he did what was Shuichi to do if he couldn't control himself? He could hardly sing in front of a packed crowd with a hard-on! That would so not be cool!

-oOo-

"Hey, what's going on?" Shuichi queried, seeing the crowd gathered in the corridor ahead of them. They had arrived at the concert venue and were making their way to the dressing rooms set aside for Bad Luck. The rooms for Nittle Grasper were on the opposite side of the stage, not because of any particular rivalry between the two bands, but it made it simpler for the support personnel in the entourages to not have to be dodging each other as they hurried about their business.

They drew closer and a hand dropped heavily on Shuichi's shoulder, immediately halting him. He looked up at K towering above him, staring intently ahead.

"All of you stay here," he instructed, pushing past them and striding briskly towards the crowd.

"What's up do you think?" Shuichi mused.

"Don't even think about it," Suguru said at Shuichi's side. "K told you to stay put."

"He told all of us to stay here," Shuichi said pointedly.

"Yeah, but he knows you're the only one likely to disobey him," Suguru replied evenly, not even looking at Shuichi.

Shuichi didn't bother replying for K was walking back to them, a frown on his face.

"What's up?" Shuichi asked before anyone else could.

K looked down at Shuichi for a long silent moment then pursed his lips, glancing back over his shoulder before returning his gaze to the group before him.

"This will probably piss Tohma off but you all should know about this," he finally said. "Come on."

He turned and began to walk toward the gathered crowd and the members of Bad Luck fell in behind him, Sakano bringing up the rear. K pushed past the people and went directly through the open door, closing it firmly once they had all entered, blocking the rest of the crowd out.

"What's going on, K?" Hiro asked.

K nodded towards a jumble of material piled on the floor. "That," was all his said.

Shuichi looked closer and saw that what he had just thought was pieces of cloth were in actual fact recognizable clothing. His clothing.

"Wah!" he cried out, leaping forward and reaching down to grab them.

"Stop!" K's large hand wrapped around his wrist, tightening in a vice-like grip that actually hurt.

Shuichi winced and then he felt K loosen his hold a little.

"Sorry, Shuichi, I didn't mean to hurt you but take a closer look. And don't touch," K instructed.

Shuichi followed this advice and now saw that especially in the middle of the pile there seemed to something odd.

"It's acid," K said, now releasing Shuichi fully.

"Acid?" Shuichi looked up at him confusedly. "I don't get it."

"Shuichi," K said softly. "Someone poured acid over your clothes."

Shuichi stared at the mass at his feet, now seeing more clearly the way the various synthetic materials had melted and seeped into each other, a mangled, sodden mess, still giving off stringent fumes now the room was closed.

"Who…?" Hiro began.

"Don't know yet," K said, "But I will."

"As will I," a voice said behind them making them all jump and turn.

In the doorway stood Tohma, none of them having even heard the door being opened. Behind the NG President stood Sakano, face flushed and chest still heaving, evidence of his haste to report to his master, with Ryuichi and Noriko completing the group.

Tohma strode into the room and stared down at the ruined clothing at his feet. He toed it carefully, before turning to K.

"Is there anything else untoward in the room?" he asked.

"Not that I could find," K answered. "I did a quick sweep but I haven't investigated thoroughly yet."

"Then I would suggest that you do so," Tohma stated evenly.

"On it," K almost snapped the heels of his shoes together and Shuichi wouldn't have been surprised if he had saluted. As funny as it might have seemed, Shuichi could see that K wasn't taking this frivolously at all.

Tohma then turned to face Bad Luck. "It would appear," he said quietly. "That there is someone who has an….issue with you, Shuichi."

"Why do you think it's just Shuichi?" Hiro asked. "It might be they just don't like Bad Luck."

"It's only Shuichi's clothes," Surguru answered before Tohma could. He looked up from where he had hunkered down close by the clothes pile. "There's only Shuichi's clothes here; not yours, nor mine."

"Could still be coincidence," Hiro insisted.

Surguru shook his head. "Hardly," he said firmly, standing. "It's easy enough to tell whose clothes are whose going by the sizing. This," and he nodded to the pile, "was definitely about just Shuichi."

"Have there been any other…instances of this nature prior to this?" Tohma asked.

"No," Shuichi responded immediately, then paused. "Well, not really."

Tohma fixed him with a steely look which made him immediately begin to squirm.

"Well, there's just been a few weird things over the past few days. Nothing really important, just little stuff," Shuichi hurriedly tried to explain. He was beginning to get that panicky feeling of being a butterfly pinned on a board.

"What…things?" Tohma asked very slowly. Ryuichi stepped forward and placed a hand on Tohma's shoulder, also looking at Shuichi.

"Uhm, well, I've not been able to find a few little things lately – you know, just little stuff like a belt, or my watch, or a necklace. But, hey, that's probably just me being forgetful, right?" Shuichi said hurriedly, trying to laugh it off. The lack of expression on Tohma's face was beginning to unnerve him, but even more frightening was the serious expression on Ryuichi's. Shuichi had sometimes seen Ryuichi look serious, but the expression he wore at this moment he had never seen before and a coldness was beginning to grow in his gut.

"Continue," was Tohma's only response.

"Ah, there were those chocolates that made me feel kind of sick," Shuichi muttered.

"Chocolates?" Tohma turned his head to now pin K with his gaze.

K had the good grace to look a little embarrassed. "I got them tested and found they just had some sort of sleeping potion injected into them. Probably valium and other stuff like that. It wasn't enough to have done any real harm even if you ate the entire lot, just put someone to sleep or make them a little queasy from the mixture."

"And you failed to tell me this why?"

"I thought it was just a harmless prank and not worth making a big fuss about since I was looking into it. Sorry, my bad," K bowed to indicate his acknowledgment of his miscalculation.

Tohma turned away from him, clearly showing his displeasure. "Anything more I should…be aware of perhaps?"

"Well, it's really hard to know what might be the wrong things," Shuichi complained. "I mean, I'm always getting flowers and cards, and sometimes creepy mail…"

"Creepy mail?" Tohma's sharp voice cut Shuichi off mid-sentence, accompanied by a sharp gasp from Noriko. Shuichi shot a quick glance towards her to see both her hands had risen to cover her mouth, her eyes wide. He swallowed hard, not understanding, feeling undercurrents swirling beneath the words and events of now that seemed to have far greater meaning to the members of Nittle Grasper, and he was sure he didn't want to know what was hidden within those depths.

"Uhm, yeah," Shuichi said. "You know, the usual stuff. Not everyone likes Bad Luck. Personally I can't see why you would bother going to all that trouble to write to someone just to tell them that they don't like you, or don't like your music. And I mean, sometimes the mail from the fans that do like you is even creepier!"

"Where?"

"Eh? Where what?"

"The mail!" Tohma's tone stabbed right through Shuichi, making him take a back step unconsciously.

"Ah, I…don't know," Shuichi looked around the room, glancing towards Hiro and Suguru. "I just sort of read some of it and then throw it out or leave it around. I don't know where it goes after that." Hiro and Suguru also shrugged, indicating their lack of knowledge.

"Sir," Sakano put in from behind, leaning forward to speak quietly into Tohma's ear. "Most of the mail would have been collected and boxed before being placed in the store room as per my instructions."

"Get them," Tohma ordered, not looking at his subordinate. Sakano bowed and swiftly exited the room. Shuichi could see that the crowd of people in the corridor had dissipated, probably dissolved by the mere presence of Tohma Seguchi.

"You three will be taken to Nittle Grasper's rooms," Tohma stated. He fixed K with a hard look. "You," he emphasized, "will escort them there and check every inch of those rooms before allowing them to enter. They will then not leave there until I indicate otherwise and no-one," again the emphasis on this word, "is allowed to enter without my permission. All personnel entering will be searched and watched at all times whilst in Shuichi's presence." He paused for a moment, holding K's gaze. "Is that understood, Mr Winchester?"

K dropped to his knees before Tohma and kowtowed, holding the position for a long moment, then only raised his head slightly to answer, "By your command."

Shuichi could only stare, dumbfounded. He had never seen K like this. He'd never bowed to Tohma, although he would show respect to him, there was never this subservience. There was no snappy comeback from the American, no laughing the matter off and telling Tohma he was stressing over nothing, no back-slapping the members of Bad Luck and reassurance that there was nothing to worry about as K pulled out his ever present and extensive arsenal hidden somewhere on his person.

Instead there was this tension, a tension so thick it was almost difficult to breath, choking him. He didn't understand why things had suddenly turned out like this. There had always been fans and some strange things sometimes so why was Tohma so concerned over this? He could understand some of the reaction. It was a worry that someone could have got into their rooms and done this but that could be fixed with just tightening security surely?

"Now," Tohma turned his back on the still bowed K to face Bad Luck. "You will follow K and obey his every instruction, is that clear?"

"Don't you think…" Hiro began but was immediately cut off by Tohma.

"You will do as you are told!" he said sharply in a tone that brooked no further argument.

Hiro snapped his mouth shut and just nodded, mirrored by Suguru. Tohma pinned his gaze upon Shuichi waiting for his capitulation. A part of Shuichi wanted to rebel at this heavy handed treatment, but the look in Tohma's eyes, the emotion that glimmered there which Shuichi couldn't determine, instead made him nod slowly also.

"Good." Tohma turned and headed for the door. "Carry on."

Ryuichi stepped closer to Shuichi, reaching out to rest both hands on his shoulders, looking him in the eye. "Do as Tohma says," he spoke in an even, quiet voice, sounding every inch the serious adult. Shuichi wished fervently for the insane giddiness he usually portrayed. This was unsettling him even further.

"He will keep you safe. Always," Ryuichi continued, giving Shuichi's shoulders a final squeeze, then he too left.

As the door closed once more, leaving only Bad Luck and K within the room, the silence held. Then almost in unison they all exhaled deeply, trying to re-establish their inner equilibrium. K stood, brushing his trousers down as he straightened up.

"So," he said, looking at Bad Luck. "Let's get you three settled in your new quarters." He smiled then to relieve their still worried looks. "Nothing else is probably going to happen so don't look so worried. I'll be checking everything out and security will be doubled, you can be sure of that. No-one's going to be able to get close to you to do anything stupid. I guarantee it."

K's smile suddenly broadened into his usual smirk and the wicked glint returned to his eyes, the only warning the members of Bad Luck had before he reached out and scooped Shuichi up under his arm and headed for the door.

"Let's go troops!" he called out, pumping the air with his free hand. "Time for battle!"

"Put me down!" Shuichi yelled from his hanging position. He flailed his arms and legs violently but it had no effect on K's grip in the least. "K!!!"

"Some things just don't change," Suguru said as he followed.

"So it seems," Hiro agreed, chuckling as they followed after the still protesting Shuichi.

However, Hiro noted the two dark-suited men that fell in behind them at a discreet distance, one hand hidden beneath their jackets. For all K's bravado he obviously wasn't taking any chances. Hiro wasn't at all comfortable about this. Not at all.

-oOo-

Tohma strode down the corridor, people melting out of his way like the parting of the Red Sea before Moses. His mind was racing furiously, assimilating everything that had just occurred.

"I want everyone screened before entering this back stage area, right down to the janitors and catering staff," he said abruptly. "Run security checks on the entire entourage again."

"Yes, sir," Sakano answered briskly, notebook already in hand and writing, having retaken his place behind his master.

"Get double security on all entrances and exits to this area, even if it means ventilation shafts. There is not to be a single means of entry into this location which is not monitored, understood?"

"Yes, sir."

"Cordon off Bad Luck's rooms. No-one goes there for any reason. Place guards there to ensure they remain untouched."

"Yes, sir."

"Where is the mail?" he asked, still walking.

"I placed it in your private office personally," Sakano said. "The door has been locked as usual."

"Good." Tohma wasn't too worried about that. Only Sakano and he had the key card to that door and the day Sakano betrayed him Hell would freeze over.

"Begin those preparations and then report back to me," he instructed. "I will be in my office."

"Yes, sir."

Tohma heard Sakano's footsteps recede in the opposite direction. That was a beginning anyway. But still, how did this happen? Why did it happen? And here of all places, here in New York? He was beginning to believe that this place was cursed for him. Firstly Yuki, then Ryuichi, now Shuichi…

"Tohma," a quiet voice said as a hand dropped onto his shoulder, breaking into his spiraling thoughts, halting his progress.

He turned his head to see Ryuichi standing by his side.

"Where's Noriko?" he asked, not seeing their other friend.

"She's gone to check on her family," Ryuichi said.

"Ah, yes." Noriko's husband and daughter had arrived the day prior to see the concerts. "I don't believe they are in any danger but it is best to be certain. I'll arrange for security for them to be sure."

Tohma turned and began to walk away again but was halted by Ryuichi once more.

"Tohma," Ryuichi said softly. "This isn't your fault."

"Then whose it?" Tohma questioned, meeting his friend's gaze unflinchingly. "I brought them here. I am responsible for this and all the arrangements that go with it."

"You cannot do everything by yourself," Ryuichi stressed. "You cannot control everything."

"I can," Tohma said in an intense voice. "I must. I will not let history repeat itself." He reached out then and lightly touched Ryuichi's cheek. "I will not fail him as I did you."

Ryuichi reached up and clasped Tohma's hand, drawing it down to rest against his chest, holding it there. "You didn't fail, Tohma," Ryuichi said. "You saved me. I remember." He bowed over Tohma's captured hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it. "You have never failed me. Ever."

Ryuichi lifted his head then and smiled at Tohma, drawing an involuntary smile in return. "And you won't fail this time either. I know you won't." He released Tohma's hand and stepped back a little, still smiling.

Tohma still felt the guilt gnawing at him, deep in his soul. He couldn't be reassured by Ryuichi's words. The memories of those previous times in New York still haunted his darkest nightmares; nightmares that woke him in a cold sweat, heart beating with fear from the what-ifs. How could Ryuichi say he hadn't failed at that time? Ryuichi had suffered so much and it could only have been Tohma's fault. There was no-one else to blame.

"Hey," Ryuichi abruptly said, making Tohma refocus on him. Suddenly something soft hit the side of his head firmly making him blink in surprise. Ryuichi held up Kumagoro by one faded pink arm, smiling broadly behind. "Kumagoro says that you have lots to do but he knows you'll make it all right again. He thinks you're the greatest!"

"Does he now?" Tohma mused, staring into the tiny button eyes of the plush toy. "Does he really?"

"Yep!" Ryuichi crowed. He pulled the toy against his chest and hugged it hard, still grinning. "Kuma thinks you're the smartest, strongest person he's ever known. He knows you won't let anything beat you!"

"Ah, is that so," Tohma nodded slowly, then smiled at Ryuichi. "Well then, I had best get onto things, hadn't I?" He reached out and gently patted Kumagoro's head. "I wouldn't want to disappoint Kumagoro now, would I?"

"You won't," Ryuichi declared. "We believe in you!"

"Thank you," Tohma said softly, smiling at his friend. He took a deep breath, letting his mind clear as he exhaled slowly. "I had best be going. There are still many things to do."

"And don't forget the concert!" Ryuichi called after him as he began to walk away.

Tohma looked back to see Ryuichi waving at him.

"It's time for us to shine!"

Tohma waved back and then carried on his way. Yes, there was a lot to do still, including for tonight's concert, and he wasn't about to let Ryuichi down.

He reached his office, swiping his card and entering, ensuring the door was locked securely behind him. He sat down and pulled out his phone, pressing the speed dial number, listening impatiently through the ringing.

"Jim Harris," was the answer he received.

"Jim, it's Tohma."

"I know who it is," was Jim's testy reply. "Your id shows up when you call. Make it short. I'm up to my eyeballs in a report that I've got to get done for a court case."

"I…see," Tohma hesitated. He was being unreasonable here, calling Jim suddenly like this. Jim wasn't his own personal police force, he wasn't there to be at his beck and call. The man had done more than enough for him over the years; he shouldn't keep imposing on him like this. If anything, Tohma owed him.

"Tohma?" Jim's voice jolted through him as he realized that his thoughts had wandered which was very unlike him. "Hey, what's up? You okay?"

"I'm sorry to have troubled you. It was inconsiderate of me," Tohma said apologetically. "I won't hold you up any longer. My apologies."

"Shit! What the hell's happened?!"

"What do you mean?"

"Tohma, if you're apologizing to me that much then something really bad has gone down! Nothing's happened to Ryu, has it?"

"No, not Ryuichi," Tohma tried to reassure his friend, now sorry to have bothered him at all and making him worry unnecessarily.

"So who then?"

"Who?"

"Geez," Jim sounded exasperated. "Tohma, do you really think I'm stupid?"

"Of course not," Tohma stressed. "I never have."

"Then stop treating me like I am!" Jim snapped. "You wouldn't have called me like this just for a simple chat; you're acting weird by apologizing which isn't your usual style; and you've pretty much admitted that something is wrong and although it's not concerning Ryu it must be concerning someone important to you or you wouldn't have called me at all. So just cut the crap and tell me what's going on."

Tohma thought about still trying to deny everything but decided against it. Jim was right after all, and it was doing Jim a disservice by trying to pretend otherwise.

"You remember Shuichi Shindou?" he asked.

"The singer kid that Yuki has the hots for?"

"Yes, the very same," Tohma half-smiled at Jim's summation.

"Well, sure I do. So what's this got to do with him?"

"Someone got into his dressing room today and poured acid over his stage clothing," Tohma said succinctly.

"Shit!" Jim swore softly. "That's not good. Any leads?"

"We are only just beginning to look into it," Tohma replied. "However, we are uncertain if this is an isolated instance or if it has been building over time."

"So there's been more?"

"Perhaps," Tohma said. "Shuichi has indicated that some small personal items of his have been missing over the past few days. Also, a box of chocolates was delivered to him which apparently had been laced with some concoction which fortunately wasn't lethal. He also indicated that some of his fan mail was perhaps a little…disturbing."

"Shit, shit, shit," Jim muttered.

"You are wearing that word out," Tohma said mildly.

"I'm trying to keep things toned down as I'm in the office," Jim replied. "Believe me, I want to be saying a lot more!"

"So what do you think?" Tohma asked. "Do we have something more to worry about?"

"Hard to say," Jim answered honestly. "It could all be isolated instances, completely unrelated. Some could just be simple, innocent mistakes like Shuichi losing his own stuff, or the letters having no real meaning. Or…"

"Or they could be leading to something far more serious," Tohma finished.

"Yeah," Jim agreed. "And I hate to say this, but spiked chocolates and acid are seriously not the norm. Under any circumstances."

"Yes, I realize that," Tohma agreed.

"So who have you got on it?" Jim asked.

"K is conducting his investigation and he will be responsible for tightening up security."

"Oh, that weird blond guy of yours?" Jim asked. "Yeah, he'll do. He seemed to know his stuff. What else?"

"That's all for the moment."

"Tohma, you've got to get the police in on this one," Jim said firmly.

"I don't wish for this to be detrimental to Bad Luck. Bad publicity at this time could doom the success of the concert and their potential status in this country," Tohma stated.

"Yeah, but putting business aside for the moment, you also don't want them raked over the coals by the press prying into their lives and stuff, do you?"

Tohma didn't reply.

"Call those two boys in," Jim said firmly. "You know you can trust them and they're good. Get them there now – use your influence and pull what strings you have to and request them specially for this case as you'll be outside their jurisdiction. You need to have them there pronto before the crime scene gets messed up."

"I've closed the rooms down and restricted access already," Tohma put in.

"Good," Jim sounded pleased. "So make your calls and get Dee and Ryo there now. They'll take it from there. And don't obstruct them, you hear? They can't do their job if you're stonewalling. Give them everything they ask for, okay?"

"Of course," Tohma said. "I would do nothing else."

"Don't give me that bullshit," Jim snapped. "I know exactly how difficult you can be in these circumstances so don't give them any grief. Let them get on and do their jobs if you really want this sorted out."

"I give you my word," Tohma said sincerely.

"Okay. Tell Ryo to keep me in the loop, and you call me too. I want to know what's going on every step of the way," Jim said firmly. "I mean it, Tohma. Don't leave me out in the cold on this one."

"I won't. I promise," Tohma vowed.

"I've got to go. Talk to you later."

"Thank you," Tohma said with feeling. "Thank you for your guidance."

"Hell, I haven't done anything," Jim replied. "You've already done the key things. It's damn scary when I see you able to second guess us so easily sometimes. If you decided to become a master criminal we would really be in trouble."

"I'm not planning to do so any time soon," Tohma reassured him. "You'll be the first to know if I do."

"Humph!" Jim chortled. "That's when I'll retire and live a nice quiet live as a hermit on some deserted island. You can have the rest of the world."

"That sounds fair, I suppose," Tohma smiled at the thought.

"See ya," Jim said then and hung up.

Tohma flicked through the stored numbers on his phone, finding the one he needed and dialed again. After another three calls he finally dialed the one he really wanted to make.

"Ah, Ryo, it's Tohma Seguchi again. I'm very sorry to trouble you but I have a problem that I require you and your partner's attendance once more. Had you received notification that I would be contacting you? You had? Good. Could you please come here immediately? I will explain everything in detail at that time. Thank you. I am most grateful and look forward to seeing you."

He hung up and set the phone down, resting his chin on his joined hands for a moment, elbows resting on the desk before him. He had done all he could at this time, the wheels had been set in motion and he could only ensure they maintained their momentum now.

He gazed into the space before him, eyes not seeing the room at all but looking inward. He would not let this end the way it had before. He would protect Shuichi!

At any cost.

-oOo-

"Do you think this is all really necessary?" Shuichi asked once K had left them ensconced in what was to have been Nittle Grasper's ready room and had instead been hurriedly altered to accommodate three sofa beds, already full extended.

"Tohma and K obviously do," Hiro said, laying down on one of the beds, cigarette in his mouth, ashtray resting on his chest. He stared at the ceiling, watching the smoke drift upwards. "I don't know whether to be worried because they are taking such precautions or completely unconcerned because they are the ones organizing it so I'm certain nothing could happen." He tapped the ash from his cigarette into the ashtray. "It's a weird feeling."

"You're right," Suguru said from where he sat on top of one of the other beds, frowning. "It is worrying that my cousin is acting as though there could be a serious problem, however I know full well that if he is taking control there will not be a thing undone or forgotten to maintain our safety. I for one will believe in him and try not to worry."

Shuichi gnawed at his bottom lip for a moment, brow furrowed as he thought. "I guess you're right," he finally said with a sigh. "It's not like we can do anything about it and worrying isn't going to solve anything. I guess we've just got to trust in them."

"Besides," Hiro said, turning his head to smile at Shuichi. "You really need to be focused on the concert. Won't Yuki be here?"

"I'm not sure he'll come," Shuichi muttered.

"Why not?" Suguru said in surprise. "Didn't you ask him? We delivered the tickets to everyone else you wanted to come."

"I did ask him," Shuichi declared. "Just not in the way that I had intended to. I had meant to when he first arrived but we got into an argument, then we...um, kind of got sidetracked and then K dragged me off. So I didn't exactly have the opportunity to do so properly."

"You argued? Again?"

"Yes, we argued but we sorted it out so everything was fine when I left. At least I think it was," Shuichi said.

"You think?" Hiro asked.

"Well, Yuki might have been a bit pissed that I left him when I was the one who invited him out in the first place."

"Hm, he could be," Hiro stubbed out his cigarette, rolling over to place it on the floor. "He's a bit like that I know, but I'm certain he'll come."

"You think so?" Shuichi queried, seeking reassurance.

"I'm sure he will. He's been here practically every day to watch you rehearse I doubt he'll pass up the opportunity to see the real thing."

"But Yuki's not really into crowds and concerts and stuff," Shuichi said, chewing on a fingernail. "He might decided it's all too much and just forget about it."

"Oh, please! That man's practically your stalker," Suguru said, laying down.

"Stalker? Yuki?" Shuichi stared at Suguru.

"Well, what else would you call him?" Suguru said, glancing over to Shuichi. "The man follows you everywhere, including around the world; knows your schedule almost as well as you; knows all your close friends and family, and can get the inside information on everything about you from your own boss."

"Well…when you put it like that it does sound a bit like a stalker," Shuichi mused.

"But only in the nicest possible ways," Hiro said with a chuckle.

"Heh," Shuichi responded, laying down also. He stared at the ceiling, hands clasped behind his head. "I really hope he does come. He hasn't heard the new single."

"He'll be here," Hiro said, yawning. "You'll see. Now I'm gonna get some shut-eye. I'm beat."

Shuichi looked over to his friend with a smile, noting Suguru already with closed eyes and breathing regularly further across. "Yeah, me too. See you in a few hours," he said.

Hiro grinned at him. "Don't be late," he replied, closing his eyes.

In a matter of moments Shuichi could see that Hiro had fallen asleep also and he felt his own eyes begin to feel heavy and drift closed as sleep beckoned. He couldn't worry about anything else. The concert was what was important, nothing else. Tohma would look after all the rest.

As sleep dragged him down further one last thought lingered; his hope that Yuki would be there when he awoke.

-oOo-

"So how do you feel?" Hiro asked, taking a drink from the water bottle in his hand. He would much rather have had a cigarette but that wasn't a good idea just before going on stage.

"I'm fine," Shuichi answered, flashing a bright smile at his friend. "Perfectly fine."

"Uh huh," Hiro responded, watching Shuichi continue to rapidly pace before me. "Glad to see that you've got nerves like steel."

"Huh?" Shuichi halted abruptly as he realized what he was doing. "Ah." He grinned sheepishly at Hiro. "Funny, huh?" he said. "I've got butterflies the size of elephants stampeding in my stomach at the moment. I thought I would be over stage fright by now."

Hiro grinned at him, reaching out to ruffle his hair although the amount of hair spray and gel prevented it from moving a great deal. "You'll be okay," he reassured Shuichi. "You've never let stage fright get the better of you. Although, you have had some interesting ways of getting over it."

"So at least for this concert tour can you please refrain from doing anything strange without at least consulting us first?" Suguru said as he joined them. "We don't need any unexpected, and unpleasant, surprises."

"I'm not planning on doing anything except exactly what we've rehearsed," Shuichi pouted.

"Good," Suguru replied. "'Cause there's our cue."

Shuichi turned his attention back to the stage, just in time to hear the emcee announce Bad Luck. He had hoped that Yuki would have been here tonight, their opening concert, the one that could make or break them. However he'd been unable to find out if Yuki was here as K had confined them to their room, only allowing the necessary personnel to enter to finish costumes and make-up. K had said he would look around and bring Yuki backstage if he turned up but there had been no sign of him yet and Bad Luck was about to start.

Shuichi pushed down the disappointment and gathered his resolve. Even if Yuki wasn't there he could still sing, he could still perform, and he would give the best damn performance this crowd had ever seen!

A thunderous roar of applause filled the darkened stadium following Bad Luck's introduction making Shuichi's every nerve ending tingle with eager anticipation. Yes! This was what he was all about! This is what he had worked for and longed for! Adrenaline flowed, pumping through his veins, a broad smile growing on his face.

"Let's go!" he yelled, running forward, Hiro and Suguru close behind.

As the lights came up, illuminating the stage and the crowd's screams echoed in their ears, the opening bars of 'Rage Beat' pounded out.


	26. Chapter 26

**Title**: Unlocking My Love

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings:** some bad language

Author's Note: I didn't quite make it as a Christmas/New Year present although I had hoped to find the time to do so. So, a little late, but here it is.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, apart from Jim Harris and Annette; they belong to the creator of 'Gravitation'.

Chapter 26

Yuki ground his teeth as his ID was scrutinized for the third time since arriving at the backstage entrance to the venue. Not only were they peering intently at the special pass sent to him by Shuichi, but his driver's license and passport also. What the hell was going on, he thought darkly, glaring at the two burly men in dark suits before him, their girth completely blocking his way. One of them easily made up two of him side by side. If he tried just barreling past he was more likely to just bounce off them.

One foot began to tap impatiently as they continued to carefully study his documentation. How long does it take to check his name and photo for fucks sake? He was almost at his breaking point and ready to turn around and just get the hell out of there.

"You might try smiling once in a while, you know," a voice said off to one side. "You wouldn't look so suspicious then."

Yuki turned his head to see Tatsuha leaning against the wall, and his eyes widened in surprise. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Nice to see you too, bro," Tatsuha replied sarcastically. "You know I've been in New York since Tohma arrived." He motioned to the two dark suited guards to hand Yuki's ID back. "He's okay. I'll vouch for him."

"Yes, sir," was the monotone answer in response.

"Yeah, and why is that?" Yuki snarled at his brother, almost snatching his documents then turning his back deliberately on the guards.

Tatsuha shrugged, turning his head away as though unconcerned. "Guess Tohma thought I might like a change of scenery."

"That," Yuki said, "is just stupid." He stuffed his ID into his pockets.

Tatsuha shrugged again. "Look, Tohma just asked if I would come along, and since I wasn't doing anything special I agreed. Why would I knock back a free, all expenses paid, trip to New York? Come on, I'm not an idiot."

"That is entirely debatable," Yuki replied. "Besides, Tohma doesn't give anything away for free so what's the catch?"

"Perhaps there isn't one," Tatsuha responded. "Doesn't always have to be."

"Yeah, and pigs might fly," Yuki stated flatly, staring at his brother. "So what the hell have you been doing all this time?"

"This and that; nothing special. I've been helping out with the concert set up."

"Of course you have," Yuki said sarcastically. "I haven't seen you in all this time; you've made yourself scarce ever since you arrived. I haven't even seen you panting over that idiot Sakuma so what rock have you been hiding under? Don't tell me you've finally had a restraining order slapped on you?"

"Ha, ha," Tatsuha answered flatly without a smile. "That's just so funny, oh wise big brother. My sides are just killing me from laughter."

Yuki scowled at him. Great; now Tatsuha is acting weird as well. At least, weirder. "What stick is up your arse?" he snapped, feeling his temper beginning to fray. Too many out of the ordinary things were happening.

Tatsuha glared at him, his mouth opening as though to say something back, then he snapped it shut. He cleared his face of all expression and said evenly, "Tohma wants to see you so come on."

"What for?" Yuki asked, falling into step beside his brother.

"He wants to tell you himself," Tatsuha replied, not giving anything else away.

Yuki glanced at his brother. "At least you seem in a better mood."

"Huh?" Tatsuha shot a glance towards Yuki.

"The last time I saw you, you were acting like a prick. Oh, sorry, you are a prick."

"Amusing," Tatsuha said in a flat voice. "You're wit kills me."

"So you've obviously got over whatever had your jock strap too tight," Yuki needled a little more. His brother really had been acting strange for a while and it was unnerving that he wasn't being his usual perverted self. Especially when his idol, Ryuichi Sakuma, was in such close vicinity to him. For Tatsuha to not be stuck to that moron like a burr was not normal. Not normal for Tatsuha.

"Guess so," Tatsuha responded noncommittedly.

What the hell was up with him? Yuki didn't bother prying any further as it was obvious his brother wasn't going to tell him anything more. Something was definitely going on which Tatsuha wasn't telling him, which irked Yuki. He mentally shook himself. Why was he even worrying? What was it to him, anyway? Tatsuha's business was nothing to do with him, he had his own concerns. His brother was old enough to sort his own problems out. Still, a small part in the back of Yuki's mind continued to voice concern.

They walked in silence for a moment. "So what's going on here?" Yuki finally asked. "Why the multitude of paid gorillas?"

"Tohma will fill you in."

"I came to see Shuichi, not Tohma," Yuki grumped. He hated the feeling of being lead around by other people.

"He'll be shattered you think that way," Tatsuha said swiftly, taking Yuki aback a little. Since when did his bratty little brother get so sharp?

"Shuichi's not going anywhere and believe me, you'll want to see Tohma," Tatsuha said seriously, reaching out to open the door they had stopped before. It swung wide before Yuki could say anything more, Tatsuha stepping forward and leaving Yuki to follow.

Yuki scanned the people already filling the room. Tohma sat behind his desk, looking every bit in charge as always except Yuki noticed the faint lines between his brows, the only tell-tale sign that he was concerned about something. Sakano stood by his elbow as usual, in his ever present place. The day he didn't see Sakano there would be when he knew the world was ending. The surprise was the other two people present.

"Yo!" Dee said with a wide grin from his casually seated position, giving a casual wave.

Ryo was more formal and stood, stepping forward to extend his hand to Yuki. "Hello," Ryo said, "It's good to see you again."

"What are you two here for?" Yuki blurted out, as he returned Ryo's handshake.

"Sorry to disappoint you, honey, but we aint here to see your lovely face," Dee smirked.

Yuki scowled at him. "Have you finally done your job and found my manuscript then?" That was the only reason he could think of that would bring these two detectives to this place.

"What a warm welcome," Dee replied sarcastically. "We wouldn't be here if we didn't have to be."

Ryo smacked the back of Dee's head to stop the snide remarks and said, "We've not made any further progress on that front but investigations will continue."

"So what are you here for?" Yuki asked, sitting down and pulling out his cigarettes as Tohma nodded to Sakano, who immediately placed an ashtray at Yuki's side.

"Well, Shuichi did send us the tickets to see the concert," Ryo began.

"So where are the brats?" Yuki interrupted, looking around as though expecting Bikky et al to spring out from the walls.

"They're already seated out front so we won't be disturbed," Ryo explained.

"Aren't you two supposed to be out there as chaperones to the hormonal horde?"

"Believe me, I would rather not personally but I also don't need to have to clean up any trouble they might cause if left on their own for too long so yeah, we need to get back out there," Dee said, lighting a cigarette himself. "Except your boss here had some business for us. We can't catch a break with you lot in town."

Yuki glanced towards Tohma who had remained silent through the discourse, which was very unlike him. Tohma generally stepped in immediately to take control of any discussion. Yuki's guts twisted; he knew something bad was up.

"So is someone going to tell me what the hell is going on here?" Yuki growled, frustrated by the lack of information he was receiving.

All eyes swung to Tohma automatically, even the two detectives.

"I have requested that Ryo and Dee look into a matter that has arisen unexpectedly," he said, still sitting with hands folded before him on the top of his desk. "That is why I asked that you speak with me as soon as you arrived, Eiri, because I thought you should be aware of these matters also. However, there are only a few other people that will be privy to this information."

"What is it?" Yuki's eyes narrowed. "Is Shuichi involved?"

"He's got good instincts," Dee said to Ryo, before addressing Yuki. "Apparently someone's got a bit of a vendetta against your boy," he began, serious for once. "They destroyed some of his stage clothes. With acid."

"What? In here?" Yuki glared at Tohma.

Tohma held a hand up to calm him. "Shuichi is unharmed. It was done when no-one was present."

"So who did it?"

"That's why I requested Ryo and Dee to be present to look into this matter and discover this fact."

Yuki's eyes narrowed, attuned to the subtle nuances in Tohma's voice. "And what else?" he snarled.

"We are not completely certain this is an isolated case," Tohma answered honestly. "There have possibly been some other incidents that I had not been made aware of."

Yuki felt himself grow cold. "Like what?"

"Small things," Dee put in, "and they may be nothing to worry about or even related. We won't know until we start getting lab results back and checking through the stories."

"So what are you doing now?" he asked the detectives.

"The beat boys have been called in, and forensics. They've given the place the once over and done all they can. They've taken away some other stuff also to review in case it has some bearing. So now we wait for the analysis to come back."

"We'll be sure to keep you informed but it would be wise to take all due care yourselves of all the band members," Ryo put in. "We've arranged for some additional officers to remain here and watch during the concert."

"We've already taken steps in that direction," Tohma assured them.

"Then that's about it for the moment," Dee said, standing. "We've got all the statements and lists we could and we can start analyzing them tomorrow. Have all the staff available and we'll start working through them."

Tohma stood and reached forward to shake their hands. "Thank you for coming in on such short notice. Your assistance is appreciated."

"No sweat," Dee grinned. "Wish I had your contacts so I could get pulled off the boring cases!"

"You just don't like doing the reports and administration," Ryo admonished. "That is just called laziness."

"Well, you did come highly recommend," Tohma added.

"We did?" Dee sounded astonished. "Oh, of course we did!" He tried to cover for himself. "So who recommended us?" he asked, curious.

"Jim Harris," Tohma replied, with a smile. "I gather he trusts the opinion of his colleague who recommended you previously and was suitably impressed with your handling of that matter."

"The Fed?" Dee sounded a little smug. "I knew we were made of the right stuff. Maybe that's where we should go for, huh?" He smirked at Ryo.

"If you dislike paperwork I would probably advise against it. Jim's job seems to consist mostly of that," Tohma pointed out.

Yuki spoke up then, interrupting. "So why can't he do it?" he asked, puffing on his cigarette, a clear sign of his inner agitation.

"Hey!" Dee turned around in indignation. "What are we; chopped liver?" Ryo tried to hush his partner. Yuki just ignored him

"Jim's busy," Tohma said calmly. "And it really is outside his jurisdiction. There's no possible way he could assist us this time. However, it was on his advice after discussing the issue that I contacted Dee and Ryo. You do trust Jim's advice, don't you?"

Yuki ground his teeth. He did trust Jim; so much so that he would rather the man himself was there to take charge of things. He'd be sure to keep Shuichi safe.

He looked at Dee and Ryo and sighed. It wasn't that he didn't trust these two men but he still felt more comfortable with Jim. Perhaps it was that link with Tohma that made him feel that way. He paused in his thinking. That thought was heading in a very scary direction.

"Well, there's no helping it I guess," he finally said reluctantly.

"Excuse me for not being the big FBI hotshot!" Dee humphed, looking disgruntled. "We only tracked your missing kid down before!"

"Yeah, yeah," Yuki said dismissedly.

Dee glared at him. "Asshole," he muttered under his breath.

Yuki glared silently back at him over his smoking cigarette.

"Thank you again for coming over so promptly," Tohma said, smoothing things over quickly. "Please go and enjoy the rest of the show. I'll have someone see you to your seats." He nodded towards Tatsuha who had remained standing quietly at the back of the room till now.

"Thank you," Ryo responded. "We'll be in touch, rest assured," he directed to Yuki with a warm smile. "We'll do everything we possibly can so please have some faith."

"Huh," Yuki replied. He knew the Ryo was being completely sincere. "Thanks."

Dee just shook his head as he followed Ryo out the door. "You two seem to be a magnet for trouble," he said. "Personally, I think you should just stay back in Japan and never leave each other's sight. That will probably save a big headache for everyone."

Well, if Yuki had his way that is exactly what would happen. He wanted nothing more than to be back home with Shuichi and he was tempted to chain him in the bedroom so he could never leave again. That thought had been growing stronger with each passing day. He was constantly feeling like Shuichi was a handful of sand that kept slipping through his fingers, no matter how tightly he tried to hold on. If Shuichi was locked in Yuki's home at least nothing could happen to him there. Well, at least nothing harmful. There were plenty of things that Yuki intended to do to him in other ways!

When they had gone Yuki fixed his cold gaze upon Tohma. "So how the hell did this happen?" he grated out.

"I take full responsibility for this matter," Tohma acknowledged with an inclination of his head. "But you have my word that nothing more will occur. I will ensure that Shuichi is not placed in any further potential harm."

"Is there anything I can do?" Yuki finally asked.

"Stay close to him," Tohma advised. "As much as you are able to. I can control his movements whilst he is in my sphere of influence. However, I have no control over his time with you. He is your responsibility then. Can you do it?"

"Course I can," Yuki said, standing. "I would anyway." He paused at the door. "By the way, why's my idiot brother here?"

"I believed it might be good for him to reflect on a particular matter."

"Ryuichi?" Yuki guessed.

"Correct," Tohma nodded, for once not trying to side-step the issue of his young brother-in-law's infatuation with his friend.

"Does Ryu know?"

"Of course he does. I know you think he is not always fully aware of his surroundings but where Tatsuha is concerned he is fully cognizant of everything."

"That's what's so weird. So what do you want to happen?"

"That is entirely up to them," Tohma said.

Yuki raised a brow in surprise. "That's not like you. You're usually so protective of that idiot."

"I presume you are referring to Ryuichi, and not Tatsuha, in that comment," Tohma said with a small smile.

"I wouldn't have thought you'd want Tats anywhere near Sakuma. And Mika's been threatening to have Sakuma's guts for garters if he so much as laid a hand on Tats. So why the sudden collaboration?"

"It's not really a collaboration, but Mika is in accordance with my view in this. It simply seemed that things had reached a point where Tatsuha has to make some serious decisions where Ryuichi is concerned – one way or another. He is well of an age to do so. Some form of resolution is required if Tatsuha is to move on with his life. As it stands, it is not healthy for either of them. Tatsuha regresses to childhood adulation when with Ryuichi, which inevitably draws Ryuichi down to that level also."

"Sakuma's like that normally," Yuki snorted.

"Not exactly," Tohma corrected. "There is more…complexity to Ryuichi than you probably realize."

"I know he's more with it than most people think," Yuki said, pointing his almost finished cigarette at Tohma. "I've seen that switch of his plenty of times over the years."

"Precisely," Tohma nodded. "So you realize that the 'adult' Ryuichi is still well and truly there. For him to be the 'adult' Ryuichi, he needs to associate with adults who know and accept him in both personas so he can communicate smoothly in either manner. At this time, Tatsuha is not good for him by continuing to respond to Ryuichi in such a juvenile manner. And it is certainly would not be healthy in any form of relationship."

"So why not just tell Tats to get his head together and not act like a spaz around Sakuma?"

"You above all others should understand the difficulty of getting past childhood issues," Tohma softly chided. "It is not that easy. Tatsuha's behaviour has become ingrained with Ryuichi acting as the trigger. Tatsuha himself needs to come to terms with what is occurring and to truly wish to change and make it happen. He is the only one who can do it."

"And if he can't?" Yuki questioned.

"Then I will place a complete ban upon Tatsuha meeting with Ryuichi again," Tohma stated firmly. "I will not have Ryuichi troubled any further."

Yuki had no doubt that Tohma would enforce that prohibition with an iron glove also, to the great detriment of Tatsuha if he tried to break it.

"So you're just going along with it to see what Tatsuha decides and if he changes?" Yuki didn't sound like he believed it at all.

"I am comfortable to let things move along as they are," Tohma answered calmly. "At this point."

"Now that sounds more like you," Yuki replied.

Tohma smiled. "It would probably be best if you watch the rest of Bad Luck's set from back stage. I'm sure it will put Shuichi more at ease. Do you have any difficulty with that arrangement?"

"No, that's fine. Keeps me away from those stupid fan girls screaming in my ears," Yuki agreed, wincing at the very thought.

"I'll have someone show you the way," Tohma followed Yuki out the door. "I've got a few things I want to check on before I'll have to start getting ready myself."

"It's been a long time since you've been on this sort of stage," Yuki commented. "Nervous?"

"True, and hardly," Tohma agreed with a small smile. "I am looking forward to it with great delight." His smile grew broader. "I have every intention of making Nittle Grasper a household name once again!"

"Meglomaniac," Yuki muttered. Tohma just chuckled.

After a moment Yuki spoke again. "So what have you got Tatsuha doing while he's here?"

Tohma answered. "Despite what you might think, he's not completely free loading. I've had him running errands often enough up till this point. Now with these current developments we need the extra staff so I've put him in charge of acting as head gopher for Nittle Grasper. He knows enough about the industry to understand the general requirements and he's familiar with all our individual needs which means he can better predict our requests. That then frees up some of the more experienced staff to be with Bad Luck and provide better security for them."

"Okay, guess that'll have to do I suppose," Yuki said as he turned a corner.

Tohma caught his arm, making him look back in surprise. Tohma rarely made physical contact with people. There wasn't any need to for him to usually do so. He could make people do what he wanted just from his sheer will power. Yuki met Tohma's concerned gaze.

"Stay close by him," Tohma said. "Don't let anything happen to him." They both knew he was referring to Shuichi.

"I won't," Yuki assured his brother-in-law. "Besides, that idiot's indestructible, you know that."

That made Tohma give a small smile. "Yes, it would appear so at times." He released Yuki and stepped back. "I had best begin my preparations. Enjoy the show."

"Yeah. You don't want to keep your adoring fans waiting, remember."

"Of course not," Tohma responded suavely, sounding and looking far more like his usual self which was a relief to Yuki.

Yuki continued on, following the dark suited escort. He chewed at his bottom lip, wishing he could smoke but it was not permitted in this area. He was more concerned than he had shown to Tohma, concerned because he could see how worried Tohma was which was almost nerve racking to witness. He wasn't supposed to be the one reassuring his brother-in-law. Damn it, that was Tohma's job!

He also was trying so very hard to ignore the curling tendrils of fear churning in his gut that was like a portent that he would lose Shuichi again; this time in a permanent way. He swallowed against the lump in his throat and his hands clenched into fists. He wouldn't let that happen, not now, not ever. Never again. No-one and nothing would hurt Shuichi again whilst he stood by his side.

Yet, he couldn't help but feel a little superstitious also. As much as he usually derided the more spiritualistic views of his belief and the upbringing from his father, at a time like this it seemed to fit only too easily. It was uncanny what was happening at the moment. The same players all gathered here in New York once more; he and Shuichi - although the first time he had not physically been present with them but he had been the reason they had all gathered; Tohma, Ryo, Dee, and even Jim. Although Jim wasn't actually there he was in contact with Tohma about this, so he was still there working with them even if from a distance.

Yuki felt a cold shiver run down his spine. Was this Fate drawing them all back together? For what reason? He feared to know the answer. His escort motioned towards a chair set up in the wings of the stage, a rather comfortable chair which was a relief.

Yuki now withdrew from his inner musings, conscious finally of the din that surrounded him now he was so close to the stage like this. It had been a blessing before that he hadn't been aware of it. His ears rang, the bass beat running through the soles of his shoes, deep into his belly, pounding. He was glad he was able to remain here and away from the screaming crowd that he could hear even over the deafening sound.

He briefly wondered how Ryo and Dee were coping out in the crowd. He mentally shrugged. No doubt Bikky and the other kids were loving this – noise, lights, a mass of humanity, probably screaming at the top of their lungs along with everyone else. Well, the two detectives could split the costs of hearing aids in their retirement.


	27. Chapter 27

**Title**: Unlocking My Love

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings:** some bad language, graphic sexual acts

Author's Note: I know it's hard to believe that there's another chapter – two in one year already. Wow – I haven't done for a while! I really am hoping to try and finish this story soon(ish) if I possibly can. No promises, but I'll be doing my hardest to achieve that goal. Hope you all enjoy and thank you for your patience.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, apart from Jim Harris and Annette; they belong to the creator of 'Gravitation'.

Chapter 27

Yuki watched the performance, mesmerized just like the rest of the audience despite himself. Song after song had been sung, many of them known to him from the early days of Bad Luck. Even though he wouldn't have been able to name more than a handful of titles for them or tell you the words, he knew the music. Every familiar chord echoed in his chest, every remembered rift ran up his spine. His body responded to every song Shuichi sung, his voice winding around Yuki sensuously.

Although there were brief pauses in between songs where the members of Bad Luck would race off the stage for costume or set changes, Yuki didn't have a chance to speak to Shuichi once. Their first break from the stage wasn't till after the third song and Shuichi was just about to head back out when he spied Yuki at the side. His eyes widened in surprise, his lips parting in an 'oh'. He took a couple of steps in Yuki's direction when the roar of the crowd brought him back to his senses. His head swivelled towards the stage, the sound drawing the performer within him. A small frown creased his brow as he struggled internally with his need to please his fans and his desire to go to Yuki. He looked back towards Yuki, the frown still there.

Yuki silently shook his head at him and mouthed 'idiot', then jerked his thumb in the direction of the stage, indicating that Shuichi should go. He saw a smile twitch Shuichi's lips, growing broader as the frown disappeared. With a quick nod, Shuichi turned and almost flew onto the stage, bursting into the bright spotlights, throwing both arms up above his head with a loud yell which the crowd responded to with a deafening scream that shook the building.

That was the only interaction that Yuki really had with Shuichi during the rest of the concert. He was conversant enough with how hectic such times were and at each moment when Bad Luck left the stage he sensibly stepped back from the milling crowds that would appear, seemingly from thin air, to surround all of Bud Luck, each being separated into their own small group, so there was less chance he would be crushed unwittingly. The people here tended to be rather single-minded and it was best to not get in their way. The noise that arose was almost as loud as any stage performance with voices raised as instructions were called out in rapid fire succession, crossing over each other from each group. There was no actual shouting, everything was still organised and calm, but everyone necessary also made certain that there would be no misinterpretation of what was required either.

From the sidelines Yuki surveyed this convergence which descended upon Bad Luck, like a swarm of drones gathering around a queen bee. There would be a flurry of activity for those brief minutes, and then just as suddenly it would disperse before Bad Luck raced to their next appointed positions and the show continued.

Bad Luck's set was coming to a close. Yuki had been watching the time and so knew that it wouldn't be far away now. They wouldn't have covered every song they had ever released, but had certainly crammed in all their best sellers, the ones that had already proven to be more than popular with their fans. This would be enough to tease any new fans into buying their CDs and hear the rest. Once Bad Luck was done, Nittle Grasper would be on after the arranged intermission to finish off the rest of the night and Yuki was certain that they would receive just as warm a welcome. Most of the people here had come for them after all, although he was fairly sure that all the crowd had been well and truly converted to Bad Luck after this. The screams had just kept getting louder and louder after each song finished. The fact that Shuichi's clothes, and the others, had seemed to be getting less, and tighter, as the night went on might have also had something to do with it. Nothing like a bit of body exploitation.

Yuki couldn't deny that not only Shuichi, but also Hiro and Suguru, were looking good out there. Seductive - that seemed to be the theme of Bad Luck now. Oozing erotica with every movement and breath. Gone was the teeny-bopper fun look. Even when they were dressed similarly to the old days, as they had at the start of this concert to cover their original first songs, there was still a darker undercurrent of intensity there that they had never had before. Perhaps that had just naturally come about with maturity. Still the new makeover of Bad Luck seemed to be accepted well, not that Yuki would have expected anything less. Tohma was an expert at marketing his commodities and he had a knack for knowing when a change was needed, either for the band themselves, or for the market.

Soon, Yuki thought, as Shuichi grasped the mike with both hands as he began to sing. Soon he would be able to do more than just see Shuichi in the brief glimpses as he had all night. Soon he would be able to talk to him properly; touch him, kiss him. His fingers itched – aching to reach out and capture the man in front of him.

The opening bars rang out. Yuki knew this song; it was Bad Luck's last single, Twisting Vines. This song he recognised probably better than most because it was etched so indelibly in his mind. It had been released at one of his worst moments, believing he had lost Shuichi for good. He didn't like this song simply because of that, the bad memories it conjured up, and he could still feel his insides churn in discomfort when he heard it.

This was when Bad Luck's image truly changed, with this release – their music taking on a far darker and grittier tone. This song itself was certainly not a 'happy' one and Yuki wondered what inspiration Shuichi had used to write it. He'd been afraid to ask but he had a horrible inkling that perhaps it had been due to his possessiveness during that time and this was Shuichi's way of expressing his feelings in response. It didn't portray a healthy relationship for them by any means, especially if you listened to the chorus which Yuki was forced to do now.

'Crushing my heart,

Wrapping around every part,

Strangle and choke me,

Steal the breathe from my body

You make my soul slave to only you,

Hang me on the cross high above,

You're killing me with these twisting vines,

Twisting vines of your love.'

Yuki cringed as Shuichi continued singing, his voice taking on an almost tortured tone, one filled with pain, loathing, anger. If it did truly reflect Shuichi's thoughts and feelings at that time Yuki didn't think he wanted to find out for certain. The last thing he wanted to do was to make Shuichi remember anything remotely like what those lyrics were implying. Had he really felt so suffocated by Yuki's attentions? Yuki mentally shook himself. It was time to move on from there. Whether they were what Shuichi was feeling then or not didn't matter now. They had to move forward and create a new future for them both.

"He's good, isn't he?" a voice said behind Yuki

He turned his head to see Annette standing there. He frowned in automatic irritation at her presence despite knowing how irrational he was being. She actually hadn't ever done anything to make him dislike her. He had finally had to acknowledge that it was simply his jealousy in knowing that she had once had Shuichi too. And the one thing that Yuki hated most was sharing.

He looked back to the stage, watching as Shuichi raced across it, throwing his free hand out towards the crowd as he sang and the screams increased to a deafening roar. "Yeah, so it would seem," was his response even as he winced a little at the volume assaulting his eardrums. He really did hate concerts.

He heard Annette's light laugh and he looked back to her again, seeing her still standing there, smiling, head cocked slightly to one side as she met his gaze directly. She really was quite attractive, probably even more so than he remembered from their first meetings. Once he would have had no qualms in bedding her, just as he had so many other attractive women. As long as there was some physical compatibility he'd been fine with that. Or was he finding her more attractive now because she seemed more at ease around him, even without Shuichi's presence, able to meet his gaze without a flinch. It seemed as though something had changed in her, although he wasn't able to understand what. A thought surfaced unexpectedly. What if Shuichi found these changes in Annette just as appealing? He squashed that thought as swiftly as swatting a bug and scowled. He didn't care if Shuichi did. He wasn't letting him go this time!

Annette seemed oblivious to his tumbling thoughts as she stepped up to stand next to him, her eyes fixed on Shuichi now also, the smile never leaving her face. "He really comes alive when he's on stage, doesn't he? It's just incredible to watch how he transforms. I know that he's normally kind of larger than life most of the time but when he's out there," and she nodded towards the stage "it's as though he becomes ten times more than what he usually is. Everything about him intensifies. I thought he was great during the rehearsals but this," she paused. "This is something else. He's on an entirely different plane of existence. He becomes…magical."

Yuki couldn't say anything to that. He certainly couldn't argue as that was exactly how he thought also. Perhaps he and Annette had more in common than he had ever given her credit for. Apart from Shuichi. They stood together, not speaking, just letting the music and soaring song wash over and around them, seeping through their pores into their souls, engulfing them completely.

"You know, it's been really great seeing him like this, and everyone else. It's so different to what I imagined it would be." Annette gave a small laugh. "Not that I had really imagine it before. I've never once thought that I would be involved in this type of industry in any sort of way. Certainly not seeing a famous band getting ready to put on a concert in a place like this! It's really given me an appreciation of all the effort and hard work that it takes, from the performers right through to the people just making it all happen. It's been a real eye-opener and fun too being involved in this crazy world. I don't think I'll ever meet a more 'intense' group of people than those I have here." She threw a look towards Yuki. "You know, Mr Seguchi has got to be one of the most scary men I've ever met."

"Thought you would have thought Sakuma was," Yuki grunted, still watching Shuichi.

"Oh no," Annette replied, turning her attention back to the stage also. "He's a little weird but not scary. There's just something about Mr Seguchi that makes me feel like a mouse trying to sneak past a sleeping cat."

Smart girl, Yuki thought. She's got a good instinctive grasp of potential danger. And the analogy of Tohma as a cat wasn't that bad. Tohma could seem all sweetness and light and pleasant and make you want to stroke him to keep him happy, but do something to upset him and watch out for the claws because you won't see them coming.

"Still even he has been really kind and tolerated me being around even though I'm nothing to do with this concert, just because I'm Shuichi's friend. He's told me heaps of things and answered every one of my questions, even though I'm sure some of them must have been really stupid. So I'm glad I had the chance to be involved in this as I've really learnt a lot."

What was she trying to say? Was she implying that she was going to look at a way to stay on and make a career in this industry? Was that why she was questioning Tohma? Damn it, did that mean that she was still after Shuichi? Yuki gnawed at his bottom lip furiously.

"Oh, well," Annette suddenly patted him on the shoulder, startling him. "I leave him to you now." She winked at him with a broad smile. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do!"

She began to walk away when Yuki finally found his voice. "Hey!" he called out. She stopped and half turned, a quizzical expression on her face. "Where are you going?" he blurted out.

"Home," Annette answered. "Unlike you lot I've got to get back to the real world and my break is well over." She grimaced then. "I'm going to be so far behind with my assignments. I'm sure my lecturer is pretty pissed off with me and will probably mark me down anyway just out of spite!"

"You're…not staying?" Yuki felt conflicted. He didn't want her here yet at the same time this all seemed so sudden. What if Shuichi blamed him for scaring her off?

"Of course not," Annette sounded astonished that he even had to ask. "I just tagged along on my way home. I was never going to hang around here for long."

Her eyes wandered back to the stage and that gentle smile curved her lips again as she watched Shuichi. Yuki was beginning to realise that that smile was only ever for Shuichi. He couldn't help but wonder if he did the same. No, couldn't be. He didn't smile – at least not much.

"So when are you leaving?" he asked gruffly, feeling almost embarrassed at seeing that smile. He knew only too well that some things like that were…private.

"Now," Annette replied, turning away from the stage again, one hand reaching up to push away her hair from her face.

Yuki blinked again and his fingers had that uncontrollable urge to find a cigarette. "Right…now?" he clarified, thinking he must have misheard her.

She nodded. "Yes. I've got my bags here and Mr Sakano has called a taxi which should be," and she glanced at her watch "here right now actually. They better wait for me or I'll be really mad if I miss my plane!"

"Why the rush?"

Annette tilted her head to look at him and raised one elegant eyebrow. "Are you saying you want me to stick around longer?" she challenged him. Now that was part of the change he'd noticed. Once, long ago, he knew she would never have dared that. Something really had changed in her.

He turned his head away and sniffed. "Got nothing to do with me," he snapped.

She laughed. "There's no need for me to stay any longer and this is the last flight tonight for me to catch. I just wanted to see Shuichi's opening show after watching all the lead up to it. It's been fantastic; really, really great."

"It's not over yet," Yuki said, wondering why he was still talking to her. Why didn't he just shut up and let her leave. It was like he was trying to make her stay which didn't make any sense at all.

"Oh, there's only one more song after this," she replied. "You should really listen to it. I think it's the best thing he's done so far and I have a feeling that you just might like it."

"So why don't you wait? Aren't you even going to say good-bye to him?" Yuki said, casting a quick glance at the capering Shuichi on stage. "That's a bit harsh isn't it?"

"He knew I would be going home sometime. And we've said everything we've needed to so it's fine." Annette said. However, Yuki heard the slight catch in her voice, even over the noise of the concert. She wasn't as completely unaffected by her departure as she seemed.

She smiled warmly at him. "I wish you all the best, Yuki." She began to walk away again, turning just as the corridor rounded a corner and raised a hand, calling back to him. "Take good care of Shuichi for me!", then she was gone, a black suited man falling into step behind her.

Yuki stood there a moment longer, staring after her before slowly turning back to the stage. He would probably always feel conflicted about Annette; what she had been to Shuichi, the time she had spent with him, the things she had done with him. She had given Shuichi a very different life to what Yuki had previously. He worried that he wouldn't be able to give Shuichi something better now. He came to a sudden realisation. So that was why had always disliked her being around. It wasn't that he hated her personally. It was the doubts that her presence raised in him over his own faults and flaws and what he could offer Shuichi. She forced him to scrutinise himself far too closely for his own comfort.

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, his chin lifting, lips set in a determined line. Fine then. He would just have to work harder at it than before. He would not lose to Annette. He would show her, and everyone else, that he was what Shuichi needed, and vice versa. He would show them that they were meant to be together and neither Hell or high water would keep them apart any longer!

He felt better now, as though he finally had a clear goal in mind. Now he just had to convince Shuichi!

Bad Luck's last song was about to begin. The crowd seemed to hold their breath, an air of anticipation filling the stadium. Not unexpected really as this would be the first time this song would be heard in public. He had known that Tohma was using this concert to help kick off Bad Luck's next album but generally he would just let the pre-released music generate the interest to buy the new album. Not this time. Their first single from the new album would be sung here, and everyone present here tonight knew they were part of something special.

The stage was dark, then soft lighting gradually eased the darkness back, just enough for eyes to adjust and be able to make out shapes in the shadows. The lights began to swirl across the stage, sliding across and over every part of it, still remaining dim, reminding Yuki of fireflies flitting across a night sky. A group of lights suddenly settled, shining directly downward on the centre of the stage. The crowd's voice began as a soft, dull rumble, slowly increasing, rising to a high crescendo of exultation as Shuichi slowly rose from below the stage floor in that exact position, the lights doing no more than cast his silhouette but there was no mistaking who it was.

The crowd was going wild, Yuki finding their exuberance rather startling. The song hadn't even begun, not even a bar of it yet they were screaming and crying out for Bad Luck. Shuichi remained where he was, holding the pose; head turned to the left, looking down, legs apart, arms slightly held out from his side. More lights were swirling around the stage, chasing each other before settling on either side of Shuichi, casting that subtle glow once more. Just as slowly, two more figures rose from the floor, again in silhouette; Hiro recognisable from the guitar slung over his shoulder, Suguru on the opposite side. Again the crowd went frantic, the cries ringing out.

Suddenly all light disappeared completely, plunging the entire stadium into inky blackness, startling everyone to full silence. Then there was a burst of sound and all the lights flared into life briefly, blindingly, showing Hiro and Suguru in place with their instruments as the introduction began. The sound of the crowd's appreciation drowned out all sound of the music for a moment.

Yuki watched as Shuichi stepped forward to reach the microphone stand positioned there as the opening bars of the song began again as the crowd's roar subsided enough so the music could be heard over it. Now the lights dimmed once more, casting a gentle glow, Suguru and Hiro no more than shadowy figures behind Shuichi, whilst a single spotlight illuminated him in the centre.

Yuki found that he was holding his breath and let it out in a whoosh. He was embarrassed to find he had been as enraptured as the rest of the crowd with these theatrics. He tried to shake the spell from his mind. He knew all about this sort of thing, how to cast an illusion to fool the eye. That's all this was, he tried to tell himself. However, although rationally his mind knew that, still his heart was captured. Everything was just perfect; completely perfect. Of course, so it should be as Tohma would have devised this, but still – this was pure magic.

The low, soft words of the song fell into the silence that had wrapped around the crowd. It was the quietest they had been all night, not a single whistle or cry broke the silence. All faces were turned to the stage, all thoughts focussed entirely on Shuichi. He held them all in the palm of his hand that easily, held them with his song. This – this is what Shuichi had always been about, his dream. To hold the entire world just as he was this crowd tonight.

Yuki could do nothing more than gaze upon the siren in front of him. Shuichi's bare torso shone from sweat, the vine pattern curling around his body glistening from the luminescent paint used and every undulation of his body made those leaves appear to shiver and twist around him like a living thing, an illusion of movement. The leather pants hung low on his hips revealing the taut abdomen muscles and smooth chest, skin gleaming with oils. His hair was slicked back, glimmering with gel or spray that sparkled like a thousand diamonds scattered in his hair.

Forcing himself to tear his gaze from Shuichi for a moment, Yuki saw that Hiro stood just behind, black leather vest open to the night air, red hair pulled up at the sides and pinned so it trailed in a long blazing tail behind him, stark contrast against the black leather, swirling around as he moved, his entire focus on his guitar.

On the opposite side, Suguru wore a sleeveless mesh shirt, sequins sewn at each cross point so every movement of his body made them catch the light and sparkle anew, his fingers dancing across the keyboard lightly, rings catching the lights like tiny sparks of fire flashing.

The heartbeat that it took for Yuki to watch Hiro and Suguru was too long and his attention immediately returned to Shuichi, unerringly homing in on him. As he watched, Shuichi slid his right hand slowly down the mike stand before him, hand sliding along the smooth metal, the motion slow and seductive.

"When they stole my mind, I lost my name

I was no more than the distant image

Of a forgotten memory

So what was left of the man I was?

If no-one found me, nothing would remain.

Beyond all time and space you searched for me

Seeking the man who once had been.

Forever beyond your reach, forever gone

Finding only what was left

Were scattered memories."

Yuki remained frozen in place, stunned by what he was hearing. Was Shuichi singing about himself? About them? His stomach back-flipped as his face grew hot. Those words sung so low in a velvet tone that crawled deep inside you squeezed his heart.

The tempo now picked up, the slow, almost ballad-like music slipping away, replaced with a harder rock tone. Shuichi pulled the mike from the stand, swinging it aside and holding it away from him at arm's length as he now sang directly into the microphone.

"Your love consumes my very soul,

A blaze of smouldering desire.

Take my love, feed my love,

Fill me up with a blazing fire."

Shuichi stepped close to the microphone stand again so it was pressed close between his legs as he ran his hand seductively downwards, almost caressing it, making Yuki swallow hard as the blood suddenly gushed heatedly through his veins in response. Shuichi's eyes were closed, head tilted to one side as he sang directly into the mike, lips so close it seemed like he was kissing it, his low voice seducing his listeners, drawing them in closer to him, making them 'feel' the power and emotion he was pouring into this song.

"Take me, hold me,

Never let me go.

Bind me so tightly I can't leave

This is a passion that I'll never know

Again"

Suddenly the lights flared up again brilliantly, lighting the whole stage, shattering the darkness so all three members of Bad Luck were clearly illuminated as Hiro's guitar riff split the air as he stepped forward to deliver the musical interlude. There was nothing soft and gentle about this song now. It was raw power and passion, the sort of passion that would eat you alive and you would gladly welcome it. The crowd's screams of appreciation split the air, almost enough to drown out the music itself as Shuichi finally swung into the chorus and the white lights blazed up around him brightly in a blinding flash every time he repeated the title word of the song, Passion.

"Passion!

Fuelling the fire,"

Hiro's and Suguru's voices melded as they sang the backup vocals, "Burn, baby, burn" after each stanza, the lights around them turning to a soft orange glow that made it look like a fire was blazing around them. Shuichi's voice continued to ring out.

"Passion!

Burning with desire,

(Burn, baby, burn)"

Passion

Taking me higher,"

Shuichi's voice began to rise, running up the musical scale.

"And higher…and higher…"

Shuichi closed his eyes as he gripped the microphone tightly, head tilted back, neck fully extended as he repeated the last two words, each time his pitch rising, maintaining that pose as he held the last echoing note that seemed it would shatter glass with its intensity. There was a single moment of silence as voice and music ceased and then a final crashing chord as the lights went out, plunging everything back into darkness.

A full three heartbeats of unearthly stillness hung over the stadium and then the noise that erupted from the crowd was like nothing they had emitted before. There was nothing to compare this to, it was pure unadulterated hysteria.

Yuki took a deep shuddering breath, still feeling the effects of Shuichi's song. His nerves seemed to continue to vibrate to the echo of the music, the words still spinning in his mind. There was no doubt in his mind this time that the song had been about them and if that were true it well and truly told Yuki how Shuichi really felt about him. The song title said it all: Passion.

-oOo-

By the time Shuichi joined him, Yuki had managed to shake off the song's spell and the world had returned to normal. The crowd was still restless as they waited for Nittle Grasper to make their entrance. Peering across the stage, Yuki could just make out Tohma, Ryuichi and Noriko on the other side, speaking to various stage hands, no doubt ensuring that every last detail was exactly as they had planned.

As the lights began to flash and a wave of music blared out from the speakers, filling the stadium, the members of Nittle Grasper walked onto the stage, waving and smiling to the screaming crowd. Ryuichi immediately stepped up to the microphone, his familiar white ruffled shirt gleaming under the lights, the flash of his bare stomach enticing as it was supposed to be. His smile was broad as he turned to nod to Tohma, who immediately struck the opening chords to which Noriko then picked up the counter melody. The crowd's cries rose as Ryuichi swung into song, and in that single moment he had them – the entire crowd was his entirely, body, heart and soul.

"No matter how many times I see them, I'm still blown away."

Yuki turned to see Shuichi at his side. He raised an eyebrow, the only show of surprise. Shuichi grinned up at him.

"I had to come up from under the stage and just finished a quick debrief over things for tomorrow night." He grimaced. "I've got to do a bit more but I want to be back to see the rest of their set." He looked up at Yuki. "Are you still going to be here?"

"Sure," Yuki stated. "I can wait."

Shuichi flashed another broad smile. "Good. Grab me another chair so we can watch the rest when I get back!"

Yuki watched him race away, joining Hiro and Suguru where they both stood also, obviously waiting. He could see Sakano hovering further in the background and three other men whom he didn't know but were probably Heads of the various departments involved in running this concert. He sat back in the chair which he actually hadn't used till now. From the first moment that Bad Luck had arrived on stage he had found himself standing, edging as close to the stage as he was able to safely do so, not because he couldn't hear but he had wanted to see Shuichi as clearly as possible.

Now he settled back comfortably, aware for the first time of how sore his legs and back were feeling from having stood stationary for so long. It wasn't that Nittle Grasper wasn't good, but he didn't have the same vested interest in them as he did in Bad Luck. Besides, he had heard everything from them before. He may not have been a fanatic about them as his brother, Tatsuha, was but he couldn't remain completely ignorant either. Not when he had been in New York with Tohma as Nittle Grasper was first developing, and not when his sister was married to one of the members. So, despite himself, he knew Nittle Grasper's music very well indeed.

And he couldn't deny that Ryuichi Sakuma was also a superb performer. Every movement, every glance, the slightest twitch of a finger portrayed something; a feeling, a desire, a need. His eyes captured and held you, and even when looking out into a crowd like this, every single person would swear that he was looking directly at them. Yuki could understand why Shuichi admired Ryuichi, and why he would use this man as his role model. It was just a pity that he was completely nuts.

Well, not completely, Yuki amended mentally. He didn't know the truth behind Ryuichi's weird behaviour but he knew enough to know that he hadn't always been like this. He vaguely remembered from when he was much, much younger that he had met Ryuichi a few times and he hadn't seemed that much different from other older kids he knew. A little weird but that was all. It was much later that he had come face to face with the Ryuichi Sakuma that existed today. Yuki wasn't afraid or worried by Ryuichi's strange personality switches but it did weird him out a bit. It was unnerving to not know to whom you were speaking at times; the child or the adult. Or that damn rabbit thing!

He continued to watch as Nittle Grasper performed. Although they were older, they still put on a consummate show for the audience. They didn't need to cavort around the stage as Shuichi did, exuding all the enthusiasm and eagerness of youth. Ryuichi strutted, arrogance and power in every move. He slinked, slithering across the stage with a sinuous feline grace that screamed out 'temptation'. Their performance was completely different to Bad Luck's, just as their music was which was just perfect.

Yuki nodded to himself. That is exactly what Tohma had probably been working towards. Initially, Bad Luck did have some similarities to Nittle Grasper. Their style of songs, even Shuichi's voice showed the reflection of their mentors. That was fine whilst Nittle Grasper was mainly inactive but Tohma wouldn't have been happy to settle for just a carbon copy of his own creation. Like any 'god' he would continue to strive for perfection, pushing forward, never settling for the same, creating something new. Now, no-one could even remotely compare the two bands and say they were the same. Their image, their songs, everything now was different. Bad Luck had evolved to the next stage of evolution.

Or mutated, Yuki muttered to himself.

Finally, Shuichi joined him, suddenly appearing by his side and throwing himself into the chair next to Yuki. He had changed, not that he had much left on to change by the end of the last song except a pair of trousers. His face still showed the stage make-up and his hair was still fixed firmly in the stage style. That would obviously take a little more time to remove. It was a pity he'd missed it, Yuki thought, thinking about Shuichi changing.

Nittle Grasper's time was coming to a close, Shuichi had really only just made it back in time for the last couple of songs. Yuki saw the pout of discontent on his lips and hid a smile. He was acting like he'd never have a chance to see them perform again. Had he forgotten that he had another three nights doing this? He really was an idiot.

When Nittle Grasper finally finished, Shuichi was on his feet just as the crowd was, clapping and whistling his appreciation, his face split by a wide smile. He kept clapping as Nittle Grasper left the stage via the other side, not ceasing as they returned and performed an encore and left again. He continued to clap as they returned for a second encore. Yuki was sure his hands would be stinging tomorrow he was slapping them together so hard. Finally, after the second encore the lights came fully on to signify that the concert was over and Shuichi dropped back into his chair.

"That was just fantastic!" he gushed. Then he pouted again. "But I didn't get to see it all."

"There's always tomorrow," Yuki reminded him.

"Oh, yeah!" Shuichi said, sitting upright quickly.

"You really had forgotten, hadn't you?" Yuki said, disbelieving.

Shuichi had the grace to look a little shamed. "Um, yeah. Kinda."

Yuki just shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Idiot," he replied.

Shuichi stuck his tongue out at him, then leapt to his feet. "Come on," he motioned. "Let's get back to our rooms."

Yuki followed him through the dark corridors, their steps shadowed by the now ever-present dark suited men that seemed to step out of the shadows everywhere they went and just as easily blend back into them. They traversed the entire back of the stage to reach the other sides and it was then Yuki remembered the disturbing events just before the show began. He frowned at the thoughts. He wouldn't let anything happen to Shuichi. He swore he wouldn't.

When they reached their destination they were waved through by the guards at the door. The suite of rooms beyond were crowded. There was Hiro and Suguru, as well as Nittle Grasper. Noriko and Ryuichi were ensconced on the couch, with Suguru squeezed between them, his expression alternating between adulation and a touch of embarrassment towards Noriko, and wariness of Ryuichi. When pink Kumagoro was sat firmly in his lap his eyes widened in surprise as he stiffened, however Ryuichi seemed content on only tease him that far. Tohma stood in the centre of the room, with Hiro perched on the corner of the table there.

Tohma looked up as Yuki and Shuichi entered, gracing them with one of his rare, genuine smiles.

"Well done," he said to Shuichi. "Bad Luck was a complete success I would suggest. I've already had word that the sale of your CDs and other souvenirs is going very well. It may well be that we will need to obtain further stock to adequately cover the potential sales over the next two nights. That will be assessed at the end of tonight's takings." He glanced at both Suguru and Hiro now also. "Your stage performance went well. I've already gone over the new plans you've made with the Heads and given my approval as I had nothing more to add."

Now that's a surprise, Yuki thought. Generally there was always something else that Tohma would insist on being changed for the better that only he had seen. Well, perhaps he shouldn't be that surprised. After all, the members of Bad Luck were Tohma's protégés and they would have had to have learnt something over the years of seeing Tohma in action.

"Tomorrow you don't need to come in early but I want you all here by midday and ready for rehearsals to ensure that the new changes are suitable. Agreed?"

Bad Luck nodded acceptance.

"Okay then," Tohma said briskly. "I have arranged to have an after-party now to celebrate our first night and all the hard work everyone has put in."

"Isn't that usually done at the end of the time?" Suguru spoke up.

"True, and we will do so then as well, but I felt that it would be good for morale to hold one tonight also. This one is just for our staff as a way of saying thank you. On the last night, the after-party will include all the dignitaries and personalities that we will have to acknowledge as part of this production. Our general staff won't all have the opportunity to attend."

"Do you think we still should?" Noriko asked quietly, looking at Tohma seriously.

Tohma's expression hardened for a moment and he gave a sharp nod. "I do. We can't suspect everyone, and K has spent this evening running the extra security checks requested on our immediate personnel. I have taken steps to limit the number of attendees in a way that also won't cause any disgruntlement. However, I don't think it is a good idea to cancel it completely and draw unwanted attention to other matters."

Noriko nodded acceptance of Tohma's reasoning.

Ryuichi plucked Kumagoro from Suguru's lap and stood, tucking the plush animal under his arm so ears, arms and legs flopped down. "Then let's go," he said with a broad smile. "We've got a party to go to!"

Noriko laughed as she stood, sliding her arm into Ryuichi's as they walked to the door. "Why not?" she said brightly. "After all, we've got something worth celebrating, don't we?"

"'Course we do," Ryuichi declared, opening the door for her. He looked over at Tohma with a wide smile. "We were shining!"

"That we were," Tohma agreed with a chuckle. He walked over to them, turning at the door to look back at Bad Luck and Yuki. "We'll see you later. I've arranged escorts for you all so don't worry about anything."

"Well," Suguru finally said, breaking the silence that had descended after Tohma closed the door behind Nittle Grasper. "That's that."

"You're supposed to sound a little more enthusiastic about it," Hiro said mildly.

Suguru looked up at him. "I'm too tired to be enthusiastic," he stated. "All I can think of at the moment is that I'm glad it's over."

"What about you?" Yuki asked Shuichi. "Do you feel the same?"

Shuichi shook his head. "Nope, not at all! I can still feel how excited I was hearing those screams calling out our name. There's nothing like that feeling!" There was a bounce in his step as he rocked on his heels.

"You did good," Yuki acknowledged, as he pulled out a cigarette. Finally he could light one, he'd been dying to all night. "You really played them well."

Shuichi flashed him a large smile, eyes still sparkling from that remembered excitement. "Thanks!"

"Yes, well, that is Shuichi for you. He's like a rechargeable battery that just keeps going," Suguru muttered, getting to his feet and stretching. He rubbed his eyes, his every action indicating tiredness. "I always find the first night the toughest," he continued. "You never know how the audience will respond; they may hate you, they may love you. It's so nerve wracking waiting to see which way it will go."

"They loved you," Hiro said, ruffling Suguru's hair with a smile. "Don't stress any more, it's over now."

"I won't, but I'm beat," Suguru commented, although he didn't look that bad really. Or perhaps it was the stage make-up hiding the signs.

"Hey, where's Annette?" Shuichi suddenly said, looking around as though she may have been in the room and he just hadn't noticed her.

Yuki felt his mouth go dry suddenly. Damn, he'd forgotten about her! What should he say? As he paused, Suguru answered instead.

"Oh, she would have left by now." He glanced at his watch as if to confirm that. "Yes, she would have gone a couple of hours ago probably. I'll bet she'll be glad to get home too."

"Left? Home?" Shuichi looked surprised, eyes wide. Obviously he had been completely unaware that Annette had been leaving tonight. For some reason Yuki was beginning to feel very guilty. Guilty for having been the one to say goodbye to her instead of Shuichi.

"Yeah," Hiro said, tossing a couple of things into his bag and lifting it to his shoulder. "She had her studies to get back to. She had apparently already extended her break once but if she waited any longer she would be in danger of being withdrawn as a no-show. It was good that she was able to stay to see tonight's show though. I gave her a couple of our autographed CDs for presents to give to her friends who are apparently big fans of ours."

"So…you both knew she was leaving?" Shuichi's voice seemed small.

Suguru looked at Shuichi, tilting his head to one side to scrutinise him. "Of course," he replied. "You knew she was going home which is why she travelled with us, because we were coming over at the same time. She had always said that she was going back."

"I know that but…" Shuichi faltered and Yuki watched the play of emotions flicker across his face. He saw Shuichi take a deep breath and give a small shrug. "I guess I just didn't think she'd be going right away," he finally said. He rubbed the side of his nose with one finger. "I would have liked to say a proper good-bye to her but I guess it's not really necessary. I'll send her some of the new photos from our shoots here as a memento of her visit with us. What do you think?"

"I think that's a great idea," Hiro agreed with a smile.

"Good!" Shuichi said firmly. "I'll ask Sakano to arrange it for us or I'm liable to forget."

"With your Swiss cheese memory, you most certainly will," Suguru stated, picking up his own small bag. He headed for the door. "You coming?" he asked his bandmates. "Otherwise we'll be really late to this party."

"Give me a sec," Hiro said, grabbing his jacket and tying up his hair. "Shu?"

Shuichi opened his mouth to answer when Yuki interrupted, "He won't be going with you."

"Okay," Hiro replied, not seeming concerned at this change of plan. "See you later," he waved, following Suguru out the door.

"But…" Shuichi began to say and then just stared at the closed door after his friends. He turned to glare at Yuki. "I wanted to celebrate with them," he growled. "We did really great tonight!"

Yuki met his gaze and slowly put his cigarette out. "I want you to celebrate with me," he said, standing in front of Shuichi and reaching out to touch his cheek.

Shuichi's eyes widened and a flush stained his cheeks. "Uh…where did you...have in mind?"

"My place," Yuki said, stroking the soft flesh with his thumb. He swore he could feel the heat emanating from Shuichi's flesh which had reddened even further.

Shuichi smiled then, a chuckle in his voice. "You're being very forward tonight." He said, looking up at Yuki. "No prevarication, no pretending this isn't exactly what you want to do? Why so blunt?"

"I liked your song." Yuki replied, not removing his hand from Shuichi's face.

"Really?" Shuichi sounded pleased. No, more than pleased and his cheeks flushed again, this time with delight. "You don't often tell me that."

"I don't often like them." Yuki stated. He reached out and slipped his other hand around Shuichi's waist, sliding it around to rest in the small of his back.

"Huh!" Shuichi chortled, though making no move to escape Yuki's grasp. "Now that sounds more like you!"

"Shut up," Yuki said, then leant down and captured Shuichi's lips in a deep kiss.

Shuichi responded without hesitation, lips parting to grant access to Yuki's tongue, his own moving forward to greet him. Yuki felt the fire rushing through his veins, his clothes seemed suddenly too heavy and thick and too tight, particularly in the groin, making him hotter.

He reluctantly pulled back, breaking the kiss, pausing only to drop a lighter kiss on each of Shuichi's closed eyelids before straightening up and taking a step back. His fingers spasmed as he forced them to fully release their hold on Shuichi.

"Let's get out of here," he said a little gruffly. "Or do you really want to go to the after-party?"

Shuichi shook his head, lips glistening with saliva. "Not tonight," he answered softly which pleased Yuki no end. If Shuichi had really wanted to attend he would have taken him, albeit with great reluctance and under obvious duress. But he would have still taken him. The fact that he didn't want to go made Yuki very, very happy.

"Come on then," Yuki headed for the door, opening it and beckoning Shuichi forward first. They were met by a black suited escort of four as soon as they exited, two stepping in front, two falling in behind, and were walked in silence outside where their escort flagged a taxi down, remaining till they were both safely ensconced inside and the door was securely closed behind them.


	28. Chapter 28

**Title**: Unlocking My Love

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings:** some bad language, graphic sexual acts

Author's Note: This was originally part of Chapter 27. However, due to the original length on some sites it was not able to be posted as one chapter so I've separated it to match the chapter numbers on all sites. So if you have already read Chapter 27 this is nothing new and you can go straight on to Chapter 29..

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, apart from Jim Harris and Annette; they belong to the creator of 'Gravitation'.

Chapter 28

The drive to Yuki's apartment didn't take very long, with traffic light through most of the city at this time of night. Shuichi followed him quietly, neither talking as the lift ascended although Yuki's thoughts were occupied with pushing Shuichi up against the elevator wall and kissing him senseless. He restrained himself admirably he thought.

He opened the door and waved Shuichi in, reaching around to flick the lights on, before closing the door behind them.

"Make yourself at home," Yuki said, as he made his way to the kitchen. "Want a drink?"

"Water, please," Shuichi said, looking around. Yuki wasn't surprised at this request. Shuichi was probably still trying to re-hydrate after his exertions on stage.

He poured himself his customary drink. Just because Shuichi wasn't having something alcoholic didn't mean he had to abstain as well. Picking both drinks up he returned to the sitting room where Shuichi still stood in the middle of the room.

"I told you to make yourself comfortable," Yuki said, holding Shuichi's drink out to him.

"I was just looking around, that's all," Shuichi defended himself. He walked over to the opposite wall and looked at the paintings hanging there. "Is this really Tohma's place?"

Yuki nodded. "It is, but he leases it out most of the time I think." He too looked around at the furnishings and décor. "I don't think he had much to do with how it looks. He probably paid for someone to do it for him."

"Must be handy though to have a place over here to come to instead of going to a hotel."

"Why don't I buy a place here then? That way either of us could use it if we have to come back. I can't see this being your last trip to the States, not after tonight's reception."

"You seem different tonight," Shuichi quizzed, looking at Yuki. "Why are you being so nice?"

"What are you talking about? I'm always nice to you." Yuki replied, taking a long drink from his glass.

"Yeah, right," Shuichi rolled his eyes, turning his head so the lights in the room caught the glitter still showing through his hair.

"Well, I'm just looking out..." Yuki's sentence trailed off and Shuichi's eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"Looking out for what? For me?" His face froze and he stepped back from Yuki. "Ah, so Tohma told you about what happened in the dressing room, did he? Is that what this is all about? You're just worried about me or something? Did Tohma tell you to watch me? Is that why I'm here?"

"No!" Yuki snapped, reaching out to grab Shuichi's upper arms. He could feel the taut muscles beneath his hands. He matched Shuichi's fierce glare. "Okay, yes, he told me of what went on. Yes, he asked me to keep an eye on you but that's because he knew I would anyway. You're here because I want you here!"

"Oh, really?" Shuichi sneered. He didn't bother even trying to physically break free from Yuki's grasp. "Isn't it just because you were told to make certain nothing happened to your brother-in-law's precious commodity? Otherwise you would have just let me go off to the party and not been worried one bit about me! You would have never invited me here!"

Yuki felt the blood pounding in his temples, his face flushing. He leant down closer to Shuichi, lowering his face so they could look directly into each other's eyes. "Do you want me to show you how much I want you here? Do you want to see why I want you here? Are you ready for that?" He crushed his mouth to Shuichi's, kissing him fiercely.

Shuichi didn't move. His body never shifted, nor did he respond in any way. Yuki lifted his head again, meeting that wide amethyst gaze, with the hidden flames leaping in their depths that seemed to sear him to his soul. Realisation struck – hard. Shit, he was doing it again! Trying to monopolise and take Shuichi over, force him to do what Yuki wanted, when he wanted it. He'd been trying to break that habit but when he lost his self control bad habits resurfaced all too easily. He released Shuichi abruptly, almost thrusting him away, with a muttered oath, before turning away himself.

"Sorry," he mumbled, keeping his back to Shuichi, unable to bring himself to look at his face. "You can go if you want to. I didn't … mean to do it like that." His words trailed off, then he took a deep breath and struggled to finish his thought. "I … just wanted tonight to be for us."

He heard the rustle of cloth as Shuichi moved and a footstep, probably heading for the door. Damn it, Yuki cursed silently, berating his own idiocy. He didn't know how to deal with his confused churned up emotions where Shuichi was concerned. He was constantly being thrown into turmoil of a kind he'd never faced before, from the very first moment he had met the brat. And no matter how hard he tried to change, or to do things differently, he still continued to screw up. After all this time and effort, now he would have to try and begin again if he was ever going to have a chance of being with Shuichi. Although he was beginning to believe himself cursed, for every time he tried to make things right between them he would somehow manage to royally screw things up.

He started violently, pulled from his morose thoughts as he felt a hand curl around his arm. He glanced around to see Shuichi right beside him, looking at him evenly.

"You are such an idiot sometimes," Shuichi said with a crooked smile. "And so am I. Sorry."

"What are you apologising for?" Yuki asked gruffly, moved beyond measure to find that Shuichi had remained but being very careful to not physically move in anyway to may frighten him away. "I'm the one who acted like a jerk."

"Well, yeah, but I did too," Shuichi said a soft laugh." His face grew serious and he squeezed Yuki's arm briefly as he glanced away for a moment. "I guess I'm a little more uptight about what happened than I thought." He looked back to Yuki. "It's a bit frightening that someone could do something like that. I just don't understand what I've done to make them want to. And I'm worried that Hiro or Suguru could get hurt as well."

He slid his hand down Yuki's arm to thread his fingers in Yuki's hand, holding it tightly. "And I didn't want you to be all nice to me like this just because of something like that," he admitted.

"It's not just because of that," Yuki emphasised. "You know it's more."

Shuichi nodded. "Yeah, I know. I guess." He smiled up at Yuki. "I'm glad you could come tonight. I'm really glad."

"Me too," Yuki said, pressing a soft kiss to Shuichi's forehead. Shuichi's hand tightened in his.

"That's pretty tame," Shuichi whispered, voice husky, looking up at Yuki through half lidded eyes. "Is that all you've got to show me?"

-oOo-

The pounding on the door roused Yuki from a sound sleep. He stared at the ceiling for a moment wondering if the pounding he was hearing was nothing more than a hangover. No, couldn't be, he'd barely had anything to drink last night. No, it was definitely the door. He glanced over at the clock on the bedside table seeing that it read just after 10.00am. Not horrifically early but Yuki had been more than happy to remain in bed with the pleasant thoughts of Shuichi and last night. They may have only gone as far as some oral sex but that had still been more than enough for him. He'd been so relieved to realise that Shuichi hadn't been afraid of taking things that far, even going on the offensive when Yuki attempted to have some restraint and send him home. A pleasurable shiver ran down his spine. He wasn't going to regret giving in to Shuichi's demands.

The pounding continued and it was beginning to really irritate him. Obviously the person on the other side wasn't taking the hint that either he wasn't home or he wasn't going to answer. Finally he gave in. He was never going to be able to get back to sleep with this racket anyway. He'd get rid of the arsehole on the other side and then go back to bed.

He stalked to the door with nothing more on than his sweat pants, not caring about decorum or if it was suitable for him to answer the door bare chested. He flung the door open and glared at the smiling countenance of K.

"Howdy! And a good morning to you!" K said cheerfully, pushing past Yuki and striding into the sitting room.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Yuki snarled.

"I've come to collect my wayward charge," K sang out, making his way without a by-your-leave to the bedroom.

"Hey, you fucking bastard, who the fuck do you think you are, barging in here? And who the hell are you looking for?"

"Shuichi, of course," K replied as though it should have been perfectly clear to Yuki.

"Well, he's not here, you prick! He went home last night!"

"Oh? Sure he isn't hiding here? Perhaps he's in the bathroom?" K headed in that direction.

Yuki had had enough by now. "HE…IS…NOT…FUCKING…HERE!" he practically screamed out.

K stopped in mid-stride. "Really? He's really not?"

"That's what I've been fucking telling you!" Yuki grated out, eyes blazing and hands clenched in fists at his side. He suddenly felt a cold wave wash over him. "Are you saying he's not in his hotel? Did something happen to him after he left last night…"

K held up one hand to forestall him as he pulled out his mobile phone and made a call. "Is Shindou there? He is? You're absolutely sure it's him? It's not an impostor or anything? No? Good. Make certain he gets to the stadium on time then, I'll be there shortly."

He hung up and looked at Yuki with a pleased smile. "Everything's fine," he confirmed. "Shuichi is apparently having breakfast as we speak with Hiro and Suguru so they'll make it in plenty of time back to the stadium."

Yuki felt himself go weak at the knees with relief, then he felt the boiling rage begin. K had worried him all for nothing.

"Are you telling me," he spat out. "That you came barging in here and hadn't even bothered to check if Shuichi was actually at his hotel?"

"Well, a little bird told me that he had accompanied you back here so I just naturally assumed he would have stayed the night."

"Then next time don't fucking 'assume' anything!" Yuki snarled, glaring at the man. "We just talked and then he went home." He stalked to the door and slammed it open.

Yuki noted the smirk that had now appeared on K's face. "What?" he snapped.

"Oh, nothing," K said airily, looking skyward. "Nothing at all."

He wasn't going to tell Yuki that across his chest was the finest shimmer of glitter that only came from the gel used in Shuichi's hair during the concert last night. His smirk became an all out grin. He could imagine only too well what the two of them must have got up to last night – at least he hoped they got up to that much. Something must have 'gone down' for Shuichi to have smeared his hair gel so liberally over Yuki's chest. It wasn't designed to come off easily being for concert use.

Yuki glared at the grinning man before him and internally growled. His head felt stuffy from lack of sleep and his body ached from the unused to activities sprung on it last night. Not that he was complaining but he desperately wanted to go back to bed and sleep and having to deal with K or anyone else associated with Bad Luck - Shuichi excepting of course - was the last thing he needed.

"If you've nothing else to say then get out," he finally said, pointedly turning his back on K. "And shut the door behind you."

"Of course," K said amicably, complying obediently.

However just before he pulled the door closed as he exited K couldn't resist a parting remark of, "Oh, and by the way, I'd be certain to shower well. That stuff is hell to get off properly."

Yuki turned to ask what he meant but K was already gone and he was left looking at the closed door.

What the hell did that idiot of a manager mean? He stalked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. He frowned, not seeing anything.

Turning he flicked the light switch and as his eyes fell on his image once more he could see all too clearly what K must have been referring to. His entire chest and abdomen glittered like a thousand sparkling stars in the light.

Yuki reached up a hand and rubbed it across his pectoral muscle and looked at his hand to see that the glitter had now transferred to it. He wiped it quickly on a towel and checked again. There was still a glimmer present.

He began to swear, a steady stream of expletives falling from his lips as he yanked off his sweatpants and stepped into the shower. Scrubbing hard and using copious amounts of shower gel and exfoliating scrub the expletives didn't cease as he knew full well that this would only wake him up and any chance of returning to his bed was gone for that day.


	29. Chapter 29

**Title**: Unlocking My Love

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings:** some bad language, implied sexual acts

Author's Note: I hope you enjoy this next instalment!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, apart from Jim Harris and Annette; they belong to the creator of 'Gravitation'.

Chapter 29

Shuichi sat at the table, absently chewing on a straw. This room was set aside exclusively so Bad Luck and their entourage could have breakfast in peace at the hotel, far from prying eyes. It was large and silent at this point, although some remnants of previous diners were evident, awaiting to be cleared. Only a dull murmur from beyond the door and walls indicated the presence of other hotel patrons indulging in their morning respite.

He had come down earlier than normal, not that he was particularly tardy in the mornings – K saw to that. However, he was even earlier than normal today and had managed to avoid the usual traumatic encounter with their eccentric manager. He could have stayed in bed with a clear conscience as they had a later start today being the morning after their first concert but his tumbling thoughts had driven him from the warm bed.

He stared vacantly into space, eyes focused on nothing. He hadn't slept particularly well. No, that wasn't quite true. When he had first returned he had fallen asleep almost immediately and slept like a log for a few hours, exhausted emotionally and physically. What had eventually awoken him so early were dreams. No, not dreams – memories. Of Yuki.

He felt his face flush and groaned, letting his head drop backwards so he now stared at the white ceiling. His eyes noted the small brown stain in one corner, obviously from some water damage at some point. Everything about yesterday was a dizzying blur; the excitement of the concert, the euphoria of the music, and after – after, the bliss of his time with Yuki. Even now he could hardly believe he had done that.

With another heartfelt groan he now dropped his head into his folded arms on the table top to hide his burning face although there was no-one to see. His thoughts were enough to embarrass himself!

How could he have done that? No, stupid question, he chided himself. He had known exactly what he was doing. His head had been perfectly clear. He had been so caught up in his emotional high from the concert all caution and inhibitions simply flew away. He had wanted to do that. But he couldn't help but wonder, if in other circumstances, would he have done it? Had he just let himself get carried away with the whole thing and gone with the flow? And how could he face Yuki after that?

He could still feel the warmth of Yuki's skin; the smoothness of his stomach, the touch of long fingers threaded in his hair. Echoing in his ears was Yuki's low moan, the sharp intake of breath, the short breathy gasps, and that last long drawn out sigh as he shuddered under Shuichi's touch.

The heat from Shuichi's flushed face had by this time permeated through his entire body. Oh, yes, he had known what he was doing. Only too well it would seem. He took a deep breath in and let it out slowly, feeling it brush across his bare arm encircling his head.

Although he had accepted some time ago that he had been in a relationship, and an intimate one at that, with Yuki, their contact had only been kisses and small touches till now. He hadn't even had to think too hard about what he did last night; his body had moved on its own, guided by deep seated memories. So what happened now? Where did this lead them?

Hiro stepped though the door and paused, seeing Shuichi slumped on the table in the empty room.

"Hey," he called out, stepping inside, Suguru close on his heels. "You're up earlier than I thought."

He made his way directly towards the enticing smell of coffee on the sideboard.

"Good morning," Suguru absently said politely, his focus on the food already though this didn't make him forget his manners.

One of Shuichi's hands rose and waved acknowledgement at them in a lack lustre manner though he didn't say anything with his head still buried face down on the table.

"Had breakfast?" Hiro asked, taking a chair and cradling the cup of steaming coffee he had poured.

The hand waved up and down as though nodding which Hiro took as a yes.

"So," he said, as the silence stretched. "Did you sleep okay?"

This time Shuichi's hand movement vacillated from side to side, as though indicating uncertainty.

"So-so?" Hiro hazarded.

"So is Shuichi practicing semaphore now?" Suguru questioned, as he seated himself, one eyebrow raised quizzically as he eyed his bandmate. Hiro just grinned at him before turning his attention back to Shuichi.

"I must admit I was surprised to see you back so soon," Hiro commented. "Thought you would have stayed the night with Yuki."

The hand made frantic waving motions in the air above Shuichi's head as Hiro looked on in amusement. Suguru had continued to watch this by-play as he ate and glanced back to Hiro.

"Takes on a whole new meaning to the phrase, 'talk to the hand', don't you think?' he said.

"Yep!" Hiro agreed with a grin.

Shuichi's hand moved and gave him 'the finger' and he burst out laughing. If Shuichi was acting this weird then something must have happened but it wasn't all bad. He caught Suguru's eye again who just shrugged and returned to his food.

"Come on, Shu. Spill the beans," Hiro teased.

Again the hand waved emphatically what could only be a 'no'.

"Aw, Shu-i-ch-i," Hiro wheedled insincerely.

This time the finger of the hand closed until only the index finger was straight and it waggled scoldingly at him.

Hiro chuckled. He hadn't thought Shu would give in to his false begging.

"Fine," he said, "But you know you can't keep a secret to save your life!"

Finally Shuichi lifted his head so his chin rested on his other arm and glared at Hiro.

"Perhaps I've gotten better at it!" he growled.

"Maybe," Hiro acceded, setting his cup down and standing, "but you better be sure there's no hickies left in places that can be seen."

"There aren't!"

"Hickies? Or not in places they can be seen?"

"Either!" Shu scowled at him.

"Pity. What's taking you so long?" Hiro went and poured himself another cup of coffee.

"Why are you so accepting of this all of a sudden?" Shuichi questioned him, a serious look on his face.

Hiro smiled at his friend. "It's not like it's something new," he reminded Shuichi. "You two were together before so there's not much point me getting all angsty about it all over again. Been there, done that, as they say."

"I guess," Shuichi acknowledged, now lifting his head further to lean his cheek into the palm of his other hand, elbow on table, staring absently off to the side.

"It would probably just be better for you both to just get on with it," Suguru suddenly said.

"What?" Shuichi focussed back on the occupants of the room.

""Sex," Suguru said bluntly.

Shuichi's face went bright red. "How… how…" he spluttered.

Suguru looked at his flustered friend and straight-faced said, "I think you are more than aware of the mechanics of 'how'," he said, taking a sip of miso soup. "However, if you have forgotten that also I'll loan you some books to read up."

Shuichi's face just reddened further, so much so that Hiro wondered if his friend was about to truly have a seizure of some sort.

"How can you just say that?!" Shuichi finally exploded, both hands clenched in fists and crashing to the table top, sending the dining utensils clattering.

Suguru looked at him calmly, nonplussed. "As Hiro said, it's not like it's new to either of you and this tiptoeing around is becoming annoying." He frowned at his friend.

"Well, what if I don't want to!" Shuichi stammered out.

"Oh, please!" Suguru said, taking another mouthful of food. "You two have so many suppressed pheromones oozing out when you're around each other it's surprising you don't burst!"

"Suguru's right," Hiro interrupted now, grinning. "You can deny it all you like but it's the truth, isn't it?"

Shuichi looked at his two friends and then sighed loudly, dropping his head back onto the table top. Both hands rose over his head in a gesture of surrender. Hiro chuckled whilst Suguru snorted in half amusement.

"Don't stress," Hiro reassured Shuichi. He walked across and ruffled his friend's hair, still damp from the shower. "You're doing fine. You don't have to push yourself."

"That's what Yuki said too," Hiro heard Shuichi mumble.

"So he's doing okay with things as well," Hiro commented. "You know he's there for you. He has been for a long time."

"I know," Shuichi's muffled voice agreed. "I just don't know what I should do."

"Do what feels right," Suguru put in firmly.

Shuichi glanced up over his folded arms to meet Suguru's steady gaze.

"You can only do what is right for you," Suguru continued, his eyes not shifting from Shuichi's. "Everything you do shows that Yuki is important to you and that you do want to be with him. Nothing's been able to break you two apart completely. However, you have changed. You both have. So it's up to you to rebuild the life you want from here. But," and now he frowned and Shuichi could see the hint of worry there. "it won't happen if you don't try. If you're too scared to move forward you won't accomplish anything. Don't think it will happen on its own, it's up to you to make it work. Move on, move forward, and choose how your want your future to be with Yuki."

"Suguru," Shuichi whispered, eyes tearing up a little.

Hiro's hand gently ruffled his hair again and he looked up to meet his old friend's loving gaze and warm smile.

"You know we're both here for you and we'll support you so don't think you're on your own. It might be scary but you don't achieve anything if you get too scared to try, right?" Hiro then glanced at his watch and grimaced. "Well, we'd better get organised to head back to the stadium or we'll be late." He looked towards the door. "I'm surprised K's not here to march us out at gunpoint. I can't believe that he, of all people, actually slept in!"

Shuichi stood and pushed back his chair. "Probably found some other poor sucker to harass instead."

"Most likely," Suguru agreed, fastidiously wiping his mouth and stacking his plates.

"Well, today should be good!" Hiro said cheerfully, slapping Shuichi's back as they made their way to the door. "We did great last night so Touma should be pretty pleased, right?"

Shuichi straightened his shoulders, eyes showing some of his usual enthusiasm and verve. "Yeah, we did good!" he agreed, smiling.

"That's the spirit!"

Shuichi now had a bounce in his step and a broad smile on his face. "So let's aim to be bigger and better than Nittle Grasper by the end of this gig!"

"That might be asking a bit too much," Suguru stated practically.

"Maybe," Shuichi said, grinning. "But you don't know until you try! We can aim to be just as good!"

"Well," Hiro said, smiling as his friend bounded out the door. "I don't suppose there's anything wrong with having a goal to aim for, is there?"

"I guess not," Suguru agreed with him. "It can't hurt, I suppose."

Hiro glanced at his bandmate and although Suguru's features were his usual calm he saw the glint of competitiveness in those clear eyes. Hiro grinned, feeling the building of excitement in his own chest at the thought of besting their creator. Yeah, why don't they?

-o0o-

Tatsuha grunted as he placed the last box on top of the stack he had built there. He leant against it for a moment and wiped the sweat that had developed on his brow from his exertions. He had been going hard at it for a couple of hours already, helping out around the venue; shifting, moving, running errands. There always seemed to be a never ending list of things to do; and here he thought it would be easier once the concert started. He sneezed and rubbed his nose. Damn dust!

The soft strains of song reached his ears and he looked around. He knew that song, and that voice. Sure enough, in the distance, he could see Ryuichi, standing by one of the large speakers at the side of the stage. His head was leaning back and Tatsuha imagined he had his eyes closed though he couldn't tell for certain at this distance.

Ryuichi wasn't singing loudly, his usually powerful voice not filling stadium as Tatsuha knew he could effortlessly. He obviously wasn't rehearsing for tonight's show either. His powerful voice was muted, gently lilting through the air, the voice of an angel.

Tatsuha stood spellbound as always. He closed his eyes, letting the song wrap gently around him, feeling it caress his body, reaching down to the very bottom of his soul. It soothed him, calming him, and he let out a deep sigh feeling himself relax. He had been so up tight for so long he had forgotten what it had felt like to truly relax as he felt the tense muscles in his neck and shoulders begin to release.

Since arriving in New York he had barely spoken to Ryuichi, despite being near him all day, every day during his duties. Sure he was pretty busy, and his time was taken up doing any number of things. Being far down the pecking order, he was pretty much at the beck and call of anyone in the entourage but that was his job and what he had signed on for. Still, he could have found the time to talk to Ryuichi if he had wanted to. Why was he finding it so hard to even just say 'hello' now?

He still wasn't sure why Tohma had invited him on this trip; if it was just for an extra pair of hands there were plenty of people he could have called on who would beg to have this opportunity. So why ask Tatsuha? His brother-in-law never did anything for nothing, although even Tatsuha had to admit that Tohma would do anything for family, sometimes in a very scary way.

He had often wondered what his sister had seen in Tohma. Sure he was good-looking, had money, and was famous. So money, wealth and looks were well and truly covered. But Mika had known Tohma before the money and fame and their relationship had already been strong. So all Tohma had had was his good looks and Mika was not one to have her head turned by such a thing. Perhaps even back then she had seen what Tohma could be. Would be. Tohma's strongest supporter was, and had always been, his wife. Tatsuha envied their relationship, the way they supported each other without curbing their individual talents and dreams. It was a true balance of equals.

He was beginning to see a bit of that with his brother too. At the beginning of Eiri's relationship with Shuichi it was very one-sided, with Shuichi chasing after his brother desperately, trying to be noticed and accepted. He hadn't felt that it was a very healthy relationship back then but had accepted it was probably the best that Eiri could do, being the way he was. Then when Shuichi had disappeared and he had seen Eiri fall completely apart he had realised just how dependent his brother had been on Shuichi; it wasn't just Shuichi's need to be with Eiri. He didn't think he could have that sort of all absorbing relationship; of literally living for the other person. If that was 'love' it was damn scary. Yet, since Shuichi came back he had begun to see them building a relationship that seemed far more stable and sincere. Seeing the two of them together they appeared to be more equals now. Tatsuha thought it was definitely for the best, for both of them for which he was very glad.

He grimaced to himself. It seemed that difficult relationships ran in his family. Mika and Tohma; Eiri and Shuichi; he and… Could he really claim to be in a 'relationship' with Ryuichi? Hardly. He covered his eyes with one hand, drawing darkness across them. What did he have with Ryuichi? That was the main reason he accepted Tohma's offer to join this tour, despite his misgivings.

Yet since coming here he had done nothing. Trying to even think of speaking to Ryuichi made his throat close up. Before this he had never had any problem talking to Ryuichi. He would have thrown himself at the older man, babbling one hundred miles to the minute, trying to touch his idol. Now he couldn't seem to find anything to say. He didn't want to gush and carry on as he used to. He had seen how all the fans of Nittle Grasper and Ryuichi behaved since their arrival. He had known that Ryuichi had become famous here in the US, outside of Nittle Grasper, but he hadn't truly appreciated just how popular he was. Western fans seemed far more extroverted as well, so forward and demanding. He had witnessed the fawning, the screaming, the admiring eyes, the naked lust and craving for their idol, all directed at Ryuichi. Suddenly it made him sick to the stomach to realise that is how he looked too.

And with that realisation, he hadn't been able to speak a single word to Ryuichi again. He didn't want to be just one of those many fans that blended into the milling crowd. He didn't want to be saying the same things, screaming out Ryuichi's name insanely. He didn't want to see Ryuichi's polite and professional smile broadcast to him just as it was to all the other fans, eyes not fixed on anyone, glancing past them all, all of them treated exactly the same. He wanted to be different, he wanted to mean something more to Ryuichi. He wanted to give Ryuichi something more than just idolisation.

Tatsuha dropped his hand and opened his eyes, focussing back on the softly singing man. It was then that he noticed Tohma sitting opposite Ryuichi, on the opposite side of the stage, blonde head bowed over the keyboard on his knees as his elegant fingers drew a delicate melody softly from the instrument to accompany his friend. Neither looked at each other, it would seem at a casual glance that they weren't even aware of each other but nothing could be further from the truth. These two people were so in sync with each other, completely together in that moment.

Tatsuha felt a stab of envy. He had thought he was so lucky to be able to be with Ryuichi and see so much of him growing up, due to his family's association with Tohma. He had gloated over his supposed preferential status, boasted he could call Ryuichi a 'friend'. He had thought he was so special to be able to talk with Ryuichi, to be by his side. Until he realised that what he had was really nothing, and it was all as insubstantial as a dream, a false fantasy. Reality was what these two men had – Tohma and Ryuichi. Built not just on a mere number of years of contact but more deep meanings and feelings. Feelings Tatsuha could never share. But he wanted to – he wanted to have those types of special feelings with Ryuichi, be able to share such moment as these with him, moments that were only for the two of them.

Tatsuha felt a pang in his chest and grimaced. Yeah, right, he thought turning away. He was nothing but a brat in Ryuichi's eyes, chasing after him, clinging to him. Ryuichi may act like a kid to most people but there was a maturity and depth there that was more than Tatsuha ever could have. It was all too easy to forget Ryuichi's real age. Many times over the years Tatsuha had seen glimpses of emotions in Ryuichi's eyes, emotions belying his seeming childlike persona. Tatsuha didn't know what experiences could create such unknown emotions and part of him felt he didn't want to know but he did want to be able to share those moments with Ryuichi. Be able to support him at those times when he seemed so frail that he might shatter. He wanted to be the one whose steadying hand and shoulder could comfort him, not Tohma. In short, he wanted to replace Tohma and be the most important person in Ryuichi's life.

He wanted that but knew it was impossible. Ryuichi would never rely on him; a young, stupid guy, barely able to be called an adult. Someone who had frittered his life away just fooling around with no direction, always letting other people do stuff for him. What could he offer Ryuichi, an international megastar? The answer was nothing. He also wasn't so naïve as to think he only wanted all this with pure intentions. His desires for Ryuichi hadn't gone. He still wanted him, there was still lust. Ryuichi still lit a burning fire deep in the pit of his belly with just a look, a word, a touch. He still wanted to hold that slim body, caress that skin, kiss those sensuous lips. He still wanted Ryuichi but he also wanted to give Ryuichi something. Support, comfort, help, Tatsuha didn't know what really. He could hardly articulate it himself to understand and that was what was tearing him up inside.

He sighed deeply, scrubbing a hand across his eyes, thankful that the gloves he was wearing soaked up any moisture present. He turned away, heading for the side exit, followed by the song. He should just face it, he thought gloomily. He had nothing to give Ryuichi. He may as well just give up. Soon the song faded from his hearing as he went back to work.

-o0o-

Tohma lifted his head, his fingers not ceasing their movement, and watched Tatsuha leave the hall. He had known full well that the young man had been silently watching them all this time. He closed his eyes again.

"So what will you do?" he said softly.

The song stopped as Ryuichi ceased singing.

Tohma looked up to see his friend gazing after Tatsuha also. "Nothing."

"Perhaps you should," Tohma answered.

Ryuichi pushed away from his position and walked across to stand before Tohma, hands in pockets.

"No," he said, looking down at this friend. "I can't. Otherwise this all would have been for nothing."

"Do you think he can't handle it?" Tohma was certain Tatsuha was more than able to accept Ryuichi's strange behaviour in all its entirety. He had been around it from a young age so it was nothing new.

"Not that," Ryuichi clarified.

"Then what? If things don't work out Tatsuha could get through it fine."

"I don't think I could," was Ryuichi's startling answer.

Tohma's head swung up in surprise, eyes wide, fingers stopping in mid bar. How… unexpected, Tohma thought, gazing up at his friend's profile as he looked into the distance. The expression on his face was one that Tohma hadn't seen for many, many years. Ah, he thought, a gentle smile touching his lips.

He placed the keyboard carefully on the floor and stood, brushing his trousers down fastidiously. "Well," he said, drawing Ryuichi's gaze back to him. "Sometimes you have to take a chance."

Ryuichi slowly shook his head. "No," he stated. "I don't want to risk it."

"Are you sure?"

"Not really," Ryuichi admitted, turning away. He paused and looked over his shoulder at Tohma. "Don't interfere, Tohma," he warned. "You sometimes… take things too far."

"Me?" Tohma said innocently, holding his hands out on either side, palms up with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Uh hu," Ryuichi said, eyes narrowed.

Kumagoro suddenly appeared on his shoulder, facing Tohma. The two pink arms waved at him. "Behave or Kumagoro will get mad."

"Okay," Tohma agreed affably, walking toward his friend. He reached out and took one small pink paw and shook it solemnly. "I promise I won't talk to Tatsuha about this." He smiled warmly at Ryuichi. "Now let's go teach those young hotshots in Bad Luck what being pop idols is really about!"

Ryuichi's grin was broad, showing not a hint of the seriousness and sadness he had expressed before. "Kumagoro Attack!" he yelled, swatting Tohma over the head and turning to run, laughing, from the stage.

Tohma smiled fondly after him, absently rubbing the side of his temple where one hard button eye had struck him. "Ah, you are such a handful at times," he said softly to himself. His narrowed for a moment. "I hope you know what you are doing."

-o0o-

The second night of the concert came and went. Bad Luck had arrived around lunchtime, met by a beaming K at the back door.

"You're right on time!" he praised them, reaching out to ruffle Shuichi's hair. "Even our little prodigal son here! Well done, well done!"

Shuichi swatted his hand away, scowling. "What do you mean, 'prodigal son'?" he snapped. Then aside he whispered urgently to Hiro, "What's 'prodigal' mean?!"

"Don't worry about it," Hiro whispered back in assurance.

"Come on, come on," K ushered them inside and down the corridors, one hand on both Shuichi's and Suguru's backs to push them along in front of him. "Your lord and master awaits you!"

"He means Tohma," Suguru interpreted for Shuichi who was beginning to look panicky.

"Oh," Shuichi let out a sigh of relief, then looked over his shoulder and frowned at K. "Why can't you just talk like normal?"

"Normal?" K repeated, a glint in his eye. His hand left Suguru's back only to suddenly brandish a sub-machine gun. He pulled the trigger and shot off some rounds towards the ceiling as Shuichi and Suguru clapped hands over their ears. "Is this more normal for you?!"

"You just had to say something, didn't you?" Suguru said with a sigh, reaching up to brush the light dusting of plaster from his hair.

"Sorry," Shuichi said in a small voice, doing the same.

"So let's go!" K said happily, going back to pushing the two of them along the corridor.

Hiro had to walk briskly to keep up, not something he generally had to worry about with his longer legs. K was setting a much faster pace then normal and he couldn't help but wonder why. Glancing quickly behind he had seen the extra security guards had fallen in silently behind as soon as they had entered the building, as well as their usual driver having been replaced by one of the black suite brigade, with a second one in the front passenger seat.

At this pace it didn't take them long to reach the room set aside for large meetings. K practically threw Shuichi inside, with Suguru swiftly entering of his own free will to avoid the same treatment. As Hiro passed in front of K at the door he paused for a moment to speak. "Any progress?" he said under his breath, knowing that K would be the only one to hear.

"Not yet," was the almost silent reply.

Hiro flicked his eyes to the side, without turning his head, to meet K's clear gaze. "Don't worry. I swear I won't let anything happen to Shuichi."

Hiro gave a sharp nod and stepped forward to take a seat at the table, already filling up with other personnel. He had to put his faith in K to keep Shuichi safe.

From that moment on Bad Luck's time was filled with further meetings and discussions of the night before and changes for that evening's concert, before rehearsals even began so the afternoon flew by and before they knew it evening was falling and the crowds were gathering.

Shuichi paced in dressing room, nervous energy crackling around him. His toned body had been bronzed, glitter sprinkled liberally, the vine tattoo seemed alive as it shifted with his every movement. He was itching to get out on stage, almost quivering like a hunting hound scenting the prey. He couldn't wait to be in the centre of the stage, to feel the music filling the air. He only wished that Yuki could be here but it couldn't be helped.

He hadn't thought to even ask Yuki if he would be coming, he had kind of just assumed that he would be so it had been a bit of a shock when he had received a text during his first meeting from Yuki wishing him luck for tonight. He had wanted to reply immediately but the frown that Tohma directed to him as he had tried to hunch down and secretly do so under the table had sent a chill down his spine and he had put his phone away and returned his attention to the discussion. As soon as he had been able to he had responded and thus had learnt that Yuki had his own commitments that day consisting of a TV interview, a book signing, and then a special dinner.

Shuichi sighed. He had completely forgotten that Yuki was actually over here for business himself, not just to see Shuichi. In fact, Yuki had been here first so shouldn't it be Shuichi chasing him instead of expecting him to be at his concerts every night? He sighed again. How selfish he was being. He had gotten used to Yuki spending so much time with him. He half wanted to ditch the concert and go find Yuki but it was only a half hearted thought. He knew it wasn't practically. He had grown up a little from that behaviour. Still, the fact that he wouldn't be seeing Yuki this day had bothered him a little.

Perhaps it had Yuki also because they began exchanging texts during the afternoon. Considering how much he knew Yuki disliked texting it was a colossal feat in itself how many he had sent. Shuichi kept re-reading those messages over and over, even now just before the show. It made him feel good to do so. He had at first been concerned that Yuki would try and say something about last night but there was nothing too suggestive about them thankfully. The closest was Yuki's, 'Thanks for last night. It was good. Hope you liked it to.'. He didn't make the last a question but Shuichi still felt compelled to respond. He didn't want Yuki thinking he had pressured him into it or something. His brief response had simply been, 'Me too.'. Even sending that had made his cheeks burn for a moment. Still he felt better that he hadn't tried to pretend he didn't know what Yuki was talking about, or trying to brush it aside. He still didn't know what he was going to do next, or what Yuki might expect of him but when they met again he knew he would find out.

"Ready to go?" Hiro said, sticking his head in the door, Suguru behind him.

Shuichi touched the necklace around his throat, fingers tracing the outline of key and heart. "You bet!"


	30. Chapter 30

**Title**: Unlocking My Love

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings:** some bad language, implied sexual acts

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters, apart from Jim Harris, or story concept behind this; they belong to the creator of 'Gravitation'' and I make no profit from this.

Chapter 30

Yuki tossed back half of his drink in one gulp, squinting at the bright lights blazing down from the ceiling, feeling the bubbles tickle the back of his nose, trying to block out the incessant buzz of noise around him.

"It's a good thing that's not alcohol," Mizuki said, smiling as she joined his side.

Yuki turned his head to acknowledge her, holding the half empty glass at an angle that threatened to spill the rest of its contents on the floor. The long emerald green gown Mizuki wore was a simple cut, not festooned with what Yuki always thought was unnecessary glitz on women's dresses. The material shimmered in the lights and was cut in a way that showed the curves without embarrassingly clinging to every inch, and avoided the exposure of more flesh than was pleasing. Yuki thought Mizuki was far more sensible in her chosen attire than most of the females present that evening. And the colour suited her well – not too dark, not too garish, complimenting her complexion, age and fuller, more mature figure. Yes, far more suitable; not that he would expect anything less from his editor.

"It would be better if it was," he said with a low growl. "It might make the damn company a little more tolerable."

The material swished around Mizuki's feet as she turned so she was facing towards the rest of the room, unlike Yuki who was facing away.

"Now, now," Mizuki said soothingly. She cast a broad smile randomly to the room behind Yuki's back before returning her attention to him. "You only need to remain a couple of hours more then we would have done our duty. And you have to admit that today has been highly successful. This evening's event is simply to assure your new business associates that you will honour the arrangements we have made. You won't need to worry about it after tonight."

"Thank gods for that!" Yuki muttered under his breath.

She smiled again at him as she delicately sipped from her drink. "So what have you been doing with the glasses you have been handed so far?" she queried, head tilting slightly to one side.

It was inevitable at such functions as these that every time he moved anywhere or spoke to anyone a glass of some form of alcoholic substance was pressed upon him. Once he wouldn't have cared how much he had to drink, tossing them back easily. By the end of the evening he would usually leave with one, or even two, women who would be just as drunk, relieve his sexual tension, and sleep it off in some strange hotel room or somehow find his way home. He had been more than used to surviving through the hangovers and subsequent stomach problems that resulted from this pattern.

However, now he was being far more circumspect. He didn't want his mind addled with alcohol, nor did he want his ulcer to flare up. All that did was lead to misery, and most likely put him in hospital. He wanted to be able to spend time with Shuichi, not coughing up his guts. Somehow he knew that even alcohol wouldn't make him get through these events any better, and he had no intention of dragging drunken women back to the apartment with him either.

So to avoid this problem he had to find a way to dispose of the seeming never-ending glasses that found their way into his hand. The solution had been simple. Hold the full glass whilst talking, turn around and head for the nearest potted plant. He'd actually found that this particular corner had a lovely tall potted palm of some sort in a high ornate pot which looked like a giant urn, with a little bushy shrub of something growing around the base which carefully hid the signs of liquid he poured on. It was also semi-concealed from view as it was placed elegantly just at the corner of the bay window with a long drape of velveteen curtain caught back at its side.

He didn't say anything to Mizuki, simply indicating curtly with his chin. She glanced over her shoulder and one eyebrow rose, whilst her lips twitched as she attempted to hide a smile. Or perhaps it was to hold back a laugh. She turned back again and raised her glass to her lips, twinkling eyes catching Yuki's. He frowned and turned his head away. It was a laugh, damn her!

"Well, it is certainly better than the alternative," she said in her soft voice, polite smile still on her face as she nodded to someone in the room. "Though it is probably best that we will not be returning here again. I'm not certain we could vouch for the survival of the vegetation."

Yuki humphed and glanced at his watch. Shuichi would already be on stage now, starting the Bad Luck set. He wondered how the second night was progressing.

"I'm sure all is well," Mizuki's voice cut through his thoughts. He looked up to see her smiling at him. "I know you would much rather be there but Shuichi knows you have work as well. He would expect you to do your best as he is." Her smile grew warmer, just for him. "Let's finish this properly. So put on your best face, please, and show them what Yuki Eiri is really about."

Yuki sighed, knowing she was right and actually feeing a little better about it all. He took a deep breath, steeling himself. He could do this, had been doing this for years. It was all a game to be played, like an actor on a stage. He could do this with his eyes closed.

He took another slow deep breath before turning around to face the room once more, professional smile fixed firmly on his face now. Immediately a number of females gravitated to his side, gazing in open admiration at his looks. Not a brain cell between them, he thought uncharitably, letting their babble wash over him. His face and voice didn't reveal any of his inner thoughts as he spoke ingratiatingly to them, flattering their looks, their clothes, their jewellery, everything. He could get through this, it was just the last thing for the day and then it would all be over.

It had been a long day; a very long day. It's not that any of it had gone badly, in fact it had all gone extremely well. Mizuki had met him at the apartment mid morning, the driver Tohma had designated to them waiting downstairs with the car. Mizuki had greeted him brightly, looking calm and refreshed as usual. She waited patiently for him to get ready, running over the schedule for the day.

"So where's the bra…your kid?" he had asked as he shrugged into his jacket.

"I've left him in the care of a babysitter Tohma Seguchi has provided," she had replied, reaching up to settle his collar flatter and smooth the material over his broad shoulders. "The babysitter is very good with him."

"Must be tough still," Yuki stated, walking to the door. He didn't pause to hold the door open for Mizuki, simply walking straight through.

"Not at all," Mizuki replied, closing the door firmly behind her and ensuring it was locked. "He's used to me not being around during the day."

"Hmm," Yuki responded. That was true enough.

He recalled vague memories of his own childhood after his mother had passed away. It hadn't been an easy time for him as a child. What would it have been like if Mika hadn't been there to step into the role of 'mother' as well as big sister? She couldn't replace 'mother' completely but she had done her best. Done a damn good job really. How much worse would things have been for both he and Tatsuha if she hadn't been there for them?

He glanced at Mizuki walking at his side. Mizuki spent a lot of time with him, even with aspects that had little to do with his career. She was, and always had been, a support for him, watching over him, scolding him. From the time she had been allocated at his editor, nothing he had done or said had fazed her. She just took his bad behaviour and manners in her stride and got on with her job, managing him with a skilful ease that his previous editor had severely lacked. They had been a good team for many years now.

However, that also had meant that Yuki had taken Mizuki away from her own life to manage his. He had never asked why her marriage had failed. He had been surprised when she had married in the first place because he'd had no idea that she had even been seeing someone. How she had managed to find the time on top of everything else was a surprise. Yet he had assumed that if she had managed it then that nothing would have changed once she had married. Surely her husband must have been only too well aware of what her commitments were in relation to her job. So why was it that after only a few years he had left her?

Yuki chewed at his lip absently as he stared out the window of the car as they headed off. Maybe it hadn't just been how busy Mizuki was with work during the marriage. Having a child must have placed an additional stress on the relationship. They say that having a kid is supposed to bring couples together but as far as Yuki had seen over the years this was a load of crap. Usually it resulted in the complete opposite – for various reasons. Maybe that was exactly what had happened to Mizuki's marriage. Much of her time was already taken up with work, then any additional time would have been spent with looking after her son. That probably didn't leave much left over for the husband. He probably reached a point when he couldn't see why he was bothering being in the relationship when Mizuki had no time to spare him.

Was it his fault, Yuki wondered. Could he have changed things if he had realised back then and given Mizuki more time off? Too late now. He hadn't thought about it back then and it was all over with now so there was little point dwelling on things. But still… what about the kid? He could maybe do something to help out there. The kid needs his mother. He didn't have a father so Mizuki was all he had in the world. Yes, he would sort something out. He would have to think about it some more but it wasn't too late to work something out.

The rest of the day had rushed past in a blur of business greetings and meetings, moving from one appointment to another. An interview over lunch in a fancy hotel, a section discreetly screened off, trying to smile as he attempted to choke down the meal set before him, ignoring the flash of the camera and the whir of the video recorder. A photo shoot followed close after at a nearby park, after he had hurriedly gone to a bathroom to brush his teeth and re-groom himself. Nothing would have been worse to find he had some parsley stuck in his teeth from lunch! He had silently put up with the make-up artist bustling around, dabbing foundation and powder over his face, adding some extra colour to his lips, all the while bemoaning that he was so pale.

He had managed to squeeze in some texts to Shiuichi, catching Mizuki's amused smile as he did so but pretending he hadn't noticed her attention, pointedly ignoring her presence. For some reason being caught by her doing such a thing made him feel embarrassed so he growled a 'What?' at her to which she had simply responded cheerfully, 'Oh, nothing'.

He had been grateful in a way for such a busy day to stop him from dwelling on last night. Not that he wanted to forget it – far from it, he wished he had more time to savour the memories but he was glad for the opportunity to not be able to because if he did he would no doubt get caught up in the moment all over again and that would just be torture. So he had thrown himself into his work, much to the delight of Mizuki who didn't have to prod and cajole him in any way.

Which is why he was still at this god-awful after dinner drinks party. As he listened to the inane chatter from the females fluttering around him Mizuki expertly faded into the background, watching quietly from the sidelines. Yuki would much rather have been at Shuichi's concert about now. A furtive glance at his watch confirmed that Bad Luck would still be playing, though probably coming to the end of their set.

He swallowed another sigh. It wasn't likely that he could meet Shuichi again tonight after the concert. He had to admit that he was tired, and he couldn't escape just yet unfortunately. By the time he managed to get away not only would Bad Luck have finished playing but the entire concert would be coming to a close and with the time it would take to drive across town Shuichi would most likely be already tucked up in bed. He had a brief flash of a slumbering Shuichi and how he would like to wake him up. A pity, he thought as he pushed the erotic image away resolutely. No point in getting all fired up thinking about something that's not going to happen.

He turned his attention back to those around him, feeling more irritated by the second, when Mizuki touched his shoulder and with a warm smile to the women, she interrupted their inane patter quietly.

"My apologies, Yuki, but there are some guests that you still need to meet before they depart. Excuse us, ladies."

Yuki held his arm out to Mizuki in what appeared to be a chivalrous gesture, but was more to ensure that none of the other females would think to join him. Mizuki elegantly lay her hand on it as they crossed the room, disappearing into the crowd.

"Thanks," he muttered.

"You're welcome," Mizuki's soft response bubbled with laughter.

"So do I really have anyone to meet?" he asked, nodding randomly to people they passed.

"Actually, yes, I'm afraid," Mizuki replied. "But after that we can probably discreetly make our get away."

"That's the best idea you've had all day."

"I aim to please."

Yuki didn't respond, now just wanting the evening to be over with and gain some peace and quiet.

-o0o-

"Take this to the Lighting Manager," Tohma said, handing over the tablet to Tatsuha, even as he leant down to flick through some other papers on his desk. "If he has any queries tell him to contact me immediately.'

"Okay," Tatsuha confirmed, accepting the charge. The afternoon had been hectic as it was and as it drew closer to the concert start everyone was moving at top speed. He was sure that he had run – not walked – the length of the venue at least fifty times in the past few hours. He glanced over the tablet in his hand, noting the schematic design with lines, dots, crosses and colours. It didn't mean a lot to him but he recognised a few things now – he found he was picking up quite a bit of knowledge from being the general gopher on site.

He looked up as Sakano materialised behind Tohma, face looking flushed and breathing heavily.

"'What is it?" Tohma asked, not even turning around to see who it was, obviously fully aware that it was Sakano. It was kinda spooky how Tohma seemed to be able to 'sense' Sakano's presence.

"You are needed, sir," Sakano said softly, bending in to speak quietly in Tohma's ear, although not so quietly that Tatsuha's sharp ears couldn't pick it up. "There's been another …incident."

Tatsuha almost shivered as it seemed the air in the room plummeted to icy temperatures.

"I see," Tohma stated just as quietly, his voice even.

"What…?" Tatsuha begun but his voice vanished under the fierce gaze of Tohma, stilling his words.

"Complete your job," Tohma commanded, gathering the papers on the desk he had been looking through and tapping them into a pile which he neatly set to one side.

Tatsuha opened his mouth to argue but choked, unable to get any words out, falling silent again as Tohma fixed him with a steel gaze.

Tohma turned away, but continued to speak to Tatsuha. "After you have delivered the message I want you to find Ryuichi," He looked over his shoulder briefly, catching Tatsuha's eye. "Find him and stay by him. It is your responsibility to keep him safe, understood?"

The seriousness in Tohma's voice struck Tatsuha. "Yes!" he said sharply, straightening up and fighting the urge to salute as Tohma strode out the door swiftly, Sakano at his heels.

Tatsuha left the room also, turning in the opposite direction and set off at a run. He had to complete this task first no matter how much he wanted to go directly to Ryuichi. However he knew that Tohma expected him to be able to do both and do them properly.

His mind raced as he ran full tilt down the maze of corridors. He didn't know what exactly had happened but it obviously had something to do with the trouble that had happened before resulting in the damage to Shuichi's clothes. That was the only other time that he had seen Tohma react like that. No-one seemed to know what exactly it meant or how it might affect anyone else, or if they did they weren't telling him, lowly gopher that he was. It irked him because Shuichi was his friend, as were the rest of Bad Luck and he would help them if he could, but he hadn't been included in what ever discussions had been held after the last incident. But now 'something' else had happened though he was none the wiser as to what. Not that he expected to be taken into Tohma Seguchi's confidences, that would never happen, but he wished that he had some idea of what was going on. So if Tohma thought Ryuichi could be in trouble and had asked Tatsuha to protect him, that made him very, very concerned. He ran faster, feet slapping against the concrete floor. He wouldn't let anything happen to Ryuichi, he promised himself fiercely.

Tohma strode along briskly, Sakano trotting behind like a faithful hound. "When did it happen?" he wanted to know, not breaking his stride.

"Only… ten minutes ago," Sakano confirmed after checking his watch. "The package was intercepted quickly before it fully entered the premises and K has taken measures already."

"Good." By this time they had reached the back of the venue, only a few metres from one of the outer doors.

A small gathering was there, K standing out prominently, his golden hair gleaming amongst the sea of black suits. They parted to let Tohma approach.

"Well?" Tohma questioned.

K motioned to a long slim package, beautifully wrapped with silver trimming and bows. "I've already given it a sweep and it doesn't appear to be dangerous, but I've called the bomb squad to be sure."

"I see," Tohma studied the package, eyes taking note of everything, hands clasped behind his back. The paper was fairly normal, as where the trimmings, what you would find in most any gift shop, nothing special there.

"So… tell me," he said in a deceptively calm voice. "Just how was it that this," and he stressed the word, "was able to get here?"

There was a shuffling of feet from the normally threatening black suited guards around them though none spoke. They all knew what Tohma meant. He was asking why they had failed in their duty.

"Mr Winchester?" Tohma turned his steely gaze to the tall blonde man, singled out to be the scapegoat.

K just lifted his chin a little higher, not backing down, bracing himself to take the brunt of Tohma's wrath as manfully as he could, acknowledging his shortcomings.

"It was given to a delivery driver by a woman who asked him to bring it in," he explained succinctly, not making excuses. "The driver thought it must have been a legitimate delivery as it looked professionally done and the woman was well dressed and well spoken. The guy didn't know any better as we had not made it known to outside suppliers of any rulings about not accepting any other items to be delivered so he simply placed it on the top of the next load he brought inside. My men were already inside as they had done the initial check of the goods in the van and were at that time busy conducting the second check of the goods that had already been dropped off which is when the suspect item was identified."

"Hmm," Tohma murmured.

"My men acted in accordance to my instructions," K continued firmly. "They followed correct protocol."

"Then I would suggest you…review that protocol, don't you think?" Tohma stated quietly, head tilting to one side and piercing green eyes boring into K.

"Yes, sir!" K snapped to attention.

Just at that instant a group of men were ushered in, going straight to K who said a few quiet words to them to which they listened intently, then the bomb squad began barking orders for everyone to remove themselves from the vicinity whilst they carried out their task.

Sakano thought for a moment that Tohma would refuse to leave, noting the slight stiffening of the shoulders then he breathed a sigh of relief when his President calmly obeyed, striding away swiftly. He was a little surprised when Tohma took himself even further away than necessary, pulling his phone out and dialling. As he caught up obviously the call had been answered.

"Ah, Ryo, I'm glad you were available. Please excuse my lack of formalities, I have need of your services. There has been another incident. Just now. The bomb squad is here. There is no need for alarm – K had already conducted an initial check and was confident there was no harm in that way but deemed it necessary to have it vetted more professionally. Are you able to join me as soon as possible? Good. I will expect you shortly."

The check was done quickly by the bomb squad and the supervisor reported immediately to K who then came to Tohma.

"They've given the all clear," K said. "Nothing untoward showed up but they said that precautions should still be taken."

"Where is the item now?" Tohma asked.

"Still at the docks."

"Move it. Carefully," Tohma stressed, "to my office and then clear all personnel away from that vicinity. I'm sure they can be occupied with other things at this time."

"Not a problem," K fired off short commands into the microphone attached to his earpiece.

"Where are Bad Luck now?" Tohma asked.

"Currently going over some things in the dressing room."

"Are they aware of this matter?"

"I doubt it," K stated. "There were strict instructions that they weren't to be disturbed by anyone other than myself. And you, of course."

"Of course," Tohma agreed wryly.

K gave a half apologetic smile for his almost slip.

"Very well," Tohma continued, turning to re-enter the venue. "Make certain they do not find out about this in any sort of way. I don't want their minds on other things during the concert, nor do I want them worrying about it over the next few days. We will be gone soon enough so the quicker we can get through this time and remove them from any potential danger, the better."

"No problem."

"Also, Ryo and Dee will be arriving shortly. Have them directed immediately to my office."

"I'll bring them myself," K assured his boss. "I'll take my leave and get things organised."

Tohma made his way to his office, opening the door and pausing there a moment, looking at the innocuous object that now resided in the centre of his desk. Good thing he wasn't attached to that desk because there was no telling what might become of it before this day was over.

-o0o-

"So this was what was found?" Dee poked at the box with a pen as it lay on the top of Tohma's desk from his crouching position so he was eye level with the desk top. Everything else had been cleared away completely, leaving the top bare except for the brightly sparkling box.

"Yes," Tohma stated, leaning on the edge of his desk unconcernedly, although his gaze on the box was steady.

Ryo snapped the latex gloves as he settled them around his wrist more comfortably "Hopefully we'll get some prints off it somewhere," he said, running his eyes professionally over the item.

Dee smirked up at him, "You look like you're a doctor about to do a rectal examination!"

Ryo frowned at him to be quiet as he stepped closer to the desk and bent down to look more closely, still not touching the box.

Dee stood, then leant in closer to Ryo to whisper in his ear, "You can rub my prostate anytime, baby."

Tohma watched in silent amusement as Ryo's usually calm face flushed bright red.

"Dee…!" Ryo's hissed threat and fiery glare promised dire things to come but his partner seemed completely unrepentant and just chuckled.

The phone suddenly rang on Tohma's desk, the loud jingling startling them all. Tohma didn't move at first, letting it ring a few more times as he stared at it intently then he reached across and picked it up.

"Yes? Ah, Jim!"

Dee and Ryo both looked up, recognising the name.

"No, you're just in time. We're all still here. Just a moment and I'll put you on speaker." Tohma pushed a button and settled the phone back in the cradle. "Can you hear us, Jim?"

"Loud and clear," Jim's voice came through as though he were in the room with them. "Well, you boys certainly know how to have a good time." Even through the phone line they could hear the tone of irony.

Tohma's lips twitched slightly in amusement. "You always did have a warped idea of fun," he replied.

"Comes from hanging around with you too much," was Jim's answering retort. "So," and his tone turned serious, "what have you got?"

"Rectangular box, approximately 65 centimetres in length, 20 centimetres wide, and 15 centimetres in height." Ryo began to list off the information for Jim. "Looks to be a pretty standard box used for delivery of cut flowers from a florist. Wrapped in three different types of paper, all of the metallic look, with various silver coloured trims and one large red bow. There was no card or florist name indicated anywhere on the outer packaging."

"What's it been checked for?" Jim asked.

"The bomb squad have gone over it," Dee answered, leaning one hand on the desk top near the phone. "They found nothing that concerned them. So we're just about to crack this baby open."

"Okay, take it nice and easy," Jim warned. "If there's anything rigged up inside for a biological or chemical attack the bomb squad wouldn't necessarily pick it up. Some trigger mechanisms can be really simple but unfortunately effective for that type of thing. You're going to have to stop every step of the way and have a really good check. If you try and rush this and get it wrong one of you may not be coming out of it completely intact. Got it?"

"Not a problem," Dee said, sounding off-handed but Tohma heard the resolution underlying his voice. Dee may play the fool a lot of the time, even during work, but that didn't mean that he didn't know how to do his job properly.

"Tohma, what are you still doing there?" Jim now questioned his friend. "That place should be off limits to everyone."

"It is," Tohma assured him. "I'm not everyone."

They all heard Jim's sigh. "Fine. Whatever." Ryo found it a little amusing that the FBI agent didn't even bother trying to argue with Tohma.

"All right then," Jim said firmly. "You'd better start. The sooner you find out what nasties might be there, the sooner you can deal with it. But watch it, boys. Try and stay clear as much as you can and be really careful how you breathe. If you see any sign of powder or gas, try and breathe through your nose to reduce the particulate size you inhale if you can't hold your breath at all."

Jim fell silent and all eyes turned to Ryo. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment and schooled his expression back to calm. He would have preferred it that civilians were not also in the room but he already knew from their previous encounters that he would have no luck in making Tohma leave. How on earth would he be able to manage to do that when even Jim couldn't?

"Stand back," he said, hunkering down and carefully reached out to lift the lid, touching it as little and as lightly as possible. The bomb squad may have already cleared it for explosives for which Ryo was thankful for. Bombs brought back too many bad memories of Dee being hurt and trapped and nearly losing him. He was glad that Touma was taking no chances. However, as Jim had noted, explosives weren't the only thing that could be hidden in this deceptively pretty box.

The box lid rose smoothly, Ryo ensuring that he kept it as level as possible as he lifted. He paused for a moment as the lid just cleared the sides of the base.

"Looks clear," Dee said, kneeling on the other side of the desk.

"Got any paper lying around?" Jim interjected.

Dee looked at the floor beside the desk where everything had been cleared away to. "There's heaps," he said.

"Grab one and use it to check for anything connecting the lid to the base," Jim instructed. "And be sure that anything you remove you place on paper as you're not going to be able to place it into evidence bags. After you can just bag the evidence and paper it's on so any residue that may have fallen off will be picked up too."

Dee took a single sheet of paper and slowly eased it into the tiny gap between lid and base. Millimetre by millimetre, Dee moved the sheet of paper down the length of the box. "Don't feel any threads, wires – nothing." He reached the end of the box without mishap and laid the piece of paper on the desk.

Ryo looked down at his partner and nodded, receiving one in reply from Dee as he lifted the lid higher. Dee peered up from his crouched position, running his eyes over the inside of the lid. "Can't see any mechanisms, either attached or embedded. Looks clear."

"Any signs of staining or leakage?" Jim asked. "Any discolouration that might indicate a gas is releasing or has?"

Dee had another look, leaning closer even though Ryo could see he was holding his breath, dark eyes scrutinising every inch. Dee leant back and shook his head. "Can't see anything like that. It's clear."

Ryo carefully turned the lid fully over and looked himself – not that he didn't trust Dee's judgement – it was simple procedure to do a double check. He laid it gently onto the piece of paper Dee had used earlier.

Now all three of them could view the contents of the box for the first time.

"What's inside?" Jim asked, sounding a little impatient.

"Sorry," Ryo apologised, having forgotten for a moment that Jim couldn't see what they could. "The box is plain inside, no paper covering, there appears to be material placed on the base and from the small bit I can see it appears to be black or dark purple. The flowers appear to be standard long stemmed red roses, without thorns. Most florists would be able to supply these as they don't appear to be anything out of the ordinary, unless there is some significance to the actual type of rose they are."

Ryo ran his eyes over the rest of the box and the flowers nestled inside "Seems innocent enough," he said finally, not seeing anything else to report at this time.

"Looks can be deceiving," Dee said dryly, using his pen again to separate the long stems. The lush green leaves shifted and parted as he rolled first one, then another to one side. "Uh, oh," he murmured, noting the way the leaves of the flowers below seemed to bulge. "There's something here I think," he warned everyone.

"Careful, Dee," Ryo warned softly. Jim and Tohma remained silent.

Dee flashed his partner a quick reassuring smile before turning back to concentrate on his task. He took another pen and used the two to pick up the flowers one at a time to lay them carefully on the paper sheets that Ryo had quickly spread out across the desk top. Slowly the box emptied as the top layer was removed. Dee stopped at that point. He was wary that there still might be some type of mechanism rigged inside that might even be sensitive enough to be triggered by weight. If he removed all the flowers that would definitely do it; by removing only some he was hoping that if such a mechanism existed he had left enough to prevent the trigger activating.

He used one pen now to carefully just roll the last of the stems to each side to finally reveal what was creating the bulge he had noted. Underneath was a head – a doll's head. And it was obviously made up to look like Shuichi.

Dee shuddered as he looked at it. "Creepy!" He looked up at Touma. "Is this some of your merchandise?" he asked.

Touma shook his head. "We haven't put out any figurines of Bad Luck," he said. "Yet. That was still to come."

"So it's a home job," Dee confirmed.

"What?!" Jim demanded through the phone line.

"It's a doll's head," Ryo filled him in. "Approximately 5 centimetres in height, hollow, appears to be a soft moulded plastic or resin," as he watched as Dee's pen poked the face and it dented a little. "It's features have definitely been made up to look like Shuichi Shindou of Bad Luck, it's easily recognisable as such, though the hair has been styled and coloured differently to what he wears."

"That," Tohma put in at this point. "Is how Shuichi used to wear his hair, in the early days of Bad Luck."

"Prior to his disappearing act?" Jim questioned.

"Yes."

"That could be significant," Jim said, obviously thinking. "It could mean that who ever his stalker is, is trying to recapture how Shuichi used to be, and may have something against his image now."

"Not sure that's going to help us find the perp," Dee put in, absently rolling the head around on top of his pen.

"Dee, please don't play with the evidence," Ryo said in a slightly pained voice.

"I would have to agree," Tohma said. "It rather pains me to see Shuichi being spun around like that if you don't mind."

"Whatever," Dee shrugged as he tipped the head back into the box.

"That's because you want to be the only one to make Shu's head spin," Jim said to Tohma.

"I leave that to Yuki," Tohma replied calmly.

"Getting back to the topic," Jim continued. "Knowing that the perp has some interest in Shuichi's previous style may help with profiling to lead to catching the person. These sort of things are pretty deep rooted most times and they become fixated on stuff."

"Well, we'll leave the loony bin prognosis to the shrinks back at HQ," Dee said as he poked at the wide eyed face. "We'll get the lab to analyse this and see what they can tell us about where the original mould came from. Most of these things have a maker's mark somewhere, even based on the type of products used."

"The problem will be that if it's a common product then simply modified by the perpetrator it will be very hard to track down," Ryo said seriously. He looked up at Tohma apologetically. "I'm not sure we'll have much to go on if that is the case."

"It can't be helped if that is the case," Tohma acknowledged.

"The lab will run all the usual tests to see about prints and other residues that might be attached to any of the materials. We might be lucky to score a few hits if this was entirely put together at the perp's home. Unless they're doing it in a sterile environment there's gonna be something there," Dee said with some assurance.

"Not sure I can help you out with anything more," Jim joined the conversation. "Your own boys are going to have run all the tests so there's no point me interfering."

"I appreciate you calling, Jim," Tohma assured him.

"No problem," Jim replied. "I'm finished up here and heading home anyway. If I've got time between flights I'll stop in for an hour or so on my way."

"It would be good to see if you if you have the time. Let me know your arrangements," Tohma said.

"Will do," Jim acknowledged. "Good work, guys. Glad it didn't all blow up in your face."

"That's reassuring," Dee muttered. "Thanks for the vote of confidence!"

"Thank you for your assistance and additional knowledge," Ryo said. "It was greatly appreciated."

"Anytime. Let me know the end results if you can," Jim asked.

"We will," Ryo assured him.

"Talk later, Tohma. Say hi to the boys," and they all heard the click as the phone disconnected.

Tohma hung up the phone and they turned back to box on the desk.

"Well, I for one am very thankful that this at least has turned out reasonably harmless in itself," Ryo stated firmly.

"Yeah, though it's still a little creepy what the meaning might be behind it all," Dee agreed.

"We will take steps to further tighten up our security," Tohma stated, and was interrupted by a soft knock on the door. "Enter."

Sakano stepped in, gave a shallow bow of acknowledge to Dee and Ryo, before crossing the room to hold a box out to Tohma. "These are the security recordings for today," he said. "K has already reviewed them all and unfortunately found little additional information."

"They didn't pick up the perp at all?" Dee interrupted in surprise.

Sakano turned to address him. "It was not that they did not pick up the person of concern, it is more that the position of that particular camera and line of sight in relation to where the event occurred does not produce any results."

Dee stared at Sakano for a moment longer and then turned to Tohma. "He speaks more confusing than even you!"

Ryo stepped on Dee's foot as he moved forward, ignoring his partner's 'ow!' and antics behind him. "So you're saying that the camera couldn't pick up the person who brought this package to the delivery zone properly?"

"Yes," Sakano confirmed. "Unfortunately, the way the delivery van whose driver was approached was parked with the doors open and the height of both the van in relation to the camera, obstructed a clear view of the person. It is clear that it was a woman, but little else can be determined. The delivery van driver's description is also rather vague."

"Is he still here?" Ryo asked.

"We have him waiting in another room and notified his company that he will be further detained."

"We'll get him together with a sketch artist down at the station and see if he can come up with something useful that way," Dee said, finally joining the conversation again.

Tohma nodded to Sakano who turned fully and held the box now out to Ryo who took it. "Hopefully you may be able to find something that we have missed," Tohma said.

"We'll check," Ryo promised. Dee meanwhile was making some phone calls and in a short time additional forensics staff were milling around, removing everything from Tohma's office, checking over the delivery zone area, before disappearing again. K's security personnel kept everyone away from these areas so the work was conducted quickly and efficiently with few the wiser.

"Whatever we find, we'll let you know," Ryo promised Tohma as they shook hands good-bye.

"Yeah, but just keep a close eye on the kid," Dee warned, also shaking hands. "We still don't know if this is indicating harm towards him, or just some fan's warped idea of adulation."

"Rest assured, I'll be certain to protect Shuichi," Tohma stated. "Thank you for coming so quickly and helping with this."

"That's our job!" Dee quipped with a grin and jaunty salute as they left.

Tohma gazed after them for a time, letting all the recent events run through his mind again, assessing, sorting, weighing up. He didn't like this, not one bit. At the moment it did seem to be Shuichi only as the target, the doll's head today rather clinching that fact. However he was still worried that if Bad Luck's lead singer was being targeted, what was to stop Nittle Grasper's lead singer also becoming a target? Ryuichi could still be in danger.

"Sir?" Sakano's voice broke through his thoughts and he turned to find the man still standing behind him, waiting. "What are your instructions for tonight?"

He knew what Sakano was asking. Should they cancel or go ahead. He thought again. No, there was no point cancelling – that may very well be what this stalker is trying to achieve. No, everything would continue as it should. He would protect all his people.

He glanced at his watch and spoke, "Inform the staff that we have very little time before beginning and I expect everything to have been completed as per my instructions." He looked up at Sakano and smiled. "Tonight's concert will go ahead exactly as planned."

"Yes, sir," Sakano bowed deeply. "I shall relay your message immediately." He straightened and turned around smartly, walking away briskly to carry out his task.

Tohma more slowly made his way towards the stage. As they say, the show must go on.


End file.
